


Dumbass p5 Groupchat shit because I'm Unoriginal™

by jng



Series: Dumbass Persona Group Chat Shit™ [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akira goes from dumb to serious in like half a second, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Asexual Yusuke, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual akira, Canon Aromantic Character, Canon Asexual Character, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Lesbian Character, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Angst, Future angst? maybe, Gay Yusuke, Group Chat Fic, I'm not entirely sure, Implied Sexual Content, It follows the phantom thief plotline just some other stuff happens, Lesbian Character, Maybe - Freeform, Most characters mentioned, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Referenced Anxiety, Referenced PTSD, Slow Burn, Sort Of, Tattoos, This Is STUPID, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Yusuke is too pure for this, aromantic futaba sakura, asexual futaba, because ya boy is trash when it comes to tattoo!yusuke, bisexual ann, but this game is pretty dang dark so, chat fic, dumb humor, fight me on this okay, gray asexual yusuke, graysexual yusuke, i don't want to tag them because they're not major characters but, i only know akira kurusu, i respect you guys im just trying to be funny im sorry, id be scared if it wasnt at least a little dark, idc if ren is technically his canon name, im so sorry, im sorry, lesbian makoto, let ryuji say fuck, mentions of most of the confidants at one point or another, more innuendos then should be accepted, no hate against furries, nothing is ever actually shown though, or my attempt at slow burn lmao sorry im bad at this, p5 protag is being called akira, pansexual haru, ren amamiya whomst?, some even make brief cameos, spoilers for and following madarame's palace, still a comedy thats slowly getting darker, the lord is always watching nyall, this is just really gay, this is really gay, this is slowly getting angstier, this is the dumbest thing I've ever written, yusuke has a few stick and poke tattoos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-01-10 17:57:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 51
Words: 175,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12304569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jng/pseuds/jng
Summary: Joker: I removed the clothes. Nice close up image on the Void.Oracle: can i drink itJoker: I mean you’ll probably get sick but go for it.Oracle: drink the hidden snaccQueen: Futaba for the love of god, please do not....Or in which I got bored and decided to try my hand at a group chat fic. This is super dumb and is mostly a joke that gets a little more serious as we go alone. Spoilers for and following Madarame's palace. Don't take this too seriously, this is just for fun. Does get a little darker towards later chapters.





	1. prologue (kinda)

_May 17th 2017_

_3:23 pm_

  **Phantom Chat**

 

 **Joker:** Mishima told me that someone wanted to talk to us, specifically about a heart they want us to change.

 **Panther:** really? who is it?

 **Joker:** That’s the funny thing. You remember that guy’s heart we changed, Nakanohara?

 **Skull:** u mean the stalker?

 **Joker:** That’s the guy.

 **Panther:** do you remember how in mementos, nakanorhara’s shadow mentioned madarame? do you think it has something to do with madarame?

 **Joker:** It’s possible. Nakanohara was the first person we heard to mention Madarame.

 **Skull:** wait. mishima told u that this guy wants to talk with us?

 **Joker:** Yeah.

 **Panther:** did mishima tell him that we’re phantom thieves?!

 **Joker:** No. Don’t worry, our identities are safe. Mishima just said that he had connections, or something along those lines, and that Nakanohara should meet us at Shibuya station tomorrow after school.

 **Panther:** hey, can we talk about what happened today with kitagawa-kun?

 **Skull:** yeah. the dude flipped out and wants you to get naked so he can paint u. or so he says anyway.

 **Panther:** shut it!

 **Panther:** okay but do you guys think i actually have to be his nude model? like, i won’t have to be his nude model in order to change madarame’s heart, right?

 **Skull:** prolly not

 **Joker:** No. At least you shouldn’t have to.

 **Joker:** But...can I confess something?

 **Skull:** shoot

 **Panther:** Go for it.

 **Joker:** Yusuke may have freaked out a bit, but...he’s kind of hot.

 **Panther:** AKIRA

 **Skull:** dude..

 **Joker:** I’m just saying. He looked so focused while sketching Ann, and his hair just looks so soft..

 **Joker:** He may be….eccentric, but he is hella attractive.

* * *

 

  _May 17th 2017_

_3:25 pm_

 

Morgana hit Akira with his tail. “Really?”

Akira shrugged. He had actually forgotten that Morgana was reading over his shoulder. “I’m just saying. That whole experience may have ended badly for us, but he is incredibly hot.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about. I mean why would you write that in the official Phantom Thieves group chat?” Morgana shook his head, which actually looked kind of weird given that he’s a cat.

Akira shrugged. “Ryuji and Ann aren’t currently here right now, so I can’t say it in person. Besides, we only have one group chat.”

“That group chat is supposed to be for official phantom thief business, not for you to talk about your gay crush on Madarame’s pupil.”

“Okay, first of all, it’s not a crush. I’m merely admiring his beauty.” Morgana rolled his eyes in response. “What are you suggesting, anyway?”

Mona looked at Akira with the same look a disappointed mother would give to her child. “I’m saying that you should make a separate group chat for you to discuss things unrelated to the Phantom Thieves.” He gave the leader a minute to process this.

“Yeah. Okay. That’s a good idea. Thanks, Mona. You’re incredible.”

“I know. But let’s not do that today. You should go to sleep.”

* * *

 

_May 18th, 2017_

_6:28 am_

 

 _~ **Akira Kurusu**_ _has added **Ann Takamaki**_ **** _to the chat~_

 _~ **Akira Kurusu**_ _has added **Ryuji Sakamoto**_ **** _to the chat~_

_~ **Akira Kurusu** has changed his name to  **Joker** ~_

_~ **Joker** has changed  **Ann Takamaki's** name to **Panther** ~_

_~ **Joker** has changed  **Ryuji Sakamoto's** name to  **Skull** ~_ 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has renamed the chat to_ **_Meme Team_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** There we go.

 **Panther:** akira?? what’s this?

 **Joker:** Mona was annoyed that we weren’t actually taking the Phantom Chat seriously, so he suggested we make a separate chat.

 **Joker:** A chat dedicated entirely to memes and gay thoughts.

 **Joker:** Okay he didn’t say it like that but the implication was there.

 **Panther:** i mean, i guess that makes sense. thanks mona.

 **Panther:** this is going to go very downhill, very fast.

 **Joker:** You’re right, but it should be fun.

 


	2. memes and gay thoughts (is yusuke a furry?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skull: stop  
> Joker: ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)  
> Skull: adding more doesnt make it better

_May 19 2017_

_4:02 pm_

 

**Meme Team**

 

 **Panther:** i just want it to be known that i am not happy with this plan

 **Skull:** sorry ann but its the only way

 **Panther:** you’re so not sorry

 **Joker:** Ann, we appreciate you and your sacrifice.

 **Panther:** stop making it sound like i’m going to die!!!

 **Joker:** Thank you for taking one for the team.

 **Panther:** why do _i_ have to be the nude model?! why dont one of you do it??

 **Skull:** yusuke said he wanted you as his model

 **Skull:** dont worry, mona will be with you. and besides u dont really have to get naked. probably.

 **Panther:** “probably”?!

 **Panther:** ughh!! akira, you said you think hes hot! why dont you strip for him?!

 **Joker:** Gladly.

 **Skull:** dude..

 **Skull:** akira.

 **Skull:** chill.

 **Skull:** that is really gay.

 **Joker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Panther:** see? he’s actually willing

 **Joker:** I hate to be the barer of bad news, but if I tried he’d probably call the cops on us. I would gladly take your place. But besides, you want to be an actor. You can do it. I’m needed elsewhere.

 **Joker:** (But seriously. I’d be down to take your place.)

 **Panther:** ugh… thanks akira.

 **Skull:** we believe in you panther.

 **Panther:** sigh… thanks, skull.

 **Panther:** but seriously, why me?!

 **Joker:**  Good luck, Ann.

 **Skull:** we’re rootin for ya.

 **Panther:** okay, i’m in shibuya now. you guys should probably head into the palace.

 **Joker:** Talk to you in a bit.

 **Skull:** later ann

 **Joker:** You got this.

 **Panther:** ugh..

* * *

 

_May 19 2017_

_7:32 pm_

 

**Meme Team**

 

 **Joker:** So.

 **Joker:** That worked out well.

 **Joker:** I think.

 **Panther:** speak for yourself. i almost had to get naked for this.

 **Joker:** Thank you, Ann. Your deed has not gone unnoticed. We appreciate your efforts.

 **Joker:** (Although your acting could use a bit of work..)

 **Panther:** shut up!

 **Skull:** so does this mean yusuke is one of us now?

 **Panther:** i..think? he’s one of us for this mission at the very least.

 **Joker:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Panther:** akira...no.

 **Skull:** ok but serious question

 **Skull:** is yusuke a furry?

 **Joker:** SDKJLSDJFLJKJSDF

 **Panther:** ryuji!!

 **Skull:** did you see his tail?? hes gotta be a furry!

 **Joker:** I mean… he isn’t wrong.

 **Joker:** Your metaverse outfit is a direct result of your cognition.

 **Joker:**...Is he a furry…?

 **Panther:**...i…

 **Panther:** ...i don’t know how to respond to this?

 **Skull:** do u think his tail wags?

 **Skull:** like i know its fake but i could have swore i saw it move

 **Panther:** is that even possible?

 **Panther:** it was probably just the way he was moving. you know, physics, or something like that…

 **Panther:** does my tail wag?

 **Skull:** i mean,,,maybe?

 **Joker:** I asked Morgana and he’s just as confused as the rest of us. He said something about cognition, I think.

 **Joker:** But...I actually have no idea if it wags or not. That’s...really weird.

 **Joker:**...is that even possible?

 **Joker:** Wait, Ryuji. Why were you looking at his tail?

 **Skull:** i wasnt tryin to! i just noticed it movin out of the corner of my eyes!

 **Joker:** Sounds fake but okay.

 **Skull:** im serious

 **Panther**   [ surejan.jpg ](http://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vulture/2015/01/16/surejan.w750.h560.2x.jpg)

**Joker:** aqkdhslkhfsdkljzlijlksdfjkl’

 **Skull:** i came out here to have a good time and i honestly feel so attacked right now.

 

* * *

 

_May 21st 2017_

_6:18 pm_

 

**Meme Team**

 

 **Skull:** listen. i know we’re doin this to help ppl and shit.

 **Skull:** but madarame’s palace can suck my fucking dick jfc i am so over this

 **Skull:** even that piece of shit kamoshida’s palace wasnt this fucking bad. it was really long and irritating, but at least he didnt have fucking infrared lasers everywhere

 **Skull:** we didnt have to alter his cognition in reality to get a door to open either.

 **Skull:** this entire palace is annoying as all hell and it can eat my entire ass

 **Joker:** kinky ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Skull:** stop

 **Joker:** ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

 **Skull:** adding more doesnt make it better

 **Joker:** (͡ ͡° ͜ つ ͡͡°)

 **Skull:** changing the nose just makes it creepier

 **Joker:** /╲/\╭( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)╮/\╱\

 **Skull:** jfc what even is that?! it looks like a mutated spider or some shit

 **Joker:** (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °)

 **Skull:** akira what the hell

 **Joker:** Okay that’s all I got. Unfortunately.

 **Joker:** Wait.

 **Joker:** (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

 **Joker:** Now that’s all I got.

 **Skull:** what the fuck dude

 **Joker:** I found a list of the some of the weirdest fucking lenny faces ever and I had to use it.

 **Joker:** WAIT I FOUND MORE!

 **Skull:** jfc why

 **Joker:** (° ͜ʖ ͡ -)

 **Skull:** is it winkin or being poked in the eye wtf

 **Joker:** ( ͡°⊖ ͡°)

 **Skull:** peep and the big wide world lookin ass

 **Skull:** [ chirp-lookinass.jpg ](http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/p__/images/8/80/60329912.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150406215918&path-prefix=protagonist)

**Joker:**...Holy shit you’re right.

 **Joker:** The resemblance is almost uncanny.

 **Skull:** ikr?

 **Joker:** There’s still more.

 **Skull:** dammit

 **Joker:** ( ͡°° ͜ʖ ͡°°)

 **Skull:** adding more eyes just makes it look like a fucking spider

 **Joker:** ( ͡°❥ ͡°)

 **Skull:** once again, it looks like peep and the big wide world

 **Joker:** ( ͡°ω ͡°)

 **Skull:** kill it.

 **Skull:** kill it with fire.

 **Joker:** ( ͡°⊱ ͡°)

 **Skull:** that isnt any better wtf

 **Skull:** where are you finding this shit?!

 **Joker:** ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉)

 **Skull:** woke af

 **Joker:** ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ)

 **Skull:** i take it back. this guy is woke af.

 **Joker:** ( ͜。 ͡ʖ ͜。)

 **Skull:** why tf is it upside down?

 **Joker:** Why not.

 **Joker:** Just let him do his thing, Ryuji. Just let him do his thing.

 **Skull:** ….

 **Joker:** ( ͡° ͜V ͡°)

 **Skull:** why do all of these look like peep and the big wide world characters?!

 **Joker:** Why do you know so much about Peep and the Big Wide World?!

 **Skull:** me and ann got bored one day and they had a 24 hour livestream of peep so we watched it.

 **Joker:** Um excuse me, why was I not invited to this peep marathon?!

 **Skull:** we would have invited you except u were at work

 **Skull:** sorry bud. u missed out.

 **Joker:** That is Rude.

 **Skull:** having to work or not being invited to peep?

 **Joker:** Missing Peep because I had to work.

 **Panther:** okay wtf did i just walk in on?

 **Panther:** also that was a great peep marathon.

 **Skull:** quack is my spirit animal

 **Panther:** honestly i prefer chirp.

 **Joker:** Excuse you but don’t forget about Beaver boy.

 **Joker:** Okay but back to the original topic, Madarame’s palace is really annoying. That one room of just lasers? Kill yourself.

 **Panther:** that room was annoying as all hell.

 **Skull:** the jumping in the painting thing was also annoying. like dude, how paranoid can you get?

 **Joker:** We’ve secured the route to his treasure. It’s almost done you guys. We just need to send the calling card and steal the treasure. Everyone know your roles?

 **Skull:** yup. Decoy

 **Panther:** yeah. im in charge of shutting off the power.

 **Joker:** Awesome. We got this, you guys. Soon enough Madarame will be just another washed up celebrity.

 **Joker:** Alright, well I gotta go. I’m working at the beef bowl shop tonight and I can’t text while working.

 **Skull:** see ya leader

 **Panther:** bye

 **Panther:** i actually have to go too. i only popped in for a minute. im at a photoshoot right now so ill talk to you later.

 **Skull:** later ann

 **Panther:** see ya <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the peep and the big wide world marathon was based off of a true story.  
> next chapter yusuke will be added to the group.
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818


	3. rejected picasso bullshit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fox: ...I have nothing to say to this.  
> Joker: Just think about it, Yusuke.  
> Fox: ...I’d rather not.

_May 22nd 2017_

_7:39 pm_

 

**Meme Team**

 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has added_ **_Yusuke Kitagawa_ ** _to the chat~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Yusuke Kitagawa_ ** _’s name to_ **_Fox_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** Welcome to the discourse.

 **Joker:** You’re officially one of us.

 **Fox:** What is this…?

 **Joker:** It’s a groupchat. Kind of like the official Phantom Chat™ except..not.

 **Fox:** I am aware of the fact that this is a group chat. I mean… why. We already have one group chat?

 **Joker:** Long story short we were using the original phantom chat for non phantom thief shit. Mona got annoyed and thus, this was born. It’s usage is purely for non phantom thief shit.

 **Fox:** I see…

 **Skull:** u missed our peep and the big wide world discussion. akira was offended that he didnt get to watch peep w me and ann

 **Fox:** I am not aware of what that is.

 **Fox:** What is “Peep and the Big Wide World”?

 **Joker:** Gasp

 **Skull:** it’s a kids show dude

 **Skull:** about two birds and a duck who just...explore the world i guess.

 **Skull:** the main character peep is kinda lame but as far as kids shows go it gr8

 **Joker:** Get out of here with your 2016 memes

 **Skull:** square up m8

 **Joker:** I will fight you.

 **Skull:** behind the ramen shop

 **Skull:** friday at 3pm exactly.

 **Joker:** You’re on.

 **Panther:** don’t worry, this is normal for them.

 **Fox:** Right…

 **Skull:** oh hey i have a question for ya yusuke

 **Fox:** What is it?

 **Skull:** are u a furry?

 **Panther:** RYUJI

 **Panther:** you can’t just straight up ask him like that!!!

 **Skull:** and why not?

 **Panther:** it just seems rude!

 **Fox:** What is a “furry”?

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** …

 **Skull:** u good dude?

 **Joker:** …

 **Panther:** akira??

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** …

 **Fox:** Did I say something wrong?

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** There is a god. I have seen him.

 **Fox:** What?

 **Joker:** My depression is cured, my skin is clear.

 **Panther:** that’s a little extra..

 **Joker:** My crops have been watered, life is worth living.

 **Skull:** dude…

 **Joker:** Yusuke doesn’t know what a furry is.

 **Panther:** akira, oh my god.

 **Fox:** Does anyone care to explain what exactly a “furry” is?

 **Joker:** Don’t worry about it bby just keep painting.

 **Fox:** Well okay then.

 **Panther:** akira that is very gay and very extra

 **Joker:** Two things which I very much am.

 **Joker:** Actually, that’s a lie.

 **Joker:** I am very bi and very extra.

 **Panther:** hey same

 **Joker:** B)

* * *

 

_May 23rd, 2017_

_9:27 pm_

**Meme Team**

 

 **Skull:** ok can we talk about that madarame fight

 **Skull:** yusuke no offense but that sucked and i am so glad that we kicked his ass

 **Fox:** None taken.

 **Fox:** I actually quite agree with you.

 **Panther:** how are you holding up, yusuke??

 **Fox:** I’m fine, thank you.

 **Joker:** Okay but can we talk about something Madarame said?

 **Skull:** what?? the dude with the black mask??

 **Joker:** No, not that, although that kind of concerns me.

 **Joker:** When he was transforming into that fuckin’,,,rejected picasso bullshit

 **Panther:** “rejected picasso bullshit”

 **Skull:** r e j e c t e d p i c a s s o b u l l s h i t

 **Fox:** Same.

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the chat name to_ **_Rejected Picasso Bullshit_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** Anyway

 **Joker:** He said, and I quote, “I’ll paint all over you.”

 **Panther:** yeah?? and??

 **Joker:** Was that a euphemism for something?

 **Skull:** IOSDHFKSDLKFSDIJLSDFKJL

 **Panther:** AKIRA

 **Joker:** I’m just saying.

 **Joker:** “Paint all over you” bitch with what. You are literally a floating ass collage of orifices. Are you going to spit on us or some shit?

 **Fox:**...I have nothing to say to this.

 **Joker:** Just think about it, Yusuke.

 **Fox:**...I’d rather not.

 **Panther:** akira go to bed

 **Joker:** Jfc you sound like Morgana.

 **Joker:**...He just hit me. Thanks, Mona.

 **Skull:** i mean,,,theyre both cats so…

 **Panther:** stop right there.

 **Skull:** just think about it ann

 **Panther:** no.

 **Skull:** wait

 **Skull:** ann

 **Skull:** are _you_ a furry?

 **Panther:** NO

 **Panther:** also aren’t furries typically portrayed as wolves and foxes?

 **Panther:** i’m not a dog

 **Joker:** Isn’t that called a neko?

 **Joker:** Or like, cat-girls or some shit?

 **Joker:** Ann looks like she could be straight out of neko para.

 **Panther:** AKIRA WTF

 **Joker:** I mean,,,she kind of looks like Coconut.

 **Joker:** Actually, scratch that. She looks more like Vanilla.

 **Skull:** dude

 **Joker:** What?

 **Skull:** how do u know so much abt neko para?

 **Joker:**...Don’t worry about it.

 **Skull:** akira

 **Joker:** No.

 **Skull:** u got urself into this situation

 **Joker:** I refuse

 **Skull:** answer the question furry

 **Joker:** I plead the fifth.

 **Fox:** And yet I still don’t know what a furry is…

 **Joker:** Don’t worry about it babe.

 **Panther:** Akira.

 **Joker:** I mean don’t worry about it Yusuke.

 **Skull:** yusuke is that really all you got from that conversation?

 **Joker:** Honestly I’m not surprised.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back  
> Back again  
> JN's back  
> Tell your friends.
> 
> Sorry at how long this took to update, school has been kicking my ass. In other news, I got the lead in the production being put on by the drama club this year and I am !!!!!!  
> But it might take longer to update because rehearsal and shit. Sorry guys.  
> !!!!Okay important!!!!  
> I have nothing against furries so if you are a furry, I mean no disrespect. You do you, my dudes.  
> Okay well, this is kind of short and I'm sorry. I was going to add more but I had no idea wtf else to do so...here's this monstrosity.  
> Enjoy this random mess because this is...going places. Enjoy this absolute mess.  
> Well, that's it for now.  
> Later nerds  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818
> 
> edit 12/30/17: I went back to edit some parts of this chapter and just realized literally half the chapter literally didn't post?? I am very salty about this um??? The title of the chapter literally doesn't make any sense without that tid bit why was that not there?


	4. ann your gay is showing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: Keyboard smashing isn’t going to get you out of this.  
> Panther: UGH

_June 5th, 2017_

_3:32 pm_

 

**Rejected Picasso Bullshit**

 

 **Joker:** Okay can someone please tell miss prez to fuck off. You seem nice enough, Makoto, but I don’t appreciate being stalked in the hallway.

 **Joker:** She’s backing the wrong side.

 **Skull:** she’s still followin u?

 **Skull:** damn she pisses me off

 **Joker:** I wouldn’t go that far with it. Yeah, it’s annoying to walk to the bathroom only to see the student council president following me down the hall like something out of a horror movie.

 **Joker:** You’re not going to find anything, Makoto. I’m not constructing an atomic bomb in the bathroom, I just need to pee.

 **Skull:** thot begone

 **Panther:** maybe, but i don’t like her. i can’t believe i’m saying this but i think i agree with ryuji here

 **Skull:**  exactly

 **Skull:** wait what do you mean by that?!

 **Fox:** I’m sorry, but who is Makoto?

 **Joker:** She’s the student council president at Shujin. Ever since the Kamoshida case she’s been following me around. She expects that I’m a Phantom Thief (she’s right) but she has no proof so she’s trying to get some dirt on me. Ever since Madarame she’s really been cracking down.

 **Fox:** That’s inconvenient..

 **Joker:** It really is.

 **Joker:** In other news, school is absolutely screwing me right now.

 **Skull:** same

 **Panther:** same

 **Fox:** Same.

 **Joker:** No, you don’t understand.

 **Joker:** Someone please explain to me how I’m in the top of my class because I don’t get it.

 **Joker:** School is fucking me over big time. Bent over the bed, face down, pinned to the mattress.

 **Joker:** Fucking ramming into me doggystyle. That’s how much school is fucking me over right now.

 **Joker:** When is summer vacation again?

 **Fox:** That was quite the description.

 **Skull:** dude

 **Skull:** sometimes i forget just how gay you really are

 **Skull:** and then you go and say shit like that

 **Joker:** Sometimes I forget at how gay I really am, and then I talk to this group chat.

 **Panther:** honestly i relate

 **Joker:** Speaking of gay…

 **Panther:** oh no

 **Joker:** Ann, how’s Shiho?

 **Panther:** really pretty and nice and kind and strong and so out of my league

 **Skull:** i just rolled my eyes really hard

 **Panther:** oh like you’re any different

 **Panther:** you couldn’t get a girl

 **Skull:** excuse me but yes i can

 **Panther:** can you though??

 **Skull:** hey akira you want to go out?

 **Joker:** Sorry, can’t. I’m holding out for someone else.

 **Panther:** point taken

 **Panther:** also akira isn't a girl

 **Joker:** Ann, seriously though. Just ask her out.

 **Panther:** bitch no

 **Joker:** bitch yes

 **Panther:** Ujksdnk,mvnvkl

 **Joker:** Keyboard smashing isn’t going to get you out of this.

 **Panther:** UGH

 **Joker:** Just ask her out. What’s the worst that could happen? She says no?

 **Panther:** She says no, things get awkward, she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore, I lose my best friend and the girl I have fallen for!!!

 **Skull:** ann that aint gonna happen

 **Fox:** Ann, if you truly love this girl, then you should take the chance. You don’t want to let this opportunity slip away. If you do, you’re going to regret it.

 **Skull:** holy hell that was poetic

 **Panther:** i know and i want to ask her out but i just get so nervous and anxious every time i try. i keep thinking about the worst case scenario and how it could go horribly horribly wrong. shiho was there for me when i needed someone to be there for me. she’s one of the very few constants in my life and i don’t ever want to lose that. if i do this, there’s the chance i’m going to lose her. i would rather be stuck being forever in love with her but as her best friend than not having her in my life at all.

 **Fox:** If she truly means this much to you, and if you mean this much to her, you’re not going to lose her.

 **Joker:** Ann, Shiho loves you just as much as you love her. Just go for it.

 **Panther:**...fine. i’ll do it.

 **Skull:** this is really gay

 **Panther:** this chat is really gay

 **Skull:** shit u rite

* * *

 

_June 7th, 2017_

_5:37 pm_

**Rejected Picasso Bullshit**

 

 **Panther:** ok you fucks i did it

 **Joker:** Did what?

 **Panther:** i asked out shiho

 **Skull:** and????

 **Joker:** Give details, you shit.

 **Panther:** ok children sit down and buckle up because momma’s telling a story

 **Joker:** Please don’t refer to yourself as “momma” ever again.

 **Skull:** uhh?????

 **Joker:** Ann, are you into that?

 **Panther:** NO

 **Panther:** LET ME TELL THE STORY

 **Skull:** then do it

 **Joker:** Tell the story already.

 **Panther:** ok, so this morning i texted shiho asking if she wanted to hang out after school. you know, get crepes and go for a walk in the park, that kind of thing. she agreed and we met in front of the crepe shop in shibuya after school. we got crepes and then went to inokashira park and she was looking beautiful as always

 **Panther:** we talked for a bit and then finally i asked her out and get this

 **Panther:** she looked at me, raised her eyebrow and said “aren’t we already on a date??”

 **Skull:** holy shit

 **Panther:** i know right???

 **Panther:** so long story short shiho is now my girlfriend and we’re going to destinyland this weekend

 **Panther:** so you fuckers better not call us to go on an expedition in mementos, because i’m not going to show up

 **Joker:** Just for that, I’m going to make sure we go into Mementos this weekend.

 **Panther:** akira if you do that i will hit you in the shin with a razor scooter

 **Joker:** Please no.

 **Panther:**  we’re not going into Mementos this weekend.

 **Joker:** Yes ma’am.

 **Fox:** Congratulations, Ann.

 **Panther:** ty!!

 **Panther:** i’m super happy right now. my face hurts from how much i’m smiling

 **Joker:** Ann that’s gay

 **Panther:** you’re gay

 **Joker:** [ yourite.gif ](http://infornicle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/youre-god-damn-right.gif)

* * *

 

_June 10th 2017_

_4:27 pm_

 

**Meme Team**

 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_AKECHI FUCK OFF_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** I will admit, his hair looks soft and he is rather pretty, but he needs to ROYALLY FUCK OFF

 **Panther:** he’s really not that attractive..

 **Panther:** maybe if he got a decent hair cut he would look better. you know, NOT A MULLET

 **Panther:** what is this, the 80s???? seriously his hair is disgusting

 **Fox:** I agree. His hair really ruins the aesthetic.

 **Joker:** You heard the man.

 **Joker:** Art ho has spoken.

 **Fox:** “Art ho”??

 **Joker:** Don worry about it bb

 **Fox:** Okay..?

 **Skull:** akechi can choke on a dick

 **Joker:** That’s how I want to go out.

 **Joker:** Choking on a nice long dick mmmMmm

 **Skull:** dude wtf

 **Panther:** AKIRA WHY

 **Fox:** That doesn’t seem like the ideal way to go out.

 **Joker:** Why? I have a dick in my mouth and I get to die. Seems like a win-win situation here.

 **Fox:** Wouldn’t you want to wait until after? Choking tends to be a rather long and semi-painful way to go out. Having the oxygen flow cut off tends to make you pass out before it actually kills you, and it seems like it would take way too long and would be too painful.

 **Fox:** I’d rather die _after_ all is said and done.

 **Joker:**...shit you right.

 **Joker:** Change of plans. I’ll suck the guy off _then_ I’ll kill myself.

 **Joker:** I’ll probably just stab myself afterwards. If I stab myself in the heart then it’ll be a fast death.

 **Panther:** wtf did i just read

 **Skull:** i dont know how to feel about this

 **Joker:** Anyways, yeah. Akechi sucks ass and needs a haircut.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo fuckers I'm back with a new chapter.  
> This is shitty and I'm probably the only one who finds it funny.  
> In other news, I wrote this instead of doing my chemistry homework. You know, homework I really need to do because the term closes in two days and I'm one point away from having a B+ in that class.  
> In procrastinating homework I got something done so I guess that's a bonus.  
> School is really kicking my ass right now and I have so much going on so chapters from here on out are probably going to be sporadic and will have long delays in between them, and I'm sorry in advance. But you see, I have a robotics course I take after school on mondays and wednesdays, tuesdays-thursdays I have rehearsal, and I usually have a shit ton of homework, and at the moment school is my top priority. I have a lot on my plate, so I'm sorry for any delays. Things should get a lot less busy around december, hopefully.  
> I think that's it for now.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818


	5. akira, your gay is showing (thot begone)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: So  
> Panther: so..  
> Skull: so  
> Fox: So.  
> Joker: What have we learned from this experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> actual story line in non-text format

_June 11th 2017_

_12:30 am_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Ann Takamaki**

 

 **AK:** Ann.

 **AK:** Ann, we have a problem.

 **AT:** and that is..?

 **AK:** Yusuke is really pretty.

 **AK:** I mean _really_ pretty.

 **AT:** akira i swear

 **AT:** i already know you think he’s pretty

 **AT:** we all think he’s pretty

 **AT:** he’s a pretty boy

 **AK:** His hair looks really soft.

 **AK:** Do you think he dyes it?

 **AT:** what?

 **AK:** The Sayuri was painted by his mom, right? It was a self portrait? So I think it’s safe to assume that the baby is supposed to be Yusuke right?

 **AT:** yeah..?

 **AK:** Ann.

 **AK:** The baby has black hair.

 **AK:** I think his hair might be naturally black.

 **AT:** his hair could have changed color as he got older?? when i was little my hair was more of a dirty, brown-blonde and now it’s,,,blonde.

 **AK:** Ann. How many people do you know who have naturally blue hair.

 **AT:** ok, so ask him if he dyes it

 **AK:** Ann, no. That will come off as weird and maybe kind of rude.

 **AT:** then don’t ask him.

 **AK:** How much hair dye do you think it takes to dye it?

 **AK:** Does he have to bleach it before hand?

 **AK:** How often does he dye his hair? Does he dye it at all?

 **AT:** i don’t know!! why are you telling me all of this??

 **AK:** I can’t talk to Ryuji about this because he won’t understand, and he might be slightly creeped out if I start ranting to him about how pretty Yusuke is, I can’t talk to Yusuke for obvious reasons, and Morgana is getting tired of listening to me talk about him.

 **AT:** so me..

 **AK:** If it makes you feel better, out of all of us you’re probably the best in this kind of thing.

 **AT:** thanks

 **AT:** i think

 **AK:** Anyways, that’s about it. Morgana is yelling at me to go to bed.

 **AT:** well ok then

 **AT:** why are you awake at this time anyways?

 **AK:** I was helping out a politician and Shibuya and got home pretty late.

 **AK:** The better question is why are you awake?

 **AT:** i was doing homework.

 **AK:** Understandable, have a nice day.

 **AK:** Okay I really gotta go now. Morgana is threatening to take my phone away. He won’t even let me check on my plant, which is really dumb.

 **AT:** what the hell??

 **AK:** Well anyways, goodnight.

 **AT:** goodnight

* * *

 

_June 11th 2017_

_11:48 am_

 

**AKECHI FUCK OFF**

 

 **Panther:** hey we’re still meeting in shibuya today, right??? at the station square?

 **Skull:** yup. i just got to the train station

 **Joker:** I’m about to leave. Where are you guys?

 **Fox:** I’m leaving now. Hopefully I’ll be there soon.

 **Panther:** ok, cool. i just got off the train so i’ll see you guys soon!

* * *

 

_June 11th 2017_

_10:24 pm_

 

**Ann Takamaki → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **AT:** so

 **AK:** So??

 **AT:** what’s it like having yusuke as a roommate?

 **AK:** Honestly this sounds like something straight out of a porno.

 **AT:** normally i would yell at you but honestly you’re right

 **AK:** Do you think I can get him to suck my dick??

 **AT:** ok that’s where i draw the line.

 **AK:** Will he let me suck his dick?? Because I’m down.

 **AT:** please stop

 **AK:** If we start making out I’ll let you know.

 **AT:** i stg you’re so gay

 **AT:** oh hey, question

 **AT:** you don’t have to answer if you don’t want. i’m just curious.

 **AK:** Okay.

 **AT:** do you actually have a crush on yusuke or???

 **AK:** I don’t think so?

 **AK:** Don’t get me wrong, he’s really pretty and I care about him a lot, and if I’m being totally honest here if he wanted a fuck buddy or something I’d be down, but I don’t think it’s really a crush? I think it’s more of that he is very visually appealing and I can see myself being attracted to him, but I’m just not really that interested.

 **AK:** I guess it’s kind of more “lust” than anything. I haven’t really thought too much about it.

 **AT:** oh ok. that makes sense. i was just kind of wondering.

 **AK:** Okay, cool.

* * *

 

_June 13th 2017_

_3:32 pm_

 

Akira shouldered his bag as the bell rang, signalling the end of the school day. The Phantom Thieves were planning on meeting at the hideout at the underground walkway in Shibuya today, to discuss where to go from there. Madarame had confessed to all of his crimes and they needed a new target. As far as Akira knew, they were going to bounce ideas off of each other, maybe explore Mementos a bit, maybe do a little research on potential targets.

“We should go directly to the hideout from here.” Morgana said from inside Akira’s bag.

Akira nodded in agreement. He started towards the door of his classroom, only to be stopped by Kawakami.

Morgana ducked back into the bag as soon as she approached. “Kurusu, Niijima-san wants to see you in the student council room.” Kawakami said, exasperated.

Akira felt Morgana tense from inside the bag. “What does she want?” He cautiously asked. Makoto had been stalking Akira since the Kamoshida case, and it had only gotten worse since Madarame. She hadn’t been able to dig up anything on him yet, what did she want?

Kawakami shook her head. “She didn’t say. Just go see her.” On that note, she stalked off, muttering something along the lines of “why me?” and “why am I doing tasks for a student?” as well as “I know she’s the principal’s favorite, but still..”

Morgana poked his head out and sighed. “Better go see what she wants?”

“Can’t we just, I don’t know, ignore her and sneak out?” Akira asked. He really didn’t want to deal with her shit today. “That seems much easier than actually confronting her.”

The cat lightly batted at Akira’s head with his paw. “Listen, I don’t want to do this any more than you do, but we can’t avoid her forever. It’s best just to face it now. Putting it off is only going to make it worse. Besides, you can’t run from your problems.”

Akira made a finger gun at him, which probably looked weird to the passing students. “That’s where you’re wrong. I can and will continue to run from my problems. I’ll run so far that they can’t catch me anymore?”

“You mean like your gay thoughts? I don’t think so.”

“Touche, Morgana. Touche.”

“Come on. Let’s go see what she wants.”

* * *

 

_June 13th 2017_

_3:34 pm_

 

“Earlier than expected.”

Makoto sat in front of a table with her hands clasped together and her ankles crossed. She looked up as soon as the door opened. “Thank you for coming. Please, have a seat.” She indicated the seat in front of her.

 _Not like I had a choice._ Akira thought. He shut the door behind him and sat in the seat adjacent to Makoto.

“I’ll get straight to the point,” She said. Something gleamed in her bright red eyes, as if she knew something he didn’t. Judging from what he had seen from her so far, she probably did. Why else would he have been called up here? “Mister Kamoshida and Madarame. Won’t you tell me the truth behind the Phantom Thieves’ incidents?”

Of course that was why she had called him here. Akira set his bag down on the seat next to him and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He said nothing in response.

Makoto took that as a sign to keep going. “Can’t answer that? Ah, of course. There’s no way you would admit to such things.”

_Admit to?_

“Makoto, what are you going on about? I don’t know anything about either of those cases.” He responded cooly. The lies slipped off his tongue naturally, in the same way someone was able to breathe.

Her expression was unreadable. “Have a listen.” She stated. She produced her phone from the waistband of her skirt and set it on the table, pressing play.

Immediately, a familiar voice came through the speakers of her phone, loud and clear. “ _If someone else could help ‘em, we wouldn’t be doin’ stuff as the Phantom Thieves to start with!”_

 _Ryuji_ … Akira thought. He mentally. Next time he saw Ryuji, he was going to kick his ass.

 _“So you think it’s true…? We’ll be okay if we keep doing this, right…?”_ Another voice. This one more high pitched and feminine. Ann’s voice.

Makoto tapped her long, blue-painted fingernails on the table. “What does all of this mean?”

It wasn’t a question, but a statement. Akira wanted to repeatedly bang his head on the table until he forgot his own name.

“We screwed up!” Morgana stage-whispered. He was right. They really did screw up this time.

Makoto continued on. “Was it blackmail? Hypnosis? How do you corner someone into making them confess?” Her voice was harder, more stern. Like ice. Her eyebrows pushed together and her face morphed into an expression that portrayed pure anger. Her red eyes shown with rage.

“Won’t you tell me how you did it?”

Akira racked his head for any reasonable response. Anything, anything at all! Anything to get him out of this situation scot-free! Was there a way?

“Ask the culprits.” He replied. _Shit._  Was he throwing Ryuji and Ann under the bus? Maybe. However, if he remembered clearly, which he did, she had taken pictures of them when they were having that conversation. She had photographic evidence that he was there and involved with the conversation they had in the courtyard.

Makoto chuckled without humor. “You want to say that this doesn’t prove anything, don’t you.” Once again, not a question but a statement. And once again, she was right. He truly did want to say that she had no evidence and her recording was fake. “Now, what would the police think if they heard my recording?”

 _Oh fuck._ The thought of repeatedly ramming through his heart with his metaverse knife was starting to sound much more appealing to Akira with each and every second that ticked by.

“It’d be bad if we’re put under police surveillance.” Morgana hissed. “There’s no telling what will happen to you, too!”

Makoto brushed her hair behind her ear with ease. “If you confess the truth, I don’t mind just leaving this between the two of us. You’ll tell me, won’t you?”

Fat chance. He wouldn’t sell out his teammates in a million years. They were his friends and his allies. He would never betray them like that. Well, then again, they kind of just sold out themselves. “I have a right to remain silent.” Akira said. His heart thumped against his ribcage. Part of him was tempted to yell the words “PLEAD THE FIFTH” and bolt out of the school, screeching like a banshee the entire way. That probably wasn’t the best option, but it was still an option nonetheless.

Makoto’s mouth turned into a hard frown. “That’s the same as admitting to it, you know.” She did have a point.

At that exact moment, as if on cue, Akira’s phone rang. Makoto signalled for him to pick it up. “Go ahead.”

Making eye contact with her the entire time, Akira answered his phone. It was Ryuji...what perfect timing.

 _“Hey, where you at? Takin’ a leak? Let’s meet up at the usual spot to hold our Phantom Thieves meetin’!”_ He practically yelled. Akira prayed that Makoto wasn’t able to hear.

Apparently God really hated him, however, because that was not the case. She was able to hear everything Ryuji said clear as day. “As loud as always… But his timing is perfect. I’d like everyone else to hear this as well. Won’t you take me to your friends?”

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK._

He didn’t have a choice. Admitting his defeat, he nodded slowly and stood up. He could only hope for the best.

* * *

 

_June 13th 2017_

_3:43 pm_

 

“Oh…”

“Hmm? He here?”

“Is that girl a friend of yours?”

The voices of Akira’s friends became clearer with each step. He dreaded the moment his teammates--no, his friends-- found out that they were discovered. Found out that someone had figured them out, and that there was a very high chance they could be put in jail. Part of him wanted to turn and run.

No, he couldn’t do that. He was the leader and he had to protect his team. They were in too deep. They were in it together.

Looks of horror and astonishment dawned on both Ann and Ryuji’s faces as they saw Makoto.

Yusuke, on the other hand, had sort of a child-like wonder to his expression. Large, dark eyes opened curiously, pure innocence radiating off of his being. Just his expression made Akira feel worse about the situation.

“Wha-What the _hell?!_ ” Ryuji stammered.

Ann made a deep, throaty noise, like a growl. “What’s the meaning of this?”

Akira sighed. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Makoto. “I had him lead me here.” She scanned everyone’s faces, as if attempting to memorize every detail. She announced their names one by one. “Ryuji Sakamoto, Ann Takamaki…” She stopped on Yusuke. “And you’re Kitagawa-kun, correct? Second year at Kosei High and former pupil of Madarame?”

Yusuke leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, saying nothing.

Makoto continued on. “I wanted to ask you all about this.” Once again, she removed her phone from the waistband of her skirt and pressed play. Her audio recording started up once again.

The reactions from everyone made Akira’s stomach sink. Ann looked like she was about to throw up, she was so taken aback. Flashes of guilt and anger made their way across both hers and Ryuji’s faces.

Yusuke was a bit harder to read. He was, for the most part, very laid back and relaxed, almost _too_ relaxed. However, when he talked about art… To put it bluntly, he either had no chill or too much chill. There was no in between with him. On the other hand, in this case, Akira was able to make out the bit of frustration welling up inside him. Akira couldn’t blame him, he was frustrated too. Frustrated and guilty and just upset about the entire situation.

As soon as the audio recording ended, Makoto spoke again. “An extremely similar technique was used for both Kamoshida and Madarame, while those affected by their acts were just coincidentally meeting up.” She shook her head. “How could that _not_ raise suspicions?”

The Phantom Thieves looked back and forth from one another, trying to decide what to do or say. Eventually, Yusuke spoke up. Sighing, he said “What do you intend to do? Have you come just to say you’re going to report us?” He sounded tired, exhausted. He sounded exactly how Akira felt.

Ann stepped in once more. “I bet someone _told_ you to find us. The school can’t have ties to criminals, after all.” Venom soak her tone, dripping from each and every syllable. “And yet they turn a blind eye when it comes to suicide and sexual harassment. Those adults are just using you. I feel sorry for you.”

Makoto made a noise, like air slipping through her teeth. “...I...I know..”

Ann widened her eyes in surprise. “Huh?”

“That’s why I would like to verify the justice you speak of.” The student council president’s hands closed into fists at her sides. “I’m the only one who knows about you. If you prove what you’re doing is just, I’ll erase this.” She inhaled slowly and then continued. “There is someone whose heart I’d like you to chance.”

Yusuke uncrossed his arms and effortlessly raised a dark eyebrow. “Who?”

“Hmm, so you’re not saying it’s impossible,” the girl deducted. “However…” And there it was. There was always a catch. “I cannot tell you that just yet. Let’s continue our talk after school tomorrow, on the roof… Assuming you accept my offer, that is.” With that statement, she gave one last look at everyone and marched off, leaving them only to dwell on what had just gone down.

* * *

 

_June 13th 2017_

_5:09 pm_

 

**AKECHI FUCK OFF**

 

 **Joker:** So

 **Panther:** so..

 **Skull:** so

 **Fox:** So.

 **Joker:** What have we learned from this experience.

 **Joker:** Yes Ryuji, yes Ann, this is in fact directed at you. Yusuke, you’re fine but you should listen anyway.

 **Fox:** I’m afraid I cannot do that. This is a text conversation so it would be impossible to listen.

 **Skull:** not if u have text to speech enabled

 **Fox:** Touche.

 **Joker:** Guys. Getting distracted. Let your leader discipline you fucks.

 **Skull:** i was going to make a joke but somehow i dont think it will be appreciayted at this time

 **Joker:** You’re right, it won’t be appreciated at this time.

 **Skull:** shit hes pissed

 **Panther:** i’m really sorry akira

 **Panther:** not just to akira, but to all of you. i’m so sorry and never meant to put us in danger.

 **Joker:** I know that you’re sorry, but the damage has been done.

 **Joker:** What do you have to say for yourself, Ryuji.

 **Skull:** whyre u singling me out?!

 **Joker:** Because you’re the one who stated that we were phantom thieves.

 **Joker:** You said, quote “If someone else could help them we wouldn’t be doing stuff as the _phantom thieves_ to start with!”

 **Skull:** aight aight im sorry ok

 **Fox:** You acted recklessly and because of that we were found out.

 **Skull:** yeah yeah

 **Skull:** look im sorry ok

 **Joker:** Guys. The damage is done. All we can do at this point is wait and see what Makoto wants from us.

 **Panther:** yeah..

 **Panther:** she wants us to change the heart of a mafia boss??

 **Fox:** We’re going to need a name in order to do that.

 **Joker:** I guess we’ll just have to wait until tomorrow to find out more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? I actually got my shit together and posted a chapter less than two weeks after the last one was posted?? And this one contains actual plot??? And is not entirely written in text format????  
> Yeah. Even after everything I have going on I spent about four days really writing this and trying to make a decent chapter. This chapter was mostly plot and furthering along the phantom thieves' story line. I promise, next chapter will have more "comedy" (??? My sense of humor isn't that funny).  
> I can't promise that every chapter will be written this quickly. I have a ton of shit going on, as I've mentioned before, and I have no idea where to go from here? The inspiration for my chapters comes from the persona 5 journal that I promised my friend I would write in whenever I save while playing (long story, maybe some other time I'll tell it.), so I've just been flipping through that and writing based off of what happened at a specific time in the game.  
> Side note: The hair dye conversation between Ann and Akira?? That was actually based off of a real conversation I had with one of my friends. They randomly texted me asking if Yusuke dyes his hair and I originally said no, but then I realized that the baby in the Sayuri has black hair and it has been implied if not confirmed that the child in the painting is supposed to be him. There's your random fact of the day, I guess.  
> That's it for now!  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818


	6. two bisexuals a heterosexual and an ace walk into a bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: Just accept it, Ant.  
> Panther: absolutely not

_June 14th 2017_

_3:51 pm_

 

**AKECHI FUCK OFF**

 

 **Joker:** Alright, let’s recap what just happened.

 **Joker:** You know, for Yusuke’s sake.

 **Fox:** Thank you.

 **Fox:** Even though we did go over it in the main Phantom chatroom..

 **Joker:** It’s convenient this way.

 **Fox:** I suppose so. Thank you.

 **Joker:** Anytime boo.

 **Joker:** Okay. Here’s what went down:

 **Joker:** After school, Ann, Ryuji and I waited on the rooftop for Makoto.

 **Panther:** makoto showed up and told us about the target she wanted us to take down

 **Skull:** she didnt give us a name tho

 **Fox:** Right.

 **Joker:** All we know is that this guy’s a mafia boss, and he apparently controls Shibuya.

 **Panther:** this guy has been targeting minors, and a lot of kids at shujin have been targeted.

 **Skull:** from what we know the way he targets em is by askin if they want an easy part time job

 **Joker:** Makoto gave us two weeks to change his heart, and if we don’t then she’ll turn us in.

 **Fox:** So basically we’re being blackmailed to change the heart of someone we have absolutely no information about in an unreasonable amount of time, and if we don’t then we’ll be arrested.

 **Skull:** pretty much

 **Joker:** Okay. So we need to get information. Ann, you said there were some girls you could talk to about this?

 **Ann:** yep!

 **Skull:** i aint as good as this kinda thing as mishima or somethin but i can check online and see if i can find anything

 **Joker:** Perfect.

 **Fox:** I can ask around Kosei and see what I can find.

 **Joker:** Thank you, Yusuke.

 **Joker:** So I guess that leaves Shujin to me.

 **Skull:** yea

 **Skull:** actually theres somethin u should prolly know if ur gonna check shujin

 **Joker:** Yeah??

 **Skull:** theres this kid named lida whos apparently been spendin a shit ton of money lately

 **Skull:** he was talkin about this new part time job he has. hes in ur class so u can probably talk to him and try to get some info

 **Joker:** Awesome.

 **Joker:** Ann, can you help me with this? Somehow I don’t think he’ll be too eager to talk to me about what could potentially be a life-or-death situation. You know, criminal record and everything?

 **Panther:** oh, right..

 **Panther:** why me though??

 **Joker:** First of all, Ryuji is known as the school delinquent. Second off, you’re in my class. Thirdly, he’d probably be a little less on-edge if he were to talk to a woman rather than a man.

 **Joker:** Also Yusuke goes to a different school so he can’t help. Sorry, Yusuke.

 **Fox:** It’s quite alright.

 **Joker:** Please, Ann??

 **Panther:** fine

 **Joker:** Thank you. I owe you.

 **Panther:** yep

 **Joker:** Anyways, I currently Hate life.

 **Panther:** current mood

 **Skull:** same

 **Fox:** Same.

 **Skull:** yusuke???

 **Fox:** Yes?

 **Skull:** oh uh..nevermind. just a little surprised i guess

 **Skull:** yusukes the last person i woulda expected that from

 **Joker:** Same.

 **Fox:** Life is meaningless and eventually we all die.

 **Skull:** shit dude thats deep

 **Panther:** …

 **Joker:** Okay listen. I did not ask for an existential crisis today Yusuke.

 **Skull:** dude r u ok

 **Fox:** I believe so?

 **Panther:** … yusuke, just how much time have you been spending with akira lately??

 **Joker:** Not enough.

 **Fox:** Outside of meetings? Not often.

 **Fox:** We’ve only met up once or twice.

 **Joker:** n o t e n o u g h t

 **Panther:** too much time, if you ask me

 **Joker:** Ann. Hush.

 **Panther:** make me

 **Skull:** thats kinky

 **Panther:** JKFJKLSDFLKJZKLDFKLFJD

 **Joker:**...Ann….are you into that?

 **Panther:** NO

 **Panther:** what are _you_ into akira

 **Joker:** Choking.

 **Panther:** oh

 **Skull:** o h

 **Panther:** i was… not expecting a serious answer

 **Joker:** Specifically with a long, thick rope.

 **Joker:** Mmm yes daddy just wrap that around my neck and hang me from the roof I long for the sweet sweet embrace of death.

 **Skull:** [ edgy.png ](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/520/691/c9a.png)

**Panther:** i take it back

 **Panther:** that was not serious

 **Panther:** what was i expecting

 **Joker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

* * *

 

_June 15th, 2017_

_5:09 pm_

 

**AKECHI FUCK OFF**

 

 ** _~Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Thot Begone_ ** _~_

 **Skull:** wats with the new chat name?

 **Joker:** Makoto was irritating me so I decided to be passive aggressive towards her.

 **Joker:** She’s never going to see it but she’s still annoying.

 **Skull:** wat did she do??

 **Joker:** Nothing, really. She was following me in the hallway again when I was going to the library to talk to Lida and noticed her following me. She’s not subtle in the slightest.

 **Skull:** wat happened with that btw?

 **Joker:** Well.

 **Joker:** Once again, we got to see Ann’s World Class Acting™

 **Joker:** You can’t see it, but Ann just hit me. Thanks Ann.

 **Joker:** Long story short, Linda confirmed what we already knew. He’s a victim of this guy.

 **Skull:** “linda”

 **Joker:** I think that name suits him better.

 **Joker:** Anyway Lidia also confirmed that the part time job is drug trafficking. Basically he had to deliver a package to a location, the mafia got pictures, the package was drugs and now they’re blackmailing him. If he doesn’t pay them, they’re going to continue to threaten him.

 **Joker:** Poor Liza Koshy..

 **Skull:** DUDE

 **Skull:** first, that’s fucked. no one should ever have to go through this shit

 **Joker:** You said it.

 **Skull:** second

 **Skull:** lidia??

 **Skull:** liza koshy??

 **Skull:** isnt she a youtuber or some shit??

 **Joker:** Youtuber and actor, I believe. I don’t really watch her videos.

 **Joker:** Fine, fine, I won’t call him Lidia or Liza Koshy.

 **Joker:** In all seriousness, we _have_ to do something about this. Not just because Makoto is blackmailing us, but serious people are in danger here.

 **Joker:** Don’t get me wrong, Kamoshida was bad. He was an absolute piece of shit and deserves to rot in prison for what he did. But with Kamoshida, at least his victims still had a chance.

 **Joker:** Madarame ruined lives but not in the same way this fucker is. Madarame took away any chance his pupils ever had of creating a name for themselves and fucking used them. He ripped away anything and everything art related and more. He was a fucking scumbag. He ruined lives, but… You might hate me for saying this, but he didn’t force his pupil to commit suicide. He drove his pupil to suicide, yes, but he didn’t force him to end his life.

 **Joker:** The fucker we’re dealing with now? We’re dealing with something else entirely. This asshole targets minors and bleeds them of everything they have. This is just absolutely fucked.

 **Joker:** If this guy has a palace, which he most likely does judging from what we’ve seen, I’m afraid to see what it looks like.

 **Skull:** i hear ya man

 **Skull:** tbh im not too happy about bein blackmailed by miss prez but i dont think any of us are

 **Skull:** but we do have to do this. not just bc makoto told us to but because its the right thing to do

 **Joker:** Exactly.

 **Joker:** We have to do this.

 **Joker:** For Lisa Simpson and all of the other victims.

 **Skull:** AJSDIOSKDNMFKJSDKJ

 **Skull:** LISA SIMPSON

 **Joker:** Sorry. I know this was supposed to be a serious moment but I couldn’t help it.

 **Skull:** that is one way to kill the vibe

 **Joker:** Okay okay time to be serious again.

 **Joker:** Actually, wait.

 **Joker:** One more?

 **Skull:** fine

 **Joker:** Lizzie Mcguire

 **Skull:** OIJWEFJLKKLJD WTF

 **Joker:** I’m done.

 **Joker:** Wait.

 **Joker:** Lily Collins.

 **Joker:** Lame ass NPC.

 **Joker:** Okay for real this time, I’m done.

 **Skull:** LAME ASS NPC

 **Skull:** IM LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD HOLY SHIT

 **Skull:** my mom just walked in to check on me bc i was laughing so hard

 **Joker:** I couldn’t help it. This is supposed to be serious but how can I not make fun of this guy’s name?

 **Joker:** Seriously, his name is Lida. How can I not fuck with that.

 **Skull:** i mean technically u could fuck with any name

 **Joker:** Oh yeah? Fuck with my name then.

 **Skull:** africa kangaroo

 **Joker:** Ok Ryobi SocialMotorBoat

 **Skull:** kjashdkjakjkjasdjjk

 **Panther:** wtf did i just come back to

 **Skull:** oh hey ann

 **Joker:** Ant Tamagotchi.

 **Panther:** no

 **Joker:** Just accept it, Ant.

 **Panther:** absolutely not

 **Skull:** wait werent u just with each other?

 **Panther:** yeah. we left school and walked to the station together but we went our separate ways after

 **Skull:** oh

 **Panther:** wait what about yusuke?

 **Fox:** What?

 **Skull:** HOLY SHIT DUDE WHen did you get here

 **Fox:** Just now.

 **Joker:** I think you summoned him.

 **Joker:** Also Yusuke doesn’t need a bad interpretation of his name he’s perfect the way he is.

 **Panther:** that’s gay

 **Joker:** You’re gay.

 **Panther:** got me there

 **Skull:** yugio kitwater

 **Joker:** UHDHFJKLDSKJ

 **Fox:** I don’t understand..?

 **Joker:** Don’t worry about it just keep painting.

 **Fox:** Okay…?

 **Joker:** Anyways, now that we’re all here, tomorrow we’re going to have to check around Shibuya. Lindsay said that if we want to find these guys to check along central street.

 **Panther:** “lindsay”

 **Joker:** Ant, hush, I was talking.

 **Fox:** This is a text conversation.

 **Skull:** ya got fucking told africa

 **Joker:** Shut the fuck up Ryobi.

 **Fox:** I still do not understand these nicknames.

 **Panther:** it’s ok yugio, you don’t need to understand

 **Joker:** We are not calling my baby Yugio, okay?

 **Panther:** yugio kitwater

 **Skull:** yugio kitwater

 **Fox:**...

 **Fox:**...Yugio Kitwater?

 **Joker:** I am going to kick all of you out of the Phantom Thieves.

 **Joker:** It will just be Morgana, Yugio and I.

 **Joker:** WAIT FUCK

 **Skull:** LKJSFDKJDFKJ

 **Panther:** I SPOT A HYPOCRITE

 **Fox:** I am… not even going to question what is happening at this point.

 **Joker:** SHUT UP IT SLIPPED

 **Skull:** AFRICAS A FUCKIN HYPOCRITE

 **Joker:** SHUT UP NO IM NOT

 **Joker:** IM YOUR LEADER I OUT RANK YOU FUCK OFF

 **Panther:** it’s times like this when i wish i was admin

 **Fox:** Why?

 **Panther:** so i could change the chat name

 **Fox:** What would you change it to?

 **Panther:** “akira’s a hypocrite”

 **Panther:** or something along those lines

 **Panther:** maybe i’d just kick akira out who knows

 **Joker:** Ann I swear

 **Panther:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Joker:** ಠ_ಠ

 **Panther:** (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

 **Panther:** ^ me and ryobi socialmotorboat when we catch @africa kangaroo being a little bitch

 **Joker:** ANN I SWEAR TO GOD

 **Joker:** I AM SO DONE WITH THIS CHAT UGH

 **Joker:** I’m going to go see Mishima I’m done with all of you bye.

 **Fox:** What… just happened?

 **Skull:** gods work, yugio. gods work just happened

 **Fox:** Okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHA GUESS WHO WROTE THIS INSTEAD OF DOING CHEMISTRY HOMEWORK AGAIN  
> YEP IT'S ME  
> HAHAHA SCHOOL IS KICKING MY ASS BUT IT'S OKAY BECAUSE HERE'S SOME DUMB HUMOR FOR YOU FUCKS.  
> Okay in all seriousness, thank you guys so much for the overwhelming support this has gotten?? In just four chapters I have gotten so much support and you guys are just so sweet and ugh you really know how to make a stressed out high schooler feel great thank you guys so much for all the kind words and comments, and for all the kudos and bookmarks. I normally have no motivation to write anything but your kind words have kept me going and given me motivation I haven't had in such a long time, so thank you guys for giving me the motivation to keep writing. You guys don't understand how much my writing means to me. One day I really want to be an author--that's been my dream since I was a little kid--and I'm constantly faced with all this self doubt about my work, but you guys have been here to let me know that you're actually enjoying this shitty little fanfic I randomly threw together one day because I saw others doing it and thought I could give it a try.  
> Ugh, okay, that's enough sappiness and shit, ew feelings get that away from me. Anyways, you guys should totally check out the two fanfics that inspired me to write this?? I'll leave the links under this giant ass paragraph.  
> I think that's it for now.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818
> 
> Inspiration:
> 
> two phantom thieves on the moon by mellofricker: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10899048/chapters/24228594  
> "i face god and walk backwards into hell" by cherrykirsch: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11821443/chapters/26674950


	7. yusuke is a savage and ryuji dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panther: yusuke is fucking ruthless.  
> Panther: akira is going to be sorry he missed this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are actual written scenes and not just text format in this chapter. I didn't proofread it so it's kind of choppy. Sorry about that.

_June 16th 2017_

_5:59 pm_

 

**Thot Begone**

 

 **Joker:** Subtle: (adj)

(especially of a change or distinction) so delicate or precise as to be difficult to analyze or describe

 **Panther:** akira wth??

 **Joker:** Makoto: (proper noun)  
One who apparently does not know how to be subtle in the slightest

 **Joker:** MAKOTO. YOU NEED TO BE _SUBTLE._ STRAIGHT UP ASKING THESE FUCKERS ABOUT THEIR BOSS IS NOT _SUBTLE._

 **Skull:** dude wtf?

 **Joker:** I told you guys what happened, right? While searching around central street, I “ran” into Makoto in the alleyway by Protein Lovers’.

 **Joker:** “Ran” meaning she was stalking me, but what else is new.

 **Joker:** Anyways, we “ran” into each other and she started to grill me for answers that I didn’t have. Then, low and behold, some shady-ass motherfucker in a hawaiian shirt came up to us and asked if we wanted an easy part time job.

 **Joker:** Makoto started asking questions, trying to be “subtle.”

 **Joker:** However, I don’t think Makoto knows the definition of the word subtle, because this guy saw right through her and that was that.

 **Joker:** What the _fuck_ Makoto?!

 **Joker:** Anyways, we’re meeting up at Karaoke tomorrow, right?

 **Fox:** I believe so.

 **Joker:** Are any of you going to sing? I volunteer Ryuji.

 **Skull:** hell no

 **Joker:** Ann?

 **Panther:** no?

 **Joker:** Yusuke???

 **Fox:** I’ll pass.

 **Joker:** Damn.

 **Panther:** are you going to sing, akira?

 **Joker:** Nah.

 **Panther:** well ok then

 **Joker:** I still think Ryuji should sing.

 **Skull:** eff that

 **Skull:** id rather suffer a mental shutdown than sing at karaoke

 **Joker:** Same.

 **Joker:** Although I don’t really think it’s possible?

 **Skull:** wdym

 **Joker:** A mental shutdown occurs when a person’s shadow is killed. If we were to have killed Madarame’s shadow in his palace he would have suffered a mental shutdown. Had we killed Shadow Kamoshida he would have suffered a mental shutdown. Had we killed the shadow of anyone of our targets in Mementos they would have suffered a mental shutdown.

 **Skull:** k and??

 **Joker:** Morgana said that persona users can’t have palaces. For whatever reason, persona users just… cannot form palaces. Going off of that logic, it’s highly unlikely we’ll find a distorted version of ourselves in Mementos. We cannot suffer mental shutdowns or psychotic breakdowns.

 **Skull:** o

 **Joker:** Morgana said you’re a moron.

 **Skull:** tell the cat im gonna kick his ass

 **Joker:** Morgana says “I’m not a cat! Tell that idiot I’m going to destroy him!”

 **Panther:** both of you, stop. we have serious issues we need to talk about here

 **Joker:** Yeah. Like why Ann hasn’t told us anything about Shiho since they got together.

 **Joker:** ~~Or why Yusuke hasn’t realized that I’m seriously flirting with him.~~

 **Panther:** akira heel

 **Joker:** Yes ma’am.

 **Panther:** down, boy

 **Joker:** Sorry.

 **Skull:** thats kinky???

 **Joker:** WIEHKHLFLKH4

 **Panther:** UM NO

 **Panther:** I’D CUT OFF MY OWN HAND WITH A RUSTY SAW BEFORE THAT HAPPENED

 **Joker:** Okay, ow.

 **Joker:** I wouldn’t go that far with it.

 **Joker:** Also, Ann, you’re avoiding my first statement.

 **Joker:** What’s been going on with Shiho?

 **Panther:** nothing is going on. we’re still dating and she’s still super sweet and i love her

 **Joker:** Ann..

 **Joker:** Ann that’s gay..

 **Panther:** stfu you literally just said you wanted to make out with a guy

 **Joker:** Um actually I typed it.

 **Joker:** And it was crossed out so it doesn’t count.

 **Joker:** Check your privilege.

 **Panther:** [ maxresdefault.jpg ](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/onB-EGRSAsE/maxresdefault.jpg)

**Joker:** Okay now you’re just being mean.

 **Panther:** [ eyeroll.gif ](http://replygif.net/i/871.gif)

**Joker:** Wow. Okay wow.

 **Joker:** That hurts, Ann. That hurts.

 **Panther:** [ pathetic.png ](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/700/064/3b1.png)

**Joker:** Two can play at this game.

 **Panther:** [ scared.jpg ](https://media.giphy.com/media/26BRpMpmg3dHJ2rTy/giphy-facebook_s.jpg)

**Joker:** [ rude.gif ](http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2013/07/RUDE.gif)

**Skull:** ok can u guys maybe do that in a separate chat

 **Skull:** i dont wanna click the link to all of these fuckin reaction images and shit

 **Joker:** [ jake-no.gif ](http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/gallery/no/jake-no.gif)

**Panther:** [ cady-says-no.gif ](https://i.giphy.com/media/3o7aTzDpqcwmyFKD8k/giphy.webp)

**Skull:** wow ok

 **Skull:** thats just effin rude

 **Skull:** i expected this from ann but u too akira??

 **Skull:** betrayed by my own bro

 **Joker:** I went to look up “sorry bb” reaction images and honestly everything is so dark and sad??

 **Joker:** There was an image of someone writing the words “I’m sorry” in blood??

 **Joker:** And I Am Not About That Life???

 **Panther:** holy shit really.

 **Joker:** Yeah. Everything is so sad and depressing. I just wanted to find a dumb reaction image just to be an asshole while also apologizing to Ryuji but I guess I can’t.

 **Joker:** The internet is so dark.

 **Skull:** well yeah

 **Skull:** no shit

 **Joker:** Shh

* * *

 

_June 17th 2017_

_10:04 pm_

 

**Thot Begone**

 

 **Joker:** Y’all just an update but Ohya hasn’t responded yet.

 **Joker:** Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go to sleep before my cat murders me.

 **Skull:** shit still??

 **Fox:** Give it time, Ryuji. We just emailed her this afternoon. I’m sure she’s a busy woman and she’ll respond when she’s able.

 **Skull:** i think we have a right to be a little impatient

 **Skull:** we have less than two weeks to learn this fuckers name, figure out his keywords and steal his heart before miss prez turns us in

 **Fox:** And who’s fault is that?

 **Skull:** OH COME ON

 **Skull:** im sorry ok?!?! wat more do u want from me??

 **Skull:** besides ann is also at fault here

 **Fox:** Yes, but she didn’t say “...we wouldn’t be doing stuff as the _Phantom Thieves_ _..._ ”

 **Skull:** y u gotta throw me under the bus like this dude

 **Skull:** thats effin low

 **Fox:** Then maybe you should stop complaining about our limited time period. None of us are happy about this arrangement but this is the best chance we’ve got.

 **Skull:** ….fine

 **Panther:** yusuke is fucking ruthless.

 **Panther:** akira is going to be sorry he missed this.

* * *

 

_June 19th, 2017_

_5:59 am_

 

**Thot Begone**

 

 

 **Joker:** WHAT THE SHIT

 **Joker:** I MISSED YUSUKE FUCKING DRAG RYUJI?!?1

 **Joker:** FUCK YOU MORGANA. I DIDN’T NEED SLEEP I NEEDED TO SEE THIS.

 **Panther:** you snooze you lose i guess

 **Joker:** fuck off

 **Panther:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

* * *

 

_June 18th 2017_

_9:45 pm_

 

**Thot Begone**

 

 **Joker:** Junya Kaneshiro.

 **Joker:** I know we talked about this in the main Phantom chat but his name is Junya Kaneshiro. Tomorrow we’re all meeting up, right?

 **Panther:** yea

 **Fox:** Yes.

 **Joker:** Awesome.

 **Joker:** Also just incase we don’t see him later, Ryuji gives his condolences.

 **Panther:**??? what are you talking about??

 **Fox:** When you put it like that, you make it sound as if he died..

 **Joker:** Honestly he might of.

 **Panther:**!!!!!!! WHAT

 **Fox:** Akira, what are you talking about?

 **Joker:** I’m sure he’s fine.

 **Joker:** ….Probably.

 **Panther:** what happened to ryuji???

 **Joker:** Nothing he’s fine.

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_rip ryuji_ ** _~_

 **Panther:** what the actual fuck

 **Joker:** Listen it was either this or “rip ryuji’s asshole” and somehow I don’t think you’ll appreciate that.

 **Fox:** That sounds rather crass.

 **Panther:** that sounds really gross/wrong and i am not going to ask

 **Joker:** That’s probably for the best.

* * *

 

_June 19th, 2017_

_12:36 pm_

 

They agreed to meet up at the Station Square in Shibuya.

Akira stepped off of the train and quickly made his way to the exit. It shouldn’t be too hard to find them, after all it was kind of hard to miss the three people who didn’t have brown or black hair. It was especially hard to miss them when two of them had bright blond hair.

Just as expected, he immediately spotted Ann and Yusuke standing next to a stone bench. Akira made his way towards them.

Ann noticed him first and waved him over eagerly. “Akira!”

He offered her a slight smile. Ann was a nice girl… Much nicer than he had first anticipated. When he had walked by her desk that day in April, before he even knew about the Metaverse or Kamoshida or anything that was going on, he remembered that she had whispered “liar” at him. When he questioned her, she had refused to answer or even look at him. Originally, Akira had thought she was going to turn out to be another bitchy high school girl who hated him before she even got to know him. Thankfully, she was nothing like that. Looking back on it, Akira supposed given everything she had been through she had every right to be bitchy. She hadn’t deserved any of the shit she had to go through. Shiho hadn’t deserved any of the shit she had to go through. None of them had deserved the shit they had to go through. Which just gave him all the more reason to change Kaneshiro’s heart.

Akira approached them. “Hey, guys.”

He quickly scanned the group. Ann, Yusuke, Morgana was in his bag…wait. They were missing someone.

“Where’s Ryuji?” Yusuke asked.

“I...thought he would have been here by now.” Akira answered honestly. He had been joking when he said Ryuji had died, but…. Did he actually?

“There he is!” Ann chirped. She pointed towards the train station.

Ryuji marched up to them, a scowl on his face. “I can’t believe you guys ditched me yesterday! I almost entered a world I want nothing to do with!”

Akira couldn’t help but smirk slightly at that. Perhaps he shouldn’t have left Ryuji behind like that, but hey… One day they’d both look back on it and laugh, but for now as it seemed, Akira was the only one laughing.

Ann shook her head. Her pigtails bounced back and forth. “What are you talking about?” Right. She hadn’t been in Shinjuku yesterday when Ryuji had accidentally picked up two older men.

It was an innocent enough question, but it caused the boy’s face to turn bright red. “N-nothing! Just, start it up, Yusuke…” Ryuji stammered. Akira had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

Yusuke looked at the boy curiously before fishing his phone out of his back pocket. He looked down at the screen while he spoke. “Okay, I entered Kaneshiro’s name into the nav. Just as expected, it’s a hit.” He showed them the screen as proof.

Morgana spoke up from where he sat on the wall. At some point he had crawled out of Akira’s bag and onto the stone wall. “All we need now are the two other keywords: what he thinks of as his palace and where it is.” His tail flicked back and forth. “We don’t have any clues other than the people falling victim around here. We’ll just have to try whatever keywords we can come up with.”

Ryuji groaned. “Ugh, that’s going to be impossible! How many buildings do you think there are in Shibuya?!” It was a rhetorical question.

Ann crossed her arms. Her sky blue eyes glimmered. “No complaining.”

Before Ryuji could open his mouth to argue, Yusuke cut him off. “If we can figure out what the palace is, we may be able to guess where it is by association.” He had a point.

 _Smart and pretty,_ Akira thought. _Not to mention he can fight like a fucking badass. Is there anything this boy can’t do?_

Ryuji considered this for a moment. “Hmm… it’s prolly somewhere he has control over.” Given what little information they had about Kaneshiro, it seemed safe to assume that. “Maybe a...garden?”

Ann made a face as if she had taken a bite out of a lemon. “A _garden?!_  Really?!”

“Shut up. I don’t see any of you trying to come up with suggestions.”

Yusuke shook his head. “No.”

“Hmm...he likes money so...what about a money bath? I’ve seen people online with things like that!” Ann chimed in.

This time it was Ryuji who made the lemon-face. “And you’re saying a garden is stupid? How are we going to infiltrate a money bath!”

“Shut up!”

“No. Not even close.” Yusuke sighed. He looked over at Akira. “How about it, Akira? Can you think of anything?”

Akira thought for a moment. Maybe it was something that cost a lot of money, like a mansion. He could also go with the humorous approach.

"'Money bath.'"

Yusuke cast him an unamused look. "Not even close. We just went over this."

Ann and Ryuji snickered at this. Akira thought for a moment, considering serious possibilities. Maybe...

“‘Bank.’”

“I see…” Yusuke input the codeword into the Nav. “Okay, that’s a hit. So...he thinks of somewhere in this city as his own bank…”

“I thought it would be something less realistic,” Ann admitted. She twirled the ends of one of her pigtails. “That’s all it is, huh?”

“Now then, what location would Kaneshiro think of as his own bank?” Morgana said thoughtfully.

“If we’re talkin’ about a place where he keeps his cash, maybe his hideout?” Ryuji offered. It was a reasonable enough guess. After all, Madarame had seen his own home as a museum, and Kamoshida had seen Shujin--the place where he worked--as his castle.

“How about a real bank?” Ann said.

Morgana made a noise. “It couldn’t be. His cognition wouldn’t be distorted in that case.”

“Oh.”

“Dammit, we ain’t getting anywhere!” Ryuji growled. He scuffed at the ground with his sneaker.

“This may be difficult to explain, but maybe we’re thinking too ‘inside the box’?” Yusuke suggested. “Palaces emanate a passionate madness. It feels as though we’re missing that aspect.”

Ryuji looked at the artist as if he had two heads. “...The hell are you talking about?”

“This palace is a bank for someone who extorts money with criminal acts. It’s something more…”

“But what other ways can we think about it?” Ann inquired. She looked….confused. Something dawned on her. “Oh! Could it be a place where you withdraw money?”

Morgana perked up. “Hold on. Do you think it might have something to do with the victims? He’s taking money from his victims’ wallets, right? That means his bank is wherever they are!”

“That’s terrible!... but you may just be right…”

“Oh come on! How many people do you think Kaneshiro’s taken advantage of in all of Shibuya?!” Ryuji hissed, frustrated.

“Wait a second!” Yusuke exclaimed. He looked down at the nav on his phone. “...I have a hit.”

“Huh…? W-wait, what?! Did I say something right?!”

“The place that Kaneshiro thinks of as his bank is….” The artist quickly glanced at his phone screen. “...‘All of Shibuya.’”

“What?!” Ann gasped! “Like… the entire city?”

Akira made a noise. Somehow, while it was disgusting to think about, he wasn’t completely surprised. Which, honestly, was just really sad.

“I see...that’s certainly where his victims are. It turns out he really is a criminal…” Morgana aforementioned.

“But, wait. Is it okay for us to go into the Palace right out of a crowd like this?!” Ann wondered out loud.

Ryuji waved her off. “Nobody notices if a piece of trash disappears from a trash can. This ain’t any different.”

“In that case, let’s go.” Yusuke said. He tapped a few things on his phone and instantly they were all transported to the Metaverse.

* * *

 

_June 19th 2017_

_12:40 pm_

 

They were in Shibuya.

That much was obvious. If it weren’t for the sudden change in the time of day and the money falling out of the sky, Akira probably wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference.

Ann -- er, Panther -- gasped, suddenly. She pointed at something that Akira couldn’t quite make out. “What are _those?!_ ”

Everyone turned. Off in the distance, where people normally would have been bustling around, were large grey boxes with legs. ATMs..

“Walking ATMs…” Fox muttered. “That must be Kaneshiro’s cognition of people… So this is what Kaneshiro considers a ‘bank.’” He put air quotes around the word “bank.”

Morgana bounded forward a bit, most likely to get a better look. “I never thought it would be the entire district. Look around us, the distortion is affecting the whole of Shibuya.”

“Huh? Whaddya mean?” Skull asked. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

Panther made a motion like she was snapping her fingers. However, due to the pink gloves that came with her metaverse outfit, it didn’t make much of a noise. “Ohh, that’s right! Even when we were in the castle and museum, the city outside looked totally normal.”

Fox scoffed, crossing his arms. “He sees everyone in Shibuya as his patron.” Disgust and possibly anger tinged his voice.

Skull grunted. He shoved his hands into his pockets and said “No surprise for a mafia boss.”

“It’s best we focus on finding Kaneshiro’s location and stealing his treasure as soon as possible.” Fox said. No one pointed out the underlying fact that they only had about a week or so left to steal the treasure before Makoto turned them in. No one had to point it out.

Skull nodded. “Yeah. His hideout’s gotta be somewhere around here. Let’s go look for it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.  
> I'm not sure how many of you read the notes at the beginning of the chapter so I might as well state it here too. This chapter was not proofread so the actual-scenes are probably written really terribly and there's probably a lot of mistakes. I'm sorry about that. If you notice any mistakes then please let me know and I'll fix it soon!  
> Eventually I will go back and edit this, but at the moment please enjoy it in it's first and choppy form. I wanted to get a chapter out before Thanksgiving, but I haven't been paying much attention to this as of lately. School has been my top priority for the past week or so. I had a shit ton of homework, not to mention report cards were just issued out so I've been working pretty hard. But hey, I have the next four days off so hopefully I can spend some more time on this.  
> Anyways, I promise I'll keep updating this, and hopefully soon updates should become more consistent. Just...at the moment there's a lot going on. Things should start to ease up soon.  
> For those of you reading this right as I updated this chapter and happen to live in the US, happy Thanksgiving! For those of you who live else where, or who are reading this much later than when this chapter was updated, happy....normal day?  
> I think that's about it for now. See ya <3  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818


	8. akira and ryuji lose their fucking minds (jn doesn't know what they're doing anymore)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fox: Do I even want to ask?  
> Joker: Probably not.  
> Skull: not really  
> Fox: Well alright then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait you guys.  
> this chapter is much shorter then the rest...sorry about it  
> warning: this chapter has a darker sense of humor then the rest?? it's mostly filler and contributes nothing to the overall "plot" so if that kind of thing makes you uncomfortable then you can skip it. This is the result of a sleep deprived teenager shitposting at 12 am during christmas vacation.

_June 19th 2017_

_8:06 pm_

 

 **r** **ip ryuji**

 

 **Joker:** we have about a week to do this and we don’t even know how to get into kaneshiro’s palace someone yeet me off a bridge

 **Fox:** Yeet?

 **Joker:** yeet

 **Skull:** yeet yeet?

 **Joker:** yeet yeet.

 **Joker:** maybe yeet will be our always

 **Skull:** hell yea

 **Joker:** tfioyeet.img

 **Skull:** hjoly shit did u really photoshop tfios movie poster?

 **Joker:** yeet

 **Fox:** Do I even want to ask?

 **Joker:** Probably not.

 **Skull:** not really

 **Fox:** Well alright then.

 **Joker:** no but seriously. Kaneshiro’s palace is all the way in the fucking air and we have no way to get up there i am going to propel myself out the fucking window of leblanc i’m so over this

 **Panther:** he’s not using proper punctuation or capitalization. that’s how you know he’s serious

 **Joker:** hell yeah

 **Joker:** yusuke, you’ll have to carry on my legacy. please continue to type using proper capitalization and punctuation.

 **Fox:** That is how I type but okay. I’ll do it for you.

**Joker:**

**Joker:**

**Joker:**

**Skull:** dude?

 **Panther:** akira???

**Joker:**

* * *

 

_June 19th 2017_

_8:08 pm_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Ann Takamaki**

 

 **AK:** ANN

 **AK:** ANN TAKAMAKI

 **AK:** DID YOU FUCKING SEE THAT

 **AK:** HE SAID HE’D DO IT FOR ME OLKJHF,KSDHJS,DJ

 **AT:** congratulations. somehow the two of u got even gayer

 **AK:** SDFKJSDFKJSKJLFLKJLFSLLSKJJLKS

 **AK:** FUCK

 **AT:** this is really gay

 **AT:** i can’t tell if you have a serious crush on him or not tbh. what’s going on there anyway?

 **AK:** honestly i have no idea. I don’t really think about it. He’s really pretty and kind of smart sometimes and i like being around him but i don’t know if i have a crush on him or if i’m just somewhat attracted to him or what’s going on but between all the other shit we have going on i’m not going to think about it.

 **AT:** fair enough

 **AK:** okay but he said he would do it for me. Ann. he said he would do it for m e

 **AK:** fuck dude

 **AK:** i think i had a wet dream like that once

 **AT:** AKIRA

 **AT:** HOLY FUCK TMI

 **AK:** jesus fuck im joKING

 **AK:** IM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT THAT SHIT WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR

 **AT:** kjfkljdjdslkjdsfjlkfkljfkj i dont know anymore. you go from serious to non-serious in a matter of five seconds i don’t know when you are or aren't joking anymore.

 **AT:** i’m pretty sure you’re high like 98% of the time

 **AK:** god i wish i was high

 **AT:** akira

 **AT:** no

 **AK:** i know i know

 **AK:** but god i wish

 **AT:** do you want me to tell the group chat you didn’t die?

 **AK:** nah i can do it i’m fine.

* * *

 

_June 19th 2017_

_8:11 pm_

 

**rip ryuji**

 

 **Joker:** sorry morgana sat on my phone but im good now

 **Panther:** are you sure about that?? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Joker:** ann i swear to fuck

 **Skull:** aight then

 **Joker:** anyways, ann how’s shiho?

 **Panther:** pretty and perfect and i love her

 **Joker:** thats gay

 **Panther:** stfu youre gay

 **Joker:** shit i’ve been Exposed

* * *

 

_June 20th, 2017_

_12:05 am_

 

**rip ryuji**

 

 **Joker:** Beep beep lettuce.

 **Fox:** Beep beep lettuce?

 **Joker:** [ BeepBeepLettuce.jpg ](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/0_H9SKRzpqA/maxresdefault.jpg)

**Skull:** beep beep lettuce

 **Joker:** beep beep lettuce

 **Skull:** [ beep-beep-suicide.png ](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/001/261/116/a60.png)

**Joker:** akljfwkkjdfhkKUHEDFKSKH RYUJI

 **Joker:** [ beep-beep-jews.jpg ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ct3ZIBOUAAArMm3.jpg)

**Skull:** LHJSFKSKJFJ KJDFJKHFRHK DUDE

 **Skull:** [ sheila.jpg ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/386368674283520001/389284805038047233/sheila.jpg)

**Joker:** RYUJI OH MY GOD

 **Joker:** [ elf-practice.png ](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/320/973/aca.png)

**Skull:** AKIRA

 **Joker:** wHY WEREN’T YOU AT ELF PRACTICE?!?!?!?!111

 **Joker:** beep beep elf practice?

 **Skull:** WHY WEREN’T YOU AT LETTUCE PRACTICE

 **Joker:** [ hqdefault.jpg ](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/64JH9kdChc0/hqdefault.jpg)

**Joker:** _why weren’t you at ELF PRACTICE?!_

 **Skull:** BEEP BEEP LETTUCE

 **Joker:** RYUJI WHY WERENT YOU AT ELF PRACTICE

 **Skull:** yeet yeet lettuce

 **Joker:** Max why weren’t you at elf practice?!

 **Skull:** beep beep lettuce

 **Joker:** YEET YEET ELF PRACTICE

 **Fox:** Okay what the actual hell is going on right now.

 **Joker:** YUSUKE

 **Skull:** THERE WILL BE NONE OF THAT IN THIS CHRISTIAN SERVER

 **Fox:** I…

 **Fox:** Okay. Why am I even questioning it at this point.

 **Joker:** Yusuke why weren’t you at meme practice?

 **Skull:** MEME PRACTICE MQSKJHFSUKHSKJD

 **Fox:** I want no involvement in this.

 **Panther:** guys it’s 12 in the morning go to bed

 **Joker:** No

 **Skull:** wait for it

 **Skull:** 3..

 **Skull:** 2..

 **Skull:** 1..

 **Joker:** I’m going to bed goodnight guys.

 **Panther:** and there it is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I guess I have a bit of explaining to do.  
> Yes, this chapter is mostly filler and I'm sorry. I haven't had any time to write this as of lately, nor have I had the motivation. No, I am not giving up on this story, I just haven't been very motivated lately. I have a lot of ideas for this fic, so no I will not be giving up.  
> The "beep beep lettuce" chaos thing that went down? That was based off of an actual conversation I had in a discord server I'm it. We uh...we kind of lost our fucking minds last night and that happened. It was really funny at the time so yeah, I decided to put that in here.  
> The whole shit with Kaneshiro should happen in the next chapter, I promise. Makoto will be in the next chapter.  
> Sorry about how long this took to get out and sorry it wasn't really worth the wait given how shitty it is but next chapter will be better.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818
> 
> Edit 8/26/18: Just wanna say uhhh I fucking hate this chapter and if it wasn't for the fact that it's kinda necessary I would have deleted it. This chapter? Trash. Don't take it seriously. At one point this meme was relevant but uhhhhh it died and I hate this.


	9. june 20th, the day everything goes wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: What do you think of her outfit?  
> Fox: Sharp.  
> Joker: I mean...yeah, it is covered in spikes, very observant there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly normal writing in this chapter. There's very little text here, sorry guys.

_June 20th 2017_

_6:26 pm_

 

_“We ain’t got nothin’..”_

_“Are we out of luck…?_

_“If only we could contact the real Kaneshiro…”_

Makoto took a deep breath and clutched the strap of her bookbag. She spotted them in their usual place in the underground walkway. _The Phantom Thieves…_

If she was truly honest with herself, she was quite surprised that the Phantom Thieves were just a group of outcast teenagers. Sure, it made sense, especially when she stopped to observe who was in the group. Given the people who had been targets of the Phantom Thieves, it made far too much sense who was in the group.

Yusuke Kitagawa, previous pupil of the master artist Madarame, and allegedly a victim of Madarame’s abuse. Rumor had it that Madarame had abused and plagiarized the artwork of his students. If the Phantom Thieves truly were just, and if they were being completely honest then… No. Madarame had confessed to it himself. Either Madarame was lying and had some ulterior motive behind his confession, or...that was the truth. Makoto was leaning more towards the latter.

Ann Takamaki, the so-called “lover” of gold medalist and teacher Suguru Kamoshida. Makoto had often overheard students refer to Ann as “Kamoshida’s bitch.” Makto tended to try to stay away from gossip. The fact that she didn’t really get along well with the other students didn’t help much… Supposedly Kamoshida had been trying to force himself on her, and Ann had understandably not wanted it. Supposedly he then forced himself on Shiho Suzui, which was part of the reason she had jumped off the roof…

Actually, no. That last one wasn’t a rumor. That was the cold, hard truth of it all. Kamoshida was actually a womanizing sex offender. It was disgusting, and make Makoto nauseous just thinking about it.

Then there was Ryuji Sakamoto, the school delinquent. The entire school knew about the bad blood he and Kamoshida shared. Ryuji got pissed at Kamoshida and slapped him, and Kamoshida broke Ryuji’s leg in “self defense.” You couldn’t be a Shujin student and not know that story. The entire school knew about Ryuji, and how much of a “bad kid” he was. In retrospect, it was very clear as to why Ryuji would have been a Phantom Thief. It was too bad that he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

And then there was him..Akira Kurusu, Shujin’s most infamous transfer, and every teacher’s least favorite student. Shortly after he had moved to Tokyo was when the first Phantom Thief instance came up. It was because of that that Principal Kobayakawa had asked Makoto to observe him and collect intel on the Phantom Thieves. The only question she had was...why was _he_ a Phantom Thief? The student with a criminal record and seemingly no reason to get involved was not just _a_ Phantom Thief, but supposedly he was the _leader_ of the Phantom Thieves. What was his reasoning behind it?

“...Hm?” Yusuke looked up at the sound of Makoto’s footsteps. A sour look crossed over his face as soon as they made eye contact.

Makoto stood in front of the small group. She let go of the strap of her bookbag.

Ann scowled. “What do you want?”

“Nothing in particular. I just saw you all together here.” Makoto answered, mostly truthfully.

Ryuji scoffed. He put his hands on his hips. “That so?” His words dripped with sarcasm.

Makoto clasped her hands in front of her politely. “You seem to be having quite a bit of trouble.” Perhaps this was her chance? Maybe she’d finally be able to prove her usefulness.

Ann snorted in response. “So you’re here to check up on us.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. She flipped one of her pigtails behind her shoulder. “You may be the student council president, but when it comes to what we do you’re useless.”

 _Useless._ The word stung, like someone had driven a knife into Makoto. Did _everyone_ really think she was useless? She was trying her best… “Useless…?” Just uttering the word left a bitter after taste.

Sis’s voice rang clear in her head. _“Right now you’re useless to me!”_ The memory played over in her mind like a movie. Sae’s red eyes shining with anger, how her silver hair fell in front of her face like a curtain, how she slammed her hands on the dining table… _“All you do is eat away at my life.”_

Yusuke crossed his arms. “To be frank, yes.” It was a blunt statement, but in a way, it almost hurt more.

Ann placed one hand on her hip, and jabbed a pink painted nail in Makoto’s general direction. “Just stay on your high horse and watch. Or do you want to eavesdrop, since you’re so good at it?” Venom soaked each and every sentence she uttered.

Makoto looked at the ground, quickly blinking back a few tears. She..she could be helpful. She was helpful. Right? She bit her lip and looked up, the idea suddenly hitting her like a stack of bricks. “...So you wish to get in contact with Kaneshiro. That is what you were just discussing, weren’t you? It seemed you just needed to find out where he is.”

Akria folded his arms and leaned cooly against the railing. “Something like that.” His answer was vague and shrouded in mystery, just as he was.

Ryuji lightly nudged Akira. “You don’t gotta answer her honestly!”

In response, the boy just pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

Makoto could still here Goro Akechi’s voice in her head, taunting her. _“So you’re just the good girl type of push over.”_

_“Right now, you’re useless to me.”_

_No..._ Makoto thought. She clenched her hands into fists. “I’m not…”

Ryuji raised an eyebrow. “What was that?”

Makoto did a half point turn on her heel. “Fine. I’ll help you meet Kaneshiro.” She was going to prove she wasn’t useless if it was the last thing she did.

With that, she strutted off. She could just barely hear Yusuke’s voice saying “What exactly is she planning on doing?” Followed by Ryuji’s: “She had a dead serious look in her eyes…”

* * *

 

_June 20th, 2017_

_6:43 pm_

 

“There are way too many people here!”

People flooded the streets of Shibuya, like fish swimming upstream. Morgana turned to Akira, his blue eyes glowing in anticipation.

Ryuji, who was standing to the left of Akira, made a low throaty growl. “We’re never gonna find her.”

Akira’s phone buzzed in his pocket. The soft “pi pi pi” of his phone rang, muffled slightly by his pocket. Feeling everyone’s eyes on him, he fished it out. “Thot begone” flashed across the screen. With a shrug, the boy pressed the green “answer call” button.

Makoto’s voice sounded nice and clear. _“Hello? It’s me...Makoto Niijima,”_ There was an edge to her voice. If her words were knives, she would have just cut straight through Akira. It sent a shiver down his spine. _“Just stay on the phone and listen. Make sure you record the call as well.”_

Ann perked up from where she stood. “Huh? Who is it?”

Both her and Ryuji approached Akira, standing on either side of him. He took the phone away from his ear and put it on speaker, so that all three of them could hear.

Makoto’s voice came through the speaker. It was more muffled, as if she had stuck her phone in the waistband of her skirt. _“Do you guys know Kaneshiro?”_

 _“What?”_ That was from another voice. A man’s voice.

Ryuji took a step back. “That idiot! What’s she doin’?!” He stage whispered. Akira cooly put his finger to his lips, silencing the artificial blond.

 _“I heard I could find someone named Kaneshiro if I came to central street.”_ Makoto again.

Ann made a noise, some sort of combination of a gasp and a squeak. “Central street!”

“She’s being too rash.” Yusuke commented. Well, it was more like a growl, really.  His steel gray eyes twinkled. Quickly he took off towards central street, Akira and the others following close behind.

* * *

 

_June 20th, 2017_

_6:46 pm_

 

“What are you gettin’ at?”

Makoto breathed through her nose, her fist clenched. Her phone -- hopefully Kurusu was still on the other line -- was tucked away in the waistband of her skirt. She would show him...she could be useful.

In front of her stood two menacing gang members, both with slicked back hair and black sweaters. One of them, the one to the right of her, had his sweater unzipped and thrown over a loud, red hawaiian shirt.

“He’s blackmailing the students at Shujin Academy, is he not?” Makoto spoke daringly. Somehow, her voice didn’t shake. Even more surprising, however, she didn’t feel scared in the slightest. “Tell him if he doesn’t want me talking to the police about it, he’d better agree to meet with me.”

The man on the left -- this one had piercings -- took a few steps towards Makoto. “You got a death wish or somethin’?”

The other man, the more menacing one in the hawaiian shirt sighed, cussing under his breath. A black car with tinted pulled up. The menacing man jerked open the door and turned to Makoto. “He says he’ll meetcha. Get in.”

Makoto crossed her arms defiantly. “You better be taking me to Kaneshiro.”

The pierced man sneered. “He said get the _fuck_ in!” He jabbed the girl in the back, practically shoving her into the car. 

* * *

_June 20th 2017_

_6:51 pm_

 

“Hey, wasn’t that--”

A black car zoomed away. A black car with tinted windows where just a moment ago a girl in a school uniform stepped into.

Makoto.

 _What the hell is she doing?!_ Akira mentally screamed. _Is she insane?!_

Morgana made a defiant noise. “It’s the guys that messed with us the other day. So they _were_ connected to Kaneshiro.”

Ann whirled around to face Akira. “She still on?”

Akira nodded once, clicking on his phone to show the call was still going.

A man’s voice sounded through the line. _“Contact Kaneshiro. Tell him we got a good one.”_

 _“Where are we going?”_ That one was Makoto. Her voice was icy and stone cold.

 _“Guess we can’t do anythin’ to her if she’s Kaneshiro’s customer.”_ Another voice. This was a different man’s voice.

 _“Hey, I asked a question here. Where are we going?"_  Makoto again. Akira could sense the glare in her voice.

Ann gasped. “We’ve gotta go after them!”

In retrospect, there was something really strange about seeing Ann so concerned. Clearly something had transpired between her and Makoto that had left her more than dissatisfied. If Akira had to take a guess, he would say it was something having to do with Shiho. Ann would defend Shiho to the end of the earth and back. Ann would set the world on fire and watch it burn, all with a smile on her face if it meant Shiho was safe. Whatever had happened between Ann and Makoto, it obviously left a bitter taste in Ann’s mouth. Then again, Akira knew that Ann had a big heart.

The girl took off towards the direction of the car, the others right on her heels.

“Ryuji, get a taxi,” Yusuke ordered. “I’ll--” He took a sketchbook and pencil out of seemingly nowhere and scribbled something down. “Okay, I’ve got their license plate. My sketching skills have come in handy.” The last part of that statement was more said under his breath.

“Agh, shit he ignored me!” Ryuji hissed. All of a sudden, he jumped out into the middle of the road, causing a black taxi to stop dead in its tracks. “Dammit, I said _stop!"_

“Ryuji!” Ann scolded.

He rolled his eyes slightly. “Hurry up and get in.”

* * *

 

_July 20th 2017_

_11:21 pm_

 

**rip ryuji**

 

 **Joker:** Well.

 **Fox:** Well.

 **Joker:**...That happened.

 **Fox:** It did.

 **Joker:** I guess this means Makoto is part of us now.

 **Fox:** I guess so.

 **Joker:** I uh…

 **Joker:** Damn. Her persona awakening was seriously hardcore. I thought Ann’s awakening was intense…

 **Joker:** Oh wait, that’s the first persona awakening you’ve seen, right?

 **Fox:** Technically no, as  I was there for my own. However, I was unable to really see myself awakening my persona so, in a way that’s right.

 **Joker:** Yeah. Well, um...typically you don’t smash through the concrete floor when you’re awakening your persona.

 **Joker:** Or maybe you’re supposed to and the rest of us just aren’t doing it right? I don’t know.

 **Fox:** That is a possibility. It’s unlikely, but it is still a possibility.

 **Joker:** Did you see Makoto’s persona?

 **Fox:** Her persona is unique to say the least.

 **Joker:** Yeah.

 **Joker:** What do you think of her outfit?

 **Fox:** Sharp.

 **Joker:** I mean...yeah, it is covered in spikes, very observant there.

 **Fox:** It’s very different from what you would expect from her.

 **Joker:** I mean, that’s true.

 **Joker:** Honestly, I didn’t even expect Makoto to be a persona user. She seemed too...rule abiding.

 **Joker:** Then again, I suppose I could say the same thing about you.

 **Fox:** You’re right. Before I met the Phantom Thieves I was...very loyal to Madarame.

 **Fox:** I knew about all of the horrible things he had been doing, but I remained loyal to him. I didn’t know what else to do or where I would go if he were no longer in my life…

 **Fox:** Well, then again, we all have our breaking points. Sometimes we just need someone, or something, help us find it.

 **Joker:** You’ve got a point there

 **Panther:** sorry to interrupt, but it’s 12 in the morning and i don’t appreciate you two blowing up my phone. go to bed.

 **Joker:** Yeah, yeah. Mona was yelling at me to go to sleep anyway.

 **Fox:** I should probably get some rest as well. Goodnight, Akira.

 **Joker:** Goodnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy guess who finally got their shit together and wrote this chapter?  
> ....at 2 am on a thursday.  
> Funny enough, I kept saying I was going to try to fix my sleep schedule and look what happened :^)  
> Well, here you go. I was originally going to try to have this out before Christmas, but that didn't work out.  
> Here it is.  
> I know I promised Makoto this chapter, and she was here, but I didn't add her to the chat just yet. I really just wanted to get this out to you guys.  
> I say this every time but I swear I promise the next chapter will have a very confused Makoto added to the chaos that is the Phantom Thief group chat. Queen will be there soon.  
> Hopefully next chapter will be complete soon. If we're lucky, maybe I can get it out before the end of January.  
> Alright, well that's about it.  
> Until next time!  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818


	10. welcome to hell, leave your sanity at the door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: Oh yeah, and we also make fun of Ann for being gay.  
> Panther: stfu you’re gay  
> Joker: You got me there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 11/30/18: Wow this chapter is so short I am so sorry about that. Uhh all the later chapters become much longer but wow...this is so short. I thought I accidentally deleted something at first what the hell. Why did I think a chapter this size was acceptable. Sorry about the shortness of it. The chapters get much longer later on.

_June 21st 2017_

_10:28 pm_

 

**rip ryuji**

 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has added_ **_Makoto Niijima_ ** _to the chat~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Makoto Niijima_ ** _’s name to_ **_Queen_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** Welcome to hell.

 **Queen:** What is this?

 **Skull:** hell

 **Fox:** A group chat.

 **Queen:** I’m aware of that but...why?

 **Joker:** Why not?

 **Queen:** Oh...okay then.

 **Joker:** In other news, Kaneshiro’s palace makes me want to die :^)

 **Skull:** why is this a mood

 **Joker:** Seriously. We spent _hours_ trying to figure out how the fuck to get down stairs.

 **Joker:** The solution was so simple. Just jump down the pipes, and there’s the fucking vault.

 **Joker:** But no, that shit was too complicated for us.

 **Joker:** Seriously, I’m pissed off about this.

 **Fox:** It was rather inconvenient.

 **Joker:** For Phantom Thieves, we’re really dense.

 **Fox:** What’s even more inconvenient is all the security cameras…

 **Queen:** Is this what everyone does? Just complains about how obnoxious the palaces are?

 **Joker:** Yeah.

 **Skull:** p much

 **Fox:** For the most part.

 **Joker:** We also bitch about life in general.

 **Joker:** Hey uh...Makoto? Don’t scroll up.

 **Queen:** Why?

 **Joker:** Just don’t.

 **Skull:** please dont

 **Queen:** ...Okay.

 **Joker:** Oh yeah, and we also make fun of Ann for being gay.

 **Panther:** stfu you’re gay

 **Joker:** You got me there.

 **Queen:** What??

 **Joker:** You didn’t know??

 **Joker:** Ann’s gay.

 **Panther:** Bi, actually.

 **Queen:** Oh, okay. That’s nice, I guess.

 **Panther:** Akira’s also bi.

 **Joker:** [ finger-guns.jpg ](https://memegenerator.net/img/images/600x600/15102247/finger-guns-kiddo.jpg)

**Queen:** I didn’t realize just how supportive you all are of each other.

 **Joker:** Yeah, it’s pretty supportive here.

 **Joker:** We have two bisexuals, a heterosexual(?), and Yusuke. We’re all pretty supportive.

 **Queen:** Oh.

 **Skull:** is yusuke just his own separate entity?

 **Panther:** pretty much, yeah.

 **Joker:** Why? Is there a problem?

 **Queen:** No, absolutely not. I was just...surprised at the overwhelming amount of support.

 **Skull:** us outcasts have gotta stick together ig

 **Fox:** All four of us have a troubled past. The common thread between Ann, Ryuji and myself is that Akira was there to help and support us in a time when no one else would. Akira actually managed to talk some sense into me when I turned a blind eye to what was actually happening. I would hope that after everything that has happened, they would be there to support me in the same way I hope they know I’m there to support them.

 **Queen:** I had no idea just how deep it went. I won’t pry or try to question any of you further, but I’m shocked at the overwhelming amount of support.

 **Joker:** Surprise. The Phantom Thieves don’t just steal hearts and piss off the cops.

 **Queen:** I never insinuated that that was all the Phantom Thieves were cut out to be.

 **Skull:** relax hes messin with you

 **Queen:** Oh.

 **Joker:** :^)

 **Joker:** Welcome to hell, please enjoy your stay.

 **Queen:** When can I leave?

 **Skull:** never

 **Joker:** I mean...as long as you don’t decide to rat us out, you can stay for as long as you want I guess.

 **Panther:** never

 **Joker:** Ann, no.

 **Panther:** you didn’t call out ryuji

 **Joker:** We expect that kind of thing from Ryuji.

 **Skull:** tf does that mean

 **Joker:** What I just said.

 **Queen:** Um…

 **Fox:** This is normal. I tend not to question it at this point.

 **Skull:** um excuse

 **Skull:** [ rude.jpg ](https://i.imgur.com/smRed7M.jpg)

**Joker:** [ suck-it.jpg ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cf3ii5nUMAAsm9k.jpg)

**Panther:** hey um can we Not do this again

 **Joker:** [ elizabeth-banks.gif ](http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Elizabeth-Banks-No-Reaction-Gif.gif)

**Skull:** [ anaconda.gif ](https://78.media.tumblr.com/00522f48417fbe01359536f1df74f90c/tumblr_msz7gb0PyR1qcdlamo1_500.gif)

**Panther:** i’m disowning all of you

 **Panther:** i’m going to bed fuck all of you

 **Joker:** Wow rude.

 **Skull:** k bye ann

 **Joker:** Night Ann.

 **Queen:** What just happened?

 **Skull:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Joker:** [ noodle-arm-shrug.png ](http://mymemes.biz/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/shrug-meme.jpg)

**Fox:** It appears they managed to chase away Ann again.

 **Queen:** Again?

 **Joker:** Yeah. She gets really fed up with our bullshit and randomly leaves the chat sometimes.

 **Joker:** I mean, for a while she was the only female so…

 **Joker:** It’s probably not fun being stuck with a ton of dumb boys.

 **Joker:** Well, dumb boys and Yusuke. 

 **Skull:** yusuke is,,v unique

 **Fox:** Yes well, I suppose sometimes it is difficult to put up with my "eccentricities."

 **Queen:** I see…

 **Joker:** With you here Makoto, maybe we can even it out a little bit.

 **Queen:** I hope so.

 **Skull:** u _hope so?_

 **Queen:** Is there a problem?

 **Joker:** No, Ryuji’s just being dense.

 **Skull:** hey!

 **Fox:** So same as usual?

 **Skull:** HEY

 **Skull:** thats fresh coming from u

 **Queen:** I don’t think the term “fresh” is appropriate in that sentence.

 **Fox:** My statement still stands.

 **Joker:** I can’t believe Yusuke just destroyed Ryuji.

 **Queen:** On that note, I think I’ll get to bed myself.

 **Joker:** gn Makoto

 **Skull:** gn

 **Fox:** Goodnight.

 **Queen:** Try not to break anything.

 **Joker:** No promises, but we’ll try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy fucking new year, may 2017 burn in hell.  
> Here's the first chapter of the year. Sorry about how short this chapter is. I was going to try to make it longer, but I don't have much motivation to write as of right now. My girlfriend and I just broke up, so as of right now I don't have much motivation for writing what's supposed to be a "comedy." I'll try to get back into the swing of things soon, but for now this is all I have to offer.  
> Oh hey, the Kaneshiro thing with the vault? Yeah, true story. I couldn't fucking figure out how to get to the vault, and when I did I was so pissed. The answer was right in front of my fucking face. I'm still salty about this shit.  
> I have a few announcements while we're here.  
> In case you didn't know, I did a lot of editing. When I first started writing this, I was writing Ryuji as bisexual, but along the way I decided I didn't want that a. Also, for whatever reason when posting chapter three literally half of it didn't fucking post. I went back and fixed that, too. I made minor edits to the other chapters, but for the most part those are the two major edits.  
> I guess that's all for now. Stay tuned for the next chapter, I guess. Hopefully that will be a bit better.  
> ~JN
> 
> Oh hey, if any of you have another name for the chat or any writing prompts hit me up with that good shit because honestly I'm starting to get tired of "rip ryuji" and I want to know what you guys want me to incorporate into this fic.
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818


	11. this is an absolute shitstorm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: Microbiology.  
> Skull: tf

_June 22nd 2017_

_5:06 pm_

 

“Let’s take a break.”

Joker took a seat at one satin couches in the safe room. The other phantom thieves scattered themselves elsewhere. Panther opted to sit on the center table, whilst Queen had chosen one of the chairs surrounding the promontory. Skull sat on the other end of the couch, turning the heavy steel pipe in his hands. Fox leaned against one of the walls with ease.

Fox. Fox was… shit, Joker wasn’t entirely sure how to describe Fox. He was eccentric, to say the least. Very eccentric, and somewhat difficult to work with at times. Joker didn’t mind any of that. Actually, he valued the eccentricities. In his opinion, it just gave Fox more character.

Fox took off his mask and dragged his gloved hand through his silky hair. Akira wanted nothing more than to run his fingers through his hair.

Joker couldn’t help but notice how Fox’s metaverse costume was unzipped just slightly so that it showed a bit of his chest. That thin strip of skin, revealing his sharp collar bones and his long, slim neck.

Somehow, the leader forced his gaze upwards. There was also Fox’s sharp jawline and high cheekbones -- so sharp you could cut something on it, probably. His round lips appeared soft. Those lips had uttered many words, some of which Joker still remembered to this days. Joker was curious to know what would happen if he pressed his lips to Yusuke’s.

Further upwards. His eyes; those startling, blue-grey eyes. Eyes that had witnessed many tragedies and many paintings. Eyes that had witnessed the splash and collision of a variety of a color splattered on a canvas, and had seen countless of hours of graphite against parchment, lines scrawled on paper, sketches a crisp, blank surface. Countless upon countless of sketches.

Those eyes, that had once witnessed the shadow of his former sensei collapse. How many tears those eyes had actually shed was anyone’s guess.

“See something you like?”

Akira started and whipped his head to the side. Panther stared at him with an intense gaze. Joker forced a smirk on his face before answering. “Just admiring the art work.”

“‘Admiring?’ It seems more like you’re undressing him with your eyes.” Panther playfully nudged Joker, and took a seat on the arm of the couch. “You can look, but you can’t touch.”

“Really? If there’s no touching, then who’s going to nail the artwork to the wall?”

The girl made a face. “That’s pretty gay.”

Akira shrugged. “You’re pretty gay.”

“You got me there.” Panther tapped her temple with one finger, then stood up. “Come on Joker, don’t you have a team to lead?”

She held out a hand, which the boy accepted with ease.

“You’re right,” Joker said. “Alright everyone, let’s consult.”

* * *

 

_June 22nd 2017_

_11: 04 pm_

 

**rip ryuji**

 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_99 Problems and Security Levels are all of them_ ** _~_

 **Skull:** uh wats with the name change

 **Joker:** I was starting to get tired of “rip ryuji.” The joke isn’t funny anymore.

 **Joker:** Also it felt appropriate given the fuckiNG SECURITY IN KANESHIRO’S SHITHOLE OF A BANK.

 **Joker:** Madarame was bad? At least he didn’t have fucking cameras everywhere! Jfc if I have to break another power box I’m going to shoot myself. Maybe I'll have a second persona awakening in the process.

 **Skull:** fair enough

 **Skull:** the fuckin infared lasers were annoying as shit but at least we knew how to deal with em

 **Skull:**...meaning we relied on u but w/e

 **Joker:** Honestly though.

 **Joker:** Kaneshiro’s palace is a pain in the ass I am going to yeet myself off of a fucking cliff.

 **Fox:** If you do that, we’ll have to find a new leader.

 **Skull:** i nominate the cat

 **Fox:** I nominate Queen.

 **Joker:** Betrayed? By my own team members? It’s more likely than you think.

 **Panther:** jesus christ go to bed you meme loving fucks

 **Panther:** i’m trying to sleep please stop blowing up the goddamn chat.

 **Skull:** u could always mute ur fuckin phone ann

 **Joker:** ^^^

 **Joker:** Okay but seriously I need to go to bed. Mona won’t stop yelling at me, I’m tired after that palace exploration today, and we have school in the morning.

 **Skull:** gn

 **Fox:** Goodnight.

 **Skull:**...and then there were 2

 **Fox:** It appears that way.

 **Skull:** wat do u think about this whole situation

 **Fox:** Well, this palace is most definitely more complex than the last one, but I suppose given the circumstances that is to be suspected.

 **Skull:** i mean yea

 **Fox:** I don’t appreciate being blackmailed into doing this, but we’ve come this far. Makoto has proven to be a valuable asset to the team, and has made this much easier to manage.

 **Skull:** u got a point

 **Skull:** if u had told me a few days ago that miss student council prez was gonna turn out to be a badass persona user with spikes and a motorcycle i woulda asked if u were on drugs

 **Skull:** but here we are i guess

 **Skull:** miss student council prez has turned out to be one of the most badass members of our team

 **Skull:** if not the most badass

 **Queen:** I would appreciate if you would stop calling me that.

 **Fox:** I would argue that Ann is also “badass” as you put it.

 **Fox:** Oh, hello Makoto.

 **Skull:** sorry queen

 **Skull:** and yea, ann’s p badass too

 **Skull:** u werent there for her awakening but she took it like a champ

 **Queen:** I… appreciate all the compliments, but really I’m just trying to fight for what’s just.

 **Fox:** That is the overall goal.

 **Queen:** I severely misjudged the Phantom Thieves. To think that I would get roped into this.

 **Skull:** welcome to this bs

 **Queen:** It’s been an experience thus far.

* * *

 

_June 23rd 2017_

_6:04 pm_

 

**99 Problems and Security Levels are all of them**

 

 **Joker:** Can I get uhhhhh mcfucking death with a side of end my suffering

 **Panther:** what a mood

 **Joker:** Ughh how’s the calling card coming?

 **Queen:** We’re working on it.

 **Skull:** id say its comin along p well

 **Joker:** I hope you guys actually have a plan…

 **Queen:** Just trust me on this one.

 **Joker:** Okay, I’ll leave you to it.

 **Joker:** Someone end my suffering :^)

 **Fox:** Is everything okay?

 **Joker:** You mean aside from the fact that we need to fight this fucker tomorrow and Kaneshiro’s palace is such a fucking pain in the ass?

 **Fox:** Point taken.

 **Panther:** who knew that rebelling against society would be so exhausting

 **Joker:** Can I have that written on my tombstone?

 **Panther:** same

 **Joker:** Ah yes, I can see it now:

 **Joker:** “Here lies Akira Kurusu. ‘who knew rebelling against society would be so exhausting.’”

 **Fox:** Your tombstone would stand out quite a bit.

 **Joker:** Can you guys just take turns snorting crack off of my fucking gravestone? Might as well have fun with it.

 **Panther:** wh

 **Fox:** If you really want me to…

 **Queen:** None of you better be snorting anything.

 **Joker:** But Makotooo I’ll be deaaaad.

 **Queen:** You are not dying, and none of us are going to be snorting anything. Understand?

 **Joker:** Sigh...fiiine.

 **Queen:** We’re Phantom Thieves, not drug addicts.

 **Queen:** We’re technically already breaking the law, we’re not going to break anymore.

 **Panther:** can we make that our motto?

 **Joker:** I support this.

 **Fox:** I’m okay with this.

 **Joker:** Makoto can I at least have strobe lights at my funeral?

 **Queen:** Why?

 **Joker:** Who says funerals have to be sad? I want my funeral to be a fucking party.

 **Queen:** I don’t see the point in that, seeing as how most funerals usually take place during a time of mourning, but who am I to stop you.

 **Joker:** Sweet.

 **Joker:** There’s going to be strobe lights and confetti cannons, and heavy metal and dubstep will simultaneously be blasted out of the speakers.

 **Panther:** that’s wild

 **Skull:** wait so we can throw a party at his funeral but we cant snort crack off of his gravestone?? what bull

 **Joker:** You can snort crack off of my casket if you want.

 **Panther:** i don’t think any of us want to snort crack off of the place where your dead body is going to be

 **Joker:** Don’t be silly, I won’t be in the casket. I’ll be hanging from the disco ball. I won’t be put in the casket until _after_ the funeral.

 **Panther:** well sign me up

 **Skull:** im down

 **Queen:** _None_ of you are going to be snorting crack off of _anything._ Do you understand me?

 **Joker:** If I say that I want my friends and fellow teammates to snort crack off of my casket and/or tombstone in my will you’ll have to accept my wishes.

 **Queen:** I will tear your will to pieces and feed it to a shadow before that happens.

 **Joker:** Son of a bitch.

 **Queen:** There is going to be no drug usage allowed anywhere, and I will personally fight you if you try to disagree.

 **Fox:** In this case, I find it is best to just agree with Makoto.

 **Joker:** Fine. I really don’t feel like being run over today.

 **Queen:** Thank you.

 **Skull:** the callin card’s done.

 **Joker:** Nice work, Ryuji. Great work, Makoto.

 **Queen:** Thank you.

 **Skull:** why is she great but im just nice?!

 **Joker:** Because I said so that’s why.

* * *

 

_June 24th, 20XX7_

_7:45 pm_

 

**99 Problems and Security Levels are all of them**

 

 **Skull:** so that was somethin

 **Fox:** He… became a fly. Does anyone else see the irony in this?

 **Panther:** it makes a lot of sense

 **Skull:** he had a robot shaped likea pig

 **Fox:** Of course he would…

 **Panther:** well, that’s hopefully another target down.

 **Skull:** we just gotta wait for the change of heart

 **Fox:** The deadline is July 9th. We still have another fifteen days.

 **Panther:** and thus the waiting game begins.

 **Skull:** the waitin is by far the worst part of all of this

 **Fox:** Indeed.

 **Panther:** we have like two weeks left what do we do now

 **Skull:** wait

 **Fox:** Find other means to pass the time and hopefully take our minds off of it for now. Slowly countdown the days until the deadline and hope for the best.

 **Panther:** sigh..maybe while we’re waiting i can do something productive

 **Skull:** we could do that

 **Skull:** nah im just gonna play video games and let my anxiety eat away at me

 **Panther:** honestly same

 **Panther:** except i don’t really play video games

 **Skull:** i can show u if u want

 **Panther:** i’ll pass but thanks for the offer

 **Joker:** Microbiology.

 **Skull:** tf

 **Joker:** Fuck, auto correct.

 **Skull:** tf were you writing where it was autocorrected to “microbiology”

 **Joker:** You know, I would tell you but I think it’s funnier just to leave it a mystery.

 **Skull:** hell of a way to enter the effin group

 **Skull:** thats so extra

 **Panther:** well, akira’s nothing if not Extra.

 **Joker:** Um excuse me.

 **Panther:** you’re excused honey.

 **Skull:** [ damn.gif ](https://media3.giphy.com/media/G4Ihli2UThrBS/giphy.gif)

**Joker:** [ ice.jpg ](https://i.imgur.com/smRed7M.jpg)

**Fox:** Why does it always seem that one way or another, the chat leads to this.

 **Joker:**...Shit, you right.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so first and foremost sorry about how long this took to update. Seriously, it took almost a month and the results are very sub par compared to what it could have been. I'm sorry I've been away for so long, but I'm back.  
> Secondly, shout out to YuubiTimberwolf for the group chat name suggestion. They left a comment on the previous chapter with a list of potential group chat names and I thought that one was the most relevant so I went with it. Although I'm sure to use a few more of those suggestions in the future, so shout out to you my dude!  
> This chapter is all over the place. I started writing it like a month ago and this was the result. I have no idea what I was originally going for but here, just take this dumpster fire. Is it obvious at this point that I don't know what I'm doing? Like, I have some ideas for future chapters and updates but as of right now I have no idea what I'm going to do or how to get to those points. But here, just take this for now.  
> Also, I didn't say it in the last update but for those of you who have read the tags you might have already seen this. Yes, I am aware that the p5 protagonist's name is Ren Amamiya. But the thing is, I hate that and am going to continue to call him Akira because I've been calling him Akira since I first joined the fandom way back in june of 2017. I don't plan to stop calling him Akira. The name Ren is pretty cool but Amamiya? I can't even fucking pronounce that, so I'm sticking with Akira Kurusu. If this upsets any of you I literally don't care. This is my terrible fan fiction so I'm calling him Akira. The writer says Akira so it's Akira.  
> I think that's just about it for now. Hopefully the next update won't take almost an entire fucking month to write. Until next time!  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818
> 
> Edit: Happy birthday to best boy Yusuke Kitagawa!! I wanted to get a chapter up today, and if I have time and motivation maybe I'll write a cute ShuKita one shot for his birthday. Ya boy's a slut for Shukita fluff.  
> Happy birthday Yusuke :')


	12. caffeine, knives and gay shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: If you guys had a stripper name what would it be and why.  
> Panther: akira wtf

_June 25th, 2017_

_9:49 am_

 

**99 Problems and Security Levels are all of them**

 

 **Joker:** Hey so, I’m making an executive decision here.

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has promoted_ **_Queen_ ** _to a moderator~_

 **Joker:** Makoto is now a mod.

 **Skull:** r u serious?!

 **Skull:** y does she get to be a mod but not the rest of us??

 **Joker:** Let’s see, I’m owner of the server, also I’m your leader so I outrank all of you.

 **Joker:** Ryuji, you can’t really be trusted with that kind of thing. It’s nothing personal, you’re just not cut out for that kind of power.

 **Joker:** Ann… if Makoto wasn’t here then I’d probably trust her most but even _then,_  Ann also is not cut out for that kind of power.

 **Joker:** Makoto is responsible and independent. She managed to whip our asses into shape in Kaneshiro’s palace, so it only seems right.

 **Skull:** aight first off rude

 **Skull:** second off wat about yusuke?

 **Joker:** Yusuke can barely take care of himself. What makes you think he could handle being mod?

 **Skull:** tru

 **Skull:** but makoto hasnt even been a pt for that long y make her mod?

 **Joker:** She’s more responsible than any of you.

 **Joker:** Maybe except for Morgana, but he can’t type.

 **Skull:** ok fine point taken

 **Queen:** Thank you, Akira. I’ll do my best.

 **Joker:** I mean, this is kinda just a group chat to screw around, but if we have to lay down some warnings and put people in time out, we will.

 **Skull:** do we even really need a second mod

 **Joker:** Not really but I guess we might as well, just in case.

 **Skull:** fair enough

 **Joker:** Keeping the rest of you in line is a daily hassle and I’ll take as much help as I can get.

 **Skull:** hey we aint that bad

 **Joker:** You really are. I love you all to pieces but you truly are a pain in my ass.

 **Skull:** rude

 **Queen:** He does have a point.

 **Skull:** HEY

 **Joker:** See? This is why I made Makoto mod.

* * *

 

_June 26th 2017_

_9:55 am_

 

**99 problems and security levels are all of them**

 

 **Joker:** Alright how much caffeine can I pour into my trash body before I have a heart attack.

 **Fox:** I ask myself the same question every day.

 **Joker:** Hey same.

 **Queen:** Akira what are you talking about?

 **Queen:** Also Yusuke please don’t.

 **Joker:** Listen. I’m super tired right now. The only thing keeping me awake is Sojiro’s coffee. How much caffeine. Can I pour. Into my trash body. Before I have a heart attack.

 **Queen:** Let’s not try to find out.

 **Fox:** It is a mystery.

 **Joker:** A mystery that is about to be _solved._  Yusuke would you care to join me?

 **Fox:** I’d love to.

 **Queen:** The both of you better not. Not if I have anything to say about it.

 **Joker:** But Makoto…

 **Queen:** No buts. I’m not about to let the two of you suffer from a heart attack because you decided to overdose on caffeine.

 **Joker:** Okay but do you mean like a singular heart attack, or..?

 **Queen:** Excuse me?

 **Joker:** The way you phrased it made it sound like only one (1) heart attack would occur. So do Yusuke and I just share a heart or have our hearts plural just merged into one?? What’s going on there.

 **Queen:** Neither one of you is going to have a, singular or plural, heart attack. Yusuke will not suffer a heart attack and neither will you.

 **Joker:** Fuck.

 **Joker:** You know I live in a cafe, right? I can make coffee whenever I damn well please.

 **Queen:** Don’t even think about it.

 **Joker:** Yes ma’am.

 **Fox:** Unfortunately I do not believe I would have enough money to buy enough coffee to lead to a heart attack.

 **Joker:** I WILL LITERALLY FEED YOU JUST COME TO LEBLANC AND I WILL GET YOU SOMETHING.

 **Fox:** I would hate to impose.

 **Queen:** Don’t give him enough coffee to kill him.

 **Joker:** I wouldn’t even dream of it. I just want to make sure he’s being fed.

 **Panther:** would someone care to explain to me why my phone just absolutely exploded and why it woke me up

 **Fox:** You are aware there is a “do not disturb” option on your phone, right?

 **Panther:**...shut up

 **Queen:** Are you seriously just now waking up?

 **Panther:** yeah what about it.

 **Queen:** It’s almost ten o’clock...Ann….

 **Panther:** i was up late last night watching x-folders.

 **Joker:** Understandable have a nice day.

 **Panther:** see? akira gets it.

 **Queen:** You should really sleep at a reasonable hour, Ann.

 **Panther:** you see i hear what you’re saying

 **Joker:** But X-Folders.

 **Panther:** but x-folders.

 **Queen:** Yusuke, you at least agree with me, right?

 **Fox:** I do not understand the meaning of the word “sleep.”

 **Joker:** Are you kidding? I swear Yusuke runs strictly off of caffeine and sheer willpower.

 **Queen:** …

 **Queen:** I swear just the three of you are taking years off of my life.

 **Panther:** just being a phantom thief takes years off of your life

 **Joker:** Seeing as how we’re literally wanted by the police, I would say that’s already been taken care of.

 **Queen:** Fair enough, I suppose.

* * *

 

_June 26th 2017_

_12:04 pm_

 

**99 Problems and Security Levels are all of them**

 

 **Skull:** so i may have fucked up a bit

 **Skull:** does uh,,,anyone have a bandaid

 **Panther:** what did you do this time

 **Skull:** aight so i got bored and was screwing around with a knife

 **Skull:** pocket knife. not like an effin kitchen knife or smth

 **Skull:** and like it slipped out of my hand

 **Skull:** i went to catch it and wound up catchin it by the blade

 **Panther:** are...are you serious

 **Skull:** yea

 **Panther:** that’s..the dumbest thing i have ever read

 **Panther:** why didn’t you just let the knife fall?

 **Skull:** cuz then it would have fallen on my face

 **Skull:** ann im laying down on my bed it would have fallen on my face.

 **Panther:** nevermind.

 **Skull:** my thumb is bleeding and were out of bandaids wat do

 **Panther:** first wash your hand. if you have something to sanitize your hand use that

 **Skull:** we have rubbing alcohol hows that

 **Panther:** that should work

 **Panther:** it’s going to sting like a bitch though

 **Skull:** i got that much..ow

 **Skull:** its been sanitized and we still dont have bandaids

 **Skull:** fuck it im using scotch tape

 **Panther:** don’t...do that.

 **Skull:** do what?

 **Panther:** put straight up scotch tape on a cut. that’s a very bad idea.

 **Skull:** im not usin just scotch tape ann

 **Skull:** im usin the tape to hold a piece of tissue together im not a heathen ann

 **Panther:** do you have anything you could use as a bandaid??

 **Skull:** uhhh no? i have an ace bandage somewhere but i dont think i need a giant ass bandage for one tiny cut on my hand

 **Panther:** is that all you have?

 **Skull:** yea p much

 **Skull:** wait i think it stopped bleeding

 **Panther:** that was a wild ride

 **Skull:** it hurts to move my finger tho

 **Panther:** that’s why we don’t play with knives ryuji

 **Skull:** shut up

 **Joker:** Okay what the hell did I just come back to?

 **Panther:** ryuji was playing with a knife and hurt himself

 **Skull:** shhhhhh

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** I gotta make the joke.

 **Panther:** akira do _not_

 **Joker:** Ryuji let me see what you have.

 **Skull:** A KNIFE

 **Joker:** _NO._

 **Panther:** you meme loving fucks

 **Joker:** It be that way sometimes.

 **Fox:** I don’t understand the joke you just made?

 **Joker:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6gBu2Zd7Bc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6gBu2Zd7Bc)

**Joker:** ^ Here.

 **Fox:** That video seems more suited to Akira when in the Metaverse.

 **Skull:** pffft

 **Joker:** Wh

 **Joker:** What?

 **Panther:** no it makes sense and i agree with yusuke

 **Panther:** akira you fight with a dagger

 **Joker:** Yeah..?

 **Panther:** if it wasn’t for the fact that you have gloves you would have hurt yourself with that knife way too many times.

 **Skull:** dude u are a danger and if we could take that knife away from u we would except u need it to kick ass

 **Joker:** You’re damn right I need it to kick ass.

 **Joker:** I could probably throw down without it but it wouldn’t be as efficient.

 **Skull:** fair enough i guess

 **Panther:** doesn’t change the fact that you’re still dangerous with that

 **Joker:** Your point is?

 **Panther:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

* * *

 

_June 27th 2017_

_12:04 pm_

 

**99 Problems and Security Levels are all of them**

 

 **Joker:** If you guys had a stripper name what would it be and why.

 **Panther:** akira wtf

 **Skull:** suki notem tides

 **Joker:** That sounds like my pornstar name.

 **Panther:** _akira wtf_

 **Joker:** I don’t even know.

 **Joker:** I think mine would be Spicy Mocha.

 **Skull:** that sounds like the name of a rejected spice girl

 **Joker:** _Pfft_

 **Panther:** when you think about it aren’t we all rejected spice girls

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Rejected Spice Girls_ ** _~_

 **Skull:** perfect

 **Queen:** If I’m not mistaken, the three of you are in class right now and should be paying attention. Stop texting in class and get back to work.

 **Skull:** yes maam

 **Joker:** Makoto you’re also in class you can’t yell at us.

 **Queen:** Incorrect. I was excused from classes to take care of some stuff for the student council, and I had a free minute.

 **Queen:** Akira pay attention.

 **Joker:** Yes Queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternative title to this chapter: how to describe me in four words  
> Alright so firstly I am so sorry at how long this took to update. I have a lot of my own shit going on right now and have been lacking in motivation. I haven't actually touched my ps3 controller in a while. I can't remember when the last time I played persona was. Maybe december?  
> Point is it's been way too long and I'm sorry. I'll try to get back into the swing of things soon. There's just a lot going on right now, but I'm trying to find time.  
> Secondly I'm sorry this chapter is lacking in quality. All the dumb jokes and shit aren't coming to me as easily. It took a lot of willpower to try to make this somewhat funny. I guess I haven't been in the right mindset lately. Things will start to look up soon, and shortly enough I'll be back with the dumb jokes and old memes.  
> Side note: the thing with the knife happened to me. When that happened I had been texting my friends, and it was like 1 am and I remember distinctly saying something along the lines of "I wonder if I could use a tampon as a bandaid." I was tempted to add that but it seemed too ooc for Ryuji.  
> I have some stuff planned for much later on that I'm really excited about, so don't think I'm going to give up. It's just taking me a lot of time and I apologize. This chapter is also rather short, which I apologize for, but as of right now this was all I could come up with.  
> I think that's about it for now.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818


	13. akira chill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panther: akira.  
> Panther: chill your gay.  
> Joker: My gay doesn’t want to chill. My gay wants to let the pretty art boy know he’s the hottest babe.

_June 29th 2017_

_3:17 pm_

 

**Rejected Spice Girls**

 

 **Joker:** So not that “Rejected Spice Girls” isn’t a great and accurate chatname but…

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_W.A.F.F.L.E._ ** _~_

 **Panther:** waffle??

 **Joker:** Yeah.

 **Panther:** why waffle??

 **Joker:** It’s an acronym.

 **Joker:** “We Are Friends; Friends Love Eachother”

 **Queen:** Akira you are aware that “each other” is two words, right?

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Well I am now.

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_W.A.F.F.L.E-O_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** Is that better?

 **Queen:** I suppose.

 **Joker:** Wait.

 **Joker:** _Wait._

 **Joker:** _I have a better idea_.

 **Panther:** Oh no…

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Hot Babes_  **~

 **Skull:** wtf

 **Panther:** akira are you calling yourself a hot babe?

 **Joker:** Hold on better idea.

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Hot Babes and Ryuji_ ** _~_

 **Skull:** wow rude

 **Panther:** still not answering my question.

 **Joker:** Ann I plead the fifth.

 **Panther:** of course you do

 **Fox:** So does that mean I am a “hot babe”?

 **Skull:** name of the chat should be “hot babes and yusuke”

 **Joker:** Sweetheart you are the hottest babe.

 **Joker:** Ryuji one more comment like that and I will forcibly remove you from the chat.

 **Panther:** akira.

 **Panther:** chill your gay.

 **Joker:** My gay doesn’t want to chill. My gay wants to let the pretty art boy know he’s the hottest babe.

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Yusuke is the Hottest Babe_ ** _~_

 **Fox:** Thank you?

 **Joker:** Anything for the hottest babe in the country.

 **Panther:** _akira_

 **Panther:** _chill your gay_

 **Queen:** Akira please stop changing the name of the chat.

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _changed the name of the chat to_ **_No let me be gay_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Gay4Yusuke_ ** _~_

 **Fox:** I…

 **Joker:** ;)

 **Queen:** Akira.

 **Skull:** o shit

 **Joker:** Shit.

 _~_ **_Queen_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Akira is about to lose his admin privileges_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** Please no.

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_W.A.F.F.L.E-O_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** I like this name we’re keeping it.

 **Queen:** Fine.

 **Queen:** Just stop changing the name every five seconds.

 **Joker:** Yes ma’am.

* * *

 

_June 30th 2017_

_8:29 pm_

**_W.A.F.F.L.E-O_ **

 

 **Joker:** Why do people kiss at weddings?

 **Fox:** I’m not sure. Hold on, I’ll look it up.

 **Joker:** Seriously why do I have to declare my eternal love to someone by pressing my face against theirs. Do you know how unsanitary that is?

 **Joker:** Ah yes I love how in order to signify my unfaltering love I must press my lips against the lips of the person I am declaring said love to in front of a large crowd of people who came to witness the binding of me and fiance. I love feeling their gross ass lip juices on my face as well as allow my gross ass lip juices to mix with their gross ass lip juices. Truly it is a lovely process.

 **Fox:** I don’t believe the purpose of kissing is to mix “lip juices” as you put it.

 **Joker:** God lip juices sounds really gross why did I put it that way.

 **Joker:** Who came up with kissing? Seriously who woke up and thought “hmm I should smash my face against someone else’s. Oh shit that felt nice I think I’ll call it kissing”??

 **Fox:** Apparently the way it used to be it was assumed that before the wedding the bride and groom had never kissed, so it was supposed to be their first kiss. Nowadays that’s not usually the case.

 **Joker:** And kissing in front of an entire room of people sounds like a good way to share your first kiss?

 **Fox:** It was most likely to signify something. If it means anything the kissing is apparently optional.

 **Joker:** “First kiss.” Do you know how awkward the first kiss usually is? Fucking hell. My first kiss was in a movie theater when I was 15. I asked her if I could kiss her and we didn’t know how to make it work so she decided to pucker and it was really kind of disgusting and super wet. Kissing is gross.

 **Fox:** One could assume that it would be wet. You are essentially just putting your lips together, and saliva comes out of your mouth.

 **Fox:** As well as other things.

 **Joker:** Ew. Don’t remind me of the shit that goes in and comes out of peoples mouths.

 **Joker:** Weird stuff goes in mouths.

 **Fox:** And comes out.

 **Joker:** Like dicks. Sometimes those go in mouths.

 **Fox:** And paint brushes.

 **Joker:** What?? Yusuke please don’t tell me you’ve been putting paint brushes in your mouth..

 **Fox:** Painters and artists sometimes will lick the paint brush bristles so that they keep their shape. This process is called tipping the brush.

 **Fox:** Obviously you wouldn’t do this with paint on the brush. That could actually cause harm to a person.

 **Joker:** I..

 **Joker:** Wait so do you lick your paint brushes?

 **Fox:** Cannot deny nor confirm.

 **Joker:** Yusuke

 **Joker:** Honey

 **Joker:** I love you but what the fuck.

 **Fox:** It helps the brushes.

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Yusuke pls

 **Joker:** Are they at least cleaned??

 **Fox:** Of course.

 **Joker:** Oh thank god.

* * *

_July 2nd 2017_

_7:34 am_

**_W.A.F.F.L.E-O_ **

 

 **Queen:** We officially have one week until our deadline. How do we know when the change of heart has taken place.

 **Joker:** Morgana said “you’ll know.”

 **Queen:** What exactly does he mean by that?

 **Joker:** The past couple of targets have been...different. Kamoshida was absent for a while as you probably remember, and funny enough on the exact deadline he got up in front of the entire student body and confessed. I’m sure you remember how _that_ went down.

 **Joker:** Madarame on the other hand… Yusuke could probably tell you more about it, but from what we gathered he was bedridden for a few days before he confessed on live tv. We’re not sure what happened with Kamoshida those days he was absent, but one can only assume.

 **Queen:** Are they supposed to confess in front of large bodies of people or..?

 **Joker:** “No. A change of heart just changes the distorted desires of the target, and what happens next is on them. You’ll know when a change of heart occurs.” -Morgana

 **Queen:** Hm… okay. I think I understand a little better.

 **Joker:** Just… you’ll know.

 **Queen:** Okay. I trust you. I apologize for having doubted you.

 **Joker:** Don’t worry about it. This is your first mission, you have every reason to be nervous.

 **Joker:** This is Ryuji, Ann, Morgana and my third “mission” I guess we’ll keep calling it ,and we still get super antsy. It’s honestly the waiting that’s the worst part.

 **Queen:** I must admit, the anticipation is killing me. As each day passes by I can’t help but get more nervous.

 **Joker:** Give it a little more time. We did everything right, there’s no way it could go wrong.

 **Queen:** Okay.

 **Queen:** We have a week left. I suppose we can wait and see what happens at the end of the week.

 **Joker:** Exactly. Try not to think about it too much, okay?

 **Joker:** After school Ann, Ryuji and I are gonna hang out a bit. You want to come with us?

 **Queen:** Thank you for the offer, but I have to decline. I have to fulfil some of my duties as student council president after school, and then I have to study.

 **Joker:** Alright. Just message the group if you change your mind.

 **Queen:** Thank you.

* * *

 

_July 1st 2017_

_2:04 am_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AK:** Hey do you have a moment? I know it’s two in the morning so maybe this isn’t the best time and I apologize about that.

 **YK:** I can always spare a moment for you.

 **AK:** Okay thanks. What are you doing up so late?

 **YK:** I was working on a painting and lost track of the time. It wasn’t until my phone went off when I realized how long it has been.

 **YK:** What are you doing awake at this hour?

 **AK:** I couldn’t sleep. Had a lot on my mind.

 **AK:** That’s actually what I came to talk to you about. I have a question for you.

 **YK:** Oh? What is it?

 **AK:** Okay. Well, uh..

 **AK:** This might sound really strange but I’ve been thinking about it all night and…

 **AK:** Have you ever considered getting your nose pierced?

 **YK:** I’m sorry?

 **AK:** I’m serious. Have you ever thought about getting a nose piercing?

 **YK:** The thought has never crossed my mind, no.

 **YK:** Why do you ask?

 **AK:** I was thinking about it and you would look really good with a nose piercing.

 **AK:** One of those chain ones, especially. You know uhh..these ones.

 **AK:** [ image.jpg ](http://cdn7.bigcommerce.com/s-btkl0/products/10665/images/19193/PE1075__18514.1445377789.500.659.jpg?c=2)

**YK:** I will admit, I have never thought about such a thing.

 **YK:** Do you really think it would look good on me?

 **AK:** I mean you look good anyways

 **AK:** But yeah, it would look nice. Different, too. It would make you stand out a lot more.

 **YK:** Hm. That’s an interesting concept, but I’m afraid I’ll have to refrain from taking such actions.

 **AK:** What? Why?

 **YK:** A nose pierce would be rather “unprofessional” in a school setting and it could potentially hurt my reputation.

 **YK:** Well, damage it more than it already is. Being known as “Madarame’s pupil” has damaged my reputation quite a bit as is.

 **AK:** _I will fight these fuckers. Whoever is being a douche to you because you’re Madarame’s former student is about to have a delinquent, criminal, and leader of the phantom thieves after them._

 **YK:** It’s quite alright. After word got out about what Madarame had been doing, things got easier. Of course, now I stick out and have to constantly deal with whispering and random students coming up to me and asking if I’m alright. It’s more of a nuisance at this point.

 **AK:** Are you okay? We never really talked much about what happened or how you’re holding up after it happened.

 **AK:** You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I just worry about you.

 **YK:** I will admit, while it hasn’t been easy I think I’m handling it just fine. I’m able to take care of myself and know what I have to do.

 **AK:** That’s not exactly what I meant. I know you’re taking care of myself given that you’re alive and healthy. Although you’re only sixteen and really shouldn’t be forced to be completely independant and on your own just yet. Hell, most of us have someone to help us and we’re still struggling.

 **AK:** Point is you shouldn’t be dealing with this. You should have someone there to try and support you instead of suddenly being forced into the void to take care of yourself.

 **YK:** I appreciate the concern but I can assure you that I’m okay.

 **YK:** I think.

 **AK:** You think?

 **YK:** I’ll admit, there’s..a lot going on inside that I’m not comfortable sharing. At least not just yet.

 **AK:** Okay. If you don’t want to talk about it that is perfectly fine and I’ll respect that.

 **AK:** Just know that I’m here to support you no matter what, okay?

 **YK:** Okay. Thank you for the continued support.

 **AK:** Anytime. I care about you and want you to know you can always rely on me.

* * *

 

_July 1st 2017_

_2:13 am_

 

Akira spared one last glance at his phone screen and sighed. The dead air of Leblanc’s attic was filled by the soft breathing of Morgana, who was currently asleep on the other end of the futon. Akira set his phone down, clicking it off, and rested it on his chest. His heart pounded angrily against his rib cage, almost threatening to jump out and run. _Two timing bastard,_ he thought in disappointment.

Why had that quick conversation with Yusuke worked him up so much? It was just another serious conversation, big whoop. He had had more serious conversations with people like Ann and Ryuji in the past. So what was so different here?

Why had Yusuke’s texts managed to cause such an indescribable feeling?

Why did it feel like worms were wriggling around inside his stomach, and with every new message he was suddenly so much lighter?

What was it about Yusuke that caused him to feel this way?

Ruling it as exhaustion, Akira pulled the thin blanket up to his chin and rolled onto his side. Maybe a little bit of sleep would fix the issue.

Or maybe that wasn’t the issue...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What?? I actually updated in less than three months after the last update??? Is this real?? Hell if I know.  
> Anyway, yeah. Take it. I haven't proof read it but what the fuck is that.  
> I finally managed to start up the Yusuke/Akira plotline. Before it was just kind of hopeless flirting from Akira's side of things but now would you look at this. Are we finally going to get some well deserved romance?? Listen it's been 13 chapters and all that's happened is Akira has called Yusuke pretty countless of times and Yusuke has been clueless to it all. Let's see what happens next.  
> Oh hey, here's a fun fact. The first kiss thing? That was actually what mine was like. At this point Akira is just sort of the embodiment of me, the trashy writer of this trashy fanfic. Is anyone surprised? Probably not.  
> OH YEAH I WANT TO GIVE A HUGE SHOUT OUT TO THE USER BLACKMAGIC622 FOR SUGGESTING THE CHAT NAME BE "WAFFLE-O." EVENTUALLY I WANTED TO INCORPORATE THAT INTO THE STORY BECAUSE DAMN IF THAT'S NOT CREATIVE. SHOUT OUT TO YOU MY DUDE.  
> Also shout out to the creator of the "hot babes and yusuke" post. If you haven't seen it it's super funny. Unfortunately I can't track down the original creator since it's been posted so many times, but shout out to that. Someone had said it would be super funny if I at least referenced that post at some point and so I did. Shout out to both of you.  
> I think that's it. Hope y'all had a nice holiday. This is being posted on Easter 2018 so I hope you guys enjoyed yourselves.  
> ~JN  
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818


	14. touchy feelsy shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: Anyways Kaneshiro confessed we changed another heart. Case closed let’s get drunk.  
> Skull: dude

_July 1st 20XX7_

_7:34 am_

 

**Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **YK:** Good morning.

 **YK:** I thought about what you said last night.

 **YK:** No one has ever quite been there to support me. Sure, Madarame was my teacher and taught me quite a bit, and for a time he was supportive of my actions and influenced me to continue strengthening and developing my art style, but he was never supportive in the same sense that you are.

 **YK:** Now that I’ve thought about it a bit more, I’m realizing just how “toxic” that entire situation was. I’m grateful for what you did for me.

 **YK:** This may sound strange, but I would just like you to know that while I do not completely understand why you always seem to be here to support me, the gesture is very much appreciated and I will do my best to reciprocate the gesture. In more familiar terms, I suppose you can count on me.

 **YK:** Anyways, I’m sorry to bother you. I just wanted to let you know. Have a nice day.

* * *

 

_July 1st 20XX7_

_8:03 am_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AK:** Ahh sorry for the delayed response. I slept in late this morning and then I had to help Sojiro with the dishes before going to school. I barely had any time to check my phone this morning.

 **AK:** I was actually thinking about it a lot too. I don’t know what it’s like to be in your position and I don’t think I ever will, but what I do know is that we all need someone to lean on during hard times. When I met you guys, I was in a pretty bad place if I’m being completely honest here. I’d rather not go into detail with it, but all you need to know is that I was pretty stressed. You as well as the others helped me out a lot.

 **AK:** Basically, what I’m saying here is that you were already there when I needed you. You’ve done more for me than you realize and I want to be there for you whenever you need me.

 **AK:** Shit, my homeroom teacher is giving me a dirty look. I should probably put my phone down.

 **AK:** Thank you. You’ve done so much for me.

 **AK:** Well I think I’ve used up most of my emotions. I gotta go before Kawakami murders me.

* * *

 

_July 1st 20XX7_

_12:16 pm_

 

**Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **YK:** My apologies. I didn’t notice my phone go off and did not think to check it until now.

 **YK:** I appreciate everything that you have done for me, and I cannot thank you enough for it.

 **AK:** Hey it’s no problem. You’ve been there for me so I’ll be here for you. Whether you know it or not, you really mean a lot to me.

 **YK:** I appreciate that. You mean a lot to me too.

 **AK:** Oh hey, I was wondering. After school do you want to stop by Leblanc? I could make you a cup of coffee and then I don’t know maybe we could hang out a bit?

 **YK:** I would hate to impose.

 **AK:** Don’t worry about that. It’s not imposing if I’m inviting you over.

 **AK:** You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I was just wondering. I could use a study buddy for upcoming exams.

 **YK:** I don’t even go to your school?

 **AK:** I assume they’re teaching the same curriculum. Aren’t exams coming up for you too?

 **YK:** Yes, in a few weeks actually.

 **YK:** Well, if you’re sure I won’t be a bother to you then I suppose we could make that happen.

 **AK:** Great! See you then.

* * *

_July 1st 20XX7_

_12:20 pm_

 

“You sure look happy.”

Akira looked up from his phone, only to be met with a set of concerned blue eyes.

Ann raised a finely plucked eyebrow at him. “Who are you texting?” She asked in a playful tone. A box of bento sat on her desk, and the soft chatter of the students eating lunch filled the classroom air.

Akira waved her off. “Don’t worry about it.”

Ryuji, who was sitting in a chair directly to the left of Akira, scoffed. “Dude. You have the same look on your face that Ann does whenever she talks about Shiho.”

“I do not.” Ann scolded. She reached over and lightly wacked Ryuji.

“Speaking of Shiho,” Akira started. He turned his attention to Ann and let his trademark Joker smirk spread across his face. “How is she?”

“Pretty and sweet and the best girlfriend I could ask for.” Ann replied. There was no hiding the fondness in her voice. Akira couldn’t help but think about how whipped she was. How ironic. The girl with the full body latex dominatrix suit and a leather whip was absolutely Shiho’s bitch. It was almost laughable. The world worked in strange ways, he supposed. “Over the weekend she actually took me on a boat ride in Inokashira Park. How adorable is that?”

“You see what I mean? Dude, she has the same exact look as you.” Ryuji exclaimed.

“Shut up.” The girl said. Her words held no malice over him. She flipped one of her pigtails over her shoulder, then turned her attention back to Akira. “Anyways, don’t change the topic. I asked you a question.”

The leader shrugged. “Last I checked I wasn’t bending over backwards for my best friend. No offense Ryuji, but you really are not my type. I prefer someone who can keep their temper when looking in the face of danger.”

“Hey!” Ryuji scoffed.

“Maybe so.” Ann said. She leaned on Akira’s desk, propping her head up in her hand.

Perhaps there was a hint of truth in Ann and Ryuji’s original statements. If Akira was honest, he had grown rather accustomed to Yusuke and all of his eccentricities.

Hmm. Maybe they were right.

* * *

 

_July 2nd 2017_

_12:05 am_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Ann Takamaki**

 

 **AK:** Hey quick question. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want.

 **AT:** what’s up?

 **AK:** How did you know you were crushing on Shiho?

 **AT:** uhhhh

 **AT:** i just sorta did? like i cared about her a lot and one day it just sort of made sense and suddenly i knew why my chest felt tight and why i got butterflies around her

 **AT:** does that make any sense?

 **AK:** Yeah, that makes sense.

 **AT:** why?

 **AK:** I was just curious.

 **AK:** Speaking of which, how is Shiho? You guys have been together for how long now?

 **AT:** almost a month. july 7th, it will have officially been a month since we got together <3

 **AT:** and to answer your question, she’s doing great. she’s come a long way since the incident, and while she’s not completely recovered just yet she’s getting there and i’m so proud of her

 **AK:** Shiho’s real strong. It kind of sucks that I didn’t get to see her much before...that, but I know already that she’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.

 **AT:** she really is. i look up to her a lot. she’s a brave little fighter and hasn’t stopped fighting since

 **AK:** She makes you really happy, right?

 **AT:** yeah. she makes me happy in a way i can’t even begin to describe

 **AK:** Is she happy?

 **AT:** i think so? she always seems to feel the same way, and she knows i would go to the ends of the earth to make sure she’s happy

 **AK:** Ann that’s…

 **AK:** That’s so gay.

 **AT:** normally i’d respond with “you’re gay” but honestly yeah, that is pretty gay.

 **AT:** is there a reason you’re asking?

 **AK:** Not really, I was just thinking.

 **AT:** about?

 **AK:** Nothing in particular.

 **AK:** Either way, I’m exhausted. Goodnight Ann.

 **AT:** night!

* * *

 

_July 2nd 2017_

_5:19 pm_

 

One thing Akira had come to notice was that hanging out with Yusuke one on one was much different then hanging out with someone like Ann or Ryuji. With Ryuji, it was mostly playful banter and teasing and typical “bro” things, he presumed. With Ann, it was all fun and games until it wasn’t, and then they were there for support. With Yusuke, it was serene. Akira felt like he could let most of his walls down.

Notebooks and paper littered across one of the empty booths in the back of Leblanc. The cafe was empty, aside from Sojiro who was washing dishes in the back. Morgana had left to go on a walk about half an hour ago, and had yet to return. That was fine, he’d be back later.

Yusuke sat across from Akira with a binder open in front of him. He scribbled numbers and letters across the paper, his gaze flickering between his binder and a worksheet. If Akira had to take a guess, he was working on some sort of algebra equation. Algebra had never been Akira’s strongest point.

Akira sighed and turned his attention to his own work. Ms. Chouno had given them some sort of english assignment, in which they had to define english terms and use them in a sentence. English wasn’t his strongest point either, but he wasn’t completely horrible at it. He was passing the class, and at the end of the day he supposed that was enough.

“Are you any good at english?” Akira asked. Yusuke looked up, alloy eyes shining.

“It’s not my best subject, but I suppose I’m decent.” He answered. “Why do you ask?”

Akira turned his paper towards him. “Do you think you could help me with this question? I’m a little confused.”

Yusuke reached over and scanned the question. “Hmm..I think I might have taken some notes on something like that. Hold on,” He turned his attention back to his own binder and flipped through the pages.

Eventually he stopped at a page, letters and characters unreadable from the distance. On the back of the previous page, a flash of various purples and blacks and whites caught Akira’s eye. Something Yusuke had drawn?

He reached a hand over and tapped the drawing. “Hey, what’s that?”

“Oh, this?” Yusuke raised a fine eyebrow. “I got bored during a lecture and started doodling. You can look at it if you want.” He slid his binder across the table, allowing the other boy to see it more clearly.

What Akira assumed was a dragon sat across the page, dark scrawls of ink highlighting its features. A white spade sat in the center. Dark shades of purple and blues so dark they were almost black covered the dragon, a bit of white thrown in as well. The dragon’s front claws sat on top of the spade, and its tail curled around the bottom of it.

“Woah.” The leader muttered. “Holy shit, that’s incredible. How long did it take you to make this?”

“It’s not completely finished yet,” Yusuke said with a shrug. “I still need to pay more attention to some of the details, and shade it a little more. It’s mostly something I’ve been working on in between lectures.”

Akira lightly traced the pad of his finger against the edge of the picture, careful not to smudge it. “That’s amazing. How did you draw this?”

“It’s nothing big, just a small doodle.”

 _Small doodle?!_ If that’s what Yusuke considered a doodle, Akira couldn’t help but wonder what he considered a serious drawing.

“What inspired this color scheme?” He asked. The usage of the blues and purples and blacks were an interesting choice, but they flowed so perfectly together.

A slight smile tugged at the corner of the other boy’s mouth. “I was going for a certain...theme, I suppose you could call it. I was inspired by an aspect of myself that I’ve come to discover.” He chuckled slightly.

Akira nodded in interest. “I’d be interested to know that aspect of yourself.” He reached his hand across the table and placed it on top of Yusuke’s.

“Believe it or not, I think you already do.” Yusuke muttered. Akira’s heart tightened.

“Hey, Akira.” Sojiro stepped out from behind the counter, his voice booming. Abruptly, the boy removed his hand from Yusuke’s and jerked back in his seat. One would think he had been caught doing...other...things with how suddenly he reacted.

Sojiro looked at him curiously but said nothing about it. “I’m going home for the night. Make sure you lock up.”

“Sure thing.” Akira responded. He shut his notebook, and slid Yusuke’s binder back over to him.

Sojiro nodded once. He put his hat on top of his head and approached the door. “One more thing.” He started. “Your friend should probably go home soon. The trains are going to stop running in a little while.” On that note, he jerked open the door and stepped out, the bell ringing behind him.

Yusuke shut his binder and put it back in his bag. “He’s right, I probably should be leaving. Thank you for taking the time to study with me.”

“Hey, it’s no problem.” Akira said. “I enjoy spending time with you.

Yusuke paused a moment, before responding. “I enjoy spending time with you too.” He placed his pencils back into his bag and zipped it up. The boy slid out from the booth and stood, Akira following suit.

“Here, I’ll walk you to the door.” The leader said. Yusuke nodded in response.

He shouldered his bag and they approached the door in silence. Akira yanked the door open and held it there.

Yusuke turned to Akira, most likely to say something, but whatever it was got lost. The two made direct eye contact, and Akira felt his head swimming. He could get lost in Yusuke’s eyes. Something like a bee stung at his heart, worms sliding around in his stomach.

Somehow, his gaze trailed down to the other boy’s lips. Soft, plump lips. What if he…

Yusuke cleared his throat. “Well, goodnight Akira.”

“Y-yeah,” He said. His voice cracked, and he mentally kicked himself. “Goodnight.”

The taller boy turned and left, and Akira let the door swing shut. He pressed his back against the door and slid down slowly, until he found himself sitting on the ground.

“Shit,” He cursed. “I am so fucked.”

* * *

 

_July 5th 2017_

_8:07 pm_

 

**_W.A.F.F.L.E-O_ **

 

 **Skull:** can u make eggs in the microwave?

 **Panther:** ryuji wtf

 **Skull:** listen im tired n hungry nd dont really want to go outta my way to make food

 **Skull:** can i just,,,micrwoave eggs?

 **Panther:** “micrwoave”

 **Skull:** shut

 **Fox:** Microwaving eggs works sometimes, you just have to be careful.

 **Panther:** yusuke,,,don’t tell me you’ve microwaved eggs before.

 **Fox:** Do I seem like the type that knows how to properly use a stove?

 **Panther:** yusuke,,,,,

 **Skull:** 1) dude,,,  
          2) thanks for the tip im gonna go microwave some eggs

 **Panther:** RYUJI

 **Fox:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Panther:** did yusuke just use an emoji

 **Panther:** holy shit akira is going to be disappointed he missed this

 **Fox:** Being in this chat for so long tends to rub off on you.

 **Panther:** i can see that holy fuck

 **Skull:** i cracked an egg and put it in the microwave

 **Skull:** how long do i keep it in for

 **Fox:** About 45 seconds. Take it out and stir, microwave for another 30-45 seconds, stir again. They should be ready afterwards.

 **Skull:** thanks

 **Panther:** YUSUKE

 **Queen:** I don’t know what’s going on but please do not microwave eggs.

 **Skull:** _i,m tired and hungry nd dont want to actually make food_

 **Skull:** also the pans are dirty and i dont want to clean one out rn

 **Skull:** i can take care of the dishes tomorrow after school, rn i just want to eat eggs and play video games to aviud doing homework

 **Panther:** “aviud”

 **Skull:** SHUT

 **Queen:** I’m sorry what is it you’re trying to avoid?

 **Skull:** …

 **Skull:** i mean i want to eat eggs an then do my homewok haha

 **Queen:** Perfect :)

 **Fox:** I sense danger in that smiley face.

 **Panther:** you and me both

 **Panther:** well this has been fun but i’m going to go do my homework before makoto throws down haha

 **Fox:** Good luck with that.

 **Skull:** eggs are done hell yeah

 **Queen:** Good. Now finish eating and do your homework.

 **Skull:** yes maam

 **Queen:** I still don’t like the idea of you eating eggs from the microwave.

 **Skull:** it be that way sometimes

 **Queen:** It shouldn’t be??? Make eggs in a frying pan???

 **Skull:** no u

 **Queen:** What??

 **Fox:** At this point I have learned to stop questioning the insanity. You get used to it.

 **Queen:** Oh. Does this sort of thing happen a lot?

 **Skull:** p much

 **Fox:** Indeed.

 **Fox:** There was an entire conversation about “elf practice” at one point.

 **Skull:** oh yea

 **Skull:** that meme died p quickly

 **Skull:** too bad to i thought it was kinda funny

 **Queen:** How are your microwave eggs?

 **Skull:** they taste like egg

 **Queen:** I would assume so?

 **Skull:** alright time to go play fortnite until i pass out

 **Queen:** Ryuji. Homework.

 **Skull:** that too

* * *

 

_July 6th 2017_

_5:49 am_

 

**_W.A.F.F.L.E-O_ **

 

 **Joker:** WHAT THE SHIT

 **Joker:** Can’t believe I missed Yusuke use the ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ face

 **Joker:** Anyways after school tomorrow we’re going into Mementos. Meet at the hideout tomorrow.

* * *

 

_July 7th 2017_

_9:16 pm_

 

**_W.A.F.F.L.E-O_ **

 

 **Queen:** I have a request.

 **Joker:** Proceed.

 **Queen:** Can we please stop saying “bang a larry” instead of “turn left” while driving in mementos?

 **Skull:** no

 **Joker:** Nope.

 **Panther:** nah

 **Queen:** I still don’t understand why you refer to it as “banging a larry” and “banging a randy.” Why not just say “turn left” or “turn right.”

 **Joker:** Bang a larry is funnier next question.

 **Queen:** It could be so simple. “Turn left.” “Turn right.” That’s it. Why make it so complicated.

 **Joker:** “Bang a l/r” is another way of saying “turn” and it sounds funnier. “Larry” begins with l, like the word left. “Bang a larry” is the same as saying “turn left.” “Randy” begins with r, like the word right. “Bang a randy” is the same as “turn right.” It’s funnier that way.

 **Skull:** we aint changing it

 **Queen:** Fine. Please just don’t let it distract your driving.

 **Joker:** No problem.

* * *

 

_July 9th 2017_

_8:39 am_

 

**_W.A.F.F.L.E.-O_ **

 

 **Joker:** Kaneshiro confessed to his crimes and was arrested. Suck my ass Akechi.

 **Queen:** While that is incredible news, need I remind you that we have finals next week?

 **Joker:** Finals are next week. Suck my ass Shujin.

 **Panther:** i don’t want to think about finals

 **Skull:** we should plan a celebration party for makoto

 **Queen:** I would appreciate that but we still have to study for finals.

 **Joker:** Finals are next week and I seek death. Suck my ass Principal No-neck.

 **Fox:** I wish you all good luck. Rest in peace.

 **Joker:** Just one piece? I’d like to think I’d go out in multiple pieces.

 **Fox:** That’s not what I meant?

 **Skull:** its a joke dude. hes messin with u

 **Fox:** I see.

 **Joker:** Anyways Kaneshiro confessed we changed another heart. Case closed let’s get drunk.

 **Skull:** dude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally updated look at that. One very long two hour writing session as well as some shitposting with my friendo got me here.  
> First things first, I made a few small edits. I changed the date from "20XX7" and gave a definite date. This now takes place in 2017. I did this because in the game there's a scene on New Years and I do intend to write that scene, so I needed an actual date. Maybe later I'll change that to a later date, like 2020 or something since Persona 5 takes place sometime in the future.  
> Alright well here's this. There's some important shit in here and I'm actually kicking off the AkiraxYusuke plot now hey look at that local demi who doesn't typically care for people or relationships is trying to write a slowburn fanfic huh imagine that.  
> The egg conversation? In a group chat I'm in one of my friends said that someone she knew microwaved an egg and it actually worked.  
> The bang a larry thing? That was suggested by my good buddy pal friendo Mike who actually recently read this fic. Thanks for the suggestion bb I hope you're proud of me. Recently on a trip to Houston we made they kept saying "bang a larry" and "bang a randy" instead of "turn right" and "turn left." For whatever reason it was super funny and we got this shit.  
> Anyways yeah that's it. As usual I didn't proof read and just want this updated so sorry for shitty grammar. Can't wait until the medjed plotline because boy do I have some,,,plans >:) Futaba coming soon hopefully.  
> That's all for now.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818
> 
> Oh yeah one more thing. I know next to nothing about art so I have no idea if what Yusuke was saying makes any sense? I know how to write (sorta) and how to act (sorta). I suck at art so I have no idea if that made any sense. My artist friend read that part and said it looks good but I'm still ??? skeptical ??? If any of you fellow artists want to correct me that would be great thank you so much.


	15. yusuke is a savage pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skull: heck  
> Joker: You are on thin fucking ice sir. Watch your goddamn language.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mostly filler sorry babes

_July 10th 2017_

_10:53 pm_

 

**_W.A.F.F.L.E-O_ **

 

 **Joker:** Hey uh I’m just saying that Mr. Hiruta is a twink sorry I don’t make the rules.

 **Skull:** dude

 **Joker:** [ boo.png ](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/024/574/Screen_Shot_2017-11-06_at_12.41.31_PM.png)

**Skull:** [ yep.jpg ](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/mobile/000/025/090/tumblr_inline_p1brmcd9Dk1rr08jv_500.jpg)

**Panther:** [ whenever-akira-says-anything.png ](https://78.media.tumblr.com/c0ce6a311f33426330b396f767b91143/tumblr_inline_oyww48RpVD1tqdwzd_500.png)

**Joker:** Hey Ann?

 **Panther:** yeah?

 **Joker:** Why tf is that named “whenever Akira says anything”?

 **Panther:** because that image describes you

 **Skull:** [ yeet.png ](https://78.media.tumblr.com/c0ce6a311f33426330b396f767b91143/tumblr_inline_oyww48RpVD1tqdwzd_500.png)

**Joker:** Ryuji don’t you dare.

 **Joker:** Put it back.

 **Skull:** :)

 **Panther:** hey @ryobi socialmotorboat

 **Panther:** [ clink-clink.jpg ](https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.346963157.0897/flat%2C220x200%2C075%2Ct.lite-1.jpg)

**Joker:** Don’t bring that back.

 **Skull:** wdym

 **Joker:** “Ryobi Socialmotorboat”

 **Joker:** [ ryobi.gif ](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/062/921/e89.gif)

**Skull:** africa kangaroo

 **Joker:** No.

 **Skull:** ant tamagotchi

 **Panther:** i heard my name?

 **Joker:** Stop.

 **Joker:** Ann you used to be so against this wtf.

 **Panther:** i was until i realized that we can use this at your expense

 **Joker:** Uh excuse me?

 **Panther:** yugio kitwater

 **Skull:** yugio kitwater

 **Joker:** Absolutely not.

 **Panther:** we never came up with one for makoto

 **Skull:** u right

 **Skull:** uhhhh

 **Skull:** mascara nimrod

 **Panther:** perfect

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Okay I kind of like that one.

 **Panther:** (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

 **Joker:** Anyways, back to the original topic. Mr. Hiruta is a twink.

 **Skull:** …

 **Panther:** _N O_

 **Joker:** Have you looked at him? He’s a twink if I’ve ever seen one.

 **Joker:** Actually wait…

 **Joker:** Hold on…

 **Joker:** You know who’s a twink?

 **Panther:** i don’t think i want to know

 **Skull:** …

 **Joker:** Akechi.

 **Skull:** KJHJHILKFGOIUTFGYJIHOUYTHJUK

 **Panther:** JOKER

 **Joker:** Am I _wrong?!_

 **Skull:** [ yep.jpg ](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/mobile/000/025/090/tumblr_inline_p1brmcd9Dk1rr08jv_500.jpg)

**Panther:** [ whenever-akira-says-anything.png ](https://78.media.tumblr.com/c0ce6a311f33426330b396f767b91143/tumblr_inline_oyww48RpVD1tqdwzd_500.png)

**Joker:** Look at him. He’s such a feminine guy it’s almost unbelievable.

 **Skull:** dude i passed by him in the underground walkway the other day n heard someone call him madam

 **Joker:** PFFT

 **Panther:** he would look really pretty in drag though. i wonder if he would let me do his makeup sometime…

 **Joker:** I thought you hated Akechi?

 **Panther:** i do but he’s still really pretty.

 **Joker:** You right you right.

 **Skull:** dude thats gay

 **Joker:** stfu I’m gay.

 **Skull:** thats..true

 **Panther:** i wonder what skin care products he uses. his skin is so clear

 **Queen:** Sorry to intrude, but need I remind you that you are all in class right now and should be paying attention?

 **Joker:** It’s fine. I’m in the twink’s class and he literally doesn’t give a shit, as long as I’m able to answer the questions he throws at me.

 **Panther:** akira you have ruined this class for me. i can’t even look at mr. hiruta without laughing now.

 **Joker:** Biology was already ruined.

 **Skull:** seriosuly. bio is so effin dumb

 **Panther:** “seriosuly”

 **Skull:** ann. shut.

 **Queen:** That doesn’t change the fact that you should all be paying attention right now. Exams are in a week and this is important information.

 **Skull:** makoto ur on ur phone too u have no right to tlak rn

 **Panther:** “tlak”

 **Skull:** ANN. SHUT.

 **Panther:** your typing is just getting worse and worse. slow down a bit, we can wait for a response.

 **Skull:** _ANN. SHUT._

 **Queen:** I’m on my phone to tell the rest of you to get off of your phones. If any of you fail your exams you will have hell to pay.

 **Skull:** i dont like the sound of that…

 **Panther:** sorry makoto!

 **Joker:** I would apologize accept I’m really not.

 **Skull:** whoops™ sorry makoto

 **Queen:** Return to your studies.

 **Panther:** haha sure thing :)

 **Skull:** sorry queen

 **Joker:** I don’t really feel like it.

 **Queen:** Akira.

 **Queen:** Pay attention.

 **Joker:** Depends. If I don’t, will you hit me with your motorcycle?

 **Queen:** If you don’t I will _make you_ wish I had hit you with my motorcycle.

 **Joker:** Hahahaha yep okay sorry Makoto I’ll pay attention and go back to be a Good Boy.

 **Skull:** that sounds kinky???

 **Joker:** UKHEIUWRHFIWEFSIIHUWIHFILC

 **Queen:** Akira. Ryuji. Pay attention. Now.

 **Skull:** yes queen

 **Joker:** Yes Queen.

* * *

 

_July 11th 2017_

_7:12 pm_

 

**_W.A.F.F.L.E-O_ **

 

 **Skull:** im lookin at fireworks festivals. theres one in shibuya 7/18

 **Queen:** While I appreciate that, you should be studying right now.

 **Skull:** consider this motivation

 **Skull:** so? whaddya think? 18th sound good to you?

 **Queen:** I’m fine with that so long as it works for the rest of you.

 **Joker:** That works for me.

 **Panther:** 18th? yep that should be fine

 **Fox:** That should be fine.

 **Skull:** awesome

 **Queen:** The eighteenth works. Now get back to studying.

 **Skull:** fine

* * *

 

_July 11th 2017_

_7:16 pm_

 

**Ryuji Sakamoto → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **RS:** hey can u study with me? i cant focus rn

 **AK:** Sure. I could use a study partner.

 **RS:** sweet. believe it or not ive been tryin to study but its such a pain u kno

 **AK:** Yeah, honestly. It’s easier to study with someone.

 **AK:** You want to meet at the diner in Shibuya?

 **RS:** sure thing

 **AK:** Okay I’m heading there now. See you in a few.

 **RS:** yep

* * *

 

 

  _July 13th 2017_

_3:20 pm_

 

**_W.A.F.F.L.E-O_ **

 

 **Panther:** ugh...day one of exams and i’m so over all of this. how many more days until the weekend?

 **Joker:** Four. Four more days until the weekend. We need to get through tuesday-saturday. Our last exams are on Friday.

 **Panther:** UGHHH

 **Skull:** i dont know about the rest of u but im going to pass out as soon as i get home

 **Panther:** same

 **Joker:** Same.

 **Queen:** That’s fine. I’m sure you all deserve a nap after a long day. Just remember to try to get some studying in later tonight, okay? We have more exams tomorrow.

 **Skull:** i cant promise that ill be awake until tomorrow morning tho

 **Joker:** Same.

 **Panther:** same

 **Queen:** It’s not even three thirty yet?

 **Joker:** What’s your point.

 **Queen:** That’s over 15 hours of sleep?

 **Skull:** perfect

 **Queen:** What?

 **Joker:** Listen Makoto, we’re mentally exhausted. Not all of us have your capacity for studying and are ready for a nice long depression nap.

 **Panther:** akira you’re always ready for a long depression nap

 **Joker:** Yeah that’s true.

 **Skull:** speaking of depression naps i just got home time for a depression nap

 **Joker:** God I wish that were me right now.

 **Panther:** same

 **Skull:** actually its less of a depresion nap and more of just being brain dead after exams

 **Fox:** I thought you were already brain dead.

 **Panther:** HGIYDEHOUYGWKUIYFTGH

 **Joker:** HOLY SHIT

 **Joker:** APPEARS STRAIGHT OUT OF NOWHERE AND IN FOR THE FUCKING KILL

 **Skull:** UH RUDE

 **Panther:** it’s like a sixth sense or something

 **Panther:** someone needs to be roasted? well here’s yusuke

 **Fox:** I don’t understand. It was merely a statement.

 **Joker:** Holy fuck this is amazing. I can’t believe I was here to witness _the_ Yusuke “Fox” Kitagawa completely roast Ryuji.

 **Panther:** i’ve been here to witness yusuke roast ryuji before and it is truly a sight to be held. he is ruthless

 **Joker:** I feel so blessed. I can die happy now.

 **Skull:** well eff this im gonna go pass out fuck you guys

 **Joker:** Love you too <3

 **Queen:** I don’t know what’s going on here but please try to get in a little bit of study time before tomorrow. We can’t have any of you failing, can we.

 **Joker:** Yeah. Makoto’s right, guys. If we fail then we’ll just stand out more, and standing out is sort of what we’re trying to avoid right now. After the whole thing with Kaneshiro, the police are going to seriously be cracking down on the Phantom Thief case. We need to lay low and make sure no one suspects us of anything suspicious.

 **Joker:** Well, in my case, they don’t suspect me of anything _other_ than what they already do. I’ve lost track of all the rumors but things finally look like they’re settling down?

 **Panther:** i wouldn’t say settling down. really it never settles down, at the moment they just have other things to focus on other than the school criminal. trust me, i know first hand that it never settles down, at least not for long

 **Joker:** Well shit.

 **Joker:** I’m going to go pull a Ryuji and pass out. Maybe later on if anyone else is awake we can get together and study last minute.

 **Panther:** good idea.

* * *

 

_July 14th 2017_

_6:05 pm_

 

**_W.A.F.F.L.E-O_ **

 

 **Skull:** day 2 is done and im so over this already

 **Queen:** Only a few more days and only a few more exams. Just hang in there.

 **Skull:** my brain is fried makoto. i cant handle a few more days

 **Queen:** Well that’s too bad, now isn’t it. You’re going to have to suck it up and give it your best effort. You can do it.

 **Skull:** i dont kno about that one…

 **Fox:** Are you sure Ryuji’s best effort will be enough.

 **Skull:** HEY

 **Queen:** Probably?

 **Skull:** WHY THE QUESITON MARK

 **Skull:** MAKOTO

 **Queen:** …

 **Queen:** In the words of Akira, “plead the fifth.”

 **Panther:** wow i can’t believe yusuke has roasted ryuji 2 days in a row

 **Queen:** It has truly been an experience.

 **Panther:** in the words of akira

 **Panther:** “i feel blessed”

 **Queen:** You and me both.

 **Joker:** I just woke up why is everyone quoting me

 **Panther:** scroll up

 **Joker:** oh

 **Joker:** OH

 **Joker:** I’ve never been so proud :’)

 **Skull:** rude

* * *

 

_July 15th 2017_

_5:27 pm_

 

**_W.A.F.F.L.E-O_ **

 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_depression nap central_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** You know I never used to sleep this much.

 **Joker:** Get home after school, do some homework, go to work or see a friend, get home and do more homework. Go out a bit, come back and lock up shop, then go to bed.

 **Joker:** That was the life.

 **Joker:** Remember when I didn’t come home every day and pass out on the couch because I’m too exhausted to walk the five extra steps to my futon?

 **Joker:** Yeah...good times.

 **Joker:** When are exams over again?

 **Panther:** tomorrow thank god

 **Joker:** Fuck.

 **Joker:** Me.

 **Panther:** no thanks :\

 **Joker:** No not you.

 **Panther:** no but i feel that. i used to hang out at the underground mall after school or go see shiho. now all i want to do is sleep…

 **Panther:** my brain has completely shut down for the day

 **Joker:** Same.

 **Joker:** On the bright side, Morgana hasn’t had to yell at me to go to bed for the past few days.

 **Panther:** that’s good

 **Panther:** i like the name change

 **Joker:** Thanks. It represents how I feel.

* * *

_July 16th 2017_

_3:32 pm_

 

**_depression nap central_ **

 

 **Joker:** THEY’RE FINALLY OVER

 **Skull:** HECC YEAH

 **Joker:** Hey. Watch your fucking language. That’s a naughty fucking work.

 **Skull:** heck

 **Joker:** You are on thin fucking ice sir. Watch your goddamn language.

 **Skull:** shoot

 **Joker:** That is a Bad Word Ryuji.

 **Skull:** dang

 **Joker:** _That is a Bad Word Ryuji._

 **Skull:** frick

 **Joker:** _THAT IS A BAD WORD RYUJI._

 **Queen:** Asking this question is probably pointless but are you two okay.

 **Joker:** No.

 **Skull:** no

 **Queen:** That’s what I thought… Do we need to call a doctor?

 **Joker:** No.

 **Skull:** no

 **Queen:** Well, at least that’s good sign.

 **Queen:** Do you think you’ll be able to recover before the fireworks festival on Sunday?

 **Joker:** No.

 **Skull:** no

 **Queen:** Will you at least be recovered enough to where you can join us?

 **Joker:** Yep.

 **Skull:** yep

 **Queen:** Wow… I swear, you’re two halves of one person.

 **Panther:** more like two halves of a whole idiot.

 **Joker:** Can’t believe Ann is trying to take Yusuke’s job smh

 **Skull:** it doesnt have the same effect sorry ann

 **Panther:** fuck

 **Skull:** [ u-tried.png ](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/325/934/060.png)

**Joker:** Well this has been fun but if you excuse me I’m going to pass out and hopefully wake up just in time before the fireworks festival.

 **Queen:** You are aware we have an entire day of school before this weekend, correct?

 **Joker:** _Yes. I am very aware._

 **Joker:** _Did I fucking stutter._

 **Fox:** Technically you couldn’t have stuttered seeing as how this is a text conversation.

 **Skull:** there he is

 **Joker:** Thank you Yusuke.

 **Queen:** Need I remind you that we are trying to _lay low,_  and if you skip school you’ll only raise more suspicions.

 **Joker:** Well fuck

* * *

 

_July 18th 2017_

_5:06 pm_

 

**_depression nap central_ **

 

 **Skull:** were still meeting at the underground walkway in shibuya right

 **Queen:** Yes.

 **Skull:** alright then where is everyone im by myself rn

 **Joker:** I’m on my way over. I’ll be there soon.

 **Skull:** great

 **Fox:** I’m headed over there now, too.

 **Skull:** alright cool

 **Panther:** Makoto and I are still getting ready. We’ll be there soon.

 **Skull:** k

 **Joker:** Can anyone else sense Ryuji getting more and more frustrated with every text?

 **Panther:** yep

 **Fox:** Indeed.

 **Skull:** maybe i wouldnt be so frustrated if u were actually here on time

 **Skull:** we said 5 its passed 5

 **Joker:** It’s… not even ten minutes past five. I think you’ll be okay. Besides, I’m stepping off the train now, I’ll be there in a minute.

 **Skull:** ty

 **Joker:** So there’s one thing I don’t get.

 **Skull:** yea?

 **Joker:** Why exactly do you want me to go without my glasses?

 **Panther:** change things up a little, you know?

 **Joker:** I..

 **Joker:** I need those to see…

 **Panther:** i think you’ll still be able to see the fireworks without your glasses

 **Joker:** You underestimate my vision.

 **Panther:** is your vision really that bad? In the metaverse you don’t wear glasses

 **Joker:** It’s not _horrible_ but my glasses do help me to see a bit. In the metaverse it's different, idk. 

 **Skull:** its no use arguing with her dude

 **Joker:** Ryuji you literally argue with her all the time you hypocrite.

 **Panther:** he speaks from experience akira

 **Panther:** he’s warning you from one bro to another

 **Skull:** that is not wats happening here

 **Joker:** That still doesn’t explain why you want me to go without my glasses I would much rather be able to see.

 **Panther:** just go with it

 **Joker:** I’m bringing my glasses with me just in case.

 **Panther:** fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you didn't see in the beginning notes, this is mostly filler. I was going to write the fireworks festival scene here but this was getting a little too long, so that will be next chapter. Gotta say, the dumb humor is real in this one.  
> I don't have much to say here aside from that this is mostly filler and me just fucking around. Credit goes to my friend Mike for the twink conversation idea. We had an entire conversation about how my shitty english teacher is a twink and thus that was inspired.  
> That's about it. Stay tuned for next chapter more coming soon.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818
> 
> oh yeah in this fic Joker's glasses aren't fake. There's nowhere in the game that says they are fake yet everywhere I look or everything I see, people say that they are probably fake.


	16. ryuji the thirst trap and akira gets cyberbullied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AT: were you even listening to him? or were you too busy trying to control your hard on  
> AK: Stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the story finally advances

_July 18th 2017_

_5:12 pm_

 

**Yuuki Mishima → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **YM:** hey i saw some disturbing news online.

 **YM:** i don’t know if it’s true or not but it sounds like it’ll be really bad if it turns out to be true.

 **YM:** _really_ bad

 **AK:** What is it?

 **YM:** apparently an insane hacker group is getting prepared to declare war on the phantom thieves.

 **YM:** i was afraid to hold onto that information myself so i figured i should tell you just in case.

 **YM:** that’s all i know right now :\ sorry. if i get more information i’ll let you know asap. sorry to bother you

 **AK:** Interesting… Thanks for letting me know.

* * *

 

_July 18th 2018_

_5:15 pm_

 

The soft brush of Morgana’s tail tickled the side of Akira’s face as the cat peered over his shoulder at Akira’s phone.

“Insane group? What could he mean?” Morgana muttered. “Hmm… Should we tell the others?”

Akira looked up briefly and scanned the two others standing a short distance away. Ryuji, decked in his typical neon muscle shirt, and Yusuke, a fine blue and purple yukata gently upon his form, seemed to be deep in conversation about who knew what. Ann and Makoto had yet to show up, and if Akira had to guess they were hopefully on the train.

The boy shook his head. “We can deal with this later. Right now, let’s just have a good time.”

Morgana’s nose twitched. “Good call. We’ll bring it up when we know more, right now we only have the little information Mishima provided to go off of. This could be prove to be a serious problem if this rumor turns out to be true, though.”

Akira reached up and pat the top of Morgana’s head -- much to his dismay -- and shrugged. “That’s true, but right now we shouldn’t think about that. This would be the wrong time and wrong place to talk about it. Besides, we don’t want to kill the mood. They look like they’re having a good time.”

A slight smile played at Yusuke’s lips and Ryuji let out a laugh, lightly shoving the other boy. Akira didn’t completely understand their friendship. They were polar opposites: Yusuke was cool and collected, level headed while Ryuji was loud and ready to explode at any given minute. Ryuji was a firecracker, while Yusuke was a block of ice. However, when it came to passion...sometimes, they were one in the same. They just expressed it differently.

Ryuji waved a hand over at Akira. “Dude! What are you and Mona mumbling about?”

“We’re talking about how you failed your exams.” Morgana cut in. His words were soaked in sarcasm.

“Sh-shut up! I didn’t fail ‘em, I was just…”

“Just?”

“I was distracted, okay?!”

“Distracted? Is that what you call it?” Yusuke said. He rose a dark eyebrow in amusement, as Ryuji’s face turned red with embarrassment and rage.

“Shut up! Cut me some slack, okay? It was a stressful week and I’m a bad test taker. It just stresses me out, I guess.” Ryuji swiped his forearm across his forehead. “Ugh, it’s so _hot._  Those girls are way too late.”

Akira mentally chucked at how quick Ryuji was to change the subject, but decided against it. He’d cut him a bit of slack for once.

Yusuke crossed his arms elegantly. “It must be taking time for them to put on their yukata.” He looked the other two up and down before adding “Why aren’t you two wearing one?”

“I don’t got clothes like yukata,” Ryuji groaned. He kicked at the ground with the toe of his blue high tops. “But man, you look way too normal in that thing.”

Yusuke hummed. “People often say that to me.”

“I can hardly blame them.” Akira murmured under his breath. Yusuke was stunning, and his yukata really brought out his eyes. Not to mention, it fit him rather well. Akira couldn’t help but enjoy the view.

Ryuji casted him a weird look but thankfully didn’t comment. Morgana lightly hit the back of Akira’s head with a paw.

At that moment, two girls in yukata -- one in a bright pink one, the other in black -- approached the group. Well, rather, they approached Yusuke.

Pink yukata twirled a lock of her hair around her finger. “Are you going to the fireworks festival?”

Yusuke gave them a suspicious glance. “That’s right.”

“Us too! Want to go together?” Black yukata squealed in a way somewhat similar to that of a pig.

Ryuji elbowed Akira in the side. “Are we getting _hit on?!_ ”

 _More like Yusuke’s getting hit on._ The leader thought. It left a bitter taste in the back of his throat.

Pink yukata giggled. “Come on, let’s go together.”

Black yukata lightly gripped Yusuke’s bicep. “Do you happen to be a model? You look great in that yukata.” She purred. It made Akira’s blood boil.

Out of the corner of his vision, Akira noticed a slight eye roll come from Yusuke.

“Waitin’ around’s a pain, so can we just go with these chicks.” Ryuji stage whispered. Akira liked Ryuji a lot, after all he was his best bro, but sometimes it was sad how desperate he was. Akira was tempted to hand the other boy a water bottle and tell him to quench his thirst.

Akira barely managed to keep from glaring. “No way.”

“Come on, we’ll apologize to the others later.”

Yusuke rolled his eyes again. “That’s enough.” His voice cut through like a knife.

“Yeah.” Akira slid closer to the artist and wrapped both of his arms around his waist. “He’s already taken. Get lost.”

Pink yukata and black yukata shared a look of concern. “Are… are you serious?” She asked.

Yusuke wrapped his own arm around Akira’s shoulder protectively. “That’s right. Is there a problem?”

“No. No problem!” Black yukata squeaked. She whispered something to her friend, and pink yukata nodded.

Akira’s heart thudded harshly against his chest as Yusuke pulled him closer. His own heartbeat echoed softly in Akira’s ear. Akira’s breath hitched, and the smell of lavender hand soap and body wash greeted him. He could only pray that on the outside he looked more calm.

“Either way, you’re disgracing your yukata. You should be more aware of your womanhood.” Yusuke lectured. The two girls turned to face each other, then scurried off.

Ryuji gasped. “How could you?!” Once again, Akira was tempted to throw his water bottle at Ryuji’s face. Sometimes, Akira thought Ryuji was going to die of dehydration.

“Why don’t you go after them, then?” A familiar voice hissed. Ann.

Ann approached the group in a baby blue yukata, Makoto trailing after her.

Makoto made a disappointed noise. “So _those_ are the kinds of girls you like, Ryuji.”

Ryujo gawked. “U-uh, well, that’s uh --”

Makoto raised up a hand to cut him off. Ann tossed one of her pigtails over her shoulder and spoke out to no one in particular. “You know, Yusuke is such a pretty boy but he’s really missing out on all these girls because of what he says.”

“I guess, but he’s more likeable since he stays true to his ideals.” Makoto protested. She sent a glare sharp enough to kill in Ryuji’s direction. “Unlike _someone_ I know.”

“I’m not exactly, ‘interested’ in females, to put it lightly.” Yusuke replied nonchalauntly. A bolt of lightning shot down Akira’s back, as if someone had cast _zio_ on him.

Ann widened her eyes, and Makoto whispered something to her.

Morgana snickered. “I heard that Ryuji’s pretty much failed his exams.”

Queen slowly turned her attention to said boy. _"Oh?"_  Her brows furrowed in disappointment. All in all, it was almost like a bad soap opera.

Ryuji growled. “Mona, you little --”

" _Hey._ It’s gonna get crowded if we don’t get going.” Ann cut in.

Yusuke nodded. “Agreed.”

Akira became painfully aware of the fact that Yusuke’s arm was still around him. He bit the inside of his cheek and let his own hand fall away from the artist. “Let’s go.”

Yusuke moved his arm, and Akira bit back a childish whine.

Maybe the fireworks festival wouldn’t be so bad…

* * *

 

_July 18th 2017_

_5:39 pm_

 

**Ann Takamaki → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **AT:** you and yusuke seemed to be rather close there

 **AK:** Some girls were hitting on him and couldn’t take a hint. I stepped in to get them to fuck off. It’s really not that big of a deal.

 **AT:** i dunno he seemed pretty content with his arm around you like that

 **AK:** It really isn’t like that.

 **AK:** Ann you are literally five feet away from me why are you texting me?

 **AT:** i didn’t want to say anything in front of the others

 **AK:** Fair enough.

 **AT:** so

 **AK:** So?

 **AT:** you sure held on longer than someone who was “just stepping in” would in that situation

 **AT:** normally someone would let go after the two girls left

 **AK:** Seriously it’s not like that. I was just trying to help him out.

 **AK:** Besides I doubt he’s interested in guys anyway.

 **AT:** akira. literally ten minutes ago he said he wasn’t into girls.

 **AT:** were you even listening to him? or were you too busy trying to control your hard on

 **AK:** Stop.

 **AT:** i’m just saying.

 **AT:** he said, and i quote, that he’s “not really interested in females”

 **AK:** Okay even if he _was_ interested in guys, which we don’t exactly have confirmation on, what makes you think he’s interested in _me?_

 **AT:** 1.) akira. not interested in girls. you’re smart. do the math.

 **AT:** 2.) he seemed content with his arm around you like that. that isn’t exactly a thing most “bros” do.

 **AK:** He probably just forgot it was there.

 **AT:** okay akira let me put it this way. would you wrap your arm around ryuji that way?

 **AK:** No. He’s my best friend, Ann. That would be weird.

 **AT:** and yet you talk about shit like your porn preferences with him?

 **AK:** What?! How do you know about that??

 **AT:** it’s ryuji we’re talking about. he’s such a loud mouth, you really think i wouldn’t hear him?

 **AT:** besides, we sit together at lunch. i overheard the conversation

 **AK:** Fuck.

 **AT:** either way quit changing the subject.

 **AK:** You’re the one who brought up porn.

 **AT:** shut up

 **AT:** okay so you wouldn’t cuddle ryuji like that. why would you do that to yusuke but not ryuji?

 **AK:** Are you really putting me in this box right now?

 **AK:** Because Yusuke is… different. I can’t explain it.

 **AK:** I don’t want to talk about this right now.

 **AT:** okay fine

 **AT:** i’m just saying

 **AK:** I know what you’re saying. Just leave it alone for now.

 **AT:** okay

* * *

 

_July 18th 2017_

_9:03 pm_

 

An array of beautiful, brightly colored fireworks shot across the night sky, overlooking the ocean. Some of them were a bit blurry without his glasses to see, but that was fine. Akira knew what was happening, and he supposed he didn’t have to be able to see perfectly when it came to fireworks. If he was being completely honest, he still did not know what the point in him coming without his glasses were, but it made Ann and them happy so might as well just go with it.

A soft pressure tapped against his shoulder. He turned his head slightly and his eyes met Yusuke. He signalled off towards the crowd in some direction. “I’m not sure if you can see them, but I just noticed the girls from the train station earlier.” His breath tickled the shell of Akira’s ear. “I don’t believe they were fully convinced we’re an item.”

Sure enough, off in the distance Akira barely spotted the carnation pink and pitch black yukatas of the two girls. He couldn’t help the dumb grin that pulled itself onto his face. “Guess we’ll just have to prove it.” He held out a hand, and Yusuke took it in his. Akira’s stomach crawled into his throat.

The fireworks were truly beautiful. They were brightly colored paint splatters across the canvas of the night. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was possible to capture a moment like this on paper. Sure, any artist could paint the scene. Crowds of people in the streets, streaks of color in the sky, blue ocean full of mystery and wonder. Multiple people had definitely painted scenes similar in the past. However, was it possible to capture every emotion that went with it?

Could anyone capture the excitement and childlike bickering between Ann and Ryuji about frivolous topics, or the slight motherly amusement from Makoto? Or what about Morgana’s snickers and commentary towards Ryuji’s moronic actions? Or what about the sharp pain in Akira’s chest cavity when Yusuke gently squeezed his hand, or the strange desire and excitement that shot through him when he rested his head on Yusuke’s shoulder, or the butterflies in the pit of his stomach that squirmed with every breath Yusuke took?

Something splashed against Akira’s cheek. With his free hand, he wiped his face off, only for it to be followed by another splash. Was it..raining?

Morgana ducked into Akira’s leather messenger bag. Lucky bastard.

Slowly but surely, the rain began to pick up. _Damn it,_

Bolts of lightning ran through the sky, followed by claps of thunder loud enough to cancel out the fireworks. One by one, the colors began to disappear.

Akira picked his head up off of Yusuke’s shoulder and began to walk with the rest of the crowd, his fingers still entwined with the other boy’s. He made no move to take his hand away. The rest of the group followed.

Somehow, they found their way under a seven-eleven doorway. Ann, who had been wringing out the water on her yukata, yelled at Ryuji to buy her a towel after catching him staring at her. Makoto pressed a finger to her forehead in exhaustion.

“Well this sucks,” Akira mumbled. “All this excitement, and the festival gets rained out.”

“It really is unfortunate.” Yusuke said with a headshake. Finally, much to Akira’s dismay, he took his hand away and ran it through his damp blue hair. A sleek black car drove slowly past the group, almost as if they were rubbing it in their faces.

“Son of a bitch…” Akira hissed. “We should try to get back to the train station soon, but for now let’s head inside for shelter.”

Ann nodded, and Ryuji tugged open the gas station door. The group piled in.

The isles were filled with people in yukatas who, most likely, had the same idea as them.

“What’s up?” Ann asked Makoto, who had been spacing out.

Makoto’s brows knit together. “I think I just saw someone I know…”

“You mean the girl in the black car?”

“At least she’s got a ride..” Ryuji grumbled, expressing what everyone else had been thinking.

“Hey, look on the bright side.” Akira said. “Maybe this will finally quench Ryuji’s thirst.”

“HEY!”

Ann shook her head, her pigtails swinging with her. “I doubt it. No water in the world can cure his thirst.” She sighed, and crossed her arms over her chest. “My feet hurt, it’s cold, the festival’s been cancelled… this sucks.”

Ryuji, who pointedly chose to ignore Ann’s first comment, lightly rubbed the back of his neck. “We made _such_ a commotion with the public, and this is what we get? Lame. Aren’t heroes that lurk in the shadows boring?”

Akira shrugged. “I like the shade.”

“What are you, moss? I wanna change the world with a loud bang, like a firework.” The boy complained loudly. Perhaps he had a point. “...Then again, we aren’t going to find someone bigger than Kaneshiro that easily.”

The comment reminded Akira of Mishima’s texts from earlier. Right… some hacker group. He couldn’t help but wonder where Mishima got that information from. And which group? Strange…

“The rain is letting up for now. Though it’s regrettable, we should go our separate ways for today.” Yusuke interrupted. Sure enough, the rain had calmed down a bit in the meantime.

“Yeah. Let’s go home.” Morgana said, peeking his head out of the leather messenger bag. At least he wasn’t dripping wet.

Akira nodded, and said farewell to his friends, then headed off in the direction of the train station.

* * *

 

_July 18th 2017_

_10:19 pm_

 

**Ryuji Sakamoto → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **RS:** hey dude i have a question for ya

 **RS:** u dont have to answer if u dont wanna

 **AK:** Okay. Shoot?

 **RS:** so uhhh wat was with the hand holding at the festival?

 **AK:** What?

 **RS:** u and yusuke were holdin hands while watchin the fireworks. it really wasnt subtle

 **AK:** Oh yeah. That.

 **AK:** He saw the girls from the train station and we thought it best to make sure they really did think we were together.

 **RS:** ok then why were u still holdin hands when we got to 7/11. idk about u but i didnt see the girls there

 **AK:** Oh that?

 **AK:** It’s no big deal.

 **RS:** nd whyd you step in at the train station when he was gettin hit on? he woulda been able to handle it himself i think

 **AK:** Better safe than sorry. He seemed a bit uncomfortable so I figured if I stepped in they would go away faster.

 **RS:** hey one more question. again u dont have to answer if u dont want to

 **AK:** Okay?

 **RS:** are u and yusuke a thing?

 **AK:** What?

 **RS:** u know,,,are u together? boyfriends and all that

 **AK:** No, we’re not together. Why?

 **RS:** it just seemed like it a little at the fireworks festival thats all. nbd

 **AK:** We’re not an item. As far as I know, he’s single but I could be wrong. I haven’t really asked him.

 **RS:** sorry but one more question

 **AK:** Sure.

 **RS:** do u like him??

 **AK:** Huh? What gave you that impression?

 **RS:** u just seemed real into him. i’ve seen u flirt with him a bit in the past nd thats cool but back there u seemed seriously into him i guess? like u were harboring some sort of feelings there?

 **RS:** its cool if u do man idc just as long as ur happy i guess

 **AK:** Honestly?

 **AK:** I don’t know how I feel.

 **RS:** wat do u mean?

 **AK:** I don’t want to talk about it right now. Sorry, it’s nothing personal.

 **RS:** nah i get it. ill stop asking questions

 **AK:** Thanks bro.

* * *

 

_July 19th 2017_

_7:09 am_

 

**_depression nap central_ **

 

 **Skull:** im assumin u guys say wat was on the news last night?

 **Joker:** Yep.

 **Panther:** yeah

 **Fox:** Yes.

 **Queen:** Yeah..

 **Joker:** Medjed just fucking called us out. “False justice” my ass. You think Akechi runs the Medjed website?

 **Panther:** didn’t they have akechi in that interview?

 **Joker:** Yeah. Relax, it was a joke.

 **Skull:** well shit

 **Fox:** I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see what happens next. For all we know, this might not be that big a deal.

 **Joker:** At the same time, this could also be a huge deal.

 **Joker:** Actually, that reminds me… there was something Mishima said to me yesterday that I should mention. I didn’t say anything at the festival because it didn’t seem like that big of a deal, and we’re still lacking information.

 **Queen:** And that is?

 **Joker:** Yesterday he texted me and said there’s a rumor that a hacker group was going to declare war on the Phantom Thieves. He told me that that was all he knew about the situation and would keep me updated. Morgana and I thought it would be best not to say anything to avoid bringing down the mood.

 **Joker:** Perhaps I should have said something sooner. I apologize for that, but I couldn’t find the right time.

 **Fox:** At least you’re bringing it up now, but it would have been nice to have heard in advance.

 **Joker:** I’m aware of that now. I’m sorry.

 **Queen:** Hmm… a hacker group? He was right. Medjed is a famous, anonymous, hacker group. What could they possibly want with us?

 **Joker:** Guess we’ll have to wait and see

* * *

 

_July 20th 2017_

_1:07 pm_

 

**Anonymous → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **Anon:** Nice to meet you.

 **Anon:** I am the one they call Alibaba.

 **Anon:** I want to ask you something.

 **Anon:** You’re a phantom thief, aren’t you?

 **Anon:** Can you really steal hearts?

 **Anon:** There is someone whose heart I would like you to steal.

 **Anon:** I’m not asking for charity. Let’s make a deal.

 **Anon:** You wish to know about Medjed, correct?

 **Anon:** I can give you information on them if the change of heart is successful.

 **Anon:** If you so desire, I can take care of them as well.

 **Anon:** Do you believe in my skills?

 **Anon:** I can track down their accounts, just as I have with yours.

 **Anon:** But this is all I can prove at the moment.

 **Anon:** I’ve prepared the necessary tool on my end.

 **Anon:** Look forward to it.

* * *

 

_July 20th 2017_

_1:10 pm_

 

**_depression nap central_ **

 

 **Joker:** Is one of you fucking with me?

 **Panther:** huh?

 **Joker:** Whoever’s doing it, it’s not funny.

 **Queen:** What are you talking about?

 **Joker:** stop.img 

**Joker:** Is this one of you?

 **Joker:** Ryuji??

 **Skull:** why r u targeting me?? no that aint me

 **Joker:** Is that one of you?

 **Panther:** it’s not me.

 **Fox:** I did not do it either.

 **Queen:** I would never do that.

 **Joker:** So this might be real…

 **Joker:** Everyone meet at the hideout after school. If this is a joke, it’s not funny. If this is real, we have to seriously talk about this.

* * *

 

_July 21st 2017_

_1:48 am_

 

**Anonymous → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **Anon:** Good day.

 **AK:** Who are you?

 **Anon:** Ah, you responded today.

 **Anon:** Once again, I am Alibaba.

 **Anon:** You are the leader of the Phantom Thieves, correct?

 **AK:** That’s right.

 **Anon:** Mm I appreciate your honesty.

 **Anon:** I take it you received the calling card?

 **Anon:** Are you at school right now?

 **AK:** I’m in class.

 **Anon:** Hmm, you’re a surprisingly diligent student.

 **Anon:** Now then, I have prepared the calling card for you.

 **Anon:** When are you going to steal it?

 **AK:** What are you talking about?

 **Anon:** Stealing a heart, of course.

 **Anon:** Aren’t you able to steal a heart as long as you have a calling card?

 **AK:** I need a full name.

 **Anon:**...A name? Is your heart thievery truly impossible without such information?

 **AK:** That’s right. We can’t steal a heart without a name.

 **Anon:**...I see.

 **Anon:** I suppose past calling cards did have names on them…

 **Anon:** One moment.

 **AK:** Take your time.

 **Anon:** Very well, I’ll tell you.

 **Anon:** I believe their name was… Futaba Sakura.

 **Anon:** If you fail this mission, I will expose your identity to the world and to the police.

 **Anon:** Well then, I’ll be counting on you. We shall speak again after the change of heart.

* * *

 

_July 21st 2017_

_1:54 pm_

 

**_depression nap central_ **

 

 **Joker:** alibaba.img 

**Joker:** Meet at the hideout after school. We have some more we have to discuss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah what the hell?? Jn's posting another chapter even though the last one was posted literally a day ago??  
> Yeah. I'm just as surprised as you. Inspiration hit me for this chapter during class today, so when I got home I started writing. And writing. And writing. I didn't think I would finish it, but here we are. According to google drive this is 10 pages. I was tempted to continue writing, but I think we'll leave it off here. Next chapter should be coming soon though. Oof, the Medjed story line has now been introduced. Pretty soon Best Girl Futaba Sakura will be involved hell yeah. Then maybe the real shitposting will start.  
> This was hardly proofread so I apologize for mistakes. Proof reading??? Don't know her.  
> Anyways here take it. Some gay shit for the soul, and some fluff and angst for the heart.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818 seriously I'd love to talk to you guys more


	17. shit starts to heat up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skull: sleep??  
> Joker: Schedule??  
> Skull: nope dont kno her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is mostly written format. next chapter should have more text format

_July 22nd 2017_

_10:17 pm_

 

**_depression nap central_ **

 

 **Joker:** I looked around Yongen and asked about Futaba. No one seems to know anything. It’s almost like she doesn’t exist. _Almost_.

 **Queen:** Did you ask Boss about Futaba?

 **Joker:** Sorta. It was… weird.

 **Queen:** What do you mean?

 **Joker:** When I got there, someone was already in Leblanc. They were grilling him about something, threatening to revoke his “custody” and something about “cognitive science?” Sojiro wasn’t in a good mood after the encounter, and the woman left shortly after I got there.

 **Joker:** I asked about it and he told me it was none of my business. Then I asked who Futaba Sakura is and he threatened to kick me out…

 **Queen:** Did he say anything besides that?

 **Joker:** Yeah, actually. He said “how do you know about that” and then basically shut it down, saying it’s none of my concern.

 **Queen:** He’s clearly not telling you something. If he asked how you knew about Futaba, then he’s obviously withholding information.

 **Joker:** That’s what I’m thinking, but I’m afraid to press him for answers. He could very well kick me out if I’m not careful, and in case you’re not aware Leblanc is kind of my only place to go right now. We can meet up at the hideout tomorrow and discuss it more in detail, but for right now I don’t have the energy to deal with this tonight.

 **Queen:** That’s fair. Well, get some rest. We can take about this tomorrow after school and figure it out from there.

 **Joker:** Okay. I’ll remind everyone tomorrow morning about the meeting. We have to talk about where we’re going to go from here.

* * *

 

_July 23rd 2017_

_4:17 pm_

 

Makoto’s eyebrows knit together and she placed a hand under her chin in consideration. “Hmm… a woman was threatening Boss?”

Akira had given the group a quick run down about the events that had occured the previous night. In attempt to figure out more about this “Futaba Sakura” he has asked around Yongen to see if anyone knew anything. After all, if she was related to Sojiro it seemed only natural that someone would know something about the mysterious Futaba. However, the only thing that had turned up was that Sojiro seemed to buy more groceries then necessary for one person. Perhaps it was some sort of a sign, or maybe Akira was just looking too much into it. Unfortunately, other than that, no one had known anything.

When he had gotten back to Leblanc, however, a woman with long silver hair and piercing eyes had been standing at the counter talking to Sojiro. No, not talking. More like interrogating. Akira had only been there to catch the very end. She had mentioned “cognitive science” and revoking Sojiro’s “custody.” What he had custody of, however, was unknown. Whatever had transpired had obviously soured the mood. Asking Sojiro about Futaba probably had not been the best idea at the given moment, but Akira had not had much of a choice. They were pressed for time, and the sooner they learned information about Futaba the better.

Morgana propped his paws on Akira’s shoulder and nodded once. “Yeah. She was going on about domestic abuse and ‘taking the case to court’ and such.”

Makoto made a slight noise and averted her gaze. Ryuji raised an eyebrow in her general vicinity. “Uh… What’s up?”

She shook her head. “It’s nothing.” Hesitation played at her voice, but no one pressed the issue further. They had other problems to focus on. She turned her attention back to Akira. “So to summarize what you told us, Futaba is Boss’s daughter and he’s abusing her?”

“From what we gathered, yes, but there’s likely more to it than that.” Akira stated. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

Makoto kicked the ground with the toe of her shoe. “I don’t know him very well. Is he really the type of person who would do that?”

“Honestly? I don’t know.” Akira sighed. “He doesn’t seem like the type of person who would do that, and he has never done anything to me personally, but we can’t say for sure. At one point, Madarame seemed like a genuinely nice person and a great artist, not the type of person who would emotionally abuse and destroy the lives of his students. Uh, sorry, Yusuke. Was that too far?” The last part was directed at Yusuke, who was leaning against one of the walls.

He shook his head. “No, you’re completely right. It doesn’t matter what type of person Boss seems to be. We do not have any solid evidence of abuse. However, it’s… best to be on the defensive.”

At that moment, Akira’s phone chirped from his back pocket, that soft “pi pi pi” noise it made whenever he received a text. Cautiously, he removed it from his back pocket.

* * *

 

_July 23rd 2017_

_4:20 pm_

 

**Anonymous → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **Anon:** I’ve given you the calling card _and_ told you the target’s name. You should be ready for this.

 **Anon:** Why aren’t you doing it?

 **Anon:** I told you I’d help if you stole her heart. What seems to be the hold up?

 **Anon:** I also said I would report your identity to the police if you didn’t help me.

 **Anon:** Are you okay with that? I’m serious here.

 **AK:** Tell me her keywords.

 **Anon:** Keywords?

 **Anon:** What are you talking about?

 **Anon:** Are you just saying random stuff to dodge the issue?

* * *

 

_July 23rd 2017_

_4:21 pm_

 

“What are we supposed to do about this?” Ann grumbled.

Morgana tapped one of his paws on Akira’s shoulder. “We’d be able to figure out Alibaba’s identity if we could just meet with him. Try asking if there’s anyway we could meet up.”

* * *

 

_July 23rd 2017_

_4:22 pm_

 

**Akira Kurusu→ Anonymous**

 

 **AK:** Let’s meet somewhere.

 **Anon:** Meet? With me?

 **Anon:** That will be… difficult.

 **Anon:** I have… reasons… for not being able to go out.

 **Anon:** That’s why I’m contacting you like this.

 **Anon:** Wait. I get it.

 **Anon:** You steal people’s hearts directly… That might make things difficult.

 **Anon:** _Extremely_ difficult.

 **Anon:** Hold on…

 **Anon:** I’m thinking…

 **Anon:** Okay. It’s a shame, but I’m calling off our deal. Stop looking into Futaba Sakura. Forget this ever happened. I won’t report you to the police, either, so don’t worry.

 **Anon:** Sorry for taking your time. Now if you’ll excuse me…

 **AK:** Who are you?

 **Anon:** I said the deal’s off.

 **Anon:** We’re never going to speak again. Don’t expect me to contact you anymore, either.

 **AK:** We’re not done here.**

* * *

 

_July 23rd 2017_

_4:25 pm_

 

“Fuck.” Akira cussed under his breath, staring down at his phone screen. At some point, the others had all gathered around him and had been reading over his shoulder.

Ann’s eyes widened. “Huh..? Did he just shut down the whole operation?” She twirled the end of one of her pigtails around her finger. A nervous tic of hers, he presumed.

Morgana made a noise somewhere between a growl and a sigh. “This doesn’t make any sense. Not only can Alibaba not go out, but he won’t let us meet Futaba either?”

Ryuji clenched and unclenched his fists, presumably also a nervous tic, or maybe something to help with his frustration. “Well, it’s none of our business now. We can’t contact him.”

“But… what do we do about Medjed? We won’t be able to get Alibaba to help us with them now.” Ann whined. She was right, and perhaps the only person in the group willing to bring up the subject. Akira hadn’t said anything about it for a reason. At least she was brave enough to say what they were all thinking.

“Maybe they were just prankin’ us?” Ryuji said with a carefree shrug. “They made that huge declaration, but they ain’t done nothing since. I bet we got ‘em freaked out.”

“You mean they backed out because they’re afraid we’ll change their hearts?” Morgana chirped from where he sat in Akira’s messenger bag.

“Yup. And now it’d just make ‘em look lame if they came out and apologized.”

“But--” Makoto started. However, Ryuji cut her off.

“I guess with Alibaba and Medjed out of the picture, can we just say this case is closed?”

Makoto sighed and took a moment to compose herself. “...You do have a point. I guess it is safe for us to relax a little.”

No one addressed the obvious elephant in the room. It would be nice to just relax and not have to worry about Medjed or their next target or being handed over to the police, just for a little while. It seemed obvious to Akira that there was something wrong with Ryuji’s theory about it all being a prank, but he could bring up his concerns another time. If it came down to it and they had to act, they would figure it out. For the time being, however, they had nothing to go off of except for one announcement made by an anonymous hacker group. They’d just have to wait and see what happened next.

“Oh yeah, remember Kaneshiro’s treasure?” Ryuji asked, a sudden ecstacy hidden in his voice. “Prepare to have your minds blown. We got one hundred and fifty thousand yen out of it!”

Ann practically let out a squeal of delight that she would go on later to deny. “That’s awesome! We can really go all out with that kind of money!”

Ryuji laughed and rested his arm on her shoulder. “Yeah! Let’s make up for what happened at the fireworks festival. We gotta go eat something fittin’ for the Phantom Thieves world wide debut!”

Akira put his finger to his lips and shushed. “Not so loud, would you? There’s other people here.” Part of him regretted picking the underground walkway for their secret hideout, given that it was in public and other people could see them. However, he elected to ignore that part of him.

“Hmm… where would be good?” Ann whispered excitedly to herself.”

“How about sushi?” Ryuji suggested.

Morgana gasped. “I’m all for sushi! You’re okay with that too, right Akira?”

The leader shrugged. He didn’t see why they couldn't go out and have some fun. “Fine with me as long as the rest of you are on board.”

“Alright, then it’s decided!”

“We’ll go tomorrow night.” Ryuji stated. “We can plan out a time and everything later, okay?

* * *

 

_July 23rd 2017_

_11:47 pm_

 

**_depression nap central_ **

 

 **Skull:** wats the meaning of life

 **Joker:** Ryuji are you high?

 **Skull:** no i wish

 **Joker:** God same.

 **Joker:** The meaning of life is curry.

 **Skull:** curry? dude are u high??

 **Joker:** No, curry is just really good. Sojiro makes the best curry.

 **Skull:** u right

 **Panther:** hey question

 **Panther:** have you two ever heard of a thing called a proper sleep schedule??

 **Skull:** sleep??

 **Joker:** Schedule??

 **Skull:** nope dont kno her

 **Joker:** Never heard of it.

 **Panther:** didn’t think so

 **Panther:** do me a huge favor and take this to a dm. unlike you two i need to sleep

 **Joker:** Fine

 **Skull:** ok

 **Panther:** thank you

* * *

 

_July 24th 2017_

_8:32 pm_

 

The sushi had been incredible. Aside from Ryuji almost letting it slip that they were the Phantom Thieves _again_ , overall it had been a great experience. The rest of the sushi had been wrapped up for later on. The group started back towards the subway.

“Oh! Niijima-san!”

The call of a very familiar voice caught the attention of the group.

Akira turned around, only to be met with the face of the second coming of the Detective Prince, Goro Akechi.

“What are you doing here?” His voice was pleasant and welcoming, as per usual. Welcoming in a way that sent shivers up Akira’s spine.

“Oh, Akechi-kun,” Makoto offered a warm yet surprised smile.

“Akechi…?” Ryuji growled. Akira put his hand on the his shoulder in attempt to keep him calm. Ryuji’s temper was a time bomb, constantly ticking. He was constantly on the verge of blowing up and when he did, he wasn’t afraid to take down anything in his path. It was a constant gamble, being with Ryuji.

Akechi turned his attention to the Akira, Ann and Ryuji, realization dawning on his face. “You’re the ones from the tv station. Are you friends of Niijima-san?”

“Do you know this guy?” Yusuke asked politely. Right, he hadn’t been on the field trip when they met Akechi.

“It’s nice to meet you. My name is Akechi,” The detective greeted Yusuke. “Glad to make your acquaintance, Yusuke Kitagawa.”

“How do you know my name…?” Yusuke’s words were coated in concern.

“You’re a former pupil of Madarame, correct?”

Right. Madarame had been a famous artist. Perhaps it was no surprise that Yusuke’s name had spread a bit, too, having once worked with Madarame.

Akechi continued. “I have actually just recently joined the investigation team looking into the Phantom Thieves. Did you see that Medjed has declared war on them?”

Ryuji stepped in, brushing Akira’s hand away from him. “War…?”

“Their website was updated just a moment ago.” Akechi pinched the bridge of his nose, as if just the thought of it gave him a headache. Well, that made two of them.

“For real?!” Ryuji snatched his phone out of his back pocket and powered it on, fumbling with it for a moment. “Dammit, it’s in english.”

Ann sighed and removed her pink cased phone from her back pocket. “Hold on, let me see it.” Having someone on the team who was bilingual was really helpful sometimes. She scanned the screen, before gasping. “Wait, what?!”

Ryuji looked over her shoulder. “What’s it say?”

“Um…” The girl paused a moment, as if taking a moment to translate it in her head.

Akechi raised an eyebrow. “Hm? Why do you seem so agitated?”

“Oh, uh…” Ann bit her lip, racking her brain for an answer.

Thankfully, Ryuji stepped in for her. “She’s a huge fan of the Phantom Thieves. Total nutjob for ‘em.”

Akechi crossed his arms thoughtfully. “I don’t know how wise it is to be a fan of groups like them.”

A sharp, threatening glare flashed across Makoto’s face. If looks could kill, they would all be dead. “What is with these comments?” Her words cut through the tense atmosphere, like a knife.

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to butt into your conversation.” Akechi said with a thoughtful smile. Akira couldn’t help but wonder how he was able to smile for so long. Didn’t it get exhausting, pretending to be happy all the time? Or maybe Akechi wasn’t pretending… it was hard to say. “I must say, though, this is an interesting group. Prosecutor Niijima’s sister, an ex pupil of Madarame, and a few Shujin Academy students. It seems you’re all connected to the Phantom Thieves. Perhaps you have better intel than I do.”

 _Dammit,_  Akira thought to himself. _Of course he was able to deduce that._

“Ah, yes. I wanted to ask you something.” Akechi stated. “Regarding this whole Medjed commotion, if you were one of the Phantom Thieves what would you do?” The question was directed towards Akira.

Akira shrugged carelessly. “Retaliate, I guess.” He could feel other’s eyes staring in disappointment. Hey, Akechi didn’t know who they were. Akira had to make it seem believable.

“So you share the majority’s opinion.” Akechi noted to no one in particular.

At that moment, Ryuji chose to interrupt. “Sorry to disappoint, but we’re just normal high school kids. If anything, we wanna hear what you gotta say Mr. Detective.” Somehow, he managed to stay level headed. His disgust, on the other hand, was obvious.

Akechi considered this, most likely debating how much he could or could not say. “My profiling has lead me to believe the Phantom Thieves are a group of juveniles.” That wasn’t too far off. At least two of them were considered “delinquents” and as far as Akira could tell, they were all considered outcasts. “They have a relative amount of freetime after school, and a hideout they can slip away to.” Okay that was one pretty close. Akira couldn’t speak for the others, but he had _some_ time after school. Usually his schedule didn’t free up until the evening, however. As for the hideout, well… he wasn’t exactly sure they could call it a “hideout.” “Furthermore, considering Kamoshida was their first target, it seems they began activity around April.” That one was rather self explanatory. “...In a way, all I’ve said about the Phantom Thieves coincides with the group you have here.”

_Shit._

Akira’s stomach dropped. Had Akechi figured them out? No, there was no way. He was just making a deduction.

“What, you gonna report us?” Ryuji snarled. His words dripped with venom.

“I didn’t say I was being suspicious of you.” The detective responded with a sly smile.

Akira put his hands in his jean pockets and with a single tone said “Ryuji’s a Phantom Thief.”

Ryuji stood straight up. “M-me?! You’re sidin’ with _him?!”_

Akechi chucked, brushing off the accusation. “I wasn’t anticipating that response. You always find a way to rise above my expectations. You really are an intriguing one. I lack your calm mannerisms, but don’t you think my deduction is an interesting one? I bet we’d make a great team if we worked together.”

“What?! The hell’re you saying?!” There it was. Ryuji’s explosion.

Akechi took a couple steps towards Akira. “I’m curious to hear what you have to say. You seem to be a wealth of information.” He turned his attention back to the group as a whole. “Well, this has been a valuable point of reference for me. I hope to see you all again?”

He gave them a friendly wave before stalking off.

* * *

 

_July 23rd 2017_

_8:37 pm_

 

“What was that about?” Ann stage whispered. A mask of disgust and annoyance spread across her face.

“You think he’s ascertained our true identities?” Yusuke said. Leave it to him to raise the question they were all thinking.

The encounter overall had left a bad taste, overall. Akechi was complex, and behind that fake smile and dumb jokes, there was clearly something more to him. While Akira wanted to avoid him, at the same time he wanted to figure out just how much the detective knew and wasn’t letting on.

Ryuji took his bottom lip between his teeth before releasing. “Couldn't be. Right?” His voice shook.

Makoto placed her hand on her chin thoughtfully. “I’d like to say that it’s simply us overthinking it, but…” Whatever she was going to say next got cut off. She shook her head. “It may be best to be cautious from now on. We shouldn’t forget that Alibaba was able to discover who we are.”

Yusuke sighed. “True, but it’s not as though he had tangible evidence to prove that discovery.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Just keep acting normally.”

Ann held out her phone. “More importantly, things are getting serious with Medjed. Here, I’ll read what they said.”

Akira looked over her shoulder at her phone. He didn’t know much english, but was able to make out a few words.

The girl scanned it a bit, most likely running a few mental translations. It couldn’t be easy to consistently decipher between English and Japanese -- supposedly two of the hardest languages to learn. “‘We are disappointed in the people of Japan and their belief in the Phantom Thieves’ false justice. Hence, we shall proceed with our plan to cleanse Japan. This process will commence on August twenty first. As a result, the Japanese economy shall suffer devastating damages.”

Ryuji hung his head in his hands and muttered a disheartened “for real?”

“Keep going.” Makoto said.

Ann kept reading. “‘However, we are magnanimous. We will give the Phantom Thieves one final opportunity to repent. As proof of this repentance, we demand that they reveal their identities to the public. We will attack if these demands remain unmet. The future of Japan rests with the Phantom Thieves. We are Medjed. We are unseen. We will eliminate evil.’ That’s what it says.”

Yusuke crossed his arms over his chest. “So in other words, if we don’t unmask ourselves, Medjed will attack Japan, correct? Seems they are quite the attention seekers.”

“If only we could get in contact with Alibaba…” Makoto whispered. She twirled a silver bracelet she had around her wrist.

Akira gnawed on his bottom lip. Somehow, he wasn’t surprised about the current situation. It felt too good to be true. “Just a prank,” yeah right. At least the sushi had been good. The break had been fun while it lasted, but when it came down to it, somehow trouble always seemed to find their way to the Phantom Thieves. Between Makoto finding them out and Alibaba and Medjed, somehow they always found themselves in situations like this.

Ryuji scratched the back of his head. “Our only clues are Boss and Futaba,” he hissed out. “Anyways, it’s too damn hot out here. Why don’t we go to Leblanc? We can talk more there.”

Akira nodded. “Good idea. Besides, at least there, there’s no chance someone will overhear us.”

* * *

 

_July 24th 2017_

_8:56 pm_

 

“It looks like we got no choice but to ask for Alibaba’s help.” Ryuji sighed. He leaned against the counter of the shop, with a face like he had taken a bite out of a lemon.

Ann slung one arm over the back of one of the booths. Her legs were crossed delicately over each other. She sighed. “Question is, how do we get in touch with him?”

“He cut off all contact with us after that misunderstanding. Then again, if we manage to steal Futaba’s heart, he may attempt to reach out to us once more.” Yusuke replied calmly.. Akira didn’t understand how he managed to remain so cool and level headed in this situation.

Morgana leapt out of Akira’s bag and onto the counter. “We don’t have any clues on what her keywords are.”

Ryuji knocked his fist against the counter. “Dammit, Alibaba. Where the hell are you.” Frustration was written all over him. Between his clenched fists and knit eyebrows, and the shimmer of pure rebellion in his eyes, the frustration and anger was very apparent. When it came down to it, Ryuji was the most likely to express his emotions. In a way, Akira couldn’t help but envy that.

Realization dawned on Makoto. She crossed her hands in front of her delicately, and her eyes widened. If it were a cartoon, one would have been able to see the light bulb over her head. “Actually, he may be closer than we think. Hypothetically speaking, even if we stole Futaba’s heart, how would Alibaba know that the deed has been done? Would he truly be able to discern that just from text messages?”

The six of them all shared looks, some of confusion and some of surprise.

Morgana spoke up first. “You mean he’d have to meet her in person?”

Makoto nodded once. “Alibaba was able to deliver the calling card here. On top of that, he can check on Futaba’s condition. However, according to the circumstances he put forth, he’s unable to meet with us. This leads me to believe that it would be bad for him if we were to see the two of them together. It seems to me that Alibaba may in fact be Futaba herself.”

“For real?!” Ryuji exclaimed. Seriously, how many times did he say “for real?” One could make a drinking game out of it.

Yusuke tucked a strand of blue hair behind his ear. “So she’s asking that we steal her own heart…?”

“Maybe she wants us to save her from the scars of her abuse? I mean, that would be hard to ask for directly.” Ann offered. Somehow, that didn’t seem quite right.

Makoto pursed her lips, picking her next words carefully. “I’d like to meet with Boss. He lives nearby, right?”

Akira considered this for a moment. Would this be okay? After all, there were still several loose ends and indefinite possibilities. He wanted to believe Makoto, and the concerns she had raised made sense, yet however she was going off of hypotheticals. It seemed plausible that Alibaba was in fact Futaba, but on the off chance he wasn’t…

 _Fuck it._ He decided. It was worth the risk. “I know where his house is.”

“It’s real late though. What’re we gonna tell boss when we get there?” Ryuji asked. Good question…

Makoto thought for a moment. “We’ll say that this take-out sushi is a gift for him.”

“But my fatty tuna…” Morgana protested.

Akira pat him on the head, much to his dismay. “Sometimes sacrifices have to be made.”

Ann wagged a finger at him like a scolding teacher. “No complaining, Morgana.”

The cat grumbled in protest, but other than that said nothing.

“Let’s all go together.” Makoto suggested. “Boss _may_ get the wrong idea if Akira and I were to show up alone.”

Right… When Makoto had been introduced to the group, Sojiro had thought that maybe something had been going on between her and Akira. Not that Makoto wasn’t a nice person and everything, but she just wasn’t his type. Somehow, he suspected that he wasn’t the type of person she was looking for either. Although, that would be pretty funny. The student council president dating the school criminal? That’d be one hell of a story.

Akira nodded in agreement. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What?? Another chapter?? Three chapters in one week??? Listen I'm just as confused as you are.  
> Then again, as of right now this is more story-driven and I'm just following the Phantom Thief plotline so there's not really much for me to be coming up with on my own, hence I guess why I'm pumping out chapters so fast. I'll try to get Futaba in within the next few chapters but... there's still more to be done first. Sorry about the lack of gay shit in this chapter. I was originally going to write the next scene but it was getting too long so I decided to cut it into two separate parts. There will be gay shit next time, I promise.  
> Yeah I think that's really it for this one. Sorry about the lack of actual text-format, after all this is a group chat fic.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr babs @jnoah818


	18. in this house we love and appreciate makoto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Queen: Yes, I’m fine. I apologize for the way I acted, I was just…  
> Joker: Spooked?  
> Queen: Yeah. I’m not good with that sort of thing. My apologies.

_July 23rd 2017_

_9:02 pm_

 

Three rings.

The doorbell had been rung three times, and yet somehow no one had come to the door.

Makoto shook her head in disappointment. “No one is answering, but the lights are on.” That was true. A couple of the windows looked into rooms that were still brightly lit.

Ryuji shrugged in response. “Maybe he’s nappin’?” He suggested.

“Even Boss would have woken up with how many times we’ve rung the doorbell.” Ann claimed in disgust. Somehow, Akira doubted that. Some people could sleep through just about anything.

Morgana poked his head out from Akira’s bag. “I would have think Futaba would have answered by now if she were here.” His ears drooped low in disappointment.

Yusuke lightly pushed at the gate, and it swung open with ease. “The gate is unlocked.”

Ryuji pinched the bridge of his nose. “Dude. You can’t go openin’ other people’s stuff like that.”

“Hey, look.” Makoto pointed towards the house entrance. “The door seems to be slightly open as well. Hmm… I wonder why. That’s rather careless.”

A loud boom, like the crack of a whip, echoed across the sky. Thunder.

Morgana yelped in surprise. “It sounds like it’s going to start raining soon. We should get inside.”

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Queen wondered in caution. Somehow, Akira didn’t think Sojiro would appreciate five high schoolers and a cat breaking into his house at nine at night.

“I mean...it’s prolly fine.” Ryuji waved her off.

“Literally not even two minutes ago you told Yusuke not to open other people’s stuff but now you’re suggesting we break into Sojiro’s house?” Akira chastised. “That seems a bit hypocritical to me.”

“Shut up!”

Makoto pressed two of her fingers against her temple. “My apologies, Boss.”

With ease, the gate was pushed the rest of the way open and the front door was shouldered open.

It felt… wrong. Did this technically count as a crime? They weren’t stealing anything and did have a reason to be there, but in a way they were still trespassing _and_ breaking and entering. Sojiro could, and probably would, call the cops if he caught them. The last thing Akira needed was to get arrested again.

“H-hello? Sir?” Makoto called out. Her voice shook a bit. She turned to Akira. “He’s not out, is he?”

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

“The door ahead is open and I can hear the tv.”

Ryuji made a noise. “I hope he didn’t pass out or somethin’. I mean, Boss is kinda old ain’t he?”

Ann shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably. “I’m a bit worried. Should we check on him?”

They crept further into the house.

Another loud crack sounded, followed by a quick flash of light. _Great, a storm. Just what we needed._ Akira thought in defeat.

Something like a shriek echoed in the otherwise barren hallway. Makoto jumped, practically pushing into Akira.

“A scream?! What was that?!” Panic crept into her voice.

Ann whimpered. She crossed her arms across her chest, as if giving herself a hug. “Let’s get out of here please? Can we just go?”

“Checking on him was your idea, genius. What are you freaking out for?” Ryuji hissed. She lightly punched him in the shoulder.

“I-I’m not freaking out.” She hissed in response. The stutter combined with how much more high pitched her voice was and her overall body language said otherwise.

Morgana dug his claws into Akira’s shoulder, in a way that was uncomfortable but not horribly painful. “Could it be Alibaba? I mean, Futaba?”

Ann shook her head. She marched forward, grabbing Ryuji by the wrist and dragging him with her. Yusuke shrugged and followed suit.

Makoto, who was still practically flush against him, let out a shaky breath. “Sorry but, um.. Can I hold your hand?” An icy fear coated her words. Under normal circumstances, he probably would have said no. Akira never saw himself as a particularly touchy person, not to mention Makoto was very much out of his league and could probably do much better than he had to offer. However, in this case, he felt it necessary given her obvious terror combined with his own anxiety and paranoia.

Akira nodded and held out a hand to her, which she gracefully took. “If you get scared, just squeeze my hand, okay?” He whispered to her. She gulped, and nodded.

“I can sense someone’s presence.” Yusuke commented in a hushed tone. Even he sounded a bit freaked out, although his posture said otherwise. Akira never knew just what he was thinking or feeling. He was difficult to read at times.

Makoto’s grip tightened. “Who is it…? Who’s there?!” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I can’t take this anymore I’m leaving.” She sounded on the verge of tears. A low, maroon panic bubbled in the pit of Akira’s stomach. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.”

She turned her head, most likely in attempt to flee. Akira followed her gaze.

A set of glowing eyes, almost like glass reflecting, started the girl straight in the face. A long dark shadow, about the size of a large child awaited them.

Makoto and the shadow simultaneously let out terrified yelps, and the person whom the shadow belonged to took off up the stairs. Makoto let go of Akira’s hand and stumbled back. She dropped to her knees and hung onto Akira’s leg. He could feel her trembling against him.

Akira let out his own shaky breath. That person, it must have been Futaba.

“Futaba!” Ann cried out. She must have pieced that together, too. “Come on, where are you? You’re a hacker right? Show yourself.”

Makoto buried her face in Akira’s leg. She let out a series of words that somehow all blended together in combination of panic and just her overall fast pace of speaking.

“Are you okay, Futaba?!” Sojiro’s voice echoed in the other room. So he was home.. Akira couldn’t help but inquire how he hadn’t heard the doorbell ringing.

Ryuji swore under his breath. “Crap, he’s home.” He took off behind one of the corridor walls, taking Ann and Yusuke with him.

“Three down,” Akira muttered to no one in particular. His heart thudded dangerously quick against his chest, threatening to jump out and run as fast as it could.

Makoto made no effort to un-attach herself from his leg. It seemed like running wasn’t an option, at least not with her clutching his leg like a koala.

The back door swung open, and Sojiro appeared in the doorway. Akira held his breath.

“Who the hell are you?! Don’t move.” Sojiro snarled.

 _Shit._ Akira couldn’t think straight. _Shit shit shit what do I do?_

A light flicked on, and Akira could only stare at it, similar to a deer. Makoto tightened around his leg. Her nervous blabbering somehow picked up in speed, and a soft sob escaped her. Was she crying?

“You..? What are you doing in my house?” Sojiro stammered, once the realization hit him.

Akira gulped. “Um… hi. Sorry.”

Makoto lifted her head away from his leg. “Uh… g-good evening, Sir. We, uh, didn’t mean to… intrude…” She managed to get out a coherent sentence between ragged breaths. She was still trembling.

Sojiro flicked off his flashlight and shook his head. “Niijima-san…” He crossed his arms. “Wait a minute. Are you two _dating?”_

 _What does that have to do with anything?_ Akira thought bitterly. Instead, he shook his head. “No, Sir.”

“We’re just friends.” Makoto squeaked.

“Friends nowadays get that close to each other?” Sojiro murmured, most likely to himself.

At that point, Ann, Ryuji and Yusuke re-emerged from their hiding spot behind the wall. “Hi…” Ann whispered.

“You kids are here too?!” Sojiro gasped.

“We uh, brought you some sushi but no one was answering the door so we came inside to make sure you didn’t like, pass out or something,” She rambled. “The door was unlocked and we could hear the tv so we just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“The door was unlocked?” He pressed his index and middle finger to his forehead. “I do that sometimes. Guess I’m getting old…”

At some point, Makoto had let go of Akira’s leg and stood on her own. She seemed a bit more composed and calm then she had a moment ago. “Um, excuse me. There’s something we’d like to ask you about. There’s… someone else living here, isn’t there?” The last part came out as more of a statement.

“Yeah. My daughter.” Sojiro answered in exasperation.

 _So he does have a daughter…_ Akira thought to himself. _That must be Futaba. If that’s true, then…_

“Could she be Futaba Sakura?” Makoto asked. She tilted her head slightly to the side, like a confused dog.

“You told Niijima-san too?” Sojiro demanded. The comment was directed at Akira.

Akira shoved his hands in his pockets, not completely trusting himself to speak properly just yet.

Makoto cut in. “Is there anyway we could meet with Futaba-san? I think we may have frightened her earlier, and we would like to apologize if at all possible.”

“Well… that’s not….” Sojiro started.

“Is she sick?”

“No. That’s not-” He rested his head in his hands and shook his head. “I don’t want you all getting the wrong idea.” He looked up, and stared directly at Akira. “I shouldn’t have kept this secret from you. Let’s talk at my shop. She’ll hear us if we stay here.”

* * *

 

_July 24th 2017_

_10:22 pm_

 

**_depression nap central_ **

 

 **Joker:** I suppose we should probably talk about what happened tonight.

 **Joker:** Makoto are you okay?

 **Queen:** Yes, I’m fine. I apologize for the way I acted, I was just…

 **Joker:** Spooked?

 **Queen:** Yeah. I’m not good with that sort of thing. My apologies.

 **Joker:** Don’t even worry about it. Are you better now?

 **Queen:** Yes. Thank you for checking up on me.

 **Joker:** So. Alibaba. Or Futaba, I suppose we should be calling her. Anyone have any input?

 **Skull:** i mean… at least we kno boss aint abusin her

 **Joker:** That’s true. However…

 **Panther:** she’s in a lot of mental pain. i can’t even imagine…

 **Panther:** joker we have to do something for her.

 **Joker:** Well, that is the plan. We made a deal with her, and now we need to hold our end of it. We need to figure out her keywords soon.

 **Queen:** Don’t forget about Medjed. Not only do we need to help Futaba, but we need to stop Medjed. That was the original intention of this mission, but now it’s become something more.

 **Queen:** Something a little more personal, I suppose.

 **Joker:** Exactly. Thank you, Makoto.

 **Fox:** How exactly do we intend on finding her keywords. Aside from what Boss told us about Futaba, we know next to nothing.

 **Joker:** Guess we’ll just have to ask her.

* * *

 

_July 24th 2017_

_10:43 pm_

 

**Yusuke Kitagawa → Makoto Niijima**

 

 **YK:** My apologies for disturbing you this late, but I have a question that I would like to ask you.

 **MN:** Oh, hello. You’re not disturbing me. What’s on your mind.

 **YK:** Excuse me if this out of line, but is there something going on between you and Akira?

 **MN:** What do you mean?

 **YK:** I mean as in “relationship wise.”

 **YK:** I’m not very good at reading between the lines so perhaps I’m looking at this the wrong way.

 **MN:** Me and Akira? No.

 **MN:** God no. He’s not exactly my type of guy, I suppose. Why?

 **YK:** I was just curious. Tonight, you were rather close to him, and I wasn’t entirely aware of the situation.

 **MN:** It’s not like that. I was frightened and anxious, and for whatever reason Akira just has this calming presence to him, you know?

 **YK:** I understand.

 **MN:** But no, there’s nothing like that going on. I don’t harbor any romantic feelings towards him if that’s what you mean, and I don’t believe he harbors any towards me. He seems a little more invested in someone else.

 **YK:** Right.

 **MN:** Well, I’m exhausted. I’m going to head to bed. Have a goodnight.

 **YK:** You too.

* * *

 

_July 25th 2017_

_7:05 am_

 

**Makoto Niijima → Ann Takamaki**

 

 **MN:** Hello. Sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to consult you on something if you have a moment before the assembly begins.

 **AT:** sure. what’s up?

 **MN:** Perhaps this is none of my business, but I just couldn’t get it out of my mind.

 **MN:** At the fireworks festival, did Yusuke and Akira seem a little _close_ to you?

 **AT:** so you noticed it too huh?

 **MN:** Yeah. They weren’t exactly subtle about it.

 **AT:** yeah well… i asked akira about it and he said there’s nothing going on but..

 **MN:** But?

 **AT:** akira has been prone to flirt with yusuke before. i’m sure you’ve seen a little bit of that flirting, right?

 **MN:** It’s possible?

 **AT:** one time akira started messaging me at like 12 in the morning talking about how pretty yusuke is.

 **MN:** Did he really?

 **AT:** yeah. although recently he’s had a little bit of a change in that? idk it’s weird

 **MN:** What do you mean?

 **AT:** i asked akira what was going on there at the train station and he brushed it off. he made it pretty clear he didn’t want to talk about it so i didn’t try to pry or anything

 **MN:** That’s peculiar.

 **AT:** a few days before then he has asked me about how i knew i liked shiho and wouldn’t explain why. i guess it doesn’t matter much why

 **MN:** Does Akira have feelings for Yusuke?

 **AT:** he won’t say. in the past he said it was more “lust” but now he won’t say anything about how he feels.

 **MN:** Judging from what you’ve told me, Akira likely feels Something. However, what that Something is we can’t say for sure. It would be a little unfair to label it as a crush, especially given there’s still so much more we don’t know. We don’t know exactly what’s going through Akira’s head.

 **AT:** that’s true.

 **MN:** How does Yusuke feel?

 **AT:** honestly i don’t really know. i haven’t asked him and yusuke is much harder to read since i don’t know him as well. hmm...

 **AT:** at the fireworks festival he seemed pretty content there with akira leaning on him. i don’t know about you but he doesn’t exactly strike me as the “touchy” type.

 **MN:** “Touchy type”?

 **AT:** you know, touch hungry. someone who requires a lot of physical contact and affection.

 **MN:** Yusuke doesn’t exactly seem like that type of person, however we can’t say that for a fact.

 **AT:** you’re right…

 **MN:** However, last night Yusuke did ask me an interesting question.

 **AT:** oh?

 **MN:** He messaged me and asked if Akira and I have anything going on.

 **AT:** well? what did you say?

 **MN:** I told him we were only friends. Akira is not exactly what I would look for in a romantic partner?

 **AT:** that’s fair. he’s nice and pretty attractive, but not everyone is into that kind of guy. at least not in _that_ way.

 **AT:** just..most people are.

 **MN:** Well, nevertheless, I guess it doesn’t matter too much. It’s not exactly any of our business and we don’t know enough to figure it out.

 **AT:** fair enough i guess

 **AT:** hey makoto? can i ask you something?

 **MN:** Of course. What can I help you with?

 **AT:** you said that akira isn’t what you look for in a romantic partner. what do you look for?

 **AT:** you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to i get it

 **MN:** Well. That’s a… complicated question.

 **MN:** I don’t have anything specific I look for. I suppose someone with a nice personality and who makes me happy. Um..

 **MN:** Perhaps someone with an entirely different build.

 **MN:** To that compared of Akira, anyway.

 **MN:** Well…

 **AT:** makoto. are you saying you prefer girls

 **MN:** Well uh…

 **MN:**...Would you be mad if I said yes?

 **AT:** makoto i am literally dating a girl. we were talking about two of our _male_ friends who might possibly be super gay for each other. why would i be mad at you for liking girls

 **MN:** I suppose you have a point… My apologies.

 **AT:** is there a girl you like or just in general?

 **MN:** There’s no one at the moment. I don’t know if I would have time for a relationship anyhow. However, in the past I have been interested in girls…

 **AT:** okay well that’s good! i’m here to support you and i guarantee the rest of the team will support you too!

 **AT:** after all, we have a bisexual, an lgbt ally, a cat who is besties with bisexual, someone who we’re fairly sure is a full blown homosexual but we can’t exactly prove that just yet, and myself who is dating a girl.

 **MN:** Thank you for the support. I really appreciate that.

 **AT:** anytime makoto. you’re part of the team, remember? you’re my friend of course i’m going to support you.

 **MN:** Thank you.

 **MN:** The assembly is starting soon. We should probably put our phones away. We are still meeting at Leblanc afterwards, right?

 **AT:** i believe so. let me ask akira real quick

 **AT:** he said yeah. see you later!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't proof read and I wrote it all in one sitting so don't expect too much. Hey somehow I managed to update this in just under a week. Don't ask me how I've been updating so fast. It's a little thing called motivation, I suppose. I don't understand where it's coming from but hey here we are.   
> Ayye we're getting somewhere with Futaba. I have a lot planned for the future so just you wait.  
> Also just wanted to say this real quick. Thank you so much to everyone for the kind messages. I've received so many messages from you guys in the past week and it has really made me feel so much better about this in general. I can't thank you enough for it. <3  
> I've been debating renaming this fic as of recently. Dumbass Persona 5 Group Chat Shit Because I'm UnoriginalTM had originally been a filler name yet here we are, 18 chapters in, and we're still referring to it as that. Do you think I should change it or just keep it the way it is?  
> That's it for now babs.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818
> 
> EDIT: HEY UH WHAT THE FUCK SINCE WHEN DOES THIS HAVE 500 KUDOS?! UHHH THANK YOU?? SO MUCH??? THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME AND I AM????? I shit you not as soon as I noticed I literally screamed "what the fuck" and have been in a state of emotional shock since then I am just??????? HHH????


	19. the great shrek discussion of 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skull: wait so  
> Skull: u arent into bondage?  
> Joker: Cannot confirm nor deny.

_July 25th 2017_

_8:46 pm_

 

**_depression nap central_ **

 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Tomb Raiders_ ** _~_

 **Panther:** hey akira

 **Panther:** _why_

 **Joker:** I’m sorry. The joke was too good to pass up.

 **Panther:** you’re not sorry

 **Joker:** Damn right I’m not.

 **Joker:** So. Futaba’s palace. Thoughts?

 **Skull:** UGH

 **Panther:** that about sums it up

 **Skull:** the heat is killin me and futabas shadow is annoying

 **Skull:** first we aint threats and its fine but then she goes and nearly kills us jfc

 **Queen:** There’s most likely a reason for that. It seems to me that Futaba really does want our help, but she’s scared. She’s afraid of what will happen if we get close, and she’s trying to prevent us from getting close to her.

 **Joker:** Exactly. That desire to keep people away manifested and affected her cognition.

 **Joker:** So because of that desire, we now have to work our way around all these booby traps.

 **Queen:** That’s precisely what I was thinking.

 **Fox:** Her palace has a nice aesthetic.

 **Skull:** art man has spoken

 **Panther:** art man has spoken

 **Joker:** Art man has spoken.

 **Fox:** “Art man”?

 **Joker:** Art man.

 **Skull:** also uhh i have a question

 **Skull:** ok so personas represent some part of like,, a persons cognition right?

 **Joker:** I believe so? It has something to do with cognition and the innermost thoughts of a person’s heart or something, and I believe each persona is different for every persona user. Why?

 **Skull:** akira,,,we have to talk about one of ur personas

 **Joker:** Okay. Which one?

 **Skull:** idk the name

 **Skull:** but uh...wats the chick in bondage represent…?

 **Joker:** You mean Angel?

 **Joker:**... Shit. It’s not what you think.

 **Panther:** joker…

 **Skull:** man im not gonna judge u

 **Skull:** but uhh

 **Joker:** She doesn’t represent bdsm I swear

 **Skull:** watever u say

 **Panther:** joker please keep your kinks out of the metaverse

 **Joker:** Okay lisTEN

 **Joker:** It’s not what it looks like

 **Skull:** dude r u…

 **Skull:**...into that

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Cannot confirm nor deny.

 **Panther:** akira…

 **Joker:** Okay please just hear me out it’s not what you think

 **Joker:** Angel doesn’t represent bdsm. I think, _I think,_ she represents more of some of my innermost thoughts and such. I don’t exactly want to get into it since that’d be going into some Deep Emotional Shit™ that I’m Not Ready To Deal With but yeah she’s more symbolic of some dumb emotion shit.

 **Skull:** …

 **Panther:** …

 **Fox:** I was not aware you had emotions.

 **Joker:** Neither was I.

 **Skull:** wait so

 **Skull:** u _arent_ into bondage?

 **Joker:** _Cannot confirm nor deny._

 **Panther:** that’s… really kinky

 **Joker:** CANNOT CONFIRM NOR DENY.

 **Skull:** i mean…

 **Panther:** i think at this point we sorta all figured akira’s a kinky bitch

 **Joker:** _CANNOT CONFIRM NOR DENY._

 _~_ **_Queen_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Akira has a bondage kink_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** Makoto I trusted you.

 **Queen:** I couldn’t resist.

 **Joker:** :\

 **Joker:** This is cyberbullying

* * *

 

_July 26th 2017_

_7:51 pm_

 

**Akira has a bondage kink**

 

 **Skull:** i swear the further we get into futabas palace the more i hate it

 **Joker:** We’re making some progress. This one… might take a while.

 **Skull:** yea no shit

 **Skull:** every time we almsot die i die a little more on the inside

 **Panther:** “almsot”

 **Skull:** shhhut

 **Joker:** Every time I read the new group chat name I die a little more on the inside

 **Fox:** You are aware you have the ability to change it.

 **Joker:** I know but I have no idea what to change it to.

 **Panther:** idk i kinda like the new name

 **Panther:** after all the times i have been kinkshamed for kinks that i don’t have it seems fitting

 **Joker:** Shut.

 **Skull:** the kinkshamer becomes the kinkshamed

 **Joker:** _Shut._

 **Panther:** paybacks a bitch isnt it

 **Joker:** ….

 **Joker:** Ryuji and Ann are no longer allowed to be Phantom Thieves. The team now consists of me, Yusuke, Makoto and Morgana.

 **Skull:** HEY

 **Panther:** wow rude

 **Joker:** It be that way sometimes

* * *

 

_July 27th 2017_

_12:48 pm_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AK:** Hey I have a question for you.

 **YK:** Yes?

 **AK:** This is going to sound weird but..

 **AK:** Do you dye your hair?

 **YK:** Excuse me?

 **AK:** Dude your hair is dark blue.

 **YK:** Yes, it’s dyed.

 **YK:** How many people do you know with naturally blue hair?

 **AK:** That’s what was confusing me. No one has natural blue hair but I’ve never seen your roots a different color or anything.

 **AK:** How often do you dye it?

 **YK:** Usually once a month or so. It depends, I suppose.

 **AK:** How long have you been dying it?

 **YK:** I’m not sure on how long exactly. A few years, maybe.

 **AK:** Really?

 **YK:** I believe so.

 **AK:** Why’d you dye your hair in the first place?

 **YK:** It was another way to express myself.

 **AK:** Okay but why blue? It’s a nice color but what lead you to pick that one?

 **YK:** There’s always a reason behind the colors chosen when painting. Each color is picked very carefully, as they are all symbolic of various different subjects, and depending on the color scheme the overall painting can symbolize something different. For me, I chose dark blue, as it is typically symbolic of subjects such as power and integrity. At the time I suppose I needed to remind myself of that.

 **AK:** Wow. I thought colors were just symbolic of emotions and shit.

 **YK:** Not exactly. Yes, that plays a part, but that’s not all they’re used to represent.

 **AK:** A lot more goes into this then I thought.

 **AK:** I mean I knew a lot goes into art but there’s...a lot more than I thought. How do you manage to put so much effort into each individual piece?

 **YK:** I’m an artist. It’s just what we do.

* * *

 

_July 27th 2017_

_4:29 pm_

 

**Akira has a bondage kink**

 

 **Panther:** hey do you remember the other day when we went out for sushi?

 **Queen:** Yes, what about it?

 **Panther:** remember how we ran into akechi at the train station?

 **Joker:** Yeah…?

 **Panther:** did it seem to anyone else like akechi was hitting on akira

 **Skull:** dude…

 **Joker:** What?

 **Queen:** Now that you mention it…

 **Panther:** he was getting a little close there

 **Joker:** Again. What?

 **Skull:** he seemed p interested in akira

 **Fox:** I suppose he seemed a little too invested there.

 **Joker:** It’s?? Not like that???

 **Panther:** it sure seemed that way to the rest of us

 **Skull:** dude akechi has a total hard on for u

 **Joker:** :\

 **Joker:** Ew.

 **Skull:** didnt u say u would fuck him

 **Joker:** I mean…

 **Fox:** …

 **Panther:** …

 **Queen:** …

 **Skull:** …

 **Joker:** No. I’d rather not.

 **Panther:** sure jan

 **Joker:** Ann this is cyberbullying

 **Panther:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Skull:** sorry to change the subject but have ant of u ever watched chicken little?

 **Fox:** No?

 **Panther:** OH MY GOD YES

 **Joker:** I LOVED THAT MOVIE

 **Queen:** I’m sorry what are you referring to?

 **Panther:** MAKOTO YOU’VE NEVER SEEN CHICKEN LITTLE

 **Joker:** YUSUKE HOW COULD YOU

 **Fox:** I never have the time or interest to watch movies.

 **Queen:** I don’t watch a lot of movies. Sis and I used to go to the movie theater with my father when we were younger, but now we don’t exactly have the time to watch movies.

 **Skull:** oh shit

 **Panther:** i’m sorry, makoto

 **Queen:** It’s okay, you didn’t know.

 **Joker:** Hey uhh next celebration party we’re watching chicken little.

 **Skull:** aight but thats not why i asked u about chicken littke

 **Skull:** can we all agree that he deserves like,,,a million times better

 **Joker:** You are one thousand percent right he deserves so much better than what he was given.

 **Joker:** And honestly Buck Cluck? He can suck my ass.

 **Panther:** buck cluck is the worst and i want to set him on fire

 **Panther:** use agi on his ass he is the worst

 **Skull:** buck cluck needs to fuck off and die

 **Fox:** I think I understand what you all are trying to say but it sounds much more vulgar than that.

 **Joker:** OPEHFWUHHOUQDHUWIE

 **Panther:** YUSUKE KUHADIUHOIHJ

 **Skull:** i mean…

 **Skull:** dudes right

 **Skull:** akira,,, please watch what u say

 **Joker:** OIEIHDHOI

 **Panther:** akira are you a furry?

 **Joker:** NO WOHDOIWEJ

 **Joker:** THIS IS CYBERBULLYING

 **Skull:** cant belueve akiras a furry

 **Panther:** “belueve”

 **Joker:** “belueve”

 **Skull:** _SHUT_

 **Fox:** It’s funny how you’re trying to tease Akira, Ryuji, yet you can’t even spell “believe” properly.

 **Joker:** ASGAKJDHLKJDHAIUYGWOIEDOIOH

 **Skull:** WOW RUDE

 **Panther:** ABSOLUTELY NO HESITATION JUST STRAIGHT UP IN FOR THE KILL

 **Queen:** That was ruthless.

 **Joker:** I am,,,so blessed to have been here to witness this. Yusuke, you beautiful human being I am so blessed.

 **Fox:** It was just a statement I do not understand.

 **Panther:** don’t worry about it yusuke just keep doing what you’re doing

 **Fox:** Okay?

* * *

  
_July 28th 2017_

_2:47 pm_

 

**Akira has a bondage kink**

 

 **Panther:** have you guys watched shrek because honestly the 4th movie sucks ass

 **Joker:** YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU BACKSTABBING LITTLE BITCH

 **Panther:** THE 4TH MOVIE IS TRASH COME AT ME

 **Skull:** ok but can we at least agree the 3rd movie is the worst out of all of them

 **Panther:** agreed

 **Joker:** If I’m being honest here the first three all kind of blend together and only the forth one feels like its own movie.

 **Skull:** thats,,,fair

 **Skull:** the 3rd one was wher wats her face gets pregnant nd theres a wizard dude trippin on acid.

 **Skull:** also prince fucktard gets killed

 **Joker:** That just sounds like an acid trip. Are you sure the entire movie isn’t the wizard dude tripping on acid?

 **Skull:** i mean.,,,,thats prolly what actually happened

 **Joker:** Okay but who got pregnant?

 **Panther:** fiona, shrek’s wife.

 **Joker:** Are… are you serious?

 **Panther:** yes

 **Skull:** yep

 **Panther:** oh yeah and at the beginning fiona’s dad, who was turned into a frog at the end of movie 2, dies and they have a funeral for him

 **Joker:** What the fuck? This sounds like a fever dream.

 **Joker:** What happened in the first two.

 **Skull:** OH BOY OK

 **Skull:** SO IN MOVIE 1 were introduced to our main character shrekathan who terrorizes the village bc hes an ogre nd thats wat they do

 **Panther:** his name was _not_ “shrekathan”

 **Skull:** shut up shrekathan sounds better

 **Skull:** also we meet a midget named lord fuckwit who wants to be king and is jerking it to princesses like a creep

 **Panther:** lord farquad

 **Panther:** also he wasn’t jerking off to them

 **Skull:** ok he wasnt actually jerkin it but if u look u can see he has a hardon for them

 **Panther:** okay that’s fair

 **Skull:** lord fuckwit wants to marry princess fiona who is locked away in a tower for some fuckin reason that well get into later prolly

 **Skull:** anyways back to shrekory

 **Panther:** don’t call him shrekory that’s worse

 **Skull:** shh

 **Skull:** so shrekory gets to his swamp nd its bein taken over. also he met donkey who is a talking donkey

 **Panther:** donkey is important how did you forget him

 **Skull:** _shh_

 **Joker:** Are you sure this isn’t just an acid trip?

 **Skull:** no but anyways

 **Skull:** shrekifer is like “yo why tf u assholes on my swamp THIS IS MY SWAMP”

 **Skull:** nd the fairy tale creatures r like “we were sent here by lord fapshit go talk to him dude”

 **Panther:** LORD FAPSHIT

 **Skull:** yes now let me continue

 **Skull:** so donkey nd shrekily go on a quest to see lord dipshit nd like they talk nd ogres have layers

 **Panther:** very important

 **Skull:** they get 2 lord dipshits castle nd keep off the grass n wipe ur ass

 **Panther:** how can you remember that but you can’t remember donkey

 **Skull:** the weird singing gremlin creatures say to wipe ur ass ann it;s a rule they put down

 **Skull:** u cant forget the rules

 **Panther:** sigh

 **Skull:** ANYWAYS

 **Skull:** so shrek nd donkey get to a thing and fuckword is like “yo fight to the death i dont like ogres”

 **Skull:** so shreketha fuckin smokes those bitches nd hes like “yo fuckshit wat do abt my swamp ho”

 **Panther:** why do you keep changing the names

 **Skull:** i like these names better

 **Skull:** fapshit is like “uhhhh go get princess fiona 4 me then u get ur swamp back”

 **Skull:** shrek is like “no u”

 **Skull:** fapshit is like “no u”

 **Skull:** so shrek is like “aight bitch if i do this i get my swamp back yea?” and fapshits just like “yea w/e get the princess for me ho”

 **Skull:** so shrekory nd donkey go on a quest 2 save fiona nd donkey fights off a dragon by wooing her (later they get married nd have babies which is like???? donkey my dude??? shes literally 10x ur height how did that even happen???)

 **Skull:** fiona thinks her prince came 4 her nd shrek is like “nah man im just on a mission”

 **Skull:** fiona finds our shrek is an ogre nd hes just like well fuk u too

 **Fox:** Ryuji what are you even talking about right now.

 **Skull:** oh hey yusuke

 **Skull:** ann nd i are summarizing shrek

 **Skull:** meanin im summarizing it nd every now and then ann corrects me or scolds me 4 changin the names

 **Joker:** It’s very amusing. Scroll up.

 **Fox:** Will do.

 **Panther:** yusuke have you ever watched shrek?

 **Fox:** I think I did when I was younger. I don’t completely remember but the name sounds familiar.

 **Skull:** well then heres a refresher for u

 **Skull:** anyways shit happens, the journey back takes a long ass fuckin time nd fiona is like “suns going down i need to sleep in this cave fuck yall gn”

 **Skull:** nd then more shenanigans ensue, they get their asses kicked by robin hood or wh nd shrek gets an arrow in his ass

 **Joker:** Is that a euphemism? I don’t remember this being a porno...

 **Panther:** no

 **Skull:** no

 **Panther:** he actually gets shot in the ass with an arrow

 **Skull:** yeah :\

 **Skull:** so after that bs shrek is like “damn im falling for her wat do”

 **Skull:** day 2 comes to an end n they stop at a shack. shrek picks a flower for fiona tht he wants to give to her

 **Skull:** donkey finds out fiona is an ogre bc she has a bullshit curse that makes her an ogre when the sun is down and can only be broken by true loves first kiss or wh which is honestly so dumb

 **Skull:** shrek overhears fiona nd donkey talking nd fiona is like “ew ogres r monsters” n shrekathan throws the flower down nd is sad an pissed

 **Joker:** Yep I remember that part. Don’t Shrek and Fiona like, get into an argument and Fiona goes to marry midget fuckshit?

 **Skull:** yee

 **Skull:** but like, at the wedding shrek stops it n is like “fiona ilu”

 **Skull:** nd shes like “ily2”

 **Skull:** they kiss n shes an ogre and is like “why am i not beautiful :(“

 **Panther:** “i was supposed to be beautiful” was the exact words i think

 **Skull:** ^ yea. that.

 **Skull:** and it ends with shrek n fiona getting married and a dance sequence oh boy

 **Joker:** Wait I thought Fiona became a human again?

 **Panther:** that’s in the second movie

 **Joker:** They all just blend together honestly.

 **Fox:** I wasn’t aware there was more than one Shrek movie.

 **Joker:** Wh?????

 **Joker:** How could you not????

 **Fox:** I don’t have time to watch a lot of movies this has been mentioned before.

 **Joker:** Yusuke are you busy right now?

 **Fox:** Not particularly. I was working on an art piece but as of right now, no. Why?

 **Joker:** Come to Leblanc. We’re watching Shrek.

 **Fox:** Okay?

* * *

 

_July 28th 2017_

_3:04 pm_

 

**Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **YK:** Were you actually serious about watching Shrek together?

 **AK:** Yes. I’m actually in the process of renting the first two movies.

 **AK:** Do you actually want to watch it with me?

 **YK:** I don’t have a problem with it. I just wasn’t entirely sure if you actually wanted me to come to Leblanc.

 **AK:** Why would I not want you to come to Leblanc?

 **AK:** Do you actually want to watch Shrek? We can do something else if you want.

 **YK:** I’m fine with anything, as long as it’s with you.

* * *

 

_July 28th 2017_

_3:05 pm_

 

Akira swallowed loudly. He read over the message one more time. A vine of thorns wrapped its way around his heart and squeezed tightly, the thorns digging into the soft flesh. There was no use fighting it; after all, struggling would only make it worse. Just because he was aware of it did not mean he couldn’t elect to ignore it.

He let out a ragged breath. Morgana looked over his shoulder, his whiskers tickling Akira’s neck from where he sat on Akira’s shoulder.

Morgana snorted. “You’re hopeless.”

“What?” It sounded pathetic, even to Akira. “What are you talking about?”

“Your cheeks are flushed red. He’s just saying he wants to spend more time with you.” The cat said with an eye roll. “You are so whipped for him.”

“Am not!” It came out as more of a squeak, which Akira would deny until the day he died. “He’s just… a friend, okay? He’s my friend and he means a lot to me.” He sunk his teeth into his bottom lip and bit down, the sharp pain quickly bringing him back to reality. Akira’s face was hot, as if someone had cast agi on him. He could only hope it wasn’t visible, however judging by Morgana’s previous comment he highly doubted that. It was just the heat of the sun, yeah? After all, it was the middle of the summer, and the sun was very bright and hot. He was just… sunburned? Yeah, sunburned. That was it.

Morgana lightly whacked the back of Akira’s head. “Respond to him, at least.”

“Right.” Akira took another ragged breath and with shaking hands, typed out a quick message.

* * *

 

_July 28th 2017_

_3:08 pm_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AK:** I’ll see you soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here take it. As per usual, it's not proofread because I don't know who she is. There's really nothing to say about this one just take it you heathens.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818
> 
> OH SHIT YEAH UHHHH THANK YOU FOR OVER 500 NOTES??? I ACTUALLY STARTED CRYING AT HOW MUCH POSITIVE FEEDBACK THIS HAS BEEN RECEIVING I CAN THANK YOU GUYS ENOUGH??? HHHHHHH HOLY SHIT THANK YOU SO MUCH?????


	20. "excuse me sir may i eat your ass?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panther: joker please never ask a shadow if you can eat its ass.  
> Joker: I’ll consider it.

_July 30th 2017_

_11:27 am_

 

**Akira has a bondage kink**

 

 **Panther:** hey are we going into the palace today?

 **Joker:** Yep. Right now I’m just making a few stops and am picking up some items. Meet in the attic at Leblanc at noon.

 **Joker:** @everyone Palace exploration day. Hideout at noon. We can go over a few things before we go in and should hopefully be able to knock out another level of Futaba’s pyramid. Got it?

 **Skull:** gotcha

 **Panther:** yep

 **Fox:** Yes.

 **Queen:** Yeah.

 **Joker:** Perfect.

* * *

 

_July 30th 2017_

_1:20 pm_

 

“Alright guys, let’s take a quick break and consult.”

Joker stood at the front of one of the safe room tables, his red-gloved hands pressed firmly against the tabletop. The others stood around them, some with their masks still on, others with them loosely held between their fingers. The leader quickly scanned the surrounding party.

“Joker, do you want me to check the perimeter real quick? There shouldn’t be any shadows nearby, but it’s better safe than sorry. I’ll try to see just how much further we have.” Mona spoke up. He crossed his stubby cat arms, which was almost funny. If it weren’t for the fact that Joker had seen Mona with a knife before, he probably would have laughed. If he was being honest, Mona was probably one of the strongest on the team. Then again, Mona had been the one to teach him about the Metaverse and how to use his persona.

“That would be great, but take a couple people with you. It’s dangerous to go alone.”

Queen nodded and spoke up. “Fox and I will go with him.” She nudged Yusuke in the side as she said that. “In case we run into shadows, it’d be best to have us go. Fox and myself have the most energy to spare, not to mention we need someone good with magic, healing and physical attacks in case.”

“Perfect. If you run into anything important, report back to me immediately. Got it?” Joker demanded. The three of them nodded in agreement, and they took off.

Panther pushed herself up on the table and sat, resting her feet on one of the benches. She sighed in exhaustion.

Skull, on the other hand, had sloppily thrown himself on to a bench, and had his face propped up against his fist. Joker calmly took a seat on the opposite side of the table. He took his black and white mask off and lazily tossed it onto the surface.

“Hey, Panther,” Skull muttered, nudging her in the thigh. She crossed her legs delicately over one another and removed her mask as well. “The floor is loving Shiho.”

Joker playfully rolled his eyes. “That meme died a while ago, Skull.”

“Nah man, it’s not dead. It’s just resting.”

Ann slid off the table and sat criss cross on the floor of the safe room, a soft giggle getting stuck in her throat. She turned to Ryuji. “Skull. The floor is loving Akechi.”

Skull’s mouth curved into a hard frown, and he moved his feet onto the table top. “Hell nah. I have zero love for that dude.”

Akira snickered. He stood on his seat and climbed up onto the table, spreading his body across it in plank formation. “Akechi is an asshole.” The comment was a little muffled.

“Damn dude, can’t believe Panther actually likes Akechi.”

Ann laughed. “I don’t feel like moving right now.” She twirled a loose lock of fair hair around her pink-gloved finger. “The floor is loving Yusuke?”

Skull put his feet down. Both he and Panther turned to face Joker, curious about what he was going to do. Joker, still basically planking across the table, rolled to the side and allowed himself to fall off the table and onto the dusty, concrete floor.

The impact hurt. As soon as he made contact, a sharp ache shot all across his body. He barely resisted the urge to hiss in pain. Instead, he turned on his stomach and pressed his face into the floor, and spread his arms and legs out like a starfish.

Skull and Panther howled with laughter.

“A-are you okay?!” Ann wheezed between fits of giggles. Tears pricked at the corners of Ryuji’s eyes.

“I’ve never been better.” Joker deadpanned. “After all, I’m buried in love for Yusuke.” Somehow, his voice remained study and monotone in a way that only he was able to accomplish. He exhaled through his nose, some of the dust blowing up into his face. He barely resisted the urge to sputter.

At that moment the door swung open. Queen, Fox and Mona sauntered in and promptly stopped in their tracks.

Queen raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Why are you two…?” She signalled between Joker and Panther, causing another fit of giggles.

Skull dismissed her comment with the wave of a hand and a goofy grin. “Don’t worry about it.”

Mona rolled his eyes and bounded over to the  table and hopped up. “Joker get off the floor.”

“I would except I’m burying myself in love.” Joker muttered. More sand got on his face, and if he weren’t as dedicated to the joke as he was, he would have at least lifted his face up.

Skull and Panther snickered again. They looked over at Fox, who hadn’t said much and was clearly perplexed by the situation, and the laughing only continued.

“My god, what happened in the five minutes we were gone.” Queen said under her breath, followed by a shake of the head.

Finally, Joker sat up, running a hand through his tangled black hair. “In all seriousness though, that hurt a lot.”

The statement caused more confusion between Queen, Fox and Mona and more amusement between Skull and Panther.

“Do you need any healing?” Panther managed to stammer.

He waved her off. “Nah, I’ll be fine. My head hurts a little but it’ll be fine.”

“Was it worth it for the joke?”

“Absolutely.”

Joker stood up and brushed himself off. “Alright, fun’s fun but we have stuff to do. Let’s get a grasp of our current situation.”

* * *

 

_July 31st 2017_

_9:37 pm_

 

**Akira has a bondage kink**

 

 **Panther:** so can we all simultaneously agree to overthrow our leader and kick him off the team

 **Queen:** All in favor?

 **Queen:** Aye.

 **Panther:** aye

 **Joker:** Um okay wow this is homophobic :\

 **Panther:** we weren’t the ones asking shadows if we could eat their ass

 **Joker:** We were just fucking around.

 **Joker:** Homophobia at its finest.

 **Fox:** I’m sorry what are you referring to right now?

 **Joker:** Ann and Makoto are just annoyed that I asked a shadow if I could eat her ass.

 **Fox:** Excuse me?

 **Joker:** Makoto, Ann and Ryuji were on the starting line up when I ambushed a shadow. While ripping off its mask I said “Excuse me Sir, may I eat your ass?”

 **Joker:** Turns out it was a woman.

 **Panther:** YEAH AND DURING A HOLD UP HE SAID “EXCUSE ME MISS WOULD YOU MIND IF I ATE YOUR ASS”

 **Panther:** AND IT JUST PISSED HER OFF MORE. SHE SUMMONED REINFORCEMENTS AND EVERYTHING.

 **Queen:** We could have been killed because this one thought it would be funny to ask a shadow to eat its ass.

 **Joker:** We kicked their asses it was worth it.

 **Queen:** It really was not.

 **Panther:** ryuji thought it was funny. it was not funny

 **Joker:** It was funny.

 **Joker:** Hey, at least Sandman appreciated the gesture. I have a new persona.

 **Panther:** is that the one with the moon face?

 **Joker:** Yeah. He’s not that powerful though.

 **Panther:** OH YEAH AND FUNNY ENOUGH JOKER ACTUALLY ASKED SANDMAN IF HE COULD EAT HIS ASS DURING A HOLD UP BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THE SNAKE LADY TOOK IT WELL.

 **Joker:** HE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY AND ALLOWED ME TO ACCEPT HIM INTO MY HEART IT WAS FINE

 **Queen:** I don’t think you should be asking random shadows to eat their ass.

 **Joker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Fox:** Why would you think that’s a good idea?

 **Joker:** Seemed like a good idea at the time.

 **Panther:** joker please never ask a shadow if you can eat its ass.

 **Joker:** I’ll consider it.

 **Skull:** dude wat if u asked a boss to eat its ass before an all out attack?

 **Joker:** YES

 **Panther:** NO

 **Fox:** Joker please do not.

 **Joker:** I’ll consider it.

* * *

 

_August 5th 2017_

_9:28 pm_

 

**Akira has a bondage kink**

 

 **Queen:** Ryuji please stop enabling Akira this is becoming a problem.

 **Skull:** listen i didnt think he would actually do it

 **Queen:** You should know better then anyone that Akira can and will do something like that.

 **Skull:** i said it as a joke it aint my fault he took it literally

 **Queen:** I think he knew it was a joke and that’s what scares me.

 **Skull:** i mean,,at least it was kinda funny??

 **Queen:** We… we could have gotten killed…

 **Skull:** but we didnt. and at least he was askin for consent

 **Fox:** That boss was in a coffin. How would one even go about accomplishing that task.

 **Queen:** Yusuke please don’t ask questions like that.

 **Skull:** u get em out of the coffin first then eat their ass

 **Skull:** smh not that hard

 **Queen:** Okay can we just make it a rule not to ask shadows about sexual acts? Please?

 **Joker:** I asked the coffin for consent. I wanted to eat his ass.

 **Joker:** Or her.

 **Joker:** We don’t judge based on gender here in the Phantom Thieves. There is no sexism permitted here.

 **Joker:** Besides, I’m pretty sure Ann and Makoto are two of the strongest on the team. I pity the poor asshole on the other end of Ann’s whip or Makoto’s brass knuckles.

 **Queen:** Thank you Akira. That still doesn’t change the fact that you asked a shadow in the middle of a _fight_ if you could eat its ass.

 **Joker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Joker:** Ryuji still thought it was funny.

 **Skull:** i mean it was funny

 **Skull:** but ur timing has never been worse

 **Joker:** Is that a challenge?

 **Skull:** dude no

 **Fox:** Please do not. As entertaining as it might have been, that was still a very risky and poorly timed comment to make. Keep in mind how strong some of these shadows are.

 **Joker:** Alright yeah. That’s fair. It was only a one time thing I promise.

 **Skull:** whipped

 **Joker:** SHUT

* * *

 

_August 4th 2017_

_7:37 pm_

 

**Akira has a bondage kink**

 

 **Skull:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYHzV2Y9UgY ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYHzV2Y9UgY)

**Skull:** im sorry but this is a mood

 **Panther:** OIHWDHU

 **Joker:** “When Futaba’s shadow tries to get you to follow her but leads you into another trap.”

 **Joker:** [ anger.jpg ](https://i2.wp.com/www.cutesypooh.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/ezgif-5-7faf4c88311.jpg?resize=400%2C400&ssl=1)

**Panther:** “when theres still more rooms to go”

 **Panther:** [ my-current-mood.jpg ](https://i2.wp.com/www.cutesypooh.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/ezgif-5-7faf4c88311.jpg?resize=400%2C400&ssl=1)

**Skull:** “when lamia wont let u eat her ass”

 **Skull:** [ same.jpg ](https://i2.wp.com/www.cutesypooh.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/ezgif-5-7faf4c88311.jpg?resize=400%2C400&ssl=1)

**Joker:** AASHSKLJDFLKSDJFLKJSLK

 **Skull:** WAIT I FOUND ANOTHER ONE

 **Skull:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29n2rrjXQgU ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29n2rrjXQgU)

**Skull:** SKIP TO 0:51

 **Joker:** Woah..what is that rat doing…

 **Joker:** Is it okay?

 **Skull:** idk man but i laughed way too hard

 **Panther:** GOD I RELATE TO THAT RAT

 **Panther:** when you still have like 5 floors left in futaba’s palace, it’s 90+ degrees, you’re almost out of energy and there’s no more healing items

 **Joker:** Do you guys know those weird pen topper things where you squeeze it and their eyes pop out?

 **Joker:** That’s basically that rat.

 **Skull:** wh

 **Joker:** [ https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51%2Bp%2BPWv0ML._SX425_.jpg ](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51%2Bp%2BPWv0ML._SX425_.jpg)

**Joker:** These things.

 **Panther:** WAIT I REMEMBER THOSE

 **Panther:** i used to have a unicorn one. ryuji do you remember me having one of those pens in middle school?

 **Skull:** ann i dont even remember wat i had for dinner last night

 **Panther:** i used that pen for everything you have no idea. it’s probably lost in my room somewhere

 **Skull:** wait hold on

 **Skull:** [ when-will-my-reflection-show.jpg ](https://www.corkyspest.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/rats-6.jpg)

**Skull:** this is a mood

 **Joker:** He looks so sad and lost. Poor little dude.

 **Panther:** ryuji did you really name the image file after a song from mulan

 **Skull:** listen that was a good fuckin movie

 **Panther:** i mean,,,you’re right

 **Joker:** That image is basically us waiting for the deadline.

 **Skull:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPXUG8q4jKU ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPXUG8q4jKU)

**Skull:** us stealing hearts

 **Panther:** ryuji why do you have so many rats?

 **Skull:** haha funny story

 **Skull:** lets just say i got distracted and now i want a pet rat

 **Panther:** kin

 **Joker:** Kin.

 **Joker:** Speaking of things we’re kin with.

 **Joker:** Anyone else relate to naked mole rats? Those things are fucking frowned upon but they just keep on trucking along, minding their own business, having a good time.

 **Panther:** kin

 **Skull:** thats fair

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Kin Fam_ ** _~_

 **Panther:** _kin fam?!_

 **Joker:** It’s better than “Akira has a bondage kink.”

 **Panther:** that name spoke the truth

 **Joker:** _It did not shut up._

 **Panther:** are you sure about that?

 **Joker:** _CANNOT DENY OR CONFIRM SHUT UP THIS IS BULLYING._

**Skull:** gottem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: "Kin fam" is actually what my group of friends have started calling each other. Shout out to Mike from Kin Fam who I know is reading this you asshole ily. It's a long story but all you need to know is a temporary name I came up with turned into the official title, and we have a tumblr blog, discord server, discord group and youtube channel for all of our dumb shenanigans.  
> Most of this was written in a day instead of doing work. The "excuse me sir may I eat your ass" came from an event last forth of July, when while driving up to see fireworks with a group of friends two of them kept leaning out the window to passing cars asking "may i eat your ass." I remembered it today and somehow this happened. I would apologize except I'm not. At this point I'm just trying to improvise. This is kinda filler but hey enjoy. Sorry this chapter is shorter than others, I was kinda running out of willpower and wanted to post something because I love you guys <3  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818


	21. emotional bullshit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Queen: Are you sure you want that? He microwaved an egg once, Akira.  
> Skull: stop shitting on my microwave eggs makoto smh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey uhhh TW: implied/referenced abuse, slight panic attack

_August 11th 2017_

_3:26 pm_

 

**Kin Fam**

 

 **Skull:** so uhh

 **Skull:** we might need to find another pt member

 **Skull:** specifically one with high physical and magic abilities

 **Skull:** magic that focus on ice preferably

 **Skull:** we might need a new artist too

 **Queen:** What?

 **Queen:** What happened to Yusuke?

 **Joker:** He’s fine we don’t need a new Fox.

 **Skull:** u sure? he looks a little...pale

 **Joker:** _He’s fine we don’t need a new Fox._

 **Queen:** What did you two do.

 **Skull:** so uhhh

 **Joker:** Funny story..haha

 **Skull:** akira ur the leader tell the nice lady wat happened

 **Joker:** Thanks for throwing me under the bus “bro”

 **Skull:** np dude

 **Queen:** Akira. What happened.

 **Joker:** Sigh..

 **Joker:** So Ryuji, Yusuke and myself decided to pass the time at this park and we found a playground right?

 **Joker:** There’s this weird spinny thing, I think they’re called “hold n spin’s” that looked kinda fun and Ryuji and I were just screwing around on it and spinning each other as fast as we could.

 **Joker:** You know, these things.

 **Joker:** [ sorry-yusuke.jpg ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/08/c0/2d/08c02d9ba4f0994be89652c64a422a3e.jpg)

**Queen:** Okay…

 **Joker:** For the most part Yusuke had kept his distance and was just drawing under a tree. He seemed kind of lonely so we thought we’d get him involved, right?

 **Joker:** Turns out there was a reason he was keeping his distance from the hold n spin.

 **Joker:** He gets motion sick, Makoto. We forgot about that.

 **Skull:** yea our bad,,,

 **Queen:** So you forced him on a spinning object even though he gets motion sickness?

 **Joker:** Yeah…

 **Joker:** Probably didn’t help that we purposely tried to push it as fast as we could.

 **Queen:** Are you serious right now.

 **Joker:** Unfortunately we are dead serious.

 **Queen:** Where is Yusuke right now?

 **Joker:** He’s kind of spacing out under a tree right now. Sorry Yusuke.

 **Queen:** You’re both idiots.

 **Skull:** i offered him some water if it means anything

 **Queen:** Is he okay?

 **Joker:** Yeah he’s fine, probably just a little dizzy. I’ll make him curry later to make up for it I promise.

 **Skull:** yeet

 **Joker:** Ryuji’s helping me make it

 **Skull:** shit

 **Queen:** Are you sure you want that? He microwaved an egg once, Akira.

 **Skull:** stop shitting on my microwave eggs makoto smh

 **Joker:** I’ll probably just have him stir or something. Maybe he can add some of the spices when I need him to.

 **Skull:** i would protest but yea thats fair i cant cook dude

 **Joker:** I know. At least half your diet consists of instant noodles and soda.

 **Skull:** thats...tru

 **Skull:** hey uh will boss mind u stealin his kitchen for a bit?

 **Joker:** I don’t know. I’ll just tell him that I’m proposing to Yusuke via curry or something I don’t know.

 **Skull:** r u sure hell buy that?

 **Joker:** Probably not.

 **Queen:** How’s Yusuke looking now?

 **Joker:** Better. He’s not spacing out much now. I think he’s recovered for the most part.

 **Fox:** I hate the both of you right now.

 **Skull:** HEY HE LIVES

 **Joker:** MY BOY IS ALIVE.

 **Fox:** Alive but at what cost.

 **Skull:** woah

 **Joker:** I mean… mood but are you okay

 **Fox:** No.

 **Fox:** Two delinquents thought it would be a good idea to spin me as fast as they possibly could. For at least two minutes I was seeing double.

 **Joker:** Sorry.

 **Skull:** sorry

 **Queen:** I will reiterate, the both of you are idiots.

 **Joker:** That’s fair.

 **Skull:** mayb so makoto

 **Joker:** Also I would just like to say, after all that and somehow Yusuke’s hair still looks flawless what the hell.

 **Joker:** Even Ryuji’s hair is messed up from how fast he was going and his hair literally should not be able to do that it’s so short.

 **Skull:** y would u notice that dude

 **Joker:** How is his hair still so beautiful.

 **Fox:** Sheer willpower.

 **Joker:** Teach me your ways.

 **Fox:** No.

 **Joker:** This is homophobic :\

 **Fox:** So isn’t spinning someone who gets severely motion sick what’s your point.

 **Joker:** I SAID I’M SORRY

 **Queen:** Aren’t the three of you in the same place right now?

 **Joker:** Yeah

 **Skull:** yep

 **Fox:** Yes.

 **Queen:** Why are you texting when you could be having this discussion face to face.

 **Skull:** no idea but good idea

 **Queen:** Ryuji, just you and Akira combined are taking years off of my life.

 **Skull:** fair

* * *

 

_August 16th 2017_

_5:48 pm_

 

**Kin Fam**

 

 **Panther:** how’s futaba-chan?

 **Joker:** Sleeping. She basically fell asleep. Apparently the knock back was real strong with this one…

 **Skull:** yea,,,and i thought i was tired after awakening my persona

 **Joker:** Yeah, so did I. At least I was able to get home before passing out.

 **Fox:** What did Boss say about it?

 **Queen:** He said that she gets like that sometimes. She’ll pass out, like she’s out of battery life, then wake up in a few days.

 **Skull:** will she wake up soon enough to stop medjed?

 **Queen:** We don’t know.

 **Joker:** Most likely. However we can’t be too sure, and in the event she is not we may need a backup plan.

 **Skull:** r u serious?! we spent all this time tryin to get futaba to help us n she might not even be awake in time to help??

 **Joker:** It’s highly unlikely it will come to that, but it is better safe than sorry.

 **Panther:** what are we going to do if she can’t help?

 **Joker:** We’ll figure something out.

 **Fox:** Do you have a plan?

 **Queen:** We’ll just have to prepare for the event and act last moment.

 **Skull:** thats not a plan makoto thats suicide

 **Queen:** Well right now it’s the best option we have. I don’t see the rest of you coming up with any other ideas, unless you happen to have another hacker on speed dial.

 **Joker:** As of right now all we can do is wait and prepare, okay? We still have five days…

 **Panther:** the media is getting restless…

 **Queen:** We’re aware.

 **Fox:** Everyone is wondering how we’re going to react and why it is taking us so long. We need to act as soon as possible.

 **Joker:** There’s nothing that can be done about that right now, okay? I’ll make sure to update you if there is anything to report about Futaba’s condition.

 **Joker:** On the topic of Futaba, however, there is something I would like to discuss…

 **Fox:** What is it?

 **Joker:** So when we got to the treasure, there was nothing in her sarcophagus. She was in fact the treasure herself.

 **Queen:** Yes??

 **Joker:** Her shadow returned to her vessel, hence allowing her to awaken to a persona. However, we didn’t exactly “steal” anything. She “stole” back what was rightfully hers by finally accepting the truth. In a way, it sort of reminds me of you, Yusuke.

 **Fox:** Her awakening had a lot less blood.

 **Joker:** Well, yeah. Her awakening in general was very different from anything we have ever seen before.

 **Joker:** We didn’t steal her heart. We just healed her heart.

 **Fox:** That is one way to look at it, I suppose. We caused her distorted desires to vanish and her palace did crumble, however as you stated we did not have to steal anything.

 **Queen:** That’s true. She stole her own heart, and in return she awakened to her powers. When she wakes up and is more comfortable, maybe she’d be willing to answer a few questions in regard to that. _Only_ if she’s willing. We don’t want to make her uncomfortable after everything she’s been through.

 **Joker:** We gave her the strength she needed to take back her own mind.

 **Queen:** Akira, make sure to keep us up to date with the situation. If and when she wakes up, let us know asap.

 **Joker:** Will do.

 **Fox:** _If_ she wakes up? Are you implying that her awakening may have killed her or put her in a coma?

 **Queen:** What? No that’s not what I’m implying.

 **Queen:** I phrased that horribly. My apologies. I mean when she wakes up, regardless of if it is before or after the deadline, let us know.

 **Joker:** On it.

* * *

 

_August 17th 2017_

_12:01 pm_

 

Shibuya was an interesting place. Several new sights always greeted Yusuke whenever he stepped out of his dorm, some opportunities practically begging to be captured and turned into a new art piece.

He sat against one of the stone walls in the Station Square, his sketchbook open in his lap. Soft, not yet identifiable marks of graphite covered the page, a basic staccato outline against the thin paper. Faceless strangers came and went, most not even batting an eyelash in Yusuke’s general direction. A stand selling lottery tickets stood tall to one side, a few buildings signalling the beginning of central street to the other. To some, perhaps most, it was just another typical day in Shibuya, nothing new or exciting happening. To Yusuke, however, it was practically a land mine of artistic opportunity right there at his disposal. All he had to do was pick what it was he was after.

He peered up from his sketchbook and turned his head slightly. Two girls stood a short distance away, giggling and clinging to each other as if they depended on one another. Nothing too particularly interesting, he figured. One of them, the girl on the left, caught his eye. She turned to her friend and whispered in her ear. The friend nodded in response.

Yusuke returned his attention back to his sketchbook. In short movements, more lines were added to the messy doodle. For the most part, it was supposed to be messy. It was just a roadmap for the drawing, and eventually it would become more clear.

“Um, excuse me.”

The boy looked up from his drawing. The two girls that had been looking at him previously stood in front of him. One of them, a petite school girl with chestnut hair pulled up in a high ponytail, clasped her hands delicately in front of her. Her friend stood behind her, nursing a soft drink that Ryuji would most likely have been seen with.

“Are you Kitagawa-san?” Ponytail asked. “Former pupil of Madarame?”

Yusuke set his pencil down suspiciously. “That depends. Who’s asking?”

The girl giggled. “My name is Hana Himari, and this is my friend Akari Ichika. We attend the same school as you. We’re first years.” Hana, apparently that was her name, quickly dropped a wink in her friend’s direction. Even to Yusuke, the wink was not subtle.

“Okay. Can I help you with something, Himari-san?” He raised an eyebrow, not entirely interested in what these two wanted from him.

Hana and Akari shared another look. It was almost infuriating how often they seemed to do that, and he had been in there presence for less than a minute.

Akari snickered. Straight, jet black hair cropped just below her jawline bounced as she turned her head. “Do you know anything about the Phantom Thieves? I mean, you _were_ taught by someone who the Phantom Thieves targeted.”

Yusuke made a “tch” noise. Of course that’s what they were asking him about. All this time, and he was still being questioned about Madarame. Even after everything he had been put through, he still was not ready to admit to everything just yet. If he were being completely honest, he wasn’t sure if he would ever be ready to admit to everything and confront his internalized emotions head on.

“Unfortunately, no. I have no knowledge in regards to the Phantom Thieves.” The lie slipped off his tongue easily, coming as natural to him as breathing. It was no wonder he was good at lying. After all, he had lied to himself for over sixteen years and had even convinced himself to believe it.

Hana twirled the end of her ponytail around a finger. “Sorry to put this so bluntly, but did you notice anything _strange_ about Madarame before his change of heart took place?”

Yusuke picked his pencil back up and turned his attention to his sketchbook once more. “Can’t say that I did, exactly. Everything seemed the same as usual until that conference.”

Another lie. At the time he hadn’t entirely realized it, but Madarame had began acting in ways that were considered “strange” for him. The psychological abuse had subsided for a time, and instead he had spent the majority of his time holed up in his bedroom. The toxicity of it all had almost seemed to disappear. _Almost._ Around Madarame, the toxicity never fully disappeared. Yusuke just had not realized it until he was forced to open his eyes.

Akari and Hana shared yet _another_ look. What exactly did they hope to achieve in doing that?

Akari crossed her arms. “Do you know anything about what the Phantom Thieves plan to do next? With Medjed and everything?”

He took a moment to consider the question, and all the given circumstances. What exactly did they plan to do? If Futaba didn’t wake up in time, what would happen? “If they exist, I’m sure they’ll act when the time is right. Otherwise, I have no knowledge of what they intend to do.”

“Are you saying you don’t believe in the Phantom Thieves?” Akari demanded. Yusuke was starting to get the feeling that she was the aggressive type. It was unnerving, really.

He delicately crossed his legs over one another. “I’m not saying they don’t exist. Anything is possible, after all. However, there is no definite proof they are real. How exactly would one go about stealing a heart?”

Hana shook her head. She put her arm out, pushing the other girl back a little. “You have a point, Kitagawa-kun. I, uh, wanted to ask you though. Are you okay? Given what Madarame was convicted of, I can’t even begin to imagine how that must feel. How are you holding up?”

_Am I okay…?_

Yusuke pondered the question a moment. He didn’t have a definite answer for that one. What did it even mean to be “okay”? What did it mean to say that he was okay even after years of abuse that he hadn’t even realized had been abuse until about three months ago? What did it mean to say that he had sympathised with his abuser, even adored him as “father” after everything he had been put through, until nearly the very end until he had been given every reason to despise Madarame. What did it mean to say that, sometimes, he still sympathised with Madarame and in a sick and twisted way almost missed him?

“I’m fine.” Yusuke said with a voice as cold as ice. He didn’t want to get into that, not now or ever.

“Okay, well, if you ever need to talk I’d be willing to listen,” Hana reassured with a soft smile. It was almost disgusting. She took a pen and scrap of paper out of her purse and scribbled something onto it before handing it to Yusuke. He took it in weary hands. “We’ll see you around, Kitagawa-kun?”

He nodded once, mostly to shut down the conversation. The two girls giggled once more before taking off.

On the slip of paper in his hand, in big swirly handwriting read **“Call me? -HH”** followed by a phone number. Yusuke packed up his sketchbook and stood to leave, the motivation to continue his art disappearing. He tossed the paper in the trash and headed in the opposite direction.

* * *

 

_August 17th 2017_

_12:33 pm_

 

**Kin Fam**

 

 **Fox:** So the weirdest thing happened to me earlier today…

 **Panther:** oh yeah?? what happened?

 **Fox:** These two girls, apparently first years at Kosei, came up to me asking about the Phantom Thieves. The asked me about Madarame and Medjed.

 **Joker:** Well? What did you say?

 **Fox:** I lied and told them I didn’t know anything.

 **Panther:** was that it?

 **Fox:** For the most part, yes. One of them gave me her number for some reason?

 **Joker:** Really?? Are you going to call her??

 **Fox:** No. Quite frankly, her and her friend were a bit of a nuisance and I would much rather avoid all interaction with them if I can.

 **Joker:** Oh thank God.

 **Fox:** Excuse me?

 **Joker:** That’s a good idea. If they were hounding you for answers about the Phantom Thieves, it’s best to stay clear of them. We don’t need them finding out anything about us, and there is a chance you could let something slip. Unlikely, but still a chance. We have to be careful around people like that.

 **Panther:** yes!!! i’m sure that’s exactly why!!!! you should not call them!!! don’t interact!!!!

 **Fox:** Is there any particular reason you felt the need to use that many exclamation points, Ann?

 **Panther:** what do you mean???? i’m typing just as i always do!!!!!!

 **Fox:** I highly doubt that…

 **Joker:** I don’t know, Ann, you seem to be typing _weirdly_ and if you know what’s good for you you should probably _stop that._

 **Fox:** Is there a reason you felt the need to italicize parts of that statement?

 **Joker:** _What are you talking about Yusuke I’m typing just as normal as always._

 **Panther:** haha yeah!!!! same as always!!!!

 **Fox:** The two of you are acting strange. Is everything alright?

 **Panther:** yep!!!!! just peachy!!!!

 **Joker:** _Yep everything is perfectly fine Yusuke._

 **Fox:** Hmm…

* * *

 

_August 17th 2017_

_12:38 pm_

 

**Ann Takamaki → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **AT:** so

 **AT:** yusuke got a girls number

 **AK:** And? It’s not any of my business.

 **AT:** you sure seemed intent on telling him to avoid the girl who gave him her number

 **AK:** She could be a potential threat if she finds out who we are. I was just advising him to be cautious.

 **AT:** that’s not all you intended

 **AT:** _spill kurusu_

 **AK:** Ann I really do not know what you want from me right now. I’m just trying to act as a leader and do what’s best for the team, and if that means staying away from those asking too many questions then so be it.

 **AT:** hmm suspicious

 **AK:** It’s really not.

 **AT:** hmm

 **AK:** What do you want me to say, Ann?? That I don’t like knowing that other people have taken notice of him and are giving him their numbers? That I don’t like others looking at him and noticing how pretty he is and showering him with compliments and pick up lines?? That seeing other people do these things make my skin crawl and I should be the only one who gets to notice how pretty he is and should be the only one to give him my number and compliment him and use pick up lines on him?? That just being around him or receiving a text from him makes my heart stop?? Is that what you want from me??

 **AT:** yes akira that is exactly what i want from you

 **AK:** Too bad because I’m not going to say any of that.

 **AT:** you just did

 **AK:** _Fuck._

 **AT:** aww that’s so cute!! you _do_ have a crush on yusuke!!

 **AK:** I don’t really know that it’s a crush persay…

 **AT:** that sounds pretty damn close to a crush to me akira.

 **AT:** i won’t tell you what to feel or how you feel, but i’ll let you know that whatever it is you’re feeling is valid okay?? you’re allowed to feel things, and sometimes i think you forget that.

 **AT:** you’re only human. never apologize for your emotions, okay??

 **AK:** What if he doesn’t feel the same?

 **AT:** then that’s his loss.

 **AK:** Listen I

 **AK:** I can’t deal with this right now okay? I just… I can’t have this conversation right now.

 **AT:** can’t? or don’t want to?

 **AK:** I don’t know. I just… need to clear my head.

 **AT:** alright. if and when you think you can handle this conversation i’ll be here though okay??

 **AK:** Yeah. Okay.

* * *

 

_August 17th 2017_

_12:41 pm_

 

The vine of thorns around Akira’s heart tightened, each individual prick prodding and sinking further and further into the sensitive flesh. He took a ragged breath, his throat constricting. Morgana had stepped out to check on Futaba and had promised to be back later.

Akira clicked off his phone and tossed it onto his futon. He stood and ran his fingers through his hair, desperately trying to gulp down every breath of fresh air he could. Why had that conversation with Ann shaken him so much? Did he really admit to feeling all of those things?

 _So much for repression…_ He thought in defeat. He gnawed on his bottom lip and plopped down on the sofa, scuffing at the hardwood floor with his toe. A weak laugh managed to rip its way free from him. _It’s all just emotional bullshit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh. Yeah. This happened.  
> I'm going to be honest here, I didn't intend this chapter to get as serious as it did but here we are I guess. Look at that, I attempted something other than blatant shitposting and memes that really aren't that funny.  
> As per usual this isn't proofread. Also it's nearly 2 am and I plan to pass out after this is up so yeah sorry if this is pretty shitty, this entire thing was written in about two hours with a break to read fanfic and look up basic japanese names in between. Yeet.  
> I promise this is still a shitpost but things,,,might get a little more serious from here on out. Yeah.  
> Oh and once again, we have something based off my dumb life experiences. The thing with the hold n spin? Yesterday I was at the park with a couple friends and thought it would be fun if my friend, who is twice my size and strength, spun me, someone who gets sick on swings due to motion sickness, as fast as he possibly could. I was super dizzy afterwards. I feel you, Yusuke. Motion sickness is the worst.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818


	22. stress and gay shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FS: what the fuck are you doing  
> AK: What??  
> FS: just hop on his dick already smh we can see your pining from space  
> AK: Uh??

_August 19th 2017_

_5:38 pm_

 

**Kin Fam**

 

 **Skull:** any word about futaba?

 **Joker:** As far as I know, she’s still sleeping.

 **Skull:** for real? its been three days

 **Joker:** Listen I’m just going off of what Boss has told me. Besides, who’s to say when the last time she got a full night’s sleep was..

 **Skull:** thats..tru

 **Skull:** still we have 2 more days until the cleanse. we need her to wake up asap

 **Joker:** We’re doing the best we can, okay? Right now all we can really do is wait. If she’s not awake by the twenty first we’ll figure something else out.

 **Skull:** do u have an idea in case she aint awake in time?

 **Joker:** It’s...a work in progress.

 **Skull:** so u got nothin huh?

 **Joker:** Listen. We put all of our faith in Futaba. We didn’t think much past that, and now that she might not be able to help we don’t have very many options. I know Makoto and myself are looking into it, but if anyone else has an idea to bring to the table please share it with the class.

 **Skull:** alright got me there i guess

 **Joker:** We did all we could, now we need to plan ahead okay?

 **Joker:** Although… damn. Her persona awakening combined with her condition overall… Futaba’s gotta be dead tired after all that’s happened. No wonder she passed out like that.

 **Joker:** However, there’s still one thing that’s bothering me.

 **Skull:** oh yea? wat is it?

 **Joker:** The whole “cognitive psience” thing. She said it’s with a psi. Psi would make sense, given the prefix psi- signifies that of psychological occurrences. However…

 **Skull:** uh oh

 **Joker:** Cognitive psience presumably means the study of the mind and cognition as a whole. So like a more complicated version of psychology, just dealing with the way we see and perceive aspects of the world and our lives as a whole.

 **Skull:** ok

 **Skull:** u forget who ur talkin to here. none of this makes any sense to me

 **Joker:** Just hang in there, it’ll make sense soon.

 **Joker:** It’s not the “cognitive psience” term or meaning that disturbs me. What disturbs me is that there’s an actual term for it.

 **Skull:** yea??

 **Joker:** Ryuji. That means other people know about the Metaverse. Other people have looked into it and were doing serious research on it. Hell, Futaba’s mother was doing research before someone pulled the plug on it.

 **Skull:** oh shit

 **Joker:** Ryuji. Someone out there knows about the Metaverse and cognition and is trying to prevent others from finding out. Someone out there knows how we’re stealing hearts and most likely wants us dead for it.

 **Skull:** _shit_

 **Joker:** Exactly. Someone knows and if they find out who we are we’re fucked.

 **Skull:** how long have u been thinkin about this?

 **Joker:** I’ve been contemplating the term since I overheard that woman talking to Sojiro about it, but it wasn’t until Futaba brought it to our attention where it really started to click.

 **Skull:** thats a fair point but dude u think too much. they aint gonna find us

 **Skull:** think about how many people r in japan

 **Skull:** nd if theyre really tryin to keep this shit secret from the public whos gonna know bout it? just play dumb nd stay out of the spotlight. itll be easy

 **Joker:** Keep in mind they suspect it’s students from our school -- which they are _correct_ about -- and all the targets have taken place in Tokyo. They’ve narrowed down a city and a school.

 **Skull:** akira. chill out. theres over 13 million people in tokyo alone and our school has over 1000 students in population. we’re gonna be fine. the only way they could know its us is if we spill it or if they catch us in the act

 **Joker:** Funny seeing how Makoto found out due to you yelling that we’re the Phantom Thieves, and Futaba found out even though she never met us or left her house to have found it. She found out through hacking, Ryuji. Think of how many more hackers are out there that could find out.

 **Skull:** akira were gonna be fine alright

 **Skull:** also i said i was sorry about the makoto situation. besides it all worked out in the end how much longer r u gonna hold this agains me

 **Joker:** For as long as necessary.

 **Skull:** fuk.

* * *

 

_August 20th 2017_

_2:49 pm_

 

**Kin Fam**

 

 **Panther:** akira have you heard anything yet?

 **Joker:** She’s still sleeping.

 **Panther:** we have _one day_ until medjed cleanses japan

 **Joker:** I’m aware. You reminding me of how little time we have isn’t helping anything Ann. I’m doing all I can. If she wakes up then I’ll let you know.

 **Panther:** we’re almost out of time excuse me for being a little stressed

 **Joker:** We’re all stressed right now. You guys constantly asking if she’s awake is only making things worse. I told you, I’ll let you know.

* * *

 

_August 21st 2017_

_12:04 am_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Ann Takamaki**

 

 **AK:** Sorry for snapping at you earlier. We’re basically out of time and I’m incredibly stressed right now.

 **AT:** it’s cool. i shouldn’t have gotten as offended as i did. you have a lot to deal with right now and we’re all stressed

 **AK:** On that note, it is now officially August 21st.

 **AT:** What do we do now?

 **AK:** Wait. Like always.

* * *

 

_August 21st 2017_

_1:22 am_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AK:** Hey are you awake?

 **YK:** Why wouldn’t I be?

 **AK:** It’s nearly one thirty in the morning.

 **AK:** Oh wait, I forgot just how fucked up your sleep schedule is. Of course you’re awake this late.

 **YK:** What can I help you with, Akira?

 **AK:** I just need someone to talk to right now. Can you help?

 **YK:** I can always help with that. I can’t promise that I’ll provide any useful insight, however.

 **AK:** That’s fine.

 **AK:** Well. It is now officially August 21st.

 **YK:** The day of the Cleanse…

 **AK:** Yeah…

 **AK:** As far as I know, Futaba is currently still sleeping…

 **AK:** I’m trying to give her the benefit of the doubt but. What if she really isn’t up in time?

 **AK:** What if all of this was pointless and we’re going to be responsible for the Cleanse, whatever that means. Medjed is a group of hackers so who knows what they’re going to do to the country if we don’t stop them.

 **AK:** I tried to think of a backup plan but there’s actually nothing we can do. Futaba is our only hope and she might not even be able to help us. What if we really don’t have a chance against Medjed?

 **AK:** Is this our fault? It took us much longer to change Futaba’s heart this time around. What if we had acted sooner and quicker instead of goofing off?

 **YK:** Okay first of all, we weren’t “goofing off.” We tried to get through her palace as efficiently as we could but given the heat and the depth of her palace, it was much more difficult than past palaces for factors we couldn’t control. With Kaneshiro we were at least able to shut off the cable boxes and security cameras. With Futaba’s palace, we had no control over the heat or the majority of the booby traps.

 **YK:** We did what we could. It’s not our fault. All we can do right now is wait. Whatever happens happens. We did our part, now all we can do is hope it all works out. Usually it does, so just hold out hope that everything is okay.

 **AK:** Hey uh..can I call you right now?

 **YK:** Why?

 **AK:** I just want to hear your voice.

 **YK:** Of course.

* * *

 

_August 21st 2017_

_1:26 am_

 

Yusuke’s phone rang twice before he was able to answer it. On the other end, Akira’s tired voice breathed slightly into the receiver.

“Hello?” Akira said wearily. Something unknown to Yusuke was hidden in his voice.

“You sound tired. Why don’t you get some rest?” Yusuke duly noted. He set his phone on speaker mode and propped it up against a side table, one hand holding a pallet of paint and the other holding a brush.

“I can’t sleep.” Akira sighed. “This whole Medjed deal has my mind spinning. How are you holding up?”

“Fine. This entire situation has been a lot to handle but I find it best to keep my mind off of it as a whole. It makes it a little more bearable sometimes. I already have enough to deal with outside of Medjed. All we can do is wait, so might as well just sit back and wait.”

Akira laughed weakly. “I wish I had that option. As the leader, I’m kind of forced to think about it. Everyone’s looking to me for answers I don’t have yet.” There was shuffling on his end. Yusuke brought the tip of his paint brush to the canvas and traced a line of deep violet paint against it.

“You do have a lot more to consider than the rest of us. I can’t help but wonder how you manage to keep it together all the time.” Yusuke muttered. It seemed to him that Akira almost had _too_ much control of his life. Somehow, he managed to balance out being leader of the Phantom Thieves with schoolwork, homework, studying and managed to make time for his friends and acquaintances. Not to mention all of this was happening in between targets and Mementos expeditions. Yusuke couldn’t help but watch in awe as Akira managed to do all of this without even batting an eyelash.

“You think I’m keeping it together? That’s hilarious.” Akira’s voice was dry, stoic. “Honestly I don’t know how I manage to do it all.” He exhaled slowly. “I don’t want to think about that right now. Why are you awake so late?”

Dark sangria dripped down the canvas in a way that just added to the affect. For the most part, Yusuke tended to try to avoid dripping but somehow in this painting it just worked out. “I got distracted by a project. Besides, why sleep when struck with inspiration? If I sleep now, I could lose that inspiration forever.”

Soft bristles against canvas filled the otherwise silent air of his dorm. The other students were absolutely sleeping right now. He had shut most of the lights off as not to disturb them, but he left a couple side lamps on so that he could still see his work.

“How long have you been working?”

“...What time is it?”

It only felt like an hour tops, yet somehow Yusuke doubted it had only been that long.

“It’s one thirty in the morning.”

“Um…” He didn’t bother running the mental calculations. “It’s been a while.”

He dipped the paintbrush in a can of water and rinsed it off. He brought the brush to his lips before dipping it in a light shade of grey.

“What are you working on?” Akira asked with interest. At least Yusuke hoped it was interest? He was never the best with that type of thing. “What’s the theme for this one?”

“The theme?” He pondered this a moment. “The theme is acceptance.”

“Festive,” Akira said. Yusuke could almost hear the smirk in Akira’s voice. “What’s your take on the concept? What do you think of when you think of ‘acceptance’?”

Yusuke was still trying to grasp that concept himself. “Hmm… Acceptance is a difficult theme to grasp. It could be acknowledging the existence of and allowing smaller details into you life, such as getting a certain type of coffee in the mornings or such. However, it also seems to me that it’s allowing the much larger and harder events into your life. Noting more complex sides of yourself and allowing it to be seen, and allowing yourself to stand up and grow after a harsh event that may have knocked you off your feet for a time. Does that make any sense?”

Inky black strands of paint dripped down the canvas, some of it splashing onto the easel. Akira’s soft breaths echoed, slightly warped through the receiver of the phone.

“Yeah. That makes a lot of sense, actually. I’d like to see this painting at some point, if that’s okay?”

“It’s not finished yet, but if you would like I would gladly allow you to stop by and view it.” With nothing but sporadic movements of Yusuke’s wrist, a few more strands of color were added.

“Sounds like a plan.” Akira agreed.

The conversation continued on a little while longer, going from topics such as Yusuke’s interest in art to that time Akira attempted the Big Bang Burger challenge and nearly vomited.

Akira stifled a yawn.

“It’s getting late. You should probably get some rest now.” Yusuke noted.

Akira groaned. “Do I have to?”

“Seeing as how the human body requires at least eight hours of sleep a night, yes.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll sleep in a little bit. I still have some work to finish up.”

Akira paused a moment. “If I go to bed now, do you promise that you’ll sleep soon too?”

Yusuke’s mouth tugged into a half hearted smile. “Of course.”

“Okay. Goodnight, Yusuke.”

“Goodnight Akira.”

And just like that, the line went dead.

Yusuke pressed the red “end call” button and shoved his phone into his pocket. An unfamiliar hum, almost like that of a live wire, shot throughout his body. He bit his lip and turned his attention back to the painting, determined to finish most of it in one night. Tomorrow he would finish it up. Well, that is, if they had a tomorrow.

* * *

 

_August 21st 2017_

_10:36 am_

 

**Kin Fam**

 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_I lived bitch_ ** _~_

 **Skull:** hey uh

 **Skull:** explain?

 **Joker:** Futaba woke up.

 **Skull:** shes awake??

 **Panther:** she woke up!?

 **Queen:** Perfect timing..

 **Joker:** Yep she’s awake. I’m in her room right now. She’s working on dealing with Medjed. Her room is a mess…

 **Joker:** I’m tempted to clean it for her. No one should live in this mess..

 **Fox:** Don’t you live in an attic? I’m sure you’re used to living in that sort of mess.

 **Joker:** Exactly why I’m going to clean it for Futaba. No one should live like that unless forced to, like in my case.

 **Fox:** Fair.

 **Joker:** Yeah I’m cleaning her room for her. I’ll put together a pile of shit that looks important that she can go through later.

 **Panther:** well, i guess it’s the least we could do for her

 **Queen:** How’s it going on her end?

 **Joker:** She’s in her zone and she doesn’t look like she’s coming out of it any time soon.

 **Fox:** Her “zone”?

 **Joker:** Yeah. Her hacking zone.

 **Joker:** Wait shit that sounds wrong.

 **Joker:** You know what I mean right?

 **Skull:** i getcha

 **Skull:** is it anything like yusukes art zone?

 **Panther:** that sounded worse than hacking zone..

 **Joker:** Pretty much the same. She’s tuned out reality and everything around her, and is only focused on hacking. I’ll let her do her thing and in the meantime I’ll clean up her mess.

* * *

 

_August 21st 2017_

_4:59 pm_

 

**I lived bitch**

 

 **Joker:** Futaba passed out again…

 **Panther:** did she finish dealing with medjed?

 **Joker:** Yep.

 **Joker:** She finished, noticed how clean her room is, and then passed out.

 **Panther:** mood?

 **Skull:** how long has it been since she slept smh

 **Joker:** The power of insomnia, I suppose.

 **Skull:** so wat does this mean for us?

 **Joker:** Huh?

 **Skull:** no more cleanse?

 **Joker:** No more cleanse. Medjed is taken care of.

 **Joker:** We won, guys.

 **Joker:** The most stressful month of my life is finally fucking over. Medjed is no longer a problem for us.

 **Panther:** woo!!

 **Skull:** hell yeah!!

 **Panther:** we should celebrate!

 **Joker:** How?

 **Panther:** well we haven’t gone to the beach all summer. that sounds like it could be fun

 **Joker:** The beach?

 **Skull:** sounds good to me

 **Joker:** If everyone else is okay with it I don’t have a problem with it.

 **Panther:** we should ask futaba if she wants to come

 **Joker:** Sure. Although we’ll probably have to get her used to being around people first.

 **Joker:** I mean years of social anxiety aren’t just going to disappear right away you know? I was surprised that she was willing to come out of her room and walk over to Leblanc, but no one is ever here aside from Sojiro and myself. She seems comfortable around us I guess, so we’ll still have to get her used to other people.

 **Panther:** understood

 **Skull:** got it

* * *

 

_August 22nd 2017_

_5:55 pm_

 

**I lived bitch**

 

 **Joker:** Ten days left of summer vacation. Operation “Get Futaba to Open Up To People” is a go.

 **Joker:** Operation GFOP is a go.

 **Fox:** “Gfop”?

 **Joker:** Shut up, it’s better than GFTOTP.

 **Skull:** pfft

 **Joker:** Shut up.

~ **Futaba Sakura** has joined the chat~

 **FS:** lame name

 **Joker:** What the hell how did you get here

 **FS:** >:3c

 **Fox:** Are you really asking that question? This is the same girl who took care of Medjed.

 **FS:** exactly

 **Joker:** Alright fair, that was a lame question

 **FS:** whats the plan for tomorrow?

 **Joker:** @Queen what’s the plan GFOP leader

 **FS:** :\ that name is super lame

 **Joker:** Shh.

 **Queen:** Oh hello Futaba.

 **FS:** sup

 **Queen:** Tomorrow Yusuke, Akira and myself will be spending time with you in your room and we will try to have a basic conversation. That work for you?

 **FS:** hhh i guess

 **Queen:** Excellent. We’ll try to be there between one and one thirty. Akira will contact you when we’re on our way.

 **FS:** (☞ຈل͜ຈ)☞

 **FS:** later losers

~ **Futaba Sakura** has left the chat~

 **Fox:** What an odd girl..

 **Skull:** uh huh

* * *

 

_August 23rd 2017_

_2:18 pm_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **FS:** hey

 **FS:** akira

 **FS:** your boyfriend is weird :\

 **AK:** What?

 **FS:** you heard me

 **AK:** Who are you referring to?

 **FS:** ಠ╭╮ಠ

 **FS:** inari

 **AK:** Yusuke?

 **FS:** yeah

 **AK:** He’s not?? My boyfriend??

 **FS:** what

 **AK:** We’re?? Not dating??

 **FS:**...are you serious?

 **AK:** Yeah.

 **FS:** …

 **FS:** hey

 **FS:** akira

 **AK:** Yeah?

 **FS:** what the fuck are you doing

 **AK:** What??

 **FS:** just hop on his dick already smh we can see your pining from space

 **AK:** Uh??

 **AK:** No??

 **FS:** coward

* * *

 

_August 23rd 2017_

_3:28 pm_

 

**I lived bitch**

 

~ **Futaba Sakura** has joined the chat~

 **FS:** alright what next team mom

 **Queen:** Welcome back.

 **FS:** yeet

 **Queen:** “Yeet”?

 **Skull:** dont worry about it makoto

 **FS:** whats up for tomorrow?

 **Queen:** Tomorrow you’ll be hanging out in someone else’s bedroom with Ann, Ryuji and Akira.

 **Skull:** yeet

 **Panther:** yeet

 **Joker:** Yeet.

 **FS:** hhhh

 **FS:** ok ill do it

 **Joker:** You just have to hang out in my room don’t worry it’ll be fine.

 **Joker:** “My room” meaning a fucking attic but you know.

 **FS:** :\ ok

~ **Futaba Sakura** has left the chat~

 **Joker:** She just keeps… fusing in?

 **Skull:** howd today go?

 **Joker:** Good? I think?

 **Joker:** Yusuke earned a nickname

 **Skull:** o yea??

 **Panther:** What is it?

 **Joker:** “Inari.”

 **Panther:** fitting

 **Skull:** thats extra af

 **Joker:** So isn’t Yusuke what’s your point.

 **Skull:** fair

* * *

 

_August 24th 2017_

_6:00 pm_

 

**I lived bitch**

 

~ **Futaba Sakura** has joined the chat~

 **FS:** yeet what next

 **Joker:** Uhh what’s next for operation GFOP?

 **Queen:** Tomorrow we have you help around Leblanc.

 **FS:** hhhhhhh

 **Joker:** I’ll be there with you the whole time. You’ll be okay.

 **FS:** hh fine

 **FS:** >:(

~ **Futaba Sakura** has left the chat~

 **Joker:** Well.

 **Joker:** Hopefully we can go to the beach soon?

 **Queen:** If tomorrow goes well? Soon, hopefully.

* * *

 

_August 25th 2017_

_5:48 pm_

 

**I lived bitch**

 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Operation: GFOP_ ** _~_

 **Fox:** How did it go?

 **Joker:** Not bad. Futaba nearly gave a customer a heart attack when she served him coffee while wearing that super creepy baby mask thing of hers.

 **Fox:** I don’t think that is a baby mask but okay.

 **Joker:** She did a good job. For the most part, she hung out in the back but she served coffee to some customers.

 **Panther:** so??? what does this mean??

 **Joker:** In a couple days, we should be able to go to the beach.

 **Panther:** ooo when!

 **Joker:** Well my schedule is booked for the next couple of days but perhaps… on the 29th??

 **Panther:** awesome!

 **Panther:** does futaba-chan have a swimsuit? i’ve been dying to go shopping

~ **Futaba Sakura** has joined the chat~

 **FS:** i dont have a swimsuit

 **Panther:** you me and makoto should go shopping for one for you then

 **FS:** ok

 **Panther:** are you free tomorrow?

 **FS:** yea,,,

 **Panther:** perfect! we can go then!

 **FS:** hhhhhh ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeet yeet we're back. I actually wrote the majority of this chapter tuesday night but have been so busy all week I haven't had the time to properly finish writing and upload it.  
> Queen Futaba has finally been introduced. Next chapter she should officially become part of the group >:3c  
> For now, though, here's this. Just a little taste of what's to come. I have so much planned for Futaba you have no idea. In the words of Best Boy Akihiko, I've been waiting for this.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818


	23. meme queen died for our sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: Hey Ryuji  
> Skull: yea?  
> Joker: Would you fuck Sheldon from Big Bang Theory?  
> Skull: wtf

_August 29th 2017_

_9:10 pm_

 

**Operation: GFOP**

 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has added_ **_Futaba Sakura_ ** _to the group~_ _  
_ _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Futaba Sakura_ ** _’s name to_ **_Oracle_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** Officially welcome to the group.

 **Oracle:** thanks

 **Joker:** Feel free to shitpost in this group as much as you want. We try to keep the main group clear of that and stay serious in there.

 **Joker:** Keyword: _try._

 **Oracle:** nice

 **Panther:** so i guess we go back to school soon

 **Joker:** Yeah…

 **Panther:** september 2nd

 **Joker:** Sigh..

 **Joker:** You know it feels like we didn’t even have a summer this year. We were too busy stressing all summer, that it went by in a flash. Maybe it’s just me..

 **Panther:** no i feel the same way

 **Joker:** Did you get any nice memories with Shiho this summer?

 **Panther:** i did! we went to the aquarium and looked at all the fish. afterwards we went out for ice cream! i actually got pictures if you want to see

 **Joker:** Sure.

 **Panther:** shiho.img

 **Panther:** fish.img

 **Panther:** gay.img

 **Joker:** That’s?? So cute???

 **Panther:** isn’t it? she looked adorable just admiring all the fish and i had to get pictures

 **Oracle:** whos shiho?

 **Joker:** Ann’s girlfriend.

 **Panther:** yep!

 **Oracle:** sounds gay

 **Joker:** It is.

 **Panther:** it’s very gay

 **Oracle:** just as it should be

 **Panther:** exactly

 **Joker:** Hey, maybe we can get some nice memories before school starts up.

 **Panther:** yeah!

* * *

 

_August 30th 2017_

_3:19 am_

 

**Operation: GFOP**

 

 **Joker:** I heard somewhere that naming your kids after things that are important to you, so I would like to introduce you all to my future children “curry” and “blue hair twinks.”

 **Oracle:** oof good idea

 **Oracle:** everyone these are my kids base64 and phoenix featherman

 **Skull:** r we just gonna look past the blue hair twinks comment or???

 **Joker:** Skull what are you naming your kids?

 **Skull:** uhhh

 **Skull:** shoes and soda

 **Joker:** Beautiful. I love them.

 **Skull:** thank u i made them

 **Oracle:** :\ that makes it sound like you built them in a lab

 **Skull:** mayb i did who knows

 **Oracle:** fair enough

 **Fox:** These are some very uh

 **Fox:** “Creative” names.

 **Oracle:** inari what are you naming your future children?

 **Fox:** I’d rather not have children.

 **Oracle:** ok in a hypothetical situation in which you have kids what are their fucking names

 **Fox:** “High quality paint,” “Canvas” and “Bean Sprouts.”

 **Oracle:** can i be the godmother

 **Fox:** Sure.

 **Joker:** Can I be the godfather?

 **Fox:** No.

 **Joker:** Can I be the mother?

 **Fox:** Sure.

 **Fox:** our children, Curry, Blue Hair Twinks, High Quality Paint, Canvas and Bean Sprouts.

 **Joker:** :’) I love our family.

 **Fox:** If only I could say the same.

 **Joker:** WOW OKAY RUDE

 **Skull:** JHGQSKHAKDHLKAJHLAKSHDL

 **Queen:** None of you should ever be having kids.

 **Joker:** What are your kids names, Makoto?

 **Queen:** Justice.

 **Oracle:** thats it?

 **Queen:** Sigh.

 **Queen:** Justice and Brass Knuckles.

 **Oracle:** perfect

 **Skull:** idk man id stay tf away from brass knuckles

 **Oracle:** wdym id spend all my time with her

 **Queen:** Please don’t harass my imaginary children.

 **Oracle:** i wouldnt harass her id have her harass people for me

 **Queen:** Anyways, it’s 3:30 am why are all of you awake.

 **Fox:** False. It’s 3:23 am.

 **Queen:** Fine. _Nearly_ 3:30 am.

 **Oracle:** sleep is for the weak

 **Skull:** i was playin fortnight

 **Oracle:** you play fortnite?

 **Skull:** yea

 **Oracle:** fucking normie

 **Skull:** hey im not a normie fuck you

 **Queen:** Okay. Akira, Yusuke. What’s your excuse?

 **Joker:** Morgana fell asleep and isn’t awake to yell at me.

 **Fox:** Art.

 **Queen:** Art?

 **Fox:** Art.

 **Queen:** Akira, Ryuji. Go to bed. Futaba, you go to bed, too.

 **Skull:** yes _mom_

 **Joker:** Okay Morgana

 **Oracle:** nah

 **Skull:** why aint u yellin at yusuke?

 **Queen:** Yusuke go to sleep.

 **Fox:** Not yet.

 **Queen:** Go to bed.

 **Fox:** As soon as I finish this project.

 **Joker:** Yusuke that could literally take days.

 **Fox:** Then I won’t sleep until then.

 **Joker:** Yusuke. Babe. Please?

 **Fox:** When I finish this.

 **Oracle:** cant believe ryujis a fuckin normie

 **Skull:** wat games do u play futaba smh

 **Oracle:** uh dark souls cs:go dishonored hotline miami

 **Oracle:** just to name a few

 **Oracle:** but you know

 **Oracle:** not fortnight

 **Skull:** listen fortnight isnt that bad

 **Oracle:** i bet you play pubg like the normie you are

 **Skull:** pubg isnt that bad either

 **Oracle:** _normie_

 **Skull:** shut

 **Skull:** u prolly play wow

 **Oracle:** HEY WoW IS REALLY GOOD FIGHT ME

 **Queen:** Not that this isn’t endearing but go to bed.

 **Skull:** fine

 **Oracle:** fine

* * *

 

_August 30th 2017_

_3:31 am_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Ryuji Sakamoto**

 

 **FS:** yo you awake

 **RS:** yea

 **FS:** you want to help me fuck with 12 year olds on garrys mod?

 **RS:** hell yeah

 **FS:** cool get on vc

 **RS:** hell yeah

* * *

 

_August 30th 2017_

_2:18 pm_

 

**Operation: GFOP**

 

 **Fox:** Akira is now cancelled.

 **Panther:** that’s the 3rd time this week he has been cancelled

 **Oracle:** owo

 **Queen:** What did he do now?

 **Joker:** I didn’t do anything bad this time!

 **Skull:** r u sure bout that

 **Joker:** I don’t understand what I did wrong??

 **Oracle:** OwO

 **Panther:** futaba please don’t use that face

 **Oracle:** 0w0

 **Oracle:** that better?

 **Panther:** not really

 **Fox:** Well. Akira went to go make coffee, however all of the coffee mugs except one were dirty. He didn’t feel like washing them out, so he jokingly suggested making coffee in a bowl. At least, I hope it was a joke. He then said, and I quote:

 **Fox:** “Just drink it with your tongue.”

 **Panther:** AKJDSKJFHKJAKH

 **Oracle:** pfffft

 **Queen:** Are you serious?

 **Joker:** You know, like a dog! Dogs like, lick the water in their water bowls when they need to drink water.

 **Skull:** yusuke just hit his head against the counter hes just so disappointed

 **Queen:** Akira…

 **Queen:** Dogs lap up water to drink it. They use their tongues to lap up the water.

 **Joker:** wait

 **Joker:** WAIT SHIT

 **Joker:** FUCK I COULDN’T REMEMBER THE TERM SO I JUST SAID LICK WATER

 **Joker:** HOLY SHIT I’M DUMB

 **Oracle:** KUHESFKHKHKAJWHDKJGHAJKGHA AKIRA

 **Panther:** joker are you serious

 **Joker:** I COULDN’T REMEMBER THE FUCKING TERM I’M SORRY

 **Fox:** Okay I take it back. Ryuji is officially cancelled and I no longer want this man in my life.

 **Skull:** yusuke :(

 **Oracle:** *sad violins play in the background*

 **Panther:** you know normally i wouldn’t be surprised but since yusuke is the one cancelling both akira and ryuji i’m a little scared

 **Queen:** What happened…?

 **Fox:** Ryuji is an absolute heathen is what happened.

 **Fox:** Do you know those weird veggie chips in the shape of tubes?

 **Oracle:** you mean these?

 **Oracle:** [ veggie-straws.jpg ](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81jk1k6xK5L._SL1500_.jpg)

**Fox:** Yes, those.

 **Fox:** Well, Ryuji is drinking soda instead of coffee and he decided to use one of those as a straw.

 **Queen:** Are you serious?!

 **Panther:** ew

 **Skull:** it actually aint that bad

 **Fox:** And suddenly, I no longer know anyone by the name “Ryuji Sakamoto.”

 **Skull:** its kinda good

 **Fox:** Hmm, what are these “blocked message” notifications coming up on my screen right now?

 **Fox:** Blocked.img

 **Joker:** It’s good to be out of the dog house.

 **Fox:** You wish.

 **Joker:** Shit.

 **Skull:** wait shit

 **Skull:** YUSUKE 

 **Skull:** UNBLOCK ME

 **Oracle:** damn inari got some serious game

 **Fox:** I’m going to ignore that comment.

 **Joker:** Ryuji is shaking Yusuke and begging him to unblock him. Yusuke’s just straight up ignoring him god damn what a lad.

 **Joker:** get-bent.mov

 **Oracle:** once again

 **Oracle:** _damn inari got some serious game_

 **Skull:** can someone tell yusuke to unblock me this is bullying

 **Queen:** Yusuke, Ryuji asks that you unblock them.

 **Fox:** I would but I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.

 **Queen:** Understandable.

 **Skull:** HEY

 **Joker:** Sucks to suck.

 **Fox:** Akira I don’t know why you’re bragging, you’re still a heathen, too.

 **Panther:** AKJSKJDSAJK

 **Joker:** Well. Ow.

 **Skull:** “sucks to suck”

 **Joker:** Shut up.

* * *

 

_August 31st 2017_

_12:04 am_

 

**Operation: GFOP**

 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Anti Laugh Track Establishment_ ** ~

 **Oracle:** i mean

 **Oracle:** i agree but why

 **Joker:** It is currently twelve in the morning and I cannot sleep for the life of me. I decided maybe I would watch some tv, and low and behold, for some god forsaken reason Big Bang Theory is playing reruns. There’s nothing else on so I decided fuck it, maybe it’ll bore me enough so that I pass out.

 **Oracle:** :\ what do you got against big bang theory

 **Joker:** _Everything._

 **Joker:** You know what. This show plays the laugh track way too much

 **Oracle:** its a sitcom akira what did you expect

 **Joker:** I mean more than usual.

 **Joker:** Seriously. They play this shit even when the jokes aren’t fucking funny and just

 **Joker:** _Don’t tell me when the fuck to laugh Big Bang Theory. Perhaps I just don’t understand your form of comedy but that one dipshit with the balding head making some science comment like a robot isn’t fucking funny it’s annoying._

 **Oracle:** um excuse me

 **Joker:** Yeah you’re fucking excused.

 **Oracle:** sheldon is great fuck you

 **Joker:** No.

 **Oracle:** i dont know about you but damn

 **Oracle:** if i wasnt ace id fuck sheldon

 **Joker:** I might except the laugh track might play in the background and honestly I don’t need that stress in my life.

 **Oracle:** fair

 **Skull:** wh

 **Joker:** Oh hey Ryuji.

 **Oracle:** fuckin normie

 **Skull:** im not an effin normie

 **Oracle:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ you say that yet you cant even write the word fuck

 **Skull:** shut

 **Skull:** akira y tf r u talkin about a laugh track

 **Joker:** Because Big Bang Theory is an unfunny as fuck show and playing a laugh track doesn’t take away from that fact

 **Skull:** u right

 **Joker:** Hey Ryuji

 **Skull:** yea?

 **Joker:** Would you fuck Sheldon from Big Bang Theory?

 **Skull:** wtf

 **Oracle:** you think every time he nuts he shouts bazinga

 **Skull:** kjhwdihlkhsklj

 **Joker:** Absolutely.

 **Skull:** the both of u have somehow made bbt even worse than it already is

 **Oracle:** my job is done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guess what I'm apparently a filthy liar as I managed a chapter this week sorry for everyone who saw the tumblr post saying otherwise.  
> This was originally going to have gay shit but I wrote it badly and decided to save it for next time. For now just enjoy random shitposts ft Futaba Sakura.  
> I apologize about that Sheldon part...and the veggie straw part. Both of those have been actual events to happen in my life. Sometimes I hate my friends.  
> Anyways here you go take the sin. Sorry it's kinda short it's 12:30 am and I'm about to pass out.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818


	24. futaba steals some bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oracle: hey akira  
> Joker: Yeah?  
> Oracle: (◔ ⌣ ◔) ⌐╦╦═─  
> Joker: Shit.

_September 1st 2017_

_2:03 am_

 

**Anti Laugh Track Establishment**

 

 **Fox:** I’m out of pain.

 **Fox:** *paint

 **Fox:** Unfortunately I still have plenty of pain.

 **Oracle:** relatable

 **Fox:** I would paint in the common area but unfortunately it is two in the morning and that area is not accessible this late.

 **Oracle:** do it anyway

 **Oracle:** steal the paint

 **Oracle:** b&e

 **Fox:** I’ll pass. Tomorrow after school I can just go buy some more.

 **Oracle:** do you even have money for paint?

 **Fox:** I’ll figure something out.

 **Joker:** Bitch you better not give up food to buy paint.

 **Joker:** I will actually buy paint for you don’t even think about it.

 **Fox:** Don’t do that?

 **Fox:** I’m sure I can afford paint?

 **Joker:** If you plan to survive the next month on bean sprouts just so you can get paint I will fight you.

 **Oracle:** you would probably lose ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Joker:** Maybe so.

 **Joker:** I see you typing Yusuke, don’t you even try to fucking protest.

 **Fox:** …

 **Fox:** Fine.

 **Joker:** At the very least, let me get you some food or something.

 **Fox:** Okay.

 **Oracle:** this is getting pretty gay

 **Joker:** It’s always been gay what are you talking about.

 **Oracle:** fair

 **Oracle:** can one of you wake ryujis bitchass up he promised to play cs:go with me smh

 **Joker:** It’s 2 am and we have school tomorrow?

 **Oracle:** and? you and inari are awake

 **Joker:** I was asleep but my phone woke me up, and Yusuke should get his ass to sleep.

 **Fox:** Later.

 **Joker:** No. Now.

 **Fox:** Later.

 **Oracle:** ಠ_ಠ

 **Oracle:** yall are weak af

 **Oracle:** i can stay up for days

 **Fox:** Yes, but if I remember correctly, you tend to go into small comas afterwards.

 **Oracle:** shut it

 **Oracle:** sleep is for the weak

 **Joker:** You actually sleep more than all of us. You just have very irregular sleep patterns.

 **Oracle:** hey

 **Oracle:** akira

 **Joker:** Yeah?

 **Oracle:** shut

 **Oracle:** ill steal your bones

 **Fox:** How exactly do you plan to go about that?

 **Oracle:** same way we steal hearts  
****

**Oracle:** just with bones

 **Fox:** With a heart, we steal the target’s treasure. How are you going to steal bones?

 **Oracle:** idk just steal the walls of the palace of something

 **Oracle:** it doesnt matter how just know

 **Oracle:** if youre not careful

 **Oracle:** _ill steal your bones_

 **Fox:** What do you intend on doing once you have the bones?

 **Oracle:** build a throne

 **Fox:** A throne of bones?

 **Oracle:** yes

 **Oracle:** once thats finished ill build a castle of bones

 **Joker:** [ edgy.jpg ](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/aMD44I_9lZM/hqdefault.jpg)

**Oracle:** hey akira

 **Joker:** Yeah?

 **Oracle:** (◔ ⌣ ◔) ⌐╦╦═─

 **Joker:** Shit.

* * *

 

_September 1st 2017_

_6:34 am_

**Anti Laugh Track Establishment**

 

 **Panther:** ew, i forgot how horrible waking up early is

 **Panther:** why the hell were you guys up so late? i went to bed early and am still exhausted

 **Skull:** this sixks

 **Panther:** uh ryuji??

 **Skull:** yah

 **Panther:** did you have a stroke writing that? your typing is worse than normal

 **Skull:** m stilk hakf askerp

 **Panther:** alright then.

 **Joker:** In retrospect maybe staying up until 3am on a school night was not the best idea.

 **Panther:** you think?

 **Panther:** i’m surprised morgana let you

 **Joker:** He didn’t. He fell asleep before me so I stayed up longer.

 **Joker:** Morgana just gave me a dirty look. Sorry Mona :(

 **Panther:** hey you live in a coffee shop

 **Joker:** Ya. What about it.

 **Panther:** please never use the term “ya” again

 **Joker:** We’ll see.

 **Panther:**...anyways can you bring in some coffee? i’m soo tired

 **Joker:** Yeah, sure. I was planning on bringing some in for myself, anyway. Might as well share some.

 **Panther:** thank you i owe you

 **Joker:** Nah it’s fine. I got you covered.

 **Panther:** you’re a blessing

* * *

 

_September 1st 2017_

_8:59 am_

 

**Anti Laugh Track Establishment**

 

 **Panther:** hey remember how i said akira’s a blessing? i take it back

 **Oracle:** what did he do

 **Panther:** akira and ryuji both are gremlins that must be destroyed

 **Oracle:** i mean

 **Oracle:** yeah

 **Oracle:** but why :|

 **Panther:** sigh…

 **Panther:** we have an assembly, right? akira decided to come in with headphones and was blasting some sort of rock song. he had one earbud in, one out, out of some respect for the school

 **Panther:** _some_

 **Panther:** however he still had it turned up pretty loud. i asked him to turn it down and what does he do?

 **Panther:** he turns it up even louder

 **Oracle:** pfft fair

 **Panther:** you don’t understand. it’s so loud. the students around us can hear it.

 **Oracle:** why is ryuji a gremlin?

 **Panther:** he’s encouraging it

 **Panther:** OH MY GOD I HATE THEM SO MUCH WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS

 **Oracle:** (ʘ‿ʘ)

 **Oracle:** _what did they do_

 **Panther:** they started playing the fucking space jam theme. it’s,,, actually so loud? i didn’t know earbuds could play songs that loud?

 **Oracle:** the crappy ones can. you know the shit ones that come with iphones and shit? the ones that hurt your ears if worn for too long?

 **Oracle:** those ones blast music pretty loudly. its like everyone except you can hear it because they suck that bad

 **Panther:**...that would make sense.

 **Panther:** breaking news: akira has removed both earbuds and has turned it up more

 **Skull:** noone has yelled at us yet im living

 **Oracle:** want me to bass boost it?

 **Skull:** YES

 **Panther:** NO

 **Oracle:** ON IT

 **Oracle:** is it working?

 **Skull:** IT IS HJSDHK

 **Skull:** THANK YOU DEMON CHILD UR A BLESSING

 **Oracle:** (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

 **Oracle:** all in a days work

 **Panther:** futaba why would you do this

 **Oracle:** >:3c

 **Queen:** I was about to ask what that noise was but nevermind.

 **Queen:** Of course Ryuji and Akira are responsible.

 **Panther:** the volume has been turned all the way up, futaba bass boosted it, and _somehow_ these nerds got hold of a paper cup and have both earbuds in the cup

 **Panther:** students around us are shushing us

 **Fox:** Shujin sounds like an experience.

 **Panther:** ,,,you have no idea,,,

 **Panther:** oh my god it got worse

 **Oracle:** OWO

 **Panther:** they started playing “i eat ass” by lil roblox

 **Fox:** “I eat ass”?

 **Oracle:** you know what ass eating is right

 **Fox:** Unfortunately. However, that’s not what I’m asking.

 **Oracle:** wait

 **Oracle:** youre confused about the song?

 **Fox:** Yes.

 **Oracle:** it is,,,a gift to this world

 **Oracle:** here take a listen

 **Oracle:** its beautiful

 **Oracle:** [ **h** ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70YwtMTyxGM ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70YwtMTyxGM)

**Fox:** …

 **Fox:** What did I just listen to and why.

 **Queen:** I sincerely hope you didn’t play that in the middle of class.

 **Fox:** No. I had earbuds.

 **Oracle:** oof what kind?

 **Fox:** They came with my phone so they’re not of very high quality.

 **Oracle:** lame

 **Fox:** There is a chance that someone around me heard it, but I had it turned down low so hopefully not?

 **Panther:** futaba please don’t corrupt yusuke

 **Oracle:** i wont ;3

 **Queen:** Ann, whatever it is that’s going on over there, you may want to stop. I can hear it from all the way over here. Principal Kobayakawa just gave a dirty look in your general direction.

 **Panther:** i’m trying to tell them to quit it but they just

 **Panther:** don’t stop

 **Panther:** i told akira to seriously turn it down and i swear he did the anime glasses thing

 **Panther:** he then proceeded to switch the song to jellyfish jam from spongebob

 **Queen:** Ann...that is so loud…

 **Panther:** …

 **Panther:**...that’s because they’re playing jellyfish jam earrape…

 **Oracle:** send?

 **Skull:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22Ug4rF9GCE ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22Ug4rF9GCE)

**Skull:** yw

 **Skull:** KAWAKAMI JUST GAVE US A DIRTY LOOK WUDGKAJ I THINK SHE KNOWS ITS US

 **Panther:** ryuji just fell on the floor he wheezed so hard

 **Panther:** they are actually trying so hard to keep it together

 **Panther:** nerds.img

 **Oracle:** akiras face is so red holy hell

 **Fox:** I was unaware he was capable of expressing that sort of emotion. Are they okay?

 **Panther:** no.

 **Panther:** nerdsx2.mov

 **Oracle:** PFFT I LOVE IT

 **Panther:** okay akira just got his phone taken away and a detention

 **Fox:** That is truly tragic.

 **Queen:** I warned you…

 **Panther:** ms chouno just swooped in here, took akira’s phone, handed him a detention slip and told him to see her after school

 **Skull:** “it was worth it” - akira 2k17

 **Oracle:** such an inspiration

 **Fox:** I don’t know about that one.

 **Skull:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Skull:** \- akira 2k17

 **Panther:** idk how ryuji didn’t get a detention either. he was actually in tears from laughing so hard.

 **Panther:** he’s still laughing

 **Oracle:** i fell out of my chair from laughing so hard

 **Panther:** ryuji straight up fell

* * *

 

_September 2nd 2017_

_12:45 am_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Ryuji Sakamoto**

 

 **FS:** hey

 **FS:** ryuji

 **RS:** yeah? what?

 **FS:** you got no bones

 **RS:** _huh?!_

 **FS:** you got no bones

 **RS:** the hellre u talkin about?

 **FS:** you got no bones

 **FS:** i stole them

 **RS:** uhhh im p sure i have my bones still

 **RS:** y would u even want my bones?

 **FS:** build a throne

 **FS:** throne made of bones of those who were supposed to play cs:go with me

 **RS:** ah shit i forgot about that im sorry

 **RS:** i passed out early last night. school n shit

 **RS:** we can play now if u want

 **FS:** …

 **FS:**..yes

 **FS:** your bones are still mine

 **RS:** y the hell do u want _my_ bones? my leg bone is a piece of shit and is kinda effed

 **FS:** i told you im going to build a throne

 **FS:** smh learn to read

 **RS:** my bones will snap but k

 **RS:** at least my leg bones will snap

 **FS:** still gonna steal your bones

* * *

 

_September 2nd 2017_

_2:58 am_

 

**Anti Laugh Track Establishment**

 

 **Skull:** someone pls stop futaba this is not ok

 **Oracle:** >;3c

 **Skull:** FUTABA STOP THAT

 **Oracle:** whoops hand slipped >;33c

 **Fox:** What is Futaba doing?

 **Oracle:** nothing (▰˘◡˘▰)

 **Fox:** Somehow I don’t believe that.

 **Skull:** effin gremlin hacked fortnight

 **Oracle:** its spelled fortnite but ok

 **Fox:** Okay? What did she do?

 **Skull:** in FORTNITE u have the option to dab

 **Skull:**  i spelled it right this time gremlin

 **Oracle:** lame

 **Skull:** shut it

 **Skull:** so this demon child decided to hack my game so tht she can control when my cgaracter dabs

 **Oracle:** ;3

 **Fox:** And?

 **Skull:** EVERY 5 SECONDS SHE MKES HIM DAB. I KEEP GETTING KILLED BC OF HER

 **Oracle:** huehuehue

 **Fox:** That sounds like a you problem.

 **Oracle:** inaris on my side

 **Skull:** yusuke u suck

 **Fox:** Futaba I am most certainly not on your side.

 **Skull:** HA

 **Oracle:** (ಠ╭╮ಠ)

 **Fox:** I’m beginning to regret unblocking you, Ryuji.

 **Skull:** wait no dont

 **Oracle:** HA

 **Skull:** FUCK

 **Skull:** dude y r u even up its like 3am

 **Fox:** I woke up a few moments ago.

 **Skull:** dude for real?

 **Fox:** Yes.

 **Skull:** when did u fall asleep?

 **Fox:** I’m not entirely sure when. Last thing I remember, I had decided to lay down for a bit, and suddenly I woke up and it was dark outside.

 **Skull:** dude

 **Skull:** when was the last time u got proper sleep

 **Fox:** Just now.

 **Skull:** before that i mean

 **Fox:** Um.

 **Fox:** I’m not sure.

 **Skull:** _dude. u have to sleep and eat properly_

 **Fox:** That can wait.

 **Skull:** _dude_

 **Skull:** _how r u alive_

 **Fox:** _I don’t know._

* * *

 

_September 2nd 2017_

_4:12 pm_

 

**Anti Laugh Track Establishment**

 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Aloha Bitches_ ** _~_

 **Panther:** akira seriously

 **Joker:** Ann we’re going to Hawaii how could I not.

 **Panther:** sigh

 **Skull:** ALOHA

 **Panther:** we’re not going for another few days

 **Oracle:** hawaii??

 **Joker:** It’s for our class trip. We’re going to Hawaii.

 **Oracle:** oof take pictures for me

 **Joker:** Will do.

 **Panther:** where’s kosei going?

 **Skull:** uhhh

 **Skull:** @fox where r u goin for class trip?

 **Fox:** Los Angeles.

 **Panther:** ooh nice. that’s where all the famous actors and actresses are

 **Skull:** wheres la?

 **Fox:** California.

 **Skull:** oh

 **Oracle:** get pictures of la too

 **Fox:** Of course.

 **Joker:** Can we just bring Yusuke to Hawaii with us?

 **Panther:** i don’t think so

 **Joker:** What if I say he’s for..anxiety or something?

 **Joker:** You know, like an anxiety dog. Except he’s human, and uh…yeah.

 **Skull:** they wont buy it dude

 **Joker:** Damn.

 **Joker:** Somehow I’m going to get you to Hawaii, Yusuke.

 **Oracle:** thats gay

 **Joker:** Shut.

 **Panther:** that’s gay

 **Joker:** You’re gay.

 **Panther:** damn you got me there

 **Skull:** jesus christ ur gonna bring that back?

 **Oracle:** bringing it back? UwU

 **Skull:** 1) dont make that face

 **Oracle:** UwU

 **Skull:** 2) yea bringing it back. they used to do that all the time

 **Oracle:** OwO

 **Skull:** do not

 **Fox:** Have fun in Hawaii.

 **Joker:** I’m gonna miss you in Hawaii.

 **Oracle:** hey >:(

 **Joker:** And you, I guess.

 **Oracle:** :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thank you to tumblr users okicoma and trichotillomanias for allowing me to use their posts in this fic. Futaba's "hey ryuji you have no bones" and Yusuke's "I'm out of pain. *Paint" were created by these people and they allowed me to use them in this dumpster fire of mine. Please go check out the original posts they are incredible. I'll leave them linked down below. Seriously though, thank you guys so much. I really appreciate you giving me permission to use your posts <3  
> In case you didn't notice, I reformatted the chapters a bit. I spent 3+ hours going through each chapter, reformatting it and fixing typos. A few lines of dialogue were removed or added, but nothing too major. Just so you know, though, the formatting has finally been fixed.  
> I think that's about it. I know I promised gay shit but that's coming next chapter I promise. I have..a lot planned for next time ;)  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818
> 
> "you have no bones": https://trichotillomanias.tumblr.com/post/174303534210/bosstheme-futaba-sends-cryptic-texts-to-the-group
> 
> *paint: http://okicoma.tumblr.com/post/174316245777/yusuke-is-a-mood-tbh-x-website-my-shops


	25. uwu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oracle: uwu  
> Joker: Stop that.

_September 8th 2017_

_3:32 am_

 

**Aloha Bitches**

 

 **Joker:** Hey are any of you awake? I’m trying to find the courage to get out of bed right now.

 **Panther:** yep

 **Skull:** yea,,,

 **Queen:** Yeah.

 **Fox:** Yes.

 **Oracle:** yeet

 **Joker:** Dammit this sucks

 **Joker:** In retrospect when sojiro told me to go to bed early maybe i should have listened to him,,

 **Joker:** Can one of you motivate me to get out of bed and get my shit together? We’re going to the airport soon…

 **Skull:** i would but i still need to pack uh

 **Panther:** ryuji i literally texted you last night to tell you to pack

 **Skull:** i kno i just didnt care enough to listen

 **Panther:** i would yell at you but i’m in the same position..

 **Skull:** ann u were the one who told me to pack tf

 **Panther:** i know and i started packing but

 **Panther:** i got sidetracked

 **Skull:** smh

 **Queen:** The both of you better start packing now, then.

 **Panther:** i’m working on it

 **Oracle:** im not even going anywhere im just here to watch yall miss your flights and hack shit

 **Queen:** They won’t miss their flights, I’m making sure of that.

 **Fox:** What are you attempting to hack, Futaba.

 **Oracle:** secret :3

 **Skull:** i dont like the sound of that

 **Oracle:** Akira will probably find out, soon.

 **Joker:** That’s not assuring in the slightest but okay.

 **Joker:** Do you still have Leblanc wire-tapped?

 **Oracle:** yep :3

 **Joker:** You ever plan on getting rid of that?

 **Oracle:** nope C:<

 **Joker:** God dammit.

 **Oracle:** gotta collect that sweet blackmail

 **Joker:** You’re probably just going to get Morgana yelling at me to sleep and anxiety but okay, sure. “Blackmail.”

 **Oracle:** i wouldnt test me if i were you

 **Oracle:** unless of course you want the rest of the pts to find out what i know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Panther:** akira i would stop that

 **Joker:** Now I’m kind of curious…

 **Skull:** wait. futaba. u have leblanc wiretapped uh

 **Skull:** yeah ok dont want to kno anything else going on up there

 **Joker:** :\ This is homophobic

 **Queen:** Akira, have you managed to get out of bed yet?

 **Joker:** Uh. I’m sitting up so. Does that count?

 **Queen:** No. Get out of bed and do what you have to.

 **Joker:** Right.

* * *

 

_September 8th 2017_

_10:10 am_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **FS:** hey joker?

 **AK:** Yeah?

 **FS:** i noticed you havent made me mod yet in aloha bitches

 **FS:** what gives akira

 **AK:** I haven’t made you mod because you are not worthy of being mod.

 **FS:** >:(

 **FS:** make me mod

 **AK:** Hmm… nah

 **FS:** D:<

 **FS:** make me mod

 **AK:** Maybe when I get back from Hawaii

 **FS:** but thats so loooong :’(

 **AK:** It’s only a few days, don’t worry about it.

 **FS:** grrr

 **FS:** fine

 **FS:** ill be holding you to that promise

 **AK:** Of course.

* * *

 

_September 9th 2017_

_11:03 pm_

 

**Aloha Bitches**

 

 **Joker:** No offense but can someone please tell Mishima to shut the hell up.

 **Joker:** I don’t hate the kid, and he’s been really helpful so far. I can’t help but pity him, sometimes.

 **Joker:** But honestly he needs to shut up. Please.

 **Skull:** wats he doin

 **Joker:** He keeps going on and on about the phantom thieves and the fan site. Does this dude ever stop worrying about that? We’re in Hawaii. Chill out.

 **Skull:** for real?

 **Skull:** dude needs to stop thinkin about that

 **Fox:** That’s obnoxious..

 **Joker:** Seriously.

 **Joker:** So Yusuke how’s Hawaii?

 **Fox:** Beautiful.

 **Skull:** u got that right

 **Fox:** It is very aesthetically pleasing.

 **Joker:** Is it inspirational?

 **Fox:** Something like that.

 **Oracle:** uwu is inari purposely being vague

 **Fox:** No?

 **Joker:** He’s always vague like that.

 **Oracle:** uwu

 **Joker:** Stop that.

 **Oracle:** vwv

 **Oracle:** is that better?

 **Joker:** Actually that’s worse.

 **Oracle:** (´ ꒳ ` ✿)

 **Joker:** No.

 **Oracle:** hows hawaii?

 **Joker:** Honestly, aside from the majority speaking non-japanese, it’s not very different. There’s even a Big Bang Burger.

 **Oracle:** can you bring me back some fries?

 **Joker:** There’s literally a Big Bang Burger like 20 minutes away do you really want me to try to bring back fries from halfway across the world?

 **Oracle:** ye

 **Joker:** Sigh

 **Joker:** Would you like some ketchup with it?

 **Oracle:** no ew

 **Oracle:** ketchup is actually disgusting

 **Joker:** :\

 **Joker:** I’m personally offended by that statement but okay, no ketchup.

 **Oracle:** how r u gonna get ketchup from hawaii to japan in one piece that actually sounds so gross

 **Joker:** That’s… fair, I suppose.

 **Skull:** akira can u get me fries

 **Joker:** Maybe.

 **Joker:** Yusuke I’ll buy you all the fries.

 **Fox:** I wasn’t going to ask?

 **Joker:** Doesn’t matter. You’re getting fries.

 **Skull:** futaba wat time is it in japan rn?

 **Oracle:** like 6 am?

 **Skull:** have u slept at all?

 **Oracle:** I took a power nap yesterday afternoon.

 **Skull:**...fair

 **Joker:** Mishima just passed out on one of the beds. Guess that means I gotta sleep, too.

 **Skull:** gn

 **Oracle:** weak

 **Fox:** Goodnight.

 **Joker:** Hasta la later heathens.

 **Skull:** actually my roommate is annoyed that im still up ugh fine gtg i guess

 **Oracle:** _weak_

 **Skull:** it aint my choice

 **Oracle:** and then there were 2..

 **Fox:** Indeed.

 **Oracle:** wait so what happened to la

 **Oracle:** why are you in hawaii

 **Oracle:** did akira manage to sneak you in?

 **Fox:** No.

 **Fox:** There were warnings of a storm in Los Angeles so they decided to go to Hawaii instead.

 **Oracle:** oof

 **Oracle:** how do the hotels feel about another random school of japanese kids showing up?

 **Fox:** They probably are not very happy, however there’s really nothing that we can do about that.

 **Oracle:** is kosei staying in the same hotel as shujin?

 **Fox:** I believe so.

 **Oracle:** oof nice

 **Oracle:** make room for jesus ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Fox:** I’m ignoring that last statement.

 **Oracle:** >:(

 **Oracle:** acknowledge me

 **Fox:** Suddenly I can’t read

 **Oracle:** D:<

 **Oracle:** i will hack into your phone and make sure every few minutes it blasts gucci gang dont test me

 **Fox:** Hmm…

 **Oracle:** ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

* * *

 

_September 10th 2017_

_11:39 pm_

 

Hawaii was interesting. For the most part, it felt almost exactly like Japan, just much hotter. On the bright side, at least Akira could say he went to Hawaii.

It wasn’t bad. In fact, it was actually pretty nice. The beaches were beautiful, he wasn’t stuck inside the same classrooms all day, he got to hang out with his friends. Really, it was pretty nice. Just, similar to Japan. At least there was less he had to worry about.

Ryuji and Mishima had dragged Akira around the beach with them all day. Apparently Akira had “a way of talking to girls” and they were “more likely to be interested if he were around.” He really wasn’t interested, but it made Ryuji and Mishima happy so he couldn’t protest too much. Although, listening to Ryuji complain about no one being interested or having to witness Mishima’s (bad) attempts at flirting were not the ideal way he would have preferred to spend his afternoon.

At some point, Ryuji and Ann had showed up in Akira and Mishima’s shared hotel room. Something about being locked out and not wanting to third wheel?

Ann sprawled out on one of the queen sized beds, the other one vacant. Akira had gotten stuck with the couch, but he supposed it was better than nothing. He could have ended up on the floor like Ryuji.

“Hey, Ryuji. I don’t think I got an actual answer.” Ann stretched. She rolled onto her side and propped her head up on her elbow.

“Huh?” Ryuji sat up slightly. “What are you talkin’ about?”

“What kind of girl are you into?” She twirled the end of one of her pigtails with her free hand.

Ryuji leisurely sat on his back, folding his arms underneath his head as a makeshift pillow. “Uh… I guess someone with a nice personality? Attractive inside and out.”

Ann made a face like she had taken a bite out of a lemon. “Okay, so imagine this. Two girls, both with equally attractive personalities, like you. They both ask you out, but you can only date one. Which one do you pick?”

“Hmm… I guess the one with the hotter body, then. Probably.”

Ann sighed. “So you really are that shallow, huh?” She shook her head. “I guess you do think looks are more important.”

“Wha -- HEY.” Ryuji shot up from the nest of blankets they had put together for him on the floor. “You didn’t _say--”_

“Your second answer was how you really feel.”

“You tricked me!”

“I didn’t trick you into answering, you were the one who said looks were more important.”

Ryuji opened his mouth to protest once more, but Ann cut him off before he could get a word out. “How about you, Akira? What do you look for in a date?”

Akira noted the gender neutral term, but said nothing about it. Gender didn’t matter much to him in terms of a dating partner, and all of them knew that. In a way, though, he almost did not want to answer the question. Ann already knew he harbored… some feelings… for Yusuke. Feelings that Akira wasn’t sure he fully understood just yet. He wasn’t ready to outright say it. Accepting it had been difficult for him, but outwardly admitting it was a whole new ballpark. At least, at this point, he could admit to himself that he felt something towards Yusuke.

He shrugged. “Someone with a unique personality, I suppose. I don’t have an exact ‘type.’” He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, which for some reason he was still wearing, even though it was almost midnight, the room was pitch black and he was laying across a sofa. “Someone who stands out above the rest.”

Ann giggled. Ryuji turned towards Akira, an eyebrow raised. “Seriously? Dude, you basically just described all of us.” He flopped back down onto the fake futon. “All of us” meaning the Phantom Thieves. At least he was smart enough to not, once again, blurt out “HEY EVERYONE WE’RE THE MOTHER EFFING PHANTOM THIEVES COME ARREST US.” Maybe he didn’t quite say it, or mean it, like that but most of the time it came off that way.

“You have a point there.” Ann giggled again. “Hmm. Anyone in particular, Akira?”

“No.” The answer slipped from Akira’s lips before she had completely finished her statement. Even in his own ears, he sounded way too defensive.

A thick blanket of silence fell across the room. Akira shuffled uncomfortably, suffocating in the stillness. _So much for being subtle._

“Um… you sure about that?” Ryuji stammered awkwardly. Skepticism coated his words.

Akira mentally face palmed. Even without looking at her, he could sense a strong, shit-eating grin from Ann’s direction.

He sighed, accepting defeat. Maybe he could steer the conversation elsewhere. “So what if there is?” His voice held a bitter edge to it, like a freshly sharpened knife.

Ryuji hesitated a moment. “Well?”

“Well what?”

“Who is it?”

“No one important.” Akira shrugged off the question in attempt to shut the conversation down. Somehow, Ryuji managed to dodge it.

“Do I know them?” He leaned forward a bit.

Akira debated lying, but in retrospect it would probably bite him in the ass. Ann already knew who he was interested in. Lying could potentially backfire on him. “Yeah.” He said in between clenched teeth.

Ryuji crossed his legs and tugged at one of the leather bracelets on his right wrist. “Can I guess who it is?”

“I can’t stop you.”

“Hmm… Boy or girl?”

Akira sighed once more. He ran a hand through his tousled hair. “Boy.”

“Is he… one of us?”

One of us.

_A phantom thief._

Akira paused. Excluding him, there were only three male thieves, one of them being a cat. Did he _really_ want to answer this question.

There was no getting around it. He could lie, in which case Ann would call him out. He could avoid the question and raise suspicion. He could remain silent, which in itself answered the question. Or… he could tell the truth. Really, either way, he was going to wind up spilling the beans. It just depended on which way he would rather answer.

In the end, Akira elected to remain silent. The answer hit Ryuji almost instantaneously.

“Dude. It’s Yusuke, ain’t it.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I mean… he’s a Phantom Thief, ain’t he? There’s you, Morgana, Yusuke and me. I’m assuming you’re not so confident to the point where you’re in love with yourself, Morgana’s a cat and I’m at least half sure you ain’t a furry, it ain’t me, so… that leaves….”

Akira, once again, said nothing. His silence gave all the confirmation they needed, anyway.

“Have you thought about telling Yusuke?” Ann chirped.

Akira shook his head. “No. Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“I just… can’t. Not yet.”

So much could go wrong if he asked Yusuke out at that moment. There was still so much Akira didn’t know about his owns feelings, nevermind Yusuke. Akira knew he was attracted to Yusuke, at least a little bit. Every brush of their hands sent sparks flying through Akira’s body and made every one of his nerves buzz in excitement. Just being around Yusuke caused his heart to speed up a bit. There was a clear indication that he had feelings for Yusuke, and they were definitely positive feelings. Perhaps one day they could be more. Yusuke, on the other hand, was a wild card. He could never tell just what Yusuke was thinking. Akira prided himself on being the silent, observant type. When it came to Yusuke, he didn’t even know where to begin.

Ann hummed softly. “Why don’t you invite him to the beach with you tomorrow?” She suggested. “You know, watch the sunset with him or something romantic like that.”

Akira was tempted to protest, but before he could Ryuji popped back into the conversation. “Yusuke seems to feel somethin’ for you, I think. Even for someone who doesn’t express much emotion, it seems kinda obvious that you’re special. If the fireworks festival had anything to say about it, anyway.”

“...Fine.” Akira pulled his phone out of his back pocket and clicked it on. “I hate you both.”

Ann waved a hand at him dismissively. “You say that now, but you’ll thank us later when you’re making it with him behind a palm tree or something.”

He doubted it would go quite like that, but perhaps she was right about one thing…

* * *

 

_September 10th 2017_

_11:59 pm_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AK:** Hey are you free tomorrow evening?

 **YK:** I believe so. Why?

 **AK:** Would you want to hang out on the beach with me tomorrow?

 **YK:** Sure. That sounds nice.

 **AK:** I’ll text you the details tomorrow.

 **YK:** Of course.

* * *

 

_September 11th 2017_

_12:01 am_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **FS:** gayshit.img 

**FS:** way to go 

**AK:** Where did you get that?

 **AK:** Were your reading that entire conversation??

 **FS:** ;3

 **FS:** gay.mp3 

**AK:** You are an actual gremlin you know that?

 **AK:**  Did you seriously record that conversation?

 **FS:** hehehe

 **FS:** go get him ;3

 **AK:** Gremlin.

 **AK:**  Does this mean you really do have my phone tapped too?

 **FS:** you can figure that one out ;3

 **AK:** You are an actual gremlin.

 **FS:** maybe so ;3

* * *

 

_September 11th 2017_

_1:38 am_

 

**Aloha Bitches**

 

 **Panther:** you know we’ve only been in hawaii a few days and i’ve lost track of how many girls have turned down ryuji

 **Skull:** shut up!

 **Oracle:** can you really blame them :\

 **Oracle:** he has the sex appeal of a rhino

 **Skull:** I AM RIGHT HERE

 **Skull:** I HAVE MORE SEX APPEAL THAN A RHINO SHUT UP

 **Panther:** oh yeah? then explain why every girl turns you down

 **Oracle:** probably a combination of his lack of sex appeal and his hot headed personality

 **Oracle:** not very attractive

 **Panther:** fair point

 **Skull:** shut up!

 **Skull:** i can get a girls number just you wait

 **Panther:** oh yeah? you want to bet on it?

 **Skull:** uh yeah actually i do

 **Panther:** okay. you have until the end of the day to get a girls number. loser has to let the winner do whatever they want

 **Panther:** obviously within reason

 **Skull:** deal

 **Skull:** ann get ready cuz ur gonna lose big time

 **Panther:** oh yeah? let’s make this more interesting then

 **Panther:** how about… winner gets to do whatever they want to the opposite sex within reason

 **Skull:** huh?

 **Panther:** you know. if i win then you, akira and yusuke will all have to accept punishment. if you win then futaba, makoto and i will accept punishment

 **Oracle:** hey wait!

 **Oracle:** i didnt ask for this!

 **Panther:** think of it this way futaba, what chances does ryuji have of actually winning?

 **Panther:** if/when he loses, you can do whatever you want to any of the boys

 **Oracle:** (ʘ‿ʘ)

 **Oracle:** _anything huh_

 **Oracle:** hehehe >:)

 **Joker:** This sounds like a weird sex thing and I don’t know how to feel.

 **Panther:** NO

 **Joker:** Although, gotta say, I really didn’t want to be dragged into this.

 **Oracle:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbrbUfYSt0E ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbrbUfYSt0E)

**Skull:** no

 **Oracle:** (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen. I tried to write the Hawaii date scene this chapter. I really did. Honestly, though? I have no idea what the fuck I want to do with that. I'll figure it out. Probably.  
> Sorry this chapter is a little late. I had finals this week. And aside from finals, this has been...one of the hardest weeks of my life. Writing this makes it all better, though, so it's fine now. Besides, now I'm on summer vacation. That means more time to write.  
> Alright, I know I hyped up this chapter with a lot of gay shit, and nothing more pisses me off then when something gets hyped up and is not as good as it was hyped up to be. I really did try to deliver and I'm sorry it's a bit disappointing. I wanted to make this an extra long chapter with a ton of gay shit to make up for the three chapters that had a lack of gay shit, but sometimes shit happens. All things considered, I'm actually kinda proud of this chapter given what hell this past week was. Hey, maybe sometime I'll tell you guys about it.  
> That's about it. I guess you can consider next chapter part 2 of this chapter? Hopefully? Maybe if I can get my shit together?  
> Side note: I feel really bad about shitting on Ryuji all the time. He's in my top 5 favorites and doesn't deserve to be shit on so much. I'll do him some justice real soon, I promise. Ryuji is a Good Boy and deserves the best.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818


	26. futaba becomes invincible and yusuke gets outed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oracle: akira make me mod  
> Joker: No.  
> Oracle: make me mod  
> Joker: No.

_September 11th 2017_

_7:01 pm_

 

One thing Akira had come to learn about Hawaii was that while during the day it might have been hotter than Satan’s asshole, during sundown it suddenly became rather cold. Not Japan during the winter cold, but still cold nonetheless. Cold enough to require a light jacket or long sleeve shirt.

The sun slowly crept away, a golden orange blossoming in the sky, and across the ocean. Akira sat on one of the benches overlooking the sea, Yusuke right next to him. His silver-grey eyes  studied the ocean carefully, most likely taking in the scenery. Akira wondered what he was thinking about. Art, probably. The sunset was always a gorgeous scene to take in.

The wind rustled through the palm trees and the ocean waves, and a soft shiver ran through Akira. Yusuke cast him an unreadable look. “Are you cold?”

Akira shrugged. “A little bit,” he answered honestly. He had left his sweater in the hotel room, and hadn’t thought to bring a shirt down with him.

Yusuke shrugged off the pastel sweater he had and handed it to Akira. “Here. You look like you could use it more.”

Part of Akira wanted to protest. It was Yusuke’s jacket, didn’t he need that? But the other part of Akira, the part that was completely infatuated with Yusuke in every way, wanted to take the jacket and never give it back. Instead, he took it graciously and muttered a soft thanks.

As to be expected, the jacket practically swallowed Akira. Yusuke was taller, and had a broader frame, after all. “Don’t you need this?”

Yusuke shook his head. “Not particularly. The cold has never bothered me much.”

Right. Yusuke had a resistance to ice.

Akira nodded. He wrapped the thin fabric around himself a little tighter, and inhaled. He leaned back on the bench, his heart thudding rapidly against his chest. Akira wanted nothing more then to scoot closer, so that his thigh was pressed against Yusuke’s, and wrap Yusuke’s arm around him.

“How’s Hawaii been?” Akira asked. The words were different from what he wanted to say.

Yusuke crossed his arms over his chest. A black t-shirt that Akira had never seen him wear clung loosely to his frame. Was Yusuke really that insistent to not show his bare chest? “Boring, honestly. Mostly the teachers let us go off on our own during the day, and well. You know what that’s like.” Whatever it was he had been going to say was cut off. Was there more to it? “How’s it been for you?”

Akira made a face. “...Weird.”

“How so?”

“Aside from Mishima and Ryuji dragging me around to fail at picking up girls, the other night Ann asked me what type of person I was into.” Akira wrinkled his nose at the memory. That conversation had left a sour taste in the back of his throat, and a lot to think through. Of course, it had been cut short after they had to help Mishima, who was keeling over a toilet bowl vomiting. “It was kind of uncomfortable, but they’re just trying to be supportive.”

“...I see.”

Akira bit his lip, before quickly releasing. “Hey, Yusuke?”

“Yes?”

“What’s your type?” He waited a moment before quickly adding “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to.”

“Type? Of woman?” Yusuke shook his head. “None. They’re all beautiful in their own way, but I’m not particularly interested in any woman outside of an artist’s perspective.”

Typical Yusuke.

Akira crossed his legs. “What about...type of guy?”

Yusuke paused briefly, as if thinking over his answer. Anxiously, Akira tugged at the oversized sleeve of Yusuke’s sweater.

“I don’t have an exact ‘type’ but,” Something devious flashed across Yusuke’s face. “I suppose there is one…”

If Akira didn’t know any better, he would have thought that at the end of that statement, Yusuke sent him a knowing glance. Of course, he did know better. That didn’t stop the weird pang of jealousy. Who was Yusuke interested in? Had Akira just misunderstood the statement?

“Oh yeah? Who is it?” Akira raised an eyebrow.

“I think you know.”

Akira’s heart somehow managed to go faster than it already was. Any faster, and it would burst out of his chest. “Enlighten me.” A slight, hopeful smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth.

Yusuke turned towards Akira and cupped one cheek. Akira wrapped both of his arms around Yusuke’s neck. Akira was floating, everything inside was fizzy, like a carbonated soft drink. Everything was light.

Like the last piece of a puzzle, everything made sense. It all clicked into place. Akira leaned in slowly, wanting nothing more than to fill the distance between them. His heart cried out in yearning.

Right then and there, as if some God truly detested Akira, a loud beeping that Akira would later recognize as his phone called out. Akira let out a yelp he would deny until the day he died and pulled away abruptly.

“Jesus Christ..” Akira hissed. He put a hand over his chest and allowed his gaze to return to Yusuke. “Well… that killed the mood.”

Yusuke brushed his soft bangs to the side, only for them to fall back into place. “That was one way to ruin the moment.” He shook his head in disbelief. “We should probably call it a night and head back to the hotel. The sun is set and if we’re not back by curfew then we’re in trouble.”

Akira bit back a whine. Everything inside him protested, and yelled at him to reset the mood, but he knew there was no way to recover from that. Instead he nodded once. “You’re probably right. We should head back.”

Yusuke stood and offered Akira a hand, which he graciously accepted. A simple ink design coated the inside of Yusuke’s left wrist.

“What’s on your wrist?” Akira wondered out loud.

“It’s a stick and poke tattoo.” Yusuke muttered. He began walking back in the direction of the hotel, Akira following close behind. “I got bored, and tattoos have always been fascinating to me.”

“Can I see it?”

Yusuke held out his arm to Akira and allowed him to examine the tattoo. It was small, a simple kanji character: "皇"

The character for "emperor."

Akira had expected Yusuke to go for a more extravagant design.

Akira traced the mark with the pad of his finger. “I never would have pegged you as the tattoo type. What inspired this?”

“Tattoos are still art. The only difference is that your skin is the canvas.” Yusuke tugged open the door to the hotel and held it open. Begrudgingly, Akira let go of Yusuke’s arm and entered the hotel lobby.

“Would you consider getting any more tattoos when you’re old enough?” Akira asked. Typically, tattoos seemed to have a bad representation. If someone was seen with a tattoo, the majority of the time they were associated with gangs and it was assumed to stay away from them. That wasn’t always the case, but as everything did, there was some truth in the statement.

“Of course.” Yusuke approached the elevator and pressed the button to the side. “I don’t see what should stop me from doing so. My body is a canvas, so I should be able to mark it as I desire to.”

The elevator doors opened. Akira jammed the button for the third floor with his thumb. “You have a point. Have you ever considered becoming a tattoo artist?”

“A tattoo artist? That’s always a possibility.” Yusuke crossed both of his arms over his chest. “There’s a lot I would have to take into account, but that is always a possibility.”

A smile crossed Akira’s face. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and clicked it on. “Hey, take a picture with me.”

* * *

 

_September 11th 2017_

_9:10 pm_

 

**Ann Takamaki → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **AT:** so?? how’d it go?

 **AK:** 11.9.17.img 

**AK:** That’s how it went.

 **AT:** omg you guys are actually adorable in that picture

 **AT:** you should smile like that more often

 **AK:** Thanks for the suggestion but no.

 **AT:** wait

 **AT:** akira

 **AK:** Why are you typing like Futaba?

 **AT:** shut it

 **AT:** akira is that yusuke’s jacket??

 **AK:** What?

 **AT:** in that picture. you’re wearing his jacket.

 **AK:** Yeah? It got cold and I didn’t have a shirt on so he offered me his sweater. He had an actual shirt, not to mention a weird resistance to cold because of Goemon, probably, so he gave me his jacket. I tried to give it back but he told me to keep it.

 **AT:** that’s actually so sweet what the hell

 **AT:** akira he totally has feelings for you

 **AK:** I mean

 **AK:** I guess so.

 **AT:** you guess?

 **AK:** Yeah… I think he does, too.

 **AT:** that raises another question

 **AK:** And that question is?

 **AT:** why haven’t you asked him out yet?

 **AK:** Um.

 **AK:** I’m going to hold off on that one.

 **AT:** what?? why?

 **AK:** It’s complicated.

 **AT:** what do you mean? you like him, right?

 **AK:** Yes. I do like him. But here’s the thing.

 **AK:** I don’t think I want to ask him out.

 **AT:** what??

 **AK:** Obviously I wouldn’t be opposed to dating him at some point but right now I just want things to progress naturally.

 **AK:** I’m not just going to be like “hey you almost kissed me earlier before one of my asshole friends decided to text me and completely ruined it but that’s fine you hinted at having feelings for me we should date.”

 **AK:** That would be really rushing it.

 **AT:** wait he almost kissed you

 **AK:** What no I didn’t say that.

 **AT:** you did say that!

 **AT:** not to say i told you so but

 **AT:** _i told you so_

 **AK:** Shut up.

 **AT:** wait so he made the first move?

 **AK:** I guess you could say that..

 **AT:** damn who knew yusuke could be so smooth

* * *

 

_September 12th 2017_

_4:10 pm_

 

**Aloha Bitches**

 

 **Oracle:** welcome back to japan

 **Joker:** Thanks.

 **Skull:** man that trip was a let down…

 **Joker:** Says you.

 **Oracle:** hey akira

 **Oracle:** now that youre back

 **Oracle:** i remember you promising me that you would make me mod

 **Joker:** I didn’t promise that I would make you mod, I said I _might_ make you mod when I get back.

 **Joker:** And now that I’m back and am absolutely jet-lagged, I think I’m going to pass on making you mod.

 **Oracle:** >:(

 **Skull:** dude u would make futaba mod but not me?

 **Oracle:** you dont deserve to be mod ryuji

 **Skull:** neither do u u would just fuck with the chat

 **Oracle:** lmao you right :3

 **Joker:** Both of you zip it, I’m not going to make either of you mod. Makoto and I are the only moderators in this group and we will be the only moderators.

 **Oracle:** akira make me mod

 **Joker:** No.

 **Oracle:** make me mod

 **Joker:** No.

 **Oracle:** make me mod

 **Joker:** No.

 **Oracle:** make me mod or i will hack into your phone

 **Joker:** You already did that. Answer is still no.

 **Oracle:** >:(

* * *

 

_September 12th 2017_

_8:02 pm_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **FS:** make me mod

 **AK:** No.

 **FS:** make me mod

 **AK:** No.

 **FS:** make me mod

 **AK:** No.

 **FS:** make me mod

 **AK:** No.

 **FS:** make me mod

 **AK:** No.

 **FS:** make me mod

 **AK:** No.

 **FS:** make me mod

 **AK:** No.

 **FS:** make me mod

 **AK:** No.

 **FS:** make me mod

 **AK:** No.

 **FS:** make me mod

 **AK:** No.

 **FS:** akira make me a damn mod

 **AK:** No.

* * *

 

_September 13th 2017_

_10:12 am_

 

**Aloha Bitches**

 

 **Oracle:** im gonna ask nicely one more time

 **Oracle:** akira please make me a mod

 **Joker:** No. Stop asking.

 **Oracle:** why wont you make me a mod

 **Joker:** You’re not worthy of that kind of power

 **Oracle:** lmao youre probably right

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has removed_ **_Fox_ ** _from the chat~_

 **Joker:** Hey Futaba?

 **Oracle:** yea?

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has demoted_ **_Oracle_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** You’re no longer a mod :)

 **Oracle:** shit

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has removed_ **_Oracle_ ** _from the chat~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has added_ **_Yusuke Kitagawa_ ** _to the chat~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Yusuke Kitagawa’s_ ** _name to_ **_Fox_ ** _~_

 **Fox:** What just happened?

 **Joker:** Futaba happened.

* * *

  
_September 13th 2017_

_10:14 am_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **FS:** FUCK

 **AK:** :)

 **FS:** add me back

 **AK:** Nah.

 **FS:** youre a bitch

 **AK:** You can’t one up me :) No matter what you do, I’m always one step ahead. Why do you think I’m the Leader.

 **FS:** FUCK

* * *

 

_September 13th 2017_

_10:16 am_

 

**Aloha Bitches**

 

 _~_ **_Futaba Sakura_ ** _has joined the chat~_

 **FS:** surprise bitch :)

 **Joker:** Saw that one coming.

 **Joker:** Demon child.

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Futaba Sakura’s_ ** _name to_ **_Oracle_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** Welcome back to the land of the living I guess.

 **Oracle:** thanks

 **Oracle:** but i think i can make this better

 **Joker:** What are you talking about?

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _changed_ **_Joker’s_ ** _name to_ **_Nasty Crimeboy_ ** _~_

 **NC:** Wow :\

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed_ **_Skull’s_ ** _name to_ **_Normie_ ** _~_

 **Normie:** wh??

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed_ **_Panther’s_ ** _name to_ **_Furry_ ** _~_

 **Furry:** i’m not a furry??

 **Oracle:** your metaverse outfit says otherwise >:3

 **Furry:** what about yusuke’s outfit? he’s the one with the fox tail and mask

 **Fox:** Don’t throw me under the bus like that, please.

 **Oracle:** dont worry about that >;3

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed_ **_Fox’s_ ** _name to_ **_Fox Fucker_ ** _~_

 **FF:** That’s illegal..

 **Oracle:** is that really what youre worried about

 **Normie:** dude has a fair point

 **Oracle:** at least hes not a normie

 **Normie:** im not an effin normie!

 **Oracle:** nor

 **Oracle:** mie

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed_ **_Queen’s_ ** _name to_ **_Phantom Mom_ ** _~_

 **PM:** Futaba is this really necessary…?

 **Oracle:** i speak the truth

 _~_ **_Nasty Crimeboy_ ** _has changed_ **_Oracle’s_ ** _name to_ **_Gremlin_ ** _~_

 **Gremlin:** thats,,,fair

 **Gremlin:** WAIT I HAVE ANOTHER ONE FOR INARI

 **FF:** I didn’t ask for this.

 _~_ **_Gremlin_ ** _has changed_ **_Fox Fucker’s_ ** _name to_ **_Akira’s Sugar Daddy_ ** _~_

 **ASD:** That’s incorrect.

 **NC:** I mean…

 **NC:** I’ll accept that one.

 **Furry:** isn’t a sugar daddy supposed to have money?

 **ASD:** …

 **ASD:** Please don’t out me like this.

 **ASD:** I was already outed once.

 **Normie:** never thought id see yusuke say “dont out me like this”

 **NC:** I just choked

 **Gremlin:** i bet u did u thot :\

 **Gremlin:** wait hold on

 **Gremlin:** wouldnt akira be the furry since hes thirsting after that fox ass or???

 **PM:** Futaba please stop.

 **Furry:** AJSKSHDKJASJDAH

 **Normie:** dude,,,

 **Normie:** something u want to tell us bro?

 **NC:** No.

 **NC:** I can say with complete confidence that I am not a furry and have never experienced any form of sexual attraction towards animal suits.

 **NC:** This has been fun but Futaba you saw this coming.

 _~_ **_Nasty Crimeboy_ ** _has demoted_ **_Gremlin_ ** _~_

 **Gremlin:** this is cyberbullying

 _~_ **_Nasty Crimeboy_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_Joker_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Normie’s_ ** _name to_ **_Skull_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Furry’s_ ** _name to_ **_Panther_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Akira’s Sugar Daddy’s_ ** _name to_ **_Fox_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Phantom Mom’s_ ** _name to_ **_Queen_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Gremlin’s_ ** _name to_ **_Oracle_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** There we go.

 **Joker:** Futaba stop making yourself a mod

 **Oracle:** :( this is bullying

 **Joker:** Anyways, meet at the underground walkway today after school. Futaba, you analysed the data from Sae’s laptop, right?

 **Oracle:** i did >:)

 **Joker:** Perfect. Soon, we’re going to have to discuss our new target. It seems there’s plenty of targets the media has picked out for us, so we just have to pick one we think is worthy of our attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo this was literally not proofread and half of it was written within an hour. During that hour I was also high off of sleeping pills because it is actually 12:30 am and I knew without it I wouldn't sleep, so I apologize for any mistakes.  
> Yesterday it was the first part of the Madarame DLC (if y'all haven't heard I started writing a Madarame DLC since I did his arc no justice and in my opinion it is one of the most important arcs), so if you want you can check that out. Somehow I managed to finish this up really quickly. It looks like we're slowly approaching the end, my dudes. Okumura's arc is much closer than I thought it was. There's still plenty more chapters, but slowly we're coming to a close :)  
> Sidenote: I can't write kiss scenes as my only experiences have been Bad, nor can I write falling in love as I have never experienced that, nor do I know if I want to. Sorry if it's bad, but I really did try. For now, enjoy some nice filler and cute Shukita moments before shit hits the fan, as we know it will.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818


	27. have you seen this human kin?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skull: have u seen this cat? hes bout this tall and thinks hes human but we havent had the talk  
> Joker: asdjkhlkkjlfshkjerfjk

_September 13th 2017_

_2:16 pm_

 

**Aloha Bitches**

 

 **Joker:** Guys. We gotta talk about this.

 **Queen:** Principle Kobayakawa passed away..

 **Joker:** They’re ruling this as a suicide but…

 **Joker:** Listen. I never cared for Principal No-neck but..

 **Skull:** somethin about it aint right

 **Joker:** Exactly.

 **Queen:** Joker, can we not refer to him as “Principal No-neck” right now?

 **Joker:** Right. Sorry. I’ll try to be a bit more respectful.

 **Queen:** Thank you.

 **Joker:** We have to talk about this at the hideout.. Just… after school, meet up at Leblanc. There’s something very wrong about this.

 **Skull:** gotcha

 **Queen:** Understood.

* * *

 

_September 13th 2017_

_4:04 pm_

 

“Before we talk about the data we got from Sis, we need to discuss the incident with Principal Kobayakawa.”

Makoto stood in the center of Leblanc’s attic. Somehow, she had already taken the lead of the meeting, yet it had barely even begun yet. In a way, she was like the second leader of the Phantom Thieves.

Ann shifted uncomfortably. “People are already talking about it online.”

Yusuke sat on the edge of Akira’s bed, his phone in hand. He flicked through posts people had made in concern to the passing of Shujin’s former principal, as well as what others had been saying on the phan-site regarding the newest target. Some posts were rather nice, saying things like “take your time ^_^” and “the phantom thieves are just~.” Most of them, however, were… very aggressive. People were getting impatient. Yusuke couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed, especially given that it hadn't even been a month since they had taken down Medjed. Finding a target took time. It would be difficult to find someone more famous than Medjed.

“Nobody’s sayin’ it’s ‘cause of the Phantom Thieves….” Ryuji muttered. “...So far.” The last part was quickly tacked onto the statement.

Yusuke scrolled through more posts. “People think he did it because that tabloid exposed how he was covering up Kamoshida’s abuse.” He explained. The majority of the statements he had seen in regard to Kobayakawa, or “Principal No-neck” as Akira preferred to call him, had something to do with all the secrets that he had tried -- and failed -- to cover up. The majority of it did, in fact, referred to how nothing was done about Kamoshida. Students were sexually and physically abused by Kamoshida, and yet Kobayakawa had done nothing to prevent it. It had taken three high school students and a cat to put a stop to it, and even then, just because they were no longer being abused didn’t mean that the memories didn’t haunt them. Yusuke knew all about what that was like.

Ann ran her thumb across her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Could it be that we’re responsible for Principal Kobayakawa’s suicide..?”She scuffed at the ground with the toe of her shoe. “If we hadn’t changed Kamoshida’s heart, maybe this would never have happened.”

Ryuji snorted. “Then Kamoshida would have kept doing what he did if we didn’t take him down.” A familiar flash of anger crossed his face. Yusuke never understood how Ryuji was so expressive with his emotions. Then again, Yusuke supposed when something was drilled into someone’s head enough times, it was hard to get it out. Maybe that explained why he didn’t understand most emotions. After all, Madarame had basically trained him to keep all his emotions inside and turn them into art instead.

“There’s a lot of opinions online.” Futaba stated. She sat at the table in Leblanc’s attic, several tabs open on her lime green laptop. “‘It’s only natural he died.’ ‘Covering up crimes is wrong.’” She shook her head. “What do you got, Inari?”

“The comments I’ve seen are similar as well.” Yusuke turned his attention back to his phone screen and read off two of the comments on screen. “‘Only the Phantom Thieves are on our side.’ ‘I wish the Phantom Thieves would take down the police and politicians of this country.’”

Ann sighed. “It’s not just the news. There’s Phantom Thieves merchandise now. I never expected we’d end up as such a big deal…”

Yusuke was tempted to add that they were also wanted criminals so they were, in fact, a “big deal” but inevitably decided against it. “It seems like the public would rather believe in us than in the adults. People are trying to get the Phantom Thieves to solve societal problems, not just personal ones.”

The girl hugged her arms to her chest. “This is kinda scary..”

Makoto pinched the bridge of her nose. “Are we _really_ doing the right thing?”

Ryuji tugged at the leather band on his wrist. “I mean… the principal _was_ coverin’ stuff up, right? In a way, he kinda got what was coming to him…”

Morgana flicked his tail in annoyance. “Guys, we’re getting off topic. Weren’t we going to discuss the information we got from Sae Niijima?”

Futaba nodded. Her fingers flew across the keyboard of her laptop. She sighed. “You tell them, Inari.”

“Why me…?” He wondered out loud. With a shrug, he clicked his phone off and approached her. She scooted her chair over to allow him to read the information on her laptop screen. “First, Prosecutor Niijima has been looking into the continued cases of people suddenly collapsing. It seems she is searching for a common thread to tie them all together. Some parts seem to be speculation, but she has cited a beneficiary of the majority of these incidents.” The room went silent. Everyone’s eyes were suddenly on him, with the exception of Futaba who was anxiously playing with the cord of her headphones. “The corporation Okumura Foods _._ More specifically, their CEO, Kunikazu Okumura.” Looks like Sae Niijima did have information they needed. Okumura had to know something about the mental shutdown cases.

“Okumura…?” Ryuji repeated the name, as if testing it out. “I feel like I’ve heard of that somewhere before…”

“Big Bang Burger.” Akira chimed in. He hadn’t said anything the entire meeting thus far. He hadn’t spoken much to Yusuke since the beach in Hawaii, either. “The company Okumura Foods owns Big Bang Burger.”

Ryuji took a step back. _“Big Bang Burger?!_ For real?!”

Ann made a noise of realization. “You know, they only got famous sometime within the last few years. I mean, they even had a branch in Hawaii.

Futaba clicked on a different tab she had open on her laptop, then highlighted a statement with her mouse. Expectantly, she looked up at Yusuke and tapped on the screen.

So she had done a bit of research. Quickly, he scanned what she had highlighted. Yusuke wasn’t entirely sure why Futaba had appointed him as her translator, but he did appreciate the bit of guidance. “It says here they benefited both from scandals and the resignations of their competitors’ executives.”

That sentence in general raised a few mental alarms. What had happened to the other fast food restaurant chains that had terminated the vast majority, if not all of them? Something about it just didn’t settle right with him. Not all of them could have been victim to scandal, nor could they have all randomly decided to close for business. Clearly something more sinister was going on behind the scenes.

Makoto crossed her arms. “That _would_ seem to be the case…”

Morgana shook his head. “This is too suspicious. Only _one_ CEO is profiting from these seemingly ‘accidental’ incidents. I think it’s natural to suspect he’s intentionally causing them.”

“I get that, but still…” Makoto began.

“We have even more evidence than that. Tell them, Futaba.”

Futaba nodded. She input something into her laptop. “I already tried inputting Okumura’s name into the Nav. He has a palace for sure.”

“That settles it then! He’s our next target.” Ryuji exclaimed.

“That’s right. Okumura is at the top of the rankings, after all.” Morgana agreed.

Something about that didn’t seem quite right. They were jumping the gun a bit. There was still a lot of information that was left unknown. They weren’t even sure if Okumura was guilty of anything.

Yusuke shook his head. “Hold on. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s evil. We can’t  jump into this too carelessly. Beyond that, this Phantom Thieves fad is rather… unsettling.” The idea of people voting on who’s heart they wanted to change next rubbed Yusuke the wrong way. They were supposed to be choosing targets based on their crimes, not based on what others wanted. It didn’t make sense as to why everyone was suddenly so focused on fame instead of justice. The whole reason he had become a Phantom Thief in the first place was to expose criminals for their crimes.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. The excitement levels don’t feel ‘normal,’” Ann said. She put “normal” in air quotes. “We might want to let things calm down first.”

Ryuji scoffed. “You too, Ann? You’re just gonna go against what people want?”

“Huh? No, but…”

“...For real?”

Futaba held her hands up. “Uh...l-looks like we’re not going to agree today, then…”

Morgana made a noise somewhere between a growl and a hiss. “Sheesh, some team _you_ are then. What’s with all the hesitation?! I can’t stand this.” He turned his attention towards Ryuji. “Even _you,_ Ryuji. You just back down the second someone disagrees with you. I guess all you’ve been talking about is using the Phantom Thief name to pick up girls, anyway. Being hyped up because of the popularity is fine, but getting conceited over it is unacceptable.”

“Hey, aren’t you actin’ for your own benefit too?” Ryuji growled.

“My appearance might have changed, but I’m still an admirable human. At the very least, I’m more admirable than some carnal blond monkey.”

Ryuji’s hands balled into fists, as if ready to punch the cat. “You little..!”

Morgana turned his back. “Fine. I can take on some small-time target like Okumura on my own.” He flicked his tail. “Sorry. Looks like I’ll be getting all the credit for solving this mental shutdown mystery.” He hopped off the table before anyone could say anything else. “Looks like I don’t belong here after all. Well, this is goodbye.”

Just like that, he took off.

* * *

 

_September 13th 2017_

_6:49 pm_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AK:** Hey can we talk for a moment?

 **YK:** Of course. What’s on your mind?

 **AK:** I just wanted to talk about what happened back there. With Morgana and Ryuji.

 **AK:** You raised a major concern. We really can’t jump the gun on these things, and it seems like the popularity has been getting to everyone.

 **AK:** Sorry I wasn’t more help. I don’t really know how to handle people arguing like that.

 **YK:** Don’t worry about it. Perhaps I should have just kept my mouth shut, and by now we’d all be going after Okumura.

 **AK:** No. Don’t say that. You brought up a good point. I don’t know why Morgana got so bent out of shape about that. We really did need to hear that.

 **AK:** Are you doing okay?

 **YK:** Yes.

 **YK:** I think.

 **AK:** You think?

 **YK:** Yes?

 **AK:** Yusuke… are you okay?

 **YK:** Honestly?

 **YK:** Not exactly.

 **AK:** What’s wrong?

 **YK:** There’s just a lot I need to deal with. Don’t worry about me, alright?

 **AK:** Don’t tell me not to worry about you. You mean everything to me, and you’ve been through so much. Madarame put you through so much bullshit yet no one stops to think about how that affected you. In general you’ve been put through so much bullshit, yet everyone just brushes it off and you don’t say anything about it. Hell, after everything with Madarame, you haven’t said anything about how you’re doing, mentally or emotionally. You are one of the most important people in my life so do not tell me not to worry about you.

 **AK:**...Sorry. That was a lot.

 **YK:** It’s okay. It never really occurred to me that my mental state might have actually crossed your mind.

 **YK:** Has Morgana come back yet?

 **AK:** Not yet but don’t change the subject. I’m not done worrying about you.

 **YK:** There’s no need for that.

 **AK:** Of course there’s a need for that. You’re a human being with genuine emotions, yet you keep it all inside and act like it’s not there. That’s really not good for you, you know?

 **AK:** You never say anything and then act like it’s all okay. I won’t force you to open up about it, but just know that you mean everything to me. Okay?

 **YK:**...Okay.

* * *

 

_September 14th 2017_

_8:04 am_

 

**Aloha Bitches**

 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Have you seen this Human Kin?_ ** _~_

 **Queen:** I take it by the name change that Morgana still isn’t back?

 **Joker:** No..

 **Skull:** he’ll prolly be back just give it some time

 **Joker:** You sure? He didn’t yell at me to go to bed last night and he would never miss that opportunity unless he has to.

 **Skull:** dont worry bout it hes just a little butthurt that we pointed out wats wrong with stormin into okumuras palace without any proof of the shit hes done

 **Queen:** That may be true, however based on what we know, Okumura may have some ties to the mental shutdown cases. It wouldn’t hurt to at least look into it.

 **Joker:** Still, we don’t have any definite proof of that. There’s a lot about Okumura we don’t know just yet.

 **Queen:** Does anyone else find it the least bit suspicious that Okumura is at the top of the rankings?

 **Joker:** Hmm… There is definitely something wrong about all of this.

 **Skull:** have u seen this cat? hes bout this tall and thinks hes human but we havent had the talk

 **Joker:** asdjkhlkkjlfshkjerfjk

 **Queen:** Ryuji…

 **Joker:** No he has a point.

 **Joker:** Missing cat, thinks he’s human.

 **Queen:** If Morgana thinks he’s human then we should respect that.

 **Joker:** Okay but real talk for a moment. Do you think he went into Okumura’s palace by himself…?

 **Queen:** It’s possible. Do you think we should check?

 **Joker:** If he’s not back by tomorrow, that seems like a good idea…

 **Joker:** I’ll keep you guys updated. Now I have to go because Kawakami is giving me a dirty look. At least she doesn’t throw chalk at me like that one asshole Ushimaru.

* * *

 

_September 15th 2017_

_12:11 am_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **FS:** yo inari

 **FS:** you awake?

 **YK:** I am.

 **FS:** perfect

 **YK:** Is there something I can help you with?

 **FS:** youre an artist

 **YK:** I am an artist. Thank you for noticing.

 **FS:** shut up im not done

 **FS:** do you do digital art by any chance?

 **YK:** No. I haven’t done much with digital art, but I would be interested to take it up at some point. However, I much prefer traditional art

 **FS:** :\

 **FS:** alright whatever i can work with this

 **YK:** Why?

 **FS:** do you take commissions?

 **YK:** Not usually.

 **FS:** can i commission you?

 **YK:** Depends. What do you want drawn?

 **FS:** uhhhhh

 **FS:** do you do nsfw art?

 **YK:** Typically, no.

 **FS:** what if i pay you extra

 **YK:** How much?

 **FS:** :\ how did i know that would get your attention

 **YK:** Because I’m broke and am constantly in need of money?

 **FS:** you right

 **FS:** alright listen heres the deal

 **FS:** all this shit with mona going missing is kinda stressing me out and i need something to take my mind off of it

 **FS:** ill bet that you could use a distraction too

 **YK:** Okay. Where exactly are you going with this?

 **FS:** im going to pay you to draw me something

 **FS:** fully colored

 **FS:** as detailed and intricate as you want

 **FS:** to help the both of us

 **FS:** sound good?

 **YK:** That depends. What exactly do you want me to draw?

 **FS:** something cursed

 **YK:** You mean like half of Akira’s personas?

 **FS:** that wasnt what i meant but yeah youre right

 **FS:** the fucking devil sitting on a toilet was kinda gross

 **YK:** I’m not a fan of the weird centipede mask claw...thing.

 **FS:** i think i know which one youre talking about i hate that thing so much

 **FS:** uhhhh rangda i think it is?

 **YK:** Honestly it’s hard to keep track of all his personas

 **FS:** yeah

 **FS:** ok but

 **FS:** whats the most cursed thing youll draw?

 **YK:** That depends. What are you thinking?

 **FS:** would you draw sans x papyrus skull fucking?

 **YK:** I would much rather not.

 **FS:** fair enough

 **FS:** what about futa jail break from the emoji movie x smiler smut?

 **YK:** You’re really pushing it with that one.

 **FS:** furry eric cartman mpreg?

 **YK:** Why would you even want that?

 **FS:** i didnt come here to be questioned

 **FS:** will you draw it or not?

 **YK:**...Fine.

 **FS:** wait seriously

 **YK:** I’m getting paid for this, right?

 **FS:** OK WAIT

 **FS:** can i get mpreg freddy fazbear art?

 **YK:** Okay.

 **FS:** are you serious

 **YK:** Yes.

 **FS:** holy shit you are a blessing

 **FS:** how much would that cost

 **YK:** Your dignity.

 **FS:** thats...fair

 **FS:** ok but for real how much

 **YK:** 3000¥

 **FS:** total?

 **YK:** Yes.

 **FS:** ok for your sanity can i also commision actual art

 **YK:** Yes.

 **FS:** can i get phoenix ranger featherman r fanart

 **FS:** all 5 of the rangers

 **YK:** Okay.

 **FS:** how much is that??

 **YK:** also 3000¥

 **FS:** ok

 **FS:** i can pay you tomorrow

 **YK:** Okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is late, I have had zero motivation to do any writing all week. Originally this chapter was planned to be much..darker, but I couldn't write it for the life of me. Instead we got Futaba and Yusuke being cursed. Mike, you're welcome.  
> Okumura's arc officially starts now. Boy do I have... plans ;)  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818


	28. t-posing and akira dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oracle: after the mpreg freddy conversation i thought he could deal with anything  
> Panther: i’m sorry the what

_September 15th 2017_

_8:12 pm_

 

**Have you seen this Human Kin?**

 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Beauty Kin Support Group_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** So. Beauty Thief, huh.

 **Joker:** Now we know who’s doing Morgana’s dirty work..

 **Skull:** so wat do u think leader? we doin this?

 **Joker:** What we’re doing is trying to bring Morgana back.

 **Queen:** That Beauty Thief seemed vaguely familiar. I recognize her from somewhere, but I don’t entirely know where…

 **Skull:** yea i get that feeling too

 **Skull:** u think she goes to our school?

 **Queen:** It’s..certainly possible.

 **Queen:** Tomorrow we can look through the student records and see if anyone seems familiar.

 **Joker:** “We”?

 **Queen:** Yes, we. Meaning those of us who attend Shujin Academy will be looking through the records.

 **Skull:** all of us?

 **Queen:** Yes. You too, Ryuji.

 **Joker:** What about Ann?

 **Queen:** Her, too.

 **Joker:** @Panther you’re helping look through student records.

 **Panther:** me too?

 **Joker:** Yep. If the rest of us have to, so do you.

 **Panther:** damn

 **Queen:** The more of us helping, the quicker it’ll go by. It would benefit us to know who exactly “Beauty Thief” is.

 **Panther:** fair enough. i’ll help out.

 **Joker:** Me too.

 **Skull:** i guess i got nothin better to do

 **Queen:** Perfect. After classes, meet in the student council room.

 **Skull:** gotcha

 **Panther:** sure thing.

 **Joker:** Got it.

* * *

 

_September 16th 2017_

_2:04 am_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **FS:** yo inari hows the art going

 **YK:** I’m working on it. It takes time, not to mention I have other priorities.

 **FS:** i know i was just wondering

 **FS:** hows mpreg freddy?

 **YK:** I haven’t started on that one yet.

 **FS:** saving the best for last?

 **YK:** Something like that.

 **FS:** ok

 **FS:** so

 **FS:** i have a request

 **YK:** Okay?

 **FS:** in a southern accent

 **FS:** can you say “its high noon”

 **FS:**???

 **YK:** Why would I do that?

 **FS:** because

 **FS:** you sound just like this overwatch character

 **FS:** and his thing is that he says “its high noon”

 **YK:** It’s two in the morning?

 **FS:** :\ your point?

 **FS:** just please say its high noon?????

 **YK:** I’ll pass.

 **FS:** inari

 **FS:** inari pls

 **YK:** No.

 **FS:** inari

 **FS:** what if i pay you

 **FS:** DONT IGNORE ME YOU SHIT I KNOW YOURE ONLINE

 **YK:**...I’ll consider it.

 **FS:** damn how broke are you?

 **YK:** Very.

 **FS:** :\

 **FS:** good thing i commissioned you?

 **YK:** I’m beginning to question whether it was worth it.

* * *

 

_September 16th 2017_

_4:59 pm_

 

**Beauty Kin Support Group**

 

 **Joker:** We found out who Beauty Thief is.

 **Fox:** Who is she?

 **Queen:** Haru Okumura, a third year at Shujin.

 **Fox:** Okumura? You mean she’s Okumura’s daughter?

 **Joker:** Yep.

 **Queen:** The question is why would she want to change her own father’s heart…

 **Fox:** Were you able to talk to her?

 **Joker:** While I was leaving the school I ran into her, and Makoto and I were able to talk to her briefly. We asked if it was possible all of us could work together.

 **Fox:** Well? What was her response?

 **Queen:** Unfortunately, she said no, and said that her and Morgana would change Okumura’s heart alone.

 **Fox:** This isn’t about Okumura. Morgana is acting recklessly and we’re trying to talk to him.

 **Joker:** She wouldn’t listen. Morgana wasn’t with her, either, so we weren’t able to talk to him either.

 **Fox:** Where do we go from here?

 **Joker:** Tomorrow we’ll stake out Mementos. Some… requests from the phan-site have been filled, and it most certainly hasn’t been us. Morgana and Haru have been changing hearts in Mementos, and have been acting very recklessly.

 **Joker:** Tomorrow we’ll stake out Mementos and wait for them. After school, meet us at the hideout. We’ll discuss it from there.

 **Fox:** Understood.

 **Queen:** Got it.

* * *

 

_September 17th 2017_

_10:12 pm_

 

**Beauty Kin Support Group**

 

 **Panther:** so...are we going to talk about this?

 **Skull:** that was super effed

 **Queen:** Joker, how’s Haru?

 **Joker:** Exhausted.

 **Oracle:** and mona?

 **Joker:** Also exhausted. I think he’s glad to be back, but won’t admit it.

 **Panther:** i guess haru is one of us?

 **Joker:** For the time being, at least. If she chooses to stay with us, that’s her choice.

 **Fox:** Okumura is now a definite target?

 **Joker:** Absolutely. What he’s doing is not okay in the slightest. There’s no doubt in my mind that Okumura absolutely should be a target. Does anyone have any objections to this?

 **Skull:** no. wat he’s doing is fucked up. harus not his property, shes a human being. she shouldnt be forced to marry a dbag like that

 **Panther:** i agree with ryuji.

 **Fox:** Agreed.

 **Queen:** Me too.

 **Oracle:** same here

 **Joker:** Perfect. Tomorrow we’ll talk more about it, but for now let’s just get some rest.

* * *

 

_September 18th 2017_

_12:34 am_

 

**Yusuke Kitagawa → Futaba Sakura**

 

 **YK:** commission.img 

**YK:** Is this what you wanted.

 **FS:** jesus fuck that is cursed

 **YK:** You asked for this.

 **YK:** While we were in Mementos, Ryuji looked over my shoulder and saw what I was drawing.

 **YK:** His response was, and I quote, “Dude… what the eff.”

 **YK:** I had to explain to him that no, I am not drawing pregnant Freddy Fazbear for my own sake, but it was a commission.

 **YK:** Have you ever had to witness the look in your friend’s eye as you tried to explain to them that you’re desperate for money and someone wanted this? Have you ever witnessed any respect they had for you just fade?

 **YK:** No, you haven’t.

 **FS:** pfffffft

 **YK:** Ryuji now thinks that I am legitimately aroused by pregnant animatronics. I’m not, and drawing this has taken away any sanity I had remaining.

 **YK:** I hope you’re happy.

 **FS:** thats,,so cursed

 **FS:** thank you i love it

* * *

 

_September 18th 2017_

_3:19 am_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Ryuji Sakamoto**

 

 **FS:** hey normie you up for a round of overwatch ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿

 **RS:** im not a norm ie

 **FS:** norm ie??

 **RS:** it was a typo shhhh

 **FS:** :33 ok normie

 **RS:** SHUT

 **FS:** are you up for overwatch or not ( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)

 **RS:** yea hold on lemme grab my headset

 **FS:** yeet ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿

* * *

 

_September 18th 2017_

_5:27 am_

 

**Beauty Kin Support Group**

 

 **Oracle:** cant believe ryuji is not only a normie but hes a hanzo main :\

 **Oracle:** disowned

 **Skull:** hanzo isnt that bad ok??

 **Oracle:** ryuji

 **Oracle:** you main hanzo

 **Oracle:** maining a character is already annoying af but

 **Oracle:** the fact that its hanzo,,,

 **Oracle:** please tell me you dont play mei

 **Oracle:** or genji

 **Skull:** no

 **Oracle:** thank god

 **Panther:** why the hell are you two blowing up the group at 5:30 am?

 **Panther:** ryuji did you get any sleep?

 **Skull:** nah

 **Panther:** you’re going to pass out during class..

 **Skull:** i sleep through math anyways at least now i have an excuse

 **Panther:** this is why you’re failing all your classes

 **Skull:** shut

 **Panther:** wait futaba which character do you main?

 **Oracle:** i dont main any character maining is lame (¬_¬)

 **Oracle:** mccree and widowmaker are p great though theyre probably my favorites

 **Skull:** you just play them to piss everyone off and show them how good you are at overwatch

 **Oracle:** i mean,,yeah

 **Oracle:** 12 year olds get so pissed too

 **Oracle:** hey not my fault they suck ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Oracle:** anyone else find it weird that mccree and inari sound so similar tho?

 **Skull:** i mean..now that you mention it…

 **Panther:** i don’t really know anything about overwatch so i couldn’t say

 **Oracle:** i tried to get him to say its high noon but he wouldnt go for it :\

 **Oracle:** i even offered to pay him

 **Skull:** damn

* * *

 

_September 18th 2017_

_1:00 pm_

 

**Beauty Kin Support Group**

 

 **Panther:** i just remembered ryuji lost that bet

 **Queen:** Bet?

 **Panther:** i bet him that he couldn’t get a girls number by the end of our school trip

 **Panther:** and he lost

 **Skull:** i was hopin u forgot abt that

 **Panther:** you wish

 **Oracle:** ooh yeah that bet >:3c

 **Oracle:** does this mean we get to mess with the male half of our team >:33

 **Panther:** it does

 **Skull:** ah man

 **Joker:** Yusuke and I had nothing to do with this bet why do we have to suffer too?

 **Panther:** sorry leader but that’s just how it is

 **Panther:** if it means anything, makoto is on our side and she might show you guys a bit of mercy

 **Queen:** Maybe.

 **Skull:** dammit

 **Skull:** wat r u planning on doin to us?

 **Oracle:** >;3

 **Panther:** the rules were the winner was able to do anything to the opposite sex within reason

 **Panther:** that goes for you futaba

 **Oracle:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Oracle:** ooo we could dress them in drag

 **Panther:** i actually really like that idea

 **Queen:** I can work with this.

 **Oracle:** i call dibs on doing ryujis makeup >:3

 **Skull:** uh pls no

 **Skull:** anyone but the gremlin

 **Panther:** futaba you don’t wear makeup?

 **Oracle:** your point?

 **Oracle:** i can figure it out

 **Panther:** he’s all yours

 **Oracle:** ;33

 **Skull:** damn

 **Joker:** Let’s be realistic, whatever happens, Yusuke is going to look prettier than all of us.

 **Joker:** This isn’t just me being super gay for him, it’s a statement. He is actually the prettiest phantom thief and there is nothing we can do that would change that.

 **Panther:** i would argue but you’re right

 **Panther:** no amount of makeup or skin care could ever make me that pretty

 **Panther:** yusuke is a pretty boy and looks better than any of us

 **Panther:** i feel like this is a challenge now

 **Panther:** makoto, can you take akira? i _need_ to do yusuke’s makeup

 **Queen:** That’s fine.

 **Joker:** Oh thank God.

 **Joker:** Makoto please spare me.

 **Queen:** I’ll do my best.

 **Skull:** when is all of this happenin?

 **Panther:** how’s this weekend?

 **Queen:** That works for me.

 **Oracle:** hell yeah ;3c

 **Joker:** I guess we can make time this weekend.

 **Joker:** Before we head into the palace you three can probably do our makeup.

 **Panther:** we can meet at my place!

 **Joker:** Sure.

 **Panther:** akira why do i feel like you’re more okay with this then you should be?

 **Joker:** Makoto please make me beautiful.

 **Queen:** Of course.

 **Panther:** why am i not surprised.

* * *

 

_September 18th 2017_

_1:48 pm_

 

**Makoto Niijima → Ann Takamaki**

 

 **MN:** Hey Ann? I have a question.

 **AT:** what’s up?

 **MN:** help.img 

**MN:** What exactly...are Ryuji and Akira doing?

 **AT:** AKSDJAL:SDKJLASLKJDKJLA

 **AT:** are they t-posing mishima into a corner?

 **MN:** I don’t know?

 **MN:** What’s t-posing?

 **AT:** it’s basically...you’re posing and you look like a lowercase t

 **MN:** Why are they aggressively t-posing at that boy?

 **AT:** i don’t know?

 **AT:** but that is my new phone background

 **AT:** where are you guys? i need to see this for myself.

 **MN:** Third floor corridor, right by the student council room. I came out and they were just...there.

 **AT:** i’m on my way

* * *

 

_September 18th 2017_

_1:50 pm_

 

**Beauty Kin Support Group**

 

 **Panther:** tpose.img 

**Oracle:** PFFFFT

 **Oracle:** ARE AKIRA AND RYUJI TPOSING

 **Panther:** they are t-posing mishima into a corner

 **Panther:** the admin of the phan-site is trapped in a corner between two delinquents who are aggressively t-posing at him.

 **Panther:** the phantom thieves of hearts, everybody.

 **Oracle:** we should t-pose at akechi >;3

 **Panther:** i said that to akira and he almost stopped t-posing he was so shaken up by that concept

 **Fox:** Why are they doing that?

 **Panther:** “to assert our dominance” -ryuji 2k17

 **Fox:** Well…

 **Oracle:** theyve asserted their dominance over the npc

 **Oracle:** now they need to assert their dominance over each other

 **Panther:** i read that out loud to them and i think all hell just broke loose

 **Panther:** they are trying to out t-pose the other person

 **Panther:** their chests are touching

 **Panther:** dumbasses.img 

**Panther:** t-posing.img 

**Panther:** dominance.img 

**Oracle:** yo inari thats your man

 **Fox:** I am… suddenly regretting everything that has lead me to this point.

 **Panther:** _wait did i just read that correctly_

 **Fox:** I would assume so?

 **Panther:** _yusuke wtf do you mean that’s your man is there something you want to tell us_

 **Fox:** Whoops.

 **Panther:** akira read that and i think his heart stopped

 **Fox:** Damn. Guess I have to find a new man.

 **Joker:** Yusuke is that a confession?

 **Fox:** I..

 **Fox:** Plead the fifth.

 **Panther:** yusuke you’re even stealing his thing you guys are adorable

 **Panther:** okay mishima tried to sneak away and ryuji and akira are now running down the hall t-posing after him

 **Panther:** something you want to tell akira?

 **Fox:** I’m in the middle of math class I don’t think this is the time or place to go into that.

 **Oracle:** no its ok confess your love in a group chat while youre in class

 **Fox:** Shouldn’t Akira and Ryuji be in class right now?

 **Panther:** probably

 **Oracle:** no theyre busy tposing

 **Fox:** I’m..just not going to deal with this right now.

 **Oracle:** no wait inari come back

 **Panther:** wow. somehow we managed to absolutely murder yusuke via text

 **Oracle:** after the mpreg freddy conversation i thought he could deal with anything

 **Panther:** i’m sorry the what

 **Oracle:** don’t worry about it ;3

* * *

 

_September 19th 2017_

_2:28 pm_

 

Okumura’s palace, Akira had decided, was simultaneously the most impressive and most obnoxious palace that had yet to be explored. The past four had all been their own types of impressive, however none of that compared to outer space. At the same time, while they all had their own obstacles (infrared lasers, security cameras, insanely high temperatures), none of those obstacles could compare to outer space, either. Not to mention, none of the other palaces had robots. Fucking robots. In other circumstances, that might have been awesome as hell, but in this case it was disgusting and just straight up annoying.

Safe rooms were a saving grace. As per usual. Between Haru, er, _Noir,_ sitting at the head of the table with her head in her arms, or Oracle laying on her stomach on one of the benches, the exhaustion was clear on everyone’s faces. In the long run, at least Joker wasn’t the only one who had to suffer. The entire thing was just long and annoying. It would be worth it, though. It always was.

Fox stood against one of the walls, his white and red mask gripped between his gloved fingers. With his other hand, he wearily brushed strands of silky, blue hair to the side. It fell back into place as soon as he took his hand away, as to be expected. Without thinking, Joker approached him.

Yusuke offered him a half hearted smile. “Something I can help you with?”

Akira returned the affection. “Isn’t gracing me with your presence enough?” He leaned against the concrete wall. Vague memories of their Hawaii trip played in the back of his mind, like a movie at the theater. Yusuke’s jacket still sat in Akira’s room, right on his futon. It had yet to be washed, out of fear that once it was, it would wash away the smell of paint and Yusuke’s cologne.

His heart did backflips in his chest, similar to the way Akira himself would backflip off of shadows. What had started as a harmless prank and an experiment to see just what would happen if he and Ryuji were to t-pose Mishima into a corner (Mishima had been very confused and a little scared. It was kind of funny though, and later Akira apologized and made sure Mishima was alright. He was fine, just confused.), had greatly worked out in Akira’s favor. Thinking back on Yusuke’s text still caused Akira’s stomach to squirm. Obviously it had been a joke, saying he would have to find a “new man.” Between Hawaii and Morgana running away, several questions had come up that Joker still did not have an answer to. Not much had been said outside the group chat after Hawaii. Aside from their personal messages after Morgana had run off, minimal effort had been made to reach out to the other person. After all of this time, Akira still had no clue what Yusuke was thinking. Perhaps it was time to finally confront these issues head on, while they still had time and no one was paying attention to them.

Akira removed the mask from his face and clutched it in one hand. “Can we talk for a minute?”

Yusuke nodded once. “Of course. What’s on your mind?”

Akira’s throat was dry.  Swallowing was like sandpaper against his esophagus. “Um… about what was said in the group chat. Futaba was joking when she said that I was yours, obviously, but… Were you just going along with it or...?” He trailed off.

Yusuke raised one fine eyebrow. “Was I not clear enough?” He sighed. “Well, if I’m being completely honest here, I don’t know how I feel about you.”

“What do you mean?” Akira’s voice was steady, yet gentle. Almost an offer. Even he had no idea how he remained so calm.

“When I’m around you, it’s as if my problems just disappear for a little, and just for a moment, everything is as normal as it could ever possibly be for me. You make everything just slightly easier to tolerate. No matter how exhausting life has gotten, you have been there with consistent support for me. I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to grasp it. Does that make any sense?”

“That makes perfect sense.”

Akira’s breath hitched. He sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, a tight knot forming in the pit of his stomach. In retrospect, this may have been the first time (outside of Madarame’s palace) where Yusuke had ever been direct about his emotions. Sometimes, Akira wondered just how Yusuke was able to keep it together.

He swallowed, and inhaled slowly through his nose. “I’m assuming this point you already know about how I feel. It seems that everyone knows.” A teasing edge surrounded his words, as if inviting Yusuke to show him otherwise. Or perhaps just allow him closer.

The corner of Yusuke’s mouth twitched into something like a smirk. “You’ll have to enlighten me.”

Had it not been for the metal walls and piercing eyes of his teammates, Joker might have spilled everything then and there. Instead, he took a few steps closer, leaning in. “Come to Leblanc after this exploration.” His words were but a faint whisper.

Fox nodded. His face fell back into its usual deadpan. “Understood.”

Before he let his doubt get the best of him, Akira placed a teasing kiss on Yusuke’s jaw, right by the corner of his mouth, and stalked off. Back to the head of the table, right across from Noir.

“Alright, let’s consult. How’s our progress?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for how obscenely cursed this chapter is. On the bright side, this chapter is extra long, so hopefully this makes up for how chapters have been late the past two weeks.  
> I don't have anything to say for this. Half of this chapter was written when I was drunk tired and laughing about the thought of Akira and Ryuji aggressively t-posing at Mishima and then trying to out t-pose each other to assert dominance. Shout out to Mike for being a fucking enabler while this was happening.  
> Oh yeah and for those of you who don't know, Yusuke's english voice actor also does the voice of McCree from Overwatch. I don't know anything about Overwatch, but I do know that Matt Mercer is my actual fucking idol and I had to make that joke.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818


	29. haru joins a cult and yusuke's a fuckboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noir: Actually cannibalism is not illegal in japan!  
> Joker: wh…  
> Oracle: cronch cronch bitch

_September 19th 2017_

_7:05 pm_

 

Okumura’s palace, Yusuke had decided, was by far the most obnoxious and tedious palace they had yet to come across. Every five minutes they had to stop and fight a shadow as the shadows left no room to sneak by them, they had to run around gathering information from “employees” and fight more powerful shadows to obtain keys, and overall it was an unpleasant time. He couldn’t help but feel like a chicken with its head cut off. On the bright side, it would pay off in the end. Not to mention, in terms of aesthetic, it was definitely one of the more pleasing palaces.

After fighting one of the higher ups, they (meaning Akira) had decided that they would stop the palace exploration for the day. Ann had taken an especially powerful hit while fighting one of the director manager chief whatever the hell his position was and it had clearly taken a toll on her. Ryuji had been on the end of an unfortunate wind attack while Morgana had been electrocuted, and even Yusuke had been unfortunate enough to come face to face with an enemy who specialized in fire attacks. Everyone was exhausted, and perhaps cutting it short had been a good idea. They would always be back tomorrow.

The others had begun to disappear from Leblanc’s attic. Akira stood by the shelf and whispered something to Morgana, who nodded and took off. Yusuke crossed his arms over his chest, curious to see where this would go.

“So,” Akira started. Strands of messy black hair hung in front of his face. He looked over with amusement; a taunting smirk, as if saying “I know something you don’t” plastered on. That smug smirk… When they had first met, Yusuke had wanted to slap the smirk off of that face. Akira, while he had only been looking out for him, had invoked an extreme rage in him that he wasn’t entirely sure how to handle. In seemed Akira knew how to invoke several different emotions from Yusuke.

In a few quick strides, Akira crossed the attic space, and stood directly in front of Yusuke. “I’m sure at this point you know how I feel about you, right?”

“Wasn’t the whole reason you called me here to discuss how you feel about me?” Yusuke recalled their conversation in one of the safe rooms of Okumura’s palace. The conversation had been cut short, with a kiss pressed against his cheek. Yusuke’s nerves still hummed with excitement.

Akira pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. That chaotic, mischievous Joker glint shined behind otherwise dull grey eyes. “You’re right.” He chuckled. Akira placed his hand on Yusuke’s bicep and gave a reassuring squeeze. “It’s really no secret that I admire you. I think you’re the only one who didn’t realize.”

“Really?” Yusuke’s voice held a hint of amusement. Beyond his cool exterior, however, was a storm he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Waves upon waves of emotion crashed against the shore. Emotions he couldn’t even begin to wrap his mind around. All he knew is that, whatever it was, he wanted to pull Akira close and never let go.

Akira grinned. That smile could light up the darkest of rooms. Sometimes, Yusuke thought that smile was the only light in his life. A splash of bright color against his otherwise grey world. Afterall, it had been that smile that had reached out to him when he was in denial.

“Let me put it in easy terms: I want you.” There was no cockiness or edge to Akira’s words. He spoke steadily, and any hint of uncertainty or ambiguity was repressed, if not uninexstant. “You captivate me, and I am completely drawn to you. Now that you’re in my life, I want you to stay in my life.”

Akira’s touch had moved from Yusuke’s arm, and his arms were hooked around Yusuke’s neck. Almost instinctively, Yusuke wrapped his arms around Akira’s waist.

Unspoken words lingered on Yusuke’s tongue. The bittersweetness of everything he had kept inside, all threatening to pour out. Somethings were best kept internalized, but other things…

“I want you, too.”

It slipped away before Yusuke could stop himself from speaking.

Akira leaned forward, but Yusuke turned his head to the side last second. For whatever reason, he couldn’t bring himself to kiss Akira. At least, not yet. All things considered, after what happened on the beach, Yusuke didn’t understand it himself. Back there, the desire to kiss Akira with everything he had had been overbearing. But now, upstairs in the attic, all Yusuke wanted was reassurance. He wasn’t entirely sure what this meant for them, but whatever it was, he was willing to go along with it. If being a Phantom Thief had taught him anything, it was that some risks were worth taking.

Akira captured the very corner of Yusuke’s mouth, and everything within Yusuke craved more.

Instead, Akira rested his chin on Yusuke’s shoulder. “What does this make us?” He whispered.

“It doesn’t matter.” Yusuke stated. His heartbeat quickened in pace, the same way it had come to do when in Akira’s presence. Sometimes Yusuke wondered if that was natural, or if Akira just had him under his control.

Akira made a noise. “Just as long as I’m yours.”

* * *

 

_September 19th 2017_

_8:37 pm_

 

**Beauty Kin Support Group**

 

 **Skull:** hey so i have another question

 **Skull:** is it possible to microwave ravioli yes or no

 **Queen:** Why are you so insistent on microwaving foods you can easily prepare?

 **Skull:** can i micrwovave it just answer the question

 **Panther:** “micrwovave”

 **Skull:** ann shut

 **Oracle:** [ :3.pmg ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357689731938516993/464993544180858880/unknown.png)

**Skull:** eff

 **Oracle:** >:3

 **Skull:** HEY WAIT

 **Skull:** U USED INSPECT ELEMENT FOR THAT U GREMLIN

 **Oracle:** whaaat why would i do that

 **Skull:** becuz ur an effin gremlin thats why

 **Oracle:** hmmmm >;3

 **Skull:** im microwaving ravioly fuck you

 **Queen:** Ryuji that is how you get food poisoning.

 **Skull:** nah theyre premade

 **Skull:** all i have to do is reheat them

 **Panther:** are you sure about that?

 **Skull:** i think

 **Joker:** Why do I always come in at the weirdest moments.

 **Skull:** oh hey

 **Panther:** at least he didn’t say “microbiology” this time

 **Joker:** Ann I’m still just as confused about that as you are.

 **Joker:** Anyways can everyone behave for like three minutes?

 **Oracle:** no >:)

 **Skull:** nah

 **Panther:** nope

 **Queen:** I wish.

 **Joker:** You know what I’ll take it.

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has added_ **_Haru Okumura_ ** _to the chat~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Haru Okumura’s_ ** _name to_ **_Noir_ ** _~_

 **Skull:** oh hey

 **Oracle:** it haru

 **Noir:** Oh! Hello!

 **Joker:** Welcome to this hell I apologize in advance.

 **Oracle:** (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

 **Skull:** futaba wtf is that thing

 **Oracle:** a blessing

 **Panther:** thanks! i hate it!

 **Joker:** Guys…

 **Noir:** What is happening?

 **Queen:** It’s not worth questioning. No one else seems to know what’s happening, either.

 **Joker:** It’s a group chat. Also the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.

 **Skull:** yea thats fair

 **Panther:** this was a mistake but at least we’re not flooding the main chat

 **Joker:** Yeah that’s fair.

 **Noir:** Thank you for adding me!

 **Joker:** It’s no problem. You’re one of us now, right?

 **Noir:** Yes!

 **Oracle:** welcome to hell

 **Queen:** Futaba, please.

 **Oracle:** whoops

 **Queen:** Welcome to the group, Haru.

 **Noir:** Thank you!

 **Skull:** hell yea raviolli is done

 **Panther:** take a shot every time ryuji misspells “ravioli”

 **Skull:** ANN SHUT

 **Panther:** nah

_~ **Joker** has changed the name of the chat to  **Ravioli** ~ _

**Skull:**  wow

 **Joker:** Hey Ryuji do you remember how during the Hawaii trip you and Ann shoved fucking crackers under my hotel room door?

 **Skull:** yea y

 **Panther:** oh i remember that!

 **Skull:** seeing as how you ate the floor crackers i would hope u remember ann

 **Panther:** you were wasting perfectly good crackers what was i supposed to do

 **Oracle:** oh that was all over your snapchat story

 **Oracle:** i laughed super hard seeing that

 **Queen:** Ann… that’s so unsanitary…

 **Panther:** ryuji was wasting some perfect club crackers.

 **Panther:** makoto they were club crackers.

 **Oracle:** truly the superior cracker

 **Skull:** eh triscuts are better

 **Oracle:** you take that back you backstabbing little bitch

 **Skull:** no triscuts are better

 **Oracle:** you cant even spell it correctly

 **Oracle:** its *triscuits

 **Joker:** Hey guys?

 **Panther:** oh yeah right.

 **Panther:** why do you mention the crackers?

 **Joker:** I was cleaning up my room a bit and found some crackers in my suitcase.

 **Joker:** What the fuck.

 **Noir:** This sure seems like a lively group~

 **Oracle:** ya

 **Queen:** It is an experience, to say the least.

 **Queen:** Typically Yusuke and myself are able to… somewhat restrain them. Akira, too, when he’s actually serious…

 **Queen:** Correction: Yusuke is able to somewhat restrain Akira. Sometimes. When he’s not unintentionally enabling Akira. At least, I think it’s unintentional...

 **Skull:** im jst,,not gonna say anything

 **Oracle:** that joke is too easy

 **Joker:** Hey we have to have some fun sometimes . As long as nothing’s broken and no one is arrested I don’t care ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Queen:** Right. You “t-posed” that poor student into a corner and then proceeded to chase him down the hallway. During class time, need I remind you.

 **Joker:** Mishima was fine.

 **Joker:** Anyways does anyone want to explain the club crackers in my suitcase?

 **Oracle:** eat them

 **Joker:** No.

 **Joker:** They are actually rock hard.

 **Oracle:** is anyone going to make the obvious joke or do i have to

 **Skull:** that ones too easy

 **Panther:** gee i wonder why there’s crackers in your suitcase akira!!!!

 **Joker:** Ann you know something.

 **Noir:** How can you tell she knows something?

 **Joker:** The punctuation. Any more than two ! or ? and you know she knows something.

 **Joker:** Ann. What happened.

 **Skull:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Joker:** Ryuji they were your crackers what the fuck did you do.

 **Skull:** yea…

 **Skull:** while u were in the bathroom we put crackers in ur suitcase

 **Joker:** Why?

 **Skull:** we thought u would find them

 **Joker:** I mean… I did but… only a few weeks later…

 **Joker:** Well those are some wasted crackers.

 **Oracle:** eat them

 **Joker:** No.

 **Oracle:** coward

 **Queen:** Ryuji how is your microwaved ravioli.

 **Skull:** tbh its kinda shit

 **Queen:** Then… why are you eating it?

 **Skull:** idk

 **Skull:** torture?

 **Oracle:** thats kinky?

 **Panther:** asdjkhsljfhklhfhjsa,fhdkjahf

 **Skull:** no?????

 **Joker:** Futaba you’re like 12

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Oracle:** im 15

 **Joker:** Anyone under the age of 16 is automatically considered 12

 **Noir:** I don’t think that’s how that works.

 **Joker:** No that’s how it works.

 **Joker:** Futaba? 12.

 **Joker:** That grade schooler kid I met at the arcade? 12.

 **Joker:** Morgana? 12.

 **Joker:** Anyone under 16 is 12, no exceptions.

 **Queen:** Akira…

 **Joker:** Nope this is not up for debate. You can’t change my mind.

 **Oracle:** (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

 **Joker:** Jesus christ delete that.

 **Panther:** i hate it.

 **Skull:** i just choked on my ravioli

 **Queen:** That face is very unsettling.

 **Noir:** Oh.

 **Oracle:** wait theres more :)

 **Queen:** Oh no..

 **Oracle:** ᕕ(⍤╭∩╮⍤)ᕗ

 **Joker:** What the fuck is that thing.

 **Noir:** Aw! It’s kind of cute~

 **Joker:** Are… are you serious…

 **Noir:** Yes! It’s adorable!

 **Joker:** ….

 **Oracle:** 【のωの】

 **Joker:** Please remove that from my eye sight.

 **Oracle:** no ☞⩾⏠⩽☞

 **Joker:** You are actually a fucking gremlin you know that right.

 **Oracle:** (｡◕‿◕｡)

* * *

 

_September 20th 2017_

_5:10 pm_

 

**Ravioli**

 

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed_ **_Fox’s_ ** _name to_ **_graphic design is my passion_ ** _~_

 **Noir:** Oh!

 **gdimp:** What.

 **Joker:** No.

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has demoted_ **_Oracle_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_graphic design is my passion’s_ ** _name to_ **_Fox_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** Bad.

 **Oracle:** ACK

 **Noir:** What happened?

 **Oracle:** AKIRA CAME DOWN STAIRS WITH A FUCKING SPRAY BOTTLE AND SPRAYED ME WITH IT

 **Joker:** I have to discipline the gremlin if I want her to behave properly

 **Oracle:** FUCK YOU IM NOT A CAT

 **Fox:** What just happened?

 **Joker:** Don’t worry babe the gremlin can’t hurt you now.

 **Fox:** The “gremlin” is half my size I think I can handle her.

 **Oracle:** UH EX FUCKING SCUSE ME

 **Oracle:** I CAN TAKE YOU OUT INARI

 **Fox:** Are you sure about that? Last I checked you act as a support role and I have a katana, as well as a supply of various knives.

 **Oracle:** say goodbye to your knees bitch

 **Oracle:** time to STEAL YOUR BONES

 **Fox:** How exactly do you intend to do that.

 **Oracle:** going to EAT THE KNEES

 **Fox:** That’s illegal.

 **Joker:** Is the legality really that concerns you?

 **Fox:** Cannibalism is illegal.

 **Joker:** We are actually wanted criminals why is that what gets your attention.

 **Fox:** They can’t arrest us if they can’t catch us.

 **Joker:** Fair.

 **Noir:** Actually cannibalism is not illegal in japan!

 **Joker:** wh…

 **Oracle:** cronch cronch bitch

 **Fox:** Excuse me?

 **Noir:** Cannibalism is not illegal, however apparently removing and eating the male genitalia is.

 **Fox:** I..

 **Joker:** That is… very specific.

 **Noir:** There was a case a while back in which a woman prepared a very expensive dinner using male genitalia.

 **Joker:** How do you know this?

 **Noir:** (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

 **Joker:** Okay… Thanks Haru. Guess Futaba can eat knees.

 **Oracle:** _steal the knee_

 **Fox:** Do not touch my knees.

 **Oracle:** right thats akiras job my bad

 **Fox:** Akira can’t touch my knees either.

 **Joker:** Can I eat your knees?

 **Fox:** No.

 **Joker:** It’s not illegal.

 **Fox:** Do not.

 **Joker:** Fine.

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed_ **_Joker’s_ ** _name to_ **_Vore_ ** _~_

 **Vore:** No.

 _~_ **_Vore_ ** _has demoted_ **_Oracle_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Vore_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_Joker_ ** _~_

 **Oracle:** FUCK HE DID IT AGAIN

 **Joker:** Bad.

 **Oracle:** GET RID OF THE SPRAY BOTTLE

 **Joker:** No.

 **Oracle:** new plans im going to eat akiras knees first

 **Joker:** Please don’t.

 **Oracle:** its not illegal >:3

 **Joker:** Nice to know you won’t get arrested for eating the knees of a criminal.

 **Oracle:** >:3

 **Panther:** [ disgust.gif ](https://i.gifer.com/THnK.gif)

**Oracle:** pffffffft

 **Noir:** Hello ann!

 **Panther:** hi haru

 **Panther:** what the hell is happening and why is this what i come back to

 **Oracle:** >:3

 **Panther:** nevermind

 **Fox:** It’s times like this when I question how I ended up here.

 **Joker:** You love us.

 **Fox:** Yes well… Unfortunately.

 **Joker:** <3

 **Panther:**!!!!!!

* * *

 

_September 20th 2017_

_5:13 pm_

 

**Ann Takamaki → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **AT:** soooo????

 **AK:** What?

 **AT:** you know what

 **AT:** _spill_

 **AK:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **AK:** I mean… we’re Something?

 **AK:** And I guess that means something??

 **AT:** what do you mean?

 **AK:** I mean.. We talked? And there’s something? But?

 **AK:** Don’t worry about it for now. We haven’t talked too much about..us. I guess.

 **AT:** okay

 **AT:** either way i’m happy for you guys!!

 **AK:** Thank you :)

* * *

 

_September 21st 2017_

_8:22 pm_

 

**Ravioli**

 

 **Skull:** i think i just realized something

 **Fox:** Congratulations.

 **Skull:** ok that was uncalled for

 **Fox:** Oh no.

 **Queen:** Someone’s extra caustic this evening…

 **Fox:** Tragic.

 **Skull:** actually this involves yusuke

 **Fox:** What?

 **Skull:** well kinda

 **Skull:** its bout goemon

 **Fox:** What about my persona?

 **Skull:** uhhh

 **Skull:** goemon has a giant ass vape

 **Fox:** It’s… a pipe.

 **Skull:** he has a giant ass vape and a neckbeard

 **Fox:** Well… you are right about the neckbeard. Not the most aesthetically pleasing choice but I suppose I can’t deny my inner self.

 **Queen:** You aren’t planning on growing a neckbeard are you?

 **Fox:** No. Neckbeards are awful. I would never.

 **Queen:** Oh thank God.

 **Skull:** goemons hair is slicked back like an asshole

 **Fox:** Where are you going with this?

 **Skull:** i dont mean to alarm u but

 **Skull:** i think ur inner self is a fuckboy

 **Queen:** _Oh._

 **Fox:** Excuse me?

 **Skull:** yea

 **Skull:** ur inner self is the definition of a fuckboy yusuke

 **Skull:** vape, neckbeard, pompador

 **Skull:** hes a fuckboy

 **Fox:** I don’t think that was the intent..

 **Skull:** that may not have been the intent but damn dude ur persona is a fuckboy

 **Fox:** I have nothing to say to this.

 **Skull:** wait yusuke

 **Skull:** are…

 **Fox:** You’re going to ask something weird aren’t you.

 **Skull:** are u..

 **Fox:** Stop.

 **Skull:** are u a fuckboy

 **Fox:** No.

 **Queen:** Yusuke doesn’t seem like that type.

 **Skull:** i mean,,ur right but

 **Skull:** none of us have seen him at school

 **Fox:** Your point?

 **Skull:** we dont kno wat goes on at kosei

 **Fox:** What are you trying to imply and why.

 **Skull:** idk dude u told us about one of ur classmates,,the one at the church

 **Fox:** Hifumi Togo?

 **Skull:** yea her

 **Skull:** wats ur relationship w her?

 **Fox:** She sits in the desk next to mine?

 **Fox:** Our “relationship” revolves around sighs and exchanged annoyed looks because the rest of our classmates are stuck up rich kids who have zero regard for anyone that won’t increase their social status?

 **Queen:** Oh.. Well then.

 **Skull:**...holy shit

 **Skull:** damn dude tell me how you really feel

 **Fox:** Need I remind you that Kosei is a very expensive, high class school, and I am here on a scholarship? The vast majority of my classmates and I don’t exactly work well together.

 **Joker:** Did I pick the wrong time to open the chat?

 **Fox:** No, your fine.

 **Joker:** Tell Hifumi I said hi?

 **Fox:** I’ll tell her tomorrow.

 **Joker:** Thanks

 **Skull:** point still stands

 **Skull:** goemon is a fuckboy

 **Queen:** Ryuji...

 **Joker:** What? Why is Goemon a fuckboy?

 **Skull:** read up

 **Joker:** Okay.

 **Joker:** Pffft now that you mention it

 **Joker:** Goemon really does look like a fuckboy.

 **Joker:** Yusuke your inner self is a fuckboy.

 **Fox:** No comment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize for how absolutely cursed this chapter is. I didn't think it could get any more cursed but..it did. Maybe that's why you shouldn't do the majority of your writing while drunk tired.  
> Haru is finally here. Sorry this chapter didn't focus too much around her. I do have some plans for her later on, but as for right now this is all I got. She'll get more focus later I promise.  
> As for the Hifumi thing, I personally headcanon that Yusuke and Hifumi kind of,,stick together at school. They aren't close, but they're both equally frustrated with Kosei and both have titles that annoy them ("Madarame's Pupil," "The Shogi Venus") so I decided to incorporate that.  
> That's it for now. Enjoy this.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818


	30. this is gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panther: i mean yeah but leather is super uncomfortable against skin how is yusuke doing that  
> Fox: Aesthetic.  
> Joker: Naturally.

_September 22nd 2017_

_9:13 pm_

 

**Ravioli**

 

 **Skull:** do u guys remember those dumb versions of our names

 **Panther:** you mean ryobi socialmotorboat?

 **Skull:** yes that

 **Panther:** wait ryuji

 **Skull:** u mean ryobi?

 **Panther:** ryobi, my bad.

 **Joker:** Do you two just love putting me through hell?

 **Skull:** yep

 **Panther:** yeah

 **Joker:** God dammit.

 **Panther:** we haven’t done that since makoto joined the team

 **Panther:** sorry i mean since *mascara nimrod joined the team

 **Queen:** Mascara Nimrod?

 **Panther:** yes. that’s your name now.

 **Queen:** That’s not my name..

 **Panther:** well that sucks

 **Skull:** wait ur right

 **Skull:** 2 more have joined the team since then skfqdjhkjqf

 **Skull:** futaba and haru need new names

 **Joker:** Please let this joke die.

 **Panther:** no

 **Skull:** never

 **Panther:** futaba sakura? you mean fruity squirrel right?

 **Skull:** lksfljklsafjkw perfect

 **Skull:** @oracle ur new name is fruity squirrel

 **Oracle:** lit who are the rest of you

 **Joker:** No.

 **Joker:** Also don’t ever use the term “lit” again. Not in this Gay Server.

 **Oracle:** lit

 **Queen:** Apparently I am Mascara Nimrod?

 **Oracle:** hmm fitting

 **Panther:** ann takamaki? you mean ant tamagotchi

 **Oracle:** i love it

 **Skull:** ryobi socialmotorboat

 **Oracle:** suiting

 **Panther:** joker is africa kangaroo

 **Joker:** Suddenly I can’t read.

 **Oracle:** whats inari?

 **Skull:** yugio kitwater

 **Oracle:** its perfect

 **Panther:** we still need a name for haru

 **Skull:** hair ostrich

 **Oracle:** a+

 **Panther:** @noir we have deemed you hair ostrich

 **Noir:** Oh?

 **Skull:** scroll up

 **Noir:** Oh that makes more sense.

 **Noir:** Hair ostrich. I like it!

 **Skull:** aldhaksdlshdfkhj

 **Panther:** how are you always so positive??

 **Noir:** What do you mean?

 **Panther:** you were thrown into this group like 3 days ago in the middle of a conversation about microwaving ravioli and have just..accepted the chaos like it’s completely normal.

 **Noir:** Everyone else seems to be having a good time so i see no reason to stop it! Besides, as long as everyone else is happy then i have no problems!

 **Panther:** holy shit you ray of sunshine

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed_ **_Noir’s_ ** _name to_ **_Sunshine_ ** _~_

 **Sunshine:** Oh! Thank you!

 **Joker:** As fitting of a name as that is…

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has demoted_ **_Oracle_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Sunshine’s_ ** _name to_ **_Noir_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** Futaba are you in Leblanc right now?

 **Oracle:** yea

 **Joker:** Perfect.

 **Oracle:** why?

 **Oracle:** WAIT FUCK

 **Noir:** Did akira-kun spray you with water again?

 **Oracle:** YEAH HE SPRAYED ME WITH WATER LIKE A FUCKING ASSHOLE

 **Joker:** Stop making yourself a mod.

 **Oracle:** no fuck you

 **Queen:** Futaba, you are playing with fire right now…

 **Oracle:** please ive been in situations more dangerous then this

 **Oracle:** playing with fire didnt stop me from hacking into the security cameras at kosei did it

 **Fox:** You did what?

 **Panther:** it’s like you summoned him..

 **Oracle:** you heard me inari

 **Fox:** Technically I didn’t hear you as this is a text conversation.

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Oracle:** fine you _read_ me is that better you furry

 **Fox:** Why would you hack into the Kosei security footage.

 **Oracle:** why not

 **Fox:** I…

 **Fox:** Okay.

 **Oracle:** for a high class school theres a lot of kids vaping in the bathrooms :\

 **Fox:** Yes, well… The school is made up of spoiled rich kids. What did you expect.

 **Oracle:** makes sense i guess

 **Fox:** Do you receive live footage?

 **Oracle:** ya

 **Oracle:** i can see everything

 **Queen:** That’s… rather unsettling, actually.

 **Fox:** Tell me about it.

 **Fox:** Futaba what do you plan on doing with that?

 **Oracle:** >:3

 **Noir:** That takes a lot of skill to accomplish, futaba-chan. How did you do that?

 **Oracle:** practice

 **Noir:** I see. That’s amazing! <3

 **Oracle:** thank you haru :3

* * *

**  
**

_September 24th 2017_

_11:09 pm_

 

**Ravioli**

 

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed_ **_Joker’s_ ** _name to_ **_Africa Kangaroo_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed_ **_Skull’s_ ** _name to_ **_Ryobi Socialmotorboat_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed_ **_Panther’s_ ** _name to_ **_Ant Tamagotchi_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed_ **_Fox’s_ ** _name to_ **_Yugio Kitwater_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed_ **_Queen’s_ ** _name to_ **_Mascara Nimrod_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed_ **_Noir’s_ ** _name to_ **_Hair Ostrich_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_Fruity Squirrel_ ** _~_

 **AK:** God dammit Futaba stop doing that.

 **FS:** nah

 **AT:** africa is just salty because he fucked up yusuke’s name and we won’t let him live it down

 **FS:** OwO?

 **AK:** Delete this.

 **FS:** no

 **AT:** i have receipts.

 **AK:** Haha no you don’t.

 **AT:** africa-is-a-hypocrite.img 

**FS:** thank you ann

 **AK:** Ann you’re dead to me.

 **FS:** im keeping that

 **AK:** No you’re not.

 **FS:** you cant stop me africa

 **AK:** I can try.

 **FS:** wait ann when did that happen i cant find it in the group archives

 **AT:** i’m sorry who?

 **FS:** sorry *ant

 **AT:** that was back in june, just before makoto joined us.

 **FS:** whomst

 **AT:** sorry *mascara

 **FS:** oh wait i found it

 **AK:** Hey Futaba?

 **FS:** whomstve

 **AT:** her name is fruity squirrel please show a little respect

 **AK:** Does that mean Futaba is the furry?

 **AT:** SJADhKLAJKLF

 **FS:** …

 **FS:** you know what yes i am a furry

 **FS:** @yugio kitwater can you draw my fursona

 **AK:** That’s great and everything but

 _~_ **_Africa Kangaroo_ ** _has demoted_ **_Fruity Squirrel_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Africa Kangaroo_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_Joker_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Ryobi Socialmotorboat’s_ ** _name to_ **_Skull_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Ant Tamagotchi’s_ ** _name to_ **_Panther_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Yugio Kitwater’s_ ** _name to_ **_Fox_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Mascara Nimrod’s_ ** _name to_ **_Queen_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Fruity Squirrel’s_ ** _name to_ **_Oracle_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Hair Ostrich’s_ ** _name to_ **_Noir_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** That’s better.

 **Oracle:** >:(

* * *

 

_September 25th 2017_

_4:02 am_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **FS:** inari

 **FS:** inari

 **FS:** draw my fursona

 **FS:** please draw my fursona

 **FS:** inari

 **FS:** inARI

 **FS:** yusuke fucking kitagawa dont ignore me i can see youre online

 **YK:** Sorry I took a depression nap. What do you need?

 **FS:** i

 **FS:** ok mood but

 **FS:** you good binch?

 **YK:** Sure. What are you asking me to draw?

 **FS:** DONT DODGE THE QUESTION

 **FS:** seriously tho are you ok :\

 **YK:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **FS:** :|

 **FS:** god dammit

 **YK:** Hold on. Did you really refer to me by my full name?

 **FS:** incorrect i said yusuke fucking kitagawa

 **FS:** unless your middle name is fucking

 **FS:** is it?

 **YK:** No?

 **FS:** guess your middle name is temporarily fucking then

 **YK:** I would rather it not be but if you insist.

 **FS:** will you draw my fursona

 **YK:** I don’t know what that is.

 **FS:** [ https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Fursona ](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Fursona)

**FS:** [ inari.png ](https://pre00.deviantart.net/d725/th/pre/i/2016/130/7/9/aiden___jack__fursona__ref_by_forestfright-da228cn.png)

**FS:** those things

 **YK:** You… you want me to draw one of those for you.

 **FS:** yeee

 **YK:** Why.

 **FS:** i made a joke about it in the group earlier and now i have to Commit

 **YK:** So you want me to draw a humanized fox for you?

 **FS:** squirrel actually but yea

 **YK:** We’ll see.

 **FS:** :T

 **FS:** come on pls

 **FS:** inari

 **YK:** Maybe.

 **FS:** wait hold on

 **FS:** you said you took a depression nap

 **YK:** And?

 **FS:** it is 4 in the morning wtf

 **FS:** how long was that depression nap

 **YK:** I have… no idea.

 **YK:** When did we get back from the palace?

 **FS:** jesus christ

 **FS:** that is one long depression nap

 **FS:** when we got out of the palace it was like 9pm

 **YK:** Your point?

 **FS:**...touche

 **FS:** why depression nap?

 **YK:** Okumura’s palace gives me clinical depression.

 **FS:** ok you right

 **YK:** The bullshit with the timer is just infuriating.

 **FS:** INARI THAT IS A NAUGHTY FUCKING WORD

 **FS:** but you right

 **FS:** his palace is kinda cool but like

 **FS:** all the puzzles and shit are not worth it

 **YK:** Why are you complaining? You just stay inside Necronomicon the majority of the time and laugh at us.

 **YK:** Also you have said far worse words I think I can say “bullshit.”

 **FS:** i dont laugh at you

 **YK:** Don’t you?

 **FS:** …

 **FS:** dont out me like this

 **YK:** No.

 **FS:** :\

 **FS:** wow ok

 **FS:** i see how it is

 **FS:** bitch i can hack your phone camera

 **YK:** Haven’t you already done that?

 **FS:** maybe ;3

 **YK:** You’re not going to see anything of interest.

 **FS:** ;3

 **YK:** Unless you intend on watching me paint for nine hours straight and then cry myself to sleep, there’s not much to witness.

 **FS:** :\

 **FS:** you ok?

 **YK:** No.

 **FS:** mood

* * *

 

_September 24th 2017_

_1:03 pm_

 

**Ravioli**

 

 **Joker:** Can someone tell Morgana to stop shit talking people while I am having a conversation with someone?

 **Fox:** What?

 **Joker:** I was talking to Mishima and Morgana was making obnoxious side comments from in my desk. Morgana just because he can’t understand you doesn’t mean you should shit talk them.

 **Fox:** No let Morgana keep doing what he’s doing. Mishima can’t understand.

 **Joker:** You just say that because you don’t like Mishima.

 **Fox:** Your point?

 **Joker:** You have literally only talked to Mishima on two separate occasions for a total of five minutes.

 **Fox:** Your point?

 **Skull:** wat do u got against mishima?

 **Fox:** Everything.

 **Joker:** Yusuke you hardly know him.

 **Fox:** I intend on keeping it that way.

 **Oracle:** for once i agree with inari oof

 **Joker:** Futaba you talked to him once :\

 **Oracle:** he was boring

 **Oracle:** fucking npc

 **Skull:** mishima aint that bad

 **Skull:** u kno he runs the phan site right?

 **Fox:** As long as all his work is behind a screen, so that I do not ever have to acknowledge him, then I have no problems.

 **Skull:** wait i think i kno wats goin on here

 **Skull:** yusuke r u jealous

 **Fox:** Jealous?

 **Fox:** Of Mishima?

 **Fox:** Please. There’s nothing to be jealous of. He’d hardly know aesthetics if it hit him in the face.

 **Joker:** Why would Yusuke be jealous?

 **Oracle:** _oh_

 **Joker:** Are you jealous?

 **Fox:** Why on earth would I have any reason to be jealous of him. Of all people, why him?

 **Oracle:** _OwO_

 **Skull:** i dont buy it but watever u say man

 **Joker:** Yusuke doesn’t seem much like the jealous type.

 **Joker:** Are you, Yusuke?

 **Fox:** What reason would I have to be jealous?

 **Joker:** Hmm :\

 **Oracle:** why are you avoiding the question inari

 **Fox:** I’m not?

 **Oracle:** thats bs but ok

 **Skull:** :\

 **Joker:** :\

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Skull:** ok but wat was morgana saying about mishima

 **Joker:** Mishima approached me after class asking me about a Mementos request and Morgana was just chilling in my bag making obnoxious commentary.

 **Joker:** It took every ounce of willpower to keep a straight face during that entire conversation I swear.

 **Joker:** Morgana can be such an asshole when he wants to be.

 **Skull:** morgana is always an asshole wats ur point

 **Joker:** That’s true..

 **Oracle:** what did mona say

 **Joker:** He just commented on how some of these requests were pointless and Mishima needed to chill.

 **Skull:** sounds like mona

 **Joker:** Yep.

* * *

 

_September 24th 2017_

_9:12 pm_

 

**Makoto Niijima → Haru Okumura**

 

 **MN:** Hi Haru! I just wanted to quickly message you and give you an official welcome to the team. You joined us at a very interesting time and none of us have properly welcomed you yet. I don’t want you to feel excluded in the slightest.

 **HO:** Thank you! I haven’t been feeling excluded at all, but i appreciate you messaging me like this. I understand that things are crazy right now, and i apologize for causing everything to become as hectic as it currently is.

 **MN:** Don’t worry about that. We want to help you, as well as help your father. We’ve been in more hectic situations. This is nothing that we can’t handle. I promise you, we will change your father’s heart and do what we can to help you.

 **HO:** Thank you, mako-chan. I will do what i can to help!

 **MN:** You’ve been a great asset to the team thus far. I think I speak for everyone when I say we’re glad to have you as one of us. If you have any questions you can ask Akira or myself.

 **HO:** I’ll do my best! Thank you!

* * *

 

_September 24th 2017_

_9:14 pm_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AK:** Hey so I just wanted to double check but you’re not really jealous are you?

 **AK:** You know I only have eyes for you, right?

 **YK:** I’m aware. No, I’m not jealous. Why would I have anything to be jealous of?

 **AK:** I don’t know. You were dodging the question earlier.

 **AK:** You sure you’re not jealous?

 **YK:** I’m not sure I even know what jealousy looks like.

 **AK:** It’s.. gross. Almost invasive, you know?

 **AK:** Remember when you said that girl gave you her phone number?

 **YK:** Yes, I remember. I’ve actually seen her a few times around school since then, and she has been rather bitter towards me, not that her opinion matters to me. Why do you bring that up?

 **AK:** When you said that, I just remember this..anger, almost. I didn’t like knowing someone else had noticed how gorgeous you are, and trust me you are fucking gorgeous.

 **YK:** There’s more to me than my looks.

 **AK:** Exactly. I think that’s what pissed me off most about it. She didn’t even know you, yet here’s this girl giving out her phone number just because she thinks you’re attractive. All she knew came from the dumb Madarame rumors.

 **AK:** While that was happening, here’s me who’s been pining for longer then I know, probably.

 **AK:** I don’t even know how to describe it. Kind of like she was threatening me, you know?

 **YK:** I understand.

 **AK:** You’re the only one I have feelings for. I promise. No one is going to change that.

 **YK:** Thank you.

 **AK:** What for? I’m just telling you how I feel.

 **YK:** Nevermind what for.

 **YK:** You mean a lot to me. I don’t entirely understand it, but… You mean more to me than anyone else ever has.

 **AK:** I’m glad.

 **AK:** <3

* * *

**  
**

_September 26th 2017_

_11:32 am_

 

**Ravioli**

 

 **Panther:** are we still playing dress up before going into the palace today?

 **Joker:** I guess so.

 **Noir:** What?

 **Joker:** Oh right, Haru you weren’t here for that.

 **Joker:** Long story short, Ryuji lost a bet and now Ann, Makoto and Futaba get to play dress up with Ryuji, Yusuke and myself as the models.

 **Queen:** Haru, you can help me on Akira’s design. I have the clothes picked out, however I am not the most experienced with make-up.

 **Noir:** That sounds fun, i would love to help!   
**Skull:** dammit i had hoped u forgot

 **Panther:** please. i’ve been counting down the days.

 **Panther:** ryuji i think you’re the only one against it

 **Skull:** we dont kno that yet uhhh

 **Joker:** I expect to look beautiful.

 **Fox:** You’re already beautiful, though.

 **Joker:** qiwyadsdfkhlalhf

 **Panther:** i think akira short circuited

 **Skull:** where did u even come from dude

 **Fox:** I don’t understand the question.

 **Skull:** nvm

 **Skull:** we havent gotten yusukes input on this tho

 **Panther:** yusuke how do you feel about wearing drag

 **Fox:** I literally could not care less.

 **Panther:** yep ryuji you’re the only one against it

 **Skull:** dammit…

 **Panther:** we can meet at my house if you guys want.

 **Joker:** Sure thing.

 **Queen:** Of course.

 **Noir:** Okay.

 **Skull:** i guess

 **Fox:** Understood.

 **Joker:** I told Futaba. She said okay.

 **Joker:** Also she’s mad that I sprayed her with the spray bottle.

 **Skull:** y??

 **Joker:** She changed was fucking with the group names a couple days ago and I forgot about it until now.

 **Skull:** fair

* * *

 

_September 26th 2017_

_10:12 pm_

 

**Ravioli**

 

 **Panther:** yusuke.img 

**Panther:** yh.img 

**Panther:** more proof that yusuke is actually the most attractive pt, regardless of gender

 **Panther:** male? female? yep.

 **Fox:** Thanks.

 **Skull:** i am,,confused

 **Joker:** I’m not.

 **Oracle:** tfw inari is so pretty he makes a straight guy question his sexuality

 **Joker:** Is your boner confused?

 **Skull:** dont phrase it like that

 **Joker:** Answer the question, Sakamoto.

 **Panther:** i think everyone is confused

 **Noir:** Yusuke makes a very pretty girl.

 **Oracle:** is inari a trap

 **Fox:** How about we don’t ask that.

 **Oracle:** _answer the question kitagawa_

 **Fox:** No.

 **Fox:** Why is makeup so difficult to wash off.

 **Panther:** they make products to wash it off

 **Fox:** Ann need I remind you that I am broke.

 **Fox:** Currently I have 100 yen, a bent paper clip and half a paint brush.

 **Skull:** wat happened to the paint brush

 **Fox:** Don’t worry about it.

 **Skull:** yusuke wat did u do

 **Fox:** It was accidentally snapped in half.

 **Skull:** why

 **Fox:** I may have been gripping it harder than intended.

 **Skull:** _why_

 **Fox:** Listen I don’t know how to properly deal with my emotions.

 **Skull:** jesus christ remind me to never piss u off

 **Fox:** It was unintentional.

 **Skull:** even worse

 **Joker:** I mean… I would chastise you, but I do the same.

 **Joker:** Repress and ignore and snap all your pencils in half :^)

 **Skull:** i dont think thats good for u dude

 **Fox:** What are you talking about it works every time.

 **Skull:** it works until u snap ur paintbrush in half

 **Joker:** Nah it’s fine you can channel that shit into shadow hunting.

 **Fox:** Exactly.

 **Skull:** are u guys ok?

 **Joker:** Absolutely not.

* * *

 

_September 27th 2017_

_10:23 pm_

 

**Ravioli**

 

 **Joker:** ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

 **Joker:** THIS AIRLOCK MAZE BULLSHIT IS SO FUCKING DUMB WHAT THE HELL

 **Noir:** My apologies. I didn’t realize going through my father’s palace would be as frustrating as it is.

 **Joker:** It’s not your fault, Haru.

 **Joker:** No offense when I say this but your dad needs to fucking stop. Jesus christ how paranoid can one man get.

 **Noir:** None taken. It is rather… obscene.

 **Joker:** No kidding. Between the robots and the timers and now the _fucking airlock maze of bullshit,_ he really does not want his treasure to be discovered.

 **Noir:** I’m really sorry about this.

 **Joker:** Don’t apologize. Okumura needs to have his heart changed, and this is just what we have to do.

 **Noir:** I never thought my father’s cognition would be..well..

 **Joker:** This fucked up?

 **Noir:** Yes. That.

 **Queen:** Okumura’s desires are distorted, to a point in which something must be done. I promise you, Haru, we are going to change your father’s heart. You don’t deserve the treatment he and your fiance have been giving you, nor do the employees of Okumura Foods deserve this sort of treatment.

 **Joker:** Jesus christ Makoto when did you show up.

 **Queen:** Just now. I just got home and had a chance to check the group.

 **Noir:** My father is a good man, it’s just..

 **Noir:** I do not know what caused his desires to become as distorted as they are, but deep down i know he is a good person. He lost sight of his true intentions and what okumura foods used to be like. I want to help set him back on track and help him to become the man i once knew.

 **Queen:** We are going to do everything in our power to help you, and help him.

 **Joker:** You will get to see that man again, Haru. I promise.

 **Noir:** Thank you.

 **Noir:** I appreciate all that you have done for me. I couldn’t have made it this far without any of you.

 **Joker:** It’s just what we do.

 **Queen:** We just want to make sure you’re safe.

 **Noir:** Thank you mako-chan.

 **Joker:** Mako-chan?

 **Noir:** Oh i’m sorry! I just thought it was cute. I won’t call you mako-chan if you don’t like it, makoto.

 **Queen:** Oh it’s fine. I like that nickname. Thank you, Haru.

 **Noir:** Mako-chan it is ^^

 **Joker:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25QyCxVkXwQ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25QyCxVkXwQ)

**Queen:** Hey Joker?

 **Joker:** Yeah?

 **Queen:** With all due respect, please shut up.

 **Joker:** Sure thing Makoto ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Noir:** Hmm?

 **Queen:** Akira you are in no position to be making these comments.

 **Joker:** At least I can admit that I am Very Gay for a certain artist.

 **Noir:** You two look so cute together akira!

 **Joker:** Thanks but we’re not together.

 **Noir:** You’re not?

 **Joker:** It’s complicated.

 **Queen:** Akira please check your dms.

* * *

 

_September 27th 2017_

_10:31 pm_

 

**Makoto Niijima → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **MN:** Okay Akira what exactly are you getting at.

 **AK:** What do you mean Makoto ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **MN:** First, you have been spending way too much time around Futaba.

 **AK:** Yeah..you’re right. She spends a lot of time in Leblanc.

 **MN:** Secondly I think you know what I’m talking about.

 **AK:** Wait are you mad at me?

 **MN:** Mad? No. Why would I be mad?

 **AK:** You sound kind of pissed. Did I go too far? I was just messing with you, sorry about that.

 **MN:** I’m not mad, I promise. Just a little flustered, I suppose.

 **AK:** Okay that’s fair. What’s up, though?

 **MN:** I just want to clarify a few things with you.

 **AK:** Sure. What “things” did you have in mind?

 **MN:** Firstly about Haru..

 **AK:** I’m listening.

 **MN:** She’s sweet and I very much enjoy her company, however there is nothing going on between the two of us.

 **AK:** Uh huh.

 **MN:** We have only known her for a very short amount of time. I enjoy her company and we get along well, not to mention it’s nice being able to stop by her classroom during lunch and say hello, or have a simple conversation, but really there is nothing going on.

 **AK:** Why do you sound so defensive about this?

 **MN:** Im not getting defensive?

 **AK:** You really are. I won’t push the issue or anything, but whatever you’re feeling is totally okay.

 **AK:** I’ve noticed you and Haru getting pretty close in the safe rooms.

 **MN:** We’re just consulting. She’s still new to this and I want to make sure she’s okay and that she understands what’s going on.

 **AK:** Sure, Makoto. Whatever you say.

 **MN:** On the topic of romance, care to explain what’s going on between you and Yusuke?

 **AK:** It’s complicated.

 **MN:** How is it complicated?

 **AK:** It just is. I don’t know how to explain it.

 **MN:** So there is something going on, correct?

 **AK:** I guess so. Why? Did Ann tell you about it?

 **MN:** She didn’t have to.

 **AK:** Huh.

 **MN:** The two of you are not subtle in the slightest.

 **AK:** That’s...fair.

 **MN:** Are you finally done pining after the pretty art boy?

 **AK:** Below the belt, Makoto. Below the belt.

 **MN:** :)

 **AK:** Can’t believe you just used a smiley I am vaguely threatened right now.

 **MN:** :)

* * *

 

_September 28th 2017_

_4:20 pm_

 

**Ravioli**

 

 **Joker:** yusuke.img 

**Joker:** In case anyone was wondering, here is proof that Yusuke is the Ultimate Gay™

 **Oracle:** he just has his leg on the chair why is he the ultimate gay

 **Joker:** Silly Futaba. Gays don’t know how to sit properly.

 **Panther:** is he wearing leather pants?

 **Joker:** Yes.

 **Panther:** how is he doing that in leather? my metaverse costume is all leather and i can hardly do anything.

 **Joker:** Your metaverse costume does not stop you from kicking ass though. I’ve seen you do some unbelievable shit in that.

 **Panther:** i mean yeah but leather is super uncomfortable against skin how is yusuke doing that

 **Fox:** Aesthetic.

 **Joker:** Naturally.

 **Oracle:** how did you get your leg so high in leather :\

 **Fox:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Oracle:** :\

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Ultimate Gay Squad_ ** _~_

 **Oracle:** accurate

 **Joker:** Anyways uh yeah this confirms that Yusuke is the Ultimate Gay™ sorry I don’t make the rules.

 **Panther:** what an achievement

 **Oracle:** how do you feel about this

 **Fox:** This is fine.

 **Joker:** Anyways uh @everyone get your asses over to Leblanc we’re going to infiltrate the dumb fucking space station. We’re close to the treasure so let’s try to finish securing out route today and send the calling card tomorrow.

 **Panther:** got it

 **Oracle:** im on my way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey take an early chapter. My schedule is booked for the rest of the week so it was either update now or sunday, and I think you guys would prefer earlier.  
> A few notes about this chapter. I don't get why people make out Yusuke and Mishima to be super friendly with each other. In Mishima's social link you can go to the planetarium with him, and he and Yusuke interact, and Yusuke is just such an asshole towards Mishima? He clearly does not like Mishima so yeah there's that. Unfortunately I can't find any screenshots of their very limited interactions but if I find some I'll leave them here.  
> Second the sitting thing, there's a picture somewhere of Yusuke sitting in a chair in leblanc with his leg on the seat and he is wearing leather pants uh?? How are you doing that?? Honey??  
> Yeet so this chapter is extra long enjoy this long ass shitpost. I don't know what to do in this in-between period so hey here's shitposts and gay shit. That's what half of you are here for anyway so here you go.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818  
> yusuke sitting weirdly and i love him for it: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357689731938516993/468306158990524416/tumblr_ot3wgfcooe1woat5mo1_1280.jpg


	31. ryuji sucks at overwatch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fox: Where would you even get that much acid?  
> Oracle: your local drug dealer  
> Fox: Not that kind of acid.

_September 30th 2017_

_8:10 pm_

 

**Ultimate Gay Squad™**

 

 **Joker:** Well that sure was...something.

 **Noir:** Yes.

 **Queen:** How are you doing, Haru?

 **Noir:** I’m a bit conflicted but i think i’ll be okay. Thank you for checking up on me.

 **Joker:** Conflicted?

 **Noir:** Yes. It’s still strange to think that that is what my father truly believes and how he really views his employees.

 **Noir:** He made all his employees, or robots in this case, defend him yet when it came down to it he was weak. All it took was one hit to take him down.

 **Joker:** Yeah. Honestly, it was kind of pathetic.

 **Noir:** It was pathetic, but i can’t help but wonder if that also properly reflects my father. Does he really have all his employees defend him from controversy? Would it really only take one bad rumor getting to him to take down all of okumura foods?

 **Queen:** We cannot be too sure on that one. Okumura foods has been known to have shady rumors surrounding it and the treatment of the employees working there. You may be right, and perhaps it would only take his acknowledgment to bring down the entire company.

 **Joker:** I asked Morgana about it.

 **Queen:** And?

 **Joker:** He said palaces, and everything within them, are always based on cognition. I’m assuming they turn into what they do when their treasure is at risk because that’s how they view themselves, and their defense system.

 **Joker:** Madarame was that painting picasso bullshit because he viewed himself as a work of art. Kaneshiro was a fly because, in Makoto’s words, he’s “a fly on dirty money.”

 **Joker:** I think, by that logic, Okumura was so weak and had no defense for himself because he thought his robots would always protect him, otherwise they would get fired. Everyone else had some line of defense in case anyone ever tried to steal their treasure. Okumura just had robots. Really says something about him, huh?

 **Noir:** I see…

 **Queen:** Don’t worry about it anymore, okay? We stole his treasure and the change of heart should take place soon.

 **Noir:** Okay. Thank you for everything.

 **Joker:** In other news, the evil space station has been defeated and we don’t have to endure that bullshit again.

 **Queen:** Akira is now really the time?

 **Noir:** No he’s right. That was really annoying, and i can only hope the payoff is worth it.

 **Joker:** It is. It’s always worth it.

 **Joker:** But Jesus Christ I didn’t think we would find a palace worse than Kaneshiro. I was very wrong, and almost miss Kaneshiro’s palace.

 **Queen:** Akira you yelled about the vault for days after that palace. Are you sure you miss it?

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Actually you know what no I don’t miss it and the vault can suck my ass.

 **Noir:** What happened with the vault?

 **Queen:** Okay, so you weren’t there for this. Kaneshiro’s palace was a bank, and we needed to get downstairs to what was called the Vault. Essentially it was this giant bank vault full of mini vaults.

 **Queen:** Akira could not figure out how to get downstairs for the life of him.

 **Queen:** About two days of wandering around aimlessly later, Ann pointed out that if we jumped off the pipes we could get downstairs.

 **Noir:** Oh no! That sounds awful.

 **Queen:** It was very awful. I don’t think I have ever heard Akira scream so loud in his life.

 **Joker:** THAT WAS COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT THOUGH

 **Joker:** IT WAS SO FUCKING SIMPLE JUST GET ON THE PIPES, TURN AROUND, AND THERE SHE FUCKING IS. JUMP DOWN.

 **Joker:** BUT NO THAT WAS TOO DIFFICULT FOR US

 **Joker:** WE SPENT TWO DAYS RUNNING AROUND TRYING SO HARD TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT WHEN THE ANSWER WAS SO SIMPLE

 **Joker:** I am… still very angry about this.

 **Queen:** Akira was in a very sour mood for the rest of the palace.

 **Queen:** During the fight with Kaneshiro, when Kaneshiro turned into a fly, Akira just straight up pulled out his gun while Kaneshiro was still talking, and kept repeating the word “no” while shooting Kaneshiro.

 **Joker:** I didn’t want to deal with that.

 **Joker:** No, Kaneshiro, stop that. Just give us the fucking treasure you fiend. We don’t have time for this after all the BULLSHIT we were put through.

 **Noir:** I’m sorry you had to go through that.

 **Joker:** It’s over now I guess.

 **Queen:** Looking back on it, it’s kind of funny.

 **Joker:** For Phantom Thieves we’re kinda dumb.

 **Queen:** Well… I guess you’re right. I’m sure Futaba can help us with that type of thing now.

 **Joker:** @Oracle god dammit gremlin where were you when we needed you.

 **Oracle:** dead why you ask

 **Joker:** Fair.

 **Joker:** We could have used you during that Kaneshiro bullshit smh.

 **Oracle:** sorry i was dying

* * *

 

_October 1st 2017_

_12:00 am_

 

**Ultimate Gay Squad™**

 

 **Oracle:** happy fucking halloween assholes

 **Skull:** it is 12 am and barely even october 1st chill gremlin

 **Oracle:** ryuji all of october is halloween smh what are they teaching you in school

 **Skull:** its literly 12:01 am calm down

 **Oracle:** i am going to shove a jack o lantern up my ass

 **Skull:** dont

 **Oracle:** im going to sacrifice a grade schooler to satan

 **Skull:** do not

 **Oracle:** time to change my ringtone to bass boosted spooky scary skeletons

 **Skull:** bad

 **Oracle:** i need to gather as many skeletons and fight in the great skeleton war

 **Skull:** jesus christ dude

 **Oracle:** i need

 **Oracle:** to play overwatch ryuji 1v1 me in overwatch

 **Skull:** sure

* * *

 

_October 1st 2017_

_3:22 am_

 

**Ultimate Gay Squad™**

 

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_ryuji sucks at overwatch :)_ ** _~_

 **Skull:** HEY NO I DONT

 **Oracle:** in the five different rounds we played i beat you in all five

 **Skull:** so? i still killed you a few times

 **Oracle:** you suck at overwatch

 **Skull:** shut up

 **Oracle:** also i take back everything i said about maining a character the hamster is my new main

 **Skull:** dude r u serious i hate that thing

 **Oracle:** he is adorable look at him

 **Oracle:** look as his little baby hamster hands

 **Skull:** why the hell is there a goddamn hamster in overwatch

 **Oracle:** why the hell did they allow a giant monkey

 **Oracle:** dont question the developers

 **Oracle:** the hamster is the best thing they have ever added and you know it

 **Skull:** no the hamster is effin dumb and ur dumb for playing it

 **Oracle:** you just dont like that i kept pushing you in the hole with the hamster ball

 **Skull:** no i dont like the hamster cuz its dumb

 **Oracle:** im sorry what? i cant hear you over me winning every 1v1

 **Skull:** shut

* * *

 

_October 1st 2017_

_6:04 am_

 

**ryuji sucks at overwatch**

 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has demoted_ **_Oracle_ ** _~_

 **Oracle:** fuck

 **Joker:** Hey stop by Leblanc after school I got something for you.

 **Oracle:** no youre just going to spray me with the fucking spray bottle

 **Joker:** Maybe I wouldn’t if you would stop _making yourself mod_

 **Oracle:** no you wont make me mod

 **Joker:** Gee wonder why I won’t make you mod.

 **Oracle:** ಠ_ಠ

 **Oracle:** stop being a smatass

 **Joker:** Nah.

 **Queen:** Sorry to interrupt, but I would like to remind you all that exams are taking place towards the end of this month. Get as much study time in as possible.

 **Joker:** Shh

 **Queen:** Akira.

 **Joker:** Shhhhhh

 **Queen:** Akira we have exams.

 **Joker:** Shhhhhhhhh.

 **Joker:** Let me live, Makoto.

 **Queen:** Akira…

 **Joker:** Shhhhhhhhhhhh.

 **Oracle:** leader of the pts everyone

 **Oracle:** badass who does flips and shit

 **Oracle:** kinda scary and has way too much fun killing shadows

 **Oracle:** also refuses to do his exams

 **Queen:** Not quite what I had originally expected from the Phantom Thieves.

 **Oracle:** not what anyone expected but it makes sense

 **Queen:** It makes far too much sense.

 **Joker:** Don’t bully me like this.

 **Oracle:** take your tests akira

 **Joker:** No u

 **Oracle:** [ fuck-you.png ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357689731938516993/471798362040041472/CSuB3ZW.png)

**Joker:** Well shit.

 **Oracle:** >:3c

* * *

 

_October 2nd 2017_

_9:19 am_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Ryuji Sakamoto**

 

 **AK:** Hey question for you.

 **RS:** wats up?

 **AK:** You remember that time I said Mr. Hiruta is a twink, right?

 **RS:** yh

 **RS:** i have yet to unsee that mental image y

 **AK:** You think he’s a bottom?

 **RS:** _DUDE_

 **AK:** Answer the question Sakamoto.

 **RS:** i refuse

 **AK:** Ryuji please.

 **RS:** arent u in the same class as ann? ask her

 **AK:** I did. She hit me.

 **AK:** I also turned around to the kid behind me, god bless him I don’t even know his name but what a trooper, and asked him.

 **AK:** I looked him dead in the eye and asked this student, who probably has so much dirt on me and has yet to rat me out, if our biology teacher is a bottom.

 **RS:** akira… r u serious

 **AK:** Dead serious.

 **RS:** akira

 **AK:** Is Mr. Hiruta a bottom, yes or no?

 **RS:** i mean,,,prolly

 **RS:** y do u even want to kno?

 **AK:** I was spacing out during one of his lectures and somehow got to the thought “hmm I wonder if he’s a top or bottom? He seems like a bottom.”

 **RS:** how the hell does ur mind work wat the fuck

 **AK:** Don’t ask. I have yet to figure that out either.

 **RS:** fair

 **AK:** Real talk though, shout out to the kid behind me. I don’t even know his name but he is my God now.

 **RS:** for real

 **AK:** He can clearly see the cat in my desk, has probably seen me making some shady ass lock picks when the teachers are out of the classroom, probably has full view of my text conversations and has seen the weird shit we’ve all said in main pt group, and hasn’t said jack about any of it. For all I know he is reading this conversation.

 **AK:** Ryuji say hi to him just in case he is reading this.

 **RS:** yo. thanks for not rattin us out ig

 **AK:** Amen.

 **RS:** ok but how did this kid react when u asked him if mr hiruta is a bottom?

 **AK:** He just looked at me all scared and pretended to be doing work.

 **RS:** fair

* * *

 

_October 4th 2017_

_5:39 pm_

 

**ryuji sucks at overwatch**

 

 **Joker:** Hey Shujin students I have a proposition for you.

 **Panther:** what?

 **Skull:** ye?

 **Noir:** Yes?

 **Queen:** Akira what are you planning.

 **Joker:** Well, Makoto, since you mentioned exams were soon.

 **Joker:** A certain someone once told me that screaming tends to relieve stress.

 **Panther:** was it yusuke?

 **Joker:** No I wish. Have you ever heard him scream at all since knowing him?

 **Panther:** fair point

 **Queen:** Where are you going with this?

 **Joker:** So to relieve pre-exam stress I propose we all go up to the roof and scream away our stress.

 **Queen:** The roof is off limits, you know this.

 **Skull:** i like that idea lets go

 **Panther:** ryuji are you going to yell the word “fuck” from the rooftop?

 **Skull:** no

 **Noir:** Oh i like that idea!

 **Queen:** Haru no..

 **Panther:** akira that is the dumbest idea you have ever had.

 **Joker:** And?

 **Panther:** if you want to scream from the rooftop i won’t stop you but just know this may be your dumbest idea yet

 **Joker:** Ann hear me out.

 **Joker:** You can scream “fuck Akechi” from the rooftop.

 **Joker:** Think about it.

 **Joker:** Fuck Akechi.

 **Skull:** HELL YEAH DUDE

 **Skull:** FUCK AKECHI

 **Joker:** Fuck Akechi.

 **Panther:** …

 **Panther:** fuck akechi

 **Noir:** Fuck akechi?

 **Queen:** …

 **Joker:** Come on Makoto you can do it.

 **Skull:** u kno u wanna

 **Queen:** …

 **Queen:**...Fuck Akechi.

 **Joker:** She swear

 **Skull:** she swear

 **Queen:** Don’t make me regret this.

 **Skull:** ok but is that a go ahead to scream on the roof or

 **Queen:** No. Do not scream from the roof.

 **Joker:** But Makotoooo

 **Queen:** No.

 **Joker:** Rooftop scream?

 **Queen:** _No._

 **Skull:** rooftop scream :(

 **Queen:** There will be no rooftop scream.

 **Joker:** Can I rooftop scream in hell?

 **Queen:** Akira you can do whatever it is you would like in Hell.

 **Joker:** Does that include snorting crack off of gravestones.

 **Queen:** Except that.

 **Joker:** You can’t stop me.

 **Queen:** I will use necromancy to summon you and use physical force to stop you from snorting crack off of a gravestone. Don’t test me.

 **Joker:** Jesus Christ fine.

 **Noir:** Why would you want to do that akira-kun?

 **Joker:** Long story. I told the pts to snort crack off of my gravestone when I die but Makoto said no.

 **Noir:** That sounds dangerous.

 **Joker:** Maybe so.

* * *

 

_October 6th 2017_

_5:30 am_

 

**ryuji sucks at overwatch**

 

 **Oracle:** how do you hide a dead body

 **Fox:** Futaba who did you kill.

 **Oracle:** no one im just curious

 **Noir:** First things first get rid of anything the police could use to identify the body. Remove teeth, nails, fingerprints, dna and anything else that could be used to identify the victim.

 **Oracle:** ok im listening what next

 **Fox:** Futaba, no.

 **Oracle:** dont tell me what to do inari

 **Noir:** A good way to get rid of a body would be to burn it in hydrochloric acid. Acid can burn through the human body and will remove any traces of dna. Soaking the body in a vat of acid would work.

 **Oracle:** thats a lot of acid

 **Fox:** Where would you even get that much acid?

 **Oracle:** your local drug dealer

 **Fox:** Not that kind of acid.

 **Oracle:** cant believe inari does drugs >:3c

 **Oracle:** actually nvm he probably inhales paint on a daily

 **Fox:** Not intentionally.

 **Oracle:** how ventilated is your dorm room

 **Fox:** …

 **Oracle:** do you at least open the window

 **Fox:** Sometimes.

 **Oracle:** point proven youre high

 **Fox:** Not quite.

 **Oracle:** haru continue

 **Noir:** Another way to rid a dead body would to bury it, however if you do that you would have to put a decoy somewhere. Police have special dogs that are meant to track the scent of the dead, so if you bury a dead animal a few feet above the dead body the police will think it’s a false alarm. Problem with that would be that you would have to kill an animal, and they have done nothing wrong.

 **Oracle:** dont kill animals

 **Noir:** If you do bury the body it would be best to do so where there is a freshly dug grave and just double up the bodies so that no one gets suspicious, or if you’re in the forest cover up the fresh dirt with leaves and other things found in the forest.

 **Oracle:** good advice

 **Fox:** What do you mean by a “freshly dug grave?” Like a grave in a cemetery?

 **Noir:** Yes, exactly that. A cemetery would be the place the cops are not going to look if they try to find the body. If they did look there, they wouldn’t be able to find anything.

 **Oracle:** so you mean hide the body in plain sight >:3

 **Noir:** Precisely.

 **Noir:** You could also feed a dead body to pigs. Pigs will eat anything. Just be sure to rid the body of its teeth and hair so that the piggies don’t choke on it. You will also need a lot of pigs.

 **Oracle:** how many pigs

 **Noir:** Around 15-20 pigs, depending how big the body is. Maybe more.

 **Oracle:** thats a lot of pigs

 **Noir:** It is.

 **Fox:** Haru how do you know all of this?

 **Noir:** We all have our hobbies~

 **Fox:** You mean you kill and hide bodies for fun?

 **Noir:** No nothing like that! I just watch a lot of cop shows and do a lot of research~

 **Noir:** I could never kill anyone. I’m just fascinated by the way killers’ brains work and i like looking into those sorts of things. I have never killed anyone, i promise!

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Oracle:** i dont believe that

 **Noir:** I would never do anything like that!

 **Oracle:** thats exactly what a killer would say

 **Oracle:** if you kill for fun i wont judge you like you said we all have our hobbies

 **Fox:** Right, like Futaba hacks into stuff that she should not hack into.

 **Oracle:** and inari gets high off of his paint

 **Fox:** Wrong.

 **Oracle:** hey if you like to inhale paint i wont judge you for it

 **Fox:** I am not inhaling paint.

 **Oracle:** thats a lie youre always inhaling paint its just not intentional

 **Fox:** I…

 **Fox:** Okay.

 **Oracle:** inaris just annoyed that i hacked into his phone and changed his phone background to pepe

 **Noir:** That’s impressive futaba! Your skills are truly incredible!

 **Fox:** They’re impressive when they aren’t being used against me.

 **Oracle:** cant stop me

 **Fox:** At the very least you could have changed my phone background to something aesthetically pleasing.

 **Oracle:** wdym pepe is the most pleasing thing i have ever seen

 **Oracle:** rip pepe gone but never forgotten

 **Fox:** Isn’t that considered a hate symbol now?

 **Oracle:** ye

 **Noir:** Oh my.

 **Oracle:** tell you what inari ill change your background to a picture i got of akira mid yawn

 **Fox:** Or you could leave my phone alone and let me change it myself.

 **Oracle:** nah

 **Fox:** Did you really change it to Akira mid-yawn?

 **Oracle:** yh

 **Fox:** How did you even get a picture from this angle…

 **Oracle:** i took the picture from his camera while he was using his phone

 **Fox:** That is...disturbing.

* * *

 

_October 7th 2017_

_7:20 am_

 

**Haru Okumura → Makoto Niijima**

 

 **HO:** Hi mako-chan! I was just wondering if after school today you might be able to assist me? I have to attend to the plants, but there’s a lot of them. It’s going to take a long time with just one person and my father wants me to attend a meeting for him today, so i don’t have much time. Could you help me?

 **MN:** Of course! I would be more than happy to help you. I must warn you though, I don’t know a lot about gardening.

 **HO:** That’s okay, i can teach you!

 **MN:** In that case I can most definitely assist. You’ll have to tell me what to do.

 **HO:** Sure thing! Thank you so much for helping!

 **MN:** Anytime, Haru. If you ever need help with anything, you can count on me.

 **HO:** Thank you!

* * *

 

_October 8th 2017_

_9:18 pm_

 

**ryuji sucks at overwatch**

 

 **Oracle:** [ kink-of-the-hill.jpg ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/406661647034351619/473160843870208001/zmft9548hvc11.jpg)

**Fox:** Why do you feel the need to share this with the group?

 **Oracle:** i saw it and it felt important

 **Oracle:** also i thought of akira

 **Joker:** What

 **Oracle:** that drag outfit tho,,makoto and haru made you look like a fucking dominatrix cop

 **Joker:** I asked to be made beautiful and was not disappointed. Although leather against skin feels awful.

 **Skull:** im kinkshaming

 **Joker:** LAKSDLKADFLKJ WRONG

 **Joker:** THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT

 **Oracle:** akira? a sadomasochist and a dominatrix? more likely than you think >:3

 **Oracle:** you got a good deal from this inari

 **Fox:** I’m ignoring that comment.

 **Oracle:** press f to pay respects

 **Oracle:** f

 **Skull:** f

 **Panther:** f

 **Fox:** F

 **Joker:** f

 **Joker:** Also Ann when did you come in?

 **Panther:** just now

 **Skull:** i just read the kink of the hill thing nd immediately thought

 **Skull:** fetish of the farm

 **Panther:** kajddaflhkealkfj

 **Joker:** Thanks I hate it

 **Oracle:** compulsion of the company?

 **Joker:** LKJSFDLKJEA

 **Joker:** FUTABA HOW DID YOU MAKE THIS WORSE

 **Fox:** Going to Church and praying for forgiveness.

 **Panther:** akhdlkhsfsd

 **Panther:** I have to agree with yusuke here pffft

 **Joker:** Yusuke you have no room to talk. You made me t-pose in a church.

 **Oracle:** EX FUCKING SCUSE ME WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN

 **Fox:** I did not make you “t-pose,” and I was using you as a model.

 **Skull:** cant believe akira tposed in a church

 **Oracle:** did you tpose the priest into a corner to assert your dominance over him

 **Panther:** i swear this chat just gets dumber and dumber every day

 **Joker:** Unfortunately, no, but I should have. The priest basically said Yusuke’s theme was wrong.

 **Fox:** Not quite. He said that what I was choosing to portray didn’t quite fit the theme.

 **Joker:** Same thing.

 **Fox:** No.

 **Panther:** this is really gay

 **Joker:** You’re really gay.

 **Panther:** shit you got me

 **Joker:** Oh hey how’s Shiho?

 **Panther:** she’s great! i bought her a stuffed panda holding a heart because i thought it was cute and my heart melted she was so happy

 **Panther:** she’s so adorable ahh i need to see her soon i miss her

 **Joker:** Ann that is really gay.

 **Panther:** you’re really gay what’s your point

 **Fox:** Can confirm.

 **Joker:** Shit you got me there.

 **Skull:** ur bringing it back finally

 **Oracle:** this entire chat is really gay :\

 **Joker:** What’s your point?

 **Oracle:** you got me there

* * *

 

_October 9th 2017_

_4:48 pm_

 

**ryuji sucks at overwatch**

 

 **Queen:** Haru, are there any updates on Okumura?

 **Noir:** As of right now, no. He’s mostly been locked up in his office and only occasionally comes out for small periods of time.

 **Noir:** However i have overheard bits and pieces of what i think were phone conversations.

 **Joker:** Whatcha got Haru?

 **Noir:** I’m not too sure. He’s trying to set something up, but i can’t completely tell yet. I’ll let you know when i get more information.

 **Noir:** I’m sorry i don’t have more to share.

 **Joker:** Don’t be. We’ll know what’s happening within a few days.

 **Noir:** How can i be sure when a change of heart takes place?

 **Queen:** Trust me, you’ll know. So far it seems as if he is following the same basic formatting all of our other targets have gone through during a change of heart.

 **Noir:** What do you mean?

 **Joker:** It seems most of our targets sort of go MIA for awhile afterwards. Kamoshida was absent from school before finally confessing, Madarame had remained bedridden before confessing during a press conference, Kaneshiro sort of went silent before finally confessing. The only wild card there had been Futaba and Medjed, however that was a completely different issue.

 **Queen:** As of right now, it sounds as if a change of heart is taking place. We’ll just have to wait a little longer before something starts happening.

 **Noir:** I see…

 **Noir:** Now that you mention it, kamoshida had been absent for almost two weeks before confessing in front of the whole school. None of the targets have confessed directly after receiving a calling card, but rather several days after.

 **Queen:** Exactly. You must give it time before the change of heart really sets in. It’s not something that just happens overnight.

 **Noir:** Okay. I will keep you all updated.

* * *

 

_October 10th 2017_

_8:17 pm_

 

**ryuji sucks at overwatch**

 

 **Noir:** Oh wow i didn’t expect to have any updates right away but i have something to share!

 **Panther:** oh yeah?

 **Queen:** What did you find out?

 **Noir:** My father arranged for an emergency press conference tomorrow night.

 **Joker:** So what are we thinking? Do you want to gather at Leblanc tomorrow night and watch it together?

 **Queen:** This may be when we finally find out about the mental shutdowns.

 **Joker:** We might also find more information about the “one in the black mask.” Kaneshiro was the last person to mention him, and what he said was rather unsettling. Perhaps he has something to do with the mental shutdowns?

 **Panther:** it’s possible. kaneshiro did say that the one in the black mask was using palaces to accomplish whatever he wanted to… mental shutdowns and psychotic breakdowns might not be out of that realm of possibility

 **Noir:** Black mask…?

 **Queen:** We haven’t talked to you about that, have we Haru?

 **Oracle:** why am i just now hearing about the black mask :\

 **Joker:** Right. We haven’t talked about it since Kaneshiro. We’ll have to spend more time looking into it. I’ll explain everything later, alright?

 **Noir:** Actually about the press conference. I have a proposal.

 **Queen:** Sure. What is it?

 **Noir:** I was thinking we could watch the press conference at destinyland? There’s supposed to be fireworks, and we would have the park all to ourselves.

 **Joker:** Are you serious? That’s expensive as shit.

 **Noir:** Oh don’t worry about it! I have that all taken care of.

 **Noir:** A meeting was supposed to be arranged to take place at destinyland but it was cancelled. We still have that spot open, so i can just call and let them know. We would have the entire place to ourselves.

 **Queen:** Are you sure, Haru?

 **Noir:** Yes! I want to have fun with it. Think of it as a celebration for a job well done?

 **Panther:** now that i think about it, we haven’t had a celebration party in a while…

 **Panther:** pre-celebration party for another change of heart and for haru’s addition to the team?

 **Joker:** In that case..

 **Joker:** Haru are you sure you want to do this for us?

 **Noir:** Yes! You all have done so much for me, i would like to do something in return.

 **Joker:** @Everyone

 **Joker:** Celebration party at Destinyland tomorrow. We gonna watch the press conference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo first things first sorry I'm a week late. Last week was a tough week for me and I couldn't force myself to write for the life of me. Writing machine kind of Broke so yeah sorry about that.  
> Secondly, I made a discord server for dp5gcs! I got the idea after binging a ton of bnha groupchat fics and 90% of them had discord servers. I thought I'd give it a try and a lot of you who follow me on tumblr were willing to join!  
> That's about it. Thank you guys for sticking around this long <3  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818  
> dp5gcs discord link: https://discord.gg/6ppGrYj


	32. well fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: Yeah this is when I leave haha not dealing with this.  
> Skull: u cant avoid it forever dude  
> Joker: I can damn well try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 8/11/18: Shout out to Mike for making this I'm screaming https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ypJJRrw3vs&feature=youtu.be
> 
> tw: implied anxiety attack

_October 11th 2017_

_8:45 pm_

 

Destinyland, Akira had come to learn, truly was a Kingdom of Dreams. At least, that’s what all the commercials had to say about it. Perhaps the directors behind those commercials were onto something.

The staff had provided delicious meals for the group, all of which were completely free of charge. They had even prepared several plates of sushi at Morgana’s request. Fireworks were supposedly to go off around nine, the same time the press conference started.

Akira sat at the end of the table, Ryuji directly to his right, and Futaba to his left. The table had been set underneath several lights, overlooking a lake in the center of it all. Bright stars from the night sky reflected into the water, as if bits of the atmosphere had fallen into the lake, itself. For the first time in a long time, all the tension and stress Akira had been carrying had completely dispersed.

Ann leaned forward in her chair. “This view really is beautiful.” Black cat ears sat on her head, courtesy of the Destinyland gift shop.

“‘It’s almost as beautiful as you.’” Futaba dawned in a faux british accent. She giggled before following it up with “That’s the kind of stuff couples say, right?”

The other girl returned the laugh. “Almost anyone would fall for a line like that in front of a scene like this.”

“That’s the kinda stuff Akira would say to Inari.” Futaba elbowed Akira in the side.

Akira pushed his glasses up the bridge of the nose. Ideally, he would be able to do that anime-glasses-glint thing, but reality was, unfortunately, not on his side. “Yusuke--”

“Don’t.” Yusuke shook his head from where he sat on the other side of the table.

Akira smirked. “Aww, but _honey--”_

“No.”

“Really, this view is almost as beautiful as--”

“It’s not going to work.”

“It’s almost as beautiful as you.”

“Please.”

Futaba grinned a devious, cheshire cat grin. “Come on, Inari, that didn’t work?” She widened her eyes. “I thought that line worked on everyone.”

Yusuke rolled his eyes, but there was no hiding the childish smile on his face. Akira wished Yusuke would smile like that more often. He turned his attention back to Akira. “You’re going to have to try harder.”

Ryuji playfully rolled his eyes and lightly nudged Ann’s arm with his elbow. “C’mon, you guys are gettin’ way too excited stuff.” Akira couldn’t but find it semi-ironic that Ryuji was attempting to tell them off while wearing a bear headband.

 _Kingdom of Dreams, huh?_ Akira thought with a tight smirk. _Maybe it is._

“You say that like you’re not tapping into your inner child too, Ryuji.” Ann set her hand on Ryuji’s arm and gave a reassuring squeeze. With her other hand, she gestured to the bear ears.

Ryuji sputtered. “That’s just ‘cause Futaba kept nagging me to put them on.”

Futaba reached across Akira and cast Ryuji a look that was anything but innocent. “I did not.” She crossed her arms adolescently.

“You said something like that.”

With a shrug, Akira managed to push Futaba back into her seat. He turned his attention to the delinquent to the other side of him. “Don’t fight in those.” Loosely, he swatted at one of the fuzzy bear ears.

Ryuji scowled. He opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off.

Yusuke rested one leg on his chair and tucked a strand of blue hair behind his ear. “This is so heartwarming.”

Akira couldn’t have agreed more with that statement.

“I would have liked to have seen the parade as well, but given how sudden the request was, they couldn’t get enough staff together to do it.” Haru admitted. She clasped her hands in front of her, lingering behind Makoto’s chair at the other end of the table. In the little time they had known Haru, somehow she and Makoto had developed a bond that Akira was not sure he could fully comprehend. Whatever was between them, he hoped for the best. As long as they were happy, he supposed. Besides, they worked well together.

Makoto turned around to face Haru, a smitten smile painted across her face. “Perhaps that will have to wait until next time.” In response, Haru just giggled.

At that moment, Akira’s phone buzzed softly in his pocket.

* * *

 

_October 11th 2017_

_8:49 pm_

 

**Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **YK:** I didn’t want to say anything in front of the others, to avoid disturbing them.

 **YK:** We haven’t had much time to talk, just the two of us. Could you come with me for a moment?

 **AK:** Yes.

* * *

 

_October 11th 2017_

_8:50 pm_

 

Akira met Yusuke’s gaze from the other side of the table. Careful not to disturb Ryuji and Futaba’s soft bickering, he stood and allowed himself to be pulled away from the table. Not like anyone would notice, anyway. They’d be back before the conference.

They walked a bit away from the table. Yusuke lead Akira between a closed food stand and some sort of gift shop, a spot overlooking the water.

“What’s up?” Akira asked. His heart purred in content. Somehow, Yusuke just had that effect on him. Somehow, Akira had also grown to accept that he was tripping over himself for Yusuke. Akira wondered if Yusuke knew just how much Akira really wanted him.

“I missed you.” Yusuke admitted. He spoke the words naturally, as if they had been together for years.

Akira bit his bottom lip. “How are you able to just say that?” He forced himself to remain calm, even if somewhere inside everything was churning in want.

“It’s the truth.”

Akira bit back a lovestruck laugh. He leaned over the railing, overlooking the water. His mouth curled into a smile of pure fondness, much to his dismay. “You’re smoothe, Yusuke Kitagawa.”

“Hmm? You’re breaking out the full name?” Yusuke leaned against the railing, right next to Akira. “You’re not to bad yourself, Akira.”

It took every inch of willpower to resist the urge to reach out and grab Yusuke’s hand. “Aww, you’re not going to use my full name? That’s too bad, I bet it would sound real good coming from you.”

Yusuke chuckled, and Akira swore all of his pain was gone. He wasn’t completely sure he could recall what pain was.

“You know, I think Ann was right.” Yusuke admitted. “This view is almost indescribable. I hope one day I can capture beauty like this in my artwork.”

“Way to change the subject.” Akira brushed the back of his hand against Yusuke’s. He turned his attention towards the lake. “She might have been onto something. This view is almost… serene?”

“I’m not sure ‘serene’ is what I would use for it, but it is a good start.”

“Oh yeah? What would you use?”

Yusuke gripped the white railing. A faraway look reflected in his steel grey eyes. His blue hair blew gently in the wind. Akira yearned to run his fingers through that hair. In the moonlight, he could almost make out the dark roots of his hair.

“Perhaps ‘fond’? Or ‘ardent’?”

“‘Ardent’? Huh, interesting choice.” Akira folded his arms over the railing. Soft flecks of light from the sky reflected into the water. “Ann was right about something, at least.” That part was mostly under his breath.

“She just might have.” Yusuke agreed. His breath was but a whisper.

 _Fuck it._ Akira thought. He scooted a bit closer to Yusuke and laid his head on Yusuke’s shoulder. With Yusuke, you had to be direct. He wasn’t good about picking up on certain hints, and why waste time on it?

Yusuke moved his arm, and wrapped it around Akira, almost like at the fireworks festival. That same butterfly feeling returned, just as he had felt back then. Only now, it was much more intense. It was almost like turning up the voltage on a car battery.

Akira’s heart crawled into his throat. He was vaguely aware of how his hands were slightly shaking, whether it be in anxiety or desire, he wasn’t sure.

“You know, it’s funny,” Yusuke muttered. “To think at one point I hated you, when all you were trying to do was protect me. How the tables have turned since then.”

“We were a little pushy.” Akira admitted. “Although, we really just wanted to keep you safe. I guess things are different now.”

“Indeed they are.”

Akira nuzzled his head into the crook of Yusuke’s neck. “Why do you mention that? What’s on your mind?”

“You.” Yusuke spoke the word like a prayer. “Lately, I find that you’re the only thing on my mind.”

“I guess we’re one in the same, then.” Something within Akira burned bright, brighter than anything else he had ever witnessed.

Yusuke pulled his arm back, and Akira, begrudgingly, lifted his head. Instead, Yusuke allowed his hand to brush against Akira’s cheek.

Akira took a step closer. He stared directly into Yusuke’s eyes. Someone could get lost in those eyes, Akira figured. He found himself unable to pull his gaze away.

“Beautiful.” Yusuke whispered in awe.

“What is?” Akira was as light as a feather, his hand clasped firmly against Yusuke’s cheek. When had that happened? In the moment, it seemed, no matter what happened, he would be okay. Everything would all work out in the end. It always did.

“You.”

The distance between them closed, and Akira found a set of soft, slightly chapped lips against his own, as if it were a brilliant touch of satin against skin. Soft sparks shot up Akira’s spine and a passion of pure fire lit between them; everything he had wanted for so long was all within reach, perhaps even closer. The world could have stopped and everything could have come crashing down, and quite frankly Akira wouldn’t have cared.

A few loud cracks rang through, followed by streaks of colorful lights to shine in the luminous night sky. Despite the cold of the mid autumn air, Akira had never been warmer. Somehow, Yusuke’s arms had wrapped around Akira’s waist, and Akira gripped fist fulls of Yusuke’s silky hair, and _damn was it soft,_ and somehow for the first time in his life everything was completely and utterly perfect.

It seemed like they remained there for an eternity. In all actuality, it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds. If only he could have lived in the moment forever.

Perhaps it was just a trick of the light, or lack thereof anyhow, but Yusuke’s cheeks were flushed a light shade of pink. Akira was conscious of the fact that Yusuke still had a firm hold on his waist.

“I thought you said kissing was gross.” Yusuke expressed. How did he remember that conversation?

Akira breathed out a soft giggle. “Yeah, well, I still stand by that but I can make some exceptions.”

To prove his point further, he leaned forward and pulled Yusuke in for another kiss.

* * *

 

_October 11th 2017_

_8:59 pm_

 

“Huh? Where’d Akira and Yusuke go?”

“They prolly just went off somewhere on their own for a bit.”

“Wonder if Akira finally got over himself and asked the pretty art boy out?”

“I hope so. I love Akira to pieces, but his pining was getting a little painful.”

“That’s funny coming from you, Makoto.”

“Huh? Just what do you mean by _that?”_

“Oh nothing… heheh.”

“They’ve been gone an awfully long time. The conference is going to start soon.”

“Thousand yen says they’re fucking behind a dumpster somewhere.”

“Futaba!”

“Relax, it was a joke. Right, Futaba?”

“Of course.”

“Oh thank God.”

“They’re fucking behind Akechi.”

_“Futaba!”_

Somehow, by the time Akira had gotten back, the table had turned to complete chaos. Their yelling was audible before he got anywhere near it. Then again, not like he expected much else. If the table had been quiet he would have been a little more concerned. They were nothing if not chaotic.

“We’re back, you can calm down now.” Akira shoved his hands in his pants pockets to prevent himself from reaching out and grabbing Yusuke’s hand. “No, we weren’t fucking behind Akechi or a dumpster. I’m a little classier than that, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I dunno, dude. You said in chat that you’d fuck Akechi, and he’s prolly got at least some sort of disease.” Ryuji said. He crossed his leg over his knee and leaned back in his chair hesitantly.

Akira pulled his chair out from the table, lightly smacking the back of Ryuji’s head in the process,  and sat down. “I never explicitly stated I would fuck him.”

“Okay, so would you fuck him?” Ryuji raised an eyebrow.

“No, absolutely not.” Akira met Yusuke’s eye from across the table and subtly dropped a slight wink. Yusuke shook his head in response.

“Hey! You can discuss this later, the conference is starting.” Ann cut in.

Somehow, Akira found himself looking between his, Futaba’s and Ryuji’s phone.

Haru leaned over to get a view of Makoto’s screen. “Father…” The word was but a sad, lone whisper, lost to the world. It was most likely to herself more than anything, but he still managed to catch sight of it. He had a sneaking suspicion the rest of the table had, as well.

Okumura appeared on screen in front of a conference table, surrounded by microphones. Dark shadows stood out under his eyes, as if he hadn’t slept in weeks. His hair was a little more tossed than it had been last time Akira had seen him. Okumura rose from his seat and spoke.

“Thank you all for taking time out of your busy schedules to gather here. Today, I’d like to elaborate on the whole truth behind my company’s ‘labor’ situation.” His voice was calm, but hollow, filled with a deep, purple regret. “...How my employees were forced to work under severe conditions, how… ‘lax’ we were with sanitation, and how my corporation acted as a whole to cover up every facet of this scandal. For all of this, I wholeheartedly apologize.” His voice cracked on that last line, in the way that it would when choking back tears. Akira was all too familiar with that moment, when your body betrayed you like that.

Okumura bowed his head in apology. Camera flashes echoed from the speakers, most likely from journalists and reporters attending the conference in person.

A journalist’s voice picked up from off screen. “So are you saying all of this was done under your orders?”

Okumura picked himself back in the upright position and nodded. “Yes. I am solely responsible for all of this.

The same journalist spoke up once more. “We heard that dozens if your employees were forced to resign due to mysterious illness. Furthermore, these happened to be officials who stood against your proposal for overseas expansion. The same thing also happened to executives at competing companies who were looking to expand abroad. Is all this true?”

“Yes.” Okumura nodded once more.

“Was it all coincidence?”

He paused, and averted his gaze to the side.

“We’d like some answers, please.”

Okumura sighed. “About that. I have a critical piece of information to announce here today.”

Ryuji prodded Akira’s arm with his elbow. “This is it.”

Morgana spoke up from where he stood, looking over Ann’s shoulder at her phone. “Here it comes. Okumura’s going to say who’s behind the mental shutdowns.”

Akira’s head swam with all this newfound information. Was this really it? The moment they had been waiting for?

Okumura sat down at the table. “I…”

Suddenly, his eyes widened. The various microphones echoed his voice, and he released a small, pained wheeze. He clawed at the front of his white dress shirt, before throwing his head back and letting out a bloodcurdling hiss of pain. Static and pleads of torment filled with pure agony filled the air, before his limp body dropped to the table like a ragdoll. Deep specks of crimson stained the crisp white table cloth. Whispers of terror and confusion came from the crowd somewhere off screen.

Someone approached the table. “Okumura-san?”

He lifted his head up in the same way a marionette operated by an amateur puppeteer would move. Waves of thick, sticky black-red blood poured from his eye sockets, devoid of any pupil, and mouth. The camera views began to skip, the movements shaky, until eventually the visuals and audio cut out entirely, and a screen reading “please stand by” took its place.

No one said anything. A dull ache, right behind Akira’s eyes, throbbed in confusion. What just _happened?_ Did…. Did Okumura just?

Haru was the first to react. “F-father?!” She sprung up immediately and fumbled with her small, pink hand purse.

“Why did he collapse?” Ann stammered.

Makoto stood, nearly kicking her chair over in the process. “That didn’t look right. Don’t tell me, he…” Desperation and anxiety coated her words, reflecting exactly just how everyone else felt.

Haru gripped her phone so fiercely her knuckles turned white. “Mona-chan, what’s going on?”

“No, that’s impossible!” Morgana shook his head. His tail swished back and forth in anticipation.

Akira slammed his hands down on the table. “We did everything the same. What just happened?”

Morgana rubbed at his eyes with a paw. “You’re right. We followed the same steps and everything. We made sure we _just_ took the treasure, too”

“Secure a route, send a calling card, steal the treasure. We did all of that right, and somehow he still collapsed. What did we do wrong?” Despite everything going on internally, Akira managed to keep his voice level. A good leader had to remain strong, even in times of crisis. He couldn’t allow himself to go into panic mode; not yet. If anyone on the team had to stay composed, it was him.

Haru bit her lip harshly. “I should call home.” Before she even finished the statement she took off, already punching a number into her phone.

Ann tugged at the bottom of one of her pigtails restlessly. “This isn’t our fault...is it?” She croaked. “It’s been okay every other time we’ve done this.”

Makoto jerked her head towards Morgana. “If we let the shadow live, the person won’t undergo mental shutdown. Right?” She practically demanded.

Morgana nodded. “That’s how it _should_ work.”

Ryuji’s eyebrows knit together. “Yeah, it’s gotta be. That’s how it’s worked every other time.” Even he was near defeat.

Futaba, who had been silent up until that point, made a noise somewhere between a sob and a gasp. She dropped her phone as if it had burned her hand and clamped her hands over her ears.

Yusuke was the first to react to this. He approached her and spoke calmly and with understanding. “What’s wrong?”

She squeezed her eyes shut. “This… it’s the same….” Her voice shook violently. “It’s...it’s just like what happened…” She gulped. “What happened to my mom..”

Futaba reached out and clung to his arm, like a young boy clinging to his mother.

Yusuke patted her head softly with her free hand. “So this is what happens when mental shutdown occurs.”

“But why did they target Okumura-san?” Makoto wondered out loud. No one had an answer for her.

At that moment Haru returned, and any shred of stability Akira had broke away.

“Um… I have to go.” Haru muttered. The area beneath her eyes were red. “I’ll talk to the staff before I leave. Feel free to take your time.” Before anyone could respond she had already rushed off.

“This ain’t our fault, right?” Ryuji rasped. His hands were fists balled at his sides.

Yusuke, who still had Futaba at his side, ran a hand through his hair. Akira barely caught notice of an area, right above his left eyebrow that was oddly colored from the rest of his skin. Yusuke’s hair fell back into place before Akira could really look at it. At a more reasonable time, he would have to ask about it.

“I’d like to think so.” Yusuke sighed. Futaba dug her face closer into his chest.

Akira’s arms shook. His breaths were much shallower than normal, and all the pieces of his heart began to chip off and dissolve into nothingness. _So much for staying strong,_ he bleakly thought.

What went wrong?

* * *

 

_October 12th 2017_

_12:12 am_

 

**ryuji sucks at overwatch**

 

 **Queen:** Seeing as how no one has said anything yet, I suppose I’ll have to.

 **Queen:** What… what happened?

 **Fox:** It would seem that Okumura suffered a mental shutdown. Which begs the question how did that happen in the first place? We followed all the same requirements. How could this be?

 **Oracle:** we did everything the same what went wrong?

 **Panther:** this couldn’t have been our doing… could it?

 **Skull:** it cnt b we did evrythin rite

 **Queen:** Futaba, how are you holding up?

 **Oracle:** im

 **Oracle:** im not sure

 **Skull:** it aint ur fault futaba, just rememeber that

 **Oracle:** thanks…

 **Oracle:** rememeber

 **Skull:** shhh

 **Panther:** “rememeber” huh?

 **Skull:** shhhhh

 **Fox:** How do you even misspell a word like that?

 **Skull:** look it aint bully ryuji hours shh

 **Oracle:** its always bully ryuji hours

 **Skull:** bite me

 **Oracle:** ill pass :\

 **Queen:** Well, at least we can joke around and try to lighten the mood a bit..

 **Fox:** In situations like this, sometimes it’s nice to take your mind off things. We already established that we don’t know quite what happened, or how it happened. As of right now, all we can do is wait for more information to be released.

 **Skull:** ah man...ppl r gonna blame us 4 this rnt they

 **Fox:** How is your spelling somehow worse than usual?

 **Skull:** lsten yusuke

 **Skull:** ive gven up 4 now

 **Fox:** Doesn’t it take more effort to spell like that than just typing normally would?

 **Skull:** no

 **Joker:** Why did I just come in the chat to see this I was expecting this to be really sad and didn’t want to deal with it.

 **Panther:** aren’t you the leader? don’t you kinda have to deal with sad stuff?

 **Joker:** I mean yeah but right now everything hurts and I don’t have the energy to deal with emotions right now.

 **Oracle:** thats a constant mood

 **Joker:** Hey Futaba I have a question for you?

 **Oracle:** yeah?

 **Joker:** How did it feel having your face pressed into Yusuke’s chest like that and how can I sign up to be hugged by Yusuke?

 **Oracle:** it felt like holding a stick but it was oddly comforting

 **Fox:** That is the nicest thing you have ever said to me.

 **Oracle:** :\ yea thats all youre getting

 **Fox:** I’ll accept that.

 **Joker:** Hey Yusuke wanna come over and hold me like that?

 **Fox:** The trains have all stopped running for tonight, otherwise I would.

 **Panther:** god i can’t get the image of okumura’s face out of my head…

 **Skull:** this sux

 **Joker:** Yeah this is when I leave haha not dealing with this.

 **Skull:** u cant avoid it forever dude

 **Joker:** I can damn well try.

 **Joker:** Fuck you and your emotional bullshit bye.

 **Oracle:** can i get that on my wall

 **Queen:** Is he okay?

 **Skull:** r u really askin tht rn?

 **Queen:** I suppose that was… a dumb question. My apologies.

 **Queen:** I can’t help but notice that Haru is absent from this conversation. Has anyone tried contacting her?

 **Panther:** not yet. i’m going to text her tomorrow and see if i get anything.

 **Skull:** she prolly has a lot to deal with rn

 **Oracle:** hey uh...sorry to ask this but its been bothering me since the conference

 **Oracle:** do you think haru is going to hate us after this?

 **Panther:** what?

 **Oracle:** i mean that was her father and right now it looks like its our fault

 **Oracle:** haru would have every reason to hate us for what happened and she might want nothing to do with us right now

 **Fox:** Futaba, you’re thinking too much. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, but for now don’t worry about it.

 **Oracle:** hhhhhhhhhhhhhok

* * *

 

_October 12th 2017_

_12:23 pm_

 

**Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **YK:** You left the chat rather abruptly. Are you alright?

 **AK:** I’m fine.

 **YK:** Akira, between you and me, we both know the term “I’m fine” is to be used when someone is quite the opposite.

 **AK:** You are...too observant sometimes, you know that?

 **AK:** I’m just a little freaked out right now, you know? Given what happened tonight, I think I can at least do that.

 **AK:** Since the press conference I have gotten Mishima texting me asking if we killed him, Shinya texted me asking if the Phantom Thieves did that shit to Okumura, Morgana went on a walk, and everyone is expecting me to be strong because I’m the leader and I’m really trying to keep it together but god dammit we might have just killed someone and I don’t know what went wrong we did everything the same. Everything was perfect and you were perfect and the scenery was fucking perfect and then the press conference happened and nothing is fucking perfect it all came to shit right when I let my goddamn guard down. Yusuke this might be all our fault. I might be a delinquent but I’m not a fucking murderer and we are potentially responsible for murder no I’m not fucking alright I’m the asshole who lead a shit ton of thieves to take down this guy and possibly fucking kill him.

 **YK:** Akira, breathe.

 **YK:** What happened tonight was a tragedy. An unexplainable tragedy that none of us could have predicted.

 **YK:** I promise you, it is not your fault. We did everything the same and this has never happened before, so what happened tonight was not because of us. I don’t know what happened behind the scenes, or why, but this is not our fault.

 **YK:** We did not kill Okumura, you did not kill Okumura, and you are doing an incredible job as our leader. Staying strong doesn’t mean you have to power through it and endure everything that’s happening. Had that been the case, then I would still be under Madarame’s care tonight. Staying strong is recognizing something is wrong and trying to fix it, no matter what sort of obstacle is thrown at you. Sometimes you might fall down during this process, and you might be tempted to stay down. Don’t stay down. If you fall, then it’s okay. You just need to stand back up again and keep fighting.

 **YK:** You are the bravest fighter I have ever seen, both in battle and out of battle. You’ve been labeled a delinquent, a criminal, an outcast by society and yet here you are, leading a band of outcasts and actively trying to fix the corruptness in our world. Whatever you’re thinking about yourself, don’t. You are amazing and sometimes things get out of hand and are a little too much to handle. Don’t blame yourself for this.

 **AK:** I…

 **AK:** I’m sorry. I’m just… My head hurts so bad right now, ow.

 **YK:** Turn down the brightness on your phone, avoid bright lights, drink some water, take aspirin if you have some, get something to eat if you have not. It most likely won’t completely get rid of your headache but it should help a little. Try to get some sleep if you can.

 **AK:** Sorry for being so weak right now.

 **YK:** You’re not weak.

 **AK:** God, I miss you so much. What happened in front of the water tonight, that was… that was amazing. It’s too bad the conference ruined it.

 **YK:** The conference didn’t ruin it. Again, what happened was a tragedy that could not have been predicted, but everything before that was, well, perfect.

 **YK:** You are perfect. I don’t completely understand it or understand why I’m so drawn to you, but you’re everything I could ever want and more. I don’t regret what happened between us tonight.

 **AK:** I miss you. I wish you were here right now..

 **YK:** I wish I was, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here's this. I managed to pump most of this out in one writing session after I realized I would literally have no time tomorrow to finish it.  
> Some major bombs were dropped here, huh? Just for the record: I have no idea how to write kiss scenes so that's as good as it's ever going to get. Sorry about that but kissing is gross. Gonna be real here, compared to how it could have gone, this chapter isn't horrible but..it didn't turn out just as I had anticipated. I'll have to come back and do some heavy editing, but for now, though, this will have to do.  
> Yo I started a dp5gc discord server! Come join us, it's awesome!  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818  
> discord link: https://discord.gg/MpK5cDY


	33. gucci handcuffs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oracle: for when you want to do crimes in style  
> Oracle: or youre just really kinky idk :\

 

_October 12th 2017_

_7:40 am_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AK:** Uh.. hey. I just wanted to say, thank you for last night.

 **AK:** I just reread that conversation and, thanks. Sometimes, we all need a shoulder to lean on, and I appreciate you reaching out to me like that. Shit’s just getting really stressful, you know?

 **AK:** And well… Before all that shit happened. I guess at some point we should probably talk about what happened between us, right before the conference. I can’t begin to explain what was going through my mind there, but dammit it felt real nice. Not sure if you feel the same way.

 **AK:** But, yeah. I like you.

 **AK:** Not even that, it’s so much more than just “like” but I wouldn’t even know what else to call it. I have… really strong feelings for you. At first they were easy to ignore and just brush off but now you’re on my mind almost every waking moment, and it almost feels like…

 **YK:** Like everything isn’t going to hell right now? That, while the rest of the world may be turning against us, it doesn’t matter because I know that you’re still here?

 **AK:**...Exactly like that.

 **AK:** I guess… you feel it too?

 **YK:** Yes.

 **AK:** What does this make us?

 **YK:** I don’t know. What do you want it to make us?

 **AK:** I mean…

 **AK:** God, given all the shit going on right now, I don’t even know.

 **AK:** And it sucks because fuck, I want you so bad, but there’s so much bullshit going on and just… I don’t know.

 **YK:** You already have me, Akira.

 **YK:** Whatever happens, you won’t lose me.

 **AK:** Christ you’re good.

* * *

 

_October 12th 2017_

_3:50 pm_

 

**ryuji sucks at overwatch**

 

 **Queen:** Has anyone heard anything from Haru since last night?

 **Skull:** no

 **Panther:** no

 **Joker:** No..

 **Oracle:** no

 **Fox:** No.

 **Panther:** was she at school today?

 **Queen:** I didn’t see her, no.

 **Skull:** dammit…

 **Panther:** this sucks.

 **Joker:** Yep.

 **Skull:** futaba wats the media saying?

 **Oracle:** things arent looking good

 **Oracle:** people think we were the ones who killed them

 **Joker:** I talked to Mishima today. He said that media is mostly silent… for now.

 **Panther:** we did everything the same, right?

 **Skull:** wat went wrong here

 **Skull:** dammit it really pisses me off. we did everythin the exact same yet he still died. wat went wrong?!

 **Oracle:** what are we going to do

 **Fox:** I’m not sure there’s anything we can do, except try to prove our innocence. We did the exact same thing as always and yet somehow Okumura suffered for it.

 **Joker:** We need to lay low for now, at least until we can somehow prove that we didn’t do it. There’s no way we’re responsible for this, right?

 **Oracle:** jokers right all we can do is lay low

 **Fox:** If only there was something we could have done to prevent this..

 **Joker:** We can’t change the past now, all we can do is try to correct it and uncover the truth.

 **Joker:** Dammit… right now, I just want to sleep for the next few weeks. Maybe everything will have blown over, then.

 **Oracle:** yeah…

* * *

 

_October 12th 2017_

_11:39 pm_

 

**ryuji sucks at overwatch**

 

 **Noir:** My apologies for the absence. Everything is a little crazy on my end right now. I’m not quite sure how to feel about the Phantom Thieves or what went down there, but as of right now there’s not much else we can do.

 **Noir:** If it’s not too much of a bother, i would like to arrange a meeting for tomorrow. There’s some things that would be best if we were to discuss in person.

 **Queen:** Haru, welcome back. We’re glad to see you safe. Tomorrow we can most definitely hold a meeting and discuss the events that perspired last night if you would like.

 **Noir:** Thank you mako-chan. If we could meet tomorrow that would be nice.

 **Joker:** Sure thing, Haru. Whatever you need.

 **Noir:** Thank you.

* * *

 

_October 13th 2017_

_4:02 am_

 

**ryuji sucks at overwatch**

 

 **Oracle:** [ dmv.png ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/472608429911965709/478629730837331988/unknown.png)

**Fox:** I’m sorry?

 **Oracle:** [ gucci.png ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/472608429911965709/478630379796824064/unknown.png)

**Fox:** Futaba what does that even mean?

 **Oracle:** you cant steal the gucci treasure

* * *

 

_October 13th 2017_

_7:12 am_

 

**ryuji sucks at overwatch**

 

 **Oracle:** what the fuck does that mean

 **Fox:** What?

 **Oracle:** last night i woke up and for some reason those edits seemed… so important

 **Oracle:** and then i just passed out again

 **Fox:** I’m just surprised you slept last night.

 **Oracle:** thats more than you can say you were awake to respond to my edits :|

 **Fox:** Well, I suppose that’s true.

 **Fox:** What do those edits even mean?

 **Oracle:** i have no idea

 **Oracle:** they made perfect sense when i made them but now i have no idea

 **Fox:** Why can’t we steal the gucci treasure?

 **Oracle:** idk

 **Oracle:** did you know they make gucci handcuffs?

 **Fox:** What?

 **Oracle:** yeah ikr

 **Oracle:** [ handcuffs.jpg ](https://static.highsnobiety.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/11092651/gucci-handcuffs-grailed-65-thousand-01-480x288.jpg)

**Oracle:** 6500000 yen

 **Fox:** Why would you ever buy those?

 **Oracle:** for when youre really kinky and really high class ig

 **Fox:** So… Akira?

 **Oracle:** you say that like you know from experience

 **Oracle:** what have you been up to inari >:3c

 **Fox:** Painting and trying to figure out what my emotions are doing, as well as doing thief work which may or may not have just backfired on us.

 **Oracle:** well shit

 **Oracle:** you good inari?

 **Fox:** No. After everything with Okumura, absolutely not.

 **Oracle:** i mean

 **Oracle:** yea

 **Oracle:** that about sums it up

 **Oracle:** hey if you like the gucci handcuffs how about a supreme crowbar :3

 **Fox:** A what?

 **Oracle:** [ supreme.img ](https://stockx.imgix.net/products/streetwear/Supreme-Crowbar-Red.jpg?fit=fill&bg=FFFFFF&w=700&h=500&auto=format,compress&trim=color&q=90&dpr=2)

**Fox:** Why does that exist?

 **Oracle:** idk but its over 33000 yen

 **Fox:** Why would anyone buy that when you can get a normal crowbar for maybe 1000 yen?

 **Oracle:** for when you want to do crimes in style

 **Oracle:** or youre just really kinky idk :\

 **Fox:** That’s the problem, though. You can get any normal crowbar for relatively cheap, and if you’re using it for crimes the purpose is that you are trying to get _away_ with it.

 **Fox:** Even if you avoid getting fingerprints on it, if the police come to your door and search the house, the supreme crowbar is extremely flashy and very few people will have one. If you have a normal crowbar, however, other people are likely to have one and you’re more likely to get away.

 **Oracle:** woah

 **Oracle:** ok but how would they know a supreme crowbar was used instead of a new one?

 **Fox:** Someone may have spotted the bright red crowbar and called the police, or the red paint chipped and they found red paint at the crime scene.

 **Fox:** Either way a supreme crowbar is a waste of money and will just backfire.

 **Oracle:** when did you become a crime expert?

 **Fox:** When Madarame began plagiarizing and I was forced to keep quiet about it.

 **Fox:** When I became an actual criminal.

 **Fox:** When Akira pickpocketed an abusive mother in the middle of Inokashira Park, and later on changed her heart in Mementos.

 **Oracle:** wait what was that last one please explain

 **Fox:** We were at the park and there was a mother there with her son. She kept screaming at the child and grabbed him by the arm rather forcefully, so Akira stole her wallet. He now has her drivers license, social security number and all of the money she had on her.

 **Oracle:** …

 **Oracle:** leader of the phantom thieves everybody

 **Oracle:** stealing the hearts and wallets of the corrupt

 **Oracle:** you should have stolen madarames wallet

 **Fox:** In retrospect, I really should have.

 **Oracle:** “hey thanks for mentally fucking me over fuck you sensei your wallet is mine”

 **Fox:** If I had done that, maybe I wouldn’t be as broke as I am currently.

 **Oracle:** smh should have taken the corrupt artists wallet

 **Joker:** Hey guys what the fuck.

 **Oracle:** sup akira ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ

 **Oracle:** howd you learn to pickpocket

 **Joker:** The life of crime truly requires a lot of skill.

 **Joker:** Lock picking, pickpocketing, other things that have “pick” in the name apparently, looking like you belong in places you don’t, all that shit.

 **Fox:** Of course you would know about that..

 **Joker:** Shush you literally just critiqued the crime usage of a supreme crowbar.

 **Oracle:** yo if you guys liked the supreme crowbar…

 **Oracle:** meet the supreme brick >:3

 **Joker:** I’m sorry the what now?

 **Oracle:** [ brick-ayyyyy.jpg ](https://static.highsnobiety.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/17122429/supreme-brick-0.jpg)

**Fox:** Please don’t tell me that’s a real thing.

 **Oracle:** it is (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

 **Joker:**...You’re serious?

 **Oracle:** yep

 **Oracle:** apparently rn they go for over 5 million yen

 **Joker:**...What the fuck.

 **Oracle:** yep

 **Fox:** I’m sorry but who the actual fuck would buy that. They have bricks just outside the building just like that, that you can have for free.

 **Oracle:** GASP

 **Joker:** HE SWEAR

 **Fox:** Calm down. The two of you have said much worse.

 **Oracle:** i have only ever heard inari swear once and it was a surreal experience

 **Joker:** What.

 **Oracle:** i thought i had astral projected into hell or smth it was so weird

 **Joker:** Okay but he has a point.

 **Joker:** Who the fuck would spend that much for a single brick.

 **Oracle:** they used to be cheaper

 **Oracle:** but then they sold out and became super ultra rare or smth

 **Oracle:** so now theyre really pricey (✧ ͜ʖ✧)

 **Fox:** …

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Supreme™ Bricks_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** You good Yusuke?

 **Fox:** …

 **Fox:**...I don’t think I want to live on this planet anymore.

 **Joker:** SDLKJFLKDFGL;DSKFJH

 **Oracle:** inari

 **Oracle:** chill

 **Oracle:** thats so extra

 **Joker:** Futaba, you forget. He is the definition of extra.

 **Oracle:** you right

 **Joker:** Fuck alright class is starting.

 **Oracle:** cant you just ignore the lecture (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)

 **Joker:** Can’t. If I do he’ll throw chalk at me, insult me and then take my phone away.

 **Joker:** I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to take any chances. I may be a delinquent and a criminal, but I’m not dumb enough to use my phone during Ushimaru’s class.

 **Oracle:** ಠ_ಠ

 **Oracle:** alright just you and me inari

 **Fox:** Unfortunately I have to take my leave as well. Class starts in a moment.

 **Oracle:** (ಠ╭╮ಠ)

 **Oracle:** bitch i will hack your phone

 **Fox:** Do whatever you want, Futaba.

 **Oracle:** fine then ill change your ringtone to hentai moans and call you in the middle of class

 **Oracle:** or better yet ;3c

 **Oracle:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt2vm8_4_w0 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt2vm8_4_w0)

**Fox:** If that’s what you so desire, then I can’t stop you.

 **Oracle:** ugh fine

 **Oracle:** bye

* * *

 

_October 13th 2017_

_4:13 pm_

 

Haru was late.

Akira couldn’t say he was too surprised, given how much was going on over on her end, but he still couldn’t help but find it slightly ironic that she was the one who was late, even though she had called this meeting. A really dark, irritating sense of irony, but still irony nonetheless.

With the exception of the loud, drawn out speech coming from Ann’s phone speakers, Leblanc’s attic was almost dead silent, like a thick blanket had been laid across them. Akira still couldn’t get the memory of Okumura’s face out of his head. That face… right before he died. The thick strands of crimson leaking from every orifice, the milky whites of his eyes behind lenses smudged with droplets of blood, the strings of veins straining his scleras. Every time Akira shut his own eyes, that image haunted him.

Not only that, but the noises Okumura had made, right as the mental shutdown was taking place. High pitched, suffocated whines; a last attempt to call for help while all the air was ripped away from him. Noises that only dying rats could ever attempt to impersonate. Noises that Akira didn’t think he could ever unhear, no matter how hard he tried.

Futaba sauntered into Leblanc’s attic, her hands clasped delicately behind her back. Not unlike a security camera, she turned her head right, and then left, to intake her surroundings. “Hm? Where’s Haru?” She asked. The only one brave enough to voice the question on everyone’s mind.

Ryuji sighed and crossed his arms in annoyance. “She’s the one who called up, so eventually she’ll show up.” He leaned leisurely against the wall, between Akira’s desk and futon.

Ann briefly looked up from her phone. “Well, even though things have calmed down for the moment, she must be… occupied, with what happened to her father.” A heavy weight of sadness hung from her words. She turned her attention back to her phone, before letting out a quick intake of breath. “Wait, _what?!”_

Futaba stammered. She took a few quick steps towards Ann, before deciding against it and backing up a bit. If Akira had to guess, he would say it had something to do with her anxiety. He couldn’t exactly blame her. Part of him wished he knew how to handle it better.

“Wh-what’s up?” She sputtered.

Ann gripped her phone with an intensity strong enough to snap someone’s neck. They were lucky she didn’t have access to her whip. “People are talking online, saying that _we_ killed Okumura.”

Yusuke took his phone out of his pocket and began scrolling through it, most likely to check for himself. A stern look crossed his face. “So it’s begun already.”

Ryuji sent a glare in Yusuke’s direction. “What? What are you talking about? We didn’t kill him.”

“Think about it. The CEO collapsed the way he did, during a press conference that was caused by our group changing his heart.” Yusuke clicked his phone off in disgust.

Ann uncrossed her legs from where she sat in one of the upstairs chairs. She leaned over, propping her elbow against her thigh and her head against her fist. “They were raving about us so much, and now they treat us like murderers…” With every word, she sounded a little closer towards the verge of tears.

Futaba made a deep, throaty growl. “That’s a lightning fast change of attitude.”

Ryuji stepped forward. “They don’t know a damn thing about our current situation.” His hands were balled into fists at his side, as if preparing to deck someone square in the face. Punching someone wouldn’t help the situation, but Akira had to admit, at the given moment it would be nice to take out all his frustrations physically. Whether intimately or violently, it didn’t matter, just as long as it was all thrown out there. Maybe Ryuji had the right idea after all.

Makoto stood from the couch. “Calm down,” she reassured. Leave it to Makoto to attempt to act as the mediator. “Not everyone is necessarily saying that.”

“But there’s no way vindicate ourselves.” Yusuke replied coolly. Leave it to him to play devil’s advocate.

At that point, loud footsteps echoed throughout the attic, and in walked Haru.

Makoto was the first to react. “Haru.”

Haru nodded once at her. “I’m sorry I’m late,” For someone who had been flooded with all sorts of tasks and information for the past day or so, she spoke calmly and reassuringly. She spoke with the strength of a leader. “I’m the one who asked you all to make time for me, too.”

“My condolences. It must be rough.” Makoto approached Haru, a look all too familiar to Akira gleaming in her eye.

Haru took Makoto by the hands and gave her a quick squeeze. “I’m okay now,” She assured. “I called everyone together because there was something worrying me.” Haru took her hands away and spoke directly to the group, as if presenting a project or slideshow to a classroom. Her eyebrows knit together in a sudden seriousness. “Did you all target the principal?” For someone with such a soft voice, her words cut like knives. She sent a dagger straight through Akira’s heart with just the one sentence alone.

Everyone within the group jumped back. Even Yusuke, who was known to keep everything he was feeling to himself, couldn’t help but express some degree of shock.

“The principal? You mean… Principal Kobayakawa?” Ann faltered.

Haru nodded.

Morgana leapt from his place on Akira’s futon, right next to Akira, and padded over towards Haru. “What makes you say that?”

Haru sighed. She crossed her ankles over each other and averted her gaze before speaking. “Yesterday, a public prosecutor came to my home. Um… a woman named Niijima-san, I believe.”

Makoto made a noise like air being let out of a balloon. “That’s--”

Haru held up a hand to silence her. “I overheard her saying that a calling card was found in the principal’s office. Considering that this was right after it happened, it had to be Shujin’s principal.”

Akira mentally did a double take. They found a calling card in Principal Kobayakawa’s office? While they had been aware Kobayakawa suffered a mental shutdown, and it was obvious, at least to Akira, just how corrupt Principal No-Neck had been, he knew for a fact none of them had targeted him. Why was there a calling card there? Unless...

Ryuji sputtered in anger. “That’s the first I’ve heard of it!”

Makoto pressed a finger to her chin thoughtfully. “Doesn’t this all seem weird to you?” She hummed. “It may just be my imagination, but I feel as if things are escalating almost ‘too quickly’ after President Okumura’s incident. Far too quickly.”

“What do you mean?” Ryuji wondered.

“Perhaps we may have been set up by the real culprit.” Makoto hypothesized.

It took a moment for the news to settle over, followed shortly by a surprised “for real?” by Ryuji and a comment of “That could be..” from Futaba.

“If that’s the case, then we need to catch them as soon as possible.” Ann demanded.

She may have had a point, but Akira had to admit she was jumping the gun a bit on that one. They had no way of knowing who the culprit was, or just how to go about finding them. They didn’t know who they targeted or why, or who they were planning to target next.

Yusuke was the first to contradict Ann, and Makoto’s statements. “Hold a moment. Can we assume we’ve been set up, though? We don’t even know their objective.”

“What else are we supposed to do then?” Ryuji barked out.

“Okay, let’s all calm down for a moment,” Makoto interrupted. Good on her, getting involved before things got too out of hand. Lord knew Akira didn’t have it in him to do it himself. As much as he wished he could, he knew that that was the one ability he lacked in. “From what Haru said, even the police suspect that the Phantom Thieves are murderers. It wouldn’t be wise to carelessly make a move at the moment. As we said in the group chat the other night, we need to act as normal students for now. In addition, us Shujin students have midterms next week.”

Collectively half the group, Akira included, let out an exaggerated groan.

Ryuji hung his head low and scuffed at the hardwood floor with his sneaker. “For real? Exams at a time like this?” He sighed painfully. “I envy you, Futaba.”

Futaba visibly jumped, like a startled animal. “Hm? Uh, sorry. Got something on my mind. I’m gonna go home and look into it.” Before anyone could say anything, she whirled around and trotted down the stairs.

Makoto tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I wonder what that could be.” She shook her head, before turning to address the group once more. “At any rate, we need to behave and avoid drawing attention to ourselves. Understood?”

The rest of the group let out collective sighs and agreements before dispersing, leaving Akira alone with only his thoughts.

* * *

 

_October 13th 2017_

_4:39 pm_

 

**Yuuki Mishima → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **YM:** hey so i think there’s something you should see.

 **YM:** the phan-site is getting a lot less supportive.

 **YM:** numbers are dropping and a lot of comments against you guys are taking up the forums.

 **YM:** but i know you guys didn’t kill okumura. you’ll show them the truth, right?

* * *

 

_October 13th 2017_

_5:02 pm_

 

**Supreme™ Bricks**

 

 **Joker:** Well, according to Mishma, we’re drastically losing support from the phan-site…

 **Joker:** Go figure…

 **Fox:** Never could have figured that one out for ourselves.

 **Fox:** It’s not like we have been checking the phan-site and that’s been where we’ve been getting media input and seeing just how people currently feel about us from there.

 **Skull:** christ dude,,,

 **Skull:** u rlly hate mishima huh

 **Fox:** What gave you that impression.

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Okay we can talk about that later, but you guys should know that some of these comments are getting really… “spiteful.”

 **Fox:** Spiteful, how?

 **Joker:** “Should have known from the beginning the Phantom Thieves were planning something shady.”

 **Joker:** “Phantom Thieves are pieces of shit who should be thrown in jail.”

 **Joker:** Stuff like...that.

 **Oracle:** im seeing a lot of that too

 **Oracle:** “pts need to rot for their crimes”

 **Oracle:** “they betrayed us into believing theyre just but in reality we were just targets for them”

 **Oracle:** “phantom thieves should die just like okumura did”

 **Joker:** Yeah…

 **Queen:** This isn’t good.

 **Panther:** i just don’t understand

 **Joker:** Okay, hypothetically let’s say we’re being framed, right? So either someone really hates us and Okumura was just a tool, someone really hated Okumura and wanted him dead, or both.

 **Joker:** If I had to guess, I would say that someone wanted Okumura gone (that would make sense, given the ratings for him on the Phan-site before all of this happened), and wanted the Phantom Thieves to be made to look like they did it. Haru said they found a calling card in Principal No-neck’s office after he died, so judging by that, someone out there definitely wants us gone.

 **Fox:** What exactly are their motives, though? What reasoning could they have for framing us, or using us as a scapegoat?

 **Joker:** We can’t be too sure on that one, but there’s definitely people out there who want us arrested. Look at Akechi, for example. He’s been investigating us since Madarame.

 **Joker:** Either way, we can’t be too sure of anything. I know that none of us killed Okumura, but someone would have had to. We’ll have to be extra cautious from now on.

 **Skull:** gotcha

 **Queen:** Understood.

 **Oracle:** ok

 **Fox:** Okay.

 **Panther:** noted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written mostly in one night, was not proofread and I was high off sleeping pills so if you see any mistakes please let me know asap! Sorry how rushed this chapter is, hopefully I can get that fixed soon.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818  
> dp5gc discord server: https://discord.gg/cwBhAF7


	34. everyone gets fucking kinkshamed (and some gay shit happens i guess)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oracle: milk ;3  
> Skull: stop that  
> Joker: Hey guys what the fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: implied/reference anxiety, referenced mental health issues

_October 14th 2017_

_3:18 pm_

 

**Supreme™ Bricks**

 

 **Oracle:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXnJqYwebF8 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXnJqYwebF8)

**Skull:** wtf is that

 **Oracle:** just watch

 **Skull:** oh

 **Skull:** wat the hell

 **Oracle:** pfft

 **Skull:** i have,,,

 **Skull:** a lot of questions

 **Oracle:** >:3c

 **Skull:** wher did u find that

 **Oracle:** tumblr

 **Skull:** oh

 **Skull:** for real?

 **Oracle:** ye

 **Skull:** i was expectin u to say somethn weird tbh

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Oracle:** rude

 **Skull:** aight but wtf did i just watch

 **Oracle:** a masterpiece

 **Skull:** wtf is with the anime tiddies in the back like,,

 **Oracle:** milk

 **Skull:** if u want to convey milk anime tiddies with rlly bad jiggle physics arent the way to go

 **Oracle:** milk ;3

 **Skull:** stop that

 **Joker:** Hey guys what the fuck.

 **Oracle:** scroll up and watch the video i sent

 **Joker:** I don’t think I want to.

 **Skull:** dont do it akira

 **Oracle:** do it

 **Joker:** I’m watching it, chill.

 **Joker:** Woah.

 **Joker:** What the fuck is that.

 **Skull:** i warned u dude

 **Oracle:** >:3

 **Joker:** Hey Futaba?

 **Oracle:** yea

 **Joker:** Why do you feel the need to share this shit with us.

 **Joker:** I would have much rather you spammed me with more gross hentai again.

 **Skull:** wdym again

 **Joker:** She spammed me gross hentai and froze my phone. It was not fun.

 **Joker:** You know for someone who’s ace, you sure have a lot of porn Futaba.

 **Oracle:** you never know when youre going to need it

 **Skull:** wat does that even mean

 **Oracle:** ;3

 **Joker:** Okay but serious question what the fuck is that video.

 **Joker:** Does she think she’s clever? She literally stole from several different songs, and that’s not how a fucking green screen works.

 **Joker:** Why the hell is she trying to sexualize cows. That’s not sexy, it’s illegal.

 **Noir:** Technically beastiality is not illegal in japan however it’s not recommended.

 **Skull:** o hey haru

 **Joker:** Haru you are just full of legality facts aren’t you.

 **Noir:** Yes.

 **Joker:** Hey, how are you holding up?

 **Noir:** I’m fine. Things are still busy but at least i have some time to check the chat.

 **Oracle:** haru did you watch the video i sent

 **Joker:** Don’t do it, Haru.

 **Skull:** haru seriously dont

 **Noir:** I watched it.

 **Joker:** Haru, no.

 **Oracle:** what did you think ;3

 **Noir:** Hmm…

 **Noir:** I see what she was going for but it really just looks dumb. I’m sure she tried her best, and maybe with some more practice she could make something good.

 **Joker:** How are you always so positive?

 **Skull:** i have many questions bout that video

 **Skull:** y tf did she have fries up her nose wtf

 **Skull:** did she think that was attractive or smth

 **Joker:** Also don’t you try to uhh

 **Joker:** _Avoid_ calling girls cows?

 **Oracle:** yea

 **Oracle:** dont call a girl a cow unless you want to get suplexed in the scrotum

 **Noir:** I would avoid calling any girl a cow unless you have some sort of death wish!

 **Joker:** Yeah so uh…

 **Joker:** I mean I guess it’s okay to call yourself a cow but..

 **Skull:** dude shes tryin to sexualize the term or smth

 **Joker:** “Cow” isn’t sexy. Cows are not sexy. Cows are never going to be sexy and if you find them sexy please stay the hell away from me.

 **Joker:** _Cows are not sexy_.

 **Oracle:** ok you might be onto something there but consider

 **Oracle:** [ this ](https://getonfleek.com/product/french-fries-tracksuit/)

**Skull:** wtf

 **Joker:** Why is it so expensive what the hell.

 **Noir:** That is truly a statement.

 **Fox:** Futaba why do you feel the need to send the weirdest things to this chat.

 **Oracle:** yo inari did you see the video i sent

 **Fox:** I don’t think I want to.

 **Skull:** dude dont do it

 **Joker:** Yusuke, for the sake of your sanity, don’t click the link to that video.

 **Noir:** I don’t think you’ll like that video much yusuke-kun.

 **Oracle:** inari pls i sent that video specifically with you in mind

 **Fox:** I’ll pass on watching it.

 **Oracle:** inari

 **Oracle:** inari watch it

 **Oracle:** watch it or ill change your ringtone to fingers in his ass

 **Skull:** im sorry to wat

 **Oracle:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyzliDcLV2Q ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyzliDcLV2Q)

**Fox:** Do not.

 **Oracle:** watch the video

 **Fox:** Fine.

 **Joker:** Yusuke no.

 **Skull:** rip yusuke

 **Noir:** Oh my…

 **Joker:** Are we going to need to find a new Fox?

 **Skull:** prolly

 **Fox:** …

 **Skull:** he lives

 **Oracle:** what did you think

 **Fox:** That was awful.

 **Skull:** warned u dude

 **Fox:** I understand what she was attempting to go for with… that, but the aesthetics were complete garbage. I did better than that when I was two, and I could barely hold a crayon properly.

 **Fox:** Who thought it to be a good idea to have her wear a two piece cow costume. It looks like utter garbage and is only being held together by two strings in attempt to make her look “sexy” or “desirable”. She doesn’t look sexy, she looks like an idiot.

 **Fox:** Whoever directed this video clearly has zero knowledge of how green screens work. It looks completely fake, which while for the most part green screens look fake, usually there is at least _some_ effort put into it. Were the directors brain dead or something?

 **Fox:** Why is half of the video taken up by here sitting there and eating fast food? If she is using a cow as the main metaphor, then in eating ground beef that would just imply cannibalism, which is the complete opposite of what the vast majority of people find “desirable.”

 **Skull:** unless ur into vore

 **Noir:** Ryuji-kun…

 **Oracle:** skdhfskdkf

 **Skull:** someone had to say it

 **Fox:**...Which is why I said the vast majority. If you’re… into that, then there’s much bigger problems.

 **Oracle:** did inari just kinkshame

 **Skull:** damn dude

 **Joker:** aslkhdskld

 **Fox:** What lead her to decide to leave her hair down, with the exception of two small buns on the side to go with her horrendous cow outfit? Is it supposed to represent a cow’s horns? It just looks like someone stuck two tumors to the side of her head. Everything about her wardrobe choices are disgraceful and she should be ashamed.

 **Oracle:** what did you think about her denim bikini thing

 **Fox:** If that’s supposed to represent a farmer, she is in danger leaving so much of her skin exposed like that. It might be seen as “sexy” by some now, but the moment she approaches any animal she is in danger. Most farmers dress the way they do so that they can allow stains on their clothes while also being protected in case an animal bites/maims them in any way.

 **Joker:** The most sexy thing you can do is be safe. Safety first, kids.

 **Skull:** ^

 **Oracle:** and the sparkly thong?

 **Fox:** It looks like someone took an old children’s dress, ripped a piece of and attached two strands of thread to it. Not to mention, with how high up she’s wearing it, there’s a high chance of it getting caught on something.

 **Joker:** Ow…

 **Noir:** Oh dear. That wouldn’t be good.

 **Fox:** Why would you ever send me something as disgusting as that.

 **Joker:** Not going to lie, that rant is probably the gayest thing to ever happen in this chat.

 **Skull:** yusuke u sound like a gay fashion designer tbh

 **Fox:** Wrong. I’m a gay artist and the aesthetics in that video were horrid.

 **Skull:** close enough ig

 **Oracle:** in one word how would you describe that video

 **Fox:** Atrocious.

 **Joker:** Cursed.

 **Skull:** why

 **Noir:** Um…

 **Oracle:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

* * *

 

_October 15th 2017_

_9:17 pm_

 

**Supreme Bricks™**

 

 **Queen:** A reminder that exams start on the 17th. Please get in some study time beforehand.

 **Queen:** With the exception of Yusuke and Futaba. I’m not quite sure when Kosei’s exams are.

 **Fox:** They already happened.

 **Queen:** How’d you do?

 **Fox:** Not bad. I nearly failed math, but other than that I got decent enough scores.

 **Queen:** If you’d like, I could try to help you out with math. It’s a difficult subject and not everyone is that good at it.

 **Fox:** That would be appreciated. If it means anything, I’m not horrible at geometry. Everything else, though, is usually more difficult.

 **Panther:** ugh exams are the last things we need right now

 **Skull:** agreed

 **Queen:** Unfortunately it’s unavoidable. I know, given everything that just happened, it will be harder to concentrate this time around but please try your best.

 **Noir:** Good luck everyone!

 **Skull:** thnks haru

 **Panther:** thank you haru. good luck to you too!

 **Skull:** imma just go eat cold macncheese then 1v1 futaba in overwatch

 **Noir:** Why is the mac n cheese cold? Wouldn’t you want to heat it up first?

 **Skull:**  i would except its in a tin foil take out container nd i cant put that shit in the microwave

 **Queen:** Just transfer it to a microwave safe bowl, Ryuji.

 **Skull:** i would but i dont wanna

 **Skull:** ill just eat sad cold mac n cheese

 **Queen:** Ryuji, your laziness confuses me sometimes.

 **Panther:** heating it up would take all of 3 minutes but okay ryuji

 **Skull:** listen i dont have that kinda time stop yellin at me

 **Noir:** Ryuji wouldn’t you prefer warm mac n cheese? I find it best with cheese melting on top.

 **Queen:** At this point, I’m just thankful that it’s cooked, presumably not in a microwave.

 **Skull:** nah its leftover from when me n akira went to this pasta place

 **Skull:** but i have cooked mac n cheese in a microwave befor

 **Queen:** Of course you have.

 **Queen:** Regardless, you should at least try to study a little bit before exams.

 **Skull:** but i dont wanna

 **Queen:** Ryuji.

 **Skull:** makoto

 **Queen:** _Ryuji._

 **Skull:** _makoto_

 **Panther:** guys i think ryuji’s gonna die

 **Noir:** Hmm you might be right ann-chan

 **Fox:** Ryuji you are playing a very dangerous game.

 **Queen:** _ Ryuji. _

**Skull:** _makoto_

**Panther:** i can’t believe ryuji fucking died

 **Fox:** I can.

 **Skull:** wow :\ thanks yusuke

 **Queen:** @Oracle Ryuji unfortunately can’t play you in Overwatch tonight, he recently learned he has to study :)

 **Panther:** oh god

 **Noir:** I sense a lot of danger in that smiley face mako-chan.

 **Queen:** Oh trust me, there is danger in that smiley face.

 **Oracle:** understandable i can do something else

 **Skull:** futaba r u serious

 **Oracle:** makoto is threatening af ryuji

 **Oracle:** go be a good boy and study

 **Noir:** That sounds fairly sexual, futaba-chan.

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Oracle:** alright no

 **Oracle:** im kinkshaming

 **Skull:** i never said i was into that

 **Oracle:** doesnt matter still kinkshaming

 **Queen:** Ryuji. Fucking study.

 **Oracle:** she swear

 **Panther:** she swear

 **Skull:** she swear

 **Noir:** She swear?

 **Fox:** …

 **Queen:** Grow up, you all have said far worse.

 **Queen:** Except Haru, you’re doing great.

 **Panther:** makoto that’s really gay

 **Skull:** ann ur really gay

 **Panther:** shit you got me there

 **Oracle:** you know whos really gay

 **Panther:** who

 **Oracle:** inari

 **Fox:** Futaba why do you feel the need to do that.

 **Oracle:** (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

 **Oracle:** just know

 **Oracle:** whenever you think you have a private gay moment alone

 **Oracle:** with our leader

 **Oracle:** i

 **Oracle:** am

 **Oracle:** listening

 **Fox:** Normally I would be vaguely threatened but honestly at this point I don’t even care.

 **Skull:** dude r u serious

 **Skull:** even im threatened nd im not the one involved

 **Oracle:** dont worry ryuji im listening to you too

 **Skull:** ew

 **Queen:** Ryuji. Study.

 **Skull:** yes queen

 **Panther:** ha whipped

 **Skull:** shut

 **Noir:** Futaba-chan just how much information have you collected?

 **Oracle:** oh

 **Oracle:** a lot >;3

 **Noir:** As it should be.

 **Noir:** However, if i were you, i wouldn’t be announcing that i have dirt on them~

 **Oracle:** oh?

 **Oracle:** how would you do it wise one?

 **Noir:** Hmm i’d say just collect information, make sure it’s kept in a safe place and that all the information collected on various people is organized, and then use it to your advantage when the time is right! ^^

 **Oracle:** haru are you suggesting blackmail

 **Noir:** I wouldn’t say i’m _not_ suggesting blackmail.

 **Noir:** Use that knowledge however you please~

 **Oracle:** _holy shit_

 **Oracle:** _haru you are a saving grace_

 **Panther:** haru you are… honestly kind of terrifying

 **Haru:** As it should be!~

 **Skull:** damn the girls on this team r effin terrifying

 **Queen:** _Study,_

 **Skull:** hhhhhhhhhhh

* * *

 

_October 16th 2017_

_2:42 am_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AK:** Hey.

 **YK:** Hey.

 **AK:** You’re still up?

 **YK:** I couldn’t sleep. Although you’re one to talk.

 **AK:** I couldn’t sleep either. School tomorrow is going to be hell.

 **YK:** Yes, well, school was already hell.

 **AK:** That’s fair. At least your classmates don’t think you’re actually satan reincarnated.

 **YK:** That’s true, but the entire school knows me as “Madarame’s pupil.” You can see why I don’t appreciate that title much.

 **AK:** Fair. Madarame was the worst.

 **YK:** There are worse people out there but… Towards the end there, he was not the best person in the world.

 **AK:** That’s putting it lightly. He’s up there with Asshole Squidward and No-Neck the Second.

 **AK:** I mean makes sense given he was targeted in between Asshole Squidward and No-Neck Numero Dos.

 **YK:** Asshole Squidward? No-neck?

 **AK:** Kamoshida and Kaneshiro. I don’t have enough respect for them to use their actual names.

 **AK:** Other nicknames for Kaneshiro include “Horsefly” “Kaneshit” and “Fat Hitler.”

 **YK:** Clever. Have you given all of our targets nicknames?

 **AK:** Yes. Madarame is Rejected Picasso Bullshit.

 **YK:** It’s been awhile since you referred to him as that.

 **AK:** I’m surprised you remembered I called him that before.

 **AK:** Just for the record, Medjed is “Ghost with legs.”

 **YK:** What? Why?

 **AK:** After this thing:

 **AK:** [ghost-with-legs.jpg](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/018/827/Medjed.jpg)

 **AK:** That thing is apparently called “Medjed” so it fits.

 **YK:** Fair enough.

 **AK:** Okumura is Papa Smurf.

 **YK:** It works.

 **AK:** Hey, can I call you?

 **YK:** I suppose so. Any particular reason?

 **AK:** I just need to hear your voice right now.

* * *

 

_October 16th 2017_

_2:43 am_

 

Yusuke picked up on the second ring. “Hello?”

An overwhelming rush of relief surged through Akira. He laid back on the musty futon and ran a hand through a tangle of black curls. “Hey.”

“What can I do for you, Akira?” A thin layer of exhaustion crept into Yusuke’s voice.

“I don’t know, I just needed to hear your voice,” Akira admitted. His heart pulsed dangerously where it sat in his chest, quickening slightly in pace. “Just keep talking to me. Doesn’t matter what it’s about. What are you doing right now?”

“I was attempting to paint, but I might have to scrap this one.” Yusuke’s tone was hollow, almost like broken glass. Perhaps he and Akira were in the same states of unkept right now. Over text, he had seemed fine, but one could never tell just what was happening physically over text. That was a major problem Akira had come to find.

Akira could only picture Yusuke right now; slightly disheveled blue hair, black roots definitely showing a bit, the buttons on the front of his white uniform shirt undone with the sleeves rolled up, revealing a black undershirt. Paint was probably everywhere. Soft flecks of paint probably covered bits of his skin, his arms and hands, maybe staining his pants a bit too. There was probably paint on his face, too. Perhaps a swipe of paint going across his forehead, from rubbing it with the back of his hand. He probably wasn’t aware of it, but would find it later. Akira wondered what colors he was using. Cool colors, maybe. Blues, purples, greys, whites. There could be a few streaks of color across the canvas, as well. Akira imagined it was mostly blank, with a few dark splashes of color here and there. Maybe somewhere there was a flash of red or a light blue.

“You sound exhausted.” Akira noted.

Yusuke made a noise of agreement. “I could say the same about you.”

“Yeah, well,” Akira sighed. “Anxiety tends to do that to a person. Just more emotional bullshit, right?”

“Is that why you called me?”

“Something like that.” Akira rolled over onto his side, careful not to disturb the sleeping form of Morgana curled up by the foot of his bed. “You know when you just can’t stop thinking? And like, you know you shouldn’t be thinking about that and that you’re going down a very dangerous path, but you still can’t stop thinking. And thinking about it hurts physically and mentally, and your chest is tight and you can hardly breathe, and it just feels like no matter what you can never do anything right?”

“And your head starts hurting, and your body can’t stop shaking, and somewhere inside you just want the world to stop spinning for just a moment. You just want everything to stop, but you don’t know what you want to stop. Maybe your mind, maybe just everything, but you just want it all to stop. You want everything to stop, and something inside is yelling at you for everything, and a sharp mental ache is just getting more and more intense with each passing moment. You know you have to stop thinking, but you physically cannot?” Yusuke commented. His voice cracked slightly.

“...Exactly like that.”

“Yes, I know what that’s like all too well,” He paused a moment. “I felt that every single day while living with Madarame.”

“Fuck, Yusuke, are you okay?” The words slipped from Akira’s mouth before he could stop them.

There was another brief pause, and something like a quick intake of breath. “Honestly?”

Akira nodded, before tacking on a soft “yes.”

“I’m not sure I even know what it means to be ‘okay.’” Light static echoed through the receiver.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Akira offered. “Sometimes talking makes it a little easier to deal with.”

“Not particularly, no.”

“That’s fine, too. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want. Just know, that no matter what happens, I’m right here. I don’t plan on going anywhere.” Akira promised. Something inside him began to softly chip away. Part of him wished he could only see Yusuke in person.

“I appreciate that. Thank you, Akira.”

Another beat of silence. It was almost deafening, really. Akira was the first to break it.

“So… about Okumura.” The words were bitter.

“It’s been nearly a week.”

“That it has.” It may have been a week, but Akira could still remember it like it was hardly an hour ago. “What do you think about all of… this.”

“We should have known something was wrong about it. Why would so many people want us to change his heart in the first place?” Yusuke hissed. “Then again, we didn’t exactly have a choice.”

“I can only imagine how Haru’s doing right now. She seems so strong and so optimistic, all the time. How does she do it? Surely it’s eating her up inside, right?” Akira bit his lip.

A noise, like that of something clattering to the ground sounded through the phone. Yusuke muttered something unintelligible under his breath.

“But, um, not just about Okumura. What happened that night. With us.” Akira managed to choke out. “You don’t regret it, do you?”

“No. The time spent with you is probably the only thing I can say with certain that I do not regret in the slightest.” Yusuke spoke with a calm confidence. Akira could feel his stomach tying itself into knots. “Why? Do you?”

“No. If I’m being honest here, I wish we had more time before it all went to hell.” Like a valve was opened, all the contents of Akira’s heart came flooding out. “I love being with you. You’re so unique and the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about something you’re passionate about makes my heart melt. Watching you work always leaves me feeling warm and fuzzy because you’re just so focused. Part of me wants to lean over and kiss you and see if you’d notice but the other part of me just wants to sit and watch. You’re so attractive, like damn when Ann said you were a pretty boy she was not wrong, and the way you’re able to stay calm in even the most dire of situations and just. Fuck. I don’t know. I’ve had strong feelings for you for a while, but I have no idea what the hell to do with them.”

Yusuke said nothing at first, as if letting all that information process. Finally, he responded. “You really think all of that?”

“Yeah. I do.”

Yusuke chuckled. “You know, I didn’t realize how right you were when you referred to it all as ‘emotional bullshit.’”

“What?”

“I’m not quite sure I’m ready to spell it all out for you, but I think I know what you mean.”

“Wait. Are you rejecting me?” The knife in Akira’s gut twisted ever so slightly.

“No. Quite the opposite, in fact.”

“Are you saying that you...feel the same way?” His eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“Yes. Something like that, anyway.”

“So… does this mean I can date you now?” Akira dug his nails into the palm of his hand in anticipation. “Or… you know. Will you go out with me?”

“I would love that.”

And just like that, the vine of thorns that had been curling around his heart since the very beginning, finally began to uncurl itself. It took every ounce of willpower to avoid screaming like a giddy school girl. “Fuck um. Okay. So guess your my boyfriend now?”

“Whatever you want me to be.”

“Cool uh. Boyfriend. Please.”

“Okay. Boyfriend, then.”

The call ended soon after. Akira placed his phone on his shelf and rolled onto his back, a smile painting his face. The muscles by his mouth ached slightly. He couldn’t remember the last time he smiled like that.

“It’s about time you nerds got together.”

Akira jumped. Morgana shot him a look of annoyance from the foot of the bed. “Your constant pining was starting to get annoying. ‘Yusuke’ this and ‘Yusuke’ that.” He crawled over to Akira and plopped down on his chest. “Can we go to sleep now?”

“Did I wake you?” Akira asked. He reached over and scratched Morgana under his chin. Morgana batted his hand away with a paw.

“I woke up when you pushed me away. Can we please go to sleep?”

“Sure.”

* * *

 

_October 17th 2017_

_4:56 pm_

 

**Supreme Bricks™**

 

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_depression nap 2: electric boogaloo_ ** _~_

 **Skull:** and so it begins..

 **Joker:** I had my math exam today and can I just say… pemdas… please eat my damn ass sir…

 **Skull:** dude wtf

 **Joker:** No my brain is fried.

 **Panther:** middle of the exam he just started giggling. i love you akira but never in my life have i wanted to backhand you harder.

 **Joker:** Listen… pemdas. Please eat my damn ass sir.

 **Panther:** you mean you at shadows?

 **Joker:** No Ann, I want to eat the shadows’ asses.

 **Fox:** Why would you ever want that some of those shadows are just disgusting.

 **Joker:** :(

 **Oracle:** yeah akira why would you want to eat their asses when you could just eat your boyfriends ass instead

 **Panther:**!!!

 **Joker:** Not a bad idea.

 **Fox:** No.

 **Joker:** Nevermind guess I’ll stick to shadows.

 **Fox:** …

 **Fox:** And suddenly I am once again single.

 **Joker:** Wait no

 **Panther:** “boyfriend” excuse??

 **Panther:** when did this happen????

 **Joker:** Uhhh like two gays ago at like three in the morning.

 **Joker:** *days

 **Joker:** Actually you know what gays works too.

 **Queen:** While this is endearing and all, you are aware you have more exams tomorrow, right?

 **Joker:** Fuck.

 **Panther:** fuck

 **Skull:** fuc

 **Oracle:** have fun suffering

 **Joker:** Thanks gremlin sister love you too

 **Oracle:** :)

 **Panther:** sister?

 **Joker:** Listen she’s basically a little sister to me in every way except by blood.

 **Oracle:** tfw somehow you get a boyfriend and sister over the course of two days

 **Joker:** You were my sister the moment you dragged me to Akihabara with you.

 **Oracle:** you right you right

 **Queen:** Again, we have more exams tomorrow. Please try to make time tonight to study.

 **Oracle:** akira just went “please eat my damn ass sir” in a really sad voice and honestly thats a mood

 **Skull:** kinkshaming

 **Joker:** Rude.

 **Fox:** That is the longest sentence you have ever typed, Futaba.

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Oracle:** shut it inari

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright here it is. It's not proofread we die like men here. If you see any mistakes let me know.  
> Shout out to the dp5gc discord for giving me suggestions for what to do with this chapter. This one is mostly filler but as you can see some pretty big bombs were dropped this chapter. Well, one bomb. The canon bomb. It's about fucking time these nerds got together. Yes I Can Write Romance I Promise. Sorry Haru was mostly brushed over this chapter. I promise, I have some plans for her, but as of right now this is all we got. I have some stuff planned for all of them eventually.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818  
> dp5gc discord server: https://discord.gg/cwBhAF7


	35. mistakes are made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: Mayhaps.  
> Skull: u stop that

_October 19th 2017_

_10:03 pm_

 

**depression nap 2: electric boogaloo**

 

 **Oracle:** this chat has been dead for days where are you guys

 **Joker:** Dying. It’s exam season remember.

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Oracle:** im bored

 **Joker:** Hi bored I’m dead.

 **Oracle:** oh my god

 **Oracle:** nevermind youre dead to me

 **Oracle:** friendship ended with akira

 **Oracle:** inari is my new best friend

 **Joker:** Wow rude.

 **Oracle:** no but for real though uh theres something weird going on with the phan site

 **Joker:** Wait what?

 **Oracle:** yeah

 **Oracle:** im looking into it rn but this might take some time

 **Joker:** What’s wrong with the phan site?

 **Oracle:** not sure yet

 **Joker:** Should I ask Mishima about it?

 **Oracle:** no

 **Oracle:** he wouldnt know anything about it

 **Oracle:** its strange though

 **Joker:** Strange how?

 **Oracle:** someone was doing something with the code

 **Oracle:** someone who wasnt mishima

 **Oracle:** yeah i have to look into this more

 **Oracle:** if i find anything ill let the group know

 **Joker:** How do you know it wasn’t Mishima?

 **Oracle:** hh cant explain it now

 **Oracle:** i need to look into this right now

 **Joker:** Futaba? What’s going on?

 **Joker:** Futaba?

 **Joker:** Dammit she’s gone.

 **Panther:** are you serious? something weird is happening now?

 **Joker:** Apparently..

 **Panther:** but...exams…

 **Panther:** the timing has never been worse

 **Joker:** That’s just our luck.

 **Joker:** Gotta love the bullshit that comes with this :))

 **Joker:** No use complaining about it I guess.

 **Panther:** at least give us time for a nap in between

 **Joker:** I want to see the pretty art boy I miss him.

 **Panther:** calm down you’ll see him soon

 **Panther:** i haven’t seen shiho in almost three weeks… i’ve been so caught up in thief stuff

 **Joker:** Hey how is Shiho anyway? I didn’t have a lot of time to get to know her at Shujin and haven’t seen her since before she moved.

 **Panther:** yeah, not since the rooftop with her. she was thankful for your support there

 **Joker:** Anything for you guys. You’re my friend and she clearly means a lot to you.

 **Panther:** to answer your question, she’s doing good. her new school is treating her well, she’s been smiling and laughing a lot more lately, she seems much happier i guess

 **Panther:** she’s recovered nicely since… that. she still has a slight limp and will probably always have it, but she’s staying positive and just doing her best.

 **Joker:** Wow. She’s a role model.

 **Panther:** isn’t she? she’s so strong and somehow she’s always so optimistic. i envy her.

 **Joker:** We should get some advice from her sometime. Could use a bit of optimism.

 **Panther:** i don’t know how she does it. she’s amazing isn’t she?

 **Joker:** She really is. Next time you see her, tell her I said hi?

 **Panther:** will do. hopefully i get to see her soon.

 **Panther:** but what’s up with the phan site? futaba seemed pretty intense there

 **Joker:** No idea but it sounds serious. She’s looking into it right now and will tell is if/when she finds something.

 **Joker:** She might be a gremlin sometimes, but she’s dedicated. If anything is wrong, she’ll let us know asap.

 **Panther:** i know. i trust her.

 **Joker:** In other news, how were exams?

 **Panther:** ugh

 **Joker:** Yeah..

 **Panther:** i know makoto said to stay focused and everything but i couldn’t

 **Panther:** this one was a tough one for me

 **Joker:** Same here. I think I did okay but it’s not my best work.

 **Panther:** ryuji looked like death afterwards. i’ve never seen him so torn apart

 **Joker:** Can’t say I blame him.

 **Panther:** i’m gonna go pass out. i’m exhausted.

 **Joker:** ‘Night Ann.

 **Panther:** night

* * *

 

_October 20th 2017_

_12:00 am_

 

**depression nap 2: electric boogaloo**

 

 **Oracle:** hideout

 **Oracle:** after school

 **Oracle:** tomorrow

 **Oracle:** i found something

* * *

 

_October 20th 2017_

_4:04 pm_

 

“Congratulations on surviving midterms.”

Futaba stood in the center of Leblanc’s attic with her hands clasped delicately behind her back. The other thieves sat around the table, eagerly awaiting to hear what she had discovered. Something about the phan-site had felt..off. At least since the voting feature had been added. Since then, it had been removed from the site. In retrospect, allowing a feature like that had been a terrible idea and part of her just wished she could have realized that sooner. While they couldn’t change the past, perhaps they could at least try to correct it in the future.

Ryuji stretched, his back cracking in the process. “I think I’m screwed for real this time. I couldn’t concentrate at all…”

Ann nodded and let out a soft groan. “Yeah… I tried really hard but it was so hard to focus.” She leaned forward in her seat to look at Ryuji, practically leaning across Akira.

Akira lightly pressed two fingers to her shoulder and pushed her back. “More importantly, what is this you wanted to discuss, Futaba?”

Leave it to Akira to steer them back on topic, Futaba supposed. She had never seen him quite so serious yet eagar. For someone who showed very few emotions, he managed to get his mood across pretty well. She didn’t completely understand it.

Haru nodded. She crossed one leg over the other and looked up at Futaba with innocent, doe like eyes. “You said something was on your mind before. Were you able to figure out what it is?”

Futaba was almost able to buy that Haru was innocent. Almost. She had seen Haru with an axe in her hand and quite frankly, it was terrifying. For someone so seemingly soft, Haru was ruthless. Then again, it seemed all of them had some sort of facade or, for lack of a better term, “persona” they put on when in the Metaverse. Joker, especially. Futaba considered Joker and Akira to be two very different people, even if they were the same person. Joker was sadistic, cruel and lacked hesitation. He was fierce. Silent, but deadly. He was a force to be reckoned with. Akira, on the other hand, lead with a firm but guiding hand. He was playful at times, but when it was time to be serious he was _serious._ For the most part, Futaba could hardly register that they were different people. Of course, every facade had its cracks, and sometimes bits of Joker would show up in reality, or Akira in the Metaverse. Those moments were surreal.

“The Medjed that I banned… wasn’t the real one.” Futaba lightly scuffed at the wooden floor with the toe of her boot.

Various expressions of confusion crossed everyone's faces. Ryuji was the first to verbally express his confusion. “Aren’t you the real one, though?”

_Shit._

Right. Futaba had been the original creator of Medjed. Perhaps that specific choice of words had been poor on her decision. Words were difficult, sometimes. If the scenario was a dating sim, she would have just picked the wrong option.

“Uhh…” She muttered to herself. “The guy who called himself Medjed after me isn’t the one from the other day.” Not the most graceful response, but it got the point across. “The code written by that guy from back then was different then the code of any of the past Medjed.”

Ryuji raised an eyebrow. “And that means…?”

Futaba made a few vague hand gestures. “A code is like your fingerprints. No matter how you try to disguise it, your own quirks appear in it. Every code is always just a little different, and each programmer has their own way of coding things. The one from the other day was all… cut and pasted with no consistency. No skill at all.”

Makoto spoke softly but executively from where she sat next to Ann. If it weren’t for Akira’s leadership and Morgana’s input, Futaba would have thought Makoto was the one in charge. She managed to keep things in line, most of the time. “But aren’t multiple people all across the world part of Medjed? Could it have been done by someone who joined recently?”

Futaba shook her head. Makoto, while she made a valid point, was very wrong in that sense. She didn’t completely understand how it all worked. She had her own strengths and weaknesses, Futaba presumed.

“How do I put it… That code was not done by anyone interested in cracking. At all. At the very least, there’s no way they’re an official part of Medjed.”

“So someone used the Medjed name to provoke the Phantom Thieves?” Yusuke questioned. “For what purpose?”

Inari was… interesting. Originally Futaba hadn’t gotten along with him too well. They were different people with very different interests. Well, at least that’s what she had thought. While they had different interests, they were a little more similar than she had suspected. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but something about him reminded her a bit of herself. Right after Akira, she probably felt most comfortable around him. Maybe it had something to do with how much Akira trusted him, or maybe it was just the fact that during times of crisis he managed to keep a level head. Back at Destinyland, when she had been in the midst of a panic attack, she had found herself clutching his side. Something about him just made her feel safe. He was strange, yes, but Futaba didn’t mind it. Not that she would ever admit to that out loud.

Ann twirled the end of one of her pigtails. “Could they have been doing it for fun?” She asked with a shrug “It was around the time our group started getting popular, so maybe they just wanted in on the hype.”

Makoto straightened her spine. “Wait a moment.” Something had apparently clicked. “What if it’s the other way around?” When the room went dead silent, she apparently took that as her cue to continue. “What if they used the Medjed name to make the Phantom Thieves more known.”

“What? That makes no sense.” Ryuji squawked.

So it seemed Makoto was on the same page as Futaba. Makoto caught on fast.

“I actually thought the same as Makoto,” Futaba said with a slight smirk. “Know how I just said that code is like fingerprints? I found those same fingerprints somewhere completely different.”

“Where’s that?” Yusuke asked.

Futaba waited a moment, to give it special effect, before stating “The Phantom Aficionado Website,” She began pacing a bit, recollecting all the pieces of data she had collected the other night. Something was visibly wrong, and after a couple long hours she had somehow pieced it together. “There were traces of it being illegally tampered with from the outside. Before summer vacation, the access counter was made to be much higher than the actual number. Same with the rankings. Particularly the time when President Okumura ranked first.”

Haru considered this a moment. “So then… the one who provoked the group is the same person as the one who tampered with the site?”

Makoto pressed her fist under her chin thoughtfully. “Both Medjed’s provocation and the tampering of the website brought attention to us as a result. On top of that, our reason for targeting Okumura was influenced by the public _and_ the rankings. The perfect timing, and the perfect target. If both of those had been set up…”

“...It would all make sense.” Yusuke finished.

Ann tapped her fingers against the top of the table. “Wait, so the culprit was planning to put the blame on us from the start? No way…”

Makoto held a hand up in reassurance. “This is all hypothetical. We lack any hard evidence.”

Morgana sat up from where he had been resting on Akira’s futon. “But if all your deductions happen to be correct, that would mean we’ve been playing right into their hands for the past two months or so.”

“We gotta be overthinkin’ things, right?” Ryuji sounded almost desperate. “I mean, we’re talkin’ both the rankings and Medjed. Everyone made a big deal about it. If this was all set up then…” He rubbed the back of his neck, a pained look on his face. “Just what kinda guy did we make an enemy of?”

The anxiety had clearly washed over everyone, just as it had Futaba when she discovered the correlation between Medjed and the rankings. Who was behind it all, and why? It made no sense, but at the same time, it made too much sense.

“There’s no point getting anxious over speculation. Regardless, we’ll be falsely charged with murder at this rate. We have to overcome this.” Yusuke spoke steadily.

Haru bit her bottom lip softly. “But we don’t even know who we’re up against.”

Ryuji crossed his leg over his knee and tugged awkwardly at the sleeve of his uniform jacket. “Hey, you think we’re fallin’ into another trap?” Panic coated his every word.

Akira placed a hand on his shoulder in reassurance. “Ryuji, calm down. We can’t be certain yet, but there’s no way they could be that far ahead of us.”

Futaba made a nervous finger gun at him. “Right. The guy who tampered with the site is clearly an amateur at best, so there’s no way he could have known we would have figured it out this quickly.”

Morgana flicked his tail. “Yeah. This doesn’t mean that we’ve lost yet.”

Makoto tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear. “Even if this is the actions of a meticulous enemy, we’ll just have to get back at them. We need to find clues, no matter what.”

* * *

 

_October 21st 2017_

_7:20 am_

 

**depression nap 2: electric boogaloo**

 

 **Noir:** So i was thinking about our metaverse costumes. They seem nice and are rather adorable, but in practicality some of them seem a little dangerous.

 **Panther:** tell me about it.

 **Panther:** my tail gets caught in every door, i have tripped over it several times, and i’m expected to fight in heels

 **Panther:** it sucks

 **Noir:** At the very least you look amazing while fighting!

 **Panther:** that’s just because i’ve had a lot of practice. the castle was very long and there were a lot of stairs, so all i could really do was power through

 **Panther:** although what’s not fun is getting your tail stuck in literally every single door. i’m sure yusuke knows exactly how i feel

 **Panther:** @fox does your tail get caught in everything too?

 **Fox:** Yes.

 **Fox:** Futaba also makes it a habit to randomly grab my tail at times.

 **Oracle:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Oracle:** i would say im sorry but im really not

 **Oracle:** your tail is really fluffy

 **Fox:** A little warning would be nice.

 **Oracle:** nah

 **Panther:** god this one time in kaneshiro’s palace i was the last one to leave a safe room and the door closed on my tail. i got yanked back really hard and fell flat on my ass.

 **Noir:** That sounds painful! Are you okay ann-chan?

 **Panther:** i’m fine now but at the time it hurt a lot.

 **Panther:** i also fell right where the tail connects to my body suit and that in itself is not fun

 **Oracle:** damn i wish i could have seen that

 **Panther:** what’s worse is ryuji and akira just laughed at me

 **Panther:** makoto was nice enough to help me up and yusuke opened the door for me, but those two assholes just sat back and laughed

 **Skull:** in my defense all we heard was a loud yell n when we looked back u were just on the floor with ur tail in a door

 **Joker:** I’m not sorry.

 **Panther:** you’re both assholes

 **Skull:** let’s not forget the time joker effin faceplanted into the floor while tryin to do a backflip

 **Noir:** Really? Joker always seems so graceful and light on his feet.

 **Joker:** Yeah that kinda happens when you’ve been doing gymnastics your entire life.

 **Oracle:** you do gymnastics? (⚆ _ ⚆)

 **Joker:** Yeah. For years I took classes but eventually that stopped. Afterwards I just kept practicing. Didn’t think I’d ever really need it, other than to show off occasionally.

 **Panther:** are you kidding all you do is show off. there is literally no reason to backflip onto a shadow’s shoulders and rip the mask off but you do that anyways.

 **Joker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Panther:** you’re so extra you know that

 **Joker:** Mayhaps.

 **Skull:** dude dont do that

 **Joker:** Mayhaps.

 **Skull:** ur dead to me

 **Oracle:** when did akira faceplant and why didnt i see this

 **Skull:** p sure it happened in ur palace futaba

 **Skull:** he also rolled of one of the tables in the saferoom for the sake of a joke

 **Joker:** That was great.

 **Oracle:** ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

 **Oracle:** did my shadow at least see it?

 **Skull:** maybe?

 **Joker:** Mayhaps.

 **Skull:** u stop that

 **Fox:** Akira, didn’t you break your nose after falling face-first into the ground?

 **Joker:**...Maybe

 **Skull:** pfft

 **Panther:** ok thats actually kinda funny

 **Joker:** Shut up it hurt.

 **Panther:** so didn’t falling flat on my ass what’s your point

 **Oracle:** cant believe your own boyf outed you akira

 **Joker:** Trust me, I was outed a long time ago.

 **Panther:** that’s gay

 **Joker:** You’re gay.

 **Panther:** you got me there.

 **Skull:** sigh

 **Noir:** That sounds like it hurt, akira-kun. Some of these metaverse outfits are dangerous.

 **Skull:** u want stories about our outfits screwing us stories? we got a ton of stories.

 **Joker:** There was the time Queen’s scarf got caught in the wheel of Johanna, the time a shadow decided to grab Skull’s abscot and he nearly choked, Fox’s tail in general, the time Panther tripped over her tail while going down a set of stairs…

 **Noir:** Oh my. That’s pretty dangerous.

 **Panther:** there’s the time skull’s belts got caught on one of the random branch things they have in mementos sometimes, the time the tails of joker’s coat got stuck in the safe room door when entering a safe room, the sheer amount of times a shadow has tried to play with fox’s tail…

 **Panther:** you know what just tails in general.

 **Fox:** They might be aesthetically pleasing but in practice they just get in the way.

 **Panther:** i’ll have to disagree with the aesthetics part but they do get in the way a lot

 **Oracle:** wow cant believe inari is really a furry

 **Fox:** I’m ignoring that comment.

 **Oracle:** i got lucky with my costume heheh >:3

 **Joker:** Maybe so but that doesn’t change the fact that you always hit the gargoyle on top of Necronomicon against low ceilings and it scares you _every single time._

 **Oracle:** _shut up it echoes inside necronomicon and is really startling_

 **Noir:** Aww, i’m sorry futaba-chan. That sounds awful.

 **Noir:** I’ve lost my hat a couple of times but other than that, everything has been okay for me.

 **Joker:** Haru you truly are the lucky one of all of us.

 **Noir:** I’m not quite sure about that one. My belt has almost gotten caught a few times and a shadow tried to steal my hat at one point. I’m sure it would have looked just adorable on him, but that is my hat and would much rather he have asked to try it on.

 **Oracle:** WAIT DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THAT TIME AKIRA TRIED TO FLIP ONTO A SHADOW

 **Oracle:** AND HIS COAT WENT OVER HIS HEAD AND GOT ALL TANGLED

 **Oracle:** AND HE LITERALLY COULDNT SEE SHIT AND WAS JUST FLAILING ON THE SHOULDERS OF A RANDOM SHADOW

 **Skull:** PFFT I REMEMEBR THAT

 **Skull:** I LITERALLY COULDNT BREATHE I WAS LAUGHIN SO HARD

 **Panther:** “rememebre”

 **Skull:** sssshut

 **Joker:** It’s not bully Akira hours let’s not do this.

 **Oracle:** yo inari thats your man

 **Fox:** I’m aware.

 **Fox:** Not his most graceful moment, I will admit. I still don’t understand how he managed to get the ends of his coat over his head in the first place.

 **Joker:** Shh

 **Joker:** You know you love me <3

 **Fox:** I’m not sure if “love” is the word I would use.

 **Joker:** Wow okay rude.

 **Panther:** oh right it’s “lust” right akira?

 **Joker:** Ann you’re my friend and all but shut the fuck up.

 **Panther:** no u

 **Joker:** Well shit.

 **Skull:** uhhh wats goin on here?

 **Joker:** Don’t worry about it.

 **Queen:** All of you should put your phones down and get to class. Need I remind the Shujin students that there are police officers positioned around the school and we are all going to be sent in for questioning today. On top of that, the school festival is soon and students are voting on who they’d like as a guest speaker. As student council president it’s my job to count the ballots, and I will need all of your help. Keep your head down, try to raise as little suspicion as possible and don’t say anything unnecessary. Understood?

 **Noir:** Of course. Sorry mako-chan.

 **Skull:** yes queen

 **Joker:** Yes Queen.

 **Panther:** yes queen

 **Oracle:** woah you guys are being questioned by the cops?

 **Queen:** Yes. Unfortunately the Phantom Thief incidents tie back to Shujin, given who the first target was, and after what happened with Okumura, well..

 **Oracle:** oh shit good luck

 **Queen:** Thank you, Futaba.

* * *

 

_October 22nd 2017_

_3:40 pm_

 

**Ryuji Sakamoto → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **RS:** hey man i kno this is kinda a weird question but ive been wonderin bout it for a bit

 **YK:** Okay. Is something the matter?

 **RS:** no?

 **RS:** im not gonna judge u or anythin just so u kno

 **RS:** we all have our fair share of kinks ig so its not like u r the only one into weird shit

 **YK:** What are you talking about?

 **RS:** its uh

 **RS:** bout that thing i saw u drawin in ur sketchbook the other day

 **YK:** You’re going to ask something weird, aren’t you?

 **YK:** You’ll have to be more specific. Which sketch are you referring to?

 **RS:** it looked like a lizard in a dress or smth

 **RS:** is that ur scalesona?

 **RS:** dude r u a scaley?

 **RS:** i kno weve been makin jokes since the beginning cuz of the tail n everythin but r u actually a furry?

 **YK:** No, I’m not a scaley or a furry. I was drawing that because Futaba asked me to draw a velociraptor in a dress for some reason. She offered a reasonable amount of money, and I’m currently broke.

 **RS:** ok

 **RS:** so its not a weird kink?

 **YK:** No.

 **RS:** alright but wat about pregnant freddy fazbear? u were drawin that in mementos a little while ago nd… i still have yet to unsee that

 **YK:** That was also a commission.

 **RS:** so u dont have a pregnancy kink

 **YK:** No.

 **RS:** or an animatronic kink?

 **YK:** No.

 **RS:** its not a weird sex thing?

 **YK:** Not a fetish.

 **YK:** You are aware I’m asexual, correct?

 **RS:** u are?

 **YK:** I believe so? It’s complicated.

 **RS:** hows it complicated?

 **RS:** isnt it like u either do or dont feel aroused?

 **YK:** It’s not that simple. Yes, asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction but there’s different types. I’m not entirely sure where I lie.

 **RS:** i got u

 **RS:** idrk about all this stuff but it dont sound to easy to deal with

 **RS:** just kno that it dont matter too much and ur sexuality/identity doesnt strictly define u

 **YK:** Right. Thank you.

 **RS:** nd ig sometimes things change nd it can take a while to figure urself out

 **YK:** That’s true, I suppose. Thank you.

 **RS:** ok but just for clarifiction one more time

 **RS:** u dont have a weird lizard/crossdressing/pregnant/animatronic/furry kink?

 **YK:** Absolutelt not.

 **YK:** *absolutely

 **RS:** absolutelt

 **YK:** It was a typo.

 **RS:** absolutelt

 **YK:** I made a mistake.

 **RS:** absolutelt

 **YK:** This is harassment.

* * *

 

_October 22nd 2017_

_3:46 pm_

 

**depression nap 2: electric boogaloo**

 

 **Skull:** absolutelt

 **Fox:** Shut up.

 **Skull:** absolutelt

 **Fox:** Stop that.

 **Skull:** absolutelt

 **Fox:** Why are you doing this to me.

 **Oracle:** is it bully inari hours :3c

 **Fox:** No stop.

 **Skull:** mayhaps

 **Fox:** I thought you were against “mayhaps.”

 **Skull:** it only feels right rn

 **Oracle:** absolutelt??

 **Skull:** yusuke made a typo nd now u kno we gotta harass him for it

 **Oracle:** pics or it didnt happen

 **Skull:** cryptid.img 

**Oracle:** holy shit

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_absolutelt_ ** _~_

 **Fox:** Wow okay. I see how it is.

 **Joker:** Wait what’s going on?

 **Skull:** scroll up

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Absolutelt

 **Fox:** I trusted you.

 **Joker:** I’m sorry I had to.

 **Fox:** Suddenly I don’t know who you are.

 **Joker:** Single, again.

 **Joker:** It’s been like a week but okay.

 **Oracle:** was it worth it

 **Joker:** Yeah.

 **Skull:** absolutlt

 **Skull:** wait shit

 **Oracle:** did you really just make a typo of a typo

 **Skull:** no

 **Fox:** Yes.

 **Skull:** this is cyberbullying

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_absolutlt~_ **

**Joker:** Futaba god dammit.

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has demoted_ **_Oracle_ ** _~_

 **Oracle:** >:(

 **Joker:** Absolutlt

 **Fox:** Absolutlt

 **Oracle:** absolutlt

 **Skull:** no stop

 **Queen:** Akira and Ryuji, put your phones down and come help. We have a job to do, and I believe I made it very clear that the two of you were to help Ann and myself count ballots for the school festival.

 **Joker:** Sorry Makoto..

 **Skull:** sorry makoto

 **Queen:** Put your phones down right now, grab some ballots and keep counting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright listen this chapter is mostly just self indulgent. I've been in a Ryukita mood and wanted some Ryuji and Yusuke bonding. They're bros come at me.  
> Huge shout out to the dp5gc discord server for inspiring a good portion of this chapter. That server is wild and I would die for everyone in there while also sell them all to Satan for a single corn chip.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818  
> dp5gc discord: https://discord.gg/cwBhAF7


	36. shut up bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oracle: alright but cant believe the twink fucking choked on a spicy ball today  
> Panther: don’t phrase it like that!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY UH MAJOR SHOUT OUT TO ANDY WHO ATTEMPTED TO DRAW YUSUKE'S UNNECESSARILY DETAILED SONIC THE HEDGEHOG PLEASE CHECK IT OUT IT'S CURSED AND I'M SCREAMING ANDY ILY  
> https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/472607972581703690/488142206952013835/JPEG_20180908_212156.jpg

_October 23rd 2017_

_4:29 pm_

 

**absolutlt**

 

 **Queen:** So… as it turns out, the student body at Shujin really wants Akechi as a guest speaker.

 **Oracle:** uhh what

 **Oracle:** what are you talking about

 **Queen:** Right, you don’t go to Shujin.

 **Queen:** Essentially, for the school festival every year, the school has a guest speaker for a panel. The students get to vote on the guest speaker.

 **Queen:** The school festival is approaching soon, and the majority of the votes were for Goro Akechi.

 **Oracle:** the students at shujin have shit taste

 **Queen:** Yes, well, he is a celebrity and as far as the media knows, the Phantom Thieves are killers. As the media seems to influence the opinions of people, it seems that the vast majority believe that Akechi was right about the Phantom Thieves all along and want to hear what he has to say.

 **Queen:** I managed to get ahold of Akechi’s contact information from Sis and he said he would consider doing the panel.

 **Oracle:** shujin has shit taste

 **Queen:** I can’t argue with you there.

 **Joker:** Are you serious.

 **Joker:** Fuck.

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Fuck Akechi_ ** _~_

 **Oracle:** fuck akechi

 **Joker:** Fuck Akechi.

 **Queen:** Sigh.

* * *

 

_October 24th 2017_

_12:00 am_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **FS:** yo inari

 **FS:** if/when you become a famous artist im going to leak the picture of mpreg freddy fazbear you drew

 **YK:** Why would you do that.

 **FS:** itd be funny

 **FS:** hey check out what famous artist yusuke kitagawa drew for me when he was 16 #blessed #inarisafurry

 **YK:** I have no words.

 **FS:** have fun trying to tell the internet youre not a furry

 **YK:** I already have to try to explain to the Phantom Thieves on a daily basis that I’m not a furry.

 **FS:** furry

 **YK:** No.

 **FS:** furry

 **YK:** Stop.

 **FS:** could probably sell it on ebay for a shit ton of money

 **YK:** Whatever you choose to do with that drawing is on you.

 **FS:** some collector out there is going to pay a shit ton of money

 **FS:** for fan art of mpreg freddy fazbear

 **FS:** do you regret drawing it yet

 **YK:** I regretted it the moment my pencil touched the paper.

 **YK:** Ryuji still thinks it’s a kink.

 **FS:** asdkfgje

 **FS:** im surprised you even know what mpreg is

 **YK:** Futaba I go to a high class school with a bunch of entitled rich kids given access to pens. Unfortunately I have seen plenty of “cursed” images in just the past month alone.

 **FS:** _owo_

 **FS:** _like what_

 **YK:** ohgodwhy.img 

**YK:** The other day one of my classmates decided to send that to me.

 **FS:** _is that pokemon growth_

 **YK:** Yes.

 **YK:** Rich, entitled artists who are given access to a various supply of pens.

 **YK:** Someone did not think that idea through.

 **FS:** whats the most cursed thing youve ever drawn

 **YK:** You mean aside from your requests?

 **FS:** yea

 **YK:** I was requested to draw an extremely detailed sonic the hedgehog. I think I still have that drawing.

 **FS:** _holy shit inari send_

 **YK:** Let me find it first. It would be in one of my old sketchbooks.

 **YK:** mistake.img 

**FS:** _why is he so buff im,,_

 **YK:** I have many regrets. That is one of them.

 **FS:** damn sonic has some big dick energy right there

 **YK:** I don’t know what that means and I don’t wish to know.

 **FS:** :\ lame

* * *

 

_October 24th 2017_

_7:22 am_

 

**Fuck Akechi**

 

 **Noir:** Good morning everyone!

 **Noir:** I know this is sudden but i was doing a bit of thinking..

 **Noir:** With the school festival coming up i was wondering if, perhaps we could go together? It could be fun and i’d like to try to make up for what happened at destinyland.

 **Noir:** And… with akechi possibly being the guest speaker, it seems important that we’re all present to see what he has to say.

 **Queen:** Good morning, Haru.

 **Queen:** I talked to Akechi before bed last night and he said he would accept our invitation as guest speaker. You’re right, he might have some information that we will want to hear. It would be best if all of us were there for the panel, however the panel is not until the 26th. In two days.

 **Noir:** Yes. I know it’s sudden but maybe tomorrow we could all just… i don’t know… pretend to be normal kids. Just wander around the school, play some games, eat festival food. I want to make it up somehow, and that sounds like it could be fun,

 **Queen:** Haru, you don’t have to make up anything to us. What happened at Destinyland was not in our control, and I’m sorry it ended the way it did.

 **Queen:** But you do have a point. Hanging out at the festival, that sounds like fun. Given everything that’s happened, we could use a bit of fun in our lives. I’m available tomorrow and would love to attend the festival with you.

 **Oracle:** i was looking up gay reaction images for this but gay porn is the first thing to come up my virgin eyes didnt consent to this

 **Joker:** Kid you have more porn than the rest of us combined you aren’t innocent.

 **Queen:** Can you two please stop talking about porn right now it is seven in the morning.

 **Joker:** Whoops hand slipped.

 **Oracle:** i just wanted some nice gay reaction images smh didnt ask for DICKS IN MY FACE

 **Queen:** Futaba please.

 **Noir:** Oh! Futaba-chan, akira-kun, are you available tomorrow?

 **Joker:** Oh yeah. Sure thing, Haru, that sounds great. That’s a good idea. We could use a bit of a stress reliever.

 **Noir:** My thoughts exactly.

 **Oracle:** o yea that sounds lit

 **Joker:** I’m sorry but who the fuck raised you we do not use that kind of language here.

 **Oracle:** _lit_

 **Joker:** You stop that.

 **Oracle:** [ sghdjkl.img ](http://img2.thejournal.ie/inline/2361467/original?width=256&version=2361467)

**Joker:** [ talk-shit-get-hit.png ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357689731938516993/486683624092205056/a2017340-2827-4261-9ec4-e7fccbad3ff7.png)

**Queen:** It is… seven am why are you two like this.

 **Joker:** I will not have any of that filthy language in my Phantom Thieves, Makoto.

 **Oracle:** i havent slept in three days what did you expect

 **Noir:** Futaba-chan, you should really get some sleep soon. That’s not good for you.

 **Oracle:** ill sleep as soon as the fox fucker finishes my velociraptor pictures smh

 **Joker:** Excuse you.

 **Oracle:** sorry i mean leader fucker

 **Joker:** Uh okay wow that was Rude and uncalled for.

 **Oracle:** [ akira.gif ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/472606164371111937/486675878948896771/image0.gif)

**Joker:** Wow okay.

 **Joker:** Fucking @ me next time.

 **Panther:** why is my phone exploding and why was i not told we’re bullying akira

 **Oracle:** whoops sorry ann my b

 **Panther:** hold on scrolling up real quick

 **Panther:** the school festival? that sounds great! i love that idea haru! count me in!

 **Noir:** Splendid! I hope everyone else can attend as well?

 **Joker:** I’ll let them know. We should all, hopefully, be free.

 **Oracle:** ooo is it bully akira hours >:3

 **Joker:** No shut up.

 **Panther:** it’s always bully akira hours

 **Joker:** I am your leader.

 **Panther:** [ akira.gif ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/472606164371111937/486675878948896771/image0.gif)

**Joker:** That is rude and uncalled for.

 **Oracle:** [ akira.gif ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/472606164371111937/486675878948896771/image0.gif)

**Panther:** [ akira.gif ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/472606164371111937/486675878948896771/image0.gif)

**Joker:** Why are you accusing me of being a bottom I am a Good Christian Boy.

 **Oracle:** inari might be a weirdo but he has Big Top Energy

 **Oracle:** also i have access to your search history i know what youre into

 **Joker:** That’s just invasive.

 **Oracle:** you are a bottom and everyone knows it stop trying to deny it

 **Joker:** I will admit to nothing.

 **Oracle:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0kqobQRcUo ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0kqobQRcUo)

**Joker:** No.

 **Panther:** i hate this conversation but am also kind of curious??

 **Oracle:** ann? Big Top Energy

 **Panther:** sadfgh

 **Oracle:** well kinda

 **Oracle:** not exactly Big Top Energy but theres some Top Energy

 **Panther:** i have nothing to say to that

 **Joker:** Ann? A top? That’s funny

 **Panther:** [ akira.gif ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/472606164371111937/486675878948896771/image0.gif)

**Joker:** I am not a bottom stop this.

 **Oracle:** sounds fake but ok

 **Queen:** It is seven in the morning. You three need to stop.

 **Oracle:** nah

 **Queen:** Futaba, you need to sleep.

 **Oracle:** but i dont wanna

 **Queen:** Please try to get at least some sleep before the school festival.

 **Oracle:** >:(

 **Oracle:** fine

 **Noir:** Sleep well, futaba-chan!

 **Oracle:** you are a ray of sunshine how in the hell

 **Oracle:** (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

 **Oracle:** ^ actually haru

 **Joker:** Confirmed.

* * *

 

_October 25th 2017_

_4:19 pm_

 

At least everyone was having fun.

Makoto internally sighed and lightly fingered the ends of the pink and white table cloth set out in front of the group.

So far, the school festival seemed more successful than it had in past years. Given all that had happened, she supposed it made sense. Kamoshida, Principal Kobayakawa’s “suicide”, rumors regarding the Phantom Thieves, the police showing up to individually interview the students… On top of that, Goro Akechi had agreed to act as the guest speaker and he had been gaining popularity like crazy since the fall of the Phantom Thieves.

Perhaps she was just a bit paranoid. They were there to have fun and try to relax for once. Makoto couldn’t remember the last time she was able to properly relax.

Ryuji sat back in his seat, his foot rested on his knee. He lightly nudged Akira in the shoulder, who was “subtly” holding Yusuke’s hand underneath the table. If Makoto was honest, it was about time those two finally got together. She had noticed Akira’s pining almost right away. Yusuke was a bit harder to read, but he had dropped hints about how he felt. Whether he was aware he was doing so or not, she couldn’t quite tell. From what she knew of Yusuke, Makoto could only assume that he didn’t completely know. Not only was he an incredible artist, but he was nearly impossible to read sometimes.

Nearly.

“You know, maybe Akechi only agreed to show up ‘cause he believes we didn’t kill anybody?” Ryuji mumbled. His eyebrows raised slightly, almost in hope.

“Or he simply loves large gatherings.” Yusuke tacked on. He rolled his eyes, and Makoto had to put a hand over her mouth to keep from giggling a bit. One thing could be said for sure about Yusuke: he had a clear dislike for Goro Akechi.

It was safe to say the vast majority of the Phantom Thieves had some form of dislike for Akechi, but seeing Yusuke so openly expressing his disgust was a little funny.

Ann pointed a finger in Yusuke’s general direction. “True. He did seem to love being pampered by the media.”

Morgana’s tail flicked from the inside of Akira’s bag. He peeked his head out and pressed his paws against the table. “We plan on stealing intel, but we might fall into another trap.”

Akira groaned and rested his head on Yusuke’s shoulder. “Is the takoyaki done yet?” He asked, lazily. Had he even been listening to the conversation?

Yusuke pushed Akira’s head away, and Akira whined. “We don’t know what Akechi is planning yet.” Yusuke added.

At that moment, a timer rang loudly from somewhere in the classroom. A student in a maid dress sauntered over, holding a cardboard container of what looked to be normal takoyaki, and set it on the table in front of the group.

Well, _almost_ normal. With the exception of the one glowing bright red.

So that’s what they meant by “russian” takoyaki…

“Russian,” as in russian roulette.

Could it even be considered russian roulette if you knew which shot would cause the bullet to fire? Or, in this case, what the “special” takoyaki ball was?

“One of them is bright red.” Morgana noted with disdain. Weren’t cats usually color blind? Strange.

Ann made a face of concern, like she had witnessed someone shove an entire ball of wasabi in their mouth. “Would going for the obvious one be ‘manly’ or something?” She looked over at Ryuji.

“Aren’t you all going to eat? I think I’ll try going for the ‘special’ one.” Haru noted sweetly. Makoto put a hand over her heart and noticed how it quickened in pace. That was peculiar, but lately she had noticed her body reacting in weird ways around Haru. Not that she would admit it out loud, but she had an idea as to why.

“You are honestly going to do it?” Makoto gasped. She shifted her body in her chair and turned to face Haru. A bolt of worry shot up Makoto’s spine.

Ryuji beamed, a large shit eating grin from across the table. “Do _you_ wanna go for the red one, Makoto?”

She moved her hands up in surrender. “I’ll pass on that one.” Just the look of it was toxic. She couldn’t even imagine ingesting that thing.

Eventually, the majority of the takoyaki were consumed, leaving just the red one in the box. Makoto looked around, scanning all of the faces of her friends.

Haru seemed interested. She had suggested being the one to eat it earlier. It seemed if no one else were to take it, she would do it without a doubt. Whether it be out of sheer curiosity or excitement, Makoto couldn’t tell. Something about Haru had everything inside Makoto all out of commission. Given everything that had happened, it seemed Haru was the one to cloud the majority of Makoto’s thoughts.

Akira poked at it with a toothpick. “Think it’ll be spicy?”

“It’s glowing red, dude. You tell me.” Ryuji responded cooly. “You gonna be the one to try it?”

The leader studied it. “...I’ll do it.” He stuck the toothpick into it, and Makoto had to stop herself from gagging.

Leave it to Joker, she thought. It only made sense that, in the end, he would be the one to eat it.

“Oh, everyone’s all here.”

A familiar but cool voice echoed throughout the room. Akechi’s voice.

Makoto’s skin crawled. Phantom Thieves aside, something about him was deeply unsettling. She couldn’t exactly pinpoint what, and given his sickly sweet exterior she wasn’t sure anyone else could pick up on it, but something felt wrong.

Akechi approached the table, one hand in his jacket pocket and an almost realistic smile on his face.

“The panel isn’t until tomorrow, though.” Makoto stammered.

Akechi shrugged. “I came to check out the venue. I can’t make any mistakes, since a lot of people will be present.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Makoto noticed Akira shoot Yusuke a satisfied smirk. Maybe Yusuke had been on the right track when he said that Akechi had only come for the large crowds…

“But, people ended up recognizing me. Everyone bombarded me with questions.” Akechi ran a gloved hand through silky strands of ashen hair. “I grew tired of the baseless rumors and managed to escape to where there weren’t any people.”

Akira rested his head in his hands. “That sounds exhausting,” With his other hand, he gestured to the takoyaki. It must have internally pained him to have to let go of Yusuke. “We were just finishing up here. Do you want the last one? It’s takoyaki.”

Futaba made a noise from where she sat in the corner, something like a snort or a laugh. Haru gasped and muttered “the ‘special’ one” under her breath.

Part of Makoto told her she should step in and stop whatever was happening before it happened. She knew Akira, and she had a feeling she knew where he was going with this. At the same time, the other part of Makoto was intrigued to see where this would lead. The interested part of her managed to win her over. Maybe they deserved to have a little bit of “fun” before the panel.

Akechi thanked Akira and popped the takoyaki into his mouth.

Ann opened her mouth to protest but Ryuji held up a hand to silence her, hissing out a quick “it’s fine.”

Several things happened all at once.

At least three expressions, some of which Makoto couldn’t quite recognized crossed Akechi’s face. Futaba had out her phone and was snickering under her breath while also attempting to get a subtle snapchat video of the detective.

Akechi coughed once. Noticeable tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and his face was stained red. He attempted to cover it all up with a smile.

“Are you okay? Do you need water?” Ann sputtered.

Akechi waved her off, his breathing heavier. “I-I’m fine. I just, uh, spicy -- spicy stuff…” He attempted to play it off with a friendly laugh that just came out more pained. His body shook in a way that would have been concerning in any other situation. “Well then, I’ll, uh, I’ll see you t-tomorrow.”

He turned on his heel and took off, most likely to find some water or something.

Laughter, mostly from Ryuji and Futaba, echoed across the table.

“Futaba, please send that to me.” Ryuji gestured to her and she nodded.

Fun was fun, and as hilarious as it may have been to watch Goro Akechi almost break down due to spicy takoyaki, Makoto knew something was very wrong. “Just checking out the venue,” huh? Something was very wrong.

The others were having fun. Deep down, they all knew that _something_ was about to happen. A major bomb was about to be dropped, it was only a matter of when.

Well, at least everyone was having fun.

* * *

 

_October 25th 2017_

_6:37 pm_

 

**Fuck Akechi**

 

 **Oracle:** getrektnerd.mov 

**Oracle:** fuckyou.img 

**Oracle:** spicypieceofshit.img 

**Oracle:** heres the shit from the festival

 **Oracle:** get fucked akechi

 **Joker:** You’re a blessing small gremlin child.

 **Oracle:** i know :3

 **Joker:** You are the most cursed being I have ever come across, but sometimes I am thankful for your existence. Fucking superb you funky little demon.

 **Oracle:** (☞ຈل͜ຈ)☞

 **Skull:** new phone background right there

 **Oracle:** same

 **Joker:** Hmm, tempting.

 **Joker:** You see I would but my background is currently perfect.

 **Oracle:** its just a picture of you and inari :\

 **Joker:** Exactly.

 **Panther:** you guys know he could have been hurt, right?

 **Panther:** yeah i don’t like akechi much but we can’t kill him.

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Oracle:** alright but cant believe the twink fucking choked on a spicy ball today

 **Panther:** don’t phrase it like that!!

 **Joker:** asdcfghjkhggf

 **Skull:** pffft

 **Joker:** You’re right and you should say it.

 **Oracle:** wait you know whos a twink

 **Panther:** who?

 **Oracle:** inari

 **Joker:** SKJDFLGHEW

 **Joker:** I mean…

 **Joker:** [ thotbgone.jpg ](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/398/805/2d2.jpg)

**Skull:** i hate that no

 **Oracle:** but hes the kind of twink that hits like a bara

 **Panther:** futaba oh my god

 **Skull:** NO

**Joker:**

**Joker:**

**Joker:**

_~_ **_Joker_ ** _has removed_ **_Oracle_ ** _from the chat~_

 **Joker:** I take back everything I said. The evil is defeated.

 **Panther:** defending yusuke’s honor?

 **Joker:** Yes.

 **Panther:** that’s gay

 **Joker:** You’re gay

 **Panther:** got me there

 **Skull:** sigh

 _~_ **_Futaba Sakura_ ** _has joined the chat~_

 _~_ **_Futaba Sakura_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_Oracle_ ** _~_

 **Oracle:** itll take more than that to get rid of me joker >:3

 **Joker:** Unfortunately I’m aware.

 **Oracle:** you removed me before i could finish what i was saying coward

 **Joker:** Choose your words wisely Futaba :)

 **Oracle:** youre about as threatening as a kitten but ok

 **Oracle:** ryuji is a bara that can hit like a twink

 **Skull:** dude no

 **Panther:** KJDFL;EWRKT

 **Joker:** I..

 **Joker:** I mean…

 **Skull:** akira dont

 **Joker:** She’s probably right

 **Skull:** ur dead to me

 **Panther:** SHE’S RIGHT ASJKDFGH

 **Skull:** y tf do u find this so effin funny ann

 **Panther:** I HATE THINKING ABOUT IT BUT SHE’S RIGHT

 **Oracle:** of course im right who do you take me for

 **Skull:** ann ur dead to me too

 **Oracle:** what about me >:3c

 **Skull:** uve been dead to me since u accused me of hitting like a twink

 **Oracle:** >;3c

 **Oracle:** ryuji youre a bottom

 **Skull:** WTF

 **Oracle:** ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

 **Panther:** i’m,,,

 **Joker:** Holy shit

 **Skull:** all 3 of u r dead to me yusuke is now the only friend i need

 **Oracle:** [ akira.gif ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/472606164371111937/486675878948896771/image0.gif)

**Panther:** [ akira.gif ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/472606164371111937/486675878948896771/image0.gif)

**Joker:** [ akira.gif ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/472606164371111937/486675878948896771/image0.gif)

**Panther:** AKIRA ASDFGH

 **Panther:** WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT SAVED AS AKIRA.GIF

 **Joker:** It downloaded like that and my phone won’t let me rename it.

 **Oracle:** so are you confirming youre a bottom

 **Joker:** No I didn’t say that shut up

 **Panther:** why did you download that gif anyway

 **Joker:** I thought I would need it one day. That day is today. We are calling Ryuji a bottom.

 **Skull:** hey lets not do that

 **Oracle:** hey lets do that ;3c

 **Skull:** effin gremlin

 **Oracle:** (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

* * *

 

_October 26th 2017_

_2:06 am_

 

**Fuck Akechi**

 

 **Skull:** so i might have done a thing

 **Skull:** makoto mighta been onto somethin

 **Fox:** Why tell us? It’s two in the morning.

 **Skull:** because i kno at least 2 of u fucks r gonna be online this late

 **Skull:** i see 1 wheres the gremlin

 **Oracle:** you called? :3

 **Skull:** yup there she is

 **Oracle:** ryuji what did you do OwO

 **Skull:** 1 dont use that face

 **Oracle:** OwO

 **Skull:** 2 i kinda maybe burned pasta

 **Oracle:** how the hell

 **Skull:** in the microwave

 **Fox:** Ryuji, how did you manage that?

 **Oracle:** oh my god

 **Fox:** Ryuji…

 **Skull:** and it melted the bowl

 **Oracle:** _how_

 **Skull:** i forgot to add water

 **Fox:** …

 **Fox:** That is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard of you doing.

 **Skull:** yea yeah shut

 **Oracle:** how the hell did you forget one of the _only two ingredients needed_

 **Skull:** look its 2am nd im sleepy aight

 **Skull:** i just wanted some pasta then i was gonna sleep but ig life doesnt want me to have pasta

 **Skull:** the smoke alarm went off nd it woke up my mom uh

 **Skull:** shes disappointed in me

 **Oracle:** :|

 **Oracle:** dont disappoint momma sakamoto

 **Fox:** …

 **Skull:** look i try not to it was an accident

 **Fox:** …

 **Oracle:** i think you broke inari

 **Skull:** u good yusuke?

 **Fox:** …

 **Fox:** With all due respect, you’re a dumbass.

 **Oracle:** pfft way to call him out

 **Skull:** ok ow

 **Skull:** aight im tryin again

 **Oracle:** are you serious

 **Skull:** im still hungry nd still want pasta

 **Fox:** Perhaps you should cook it over the stove?

 **Skull:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Oracle:** dont forget water

 **Skull:** i got water this time its fine

* * *

 

_October 26th 2017_

_4:15 pm_

 

“Well then, we will now begin today’s panel.”

The sea of students in the surrounding seats in front of the stage was overwhelming, to say the least. Certainly, more students had shown up to the panel than last year. It made sense, given the current events, but that didn’t stop the dread pooling in the pit of Makoto’s stomach.

Well, it seemed, it was finally time. Knowing Futaba and Haru were somewhere in the crowd made her feel a bit better, but not by much. They were all listening in, one way or another.

“Our guest of honor is Goro Akechi.” Makoto spoke his name into her microphone, and all at once the audience began applauding Akechi. She fought off the urge to glare at him.

Akechi chuckled and removed his own microphone from the podium he stood in front of. “I feel kind of bad, considering how many people have gathered. I’m sure you all would have been happier to see a singer or an idol of some sort, wouldn’t you say?”

The audience laughed. Makoto carried on.

“We’d appreciate it if you could tell us about your experiences with the notorious Phantom Thieves,” The words were bitter on her tongue. “It’d be wonderful if you could give us more information about your actual investigative process.” The other thieves were all relying on her to try to squeeze some sort of information out of him. At this point, it would only make sense that he suspected something, or perhaps someone… He had claimed the Phantom Thieves weren’t murderers, however he was also quick to state that they were dangerous. She scuffed at the stage with the toe of her shoe. “As much as you’re allowed to say, of course. Would you tell us how far along your investigation is on them?”

“Getting right to the point, I see. If it’s as much as I’m allowed to say, then everything I’ve said on TV and the internet is all of it,” Akechi made a vague signal with his hand. “We don’t have any leads yet, and their methods are still unknown.” Something glinted in his crimson red eyes. Something threatening. Sinister, even. Just _what_ did he know?

Makoto nodded. “I see. Even with this country’s power, arresting them is proving to be difficult. Is that the case?”

The corner of Akechi’s mouth tugged into a satisfied smirk. “I wouldn’t phrase it that way, but, well, there’s... something like that.” The answer was vague, and purposely so. That, in itself, raised more questions.

Makoto crossed her ankles. “It seems you’ve denied correlation to the Phantom Thieves and the murders. Why the sudden change? Until now, haven’t you upheld your stance that the Phantom Thieves are dangerous?” Her eyebrows knit together. “How are you so positive that they haven’t committed murder?”

Akechi shook his head. “Aren’t you a little too comfortable interrogating people? It’s as if though you’re a prosecutor.” His words held no malice, but the both of them knew exactly what he was referring to.

“Excuse me. This is something I’ve been personally interested in, so I couldn’t help it. Won’t you tell us? What reason is there that you’d suddenly claim their innocence when you previously stated they were unjust?”

He scanned her briefly, most likely attempting to read her body language, then shook his head once more. “Every person whose heart they changed have truly been criminals, including Okumura. Why then, was he the only one who needed to be killed?” He pressed a gloved hand to his chin thoughtfully. “I must admit, I couldn’t deduce a possible reasoning. It goes against their previous patterns. That’s why I believe that case should be thought of as if a different party is responsible. If, and this is all hypothetical mind you, _if_ the Phantom Thieves are the ones I know of, I can’t possibly imagine they would kill someone.”

_The Phantom Thieves he knew of?_

What did that mean? Makoto’s nerves buzzed with anxiety. She managed to stammer out a coherent, yet slightly panicked statement. “Your comment just now, does this mean the police have successfully identified who the Phantom Thieves really are?”

“Oh, no. The police haven’t gotten that far, but I have my own conclusions about their true identities.” He looked Makoto dead in the eyes, and with a slightly cocky edge to his voice, said “You’re not going to ask me who they are?” Almost as if daring her to ask.

“It may have repercussions on the investigation. Are you sure you can share that with us?” She wasn’t going to back down. Not now.

He knew. Plain and simple, he knew their identities. At this point, he was just teasing them. Makoto was well aware he was playing with his food before eating it. It was sadistic, but powerful. It got across his point in a way only her and the other Phantom Thieves could comprehend.

“It’s only my personal opinion, so announcing that here wouldn’t pose a problem. However, there is a possibility everyone present will hear the truth before the police or media.”

“That’s quite the confidence you have. If you’re so certain, then very well.” Her voice was as hard as ice. “I’d like to ask you, then. Who do you think the Phantom Thieves are, Akechi-san?”

That devious, Joker-like smirk came crawling back to his face. He almost played the role of Joker better than Joker himself. “They’re someone you all know quite well. The identity of the Phantom Thieves are --”

At that moment, Akechi’s phone rang. He set the microphone down, back into its stand, and drew his cellphone out from his pocket. “I apologize for the interruption, but I can’t turn off my phone due to my job. Would you mind if I step away for about ten minutes or so?”

 _Of course._ Makoto forced an apologetic smile onto her face and turned to address the audience. “I’m terribly sorry, everyone, but we’ll be taking a break. We’ll resume the panel in ten minutes.”

Makoto set her microphone down, just as Akechi approached her.

“Is there a room I may use?” He asked from behind her. Something about his voice sent shivers up her spine.

“There’s the PE Faculty office.”

Akechi walked behind her before stopping. “...I want you to come, too. There’s a matter I want to discuss. Your friends from yesterday are here, aren’t they? Can you bring them too?”

All at once, it hit her.

“Did you set this up?” Makoto hissed. Something was wrong. She knew something had been _very_ wrong.

He smirked. “We only have ten minutes, you know.”

Makoto mentally cursed herself. She should have known. Something had been very wrong, and yet she didn’t act.

Something was wrong.

Akechi, it seemed, had discovered the identity of the Phantom Thieves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter came out more sexual than intended sorry about that. It was also originally longer but to help relieve some stress and get a head start for next time, I cut it off here. This is still a really long chapter though, so just hang in there I guess.  
> I've decided to move my update day to satudays. School just recently started and in a little over a week I'm officially going to have a job, so updates are being pushed to the weekend now. Sorry about that, but I didn't have a choice.  
> I was half asleep writing half of this and the writing machine is temporarily broke so the written parts are kinda shit here whoops. Let me know if you see any mistakes.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818
> 
> Fun fact: a few days before school started I burned fucking pasta in the microwave and the discord group yelled at me to include that in a chapter. Y'all are gremlins but I fucking did it.


	37. haru finally get what she deserves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fox: I’m not participating in this conversation.  
> Oracle: bitch you drew freddy fazbear mpreg art you have no right to act disgusted

_October 26th 2017_

_4:32 pm_

 

For someone who had almost died via spicy takoyaki the day before, Akira could wholeheartedly say that Goro Akechi was one of the most intimidating people he had ever met. Friendly, yes. However, at the same time, he could be excruciatingly threatening when he wanted to be, all masked behind a warm smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, almost as if he knew something the others did not. Well, obviously he did, otherwise he wouldn’t have called out the Phantom Thieves. A bold move on Akechi’s part, Akira had to admit. It definitely got his point across, and was only able to really signal to the Phantom Thieves, like some secret code. During the few conversations Akira had had with Akechi, he had been, for lack of a better term, kind to Akira. Something about that piercing stare, though, sent ice crawling down Akira’s back. That stare, with those flaming irises.

Makoto had a permanent scowl on her face, that had been resting there since the panel was cut off. “What do you want to talk about?” It came out as a throaty growl.

Akechi fished something out of his coat and pressed them to the table. Akira stepped forward and examined it. Photographs? Of what..?

Of… Oh.

Pictures of the Phantom Thieves disappearing were portrayed across a series of five photographs. They must have been taken while they were entering the Metaverse. That, in itself, raised a lot of questions.

Haru gasped. “No…” Her voice shook with defeat and shock.

“T-that’s gotta be photoshopped.” Ryuji sputtered. The fact that he was tripping over words gave everything away, though. Ryuji might have been impressive in a fight, but he was a terrible liar.

A daunting smirk played at the corner of Akechi’s mouth. “I have video footage too.” He replied coolly.

 _Cocky bastard._ Akira thought. Then again, the same thing could be said about him.

“Please, let’s not feign ignorance. All of you can go into that other world too, yes?” Akechi’s gaze could have bored a hole into Akira’s soul if Akira had one.

 _Other world?_ So Akechi knew about the Metaverse too. It made sense, especially given their introduction to each other, but Akira couldn’t help but do a double take on the statement.

Akira set his jaw and put on his best poker face. He prided himself on that, given all the bullshit he’d been put through. “‘Other world?’ You care to elaborate on that?”

“Wouldn’t you know about it more than me?” Akechi offered. While the statement was said as a question, it came off as more of a mocking fact. He continued on, most likely getting lost in the sound of his own voice and deductions. “I also know that when you traverse over there, your appearance changes as well. It’s because of those mysterious powers, isn’t it?”

_Persona._

Akechi, it seemed, has a persona as well. Who’d have thought that Mister Detective Prince had a rebellious spirit inside him all along?

He fished his phone out of his jacket pocket. “I found out about that world around a month ago. This had been installed onto my phone without my knowledge.” Akechi turned his phone screen to face the Phantom Thieves. In the midst of all his other apps sat the Metanav.

“When the app activated on its own, the scenery around me suddenly changed. Quite frankly, I still can’t believe it myself.” Akechi went on. This guy really loved hearing himself talk, didn’t he? “From the look of these photos, you all seem quite used to it.”

Ryuji snarled. “We’ve been listenin’ to you blab on for a while now, so cut the delusional --”

Akechi cut him off. “All of you are acting as Phantom Thieves in the Metaverse.” Once again, not a question but a fact. “I can say so with conviction because I have the same power as you.”

Akira elected to say nothing. Akechi had them backed into a corner; denying it would only make the situation worse. Saying nothing was all the confirmation Akechi needed, anyways. Perhaps Akechi would take it as shame or something, but in all actuality it was more that Akira didn’t care enough to verbally confirm it. All the proof was there, anyways.

Akechi seemed to catch on. “I’ll take your silence as confirmation.”

If Akira remembered correctly, Makoto had said something along those lines when she had figured them out as Phantom Thieves. Ryuji, too, when asking about Akira’s type in Hawaii.

Akechi pressed a gloved finger to his chin thoughtfully. “In all honesty, I’ve been curious about you since the time of the Madarame case, but to think it would end up like this...”

Without thinking, Akira casted a glance towards Yusuke. Yusuke had no identifiable reaction, except maybe annoyance from this entire situation. Not that anyone could really blame him.

Haru balled her hands into fists. She stepped forward. “We didn’t kill anyone.” She insisted.

“I believe that as well.” Akechi moved his hand away from his face and instead pressed his arms by his side.

“How can you be so sure?” Makoto inquired.

“Because I saw another: the real culprit.”

It took a moment for Akechi’s words to fully set in. There was no denying the wave of consternation that washed over everyone.

Ann was the first to react. She stamped her foot against the ground and stepped forward. “Well? Who was it?”

Akechi pressed a hand to his head, out of disappointment or exhaustion, Akira couldn’t tell. “I couldn’t identify his face. He had a mask on, after all. Actually, when I took these photos,” With his other hand, he vaguely gestured to the photographs on the table. “I entered ‘that world,’ too. That’s when I saw someone else moving about. Someone unlike the rest of you. He shot at me the moment he noticed me.”

Yusuke crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow in skepticism. _“That’s_ who killed President Okumura?” It never failed to amaze Akira just how calm Yusuke remained in troublesome situations. Admittedly, the Phantom Thieves got wrapped up in more troublesome situations than they probably should have.

Akechi nodded, moving his hand away from his head. “Most likely. At the very least, I was almost killed by him.”

Morgana peeked out from behind a stack of boxes on the table, right by the photos. “Akechi has a persona too?” He asked. It was the first thing he had said since being called to the PE Faculty lounge.

Akechi jolted up and whirled around to look at Morgana. “This cat… it talked?”

Akira couldn’t help the somewhat satisfied smirk. Part of him was tempted to tell Akechi that no, Morgana was only his pet cat and that the detective was hallucinating. At the very least, it would have been entertaining. Judging by the venomous glare Makoto was shooting him, as if she already knew what he was thinking, doing so would have been a bad idea. Makoto’s look was clear, and read only one thing:

_Don’t even think about it._

Akira may have been an asshole. He did stupid things sometimes, sure, like asking shadows if he could eat their ass as a joke or t-pose Mishima into a corner, but he wasn’t crazy enough to act against Makoto. She was one of the most hardcore and threatening people Akira had ever met. If Akechi was intimidating, Makoto was straight up terrifying.

Ann beat Akira to the punch. “Morgana,” She explained. “He’s our teammate who taught us about the Metaverse.”

“Really?” Akechi stifled a dry, self assuring chuckle. “This is unbelievable. Say, Morgana,” He turned to the cat on the table. “Were you the one who instructed them on how to change people’s hearts? I’ve experienced that world, too, and I have yet to solve that mystery.”

Morgana hopped up onto the box on the table. He puffed out his chest out of pride. Or, well, as much as one could in the body of a cat. It was honestly adorable in a funny way. Had the situation been different, Akira probably would have pet Morgana, only to ultimately have his hand bit by the human kin cat. Morgana, as obnoxious as he could be sometimes, was hands down the most adorable of the Phantom Thieves.

“We go into the Metaverse to what we call Palaces, to steal the core of their desires: their Treasure,” Morgana explained. His tail swished back and forth. “Those whose Treasure has been stolen then undergo a change of heart.”

Akechi nodded. “I see… Well, there’s certainly no way someone could figure out such an MO.”

“MO? What’s that?” Ryuji stage whispered, if one could even call it a whisper.

“MO. It stands for ‘modus operandi.’ It basically means the way someone goes about doing something.” Akira explained. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, just for added effect. Maybe he was a little extra. Just maybe.

Ryuji considered this a moment before shaking his head. “Anyways. Back to what you were talkin’ about, Mister Detective,” His words were sharp and venomous, like the fangs of a King Cobra Snake. “Are we in this mess ‘cause of _that guy?!”_

‘That guy.’ Meaning… President Okumura.

“All you do is reform people. I may not completely understand your method, but someone else is behind the murders,” Akechi theorized. His eyebrows knit together and all his focus appeared to be on the true perpetrator of the murders. Akira recognized that look. That same, acute, razor-like look he got whenever considering the possibilities and narrowing his options. “However, the police seem to be thoroughly convinced the Phantom Thieves did it. A bit reckless, if you ask me, but they’ve made up their minds. At this rate, they’ll have you all arrested.” Something else, something vaguely familiar to Joker teased behind Akechi’s words. A warm shiver crawled up Akira’s spine.

Haru gasped. “T-they’re going to treat me as my father’s murderer?” Distress radiated off of her. Distress that none of them had ever seen before. At least, not from Haru.

“If the police have their way, yes. I can’t look over such a grave mistake, which is precisely why I want to strike a deal. I may be able to save you from this situation.”

Of course. It clicked, just where Akechi was going with this. After all, Akira was extremely familiar with this position. Lord only knew just how many times he had said the words “I want to strike a deal.” He was fairly certain he had said those exact words to each of the Phantom Thieves at one point or another.

“Okay,” Akira crossed his arms. “What are your conditions?”

It was all a game, really. You set out your proposal and waited for the other party to take the bait. The question was, did Akechi know how to play?

“I would like you to cooperate with me on investigating  the truth.” Akechi spoke slowly.

“And if we decline?” Yusuke suggested.

Smugness painted every inch of Akechi’s face. “Then I think I’ll have to inform the police about all of you, along that video I mentioned.”

Any stance Akira had above Akechi was kicked out from under him.

Well, Akira decided. Akechi was apparently _very_ good at this game. Almost too good. Perhaps Akira had finally found a worthy opponent. Who would come out with the crown, Akira wondered. If he played his cards right…

“This ain’t no deal, it’s blackmail!” Ryuji cried.

Akechi waved him off with a hand. “Call it whatever you want. This is the method I believe to be correct. The justice I uphold will not tolerate criminals who kill people at their leisure,” Something sinister lingered behind Akechi’s piercing gaze. He turned to Akira. “You’ve heard that Sae-san is the one leading the Phantom Thief investigation, correct? The higher ups are concerned only with settling the case. They want to capture the culprits behind the mental shutdowns and psychotic breakdown incidents to end the commotion. Those are the ones putting pressure on Sae-san. You can imagine her impatience. It seems that they’re going to try to pin it on the Phantom Thieves.”

Yusuke sighed and ran a hand through his bangs. His frustrations were beginning to peek through a bit. Knowing him, it was most likely due to the passing time spent with Akechi as well as the information being provided. “What evidence do they have that we did it? How do they intend on proving it?”

“Even if there’s no objective explanation to the method, it’s over once causality is established,” Akechi clarified. “Sae-san can’t make rational judgements at the moment. If she were to be cornered, well, she might even make up a confession.”

Makoto visibly tensed. “Make it up…? Where are you going with this?”

“You’ll be found guilty if you’re caught. It will be treated as a very serious crime. Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do alone to stop the flow of things.”

“And that’s why you want our cooperation?” Makoto concluded.

Akechi nodded once more. “Yes. In return, I’ll turn a blind eye to what you’ve done. Those are my conditions. That said, after this I ask that you disband the Phantom Thieves.” It didn’t have to be stated that if they didn’t, Akechi would turn them in. The implication already hung heavy in the air. “What do you say?”

Akira considered this. The proposal was risky. There had to be an ulterior motive somewhere, right? But where? Either way, if they went through and nothing went wrong, everything the Phantom Thieves had worked so hard for would be shut down. Did they have another choice, though? If they didn’t accept, Akechi would turn them in. If they didn’t accept, somehow they’d be pinned for murder, as well as the psychotic breakdowns. Either way, it seemed Akechi would be the only clear winner here.

Seemed.

Akira knew this game like the back of his hand. Akechi was trying to corner him. However, there was always a way around that. Akira would just need to climb up. It would be tricky and require a lot of thought, but it was possible. It had to be.

“You’re demanding quite a lot, don’t you think? I don’t suppose these terms are at all negotiable?” When trapped, try to talk your way out of it. That’s what Akira had learned, being a Phantom Thief. If his silver tongue couldn’t get them out of trouble, the next best option would be to stab them with his knife or shoot them in the face. He briefly considered that as an option.

“Unfortunately, no. This is my only offer. Take it or leave it.”

Akechi was showing him his hand, another bold move. Typically, that could be considered a distraction or a brag. Where was the ace up his sleeve? Akira would just have to out-play him.

“I’ll consider your offer,” Akira decided. He needed more time to think. “We need some more time to think on it.”

Akechi shrugged effortlessly. “That’s fine. You don’t have to decide at the moment,” He snatched the pictures off the table and shove them back into his coat. “I trust you’ll make the right choice. About that…. I’m sorry. Niijima-san, would it be acceptable if we ended the panel here? The reason you called for me in the first place was for intel, correct? You got what you wanted. My business is concluded as well.”

“I’ll deal with it somehow.” Makoto stated.

Akechi offered a polite, but somewhat unsettling smile before walking towards the door. Without saying another word he left the room.

* * *

 

_October 26th 2017_

_4:43 pm_

 

“Hey, Joker…”

The other thieves had left the room, leaving only Akira and Morgana.

Morgana looked up at Akira with an intensity that only he could muster. “So you noticed it too, huh?”

Akira nodded. “He’s lying.”

“It was our conversation about pancakes, way back at the TV station. Remember?” Morgana sat down. “He couldn’t have reacted the way he did back there had he not heard me.”

“He was lying to us,” Akira concluded. “Had he said nothing to us at the TV station, we never would have known. His poker face is incredible.”

Fatal mistake, Akechi. One small miscalculation.

Akira would just have to play along, act like he didn’t notice. Perhaps Akechi wasn’t the only one hiding his cards up his sleeves.

Game over.

* * *

 

_October 26th 2017_

_7:12 pm_

 

The school festival was okay. It was loud and crowded, and a bit overwhelming. On the bright side, Futaba had flooded Akira’s dms with pictures and videos of Akechi basically dying from the other day, and that was something to laugh at. He was almost tempted to change the background on his phone to that. Almost. Then that would mean removing the picture of himself and Yusuke from Hawaii, and honestly it just wasn’t worth it.

Yusuke had left about half an hour ago, leaving Akira stuck at the “after party” or whatever it was with Makoto and Haru.

Not that he had a problem with Makoto and Haru. It was quite the opposite, really.

Makoto was brilliant. She managed to keep everyone on the right path, was quick to pick up on signals or important information, stayed on task and in general she was just an amazing addition to the team. She was incredible in every way. Akira truly valued her as both a teammate, and a friend.

Haru, on the other hand, was incredible in her own way. She was as sweet as candy and somehow always remained optimistic. Akira believed everyone on the team was strong in their own way, but Haru was perhaps one of the strongest, physically and mentally. Somehow she was always composed, even given everything that had happened. She was always so unbelievably positive. In the Metaverse, however, she could only be described as ruthless. She may have been an amateur, but she was terrifying when given an axe. Her attacks were clean and sadistic; carefully planned around the enemy’s weak point. For someone so physically soft, Haru was absolutely brutal in combat.

The festival MC, some kid in the newspaper club Akira thought, talked loudly into a microphone up on stage. Or maybe he was on the debate team? Did Shujin even have a debate team? Makoto tucked a strand of hair behind one ear. “My apologies for being distracted. I can’t stop thinking about what Akechi-kun said earlier.” She sighed sadly.

Haru placed her hand comfortingly in Makoto’s arm, causing Makoto to turn about twenty shades of pink. “It’s okay, Mako-chan. We’re all thinking about it.”

God, their pining was going to be the death of Akira. Was this what Makoto and the others had to experience? If he had known waiting for two people to get together would have been this awkward, Akira would have asked out Yusuke a long time ago. Or maybe Yusuke asked him out? It didn’t matter. Fuck the emotional bullshit, right? Who needed feelings?

“I know, but, are we really no match for him?” Makoto asked. She bit her lip and gazed at the ground, her eyes glossy. Haru wrapped her arm around Makoto and rubbed comforting circles onto her back.

Akira had to resist the urge to tell them that they were actually one step ahead. Obviously they needed time to figure out what to do in this situation, but Akira just _knew_ that they had a chance. A skilled player needed to plan out their moves, right? It was way too early to slip his own cards into the pile. He needed to be patient.

Instead, Akira shoved his hands into his pockets. “We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about it for now though, okay?”

Makoto sighed somberly. “Right. My apologies.” She lifted her head up and raised an eyebrow at Akira. “Where’s your artist?”

Akira shrugged. “He had to leave. Something about train fares, I think.”

“You miss him already, don’t you?”

“Makoto I always miss him. You underestimate my emotional capacity.”

“Don’t you only have like three emotions?”

“Yes. Those emotions are love for Yusuke, longing because I miss Yusuke and that strange thrill you get when knocking down enemies in the Metaverse.”

Haru giggled. “Oh, I know that feeling. It’s exciting, isn’t it? All the control is suddenly in your hands.”

Makoto looked back and forth between the Haru and Akira in sheer horror. “My God. The two of you are a lot to handle.”

Akira shrugged once more. “So I’ve been told.”

At that point, the conversation was cut off by the festival MC. “And now, it’s time for your favorite Shujin tradition: the Shujin Sharing Special.”

“What’s that?” Akira’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. ‘Shujin sharing special?’ What kind of name was that?

Makoto pinched the bridge of her nose while Haru tried to actively avert her gaze from the stage.

“Shujin does this thing every year where they have students go up on stage, in front of everyone, and has to admit something about themselves.” Makoto rolled her eyes.

Haru gripped her forearm nervously. “Understandably, the students don’t like this one much. The staff, though…”

“The older teachers adore this event. Every year, we still have this, no matter how much we hate it.”

Akira wrinkled his nose in disgust. “That’s invasive. In some way, shape or form that can’t be legal.”

“You’d think, right?”

“Alright, who has something to say! Anyone?” The MC asked cheerfully. There was no reaction. “No one? Alright guess I’ll have to pick someone! Hmm…”

Something about this guy’s voice bothered Akira. He was like a cartoon character, really. A cartoon character that overreacted to everything.

“Hmm, how about the fluffy haired girl over there! I choose you!”

Haru jumped. Shock and fear crossed her face. “Wh-what?!”

“Well come on up!”

Somehow, Haru was ushered to the stage.

Makoto stared out wistfully. “Oh no… Haru….”

“Come on, Niijima. Let’s go see how this turns out.” Akira pressed his hand against Makoto’s back, right between her shoulder blades and pushed her forward, lightly. “We have a gardner to save.”

Akira guided Makoto to the front row and took a seat. He gave Haru a reassuring thumbs up, hoping she could see him. Judging by the stage lights, probably not. This entire thing was being treated like a performance, but much worse.

“And your name is?” The MC asked, shoving the microphone into Haru’s face. “Wait, are you Okumura-san…?!”

Haru exhaled audibly into the microphone. “Um… yes.”

“O-oh, well, uh… my condolences. I’m sure you’re, um, still grieving…”

“Please don’t worry.” Haru held her hands up in surrender and waved him off.

The MC paused awkwardly. “So, uh… Do you have anything you’d like to share with us?”

Haru shook her head, her discomfort written all over her posture. She moved one arm to clasp at the sleeve of her sweater. Her knees were turned slightly, as if getting ready to take off. Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip. It was hard to _not_ notice how uneasiness.

“Err… here, then, let me give you a question. Do you think the Phantom Thieves are really Shujin students?”

 _“Huh?!”_ Haru gasped. She moved her arms protectively in front of her face and made soft, sputtering sounds.

_Uh oh._

Makoto widened her eyes. “How could he ask her a question like that?” She hissed.

It’s not like the school knew Haru was a Phantom Thief… It was probably best to avoid saying so, just in case someone were to overhear.

It was time to change the subject. Akira sighed and stood up. “Hey! Haru Okumura!”

Makoto tugged at the bottom of his jacket. “What are you doing?! Sit down.”

He ignored her. Hey, maybe it was time to kill two birds with one stone. “Okumura-san. Do you have a boyfriend?” He spared a glance at Makoto out of the corner of his eye. “My friend here has a crush on you.”

“Akira!” Makoto elbowed his leg. Even in the limited lighting, the red glow on her cheeks was visible.

 _“What?!”_ Haru squeaked. Her face turned nearly the color of Makoto’s eyes. “I-I-, _what?”_

“Akira! Sit down. Right now.” Makoto made strange, frantic motions with her hands. “Please, for the love of God, sit down or I will hit you with your chair.”

He shrugged. “Haru, my friend really likes you. Since they won’t ask you, I will. Will you go out with them?” Akira signalled to Makoto. “They have short brown hair and is really responsible. They’re also telling me to sit down or else they’ll hit me with a chair, in which case you get to see a chair thrown at me. Please go out with them?”

Haru fanned her face with her hand while the MC made comments that Akira barely paid attention to.

“U-um… Maybe after this, if your friend wants to get coffee or something… I wouldn’t mind.” She turned her head away, but the crimson blush staining her pretty pale skin was visible from space.

Akira nudged Makoto lightly. “You’re welcome.”

“Akira Kurusu, you are on extremely thin ice.” Makoto growled.

He shrugged. “Well, I’m going to head home. Good luck on your date.” He waved a hand at her and stalked off. God, he needed a shower. Or Yusuke. Or both.

Both sounded good.

* * *

 

_October 27th 2017_

_12:04 am_

 

**Makoto Niijima → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **MN:** Akira you better have a good explanation for what happened at the festival tonight.

 **AK:** Yeah. Your pining was getting to be insane. You’re welcome.

 **MN:** That was completely uncalled for, you know.

 **AK:** Why? It changed the subject so Haru didn’t have to answer a question about the Phantom Thieves and potentially reveal that she’s a Phantom Thief, and you got to go on a date with a cute girl.

 **MN:** It wasn’t a date! We just got coffee, and talked…

 **AK:** Oh yeah? About what?

 **MN:** About what happened with Akechi-kun today, of course.

 **AK:** Uh huh.

 **MN:**...And, your little “stunt” a bit…

 **AK:** Okay.

 **AK:** And?

 **MN:** And… tomorrow we’re going to go to Dome Town together…

 **AK:** You mean like a date?

 **MN:**...Maybe…

 **AK:** Hey nice job! So does this mean you have a soft, pastel gardener girlfriend who’s also apparently a sadist?

 **MN:** Well… not quite.

 **MN:** That’s besides the point. You didn’t have to announce it in front of everyone like that. That was beyond extra.

 **AK:** Makoto you know I am nothing if not extra. I have to make a little show of everything, you know? At least you got a date out of it.

 **MN:** Fine. But I’m still annoyed with you.

 **AK:** That’s fair. One day you’ll look back and laugh on this moment, while sipping coffee and allowing your future wife to tie you up with leather rope.

 **MN:** Akira!

* * *

 

_October 27th 2017_

_9:10 am_

 

**Fuck Akechi**

 

 **Panther:** so are we going to talk about what happened yesterday?

 **Skull:** yea akechi is fukin blackmailin us

 **Panther:** ugh what are we going to do

 **Joker:** Well, it seems to me that he wants us to do something in the Metaverse, so that we can discover the true killer. Only question is what exactly does he want?

 **Panther:** maybe he wants us to change someones heart? wouldn’t be the first time we got requested to change someone else’s heart

 **Joker:** That is true, but we can’t confirm that. We’ll have to agree to his conditions first.

 **Joker:** Not that we really have a choice…

 **Skull:** fucking dammit this is such bullshiut

 **Panther:** bullshiut

 **Joker:** bullshiut

 **Skull:** fuck

 **Skull:** watever doesnt matter

 **Skull:** were being fucking blackmailed

 **Joker:** I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say “fuck” this many times.

 **Joker:** Rip.

 **Panther:** ugh

 **Joker:** In other news, apparently phallic objects represent power.

 **Panther:** …

 **Skull:** …

 **Panther:** why are you telling us this

 **Panther:** are you going to say some shit like “haha no wonder i’m the leader it’s because of my dick lol xD”

 **Joker:** Okay 1.) I would never use “lol xD”

 **Skull:** thank god

 **Joker:** I would use “lmao X3”

 **Skull:** FFS

 **Joker:** 2.) No. You think so lowly of me, Ann.

 **Joker:** I just thought it was slightly amusing that apparently _dicks mean power._

 **Joker:** _Think of what we can do with this information now._

 **Panther:** it’s slightly sexist :\

 **Joker:** If it means anything, you have bigger dick energy than Ryuji and I combined.

 **Skull:** i mean,,,id deny it but its tru

 **Panther:** who has the biggest dick energy?

 **Joker:** Makoto.

 **Skull:** makoto

 **Panther:** That’s...true.

 **Joker:** In order from biggest dick energy to smallest dick energy: Makoto, Yusuke, Ann, myself, Ryuji, Futaba.

 **Joker:** Not including Morgana because he’s a cat.

 **Panther:** why does yusuke have such big dick energy?

 **Joker:** Have you met him? He has huge dick energy.

 **Joker:** This isn’t just me being thirsty either.

 **Skull:** dude

 **Panther:** i hate that you’re right akira

 **Oracle:** UH EXCUSE YOU I HAVE BIGGER DICK ENERGY THAN RYUJI

 **Oracle:** I HAVE BIGGER DICK ENERGY THEN EVERYONE HERE

 **Oracle:** except makoto but no one has bigger dick energy than makoto

 **Joker:** Futaba has small dick energy

 **Oracle:** BITCH I CAN HACK INTO YOUR PHONE AND LEAK YOUR NUDES DONT TEST ME

 **Oracle:** THEN WELL SEE WHO HAS THE BIGGER DICK ENERGY

 **Joker:** I DON’T EVEN TAKE NUDES WHAT THE FUCK

 **Panther:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FONN-0uoTHI ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FONN-0uoTHI)

**Skull:** dead meme

 **Panther:** absolutlt

 **Skull:** stop

 **Joker:** Hey I have a question.

 **Panther:** yea?

 **Joker:** When Morgana turns into a bus, and we...enter the Mona bus…

 **Panther:** don’t phrase it like that!!

 **Joker:** Are we…

 **Joker:** Are we getting vored by Morgana?

 **Skull:** DUDE

 **Panther:** AKIRA WHAT THE HELL?!

 **Joker:** LOOK I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS SINCE LAST NIGHT SOMEONE JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION.

 **Oracle:** yes

 **Joker:** Fuck.

 **Skull:** no wtf

 **Fox:** I picked the wrong time to open the chat.

 **Joker:** Yusuke we’re getting vored by Morgana.

 **Fox:** I’m not participating in this conversation.

 **Oracle:** bitch you drew freddy fazbear mpreg art you have no right to act disgusted

 **Panther:** _i’m sorry yusuke did what_

 **Fox:** It’s not what you think.

 **Oracle:** fuckuinari.img

 **Oracle:** :3c

 **Skull:** yusuke r u sure it aint a kink

 **Fox:** Ryuji I am completely positive it’s not a kink.

 **Panther:** i have so many questions

 **Joker:** Uh same?

 **Joker:** Forget the vore, Yusuke why did you draw that.

 **Panther:** no wonder akira and yusuke go so well together

 **Skull:** christ

 **Fox:** It was a commission and I needed the money.

 **Oracle:** ^

 **Oracle:** its currently framed and hung up on my bedroom wall i love it

 **Oracle:** yo inari if i paid you would you write the words “fuck off cocksucker” in perfect calligraphy for me

 **Joker:** Oh my God.

 **Fox:** Why not.

 **Fox:** You wouldn’t have to pay me for that one, to be perfectly honest.

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Oracle:** dont you only have like 5 yen

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Yusuke, can I get that in calligraphy too?

 **Skull:** same

 **Panther:** same

 **Fox:** Okay.

 **Joker:** We can be matchy.

 **Joker:** Also you’re getting paid for it fuck you.

 **Fox:** That’s not necessary.

 **Joker:** No fuck you you’re getting paid and you better spend that money on food.

 **Fox:** …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what to say about this one. It's... pretty plot heavy here. Hey, at least we got some well deserved gay shit.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818


	38. "bible study"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panther: THE NAME OF THE GROUP IS BIBLE STUDY STOP HAILING SATAN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: slight anxiety attack

_October 27th 2017_

_10:12 pm_

 

**Fuck Akechi**

 

 **Joker:** @Everyone get your asses online we have news.

 **Skull:** wats up?

 **Panther:** yea?

 **Fox:** Is something wrong?

 **Queen:** Yes, Akira?

 **Oracle:** yo

 **Noir:** Yes?

 **Joker:** Damn that was fast.

 **Joker:** Okay here’s the deal

 **Joker:** So Akechi wants to meet up with us tomorrow to go over some shit. We still need to talk about what happened.

 **Panther:** yeah what are we going to do??

 **Joker:** We’re going to do the only thing we can do: accept his offer.

 **Skull:** im sorry were doin wat

 **Joker:** You heard me. We’re accepting his offer. It’s the only thing we can do.

 **Joker:** Besides, something tells me he’s not going to tell us his full plan until we agree to work with him. We still don’t entirely know what he plans once he has us on his side. However…

 **Queen:** How can we be sure he’s telling us the truth?

 **Joker:** We can’t. Don’t ask why, but something tells me he is lying to us, or at the very least isn’t telling the full truth. I can’t say how much was the truth, how much he was lying about, or how much he is/isn’t telling us, but there’s something very wrong with his statement, and I’m determined to find out what.

 **Fox:** How can you be so sure?

 **Joker:** I guess you can say it’s just a hunch.

 **Joker:** Either way, Morgana, Futaba and I have talked about it. Futaba is building something to help us out.

 **Oracle:** yup its almost done

 **Joker:** You’re amazing for a gremlin.

 **Oracle:** >:3

 **Joker:** Anyways yeah tomorrow night we’re meeting at the hideout to talk with Akechi.

 **Queen:** Wait a second Akira, aren’t we moving a little too fast here? How can you be so sure he’s lying? What evidence do you have to back it up?

 **Joker:** Makoto I get your concern but for right now you just need to trust me, okay? I’ll explain everything later but right now just trust me.

 **Noir:** I trust you akira-kun. Please do your best. You’ll explain everything when the time is right.

 **Queen:** Okay. I trust you.

 **Joker:** It will all be explained soon. Just wait it out a little, alright? I promise.

 **Panther:** we trust you akira

* * *

 

_October 28th 2017_

_12:19 am_

 

**Fuck Akechi**

 

 **Oracle:** so i have made a very important decision

 **Oracle:** i no longer want a throne of bones

 **Oracle:** well i do but it can wait

 **Fox:** Any particular reason for the sudden change?

 **Oracle:** im glad you asked inari

 **Fox:** Oh no.

 **Oracle:** instead of turning the bones collected into a throne

 **Oracle:** im going to vore them

 **Fox:** I’m sorry what.

 **Oracle:** you heard me

 **Fox:** I wish I hadn’t.

 **Oracle:** vore your bones

 **Fox:** Don’t do that.

 **Oracle:** bone vore

 **Fox:** No.

 **Joker:** Hey question why the fuck does this chat always manage to get more cursed than it already is.

 **Oracle:** ill vore your bones

 **Fox:** Futaba why are you like this.

 **Oracle:** furry

 **Fox:** Gremlin.

 **Oracle:** …

 **Oracle:** ok coming from you that hurts

 **Oracle:** you know what inari im just gonna vore your entire fucking skull

 **Fox:** Do not.

 **Joker:** Don’t vore bones.

 **Oracle:** akira im voring your boyfs bones

 **Joker:** No only I can vore his bones.

 **Fox:** Stop.

 **Joker:** Specifically one bone. That’s not a bone. And I’m not really voring it.

 **Joker:** … I’m saying I want to suck your dick Yusuke.

 **Fox:** I got that part. No you cannot.

 **Joker:** Damn.

 **Fox:** Don’t vore bones either.

 **Joker:** ASDFGHJNKM

 **Oracle:** hearing inari say it is so fucking surreal

 **Oracle:** or type it

 **Oracle:** bitch i know youre going to fucking correct me dont you dare

 **Joker:** Holy fucking shit I am so gay what the hell.

 **Oracle:** we know akira

 **Oracle:** he said vore once

 **Oracle:** you dont have to nut 8 times in a row and then furiously jack off to his picture jfc

 **Fox:** Unless you are actually interested in vore, in which case get help.

 **Joker:** AASFKJHSKJDFHSKJW

 **Joker:** I JUST FELL OFF OF MY FUCKING BED OH MY GOD

 **Joker:** MORGANA IS ACTUALLYT ABOUT TO CLAW ME I CANT STOP LAIGHING

 **Oracle:** i take back everything i previously said

 **Oracle:** inari is now my new favorite

 **Fox:** I would say it’s an honor but it really is not.

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Oracle:** nvm im voring your fucking teeth

 **Fox:** Teeth are not bones.

 **Joker:** Wait what.

 **Fox:** [ bones.img ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/472607972581703690/492072440634015755/unknown.png)

**Fox:** They aren’t bones.

 **Oracle:** WELL FUCK YOU THEN

 **Oracle:** ILL VORE YOUR FUCKING SPINE INSTEAD

 **Oracle:** THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU YIFF BITCH

 **Joker:** Yiff bitch im,,,

 **Joker:** FUTABA STOP CORRUPTING MY ARTIST

 **Oracle:** HE WAS ALREADY CORRUPTED FUCK YOU

 **Oracle:** ILL VORE YOUR BONES

 **Joker:** DON’T VORE MY BONES THEY ARE RESERVED

 **Fox:** Akira why are you so thirsty please calm down.

 **Oracle:** HA

 **Oracle:** GET FUCKING SHAMED AKIRA

 **Joker:**..

 **Joker:** I take it back you’re both fucking demons. Ryuji is the only one I need in my life. The rest of you are monsters.

 **Joker:** @Skull Congratulations you’re my favorite.

 **Skull:** aw yis

 **Skull:** yusuke im stealin ur man

 **Fox:** Take him.

 **Joker:** Wow rude love you too

 **Oracle:** ryuji im going to vore your bones

 **Skull:** hey uh

 **Skull:** dont do that tf

 **Joker:** Now you see why I no longer want this gremlin in my life.

 **Skull:** yea thts fair

 **Oracle:** >:(

 **Oracle:** rude

 **Oracle:** hey akira

 **Oracle:** now that ryujis your favorite are you gonna try to vore his bone too

 **Skull:** wh

 **Skull:** u say that like i only have 1 bone

 **Oracle:** akira knows what im talking about

 **Joker:** No that’s cheating. I might be thirsty but I’m not a cheater.

 **Oracle:** its not cheating if he knows and is ok with it

 **Skull:** the hell r u referring to

 **Fox:** At this point I have already acknowledged the fact that Akira is a rather… promiscuous person.

 **Oracle:** youre fine with that?

 **Fox:** I don’t care as long as he’s not seeing anyone without my knowledge.

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** In that case…

 **Joker:** Ryuji I’m going to fuck you.

 **Skull:** UH LIKE HELL YOU ARE WTF DUDE

 **Fox:** …

 **Fox:** Is it too late to change my mind about that last part?

 **Oracle:** yup

 **Fox:** I have made a mistake.

 **Skull:** yusuke u can have ur man back

 **Fox:** Thanks, but I don’t want him.

 **Skull:** come get ur man i cant keep him

 **Fox:** Fine.

 **Joker:** You make it sound like I’m a pet what the hell guys.

 **Oracle:** i mean you are inaris bitch

 **Skull:** DFGHJKL;

 **Joker:** ASDKJSFKJ

 **Fox:** I have no comment.

 **Oracle:** hey akira

 **Oracle:** are you a furry

 **Joker:** Uh what

 **Oracle:** youre dating group furry #1

 **Oracle:** that makes you a furry by default

 **Oracle:** group furry #3

 **Skull:** whos 2

 **Oracle:** ann

 **Skull:** makes sense

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** You know what yes I am a furry.

 **Skull:** qwaesrdfgh

 **Oracle:** knew it

 **Oracle:** fuckin furry

 **Joker:** Thanks I didn’t ask for this.

 **Skull:** yea u did

 **Oracle:** yes you did

 **Fox:** You sort of did.

 **Joker:** Fucc

* * *

 

_October 28th 2017_

_8:10 pm_

 

**Fuck Akechi**

 

 **Joker:** So I guess this is where we’re at, huh…

 **Noir:** He really did want us to change a heart after all

 **Joker:** How’s Makoto holding up?

 **Noir:** She’s ok. I’m making us some tea right now. She doesn’t seem to want to talk about what happened, at least not yet.

 **Joker:** That’s fine. We won’t press her to talk about it right now but..we do have to talk about it now. She doesn’t have to contribute to the discussion but as long as she reads these messages later.

 **Noir:** Got it. I’ll make sure she reads everything.

 **Joker:** So. Sae has a palace.

 **Noir:** Apparently so…

 **Joker:** Have you ever met Makoto’s sister, Haru?

 **Noir:** No. I’ve heard about her and maybe one day i can meet her though.

 **Joker:** Well, the way it looks, we have to change Sae’s heart so you’re going to get to meet her real soon.

 **Skull:** woulda been nice 2 kno before that sae has a palace

 **Joker:** Yeah well…

 **Joker:** It would have, given that she’s been on our ass since probably Kaneshiro, but what can you really do. Makoto didn’t think it was important until now.

 **Skull:** so what do you think leader? we doin this?

 **Joker:** We have no choice.

 **Noir:** Something has been bothering me about akechi-kun…

 **Skull:** wdym

 **Noir:** Something just doesn’t seem right. He seems so intent on finding the true culprit, and he thinks that he truly is doing the right thing, yet from the beginning he’s thought us guilty…

 **Joker:** That’s true. Shortly after Madarame, Akechi announced on live TV that he believes we’re criminals, yet now he wants us to work with him?

 **Skull:** its such bullshit obviously we aint the ones who believe in “false justice” or w/e the fuck hes been spouting on about

 **Joker:** You can’t sat we’re “false justice” but at the same time… It’s really morally gray. We are doing some good in the world but in a way that’s kind of sketchy. Yes, we are saving people. Look at Yusuke and Futaba and Haru. We saved all three of them from horrible people, but the way we went about it, we went behind the target’s back and forced them to confess. It really is a gray area, and the police seem to think we lean more towards evil than good.

 **Joker:** I do see where you’re coming from. Everyone on this team has been saved from some corrupt adult.

 **Skull:** yea exactly

 **Skull:** if the media knew we were actually savin people who needed it they would see things from our view right?

 **Joker:** It’s possible. Still, do you really want to be the one to come forward and say “The Phantom Thieves saved me from Asshole Squidward.” They probably wouldn’t believe you and it would paint a bright red target on you.

 **Joker:** Hell, half of us are already considered suspicious due to our ties with previous targets.

 **Noir:** It’s true. Me, ryuji-kun, ann-chan and yusuke-kun are probably the most suspicious given how obvious our ties are to some of the previous targets. Keeping our heads down has been difficult.

 **Joker:** Yeah. It’s no wonder we were caught. Our little band of misfits is completely suspicious.

 **Joker:** In our group we have the criminal transfer student who carries around a cat, the delinquent who was kicked off the track team for assault, Kamoshida’s girl, Madarame’s ex-pupil, the student council president, a random girl that no one has ever seen before, and Okumura’s daughter. With the exception of Futaba, Makoto and myself, we all have clear traces to some of the previous targets.

 **Skull:** wat r u sayin akira

 **Joker:** I’m saying it’s no wonder we got caught. If we don’t act soon, more people are going to catch on. Either we get caught or some innocent person gets framed by the police for our behavior. Sae is corrupt and if we don’t change her heart than who knows who will get hurt.

 **Noir:** He’s right. I don’t like what akechi-kun is doing but we have to do this.

 **Skull:** this just dont sit right with me

 **Joker:** It doesn’t sit right with any of us.

 **Joker:** I have to talk to Futaba about something. The rest of you, try to get some rest. We’ll talk about it more tomorrow morning, okay?

 **Skull:** gotcha

 **Noir:** Good luck akira-kun.

 **Joker:** Thank you. I promise we’re going to get some answers very soon.

* * *

 

_October 28th 2017_

_8:15 pm_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Futaba Sakura**

 

 **AK:** How’s it going,

 **FS:** just about done

 **FS:** give me about an hour

 **FS:** i need to finish troubleshooting

 **FS:** i think i see the problem though

 **FS:** yeah give me an hour

 **FS:** ill head over when im done

 **AK:** You’re doing great. Thank you little gremlin.

 **FS:** (σﾟ∀ﾟ)σ

* * *

 

_October 28th 2017_

_9:40 pm_

 

Approximately twenty minutes after arriving at Leblanc, Futaba showed off her newest creation and then passed out on the couch in Akira’s attic.

Morgana’s tail swished back and forth as he eyed her sleeping form from the other side of the room. Who was to say how long she’d be out. She may have been obnoxious and annoying sometimes, but he had to admit that she had done some great things for the team.

Akira shoved his hands in his jean pockets. Anxiety was written all over his face, in a way that wouldn’t have been obvious to anyone else. Had Morgana not spent so much time around the guy, he never would have been able to pick up on it.

“You think it’ll work?” Akira asked. His voice was quiet, and flat, as per usual.

Morgana nodded once. It had to work. Futaba was an expert, and it was the only shot they had. “We won’t know until we try.”

Akira jerked his head in Futaba’s direction. “What about…”

“Let her sleep. She’s been up for days working on it.” Morgana padded across the table he stood on.

“You’re right.” Akira ran a hand through his messy hair. “What do you think Akechi might be planning?”

“Who can say. Either way, he’s definitely lying about something.” Morgana considered. Mentally, he went over all the information Akechi had provided them.

  * Akechi had a persona
  * Apparently he had seen the true culprit
  * He claimed to have only entered the Metaverse a month ago
  * He wanted to change Sae’s heart
  * Sae had a palace
  * He wanted the help of the Phantom Thieves
  * The Phantom Thieves were unjust
  * The Phantom Thieves were to disband after changing Sae’s heart
  * If the Phantom Thieves didn’t cooperate, Akechi would reveal their identities and have them arrested
  * If the Phantom Thieves didn’t cooperate, then someone else was likely to be framed for their crimes



Just thinking about it left a bitter taste in Morgana’s mouth.

Akechi had heard him talking. He had heard the pancake conversation at the TV station.

The part about only having entered the Metaverse a month ago was a clear lie. It had been much longer than a single month.

In the words of Akira, Akechi fucked up. He fucked up and had no idea they fucked up. In a sense, that meant the Phantom Thieves were ahead of him, if by a small amount. How long until they had definite answers was only a matter of time. They would just have to wait until Futaba’s application was installed into Akechi’s phone. From there, they’d have all they needed.

Then, it was _game over._

Akira smirked. “We’ll just have to wait and see.”

* * *

 

_October 29th 2017_

_9:18 pm_

 

**Fuck Akechi**

 

 **Queen:** Akira, I know we already added him to the main Phantom Thief group chat but should we add Akechi to this chat as well?

 **Skull:** nooo dont do that

 **Panther:** half the reason this chat was created was to shit on akechi why would we add him

 **Queen:** So he doesn’t get suspicious of our activity and feels included in the team?

 **Oracle:** thats dumb we dont need him

 **Fox:** Why do we feel the need to include him, we’re being blackmailed. That doesn’t sound like a “teammate” to me.

 **Skull:** ^

 **Panther:** ^

 **Oracle:** ^

 **Queen:** _It’s to avoid raising suspicion._

 **Queen:** Either way, I wasn’t asking you four. I was asking Akira.

 **Skull:** @joker

 **Skull:** ya got to @ the boy makoto

 **Fox:** I’ll tell him to answer his phone.

 **Queen:** Thank you, Yusuke.

 **Panther:** gay

 **Fox:** Your point, Ann?

 **Joker:** Hhh what do you want

 **Panther:** are we adding akechi to this group chat?

 **Joker:** hhhhhhhhhhhhh hold on

 **Joker:** Hey Futaba you want to delete the chat history so he can’t scroll through and find the part where we called him a twink as well as other things.

 **Panther:** you mean the part where you said you would fuck him?

 **Fox:** …

 **Joker:** _I didn’t say that shut up._

 **Panther:** _yes you did stop trying to deny it_

 **Oracle:** done

 **Joker:** _i never said that you have no proof_

 **Queen:** Um what about the chat name.

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Hold on I’m coming up with a good name.

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Bible Study_ ** _~_

 **Panther:** AKIRA

 **Oracle:** PFFFT

 **Skull:** dude

 **Fox:** This group is the furthest thing from “bible study” but okay.

 **Joker:** At least it’s not Fuck Akechi anymore.

 **Fox:** “Bible Study” just raises more questions.

 **Joker:** _We’re a bible study group now accept it._

 **Joker:** Besides you made me t-pose in a church.

 **Fox:** You were the one who offered to take your clothes off in a church.

 **Joker:** You would have let me had we not been in a church.

 **Oracle:** guys stop fucking in a church thats disprespectful

 **Fox:** We’re not?

 **Joker:** If I were given the okay I would fuck anywhere.

 **Skull:** dude

 **Panther:** hey akira?

 **Joker:** Yeah?

 **Panther:** [ thot.jpg ](https://4.imimg.com/data4/TM/CX/MY-2801063/packaged-drinking-water-bottle-500x500.jpg)

**Joker:** Thanks Ann.

 **Queen:** If you’re all done, then I’ll add Akechi to the group.

 **Joker:** Thanks Makoto.

 _~_ **_Queen_ ** _has added_ **_Goro Akechi_ ** _to the chat~_

 _~_ **_Queen_ ** _has changed_ **_Goro Akechi’s_ ** _name to_ **_Crow_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** Makoto this is exactly why I made you mod.

 **Joker:** Hey Akechi.

 **Crow:** Oh, hello. What is this?

 **Fox:** A group chat, can’t you tell.

 **Oracle:** no shit inari

 **Crow:** I’m aware of that much, haha. I mean what is this chat?

 **Joker:** We’re trying to keep the main group chat clutter free so we basically just screw around here.

 **Crow:** I see.

 **Oracle:** wait

 **Oracle:** now that akechi is in the chat

 **Oracle:** initiation

 **Crow:** Initiation?

 **Oracle:** ant tamogatchi and ryobi socialmotorboat

 **Oracle:** are you ready

 **Joker:** Oh no..

 **Panther:** always

 **Skull:** hell yes

 **Joker:** You guys just won’t let this joke die will you

 **Oracle:** everyone else already has a fucky version of their names

 **Oracle:** crow deserves one now

 **Crow:** What?

 **Oracle:** >:3

 **Panther:** what are you thinking fruity squirrel

 **Oracle:** hmm

 **Oracle:** gore sketchy

 **Crow:** Excuse me?

 **Panther:** its perfect

 **Skull:** i love it

 **Joker:** Ignore them. They’re just being _assholes._

 **Joker:** _Let the joke die you heathens._

 **Oracle:** _never_

 **Panther:** accept it africa

 **Joker:** Stop it

 **Oracle:** itll never stop

 **Joker:** Jesus christ you’re all gremlins

 **Crow:** I must say, I was not aware you were all religious.

 **Skull:** uh wat

 **Crow:** “Bible study.”

 **Panther:** oh yeah hahaha

 **Panther:** we looove jesus and all that hahah!! welcome to bible study!!

 **Skull:** hail satan

 **Joker:** ASGDTHFY

 **Panther:** RYUJI THAT’S THE WRONG ONE

 **Skull:** LISTEN

 **Oracle:** [ biblestudy.gif ](https://media.giphy.com/media/77f2SrKYNOnYs/giphy.gif)

**Panther:** THE NAME OF THE GROUP IS BIBLE STUDY STOP HAILING SATAN

 **Fox:** Praise Muhammad.

 **Panther:** YUSUKE NO

 **Oracle:** PFFFT INARI HOLY FUCK

 **Joker:** _Holy shit that is the man I want to marry what the fuck._

 **Queen:** Can you five please try to be mature for once in your lives.

 **Joker:** Nah.

 **Queen:** No, we are not a bible study, I don’t know why the group name is “Bible Study.” The chat name changes rather frequently, so give it a few days.

 **Joker:** Praise Allah?

 **Queen:** No.

* * *

 

_October 29th 2017_

_10:01 pm_

 

 _~_ **_Akira Kurusu_ ** _has added_ **_Ryuji Sakamoto_ ** _to the chat~_

 _~_ **_Akira Kurusu_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_Joker_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has added_ **_Ann Takamaki_ ** _to the chat~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has added_ **_Yusuke Kitagawa_ ** _to the chat~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has added_ **_Makoto Niijima_ ** _to the chat~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has added_ **_Futaba Sakura_ ** _to the chat~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has added_ **_Haru Okumura_ ** _to the chat~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Ryuji Sakamoto’s_ ** _name to_ **_Skull_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Ann Takamaki’s_ ** _name to_ **_Panther_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Yusuke Kitagawa’s_ ** _name to_ **_Fox_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Makoto Niijima’s_ ** _name to_ **_Queen_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Futaba Sakura’s_ ** _name to_ **_Oracle_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Haru Okumura’s_ ** _name to_ **_Noir_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Talk Shit Get Hit_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has promoted_ **_Queen_ ** _to_ **_Moderator_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** There we go.

 **Panther:** uhh akira? what is this?

 **Joker:** Another group chat. Akechi is in our other chat so we can’t shit talk him there.

 **Joker:** Also… there’s a reason I told Futaba to delete that shit earlier.

 **Noir:** What’s going on akira-kun?

 **Joker:** Yeah...it’s time we provided you guys with some answers.

 **Joker:** Morgana and I noticed something, when we were talking to Akechi in the faculty lounge. Ann and Ryuji might recall this.

 **Joker:** Do you guys remember the trip to the TV station, and how Akechi approached us before filming started?

 **Panther:** yeah why?

 **Ryuji:** yup. wat about it?

 **Joker:** Remember when we were talking about Dome Town?

 **Panther:** yeah…?

 **Skull:** where r u goin with this

 **Joker:** Morgana described it as “the pancake looking building.”

 **Joker:** Akechi heard Morgana say that. He even asked us about pancakes while we were talking to him.

 **Panther:** oh…

 **Skull:**...shit

 **Queen:**..Oh my God.

 **Noir:** No…

 **Joker:** No one can hear Morgana unless they’ve been in the Metaverse.

 **Joker:** Akechi lied to us. Morgana was the only one talking about pancakes, and Akechi heard it.

 **Skull:** that bastard

 **Oracle:** thats not all

 **Joker:** Morgana and I approached Futaba with this, and asked her to make something for us.

 **Oracle:** some of my best work if you ask me

 **Joker:** She developed a program that was unknowingly installed into Akechi’s phone. It allows us to overhear and record his phone conversations and some of the contents of his phone.

 **Panther:** well?? have you gotten anything worth wild yet??

 **Oracle:** not yet

 **Oracle:** unless you count his depressing search history

 **Oracle:** also if anyone is interested i can probably dig up his porn preferences

 **Skull:** thats..ok futaba

 **Panther:** we don’t need to know that

 **Queen:** Your efforts are appreciated but we don’t need..that.

 **Oracle:** you sure? while i was at it i was also able to dig up saes cup size >:3

 **Queen:** Futaba!

 **Panther:** that’s impressive if not slightly invasive

 **Joker:** What’s on Pancake Boy’s search history?

 **Oracle:** its really depressing actually

 **Oracle:** “how to pretend to be happy”

 **Oracle:** “what do you do when the person you like is in a relationship”

 **Oracle:** “healthy methods for coping with daddy issues”

 **Oracle:** damn no wonder he fits in with the team so well

 **Oracle:** and i thought i had problems

 **Oracle:** oh and then theres this gem

 **Oracle:** “how to avoid punching idiots in the face”

 **Oracle:** same akechi

 **Oracle:**  what a fucking mood

 **Queen:** Okay Futaba, we’ve seen enough. Let’s focus on finding out what he’s planning.

 **Panther:** why would akechi lie to us?

 **Joker:** To trick us into going along with whatever he’s plotting.

 **Fox:** Only question is what is he plotting…

 **Joker:** That’s what we’re trying to figure out.

 **Joker:** All we can do is wait, I suppose. See if we can find what we need.

* * *

 

_October 30th 2017_

_8:46 pm_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Joker:** Good work today, guys. Sae’s palace is the most difficult one we have yet to face, but if we keep going at this rate we should find her treasure in no time.

 **Queen:** Compliments aren’t going to get you anywhere, Akira.

 **Joker:** Oh come on. I wasn’t the only one, everyone else was checking her out.

 **Queen:** Maybe so but you were the only one to verbalize it. You’re lucky you’re not dead where you stand.

 **Joker:** My face and heart still hurt what’s your point.

 **Queen:** My point is don’t call my sister’s shadow attractive or I will break your limbs.

 **Crow:** Niijima-san, I get that you’re upset about this, as you have every right to be, but please calm down. Hopefully our leader will keep his comments to himself from now on. Right, Kurusu?

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Fine but only because Yusuke is pissed at me.

 **Skull:** y is yusuke pissed at u

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** You know I didn’t realize my boyfriend was the jealous type until now.

 **Skull:** _wat did u do holy shit_

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Remember when we came face to face with shadow Sae for the first time?

 **Skull:** yea nd u said “fuckin nice” like a moron

 **Queen:** Don’t remind me, Ryuji. You’re lucky you weren’t thrown out the second story window.

 **Skull:** I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING

 **Queen:** You did nothing to hide your obvious staring, either.

 **Skull:** AT LEAST IM NOT THE DUMBASS WHO WENT “FUCKIN HOT”

 **Joker:** ANYWAYS

 **Joker:** When I said that Yusuke heard me and now he won’t talk to me.

 **Skull:** @fox talk to ur man he wont stop pouting

 **Fox:** I’m sorry, you appear to be mistaken. I’m single.

 **Skull:** PFFT

 **Joker:** YUSUKE I’M SORRY

 **Fox:** Hmm I can’t read that.

 **Joker:** OKAY LISTEN SHE’S FUCKING HOT BUT THAT CHANGES NOTHING

 **Joker:** YOU’RE MY ONE AND ONLY PLEASE TALK TO ME I’M SORRY

 **Queen:** Akira you may want to watch your phrasing :)

 **Skull:** dangerous smiley...

 **Fox:** Still can’t read, that’s strange.

 **Skull:** he says shadow sae is hot but ur his one and only

 **Skull:** also he wants u to talk to him

 **Fox:** Tell him I’ll consider it.

 **Skull:** akira he said hell consider talking to u again

 **Joker:** Fuck.

 **Crow:** I never realized just how lively this bunch would be.

 **Skull:** surprise

 **Joker:** Here we have relationship drama, cursed art, and dumb microwave shenanigans

 **Skull:** nd we fuck with peoples names

 **Joker:** _No we do not shut the fuck up._

 **Skull:** africa kangaroo

 **Queen:** I still don’t understand that joke…

 **Skull:** mascara nimrod

 **Queen:** Exactly.

 **Skull:** gore sketchy

 **Crow:** That’s not my name...

 **Skull:** yugio kitwater

 **Fox:** Makoto at this point I find it best to stop asking those kind of questions.

 **Queen:** That’s… a fair point.

 **Queen:** I don’t get this group sometimes.

 **Joker:** I don’t get why Yusuke still isn’t talking to me come on I’m sorry.

 **Queen:** Akira you are on very thin ice with both of us right now. If I were you I would suggest just staying quiet.

 **Joker:** :(

 **Joker:** Wait shit. I just got to Leblanc with Futaba and Sojiro looks pissed. Uhh better deal with this be back later.

* * *

 

_October 30th 2017_

_8:54 pm_

 

As soon as they stepped through the door, Akira knew something was wrong.

The atmosphere was heavy, like someone had put a gun to his back, or Akechi had just walked in in the middle of a conversation about him. Already, Akira didn’t know if he could breathe properly.

Futaba, apparently, who had decided to tag along and walk to Leblanc with Akira, didn’t notice. “We’re home.” She announced joyfully.

Sojiro sat at one of the barstools, not even batting an eyelash in their direction. He said nothing.

“Sojiro…?” Futaba questioned. She instinctively moved her hands by her face, like a dog begging for food.

Instead of responding, however, Sojiro swept something off the counter and held it up for her and Akira to see.

_Oh shit…_

A familiar, black and red colored index card was forcefully shoved into the faces of Akira and Futaba. A calling card… Had Futaba _kept_ her calling card?!

“I was cleaning up, and I found this,” Sojiro spoke slowly and timidly. The calm before the storm, Akira though. Immediately he knew everything was going to go very wrong, very fast.

Futaba jumped, followed by a soft gasp.

“This is a calling card, right? I read about them online.” Sojiro set the card down on the counter.

“Y-you went through my stuff without permission?!” Futaba growled.

Mentally, Akira cursed. He hated it when people argued in front of him. For the most part, he liked to consider himself a grounded person but… Arguing and yelling always got to him. It probably had something to do with his childhood, and his actual parents. Maybe he could defuse the bomb before it inevitably exploded.

“Hey, Futaba, that’s not what’s important right now. Uh…” Akira approached Futaba. She waved him off.

“No, you don’t understand. That was behind the picture Inari drew for me. Remember? I framed it and put it on my wall? And it’s a huge invasion of my privacy, I...” She clenched her fists and turned back to Sojiro. “Why would you go through my stuff like that?”

Akira bit his lip. _Dammit…_

“I’ll apologize as much as you want later,” Sojiro lifted up the card once more. For the first time that night, he turned to look Futaba in the eye. “So, you want to explain this to me?”

“That’s…” Futaba folded her hands behind her back and aimed her gaze awkwardly at the ground. Her voice shook; the beginning of an anxiety attack, Akira suspected.

“Is it something to get flustered over?” Sojiro grunted. “I knew it. This isn’t just some ‘game’ you’re playing.”

Futaba remained silent. Her gaze was still aimed at the ground. Her legs began to shake.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Morgana poked his head out from Akira’s bag. “Why did you keep it?!” He hissed. Akira shoved his head back into his bag before he made matters worse.

Futaba shook her head. “I mean… It was memorable…” She whispered. Her voice rose and dropped several octaves.

Sojiro slammed the calling card back onto the counter. “Explain.”

Futaba hugged her arms to her chest and made a noise like a whimper in response. Her breathing suddenly became more shallow.

Sojiro raised an eyebrow in skepticism. “What? Is it something you can’t explain?”

Futaba made a few more strangled, panicked noises. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes.

Akira stepped forward, guarding her protectively. “Listen, I’ll explain everything. Don’t blame Futaba for this.”

Futaba grabbed hold of his uniform jacket and clutched it like her life depended on it.

“Oh? Well then I’ll get right to the point,” Sojiro growled. His face was pure stone; as cold as pure ice. “Is this a ‘real’ calling card? Was a ‘change of heart’ triggered in you, Futaba?”

She buried her face in her hands and a few ragged sobs escaped from her. Her entire body shook.

Apparently, that was enough of an answer. “How ‘bout it…” Sojiro sighed in exasperation.

Futaba sniffled. Somehow, she managed to pull her hands away from her face and stammer out a semi-coherent sentence. “Ever since… Mom died… there was… no escape. I-I was..trapped. In my own h-heart, and..” Her voice cracked violently. “I..I had to leave it but..I couldn’t do it by m-myself…” She choked out another sob.

Sojiro pinched the bridge of his nose. “Here, sit down.” Concern somehow wedged its way into his otherwise embittered words. “I can at least listen to what you have to say.”

She nodded and slid into one of the booths, pulling Akira along with her. She tugged at one of Akira’s sleeves. He got the message and put an arm around her in comfort. Sojiro slid into the seat across from them, and the calling card was placed in the center of the table.

Futaba wiped at her eyes. They waited a few moments for her to calm down. At some point, a glass of water was set in front of her.

“T-the Phantom Thieves… they saved me… They stole… my messed up heart. I-it’s the same as Mom’s research, they changed my cognition.” Her voice cracked once again. She pressed her face into Akira’s side. He held her there, softly rubbing comforting patterns into her back. Sometimes she was a gremlin, but at the end of the day, Futaba was still part of the team. She was probably closer to Akira than anyone else, even Ryuji who he had known from day one. In every way except biologically, Akira considered her his younger sister.

Sojiro closed his eyes. Under his breath he muttered a frustrated “seriously” and sighed once more. “Wakaba’s research about altering one’s cognition… I wondered about it myself, too, but still…

Akira swallowed. “When did you notice Futaba’s change of heart?” He managed to ask.

“When she said she was going to the beach out of nowhere. Even the doctors had thrown in the towel. At first, I just chalked it up as as other kids being better support for you than any other adult,” The last part was aimed at Futaba. “But as I kept watching the tabloid shows here day in and day out, a thought crossed my mind. I thought… your case was similar to that of what the Phantom Thieves had been doing.”

Futaba pulled her face away from Akira’s chest, but still kept his arm around her, similar to that of a security blanket. “...Wow.”

“I’m still your guardian, you know. I’d never overlook such a drastic change in your behavior. But to think that Wakaba’s research and the Phantom Thieves changing hearts were about the same thing…” Sojiro rubbed the back of his neck. He shook his head. “Back in the day, I used to be a government official. My job was to be the bridge between the country and the lab that Wakaba worked at. That’s how I got to know her. One night, we went out drinking and she said something… odd. She said that she might die soon, in a strange way. I just laughed it off, and took it as a joke, but it happened exactly as she said. If anything were to happen to you, Futaba, I’d feel like I let her down.” He turned his attention to Akira. “Hey, there’s something I want to ask you, Akira.”

Akira nodded. “Okay.”

“Judging from your attitude, you knew about this calling card, didn’t you?”

Akira’s heart fell into the pit of his stomach.

Sojiro continued on. “You should have known that Futaba had a change of heart through the Phantom Thieves as well,” His eyebrows furrowed. “Is there a connection between you and them?”

_Shit._

“The first incident of a change of heart was a teacher at your school.”

_Shit fuck._

“One of your friends was the pupil of that artist who had a change of heart. And then, there’s Futaba…”

_Shit shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck._

“These scandals always seem to find a way around you. What do you have to say?”

_FUCK._

Akira bit harshly on his tongue, aggressively racking his brain for the right words. Internally, the only words coming to mind were different variations of _fuck shit son of a bitch I am so fucking screwed what the hell._  Akira considered slamming his hands on the table, screaming the words “I PLEAD THE FIFTH” and sprinting out of there as fast as he could possibly run. Funny enough, “plead the fifth” wasn’t even a thing in Japan. He wasn’t entirely sure where he got that from. Sojiro wouldn’t appreciate it, anyways. At that point, Akira would probably just be kicked out. If it hadn’t worked for Makoto, it sure as hell wasn’t going to work for Sojiro.

Instead, Akira exhaled through his nose. “You’re sharp.”

“You think this is a game?” Sojiro scolded.

_Wrong answer._

“These people are called criminals by the general public. You, of all people, should know that, Akira.”

_Ouch. Below the belt, Sojiro. Below the belt._

“Why did you introduce such dangerous people to Futaba?” Sojiro growled.

A dark shadow overcame Akira, swarming his mind like a wasps nest. Something ached in the back of his head but he couldn’t be sure what.

“T-that’s not true!” Futaba yelped. “I asked them to help me! That’s why Akira saved me! He stole my heart.”

Akira shook his head. They didn’t steal her heart. Futaba was the treasure herself, and she was never stolen.

Sojiro widened his eyes. “... ‘Asked?’ ‘Stole?’”

Futaba clamped a hand over her mouth, realizing just what she said.

“Wait, are you saying _he’s_ the one that stole your heart?” Sojiro barked out. “Are you saying he’s not connected to the Phantom Thieves, but he is one himself? You’re pulling my leg, aren’t you?”

Akira chewed on his lip in anxiety. How did he answer this? There really was no getting around it…

Anxiously he tugged at a lock of his hair. “...I’m a Phantom Thief.”

“...Are you serious? You really are a Phantom Thief? For crying out loud,” Sojiro pressed a hand over his head, like the mere thought was giving him a headache. “Jesus, kid, I told you not to get into any trouble while you were here. These past six months I’ve been sheltering a Phantom Thief? And on top of that, Futaba’s involved, too? What the hell…”

“...If it means anything, we never ‘stole’ Futaba’s heart. We helped her to take back her own heart. There was nothing for us to steal. She stole back what was hers, and we just helped her… find her way.” Akira began to trail off towards the end. Sojiro didn’t know how they went about stealing hearts, so whatever Akira had just explained wouldn’t make much sense.

“I want to find the culprit who killed my mom.” Futaba demanded.

“‘Killed?’” Sojiro sputtered.

“She suffered a mental shutdown,” Akira explained. “The process of that is… similar to stealing a heart.”

Futaba nodded in confirmation. “She was killed. I remember it now.”

“Stop this nonsense!” Sojiro bellowed.

Futaba curled her hands into fists. “Why won’t you believe me?! Are you the same as everybody else?!” More tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill down. “Didn’t you know already?! The way mom died wasn’t normal!” Her voice gradually rose in frustration. “Didn’t you notice that her research was stolen by someone?!”

No one said anything for a few beats. The only noise in the cafe came from Futaba’s ragged breathing. If someone were to drop a pin, it would be heard.

Finally, Sojiro sighed once more. “When she passed away, I did think it was odd. Something was wrong about it, but what could I do? All I was able to do was run from it all. And the outcome of that was… this. The reason I took you into custody was me trying to selfishly atone for what happened to Wakaba. It’s my fault that you got burdened with all this crap, and I’m sorry.”

Futaba shook her head. “It’s not your fault, Sojiro.”

“I acted all big. Lectured, even yelled at you kids, and in the end I’m the one being consoled. I’m a hopeless laughing stalk, aren’t I.” Sojiro exhaled. “I won’t tell anyone that you’re a Phantom Thief, Akira. You can use this place to gather if you need. Just say the words, and I can close up shop early. Besides, not like we’re getting many customers anyway.”

Akira let out a breath of air he hadn’t been aware he was holding. “..Thank you.”

“By the way, Futaba, I have… a question for you.”

Futaba looked up, adjusting her headphones slightly. “Yeah?”

Sojiro stood up and pulled something from out behind the counter. “That calling card… It was behind a very ‘strange’ drawing in your room,” Sojiro pointedly avoided her gaze and set the framed drawing on the table. “Uh… I don’t really know how to put this but…”

Akira leaned over to peak at it and nearly choked. A very detailed Freddy Fazbear from _Five Nights at Freddy’s_ was perfectly sketched with a visibly large belly. The rabbit animatronic, Bonnie, maybe, held a hand over Freddy’s stomach. Akira physically cringed. _Yusuke, why._

Futaba giggled. “Inari drew that for me. I hung it up in my room to punish people who went looking through my stuff without my permission.”

“‘Inari?’ You mean…”

“The weird artist who hangs around here a lot,” She shared a look with Akira and snickered, then lightly elbowed him in the side. “Great taste in boys you got there, Akira. You can even see his signature, right by Freddy’s baby bump. ‘Fox,’ see?”

Akira shook his head. “Okay but you asked him to draw it for you. You even paid him.”

“I didn’t tell him to include Bonnie in it, either. That’s your boyfriend, Akira.”

“Okay, listen--”

“It’s the new ‘Sayuri,’” She giggled again. There was the gremlin Akira knew so well.

Sojiro raised an eyebrow in concern. “Akira, are you sure you fully changed her heart? I’m… pretty sure that’s not something someone without some form of distortion would ask for. Or, hell, maybe you should change the artist’s heart.”

Akira inhaled through his teeth. “We didn’t even steal her heart, we healed her heart. In retrospect, maybe we should have stolen it,” He turned to Futaba. “Gremlin.”

“Futaba… maybe you shouldn’t put that for other people to see.” Sojiro couldn’t look at her straight.

She laughed deviously. “You can’t kinkshame me, I’m ace. Like I said, it was to punish people who went looking through my stuff.”

“Still, you spent your allowance on that… Futaba, that’s for things you need.”

“I _needed_ mpreg Freddy Fazbear art. Besides, Akira is the one dating the boy who drew this. Akira’s a furry.”

Akira threw his hands up in exasperation. Classic gremlin. “I am not a furry, it was a joke. Don’t drag me into your weird gross animatronic shit.”

“Maybe not a furry but I have a lot more I can shame you for.”

“Hey Futaba?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

“Nah.”

Sojiro pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, I don’t want to know. We’re stopping this conversation.” He shook his head. “Damn, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at that kid the same way… Akira, please tell your… boyfriend, apparently, to stop drawing weird stuff like that.”

The careless use of the word “boyfriend” was a bit of a shock. Then again, Sojiro never really seemed to care much. As long as no one was dead, dying or arrested, he didn’t seem to care what Akira was doing or who he was seeing. He shrugged once more. “If it means anything, Yusuke regrets it more than the rest of us.”

“ ...Right.”

* * *

 

_October 30th 2017_

_11:10 pm_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Joker:** So…. Sojiro found Futaba’s calling card. He knows we’re Phantom Thieves.

 **Skull:** for real?!

 **Skull:** dude y did u keep it

 **Oracle:** it was a memoir

 **Oracle:** dont yell at me

 **Joker:** Yeah lay off that… There was a lot of yelling, and scolding, and some tears… It’s been a long night.

 **Fox:** Futaba, are you okay?

 **Oracle:** ill be fine

 **Oracle:** just tired

 **Oracle:** also he found the mpreg freddy fazbear

 **Fox:** …

 **Fox:** Please tell me you’re joking.

 **Oracle:** nope

 **Joker:** She’s not. I wish she was, but she’s not. I saw the drawing with my own eyes and wish I hadn’t.

 **Joker:** Yusuke why the fuck did you draw that.

 **Fox:** _I am a broke artist. I needed the money._

 **Joker:** _Honey what the fuck surely you could have drawn something less cursed._

 **Crow:** I’m sorry the what now?

 **Oracle:** inari drew me pregnant freddy fazbear art

 **Crow:** I have several questions.

 **Fox:** Before you say a word, no it is not a fetish, it was a commission during a really stressful time. Futaba needed a distraction, I needed money, it was a decent outcome for the both of us. At least it was until Ryuji saw me drawing it, and between him and Futaba neither of them could stop talking about it and now the entire group is convinced that I’m a furry.

 **Skull:** we already thought u were a furry dude

 **Fox:** Ryuji stop talking.

 **Panther:** hey uh… sorry to bring down the mood like this again but

 **Panther:** sojiro isn’t the only one who knows we’re phantom thieves

 **Panther:** well… specifically she knows i’m a phantom thief

 **Joker:** Ann what happened.

 **Panther:**...shiho knows

 **Joker:** Ann what the fuck how did she find out.

 **Panther:** she’s observant. i don’t know how she found out, but she did. she confronted me about it today and i couldn’t lie to her.

 **Panther:** she doesn’t think we’re murderers if it means anything. she’s fully on our side and won’t say a word to anyone.

 **Crow:** Aside from you, who else does she know that’s a Phantom Thief.

 **Panther:** well… she figured out that ryuji and akira were also phantom thieves, and then asked me who the rest were. i didn’t give her everyone’s name but i said madarame’s ex pupil (sorry yusuke), the student council president, and okumura’s daughter. i left out futaba and morgana and you, akechi.

 **Panther:** i’m sorry guys

 **Skull:** dude for real...

 **Joker:** No, it’s okay. I trust Shiho.

 **Joker:** We’ve only spoken a couple times but I would trust her with my life if it came down to it.

 **Joker:** Ann, be careful. Do not explain to her the Metaverse or how we go about stealing a heart, don’t tell her about cognitive psience or how we all became Phantom Thieves, why the calling cards are necessary, don’t tell her about treasure and palaces, and most of all do _not_ tell her about our Personas. Got it?

 **Panther:** i know i know, i won’t.

 **Panther:** but… she really wants to see me in my panther outfit

 **Crow:** How does she know about that?

 **Panther:** i mentioned that we all have special outfits and mine is a latex body suit…

 **Panther:** she knows i hate the outfit but wants to see it anyway

 **Panther:** hey, yusuke? if i agreed to model for you could you draw me as panther?

 **Fox:** I don’t see why not.

 **Panther:** thank you!!

 **Joker:** Sigh…

 **Joker:** Alright, well let’s just do what we can about Sae first. We’ll worry about Shiho and Panther drawings later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS 20 FUCKING PAGES ON GOOGLE DOCS I HAVE NO IDEA HOW IN THE FUCK I DID THAT BUT HERE EXTRA LONG CHAPTER FOR YOU HEATHENS FEATURING FUCKING PANCAKE BOY AND SOME RANDOM DUMB SHIT THAT I HAVE NO EXPLANATION FOR.  
> This chapter is somehow a bigger train wreck than the great shrek discussion of 2017 and "excuse me sir may i eat your ass" combined.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818


	39. i don't have a creative title for this one but some shit happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: Thanks. You really have a way with words Ann. That makes me feel so much better.  
> Panther: ok you want to not be an asshole we’re not the ones who couldn’t figure out how to go through a door

_October 31st 2017_

_6:09 am_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Joker:** Happy fucking halloween thots and Yusuke

 **Oracle:** HELL YES HAPPY FUCKING HALLOWEEN

 **Queen:** Akira it is six in the morning. Please wait until at least after school before you start doing that.

 **Joker:** Sorry Makoto but it’s fucking halloween.

 **Joker:** Break back out the punishment cop outfit you dressed me in because I am going on a trip to Shinjuku tonight fuck yeah.

 **Crow:** Oh? Aren’t we going into the palace today? We only have so much time, you know.

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Fuck you’re right.

 **Joker:** Fine palace today. I’m still going to shove a jack-o-lantern up my ass.

 **Queen:** _Akira._

 **Oracle:** hell yes

 **Oracle:** shove that goddamn jack-o-lantern up your ass and light the fucking candles

 **Joker:** See? Futaba gets it.

 **Crow:** Kurusu I would advise against doing that.

 **Queen:** Akira please try to take this seriously. We only have so much time.

 **Joker:** You guys are no fun.

 **Joker:** @Fox I’m going to shove a pumpkin up my ass.

 **Fox:** Why do you feel the need to tell me this?

 **Joker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Fox:** I didn’t need to know that.

 **Joker:** (✿ ♥‿♥)

 **Fox:** …

 **Joker:** :(

 **Oracle:** pffft rip in pieces akira joker kurusu

 **Joker:** :’(

* * *

 

_October 31st 2017_

_6:40 am_

 

**Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **YK:** (✿ ♥‿♥)

 **AK:**!!!!

 **AK:** <3

 **YK:** No.

 **AK:** :(

 **YK:** …

 **YK:** … <3

 **AK:**!!!!!!  <33

 **AK:** (~˘▾˘)~

 **YK:** Okay, no.

 **AK:** Fine.

 **AK:** I’ll get you to do use emojis one day ★~(◡△◕✿)

 **YK:** Maybe one day.

* * *

 

_October 31st 2017_

_9:17 pm_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Panther:** hey uhh joker are you ok?

 **Joker:** Of :) course :) I’m :) okay :) why :) wouldn’t :) I :) be :))

 **Noir:** It’s okay akira-kun, it was a simple mistake

 **Joker:** It’s like Kaneshiro but _somehow more idiotic and obvious I’m going to pitch myself off the roof._

 **Panther:** akira really it’s fine this shit happens sometimes

 **Joker:** Ann. The door was right there.

 **Joker:** _Right fucking there._

 **Joker:** _We ran past it like twelve times._

 **Joker:** _Akechi had to point out to me that maybe we should go through the door. You know, the one fucking door we had yet to open._

 **Joker:** _Those big ass glittering ass colorful double doors that are about twice the size of Leblanc’s attic. Those fucking doors._

 **Joker:** _Somehow my dumbass didn’t notice the goddamn obvious doors right at the end of the hallway._

 **Joker:** _Palace cancelled, the casino is no longer actually kind of cool._

 **Panther:** no palace not cancelled

 **Noir:** Akira-kun, it’s okay, really. Mistakes happen. We still have a job to do, yeah? We shouldn’t let this hold us back.

 **Panther:** at least it didn’t take us this long to figure it out. an hour and a half is a major improvement from two days.

 **Joker:** Thanks. You really have a way with words Ann. That makes me feel so much better.

 **Panther:** ok you want to not be an asshole we’re not the ones who couldn’t figure out how to go through a door

 **Noir:** At least now we can move on with the palace!

 **Joker:** That’s true…

 **Joker:** Haru has anyone ever told you that you’re an actual ray of sunshine?

 **Joker:** Because you are. You really are.

 **Panther:** seriously

 **Noir:** Haha, thank you! <3

 **Joker:** In other news, how’s Makoto?

 **Noir:** Mako-chan is doing well! I think the palace may be stressing her out a bit, not that anyone can really blame her, but she’s managing. She’s really strong isn’t she.

 **Joker:** Yeah, she really is.

 **Panther:** makoto is amazing

 **Joker:** Haru so are you guys dating or?

 **Noir:** Something like that. It’s complicated right now but hopefully when things become a little less messy we can properly figure it out.

 **Joker:** Ah, the weird in between “what are we” phase. I know that phase.

 **Panther:** yeah because you were stuck there for at least a month because neither one of you would approach the issue

 **Joker:** Ann shut. You and Shiho were there at one point.

 **Panther:** wrong. i got over myself and asked her out directly. we skipped that phase.

 **Joker:** That’s gay.

 **Panther:** you’re gay

 **Joker:** No u

 **Panther:** no u

 **Joker:** [ no-u.png ](https://i.imgur.com/CSuB3ZW.png)

**Panther:** well damn guess i am gay

 **Joker:** [ finger-guns-kiddo.jpg ](https://memegenerator.net/img/images/15102247.jpg)

**Noir:** I suppose we’re at that phase. It’s ok though eventually we’ll figure things out, but for now we have a lot to deal with.

 **Joker:** Take your time. You guys do whatever you need and we’ll be here to support you.

 **Panther:** exactly. it’s your relationship so you can take it in whatever direction you want. we’re your friends and we’ll still be here for support.

 **Noir:** Thank you both!

 **Joker:** Hey is Makoto still mad at me from the school festival?

 **Panther:** what happened at the school festival akira?

 **Noir:** I don’t know. She hasn’t said anything so i would assume not. You can understand why she would be mad though, right?

 **Joker:** Yeah I get it. Maybe it was a little out of line but it changed the subject didn’t it?

 **Noir:** That is true. It did get us out of trouble, as well as other things. You helped us out a lot akira-kun, and i appreciate what you did, even if at the time i was fairly flustered.

 **Joker:** I was just trying to help out a bit. Sorry for putting you on the spot like that but it had to be done.

 **Panther:** seriously what happened at the festival?

 **Joker:** You know the post festival party shit? I went to that with Haru and Makoto and they picked Haru for that happy share time bs.

 **Joker:** They asked her about the Phantom Thieves so to change the subject I asked Haru if she was single and that “my friend” (Makoto) really liked her.

 **Joker:** Makoto threatened to yeet a chair at me, her and Haru abandoned me to get coffee and I got to walk home alone. It was fun though.

 **Joker:** Hope you guys had fun on your coffee adventure. Either way, my job was done. I don’t appreciate third wheeling.

 **Panther:** akira literally all ryuji and i have been doing since summer is third wheel around you and yusuke my god you have no room to talk

 **Joker:** Shush.

 **Noir:** I apologize if we made you uncomfortable akira-kun!

 **Joker:** Not uncomfortable. Just on the verge of exploding.

 **Joker:** If I had to see one more lovesick glance or hear one more longing sigh I was going to lock the two of you in a fucking closet.

 **Panther:** akira you really have no room to talk when it comes to pining you’re an absolute disaster

 **Joker:** We don’t talk about that Ann.

 **Panther:** _uh yes we absolutely do talk about that you’re a bi disaster who is completely whipped for yusuke kitagawa_

 **Joker:** [ shhhhhhuut.png ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/472607972581703690/492133350388269057/tumblr_inline_pd7wjc1KBH1szl50f_1280.png)

* * *

 

_November 1st 2017_

_8:14 am_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AK:** Hey

 **AK:** I miss you.

 **YK:** You just saw me yesterday, and we’re meeting after school again today.

 **AK:** Well, yeah, but these palace explorations are different.

 **AK:** I see you but I don’t really get to see _you,_ you know?

 **AK:** I know you’re there but so isn’t the rest of the team, and we have other things we have to prioritize.

 **AK:** I haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time with you lately, and I miss you.

 **YK:** Well, there’s still time before classes start for the day, so for now hopefully this will do.

 **YK:** Perhaps at some point, if we just so happen to stumble across a safe room in the palace we might be able to take a few moments for ourselves.

 **AK:** Are you suggesting we make out in a safe room.

 **YK:** I wouldn’t use those words specifically.

 **AK:** Okay let me rephrase:

 **AK:** Are you suggesting that Akira and Yusuke, not Joker and Fox but actually us, take a few moments to be ultra gay in the safe rooms of Sae’s palace.

 **YK:** You said it, not me.

 **AK:** …

 **AK:** You realize if Makoto catches us she is going to beat the ever loving shit out of me right? She’s still a little salty about the whole “Shadow Sae” thing, so last thing she really needs is to catch me corrupting the pretty artist boy in a room inside her sister’s heart.

 **YK:** What Makoto doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

 **AK:** You’re right. I’m down.

 **AK:** Well, other than that, how’s Kosei?

 **YK:** The only two people I choose to actively talk to outside the Phantom Thieves are not here, and I’ve nearly filled up my sketchbook.

 **AK:** Yikes that sucks. Where are they?

 **YK:** Togo-san said she was out sick, so she has a valid excuse. As for Makigami-san, I have no idea where he currently is.

 **AK:** “Makigami-san?”

 **YK:** Naoya Makigami. You remember that one Mementos request we got, about someone who was physically abusing his brother?

 **AK:** Yeah, I think so. Kazuya, right?

 **YK:** Yes. Remember how Kazuya’s shadow asked us to give something to his brother?

 **AK:** Yep. You were the one to give it to the brother. He goes to Kosei, yeah?

 **YK:** Mhm. Makigami-san is the younger brother of Kazuya Makigami. After that whole incident with his brother, we began talking more. I guess I could consider him somewhat of a friend.

 **AK:** How’s he doing? Physical abuse isn’t an easy thing to cope with after all is said and done.

 **YK:** He’s doing alright. He doesn’t like talking about it, and I see no reason to ask him questions about it. For the most part, he seems to be trying his best.

 **AK:** That’s good, I think. If he needed help, he would reach out for it, right? That’s why he turned to the phan-site, isn’t it?

 **YK:** I believe so.

 **YK:** Somehow my day has just instantly gotten worse.

 **AK:** What?! What happened??

 **YK:** I just spotted Akechi walking past the courtyard.

 **YK:** I wasn’t even aware he went to school here.

 **AK:** Pffft oh my god.

 **AK:** Sorry it’s not funny.

 **AK:** Maybe a little funny.

 **AK:** Did he say anything to you?

 **YK:** Nothing particularly interesting. He just said “good morning” and continued with his business. He looked as if he wanted to say more, though.

 **AK:** That’s strange…

 **AK:** Goro Akechi, apparently goes to the same school as my boyfriend. Should I be worried?

 **YK:** No. God no.

 **YK:** My tastes might be questionable, but it’s not that questionable.

 **YK:** Besides, he’s a year ahead of me. It’s not very likely I’ll encounter him during class time.

 **AK:** I’ll fight him.

 **YK:** Akira it’s fine. You don’t have to fight him.

 **AK:** Tell him to square up.

 **YK:** He hasn’t done anything just yet, you can calm down.

 **AK:** (ง'̀-'́)ง

 **YK:** You don’t have to fight him right now.

 **AK:** Tell him to meet me behind Big Bang Burger for a 1v1 knife fight (ง'̀-'́)ง

 **YK:** _Akira._

 **AK:** I’ll take care of Akechi and then we can go to some high class restaurant.

 **AK:** Well… “high class” meaning uhh. Fast food. We can get some food from Big Bang Burger. I just spent a shit ton of money on weapons for us so we’re going to have to wait until my next paycheck until we can go to the goddamn Wilton Buffet.

 **YK:** That’s really not necessary.

 **AK:** Only the best for my babe <3

 **AK:** Best, that I can actually afford. Weapons aren’t cheap.

 **YK:** We could always try to help out with the weapons.

 **AK:** Yusuke honey you are literally always broke. If you did that you wouldn’t have a full weapon nor would you have any food.

 **AK:** Besides, it’s my job to keep on top of things like weapons and healing supplies.

 **AK:** Anyways, not the point. Point is, I’m going to throw down with Goro Akechi.

 **YK:** Akira, Akechi has not done any wrong that we don’t know of. All he did was greet me. It’s not the end of the world.

 **AK:** Fine, I won’t fight him.

 **AK:** At the very least let me buy you food?

 **AK:** After the palace tonight we can stop by Big Bang Burger or some shit, get some food and just hang out?

 **YK:** You really don’t have to buy me any food but I suppose I can’t stop you.

 **AK:** Hell yes.

 **AK:** Fast food date after palace exploration.

* * *

 

_November 2nd 2017_

_10:10 pm_

 

**Talk Shit Get Hit**

 

 **Oracle:** goro-akechi.mp3 

**Joker:** Well… now we know what we need to plan around.

 **Panther:** what the hell?!

 **Skull:** WHAT THE EFF AKECHI

 **Fox:** …

 **Queen:** That is.. Disturbing.

 **Noir:** He almost doesn’t sound human…

 **Joker:** This is what we need to avoid. You see why we bugged Akechi’s phone now?

 **Queen:** Yes but how to we go about this?

 **Joker:** Futaba, Morgana and I have been talking but so far we don’t have an exact plan. We should all meet at the hideout and talk about it.

 **Joker:** Obviously we’re going to have to plan accordingly, and we can’t let him know that we know what he’s going to do.

 **Noir:** So... plan around a plan?

 **Joker:** Exactly.

 **Panther:** this is so messed up

 **Oracle:** no shit

 **Skull:** wat the hell is wrong with akechi y cant he see that were not wrong

 **Queen:** Something about that phone conversation is unsettling…

 **Joker:** You mean besides the fact that he’s talking about killing me?

 **Queen:** Well, that, and… Who is he talking to? Is someone else pulling the strings here, or has it been Akechi all along.

 **Joker:** It’s hard to say. We can confirm that at the very least it’s not just Akechi. However it’s unknown whether he’s the mastermind behind everything or if he’s just being controlled by someone else. Or maybe he’s had a partner to all of this.

 **Oracle:** either way we cant let him kill joker

 **Oracle:** ill keep listening to see if i can find anything else but for now this is all we got

 **Fox:** In short, Akechi plans to betray us and then murder our leader, and somehow we’re supposed to stop him from doing so?

 **Joker:** Yup.

 **Queen:** You’re awfully calm about this, Akira.

 **Joker:** I mean… screaming and crying isn’t going to help solve shit so might as well stay calm, you know?

 **Joker:** Either way, we need to figure this shit out. Tomorrow how about we all meet for discussion?

 **Queen:** Before or after palace exploration?

 **Joker:** After. That way we’ll have more time.

 **Queen:** Understood.

* * *

 

_November 2nd 2017_

_10:16 pm_

 

**Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **YK:** I take back what I said.

 **YK:** Feel free to fight Akechi behind Big Bang Burger.

 **YK:** On second thought, let me do it.

 **AK:** sakjfhdkjg

 **AK:** Sorry that’s not funny.

 **AK:** If I could I would let you beat the shit out of him behind Big Bang Burger, but unfortunately I can’t do that. We need him to think we’re on his side.

 **YK:** I’m aware of that.

 **AK:** You’re thinking about what bullshit it all is too?

 **YK:** Yes.

 **AK:** Can’t argue with you there… It really is bullshit, but if we don’t act then I could uhhh die.

 **YK:** Please don’t make jokes about that. We’re all aware you could and very well might die if we don’t do something, but what can we do?

 **AK:** Right. Sorry, too soon.

 **AK:** We’ll figure something out, okay? We’ve been in tough situations before and always manage to come out of them.

 **AK:** Remember Medjed? That was one of the most stressful times of our lives but we still made it through, didn’t we?

 **AK:** Well, “Medjed.”

 **YK:** During the time with Medjed we didn’t know what to do until Futaba contacted us. Before that, we were all panicking and had she not contacted us when she did we would have been unable to actually deal with them.

 **YK:** Not to mention, none of us were going to wind up dead.

 **AK:** We might not have been dead, but there was the threat of “the Cleanse.” We never did figure out what that meant…

 **YK:** Does it matter?

 **AK:** I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.

 **AK:** Point is, we’ve been in shitty situations before, we can manage this.

 **YK:** Are you seriously not worried about this in the slightest?

 **AK:** No. Obviously I’m worried, yeah, but we’ll figure it out. We always figure something out.

 **YK:** How do you know we’ll get through this? There’s so much we don’t know, so many things that could go wrong, worst case scenario you die.

 **AK:** Aren’t you usually the one who’s telling everyone else to calm down in these types of situations? Kind of funny that you’re the one freaking out, isn’t it?

 **YK:** In those other situations, my boyfriend wasn’t about to die. Forgive me for being a little on edge, but I just found out a murderous psychopath tends to kill my boyfriend and make his death look like a suicide.

 **AK:** I get it. I know, it’s stressful, but we have time, don’t we? It’s not happening for another few weeks. Futaba is trying to gather all the information she can, not to mention we have some stuff we can work with. We can get through this.

 **AK:** … I can see you’re online. Respond to me.

 **YK:** I have no idea what else to say to you right now.

 **AK:** It’s all bullshit, huh. Emotional bullshit, physical bullshit, more of life’s bullshit…

 **AK:** It’s bullshit but so isn’t reality. The situation sucks but what can we really do except try to work around it.

* * *

 

_November 3rd 2017_

_12:40 pm_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Panther:** ryujigoddammit.img 

**Oracle:** PFFT WHAT THE HELL

 **Crow:** Shouldn’t one of you help him?

 **Panther:** wait there’s more

 **Panther:** vending-machine.img 

**Panther:** akira-ryuji.img 

**Fox:** What is happening over there…

 **Joker:** Ryuji got his arm stuck in a vending machine this is the best moment of my life

 **Skull:** some1 tell thes asshikes ri stop taki g pictures nd help me

 **Oracle:** wow didnt think your spelling could get any worse ryuji

 **Skull:** tyoing 1 hsnded other is in vrnding machine

 **Noir:** Where are you right now? I’ll try to go down there and help you ryuji-kun.

 **Panther:** first floor class building, end of the hallway right by the entrance to the courtyard

 **Noir:** I’ll be down in a moment

 **Panther:** you guys want a picture of akira mocking ryuji

 **Oracle:** UH YES

 **Fox:** Why not.

 **Crow:** That doesn’t seem appropriate given the situation.

 **Oracle:** shut up bottom its funny

 **Crow:** Excuse me?

 **Joker:** FUTABA DON’T YOU DARE BRING THAT BACK

 **Oracle:** :3c

 **Panther:** akirano.img 

**Fox:** Ryuji how did you even manage to get your arm stuck in a vending machine?

 **Skull:** i paid 4 my soda nd i better damn well get it

 **Skull:** the machube wouldnt give it to me o i took matters into my own hands

 **Fox:** And… got your arm stuck.

 **Skull:** ye

 **Oracle:** ooo minimal typos this time

 **Panther:** update: haru is down here now. she’s trying to help ryuji pull his arm out without hurting him.

 **Queen:** I’m sorry but would someone care to explain to me exactly what is going on?

 **Joker:** OH SHIT

 **Panther:** oh shit

 **Skull:** o shit

 **Oracle:** you all done fucked up

 **Joker:** Uhhh hey Makoto everything is fine don’t worry about it.

 **Panther:** haha everything is sooo okay makoto don’t even worry about it

 **Joker:** We have it all under control.

 **Queen:** I can read, you know.

 **Joker:** _Abort mission abort mission._

 **Queen:** The three of you are so irresponsible. This includes you too, Ryuji.

 **Skull:** wat did i do tf

 **Queen:** Why would you ever believe it is a good idea to stick your arm inside a vending machine. Don’t you know how dangerous that is? In the event the machine doesn’t give you the item you purchased you ask for help.

 **Queen:** As for you, Akira and Ann, I am severely disappointed in the both of you.

 **Queen:** Actually I’m beyond disappointed. I’m furious with you two.

 **Queen:** During an event like this, how about instead of taking pictures and laughing at your friend’s expense you help him. His arm is stuck in a vending machine, so help him. Taking pictures and mocking him isn’t going to solve any problems.

 **Joker:**...Sorry Makoto.

 **Panther:** sorry makoto…

 **Oracle:** oof rip

 **Oracle:** cant believe ann and akira just got fucking destroyed by makoto niijima

 **Skull:** so can i hqve help getting mt arm out if here

 **Queen:** I’m coming down there.

 **Skull:** thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright this chapter is a little shorter than anticipated but here just take it. I had another scene planned for this chapter but had to cut it out. Next chapter, hopefully. I've had this scene planned since maybe Kaneshiro or Futaba's palace, so hopefully soon ;)  
> Fun fact: The fucking thing with the door in Sae's palace actually happened and I am still extremely salty about it. My adhd ass couldn't figure out that I had to go through a fucking door and had to look up a walkthrough. I was almost as pissed off as I had been during Kaneshiro's palace...Almost.  
> This chapter was absolutely not proofread properly so at some point I'm gonna go back and fix it. Lemme know if you see any typos or grammar mistakes, aside from Ryuji's really bad spelling towards the end there.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818


	40. true wlw/mlm solidarity is shit talking homewreckers with bad haircuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: Slob on my knob  
> Joker: Like corn on the cob  
> Skull: stop that

_November 5th 2017_

_11:18 pm_

 

**Talk Shit Get Hit**

 

 **Queen:** Okay everyone, so we know the plan?

 **Joker:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 **Fox:** Akira you really have been spending too much time around Futaba.

 **Oracle:** yea even i have to admit it

 **Queen:** Focus.

 **Joker:** Yeah yeah. We know the plan.

 **Panther:** are you sure it will work?

 **Noir:** So much could go wrong though…

 **Skull:** i dont like this plan

 **Fox:** I have to agree with Ryuji.

 **Joker:** It’s not like we can come up with any other ideas…

 **Panther:** i’m sure we can think of something else right?

 **Fox:** There’s so many places that could result in several different outcomes. How can you be sure that this will work?

 **Oracle:** its very risky

 **Noir:** Should we go over the plan one more time?

 **Joker:** Yes. Alright guys, what do we do first?

 **Panther:** first we need to enter the palace without akechi and plant a fake item to be used as the treasure

 **Oracle:** a briefcase

 **Queen:** While this is happening, a group of us need to make sure Cognitive Akechi is out of the way.

 **Joker:** Right. Panther, Noir and Oracle, what’s your job?

 **Noir:** Panther and i are tasked with locating and lowering cognitive akechi to fox and queen

 **Oracle:** im supposed to locate and watch over ann and haru to make sure they find cognitive akechi and that hes actively following them

 **Oracle:** i also need to signal to queen and fox when cognitive akechi is approaching

 **Panther:** it’s almost like our heist from madarame’s palace, isn’t it?

 **Fox:** I was thinking the same thing.

 **Oracle:** cognitive akechi is such a bitch tbfh

 **Panther:** well… you have a point

 **Queen:** It makes sense that sis would see Akechi that way, but…

 **Queen:** Anyways, Yusuke and I are then going to have to ambush and lock Cognitive Akechi in a closet so that he is out of the way. If sis or, God forbid, actual Akechi were to come face to face with Cognitive Akechi then that would completely destroy our plan.

 **Joker:** Exactly. Skull, Mona and I are to place the fake treasure elsewhere for Skull and Fox to retrieve later.

 **Joker:** Okay, so later we enter the palace with Akechi, we fight Shadow Sae, and then we go to retrieve her treasure. It’s around this point that Akechi will have unknowingly lead police officers into the palace and I get arrested. How’s this part going to work.

 **Fox:** Ryuji and I will retrieve the fake treasure, and then we split up. One of us will hand the briefcase to you to distract the police officers while the rest of us escape.

 **Joker:** Hell yes. Now time for the fun part.

 **Fox:** I wouldn’t refer to this part as “fun.”

 **Joker:** Mmmaybe so.

 **Joker:** I get arrested, they take me to an underground room for interrogation, all while in the Metaverse still, Sae interrogates me, I make sure she takes my phone and shows it to Akechi and then Futaba… what do you do?

 **Oracle:** heheheh >:3c i get to manipulate sae niijima into joining the dark side

 **Joker:** Not quite but good enough.

 **Joker:** Akechi unknowingly enters the Metaverse, he shoots the cognitive version of me, and I get off scot free. It’s foolproof.

 **Queen:** I wouldn’t call it “foolproof” but it’s the best we have right now…

 **Panther:** still it’s incredibly risky. are we really going to go through with this?

 **Joker:** We don’t have a choice.

 **Joker:** All of this is going down November 19th. We have just over two weeks.

 **Fox:** I don’t like this…

 **Joker** Neither do the rest of us but it’s really all we got.

 **Fox:** How can you be sure Sae will be able to show Akechi your phone?

 **Joker:** I can be very convincing when need be.

 **Oracle:** akira were going to be relying heavily on you for the last part of the plan

 **Oracle:** are you sure you can do it

 **Joker:** I can’t be completely positive but I can damn well try. Besides, I’ve been arrested once already. It wasn’t that bad. Even got a sweet ass knife, team of criminals  and adorable boyfriend out of it. How bad can interrogation be?

 **Queen:** It’s late. Everyone should try to get some rest. We have school in the morning.

 **Joker:** Yes Morgana.

 **Queen:** Goodnight, everyone.

 **Joker:** Night Makoto.

 **Skull:** gn makoto

 **Panther:** goodnight!

* * *

 

_November 6th 2017_

_9:02 pm_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Joker:** Hey uh can we talk about that goddamn arena battle because _fuck_ what a ride that was.

 **Oracle:** that was so cool!!!

 **Oracle:** you had to go up against several enemies much stronger than you

 **Oracle:** and you just went woosh and fwaaa

 **Oracle:** those guys didnt stand a chance

 **Oracle:** youre so op akira

 **Joker:** That was so fun holy hell. I hardly remember what happened, all I know is I felt this strange rush of adrenaline or something. It’s like…

 **Joker:** Like that first fight after awakening to your persona.

 **Joker:** Wait.

 **Oracle:** my awakening wasnt like anyone elses >:(

 **Joker:** Right. You didn’t have to rip your fucking face off.

 **Oracle:** (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

 **Fox:** I must say, the arena fight was very inspiring. Witnessing you in battle is always an experience, Akira.

 **Oracle:** inari thats gay

 **Joker:** No it’s art please keep talking.

 **Oracle:** _no_

 **Crow:** He’s right. I’ve never seen anything quite like it, Akira.

 **Crow:** You are truly amazing.

 **Joker:** Thanks. You’re not too bad yourself.

 **Joker:** If the circumstances were different, you’d be an amazing permanent asset to the team.

 **Crow:** Maybe so, but we do have a deal. Remember?

 **Joker:** I couldn’t forget even if I wanted to.

 **Fox:** …

 **Oracle:** >:\

* * *

 

_November 7th 2017_

_10:12 pm_

 

A lot of shitty things  had happened since Yusuke had joined the Phantom Thieves. They had nearly started a cyber war with a fake anonymous hacker group, Makoto was almost sold as a sex slave, they had all almost been expelled or arrested several times, and even had been accused of murder.

But the worst thing, in Yusuke’s opinion, was the blackmail and infiltration that had come from Goro Akechi.

To say Yusuke hated Akechi was an understatement. At one point, maybe he would have considered Akechi somewhat of a friend. He was pleasant, friendly, easy to carry a conversation with, not to mention incredibly skilled in battle. Perhaps, in different circumstances, they could have gotten along. Given the fact that Akechi was plotting the death of Akira, and that wasn’t even mentioning the blackmail that got them into this situation to begin with, it was safe to say that Yusuke didn’t appreciate Akechi very much.

They had successfully secured a route to the treasure. Akechi had suggested they wait until last minute before sending the calling card for some ungodly reason. He had given some half assed bullshit excuse that apparently made some sort of sense, but Yusuke hadn’t been listening in the slightest. These days, it seemed any time Akechi opened his mouth all Yusuke could hear was a loud ringing and a constant headache that faded in and out.

Akira had proposed everyone hang around Leblanc for a few hours to relax, almost as a celebration party. Except this one was not quite as elaborate, or cheerful as usual. Yusuke couldn’t help but wonder if it would be the last celebration party they ever had with the entire team.

Akechi sat in one booth with Akira on the other side of him. Two cups of coffee were located on the table in front of them. Akechi laughed at something Akira had said, and suddenly all Yusuke could see was red.

A knife twisted in Yusuke’s heart every single time Akechi reached over to tap Akira’s hand gently, or every time Akechi made some playful side remark that was intended to be friendly, but even a blind man could see that it not just friendly banter. All of Crow’s cries of “Joker” in battle and the way he would turn to Joker for approval made Yusuke sick to his stomach.

The others were strewn throughout Leblanc, all immersed  in their own conversations. Futaba and Ryuji were seated across from each other in the booth behind them, both of them holding a Nintendo DS and making side comments towards each other. Makoto, Ann, and Morgana were stood in front of the bar. Makoto crossed her legs elegantly and nursed a coffee cup, while Ann openly talked about God knew what. Most likely Shiho. Morgana listened intently.

Somehow, Yusuke found himself third wheeling in a conversation between Akira, his _boyfriend_ Yusuke reminded himself, and Goro Akechi, the team traitor. The sound of Akechi’s voice made Yusuke want to run him through with his katana. Yusuke prided himself on having a lot of self control. Typically, he was the one to remain calm in dire situations (and they managed to get caught in a _lot_ of dire situations), he was patient and knew how to bide his time accordingly. Akechi, however, managed to get on every one of Yusuke’s nerves. It took every ounce of self control to stop himself from decking Akechi square in the jaw.

Yusuke balled his hands into fists. Akechi offered Akira a polite smile and molten anger of bright green and crimson red swirled within Yusuke. Mentally everything screamed in agony. His nails harshly dug into the soft flesh of his palms.

He had to get out of there. Sticking around any longer would result in an outburst that Yusuke would much rather avoid. Besides, Akechi still thought they trusted him. Yusuke couldn’t let it slip that he knew what Akechi was plotting.

Yusuke slid out of the booth and stood to make his way towards the door.

“Huh? Where are you going?” Akira grabbed Yusuke’s wrist gently. His touch burned Yusuke’s skin.

Yusuke tugged his hand away and muttered some bullshit excuse that he couldn’t completely process. Akira let his hand fall to the table, and Yusuke fled from the cafe.

The cold, unforgiving winter air bit at Yusuke’s exposed skin. His breath was visible upon exhale. Ann had once pointed out to him that sometimes his breath was visible in the Metaverse, even if it wasn’t cold. Then again, Ann wasn’t much better. It seemed sometimes she was able to exhale smoke and ash.

Something soft echoed against the biting wind. Soft, to the point where Yusuke almost thought he’d imagined it.

He stepped away from the stairs and examined his surroundings.

With her back pressed against the brick wall, Haru sat on the frozen ground with her head buried in her knees. Her shoulders shook roughly.

“Haru…?”

She jumped at the sound of her name. “O-oh, Yusuke-kun. My apologies.” She wiped at her eyes with the heel of her hand and stood abruptly. Her eyes were red, and puffy. Any makeup she had been wearing had been wiped away. Shadows of smeared mascara gathered under her eyelids.

Yusuke shook his head. Had she been crying…? “What are you doing out here?” He approached her gently, like approaching a startled animal. Any anger he had within him momentarily dispersed. Haru seemed more important. After all, she was his teammate. His _real_ teammate. He’d like to think she was also his friend.

Haru fondled a lock of fluffy hair. “O-oh, um. Just needed some air.” She tried for a reassuring smile, but it turned into more of a wry twitch. The happiness didn’t meet her eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asked gently.

“Yes, I’m fine,” She averted his gaze. “Really. Everything is okay. Don’t worry about me.”

Silence fell between the two of them. If one were to drop a pin, they likely would have heard it.

She tried for another smile. Her bottom lip quivered.

Yusuke took another step towards her. Tears slipped down her face, and she quickly brushed  them away.

“I’m okay.” Her voice cracked.

Yusuke sighed, He wrapped an arm around her protectively. A piece of his heart chipped off.

Haru buried her face in his chest. She tensed under his grip and shook violently. Sobs ripped free from her throat, and her tears stained his white uniform shirt. He wrapped his other arm around her and traced small patterns in her back. Even Haru, it seemed, could only remain unbroken for so long.

Everyone had a breaking point. Just what had happened to where Haru discovered hers, Yusuke couldn’t be too sure. If anything, he was honestly impressed that she had kept her head up high for so long, after everything that she had been put through. She truly was amazing sometimes.

They remained like that for a while. Her breaths eventually evened out, and the shaking stopped. She moved her head away, pushing away one of his arms, and sat back down against the wall. He took a seat next to her.

Haru sniffled and scrubbed at her eyes once more. “My apologies. That was… unbecoming of me.” She spoke formally.

He shrugged. “Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong.”

She rested her head against his shoulder. “I know, but, it still feels like I should apologize. You didn’t have to do that. You don’t have to sit with me if you don’t want to.”

“I’m aware that I don’t have to. Maybe I’m doing this because I care about you,” Yusuke said. “Is everything alright?”

“Well, not exactly,” She sighed. “Between the blackmail, and Akechi-kun betraying us, and everything with my father’s company… There’s just so much that requires my attention, and I…” Her voice cracked once more. She audibly swallowed. “There’s just so much going on and I don’t know how to deal with all of it. That and everything with Akechi, I,” She paused and took a few deep breaths. “I’m supposed to just sit here and let it all happen? I haven’t even had the proper time to mourn my father.  Everything is happening so quickly, all at once.”

Haru huddled closer to Yusuke.

She was, by no means, weak. Haru was fierce and brave and everything Yusuke wished he could have been when looking fear in the face. It seemed that everyone just so happened to need a shoulder to cry on sometimes, figuratively and literally. Yusuke may not have been able to comprehend the different emotions she was forced to face, but he could at least try to offer some support.

Haru took a few ragged breaths. “Sorry. You didn’t ask to hear about all my problems.” She plucked at some of the fuzzy fibers on her pink sweater.

“Nonsense. I may not be able to respond or offer sound advice, but I can at least listen. You can keep venting if you’d like.”

“...Thank you, Yusuke-kun,” Haru crossed her ankles delicately and lifted her legs to her chest. She sighed once more. “I think I said everything I had to say. It feels nice to finally get it all off my chest.” She once again tried for a smile, this one tired but genuine. Haru sniffled and giggled, exasperated. “You’re cold, Yusuke-kun.”

“Excuse me?” Yusuke raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Oh! Not cold as in rude or anything, but cold as in you’re physically cold. It’s no wonder you’re strong to ice.” She giggled once more, then let out a soft yawn. “My apologies. Last time I was this tired, I think, was when I awakened to my persona.”

Yusuke nodded in acknowledgment. He wasn’t quite sure how to respond to a situation like this.

“That’s enough about my problems though. What about you?” Haru looked up at him with large doe eyes. “You seem upset by something.”

“‘Upset’?” Yusuke tested out the word. “It’s not important.” Right. After all was said and done, he’d still have to deal with Akechi. He’d still have to face the facts that Goro Akechi was doing his damndest to cozy up to Akira Kurusu, all with the intent to eventually murder him in cold blood. Just thinking about it lit a match somewhere within Yusuke, a fire growing more and more intense with each passing moment. Yusuke wasn’t sure just how long he could keep it actively contained.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but you seemed really bothered by something earlier. That’s why you came out here, isn’t it?” Haru asked politely.

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk about it…

“It’s nothing,” Yusuke said. The words slipped off  his tongue, robotic and stiff.

Haru made a low hum noise. “It’s Akechi-kun, isn’t it.”

Apparently they were talking about it regardless.

“...How did you know?”

“It wasn’t difficult to guess. You’ve been the most vocal about your dislike for Akechi. I’ve noticed the way you look at him, almost like he’s a nuisance or an annoyance,” She spoke slowly, rattling off the various contributing pieces as if they were facts she had known all her life. “You’ve admitted your dislike of our, er, ‘plan’ several times. With everything Akechi is doing, and our retaliation, it only makes sense that you wouldn’t like it.” She tilted her head to the side like a confused dog. “Is everything okay?”

“You mean aside from the fact that in about fourteen days my boyfriend is going to be killed by a murderous traitor?” Yusuke’s words were drenched in sarcasm. “Everything is perfectly fine.”

Maybe the sarcasm was a bit uncalled for. If Haru took offense to it, she didn’t show it. Instead, she placed her hand on his arm in reassurance. “Akira-kun is strong. He’s been through a lot of situations and has always come out unscathed. If anyone can survive this, it’s him.”

“I know, it’s just,” Yusuke hesitated a moment in attempt to collect his thoughts. All of his emotions buzzed internally, colliding and clapping together with the momentum of a high speed car crash. Something dull ached in the back of his head. Soft crescent shapes were carved into his palms by his nails. He inhaled slowly in an attempt at self composition. “Akira is strong, but there’s so many unpredictable factors. I’m aware it’s the only chance we have, but there’s still so much out of our control. And Akechi,” He couldn’t help the disgusted grimace that crossed his face. “Akechi is the most vile part of all of this. He acts all high and mighty, like he is the pure embodiment of justice. He gets all close and friendly with Akira, acts like he is completely right, only to turn around and try to kill him later? Who does he think he is?”

Haru considered this. “It sounds like you’re jealous.”

“What reason do I have to be ‘jealous’ of Akechi.” Yusuke scoffed. That word had been used to describe him on multiple occasions, none of which he completely understood.

Ryuji had deemed Yusuke ‘jealous’ of Akira’s friend Mishima. Yusuke had only spoken to Mishima on a few separate occasions, never for very long, but everything about him completely clashed with everything about Yusuke. He may have been an avid Phantom Thief supporter, and the admin for the phan-site, but that didn’t mean Yusuke had to like him. Aside from his obnoxious personality, Yusuke disliked how close he was to Akira. Mishima had this tendency to get physically close to Akira, almost touching him. He was always so energetic to hear what Akira had to say and eager to impress him. All of it left a very sour taste in Yusuke’s mouth.

Akira had described Yusuke as ‘jealous’ after the incident with Shadow Sae. Upon first encounter with Sae Niijima’s shadow, collectively half the group had stopped. Ryuji had been clearly staring at her, practically drooling and tripping over himself, Ann had gone red in the face and had to avert her gaze, Haru had attempted to fan herself with her hand and avoid direct eye contact, and even Akechi hadn’t been able to look at her properly. Akira, on the other hand, had openly ogled her and even threw in a soft “fucking nice” under his breath. Yusuke had no problems with Akira admiring the beauty in others. There were at least nine million people on Tokyo alone, of course there’d be plenty of people to be considered “attractive” or “alluring.” Yusuke wasn’t sure what it was about that situation in particular that had rubbed him the wrong way. Maybe it was the fact that shadow Sae was just eating up all the attention, or that Akira had vocally expressed his interest in the way he did.

According to Haru, apparently, Yusuke was now ‘jealous’ of Akechi. Of all people to be ‘jealous’ of, apparently it was Akechi.

Haru shot Yusuke a sympathetic look. “You don’t necessarily need a reason to be jealous of someone. Maybe it’s the way Akechi-kun acts around Akira-kun. It seems to me that Akechi-kun is just trying to impressive him. He’s trying to get Akira-kun’s attention and find some form of reaction. He’s doing this to your significant other. If it were Mako-chan that Akechi-kun were trying to get close to, I know I would be jealous.” She fluffed the ends of her sweater.

Yusuke considered this a moment. Was ‘jealousy’ what that ugly, bitter green fury that he had been feeling when even in Akechi’s general vicinity since they first entered Sae’s palace? If that’s what it was, then why…?

“Perhaps I am feeling some form of ‘jealousy,’” The word was slimy. “Is there something I should do about it?”

“Talk to Akira-kun. He’ll understand. He cares about you a lot, you know.” Haru spoke the words as if they were the easiest thing in the world. Yusuke only wished it could be that easy.

Yusuke wasn’t sure how long the two of them remained outside. At some point, they had stopped talking about their problems and the conversation had become more domestic. Haru had talked about gardening a  bit, and how well the vegetables she had grown had come out. Yusuke talked a bit about his newest piece and how it was almost complete. Time passed, they still sat against the wall outside of Leblanc.

Eventually the door opened, and the others came outside, most likely leaving for the night. Makoto was the first to spot them.

“Haru? Yusuke? What are you doing out here?” She pulled her peacoat tighter around her body and shivered. “Are you two okay?”

Haru waved a hand. “We’re fine, Mako-chan. We just needed some air.” She moved Yusuke’s arm away from her and stood. “Is everyone going home?”

Ann pressed one hand to her hip and nodded. “Yeah. It’s getting pretty late and the trains are going to stop running soon.”

Yusuke stood and brushed himself off. He had hardly considered the time.

Haru turned to him. “Thank you for everything,” She said. “Goodnight everyone.” The last part was directed to the entire group. One by one, they all began to leave, until eventually it was just Futaba, Akira and Yusuke.

“Right, well, I’m going to go… inside. It’s freezing out here.” Futaba stammered awkwardly. Her gaze shifted from Akira to Yusuke. “So… have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She waved her hands at them before bolting back into the cafe. What was that gremlin planning?

Akira rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “You and Haru were gone for a while.”

“We were just outside.” Yusuke shrugged. Part of him thought back on how close Akira and Akechi were getting. That part of him was almost surprised that Akira had noticed how long Yusuke had been gone. The other part knew better, and he mentally kicked himself for it. Emotions were disgusting, sometimes.

“I know. It was still a while though,” Akira took a step forward. “I missed you.” He reached for Yusuke’s hand, and Yusuke brushed Akira’s grip away.

Akechi’s pleasant smile was burned into Yusuke’s mind, almost taunting him. Yusuke tried to push the thought away.

Yusuke bit back a harsh comment. What came out, instead, was completely different. “I’m fine, Akira.”

Akira focused his gaze on Yusuke with an intensity that made him squirm. Sometimes Yusuke thought that look could kill someone. When Akira was serious, he was intimidating. Just his resting face was enough to stow fear in the hearts of many.

“...Something’s bothering you,” Akira observed. It wasn’t a question or an inquiry, but a fact. Just how he was able to tell after a few short words and a one sided staring contest, Yusuke didn’t know. There were many things about Akira that he didn’t think he’d ever be able to understand. There was silence for a moment, before Akira followed it up with “It’s Akechi, isn’t it?”

“What about Akechi?” Yusuke crossed his arms over his chest protectively.

“You tell me.” Akira’s gaze could bore holes into anyones soul. If he stared long enough, maybe he’d fine some of Yusuke’s darkest secrets, as well as where his heterosexuality had disappeared to.

Yusuke bit his bottom lip. For basically his entire life he had always been taught “honesty was the best policy.” Yet, somehow, when he had met the Phantom Thieves any sense of honesty he carried, Madarame carried, Akira and Ryuji and Ann had carried had gone directly out the window. Somehow, Yusuke had adjusted to the constant need to lie. Between lying about being a Phantom Thief, lying about his involvement with the Madarame case, lying about not knowing how the Phantom Thieves changed hearts, lying to Akechi’s face, lying about his own emotions, he had adjusted to it in ways that, less than a year ago, he would have thought deplorable. Then again, the Yusuke from back then was still a liar, he just wasn’t aware of it.

“I don’t like the way Akechi looks at you,” Yusuke finally admitted. The words practically burned. “I don’t like how he treats you, and how close he’s been getting to you.”

The corner of Akira’s mouth twitched into a cocky, Joker-like smirk. “You’re jealous of Akechi? That’s actually kind of adorable,” Akira snickered to himself. “You really are the jealous type.”

“It’s not funny.”

“I know it’s not funny, I’m just,” His smirk turned into a grin that he failed to hide behind his hand. “I’m flattered. You know that, no matter what, I would never go for Akechi, right? You’re the only one I have feelings for.”

Yusuke rolled his eyes. “I’m aware. That doesn’t change the fact that Akechi seems to think you’re his. Didn’t anyone tell him not to touch things that don’t belong to you?”

“Aww, honey, are you saying that I’m yours?” Akira cooed.

“Not exactly. You are your own person,” Akira tried to grab Yusuke’s hand again, and this time Yusuke didn’t bother stopping him. “In a way, though, I suppose the answer is yes. You're not 'mine', exactly, but you are 'my' partner. Does that make any sense?”

Akira pressed a soft kiss to Yusuke’s cheek, then the other one, until finally their lips met.

This kiss was different from the one at Destinyland. That kiss had been all sparks, and desire, testing each other’s boundaries. That kiss had been an experiment and the start and end of an incredible chapter.

This one was gentle, forgiving. It was full of reassurance. Akira’s thumb caressed Yusuke’s cheek. Yusuke’s heart fluttered with the same delicacy of a butterfly. After all this time, he hadn’t realized just how much he ached for Akira’s touch. Even now, it still surprised himself just how much he _wanted_ him. It was a strange, yet curious sensation. Akira didn’t seem to mind too much.

Eventually, Akira drew away. “I might make jokes sometimes, but I promise you’re the only one for me. Okay?” His steel eyes were wide with certainty. “I don’t like Akechi that way. I will never like Akechi that way. As long as we’re together, I’ll never like anyone else that way. I l-” Akira stopped mid-sentence, before quickly backtracking. “...I care about you.”

Yusuke nodded once. He could be absolutely certain there was one thing he had that Akechi didn’t.

Akira drew Yusuke in for another kiss.

Yusuke had Akira Kurusu. Akechi did not.

Just how long Yusuke would have Akira, though, was unknown. It all depended on the plan.

* * *

 

_November 8th 2017_

_12:43 pm_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Oracle:** yo akira

 **Oracle:** we should make a playlist for mementos

 **Joker:** We can’t use technology in the Metaverse.

 **Oracle:** you might not be able to

 **Oracle:** but i can

 **Oracle:** if you guys pick the music i can play it from necronomicon

 **Joker:** If we do that you’re just going to play Africa by Toto and Running in the 90s on repeat.

 **Oracle:** nooo

 **Oracle:** ok how about we all pick some songs and ill play them

 **Oracle:** promise it wont just be my music

 **Joker:** God I hope not. “Your music” just consists of the Windows XP startup sound earrape.

 **Oracle:** >:(

 **Oracle:** ARE WE PICKING SONGS OR NOT

 **Joker:** Yeah I guess so.

 **Joker:** How about we all pick 5 songs and send them to you, not telling you what they are, and you add them to a playlist for the Metaverse.

 **Oracle:** done

 **Oracle:** whens the next time were going to mementos >:3

 **Joker:** I mean… Mishima did send me some requests we got. We can probably go tomorrow if you’re all available.

 **Oracle:** yeet

 **Joker:** @Everyone Mementos tomorrow. Each of you send 5 songs to Futaba so she can put them in a playlist for us.

 **Joker:** Futaba make sure you mix them up and don’t put them strictly in the order in which we send them to you.

 **Oracle:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 **Panther:** oh that sounds like fun! i have some songs i’d like to listen to in mementos!

 **Oracle:** dm me the link

 **Skull:** oh hell yes i got some great songs

 **Oracle:** (☞ຈل͜ຈ)☞

 **Oracle:** you know what to do

 **Noir:** That sounds lovely! I have a few songs as well~

 **Oracle:** (☞⌒▽⌒)☞

 **Oracle:** send them to me haru

 **Noir:** Of course~

 **Joker:** Yeah, I think I have a few ideas.

 **Oracle:** (☞ $ ل͜ $ )☞

* * *

 

_November 9th 2017_

_11:18 pm_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Queen:** No more Mementos playlists. At least not before we see just what it is we’re listening to.

 **Queen:** And Akira is no longer allowed to drive while we’re listening to a Mementos playlist.

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Listen. It was all in good fun.

 **Panther:** yusuke didn’t look too good after “last surprise”

 **Panther:** which one of you even added that song?

 **Joker:** Guilty.

 **Panther:** of course it was you…

 **Skull:** as fun as that was maybe next time u shouldnt floor it during the chorus

 **Queen:** Akira you could have flipped the car over with how sharp those turns were.

 **Noir:** Please be careful in the future, akira-kun.

 **Panther:** which one of you thought “slob on my knob” was a good mementos song?!

 **Oracle:** it was ryuji

 **Skull:** dammit futaba dont out me lik tht

 **Oracle:** learn to spell and then ill consider it >:3

 **Panther:** why am i not surprised

 **Panther:** ryuji do you actually listen to that song?

 **Skull:** NO WTF

 **Noir:** Don’t you like rap ryuji-kun?

 **Skull:** yea i like rap but that song is just bad

 **Skull:** i dont think i ever heard past the first part until today

 **Joker:** Slob on my knob

 **Joker:** Like corn on the cob

 **Skull:** stop that

 **Joker:** Check in with me.

 **Joker:** And do your job.

 **Skull:** dude for real

 **Joker:** Lay on the bed.

 **Joker:** And give me head.

 **Joker:** Don’t have to ask.

 **Joker:** Don’t have to beg.

 **Skull:** do u actually like that song dude

 **Joker:** No.

 **Joker:** Juicy is my name.

 **Joker:** Sex is my game

 **Panther:** _akira_

 **Joker:** Fine fine I’ll stop.

 **Skull:** for real tho which one of u chose hatsune miku

 **Oracle:** the world is mine is a valid song

 **Oracle:** dont make me 1v1 you in overwatch

 **Skull:** was it ur song?

 **Oracle:** no

 **Joker:** Also guilty.

 **Skull:** dude wtf

 **Joker:** I thought it would be funny to randomly throw in a vocaloid song and it was the only one I could think of at the time.

 **Joker:** Okay but Futaba goddammit I thought I made it clear that I never wanted to hear that goddamn cow song ever again.

 **Oracle:** >:3c

 **Oracle:** hand slipped

 **Joker:** You fucking gremlin.

 **Panther:** which one of you added what’s new pussycat 10 times

 **Panther:** we skipped it after maybe the 4th time

 **Joker:** In all fairness “It’s Not Unusual” was also in there.

 **Joker:** And one of them accidentally rickrolled us. I was not aware that it would do that.

 **Skull:** it was u wasnt it

 **Joker:** Mayhaps.

 **Noir:** Maybe we should reveal which songs were ours?

 **Joker:** Last Surprise was all me. I take pride in that one.

 **Panther:** you almost killed your boyfriend

 **Joker:** He was okay. Mostly.

 **Panther:** he actually vomited when we got out of the car

 **Joker:** That happens with motion sickness sometimes.

 **Queen:** Akira, he then proceeded to lay on the floor for at least ten minutes. Don’t press all the way down on the gas pedal so suddenly.

 **Joker:** It was all in good fun.

 **Oracle:** i dont think ive ever seen inari so pale

 **Oracle:** and he is really pale

 **Noir:** I hope he’s okay.

 **Joker:** He’s fine now. Motion sickness.

 **Joker:** Usually after getting out of the moving object the nausea caused from the motion sickness subsides.

 **Oracle:** fair

 **Joker:** Okay but which one of you fuckers thought bass boosted crying was a good idea.

 **Panther:** oh my god that was awful

 **Joker:** That caught me so off guard. I would have rather fought the Reaper instead of listen to that shit again. That was awful.

 **Oracle:** ryuji looked like he was about to piss himself he was just so scared by it

 **Skull:** MY HEAD WAS RIGHT BY THE SPEAKER

 **Skull:** FULL BLAST JUST EFIN SATAN STARTED SCREAMING AT ME

 **Queen:** The “bass boosted crying” was a shock to all of us.

 **Panther:** ryuji actually almost shocked me so yeah literally

 **Skull:** sorry bout that

 **Skull:** u almost burned me tho

 **Noir:** Are you okay ann-chan?

 **Panther:** yeah i’m fine

 **Oracle:** >:3 heheheh

 **Joker:** Jesus Christ of course it was you, gremlin.

 **Oracle:** akechi was right next to me and he looked about ready to die

 **Oracle:** he was just so startled

 **Oracle:** he also screamed

 **Crow:** I did not scream, I was merely taken aback by the sudden sound.

 **Oracle:** sure jan

 **Queen:** Okay no more bass boosted crying, no more Last Surprise, no more nearly killing Yusuke or Akechi, and no more letting Akira drive while listening to any Mementos playlists.

 **Oracle:** >:(

 **Joker:** Yes Mom.

 **Panther:** can we just ban anything bass boosted? i did not need bass boosted “boom boom boom boom” or bass boosted all star in my life

 **Skull:** bass boosted allstar was a blesisn

 **Joker:** “Blesisn”

 **Panther:** “blesisn”

 **Oracle:** “blesisn”

 **Skull:** SHUT

 **Joker:** Also Haru no longer gets to pick songs. Haru I did not need “Bodies” or “Sleepwalking” today yet somehow here we are.

 **Joker:** I thought I left my emo phase back in middle school do not remind me of that time of my life.

 **Noir:** Not all of my choices were screamo~

 **Joker:** What else did you pick?

 **Noir:** I chose the spooky scary skeletons remix! That song is so cute and the video along with it is absolutely charming!

 **Joker:** Okay, good pick. What else?

 **Noir:** Toxic and dancing queen were also my choices.

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Okay no more screamo songs. Or if there is screamo, then let us know in advance so I don’t nearly crash the car.

 **Noir:** Will do!

 **Joker:** Did you pick Dancing Queen because of Makoto?

 **Noir:** Hmm mayhaps

 **Panther:** DGFHJK

 **Skull:** holy shit

 **Oracle:** HARU DID YOU JUST MEME

 **Noir:** Mayhaps ;)

 **Oracle:** i am so proud

 **Joker:** She’s learning...

 **Queen:** Haru please…

 **Noir:** <3

 **Joker:** Collectively half the team just went “Hey Queen it’s you!” when Dancing Queen came on.

 **Panther:** we know. we were there akira

 **Joker:** >:(

 **Oracle:** i didnt get songs from inari akechi mona or makoto

 **Oracle:** the rest of you are sinners

 **Oracle:** also you sent more than 5 songs _akira_

 **Joker:** What’s New Pussycat is only one song though.

 **Oracle:** not when its added 10 times

 **Joker:** Whoops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwPs2JpG32YcOybTyb288TOXVvpXeE4i8  
> ^ Here's the official Mementos playlist. Yes I actually made it. I even have written down what order I wanted the songs in and who suggested what songs. 
> 
> I updated on time for once holy fuck. Sorry Akechi gets shit on so much, I promise I love my boy it's just necessary. I have more planned for him, and not just "fuck akechi am i right." He's a complex character and there's so much more to him, we just gotta hang in there for now. This chapter is much longer than intended but it really do be like that sometimes.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818


	41. they're lesbians, harold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oracle: do you really think anyones hair could always be so perfect  
> Oracle: no  
> Oracle: its physically impossible

_November 10th 2017_

_7:18 pm_

 

**Haru Okumura → Makoto Niijima**

 

 **HO:** Hi mako-chan. Sorry to disturb you but i was wondering if i could get your opinion on something?

 **MN:** Of course. Is everything okay?

 **HO:** Oh, yes, everything is fine.

 **HO:** I just need your opinion on some pictures if it’s not too much trouble.

 **MN:** I can do that. Send them whenever you’re ready.

 **HO:** Okay.

 **HO:** im-letting-my-guinea-pig-pick-the-file-names.img 

**HO:** V C.img 

**HO:** g'5/vdxxxxxx.img

 **HO:** well-said-piper.img 

**HO:** Well??

 **MN:** Those pictures are um

 **MN:** Very nice.

 **MN:** I don’t know what to say that could improve the pictures if that’s what you’re looking for.

 **HO:** Oh no that’s not what i need. If you want to offer constructive criticism for future reference then that’d be okay too!

 **MN:** I don’t know what kind of constructive criticism to give. They look fine the way they are.

 **MN:** Um… are they intended for someone?

 **HO:** No. I’m not a model like ann-chan so i just wanted to know if these were any good.

 **MN:** I see

 **MN:** I think they’re perfect the way they are

 **MN:** But why ask for my opinion?

 **HO:** Because i value your opinion and want to hear what you have to say!

 **MN:** That’s so sweet. Thank you, Haru.

 **HO:** <3

* * *

 

_November 10th 2017_

_7:20 pm_

 

**Makoto Niijima → Ann Takamaki**

 

 **MN:** Ann, I have a question.

 **MN:** If you don’t mind, of course.

 **AT:** are akira and ryuji t-posing at mishima again?

 **MN:** Not that I know of.

 **AT:** are their personas t-posing?

 **MN:** I don’t believe so, but you never know with those two.

 **AT:** it would be interesting seeing a t-posing boat. i’m surprised ryuji hasn’t already done that.

 **AT:** is futaba t-posing?

 **MN:** I hope not.

 **AT:** is yusuke vandalizing public property “for art”?

 **MN:** He better not be.

 **AT:** ok

 **AT:** so if it’s not t-posing or vandalization, what’s up? what’s your question?

 **MN:** Um… Sorry, it’s a little embarrassing.

 **AT:** you don’t have to apologize for that

 **AT:** whatever it is i won’t judge you for it. we still have akira on the team and one of his personas is an actual screaming dick. can’t get any worse than that right?

 **MN:** Well, that’s true…

 **MN:** Okay so.

 **MN:** Is it... gay when a girl sends you pictures of herself in just her undergarments and asks for your opinion on them?

 **MN:**  Does it mean something or am I just overthinking it?

 **AT:** you mean like

 **AT:** her bra and panties?

 **MN:** Yes, that.

 **AT:** it really depends on which girl. sometimes a girl might want advice on it to send to her boyfriend or something, and depending on the relationship you have with this girl it could either be purely platonic or she’s flirting with you.

 **MN:** She said it wasn’t intended for anyone and she just wanted my opinion.

 **AT:** can i ask who this girl is?

 **MN:** Um.

 **AT:** do i know her?

 **MN:** Yes.

 **MN:** It’s Haru.

 **AT:** …

 **AT:** makoto you useless lesbian

 **MN:** I thought you said you wouldn’t judge me?

 **AT:** that was before i knew that _haru was sending you her nudes_

 **AT:** _haru, the girl who you have already gone on a few dates with, and had her confess to you in front of the entire school. that haru, who very obviously has feelings for you_

 **AT:** yes makoto, it is very gay if your not-girlfriend sends you nudes

 **MN:** She wasn’t completely naked…

 **AT:** that still counts as a nude

 **AT:** now go tell your girl she is incredibly attractive and send some titty pictures of your own

 **MN:** Ann!

 **AT:** or just tell her you love her

 **MN:** Ann…

 **AT:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

* * *

 

_November 11th 2017_

_8:30 pm_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Joker:** gay.img 

**Joker:** I am...so blessed.

 **Oracle:** did inari fall asleep on you

 **Joker:** Yep.

 **Joker:** I have been blessed.

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Oracle:** have fun not moving

 **Joker:** My shoulder is already kind of sore but it is completely worth it.

 **Joker:** Yusuke’s hair is… so soft. How much time do you think he spends on it?

 **Oracle:** a lot

 **Oracle:** trust me its a lot

 **Joker:** How do you even know that?

 **Oracle:** >:3

 **Joker:** Do you have his phone tapped too?

 **Oracle:** _ >;3 _

**Joker:** Of course you do.

 **Oracle:** do you really think anyones hair could always be so perfect

 **Oracle:** no

 **Oracle:** its physically impossible

 **Joker:** That makes… a lot of sense actually.

 **Joker:** Hey uh. Was anyone else aware of the scar above Yusuke’s left eyebrow?

 **Oracle:** wh

 **Oracle:** no wh

 **Oracle:** inari always has his hair in front of his fucking face

 **Oracle:** seriously he has to push it out of his eyes like every 2 minutes

 **Joker:** Okay that’s… true. It’s not directly in his face but it does usually cover that part of his eyebrow.

 **Oracle:** akira

 **Oracle:** its in his face

 **Oracle:** he can almost pass as an emo kid

 **Oracle:** if he lets his hair grow out more so that its black and blue he will look emo

 **Joker:** No.

 **Oracle:** dont deny it you thot

 **Joker:** Shush.

 **Oracle:** hey

 **Oracle:** hey akira

 **Oracle:** question for you

 **Joker:** What is it you gremlin.

 **Oracle:** would you still thirst after him if he had scene hair >:3

 **Joker:** …

 **Oracle:** your scene furry artist bf

 **Oracle:** sounds like he would run an active myspace page

 **Joker:** It’s time for you to stop talking.

 **Oracle:** what do you have against scene kids

 **Joker:** You are being stopped.

 **Joker:**  Besides, Yusuke actually gives a shit about aesthetics. He would never stoop so low...I hope.

 **Oracle:** rawr xD

 **Joker:** Not allowed.

 **Oracle:** rawr x3

 **Joker:** That’s illegal.

 **Oracle:** Xx_furryfox_xX

 **Joker:** Blocked.

 **Oracle:** =^3^=

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has removed_ **_Oracle_ ** _from the chat~_

 **Joker:** That’s banned.

 _~_ **_Futaba Sakura_ ** _has joined the chat~_

 _~_ **_Futaba Sakura_ ** _has changed her name to_ **_Navi_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** Navi?

 **Joker:** You mean like the annoying ass fairy thing from the Legend of Zelda?

 **Navi:** >:(

 **Navi:** no

 **Navi:** short for navigator

 **Joker:** Yeah uh

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has demoted_ **_Navi_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed_ **_Navi’s_ ** _name to_ **_Oracle_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** You can’t randomly change your codename Futaba.

 **Oracle:** >:(

 **Oracle:** not with that attitude you cant >:(

* * *

 

_November 12th 2017_

_1:02 pm_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Skull:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC79qCu_4qc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC79qCu_4qc)

**Fox:** What is that.

 **Skull:** pole dancing subway rat

 **Panther:** ryuji has been watching rat videos all lunch period so far

 **Skull:** one of these days im going to get a couple of rats i need to kno how to care for em

 **Panther:** then why are you watching a rat pole dance

 **Skull:** if 1 of my rats wants to pole dance i want to suport him

 **Panther:** what if your rat is female

 **Skull:** then i will  support her

 **Skull:** they deserve the best

 **Joker:** Can’t believe Ryuji’s a furry.

 **Skull:** no wtf

 **Joker:** [ rats.jpg ](https://em.wattpad.com/b933f468b9fb20593da5fa5277e6d01e9840eaf8/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f4b6e562d5a33355f626d775665673d3d2d3439393238363538302e313466613636393330653339373537643830383734313738343732322e6a7067)

**Skull:** WTF IS THAT THING

 **Joker:** It’s a rat.

 **Skull:** its an effn demon spawn is wat it is jfc

 **Fox:** …

 **Fox:** That is the most offensive thing I have ever seen.

 **Joker:** Pff

 **Skull:** is this gonna be another art rant

 **Panther:** oh boy

 **Skull:** yusuke stop typing

 **Skull:** we can see u dont do it

 **Skull:** yusuke stop

 **Joker:** Let him rant.

 **Skull:** in other news uh

 **Skull:** [ banana.jpg ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/477267435179737091/499381346620145664/140926094353-apopo-rat-test-mine-field-banana-horizontal-gallery.png)

**Skull:** look at this lil dude

 **Skull:** even got a harnass

 **Skull:** [ budies.jpg ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/477267435179737091/499379703233118229/5a78499db4e28.png)

**Panther:** i feel like that’s just akira and ryuji’s bromance right there

 **Joker:** They look like they’re doing that “king of the world” bullshit thing from Titanic. With Jack and Rose.

 **Joker:** Ryuji if we ever somehow wind up on a boat together, promise me we can do the “king of the world” thing.

 **Skull:** hell ya dude

 **Skull:** whos the girl tho

 **Joker:** You.

 **Skull:** uh no

 **Joker:** But you get to be king of the world.

 **Panther:** you realize rose wasn’t in the “i’m king of the world” scene right?

 **Skull:** wut

 **Panther:** what happened was the crew found land and were steering the titanic to new york. one of the crew mates pointed out that they could see the statue of liberty, so jack stood at the end of the ship and yelled “i’m king of the world!”

 **Panther:** the bit with rose came later

 **Panther:** with rose, she said “i’m flying”

 **Skull:** …

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** So am I king of the world?

 **Fox:** I have no idea what is happening right now, and quite frankly I don’t know if I want an answer.

 **Panther:** akira and ryuji are being idiots

 **Fox:** So same as usual?

 **Panther:** pretty much

 **Skull:** HEY

 **Joker:** That is so rude

 **Joker:** And so unbelievably true wow.

 **Skull:** wow rude

* * *

 

_November 13th 2017_

_5:04 pm_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Joker:** Hey uh you guys want to stop drawing on my face when I’m in the velvet room?

 **Skull:** the wut

 **Joker:** ….When I do that thing where I just stare at a wall for long periods of time.

 **Skull:** oh that

 **Skull:** nah dude

 **Joker:** I just walked into Leblanc with “Sojiro Sakura is a dilf” written across my goddamn face.

 **Skull:** pfff

 **Joker:** Which one of you fuckers did this.

 **Joker:** I know it wasn’t Makoto because she would never stoop so low, wasn’t Akechi because his handwriting is very unique and this is not that writing, and it wasn’t Yusuke because he would have either drawn something really detailed, or written it neatly. I swear even his goddamn handwriting looks like a masterpiece.

 **Queen:** I tried to talk them out of it.

 **Joker:** Try harder please. Next time I find a dick on my face I’m going to scream.

 **Joker:** I have never been more offended then when I found a really detailed dick on my face. Which one of you paid Yusuke and for how much.

 **Skull:** that one was all futaba

 **Oracle:** i paid him in ramen cups

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Okay that’s acceptable.

 **Joker:** But Yusuke why…

 **Fox:** It seemed necessary.

 **Oracle:** he got bored

 **Oracle:** and your face is the perfect canvas

 **Joker:** WHICH ONE OF YOU WROTE SOJIRO SAKURA IS A DILF

 **Joker:** Was this one Ann? This looks like either Ann or Haru’s handwriting.

 **Joker:** Ann I know you’re partially at fault here @Panther

 **Panther:** what??? i would never do that!!!

 **Joker:** Sure you wouldn’t you lying little bitch

 **Panther:** wow ok rude

 **Panther:** where is your proof?

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Morgana just told me it was Futaba’s suggestion and Ann wrote it both of you are fucking gremlins.

 **Joker:** OH MY GOD STOP DRAWING DICKS ON ME. I JUST NOTICED A FUCKING DICK ON MY GODDAMN NECK.

 **Joker:** WHICH ONE OF YOU WROTE FUCKING “I LIKE MY MEN HOW I LIKE MY COFFEE: HOT AND CAN HURT ME”

 **Joker:** SOJIRO LOOKS LIKE HE NEVER WANTS TO GIVE ME COFFEE EVER AGAIN AND I HAVE TO FUCKING EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT YOU GUYS ARE JUST ASSHOLES

 **Panther:** that explains why you went for yusuke at least

 **Fox:** No it doesn’t, I am physically cold at all times.

 **Panther:** … damn ok

 **Joker:** Futaba is actually on the floor she’s laughing so hard.

 **Panther:** what did sojiro say in response to the drawings on your face?

 **Joker:** Given that this happens more often then it should, he just told me to wash my face.

 **Joker:** Stop drawing on my face you damn gremlins. This has been happening since Madarame’s palace for fucks sake.

 **Joker:** How did that even happen?

 **Skull:** r u really askin that

 **Panther:** Akira…

 **Joker:** I realized my error as soon as I sent the message.

 **Joker:**...God dammit Yusuke.

 **Fox:** Ryuji just asked me for a marker, I was not the one who started drawing on your face.

 **Joker:** No, you just let Ryuji draw a dick on my face.

 **Joker:** This does explain why Akechi couldn’t look at me properly.

 **Panther:** he wanted to tell you but we talked him out of it.

 **Joker:** You’re all demons.

 **Joker:** At least no one drew Shrek this time. Futaba… Ryuji…

 **Skull:** wasnt enough room twinkechi took up the last space

 **Joker:** “Twinkechi?”

 **Oracle:** DAMMIT RYUJI WE PURPOSELY WERENT TELLING HIM THAT ONE

 **Joker:** _Where the fuck is twinkechi._

 **Fox:** Check under your bangs.

 **Joker:** Okay very funny. Which one of you little monsters wrote “Akechi is a twink” on my forehead.

 **Joker:** Nevermind, I can hear Futaba laughing from here. Of course it was her.

 **Joker:** I hate all of you. Except for Haru, she’s innocent.

 **Panther:** HA

 **Queen:** Sigh…

 **Fox:** Whatever you say, Akira.

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** What did Haru do…

 **Skull:** who do u think drew the dick on ur neck

 **Joker:**...You?

 **Skull:** nope try again

 **Joker:** …

 **Joker:** Nevermind, you’re all dead to me. Phantom Thieves are cancelled, now it’s just me and Morgana.

 **Queen:** No, Phantom Thieves are not cancelled. Wait until after the palace.

 **Joker:** >:(

 **Joker:** Just me, Morgana and Makoto. And Akechi, too, I guess. He didn’t draw on my face _unless there’s something y’all aren’t telling me._

 **Oracle:** yall

 **Joker:** @Crow did you draw on my face too or are you innocent here.

 **Crow:** What purpose would that serve? No, I did not draw on your face.

 **Skull:** entertainment

 **Panther:** i can’t believe you spelled that right ryuji

 **Skull:** wats that supposed to mean

 **Oracle:** akechi got really awkward when we called him a twink

 **Crow:** I have no comment.

 **Joker:** Sigh… Please stop drawing on my face.

 **Skull:** na

 **Oracle:** no >:3

 **Panther:** no

 **Fox:** No.

 **Queen:**...I can’t stop them.

 **Joker:** Why are you all fucking gremlins.

* * *

 

_November 13th 2017_

_5:33 pm_

 

**Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **YK:** Akira, we have to talk.

 **AK:** Uhh sure thing. What’s up?

 **AK:** Everything okay?

 **YK:** Yes, everything is fine.

 **YK:** It’s about one of your personas.

 **AK:** Oh thank God.

 **AK:** I just had a fucking heart attack please don’t start a conversation like that. I thought you were going to break up with me and it hasn’t even been three months.

 **YK:** What? No. It’s nothing like that.

 **AK:** Right. One of my personas.

 **AK:** Which one?

 **YK:** I think you know which one. It has raised a lot of concern throughout the team,

 **AK:** Uhhh

 **AK:** Wait.

 **AK:**...Describe this persona?

 **YK:** It is phallic and has several tentacles.

 **AK:** …

 **AK:** More specific?

 **YK:** Akira…

 **AK:** Pls.

 **YK:** It looks like a penis. With tentacles. It rides in a chariot with knives.

 **AK:** AJHKDSJFHFSKJDKJH

 **AK:** CHRIST TALK ABOUT DIRECT

 **YK:** Apparently “phallic” wasn’t specific enough. How many personas do you have that are phallic and have tentacles.

 **AK:** There’s a lot of weird ones okay.

 **AK:** Yeah you’re… talking about Mara. What about it?

 **YK:** Akira. Your persona is a penis. I tried to get around this fact but there is no denying what it is.

 **AK:** …

 **AK:** Okay I hear what you’re saying

 **AK:** It’s not what you think.

 **YK:** Personas typically represent something, or carry some form of symbolism, correct?

 **AK:** Yeah I think you’re right about that one.

 **AK:** Wait shit…

 **YK:** Care to explain?

 **AK:** It’s… not what you think.

 **YK:** Enlighten me, then.

 **AK:** … He’s weak to ice.

 **YK:** That does not help your case in the slightest.

 **AK:** … It really isn’t what you think.

 **YK:** You already said that.

 **AK:** …

 **YK:** …

 **AK:** Please believe me.

 **YK:** Akira, a part of yourself is a penis. It’s weak to ice, it goes flaccid after taking a lot of damage… There really is no getting around this.

 **AK:** I’m sorry he goes what

 **YK:** Don’t think I didn’t notice that detail. We all noticed that detail. As hard as I tried to ignore it or see things in a different perspective, I couldn’t. Your persona is a screaming dick with knives and tentacles.

 **AK:** …

 **AK:** It’s… not what you think…

 **YK:** Try to talk your way out of this one, Joker.

 **AK:** Ouch, okay.

 **AK:** Mara represents desire and the need to break out of confinement.

 **YK:** The confinement of what, exactly? Your jeans?

 **AK:** WOW OKAY

 **YK:** And desire? Define “desire.”

 **AK:** …

 **AK:** ….desire

 **YK:** You are aware that you are just making this worse for yourself, right?

 **AK:** …

 **AK:** Fuck.

 **AK:** Is this technically kinkshaming?

 **YK:** If you’re admitting that it has to do with a fetish, then yes.

 **AK:** I…

 **AK:** Okay.

 **AK:** I never said Mara was purely seuxal desire.

 **YK:** Akira. Just stop.

 **AK:** I

 **AK:** Ok

 **AK:** Screaming dicks aren’t sexy tho.

 **AK:** You know what is?

 **YK:** I don’t think I want to.

 **AK:** It’s you <3

 **YK:** First of all, that line doesn’t work.

 **AK:** :(

 **YK:** Second of all, you unfortunately are not able to charm your way out of this one, so you can cease your efforts.

 **AK:** _:(_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be totally honest, this chapter is entirely filler and self indulgence. Not really sure what any of you were expecting. Sae's palace pt.2 comes a little later so we still have some time to fill.  
> Listen I would die for half of these headcanons and yes I am throwing them in here fucking if you disagree you will have to rip them from my cold, dead, slimy hands. Come at me.  
> Alright real talk though this chapter has absolutely zero plot and is just me fucking around. It's been a real tough week for me, so I wasn't really able to do much with it. Most of this was just to try to make myself feel a bit better, so I hope it managed to make some of you laugh. The real shit will happen within 1-2 chapters, depending on the timeline.  
> Also yes, my guinea pig did actually name the files Haru sent. I didn't know what to put so...thanks, Piper. She's a sweetie who accidentally opened a new tab, refreshed the page three times and almost deleted everything. Hence why the file names don't match up with the usual formatting.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818


	42. Frick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Queen: Yusuke...  
> Skull: cognitive akechi is a bitch he prolly deserved it  
> Fox: Precisely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW I guess? The beginning portion of this chapter has a lot of sex jokes and references uhhh yeah. Not sure what happened there. Not really necessary to the plot but yeah that exists.

_November 14th 2017_

_3:02 am_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **FS:** hey

 **FS:** hey akira

 **FS:** akira wake up

 **FS:** this is important

 **FS:** i will hack your goddamn phone alarm

 **FS:** akira

 **FS:** you pushed me to this point

 **AK:** Oh my god what do you want you gremlin

 **AK:** I did not ask for the Horsecock Song in my ear at 3 am

 **FS:** you should have woken up :3c

 **AK:** What do you want gremlin.

 **FS:** what happens if someone gets killed during knifeplay

 **AK:** What

 **FS:** idk thats why im asking

 **FS:** is it technically murder?

 **AK:** That would probably be considered involuntary manslaughter, but I’m not sure. You should ask Haru that question, she seems to have all types of weird police information.

 **AK:** Or Makoto. Her sister is a prosecutor.

 **FS:** isnt all manslaughter involuntary :\

 **AK:** Well… yeah, but I think involuntary manslaughter is manslaughter in which you had no intention to kill or maim another person, while manslaughter is acting with malice but no intent to murder. Not too sure about that one though, you’d have to look it up.

 **FS:** huh

 **FS:** akira

 **FS:** akira dont you dare fall asleep again

 **AK:** I’m awake chill

 **AK:** What do you want

 **FS:** what do you call it when you vore something jokingly

 **AK:** What the fuck

 **FS:** to ingest in jest :3

 **AK:** Are you fucking serious

 **FS:** thats all now you can go back to sleep

 **AK:** Jesus christ

* * *

 

_November 15th 2017_

_1:42 pm_

 

**Yusuke Kitagawa → Ann Takamaki**

 

 **YK:** panther.img 

**YK:** How’s this?

 **AT:** that’s perfect!

 **AT:** shiho will love that thank you so much

 **AT:** also here i got a video of akira and ryuji re-enacting that weird piano vine

 **AT:** dorks.mov 

**AT:** they were recreating this vine

 **AT:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deBdzC5QVQw ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deBdzC5QVQw)

**YK:** Where did they even get a piano?

 **AT:** music room

 **YK:** Shujin has that?

 **AT:** apparently they do. i’m just as surprised as you

 **YK:** Since when does Akira know how to play piano?

 **AT:** i think he learned for the joke

 **AT:** i walked into leblanc once to see akira playing trombone for a joke

 **YK:** A man of many strange talents.

 **AT:** i also have a picture somewhere of him in red high heel cowboy boots wearing a rainbow “save a horse ride a cowboy” shirt

 **YK:** …

 **AT:** yeehaw.png 

**YK:** That is an atrocity. Why would he ever think to do that.

 **AT:** he wanted red cowboy boots

 **YK:** They’re disgusting.

 **AT:** i’m telling akira you said that

 **YK:** Please do. Please burn them while you’re at it.

 **AT:** if i get the chance i will

 **AT:** what about that shirt?

 **YK:** Burn that, too. That is just a monstrosity.

 **AT:** on it

 **AT:** akira gasped all offended like and said that they are a treasure

 **YK:** I don’t even know where to begin with that statement.

 **AT:** don’t yell at me about this, akira is the one with shit fashion choices

 **YK:** I no longer know who Akira is.

 **AT:** SJDGDF

* * *

 

_November 15th 2017_

_1:56 pm_

 

**Ann Takamaki → Shiho Suzui**

 

 **AT:** panther.img

 **AT:** my artist friend drew a picture of me as panther, since you said you wanted to see it.

 **SS:** You look great! I wish i could see you dressed like that in person.

 **AT:** haha no. if i had the option to change my outfit i would.

 **AT:** the tail also gets in the way a lot of the time. it hurts to sit on…

 **SS:** Yeah i can see how that would be an issue. You still look incredible.

 **SS:** And your friend is a really good artist.

 **AT:** yeah, he is really good. he got a scholarship for this high end art school that he goes to. really impressive

 **SS:** Can you thank him for me?

 **AT:** sure thing. he said he’d give me the drawing next time he sees me so that i can give it to you

 **SS:** Thank you so much!

 **AT:** anything for you <3

 **SS:** <3

 **AT:** the person who drew that is the same person who once drew a lobster in a dress. i have no idea why

 **SS:** Omg are you serious?

 **AT:** yeah. it looked good but… why a lobster in a dress?

 **SS:** Who knows. Maybe it’s symbolic of something.

 **AT:** maybe. either that or he just really likes lobsters.

 **AT:** at the beach over the summer he spent his money on two lobsters. i have no idea if he still has them or not

 **SS:** Why lobsters lol

 **AT:** no idea. something about art i think

 **AT:** i’ll have to ask if he still has the lobsters

 **SS:** Class is starting, i have to go. I’ll call you later okay?

 **AT:** sure thing. love you <3

 **SS:** love you too <3

* * *

 

_November 16th 2017_

_6:30 pm_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Joker:** Hey uh breaking news Futaba is no longer allowed in Leblanc. Ever.

 **Oracle:** >:\

 **Oracle:** rude

 **Noir:** Oh no! What happened?

 **Skull:** wat did the gremlin do this time

 **Joker:** I just walked upstairs to grab something before heading out, right.

 **Joker:** what-the-fuck.img 

**Skull:** r those condoms

 **Joker:** Yep. All over the floor.

 **Joker:** No explanation as to why or how.

 **Noir:** Well at least now you have them for when you need them.

 **Joker:** Pretty sure they’ll expire before I can even use all of them. No one should ever be using this many condoms.

 **Joker:** Unless you fuck like… seven times a day. That’s a little excessive, even for me.

 **Oracle:** and you have an actual dick persona

 **Joker:** And that. If anyone needs any condoms I have plenty of them.

 **Joker:** Wait it gets better though.

 **Oracle:** heheheh >:3

 **Joker:** Amidst all of these condoms, there’s a package with my name on it. I didn’t order anything recently, which was kind of weird.

 **Joker:** So I opened the package and what is it?

 **Joker:** 420blazeit.img 

**Noir:** Oh my

 **Skull:** dude

 **Joker:** It was a dick shaped bong.

 **Joker:** I don’t even… Where the hell…

 **Oracle:** >:3

 **Joker:** There’s one more thing though.

 **Skull:** oh no

 **Joker:** Inside the box there was a note. You know what that note said?

 **Noir:** What did it say?

 **Joker:** No capitalization, it said “please do not shove this up inari’s ass. you can only get lit on 4/20”

 **Joker:** Futaba I fucking hate you sometimes.

 **Oracle:** >:3c

 **Joker:** How did you even do this? Where did you get so many condoms?

 **Oracle:** _ >:3c _

**Joker:** Fuck. Do any of you want some condoms?

 **Skull:** dude…

 **Noir:** Akira…

 **Joker:** Fuck it you all get condoms.

 **Joker:** You’re a member of the phantom thieves? Here have a handful of condoms.

 **Joker:** Akechi gets condoms, Ann gets condoms, Makoto gets condoms, Morgana can have some condoms.

 **Joker:** Even Futaba and Yusuke get condoms and they’re ace. Futaba you can make some balloon animals or something.

 **Joker:** Yusuke can use them for art I guess.

 **Oracle:** heck yea

 **Skull:** i thought u were abt to say he could use them on u

 **Joker:** That too, but only if he’s interested.

 **Skull:** kjdsfhkjerhgf

 **Joker:** Haru, do you also want some condoms?

 **Joker:** Have some condoms.

 **Noir:** Hmm… Why not. I’ll take a few condoms.

 **Skull:** WDKJDFS

 **Oracle:** HARU HOLY FUCK SFSKJDGJDGTKR

 **Joker:** You can have all of the condoms if you want.

 **Noir:** No thank you. I don’t need all of the condoms.

 **Joker:** @Everyone You’re all getting free condoms. You can thank Futaba for this. She’s the one who gave me all of these fucking condoms.

 **Joker:** Hope you all need condoms. I have a ton of them.

* * *

 

_November 17th 2017_

_8:43 am_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Skull:** nice hickey btw

 **Skull:** WAIT SHIT WRONG CHAT that was meant to be a dm

 **Panther:** ryuji!!

 **Oracle:** no keep talking who has a hickey

 **Skull:** ann

 **Panther:** SHUT UP

 **Oracle:** _owo_

 **Oracle:** guess i should have dumped all those condoms on ann

 **Panther:** shut up it’s not like that i just fell

 **Skull:** u “fell” huh

 **Panther:** yeah

 **Skull:** u fell on ur neck?

 **Oracle:** no she fell into shihos bed

 **Skull:** pfff

 **Panther:** no!!!

 **Oracle:** ann dont even try to deny it

 **Oracle:** weve all seen the rope marks around your wrists

 **Panther:** THAT’S NOT WHAT THOSE ARE

 **Skull:** r we kinkshaming ann now

 **Oracle:** please we all know what youre into ryuji

 **Oracle:** one look at your search history will tell me everything i need to know

 **Skull:** lets not do that im not the one w hickies on my neck rn

 **Panther:** no keep going futaba, let’s kinkshame ryuji

 **Oracle:** “dominatrix puts bratty sub in place”

 **Oracle:** sounds kinky ryuji >:3 i have some good porn recs if youre interested

 **Panther:** oh? so ryuji really is a bottom?

 **Skull:** FUTABA COME ON THATS PERSONAL

 **Skull:** WTF I THOUGHT I CLEARED THAT

 **Oracle:** just cause you cleared it doesnt  mean i cant still find it

 **Oracle:** also no you didnt

 **Oracle:** use incognito next time dumbass

 **Panther:** wow ryuji. never would have pegged you as the type

 **Skull:** SHUT UP

 **Oracle:** ann was that a fucking pun

 **Panther:** mayhaps ;) 

 **Skull:** gOD

 **Oracle:** i am always ready to kinkshame

 **Oracle:** akira?

 **Oracle:** blue haired twinks. illegal

 **Skull:** dude

 **Panther:** @fox

 **Skull:** ann thats a dangerous game ur playing

 **Oracle:** makoto?

 **Oracle:** bratty sub

 **Skull:** o shit

 **Panther:** never would have pegged her as the type

 **Oracle:** haru?

 **Oracle:** sadist.

 **Skull:** i think we all saw that one comin

 **Panther:** yeah…

 **Oracle:** akechi?

 **Oracle:** hardcore masochist

 **Oracle:** the most bottom of bottoms

 **Panther:** KJADFKJKDKJLJL

 **Skull:** DUDE NO WAY

 **Oracle:** you think im making this up

 **Oracle:** i can kinkshame all of you

 **Panther:** even yusuke?

 **Skull:** _ann no_

 **Panther:** i’m just curious! she said all of us but he doesn’t seem like the most sexually driven person

 **Oracle:** ok everyone except inari

 **Oracle:** wait hold on lemme see if i can dig up anything

 **Oracle:** artsexual

 **Oracle:** uhh furry

 **Oracle:** im at a loss here

 **Oracle:** his search history is confusing but nothing i can shame him for

 **Oracle:** WAIT NO I FORGOT ABOUT HIS FUCKING ARTWORK

 **Oracle:** mpreg

 **Oracle:** pregnancy

 **Oracle:** uhhh inflation

 **Panther:** inflation?!

 **Skull:** _wat the fuck_

 **Oracle:** he drew buff sonic the hedgehog

 **Oracle:** i think that counts as inflation

 **Oracle:** like obscenely buff

 **Oracle:** no one should ever be that buff

 **Skull:** dammit… i dont think ill ever b able to look at him the same

 **Oracle:** calm down someone asked him to draw it as a joke

 **Oracle:** as far as i know he isnt actually into inflation

 **Panther:** oh thank god

 **Skull:** for fucks sake futaba

 **Oracle:** hey you asked

 **Oracle:** you asked me to shame and i did

 **Oracle:** ann?

 **Panther:** wait no

 **Oracle:** bondage smh

 **Panther:** i never said i was into bondage!!

 **Oracle:** you dont have to

 **Oracle:** ryuji?

 **Skull:** pls no

 **Oracle:** :)

 **Fox:** Ann and Ryuji, aren’t the two of you in class right now?

 **Skull:** yea…

 **Panther:** yeah..

 **Fox:** Shouldn’t you be paying attention?

 **Skull:** …

 **Panther:** yea…

 **Oracle:** inari read up

 **Fox:** …

 **Panther:** _futaba no_

 **Fox:**...I’m ignoring that.

 **Oracle:** >:3

 **Skull:** _when did u draw buff sonic and y_

 **Fox:** My school is full of enablers with pens. What did you expect.

 **Skull:** _yusuke y_

 **Fox:** It wasn’t by choice. Someone requested it. In some form, I suppose someone out there enjoys it.

 **Skull:** _yusuke_

 **Panther:** that’s kind of a nice way of looking at things but

 **Panther:** why

* * *

 

_November 17th 2017_

_9:17 pm_

 

**Talk Shit Get Hit**

 

 **Joker:** Tomorrow we send the calling card. Is everything in place?

 **Fox:** Cognitive Akechi is locked in a closet and the fake treasure is in place, yes.

 **Queen:** I still can’t believe you slapped him, Yusuke…

 **Panther:** yusuke did what?!

 **Queen:** He bitch slapped cognitive Akechi.

 **Fox:** It was unintentional.

 **Queen:** How was it unintentional? You were just supposed to push him in the closet and shut the door so that I could padlock it. You slapped him so hard he bashed his head into the closet wall. How did you manage that?

 **Joker:** I am… so proud.

 **Fox:** Unintentional.

 **Queen:** Yusuke…

 **Skull:** cognitive akechi is a bitch he prolly deserved it

 **Fox:** Precisely.

 **Joker:** Anyways, Ryuji you know where the treasure is?

 **Skull:** yup

 **Joker:** So two days from now when we ask you and Yusuke to retrieve it, you know where to go?

 **Skull:** yup

 **Joker:** Got it. I’ll be relying on you guys.

 **Joker:** Tomorrow we’re meeting up at Leblanc and discussing what to do about the calling card. Has it been prepared yet?

 **Fox:** It has.

 **Queen:** It’s ready to be sent out.

 **Joker:** You guys are amazing.

 **Panther:** are you sure we should go through with this?

 **Joker:** Positive. It’s the only shot we have.

 **Joker:** You guys just need to escape. The rest is all on me.

 **Joker:**...And Futaba, who needs to talk Sae Niijima through the procedure when it comes down to it. But I need to convince her.

 **Skull:** idk dude… r u sure u can handle it

 **Joker:** I’ve been through worse. It’ll be fine.

* * *

 

_November 17th 2017_

_9:19 pm_

 

**Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **YK:** You can stop doing that.

 **AK:** Doing what?

 **YK:** That. When you pretend everything is okay, and there’s no problems at all.

 **YK:** It’s almost inappropriate to be reacting that way during this situation.

 **AK:** I’m not pretending everything is okay. I just don’t want you guys to worry.

 **YK:** In doing so, you’re just making us worry more. We all know the risks that come with this plan. Of course we’re going to worry about you. You mean a lot to all of us. You mean everything to me. Why wouldn’t we worry about you?

 **YK:** Stop acting like the risks aren’t an issue. They are an issue. This entire plan is an issue.

 **AK:** What do you want me to say? That I’m scared shitless? That in about two days time I could die and the thought of that makes me so anxious I feel like I’m about to puke? Because, guess what, I am.

 **AK:** I am so fucking scared you have no idea. Everything could go horribly wrong and I could wind up dead in a room so far underground no one will ever even know what happened?

 **AK:** Because, yeah, that could happen. And the thought fucking terrifies me. But guess what? I’m the leader. I’m the one they’re after. If I put myself in this position, then that means the rest of you will be safe.

 **AK:** Sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so aggressive there. I’m just… fuck, I don’t know. I’m really scared about all of this, but if I pretend I’m not just maybe I can convince myself that it’s not that bad?

 **YK:** Akira, you can’t just lie to yourself and pretend everything is okay. I’ve been there, and it doesn’t work. It never works. You are a human being with real emotions, just like the rest of us. You have every right to be scared right now.

 **AK:** I know… Sorry, there’s just.

 **AK:** Fuck. I knew doing this shit would be risky but I didn’t realize I would be put in a situation where I might have to die.

 **AK:** But if it means making sure all of you are safe, then shoot me already, you know? I am absolutely willing to put my life on the line, no matter how nerve wracking, if it means all of you are okay.

 **AK:** I think it’s all the anticipation and planning going around this. Could...really deal without all this dumb build up, you know?

 **AK:** Ah well. Guess this is where we are right now.

 **AK:** We’re all scared. Let’s face it, the odds things will go smoothly are about as shitty as they’ve ever been. Fuck, somehow they’re even shittier than they were that time we had to face that cheater douchebag in Mementos, and we couldn’t land a single hit on that dude for the longest time.

 **AK:** But this plan is all we got right now. Yeah, it’s reckless, and dangerous and completely flawed but it’s all we can do. We have to at least try.

 **AK:** It sucks but we all have a part to play.

 **YK:** You’re acting as if it’s not a big deal again.

 **AK:** Sorry.

 **AK:** You’re right. I have to stop doing that. Yeah, I guess it is a big deal. I’m getting arrested again, this time willingly, and Akechi could potentially kill me. I’ll do my best, though. I just have to tell Sae the truth and get her to show Akechi my phone, right?

 **YK:** How are you going to do that?

 **AK:** Wing it? Tell her to shove my phone in Akechi’s face? I don’t know. I’ll figure it out, I guess. It all depends on a variety of factors.

 **AK:** Which, I guess, is why this plan is as risky as it is. It is very dependant on factors we have no control over. If one thing is slightly against us, it could be game over.

 **AK:** And yeah, that’s scary.

 **AK:** Fuck I really don’t know what to say right now. I’m so scared of this entire plan.

 **YK:** Promise me something.

 **AK:** Uhh sure?

 **YK:** Whatever happens, make it out alive, okay?

 **YK:** We need you. _I_ need you.

 **AK:** I’ll do everything I can to stay alive.

* * *

 

_November 18th 2017_

_10:00 pm_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Queen:** Sis received the calling card.

 **Joker:** Way to go, Queen. How’d she handle it?

 **Queen:** She was… visibly annoyed. The calling card addresses her like she is a criminal. She’s more determined than ever to catch us.

 **Crow:** We’ll just have to change her heart first.

 **Queen:** Yes.

 **Joker:** Alright. After school tomorrow, we do this.

 **Joker:** Final heist. Let’s go out with a bang.

* * *

 

_November 18th 2017_

_10:02 pm_

 

**Talk Shit Get Hit**

 

 **Queen:** I confirmed that the interrogation would be taking place in an underground room.

 **Joker:** This room is the same one we confirmed to be unaffected in the Metaverse, yeah?

 **Queen:** Yes. They are identical. You wouldn’t even know you it was in the Metaverse.

 **Joker:** Perfect. You’re amazing, Makoto.

 **Queen:** I’m just trying my best.

 **Skull:** last call. u sure were doin this akira?

 **Joker:** We are going through with this. If I die then I die. The calling card has been sent and the moment we defeat Shadow Sae there will be a shit ton of cops outside the palace, waiting to arrest us. It’s either we do this, I’m the only one to get arrested and the rest of you remain safe and unnamed (and also bust me out of prison) or all of us get arrested.

 **Skull:** wdym if u die u die? do u even kno wat ur saying?

 **Skull:** its like u dont even care

 **Joker:** Of course I care, there’s just other things to be focused on.

 **Joker:** Look. It’s too late to back out now. It’s all or nothing, okay? Somethings are just worth the risk.

 **Joker:** You guys, my _team,_ are worth every risk. If looking death in the face means that the rest of you are okay, then it’s worth everything.

 **Queen:** Akira…

 **Skull:** ur safety means everything to us dude

 **Joker:** I’ll be okay. I promise, I’ll be okay.

 **Queen:** Will you, though?

 **Joker:** I’ll be fine. I really don’t want to talk about it. The plan has been made, everything has been set up, all that’s left is to go out there and play this stupid game.

 **Skull:** dude..

 **Joker:** It’ll be okay.

* * *

 

_November 19th 2017_

_8:18 pm_

 

The reality of the situation hadn’t completely set in until he was forced to it square in it’s stupid fucking face.

One. Since the beginning Yusuke had been against the plan, but it was all they had. Still, somehow it hadn’t fully sunk in until the moment they stepped foot into Sae Niijima’s casino for the last time. His heart pounded anxiously against his chest, like a dog forced into a shallow kennel.

Two. They agreed to consult in the safe room before fighting Sae’s shadow. Every heist, every mission, they consulted at every given moment. Especially now, Yusuke thought, did they truly have to discuss their current situation. If there was one thing Akira was good at, it was addressing the situation.

Three. Akira guided the meeting with a firm grip. His trademark Joker smirk tugged at his lips. If Yusuke didn’t know better, he’d assume Akira had no idea what was about to happen. Akira’s poker face truly was a force to be reckoned with. Joker, in general, was his own type of danger.

Madarame may have been, in Ryuji’s words, a “shitty adult” but living with him did have a few perks. For example, during emotionally distressing situations, such as a situation in which one’s significant other was about to be murdered by a traitor and then made to look like a suicide, Yusuke knew how to keep his emotions inside. No matter how much it hurt, he had to keep it together, just a bit longer.

Four. Akira nodded in agreement at something Crow had said. Yusuke resisted the urge to freeze Akechi where he stood. _Just a bit longer._ This far in, and Akechi still insisted on acting like he and Joker were business partners. Maybe even friends. Maybe more.

Five. Queen responded to Crow’s statement. Whatever she had said went completely in one ear and out the other. Her jaw was set tight, with an intensity strong enough to break. Queen was just as on edge as the rest of them. Perhaps one day, Yusuke could somehow capture her intensity in one of his pieces. Queen was also her own type of dangerous.

Six. Akira tugged at one of his bright red gloves. His Joker smirk grew wider. Yusuke wasn’t sure he could even count the number of times he had attempted to paint that smirk. Something in the back of his mind reminded him that, whatever happened tonight, there was a high chance it would be the last time he ever got to see that devious Joker smirk.

Somehow, Ann caught Yusuke’s eye. She flashed him a warm, wry smile. Yusuke couldn’t find it within himself to return the gesture. He could only imagine they were thinking the same thing.

Seven. Ann stood and whispered something to Akira. What it was, Yusuke was unable to hear. Yusuke’s stomach continued to eat away at itself in anticipation.

Eight. “Alright. It’s time guys. Let’s keep going.” Akira stated. The other thieves slowly began to disperse.

Yusuke hung back, behind the others. Akira made sure to let everyone else leave before him. Of course. Was Akira trying to catch one more moment alone with Yusuke? He couldn’t tell. Akira was wildly unpredictable. The safe room cleared out. Akira approached Yusuke.

Nine. Akira removed his mask and tossed it on the table. Yusuke followed his example.

“You’re thinking about it too, huh,” Akira muttered. It wasn’t a question, but a statement. An observation, really. A gross mixture of neon yellow and navy blue crawled through Yusuke. Some color combinations worked perfectly. Crimson red and ice blue, for example. Colors of passion and strength, determination and loyalty and honesty. Neon and navy, however, were not one of those combinations. Yellow and blue, while the proper shades and shapes could look flawless, together were colors of anxiety and conflict, sadness and melancholy. Yusuke duly noted the presence of that combination quite a bit recently.

Akira sighed. “Guess this is it. We’re really going through with this,” he chuckled dryly. “I know I don’t look it, but right now I’m terrified.”

Yusuke’s throat was dry. He struggled to find the words to properly convey everything inside.

Fear.

Realization.

Anger.

Disgust.

Anxiety.

Love, maybe.

Somewhere, a hint of rose, pastel love. Somewhere, underneath layers and layers of conflicting patterns

None of it made much sense. All the colors blended together, all the different shades just mixed in, inevitably creating a horrid brown. The different themes he had attempted to capture or portray over the years just morphed into one, completely broken theme: Heartbreak.

Akira tapped his fingers against the table. “Listen, I. If I don’t get a chance to say it later, I just--”

“Don’t.” Yusuke cut in. “Whatever it is you’re about to say, save it. You’ll get a chance to say it later.”

Akira widened his eyes in surprise. “Yusuke--”

“No. You’re going to make it out alive. You said you would make it out alive, so I will hear nothing else.” Everything internally protested. In the back of his mind, he knew chances were incredibly slim. That didn’t mean he couldn’t hold onto the small hope that Akira would be okay. The obscenely, next to impossible chances. Perhaps it was just naive optimism. “Here, let me put it in terms familiar to you. How about we strike a deal of sorts?”

Akira’s hand twitched. Something glittered behind silver irises. That same look he had given when striking a deal with Akechi. The same look he had given when approaching Yusuke outside of thief business for the first time. “A deal? What kind of deal?”

“You make it out alive, and you can have whatever it is you want, as well as finish that initial statement.” Surprisingly, Yusuke’s voice was completely steady. He slowly inhaled before continuing. “Whatever you want from me.”

Akira raised an eyebrow. “Anything? What if I all I want is to spend time with you. Just you. No one else.”

“Then you can have it. All you have to do is come back.”

“Simple enough. I accept your conditions,” Akira stepped closer, and suddenly he was in Yusuke’s personal space. He wrapped his arms around Yusuke’s neck, and pressed his lips against Yusuke’s.

Ten. It was a soft, chaste kiss. A quick kiss, to seal the contract.

A kiss to show Yusuke just how stupidly unfair the entire situation really was.

* * *

 

_November 19th 2017_

_8:57 pm_

 

Eleven. Sae’s shadow crumpled to the ground in defeat. Makoto was immediately at her side. Akira placed a comforting hand on her shoulder in support.

Akechi raised an eyebrow. “It’s just a shadow. Why are you so--”

Ann elbowed him in the side and shushed him. He stuttered out an apology.

Twelve. Joker turned to Yusuke and Ryuji. “The two of you, go find the treasure. The rest of us will stay here with Queen for now.” Yusuke’s heart sank, like an anchor.

Ryuji nodded. “Got it.”

Thirteen. Ryuji signalled for Yusuke to follow. The two of them stalked off to find the treasure. Yusuke gnawed on his tongue in attempt to ease the seething shades of watery, tangerine orange that was coursing through him. If this situation was a canvas, it would be, without a doubt the ugliest painting he would ever see. Just a gross mixture of oranges and yellows and greens and blues, all surrounding a large splotch of gray right in the center. Lately, Yusuke had come to associate Akechi with that color. It was drab and untruthful, just like Akechi.

Fourteen. The brief case was just around the corner, right by the actual treasure. Part of Yusuke was tempted to grab that as well, but doing so would only ruin their already flawed plan. Grabbing the real treasure would guarantee failure. Ryuji grabbed the fake treasure, the briefcase they had planted there just a couple of days before.

Fifteen. Ryuji stood still, and turned to face Yusuke. Awkwardly, he tugged at his belt with the hand not gripping the case. “Uh, hey man, listen. I get that you might be nervous ‘bout all of this, but--”

Yusuke rolled his eyes. Instantly, his own poker face, and own walls of ice flew back up. It was practically second nature at this point. Yusuke couldn’t remember the last time he was this cold towards his team. It was unfair, but then again, so wasn’t life. “Stop. We both know what happens from here, and everyone is nervous about it.” Ryuji wouldn’t even be able to begin to understand just how much it was eating Yusuke up inside. Yusuke wasn’t sure he even knew how bad it all was.

The voice in his head, that he kept locked up at all times, was screaming. With each passing moment, it screamed louder and louder. The bars of the cage that held the voice back were beginning to crack. It was getting angry, and the moment it broke free it was going to mercilessly attack Yusuke with everything it had. All he could do was attempt to strengthen the bars.

Ryuji made a face. “I mean, yeah we’re all a bit nervous here, but that’s…” He shook his head. “What I’m tryin’ to say is that Akira is your damn boyfriend. We’re all pretty scared, yeah, but we’re not all dating the dude. All of us care about him, though. And just--” Ryuji stopped himself. He sighed. “Akira is strong, dude. If anyone can make it out of this, he can. He’s going to be okay.”

With the hand not holding the briefcase, Ryuji squeezed Yusuke’s shoulder. The gesture was oddly comforting. Yusuke nodded and mentally thanked Ryuji for the support.

Fifteen. Ryuji and Yusuke walked back, soundlessly to the rest of the group. Each step was another knife in Yusuke’s heart.

Sixteen. Ryuji announced that they found the treasure. At that moment, Futaba made a noise similar to that of a squeak. Yusuke’s breaths became shallow.

“Huh? Enemy readings. When did they…?” She looked around wildly, as if the enemies were in the same room. She pushed her goggles further up her nose. “They’re gathering outside.”

Seventeen. And so it began.

Green text  surrounded Futaba and she began aimlessly tapping away at it. Ryuji tightened his grip on the briefcase. “The hell’s goin’ on?” As if he didn’t already know.

The numbers on screen (was that even the right term if they were in mid air?) began rapidly increasing, going up by hundreds each second. Yusuke inhaled sharply. “Look at those numbers…”

Ann pressed a gloved hand to her mouth. “This doesn’t look good.”

Morgana hopped forward. “We defeated the palace ruler and took the treasure, yet the shadows are still restless. It doesn’t make any sense. What’s going on here?” He demanded.

“There are more coming? This’ll be dangerous if we don’t do something.” Futaba stated. Most of her attention was drawn to the numbers.

Eighteen. One large screen in the middle showed men in black suits slowly surrounding the outside of the casino. Static picked up on Futaba’s end of things. Choppy, robotic voices echoed through the receiver. Morgana shook his head. “This isn’t good. We need to go, _now._ Those guys in black suits are almost here. We’ll be done for if we get surrounded.”

Makoto, who had at some point stood from her sister’s shadow’s side and rejoined the group, pressed a gloved finger to her bottom lip. “A team this large would be discovered immediately. We had best split up for our escape. Although, we’ll need someone to act as a decoy…”

Yusuke’s heart crawled into his throat.

Akira, as brave and reckless as ever, stepped forward. “I’ll do it. The rest of you, go.”

Makoto widened her eyes, feigning surprise. “Joker?! Are you _planning_ to distract them by yourself?”

Ryuji shook his head. “Let him do it, Queen. He’s quiet but… once his mind is made up, he’s not gonna take no for an answer.”

Nineteen. Ryuji held the briefcase out to Akira, who accepted it wordlessly. “I’m sure you ain’t gonna die. This is you we’re talkin’ about.” Ryuji reassured. The words held a double meaning, similar to the freshly sharpened edges of a double sided sword.

Akira flashed a smug smile. “Of course I won’t die.” Confidence coated his every syllable. Yusuke almost believed the confidence was genuine.

“Even more are coming!” Futaba yelped. “We have to go, _now.”_

Twenty. The rest of the group began to take off in one direction. Akira reached out and grasped Yusuke’s wrist, holding him back a moment.

Akira tilted his head to the side and quickly their lips met in a rushed goodbye.

For just half a moment, all of Akira’s internal were let down for once. Even to Yusuke, the fear written on his face was completely visible.

As quick as it had come, every defense was back up. Akira’s grip slackened, and Yusuke was entirely breathless.

Without another word, Akira took off in one direction, and Yusuke took off in the other.

* * *

 

_November 19th 2017_

_9:12 pm_

 

Ten. The briefcase sat heavy in Akira’s hand. It was fake, and completely empty, and just another reminder of their failure. The last heist before Akira’s potential demise, and they couldn’t even have stolen a real treasure.

Futaba and Morgana barked commands and directions in Akira’s ear. Before heading into the palace, Futaba had shoved a communicator into the palm of Akira’s hand and demanded he took it. She was their navigator and insisted on guiding him, even if it meant guiding him to near death. Besides, they needed to know of his position if they were going to bust him out of jail later. That was, if he survived.

Nine. Men in black suits entered the casino through the doors in the slots room. Akira weaved in between the lights and banisters, undetected. They’d have to catch him eventually, but he could at least toy with them, right? God, they were lame.

He leapt on top of one of the lights and positioned himself in front of the entire parlor. One of the people, part of Sae’s cognition, Akira presumed, pointed up at him, garnering the attention of the men in black suits.

Shadows and cognitive patrons were shoved out of the way by the agents. Akira couldn’t help the sickly sweet smile that crawled onto his face. “Aww, they’re tripping over each other for me?” Akira cooed. The adrenaline coursed through him. If only there was a chance he could slip away…

“Joker. Keep moving.” Futaba commanded. “Get out of there.”

Ah well. What came next was scary, but he could at least enjoy the fun while it lasted, right? It was almost a breath of fresh air.

He jumped off the light and onto the balcony, and weaved through the shadows to the backrooms.

Eight. Somehow, Joker found himself in one of the obscenely long stairwells. Men in suits maneuvered the halls like cockroaches. Joker rolled his eyes and sprinted upwards.

Men in suits followed. _Shit._ They must have spotted him.

Seven. Akira rounded a corner. The adrenaline shook through his chest cavity.

A door was located at the end of the hallway. Akira sprinted as quickly as he could and burst through it.

Six. Somehow, he was on the balcony for the front entrance to the casino. The door was so close, but…

“The exit should be just up ahead. Is something wrong?” Futaba stated. Some clicking echoed on her end, most likely her typing rapidly. “Wait. Shit, they have that exit secured. I’m looking for an alternate route, just hang tight. See if you can find a way out.”

Joker dug his gloved fingers into the glossy wood of the railing. Just on the other side of the room was a large stained glass window, presumably leading directly to the outside.

“Through there…”

He could practically hear the smile in Futaba’s voice. “After all commotion, the bottom floor is completely closed off. Can you make it?”

Five. Akira, in turn, swung himself up until he stood directly on the railing. At that moment the door burst open and men in suits gathered along the balcony.

Joker ran across the railing. His blood diverted away from his gut and flew through his muscles. Fight or flight, huh?

Four. From across the way, the men had their guns pointed directly at Akira. That was fine, the window was practically within arm’s reach. His mouth twitched. “See ya.”

Three. He jumped through the window.

Screams echoed throughout the entire casino.

Futaba scoffed. “...What a show off.”

Ann’s voice picked up from somewhere. “You’re so reckless, you know that?”

Two. Akira landed, nearly perfectly on his feet, before falling back, and rolling. Shattered glass came down around him like snowflakes, or maybe cherry blossoms like in those cheesy romance animes that Futaba had him watch with her.

He stood, and bright lights surrounded him. Shit… they had him targeted.

Futaba groaned. “Enemies, here? These readings… it can’t be…”

“What happened?” A male voice. This one, likely Ryuji.

“An ambush?” Futaba.

“Joker, can you handle this?” A feminine voice, neither male or female. Morgana.

“Capture him!” That one was a random cop. It hadn’t even come through the communicator.

Akira huffed. He held out his arm and showed the police officers just one finger, then took off running. There was a ladder somewhere up ahead, perhaps he could climb up that, onto the rooftop and escape by hopping over the roofs of the surrounding buildings--

One. The metal of the ladder rungs were cold. He pushed himself up, bit by bit, clawing at the metal bars, the wind hot against his skin, the noise of his blood flow combined with that of the different alarms and yelling and the police officers. He grinned smugly at the sight of the officers scurrying around underneath him, unable to reach him--

Zero. More officers were waiting for him. The butt of a gun was forcefully bashed against Joker’s face. Pain erupted on contact. Shit, did they just break his nose? His grip on the ladder slackened, and he slipped away.

Impact. More pain shot through his body against the cold concrete floor. Immediately officers and swat team members were all over him. Someone’s knee was against his back, and hands were on his wrists. Someone else firmly dug his face into the cracking concrete, and handcuffs were aggressively placed around his wrists, definitely a bit too tight, and all at once all this pain shot through him. Someone snatched the communicator away from him and someone else stomped it into the ground, completely destroying it. Futaba was going to be upset about that later...

Well. Fun was fun. Onto the less fun part of the plan, he timidly thought against the fading adrenaline. Onto the part where he was killed.

“Didn’t expect to find some kid,” One of the men in black suits approached him. He knelt against the ground and grabbed a fistful of Akira’s hair. “You have your teammate to thank for this. You were sold out”

 _Akechi…_ That bastard really did plan to betray them. Akira swallowed harshly.

The man let Akira’s head fall to the ground once more. Roughly his cheek bashed against the pavement. More pain… More hands on him…

“Suspect confirmed. Cuff him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)  
> Enjoy, you heathens.  
> Also yeah, Cognitive Akechi was apparently actually a thing. You just didn't come across him in Sae's palace, which is so fucking dumb I would have killed for that. But yeah, it's actually canon that Phantom Thieves locked him in a closet. I'm not making it up, look it up if you want. I did take... a lot of creative liberty though. Not like the game gave me ANY MATERIAL TO WORK WITH ASIDE FROM THE KNOWLEDGE OF HIS EXISTENCE.  
> If someone wants to draw Ryuji and Akira re-enacting that vine, or Akira wearing cowboy boots and a "save a horse ride a cowboy shirt" I would honestly owe you my entire life.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818


	43. 11/20 sae saves the day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FS: wait does this mean youre into feederism  
> YK: No.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: anxiety, attempted murder, abuse uhhh basically it's exactly what you'd expect from the interrogation room scene.

_November 20th 2017_

_11:20 am_

 

A bucket of cold water and a kick to the face was not the ideal way to wake up.

Akira gasped. Icy water droplets dripped down his hair and soaked through the front of his school uniform. Everything was hazy…

What happened…? He remembered getting caught but… everything before and was a blur. Was there something he was supposed to tell somewhat? What was it?

Akira coughed. He went to move his arm, but was abruptly pulled back. Handcuffs… Of course they handcuffed him to a chair. His wrists ached. In any other situation, he may have actually enjoyed being kept in handcuffs and treated with zero respect, but in any other situation he would have had the option to safeword out of there if it got too far. This was beyond that.

He turned his head slightly to the side. Something in one of the upper corners glowed. Was that… a camera…?

A security camera. Whatever the police had done to him was sure to have been filmed, right? Maybe he would get some sort of justice out of this hell.

“No dozing off.”

Some muppet looking douchebag in a black suit stood over Akira intimidatingly. “You still don’t get it, do you?”

Akira growled. Sharp pains crawled up his body. His nerves cried out in agony, but there was nothing he could do to stop the pain. He had to get out of there…

Empty needles littered the floor. What the hell had been in there? Akira’s head swam.

“Give it up.” Douchebag barked. He brought up his leg and angrily kicked Akira, as hard as he could, square in the side.

Akira, chair and all, fell to the floor. His head knocked against the floor, and he grunted out a moan of pain.

“Come on, cooperate.” Douchebag commanded. He placed his foot against Akira’s head and firmly pressed down. “Or what? You want another shot?”

The pain was almost unbearable. Akira hissed through his teeth. The combined pressure of the floor and Douchebag’s foot were making his head want to explode. Any more pressure, and it probably would.

Akira stared up at the security camera once more. Someone would have to see that footage, eventually. When that happened, the events that transpired would show exactly the sort of brutality he was put through.

Douchebag followed Akira’s field of vision. “Huh? What about the camera? Are you thinking it can be used as video evidence?” Douchebag scoffed. He crouched down and yank Akira’s head upwards by his hair.

Akira elected to stay silent and just glare. _Asshole…_

“I asked you a question, dammit.” Douchebag snarled. He dropped Akira’s head once more, allowing Akira’s cheek to collide with the floor.

Akira had to bite back another noise. That cheek must have been the same one the cops had pressed into the concrete when arresting him, if the recurring pain had something to say about it. Akira suspected there was already a bruise there.

Douchebag stood and brought his leg back once more, before aggressively colliding his foot with Akira’s chest once more.

Akira coughed and groaned once more. He doubled forward as much as he physically could in his restraints.

His chest cavity burned. The sickly metallic taste of blood coated the back of Akira’s throat.

Some other dick in a black suit, Akira hadn’t even noticed him, handed Douchebag a clipboard. Douchebag accepted it and turned back to Akira.

“Let’s see… Obstruction of justice, blackmail, defamation, possession of weapons… Manslaughter too, yeah? Talk about the works,” Douchebag listed. “To think that all those crimes were led by a punk like this. You seemed to be enjoying every second of it, huh.”

 _I was enjoying it…?_ Akira wondered. Was he enjoying it? He could believe it. A thick fog had shrouded his mind. Akira was going to have to blindly reach through it to pull out the information needed. Either that, or he’d somehow have to clear it all away… but how?

“You should know your place.” Douchebag growled. He turned to the other dick in a black suit and jerked his head towards Akira. The other dick approached Akira and removed the handcuffs.

Instantly, Akira sat up and cradled his arms against his chest, as if caring for a small animal. Dark ringed bruises went all around his wrists. Yep… definitely not the kinky type of handcuffs. Not kinky at all.

Douchebag thrusted a clipboard into Akira’s face. “Sign here. It’s a confession under your name.”

Akira briefly examined it. With a slight sigh, he took the clipboard and signed his name. Directly underneath, he was tempted to add the words “eat shit.” Somehow, he highly doubted it would be appreciated. If anything, it would likely result in more police brutality.

Douchebag leaned his face close to Akira. “Don’t expect to walk out of here in one piece. We are going to make you understand. One must take full responsibility for their actions.”

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_3:52 pm_

 

Somehow, Akira had been ushered to a table. Interrogation, huh? Well, not like anyone interrogating him would ever believe him.

The door opened. The chair directly in front of him was pulled out, and a rather familiar face took a seat. Akira willed himself to look up. His head throbbed.

The woman in front of him let out a noise like a surprised gasp.

Sae Niijima…

“...I didn’t expect it would be you.” Sae admitted.

Akira willed his mouth into a sideways smirk. “Surprise.”

Sae shook her head. “You’ll be answering my questions this time.” Several used needles sat against the floor of the interrogation room. Needles that had at one point been used against Akira. When or where he was admissioned those shots, or what was in there, he didn’t know. Apparently, though, Sae did. “Those bastards,” She turned towards Akira. “Can you hear me? It seems you’ve been through a lot. Almost anything can happen here, and I can’t stop them. That’s why I need you to answer me honestly. I don’t have much time with you, either. What was your objective? Why did you cause such a major incident?”

Akira slumped forward on the table. Exhaustion covered him like a blanket. Somewhere, he wanted to listen the soft alluring voice, telling him to just give in and sleep. He shrugged. “...Justice.” The word was bitter. Or maybe that was just the blood he had coughed up.

Sae’s eyebrows furrowed. “I didn’t think it was a prank from the get-go, but I couldn’t assemble a case for prosecution. It’s because I couldn’t figure out the method behind it.”

Akira shook his head. “Of course you couldn’t... Why do you want to know?”

“This isn’t an issue of whether or not it can be used in court. I need to know. This is _my_ case.” Sae stated. She remained calm and patient with him, but the fact that she was still treating the case like a gamble rubbed Akira the wrong way.

“It seems you’re coherent,” Sae observed. “When and where did you find out about that world? How is it even possible to steal another’s heart? Now, tell me your account of everything. Start from the very beginning.”

Akira sighed once more. “Okay, it’s a long story but... I’ll tell you what I can recall.”

* * *

 

 

_November 20th 2017_

_4:14 pm_

 

“So you mean to tell me that a castle just _appeared_ at your school? That’s completely ridiculous.”

Akira rested his head against his hand. “Well, that’s what happened. Instead of the school, Skull and I found a gross castle where Kamoshida was the king. While we were in there, I ripped my face off, awakened to my persona, and we met Mona. I think…” He rubbed at his eyes. “It was a good day.” Akira had taken to referring to his teammates by his codenames. He was going to protect them, and their identities, even if it was the last thing he did. Sae had already asked about it, and he had refused to give away their real names. She was just going to have to expect that Ryuji was permanently going to be known as “Skull” during his retelling of the story.

“That is complete nonsense!” Sae huffed in annoyance. “Wait. ‘Persona?’” She leaned further forward in her seat. “Explain to me what that is.”

“It represents one’s inner rebellion and ability to stand up to authority. Mona could explain it better.”

She leaned forward and folded her hands. “That does not make any sense. For the sake of interrogation, fine, I’ll go along with your fantasy story. Tell me, what happened after you awakened to this ‘persona.’”

“After that? Uh…”

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_4:56 pm_

 

“..And his eyes are so pretty. Jesus fuck. It should be illegal for any boy to ever be that fine--”

“Kurusu, could you please get back on topic. I don’t care how pretty ‘Fox’ is or isn’t. What I do care about is how you managed to change Madarame’s heart.” Sae cut in. “Explain to me more about this ‘museum.’ Very similar methods were used in both Madarame and Kamoshida’s cases.”

“The museum? Oh, that… Right. We discovered Madarame did have a palace. In order to get to his treasure, we…”

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_5:44 pm_

 

“Kurusu, you’re not making any sense,” Sae crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. “You told me that each member of your team earned these ‘abilities’ by awaking to what you call a ‘persona.’ And now you’re telling me the next member to join your team, Queen as you have taken to calling her, did not have a persona but instead had a motorcycle?”

Akira waved a hand. “Her motorcycle is her persona. Weird, huh? Johanna, the motorbike, is nothing like any other persona. I didn’t think it could get any weirder than the demon thing riding a toilet. Then I saw the dick chariot persona…”

“What…? What  are you going on about? Nevermind, get back on topic. Queen awakened her persona, what happened next?”

“Right. So Queen awakened to her persona, and then…”

* * *

 

 

_November 20th 2017_

_6:14 pm_

 

Sae held up her hands. “Stop, stop, stop. You mean to tell me that you changed the heart of a random person so that you could target Medjed?”

“At her request, yeah.” Akira rubbed at his eye with the back of his hand. Various scrapes along his face scratched at his bruised skin. “Oracle. We didn’t exactly change her heart, but we did help her. The deal was if we changed her heart, she would take care of Medjed. She joined the team soon after we changed her heart, too.”

“These ‘palaces,” Sae duly noted. “It does not affect the palace owner if they were to enter their own palace?”

“As far as we know for short periods of time, it’s okay. Or so it seems… We haven’t really tested it out yet.”

“Can you give me a rough estimate? How long is a palace owner allowed in their own palace?”

“Well… at least a few hours. Maybe more…”

Depending on how long Sae kept him there, they’d find out soon enough.

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_6:59 pm_

 

“Kurusu, I don’t need to know all of the details of the palace,” Sae brushed a strand of silver hair over her shoulder. “You don’t have to keep telling me how much of a struggled Okumura’s ‘palace’ was, or that it was during this ‘palace’ where you and Fox really established your relationship. I understand changing his heart was a difficult task, and that you are in love with your teammate. Please get back on track. You stole Okumura’s heart, correct?”

Akira shrugged, and barely managed to suppress the flinch following. His shoulders ached. “Yeah. We used the same exact method. Secure a route, send a calling card, steal the treasure. We did all of that.”

“So what happened to Okumura?”

“A… mistake. He didn’t die on our account,” Akira admitted. Briefly, he remembered the final look on Okumura’s face before he passed. “We think we were set up. None of us killed his shadow, and to cause mental shutdown, one must kill the shadow. We… aren’t responsible for Okumura’s death.”

“This ‘shadow,’” Sae put air quotes around the term “shadow.” “What you’re saying is that someone else would have had to kill his shadow. Is that correct?”

Akira nodded.

“Alright. Where were you during the time Okumura’s mental shutdown took place.”

“Destinyland. Noir got us in. I… I kissed Fox that night,” Akira admitted. He couldn’t help the dopey grin pulling at his face. “God, I love him so much. He’s so amazing, you know? I just hope I’m able to tell him just how much he means to me.”

Sae pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t need to hear that part, Kurusu, I just need to know about Okumura. All of you were at Destinyland?”

“Yep. We were watching the conference together when it happened.”

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_7:02 pm_

 

“Finally, we get to your most recent heist,” Sae removed something from her bag and slid it across the table. She signalled for Akira to take a look. “Explain.”

Deftly, Akira picked up the red index card on the table. Sae’s calling card… “You were corrupt. We had to do something.”

Sae crossed her arms. Her brows furrowed in annoyance. “Don’t mock me. I’m not a criminal. Or have you forgotten where you are right now?”

“You don’t have to be a criminal to be corrupt.” Akira tossed the calling card onto the table lazily. “One look at your heart told us everything we need to know. You were corrupt, and if we didn't do something, people would get hurt. It’s as simple as that.”

Even in his hazy state, Sae’s annoyance was clear. Her lilac painted nails dug harshly into the sleeve of her blazer. “Alright, fine. Enlighten me then. What inspired you to change my heart?”

“Well…”

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_7:44 pm_

 

“So, in order to steal my heart, you decided to wait until last minute? What reason lead you to do that?”

Akechi’s face flashed across Akira’s mind. Desperately, Akira racked his brain, trying to remember the exact reason Akechi had them hold off. It was likely for his own sake, but he had given them something. Whether it was a reason or an excuse, Akira wasn’t entirely sure. Knowing Akechi, it was absolutely an excuse. Unfortunately, he had no proof of that.

“In case you expected it,” Akira admitted. Somewhere, something told him that was the reasoning. “If you knew you were getting a calling card, the treasure wouldn’t materialize.”

Sae made a noise like a deep growl, but signalled for him to keep speaking. “Elaborate on that statement.”

Akira rested his face against his hand lazily. His head throbbed. “You might have expected a calling card, and then the treasure wouldn’t have materialized. You would have seen it coming and we would have nothing to steal.”

Sae considered this. “That’s… rather clever, actually.” She waved her hand, signalling him to keep talking.

“Yeah. We had to wait until near the deadline to send the calling card. We finished securing the route actually… few weeks before we sent out the calling card.” Akira was vaguely aware of his slowly slurring words. If he was unaware of his situation, he would have thought he was drunk.

Sae’s eyebrows knit together, but she made no move to interrupt him. Her venomous crimson eyes stared expectantly. He had to remember… What happened. What was he supposed to do.

Finish the story, apparently. Just finish the story, and try to get through it all.

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_8:18 pm_

 

Akira explained everything the Phantom Thieves had done, to the best of his knowledge. He had spilled how they discovered the castle, the moment he, Panther, Skull and Mona had decided to remain Phantom Thieves, how one by one all his team members slowly joined, their targets, the palaces, Mementos, the Metaverse, everything he could possibly say. Did Sae think he was mental? It was likely. If she did, then that was her problem. He had told her everything he could say that would not completely throw his teammates under the bus.

Sae rubbed awkwardly at her forearm. “...I see. That’s what lead to your ending up here. What a disappointing end to the ‘hero of justice.’” She rubbed her temple and shook her head once more, as if the mere thought gave her a headache. “I still can’t believe it, but I now have a general idea for the method you used for your crimes. There’s much more I would like to ask but,” She checked the watch on her wrist. “...My allotted time is almost up. I do have a suggestion, though.”

Akira hardly batted an eyelash. “I’m listening.” He stated.

She leaned forward, and talked in a hushed tone, as if afraid someone would hear her. “Care to strike a deal?”

...There they were. Those magic words that had never once failed to catch his attention. He folded his hands neatly in front of him, attempting to restrain himself from immediately reaching forward. A deal with Sae Niijima… Not bad. It all depended on her terms.

“If you cooperate with me, I’ll consider lightening your sentence.” Her words were teasing, yet razor sharp. One wrong move, and it would be game over. Let’s hope being arrested hadn’t made him rusty. He knew this game well, but by the looks of it, so did she.

“I’m listening… What are you looking for in return?” That playful, Joker-esque tone crept into his voice. Even when the shit had been beaten out of him, and he could hardly remember his left from his right, he was still a cocky bastard.

“I have a responsibility to solve this case. I _will_ win, even if it means brokering a deal with you.” A passionate madness resinated from within. It seemed they truly did fail to change her heart… It wasn’t about winning, but apparently she still didn’t understand that part. “Your operation was leaked and you failed to change my heart. There’s no point in being obstinate now. You’ve corrupted the order of this country and caused an uprising against its very existence. You’ll most likely be given life in prison or even the death penalty. That is, unless you accept my proposal.” She lifted up the Phantom Thief file that had been sitting on the table since she first stepped foot into the room and flipped through it. “Going forward, I will read a list of people who are closest to you and this case. Tell me honestly whether the following are involved with the Phantom Thieves.”

Simple enough. Well, unless…

“First, Ryuji Sakamoto. The friend you’ve had since day one at Shujin.” She looked up expectantly. “Tell me about his involvement in the case.”

Ryuji Sakamoto -- _Skull._ Easily Akira’s best friend. Akira had never quite understood what it meant to have real friends until Ryuji came along. He was loud and aggressive, and sometimes even a bit perverted, but at the end of the day, those were all traits that made him endearing. He cared for his friends and family, and would remain loyal until given a reason otherwise. Even then, he still cared. Ryuji was selfless, and said things like they were. He was completely honest with himself, too; he knew exactly who he was and didn’t care what anyone else had to say about it. That was probably the reason Akira liked him so much.

“No. Ryuji isn’t involved.” Akira lied.

Sae shot him a skeptical look. “You’re sure about that? He did not know anything about the Phantom Thieves or your involvement with them?”

“Nope.”

Sae paused momentarily. The both of them knew he was lying through his teeth, but she continued with the list. “Very well. Next, one of the victim’s from the Kamoshida case. Ann Takamaki.”

Ann Takamaki -- _Panther._ Ann was insane. Without a doubt, right next to Ryuji, she was who Akira was closest to. Yeah, she got annoyed with him easily. He was pretty annoying sometimes, and she was not scared to tell him off for it. She had the purest heart, and the best intentions. She was also aggressive, but that was because she was a fighter. Ann was her own person and was never going to let anyone change that about her. Not again. Everything she did had been for Shiho. Afterwards, it was only a matter of helping those who were going through similar struggles. That was part of the reason she had been so determined during the incidents with Madarame, Medjed and Okumura.

Akira shook his head once more. “No. Ann was never involved.”

“You’re serious?” Sae questioned. Judging by her icy stare, she didn’t believe it for a second. Neither did Akira. That wasn’t going to stop him from lying straight to her face.

“Absolutely serious. Ann was not involved at any point.”

Sae huffed. She returned her attention to the list. “Yusuke Kitagawa, Ichiryusai Madarame’s former pupil.”

“No.”

Before she could fully finish her sentence, Akira was already uttering the words.

Yusuke Kitagawa -- _Fox._ Akira had never met anyone quite like Yusuke, and he didn’t think he ever would meet anyone like him. Yusuke was blunt, yet creative. Sure, sometimes he was overbearing and completely stubborn, but it was just part of who he was. He was straight forward, and said it like it was. During the fireworks festival, he had directly told those girls to fuck off. Maybe he had been a little more mature and polite about it, but he had completely shown his lack of interest. Akira wasn’t sure what about Yusuke had caught his attention in the first place, but somehow he had. And somehow, Akira was certain he was head over heels for him.

Sae narrowed her eyes, but continued down the list. “Futaba Sakura, the daughter of Wakaba Isshiki.”

Futaba Sakura -- _Oracle._ Somehow, even Futaba’s name had come up. Futaba, who had practically been non existent before she joined the Phantom Thieves. Akira couldn’t help but wonder just how they managed to dig up her name. Futaba had come a long way since he had first met her, during the beginning of summer vacation. Sometime during late July, early August, he suspected. Back then, the idea of having to leave her room had reduced her to a nervous, stuttering mess. She could hardly utter a coherent sentence when they had first spoken. She had also been the one to explain cognitive psience to them. Futaba was a gremlin sometimes, but without her, the team never would have come nearly as far as it did. Without her, Akira would likely have been dead where he stood, that was if they were even able to make it to Sae’s palace.

“Not involved.” Akira stated.

Sae’s patience was wearing thin. “Perhaps you’re not aware of your current situation. If you do not cooperate with me, your entire life will be _ruined._ They will keep you locked up for the rest of your life, which given the way things are going, that life may soon be cut short with a death sentence. If any of the people I have mentioned were somehow involved with the Phantom Thieves, I need to _know.”_  She snarled.

Akira blinked. “They’re not involved.”

Sae’s eye twitched, but she continued down the list. “Haru Okumura, the heiress to the Okumura Foods legacy, and daughter of CEO Kunikazu Okumura.”

Haru Okumura -- _Noir._ Haru had been part of them for the least amount of time, but she may have caught on the quickest. Sure, there were still parts of the Metaverse and personas that she didn’t understand (not that Akira could blame her, it was a rather difficult concept to grasp), but that didn’t stop her from kicking ass. She was brutal. Haru never once hesitated in battle, and was always there for support in the event anyone needed it. She was sloppy with her attacks sometimes, but that was fine. Her psio might have hit the wrong enemy, or she completely missed while swinging her ax, but that never stopped her. Haru was probably the most terrifying, right next to Makoto.

“Nope. Not her, either.”

“You cannot be serious.”

“I’m dead serious.” The lies came to him, almost second nature.

“You are aware that her father was killed during one of your ‘incidents.’ It is extremely difficult to believe that she is not involved in the slightest.” Sae sniped.

Akira made a noise like a “tch” sound. “Believe what you will.” Not like she had any way to prove he was lying.

Sae spared one more glance at the list. “And… lastly, Makoto Niijima,” Her words hung heavy. “...The frequently probing student council president at Shujin.”

Makoto Niijima -- _Queen._ Makoto was absolutely ruthless. During her awakening alone, she had stomped through the floor and summoned the most badass persona Akira had ever laid his eyes on. She was cold and unforgiving of those who got in their way in the Metaverse, but she was also caring and motherly towards her team. Akira had overheard Ann mention that it seemed like he and Joker were two different people. The same could be said about Queen and Makoto. Makoto was studious and cautious. She wanted to know more about those around her and her surroundings, and was more than willing to seek out someone to teach her, while she also tried to help her fellow teammates with their homework when needed. A few times, Akira had caught her trying to explain different math concepts to Yusuke. Queen, however, was honestly terrifying. The spikes, the brass knuckles, the motorcycle, the _explosions._ She was one of the scariest people Akira had ever met. He’d be lying if he said that Queen’s fiery death glare didn’t send shivers down his spine.

“She’s not involved, either. None of the people mentioned were involved.”

Sae pondered this a moment. “So you won’t sell out your friends. Very well, let me change the question. I find it hard to believe high schoolers could have pulled off these crimes all by themselves. Were there not others outside of your direct group who encouraged your crimes or lent their aid?”

Mishima. Hifumi. Shinya. Iwai. Takemi. Sojiro. Kawakami. Chihaya. Ohya. Yoshida.

There were several outside of the Phantom Thieves who had assisted, some knowingly and some completely unaware they were helping. Akira wouldn’t sell any of them out, either. They were all part of his life, and had all assisted in some way, shape or form.

Sae leaned back in her chair. “Not to repeat myself, but remember your life will be forfeit if your sentence is not lightened. You had the cooperation of people outside your group, did you not? Can you tell me about them?”

“There were no such people.” Akira said.

The fire within Sae’s eyes burned brighter. “...I see. You won’t speak a word about your friends or your collaborators. Do you even understand the position you are in?” Her words grew more powerful with each passing second. “Okay, fine. Let’s discuss one other person. Goro Akechi.”

Akira made a noise, like air being let out of a balloon. _Fuck Akechi…_ He thought bitterly. Akechi had worked with them, or so Akira thought. At this point he wasn’t entirely sure he could trust his memory. Something like a razor blade slashed at his heart, toying with all his emotions. The bittersweet betrayal of it all… Just what was Akechi’s motive? There had to be something more to the story. Something aside from his firm belief that the Phantom Thieves were killers.

“There are reports that he acted alongside the Phantom Thieves as well,” Sae started. Somehow, she kept direct eye contact with him the entire time she spoke. Her lavender fingernails tapped against her forearm in annoyance. “Might he be a part of your team, too?”

“Nope. Not Akechi…” That one was not a lie on Akira’s part. Akechi may have acted alongside them, but he wasn’t part of the team. He was never part of the team. Maybe in a different timeline, he could have been. He had potential. He had a lot of potential, and between his carefully calculated movement and plans, he would have been an incredible asset to the team. Maybe if things had been different, Akechi could have been one of them.

“Goro Akechi wasn’t one of you… Very well, then. So be it. You clearly have no intention of bargaining with me.”

At that point, Akira was sitting on the edge of his seat. He pressed one arm against the desk, and rested his cheek against his hand. “Alright, Niijima-san, let me ask you a question. You’ve been in this room with me long enough to understand my intentions, yeah? So what makes you think I would ever put my teammates in danger?”

She raised a dangerous eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. All of this, and you really think I’m going to sell them out? After all, I’m here right now so that they are safe.” Akira’s words cut through, like a freshly sharpened knife. “They’re more than just a team to me. They are my family. So what if I get life in prison? I’d rather that then live knowing that I purposely put my family in harm’s way. It makes no difference to me whether you shorten my sentence or not. I’m not going to tell you who my team is, or who assisted us. I’m here right now so they don’t have to be. I’d die before ever selling them out like that.”

“Even now, you’re still acting as if you are the hero of justice?” Sae wrinkled her nose in annoyance. “Your teammates have sacrificed you in order to escape, and yet you still wish to defend their honor? Why won’t you talk about them?”

“I won’t talk about them because it goes against justice.” Akira’s gaze hardened. “Regardless of what you or the rest of the police force seem to think, the Phantom Thieves try to do what’s right. We are on the side of justice. If I were to reveal to you their secret identities that would completely go against everything we have been trying to do. We protect people, Niijima-san. Don’t you see that?”

Sae stood abruptly and slammed her hands against the table. Her patience had finally worn thin, it seemed. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not the one to decide such things!”

“Aren’t we, though? After all, we only target those who are corrupt.” Akira resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “You seem to think that _this,_ whatever this is,  is ‘justice.’” With the hand not supporting his head, he vaguely gestured to his face. More specifically, the bruises and visible evidence of abuse.

“Justice…?” It came out as a throaty growl. Sae slammed another hand down. “Then tell me. What exactly is this ‘justice’ that you speak of?!”

Akira actually did roll his eyes this time. “Saving others. Sticking up for those in need. During our heists, we only targeted those that we did because they were hurting innocent people. They were corrupt, and someone needed to be saved. What we do is save people.”

Sae sat back down. “Saving others? What an awfully simple response.” She spat. She brushed her bangs out of her face. “You continue to stand by that firm. Are you implying that we have no evidence on you? You’re right. We have nothing. And it doesn’t help that your story sounds like a fairy tale.” She barked. “But many people have fallen victim to this. We have to learn the truth.”

Akira kicked at one of the legs of the table. “I have told you nothing but the truth. Whether you choose to believe it or not, that’s on you.”

Sae exhaled, frustrated. “The truth, huh… I don’t even know what’s right anymore. It’s all due to your strange story.” Her voice shook.

Akira tapped his fingers against the wooden surface. One question hung heavy in the back of his mind. Something was very off. He had a job, yeah? That was the whole reason he had gone along with whatever suicide mission the Phantom Thieves had planned out. He had to convince Sae of something… but what? His mind was still foggy. Parts of it had cleared as he had retold his story but… He was still missing something important. What was the big picture?

“What about the true culprit?” Akira asked. His voice was merely a whisper.

Sae looked up, semi-permanent scowl painted across her face. “After all this, you’re still--”

Whatever she had said next didn’t register with Akira. His head throbbed. He pressed his hand to his face and squeezed his eyes shut.

Their mission… It was so simple. His team was depending on him for something. But what? It was so close but so far out of his reach. What did he need to do?

“...Are you listening?” For once, Sae’s cold, robotic tone was laced with something similar to that of concern. “The side effects of the truth serum are wearing off. I won’t be deceived by such a poor act.”

 _‘I won’t be deceived…’_ Akira thought. There was something he was forgetting. Something major. What was it? Briefly he recalled the conversation he and Morgana had, back in the PE faculty lounge. Something about… pancakes?

Right… pancakes. TV station. Akechi.

Sae snapped her fingers in front of Akira’s face. “Can you hear me? It seems your mind is beginning to clear up.” She looked at her watch. “Unfortunately, my time has run out. Although I find your story quite interesting, I won’t be able to speak with you any longer.

Akechi. Metaverse. Blackmail. Phone.

Wait…

“Don’t you want to win?” Akira stated. Strands of greasy, black curls hung low in front of his face. God, he needed a shower…

“Huh? What are you getting at?” Sae widened her eyes. She briefly acknowledged the question for a moment. “No matter the results of this case, I won’t be receiving any credit. I even had to call in a large favor just to conduct this investigation.”

Interrogation. Interrogation room. Akechi. Akechi. Metaverse. Pancakes. Morgana. Phone.

Blackmail. Akechi. Interrogation room. Underground. Phone.

Phone.

“Hey, are you listening?” Sae waved her hand in front of him. “Our time is up. We’re done talking here. Goodbye.” She began placing files back in her purse.

Akira bolted upright, ignoring the way his bones and muscles protested to the sudden movement. “Wait. Niijima. Why did you come here?” Everything made sense. He needed her. She had to help them. He had a job, and that job involved her.

Sae. Akechi. Underground room. Interrogation. Phone. Metaverse. Cognition. Suicide.

That was the order of events that were supposed to happen.

Phone. Akechi.

_Phone._

“Why…? Because this is my job. Don’t ask me such odd questions.” She brushed Akira off, like an annoying fly or a flea.

“There is one last thing I would like to ask you,” Sae started. _Bingo._ “There’s something that’s been bothering me for a while now. Recently I was removed from my post as the head of this investigation, and was told to remain on ‘standby.’ A short while later, I received word that you were caught in the act, within some bizarre phenomenon, but that’s all I was told. _You_ were told that someone sold you out, correct? If that’s true, then do you have any idea who it could have been.”

Sold out. Interrogation room. Metaverse. Cognition. Betrayal. Blackmail. Murder. Suicide.

Akira knew exactly what he needed to do.

“Yeah.” Luck, it seemed, was in Akira’s favor for once. He had to give Akechi his smartphone without arousing suspicion. Hmm… “I want to make a deal with you.”

Those words. Those special words. Akira would be lying if he said he was unable to give in to the temptation.

Sae straightened her spine, before leaning as far forward. “Yes. Very well. Go on.” She spoke in a hushed tone, but quickly and excitedly, as if this was the breakthrough she was looking for. It was the breakthrough they were both looking for, he thought. She slammed her fist against the table once more. “If there is something you know, you _must_ tell me. I will not allow things to end like this.”

“The phone…” He nodded towards his phone, sat against the end of the table.

Sae stared at it inquisitively. “You mean this phone? It’s yours, isn’t it? I’ve been told the lock on it is quite complicated, but it’s only a matter of time until we figure it out. What’s so important about this smartphone?”

 _Shit._ Akira could _not_ allow that to happen. He was very aware of the amount of incriminating text conversations. If they somehow broke into his phone, not only would they know how they acted as Phantom Thieves, but who everyone involved was. Also, whatever bullshit the team had said in the past that really had nothing to do with Phantom Thief work, but was still embarrassing to think about. Akira would rather die than let anyone outside the team see the constant “Africa Kangaroo” jokes that were made, or any of the weird porn Futaba sent.

“Show it to the true culprit.” Akira said.

“The true culprit?”

Akira remembered the audio recording he had heard. Sae had to act fast. If she didn’t, Akechi would put a bullet through Akira’s head and say it was suicide. Dammit…

“I _need_ you to be clear with me. Who am I supposed to show this to?!” Sae was practically begging.

“N...not a teammate.” Akira settled on. Akechi wasn’t a teammate. Sae should have been able to figure that much out.

“Not a teammate?” Sae repeated. She was beginning to sound like a broken record. And then… “My God… You’re referring to him, aren’t you?”

“I need you to trust me.”

Sae sighed once more. “What are you plotting? I can’t even begin to fathom it.” Someone from the outside banged on the door. “...It appears my time is up. This is as far as our conversation can go. Very well. I’ve listened to your whole story, so I might as well play along to the very end. I’ll place my bet on you. I just need to show him the phone, right?”

Akira nodded.

Sae, it seemed, was finally on his side.

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_8:49 pm_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **FS:** yo question for you

 **YK:** What is it?

 **FS:** [ yeet.jpg ](https://www.tate.org.uk/art/images/work/T/T03/T03257_9.jpg)

**FS:** you recognize this?

 **FS:** seems like something thatd be right up your alley :\

 **YK:** Yes. That is “Lobster Telephone,” created by Salvador Dali and Edward James, both of who were surrealists during the surrealist movement in the 1920s.

 **YK:** It is supposed to represent food and sex. Given that it’s of the surrealist genre, it’s understandable that not everyone would be able to grasp such a mundane message as that.

 **FS:** ok 1

 **FS:** i didnt ask for a lecture

 **FS:** i just asked if you knew of it

 **FS:** a simple yes would have been fine

 **FS:** 2

 **FS:** sex and food

 **FS:** are you serious >:\

 **YK:** How is your typing somehow worse than usual?

 **FS:** i type like this when im stressed fuck you

 **YK:** Also, yes, I am dead serious. Sigmund Freud, a psychoanalyst, stated that the brain consisted of two parts: the conscious mind, and the unconscious mind. The unconscious mind controlled aspects such as urges and memories. Some surrealists took that to mean sexual desires, which isn’t exactly wrong, however it is not the only aspect controlled by the unconscious mind.

 **YK:** During this movement, a lot of surrealists artists took themes such as that and turned them into rather bizarre paintings. Not everyone understood the art from this movement. Sex and other desires of the sort were common themes for surrealists.

 **FS:** inari stop

 **FS:** this isnt a college course

 **FS:** follow up question tho

 **YK:** Yes?

 **FS:** does that mean lobster phone is about

 **FS:** feederism?

 **YK:**...No.

 **FS:** wow im surprised you know what that is

 **YK:** I know of the acts, even if I don’t always know the term. I’m not as innocent as everyone seems to think.

 **FS:** wait does this mean youre into feederism

 **YK:** _No._

 **FS:** wow cant believe it

 **FS:** thats really weird inari

 **YK:** _I am not ‘into’ feederism._

 **FS:** im not kinkshaming but

 **FS:** thats so weird

 **YK:** Stop.

 **FS:** >:3

 **YK:** You really are a gremlin sometimes aren’t you.

 **FS:** _ >:3 _

**FS:** no but for real

 **FS:** you good

 **FS:** i found the painting and thought i should like

 **FS:** text you

 **FS:** to make sure youre not working yourself to death or anything

 **FS:** you know. self care.

 **FS:** eating showering sleeping

 **FS:** drinking water that is not paint water

 **YK:** I’m fine, Futaba. I appreciate you coming to check in on me.

 **YK:** To be completely honest, I haven’t been able to paint anything worthwhile lately. My mind has been focused on other things, I suppose.

 **FS:** youre thinking about akira arent you

 **YK:** Maybe…

 **FS:** :\

 **FS:** you aint slick inari

 **FS:** but i get it

 **YK:** You have been listening into it, correct? Is it going okay?

 **FS:** everything seems like its been going smoothly

 **FS:** well not smoothly but

 **FS:** its working

 **FS:** he got sae to listen to him

 **FS:** he also talked about you a lot during interrogation

 **FS:** referred to only as fox tho

 **YK:** What did he say?

 **FS:** he mentioned that you guys kissed at destinyland

 **FS:** lmao i fucking called it ryuji owes me 1000 yen i told him you guys were probably making out in a corner or smth

 **YK:** You were taking bets on us?

 **FS:** shh

 **FS:** sae told him to stfu and talk about okumura

 **FS:** mostly just a ton of gay shit like that and then having sae yell at him

 **FS:** they dont know who the rest of us are

 **YK:** Akira is alive?

 **FS:** hes alive

 **YK:** Oh thank God.

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_8:50 pm_

 

**Talk Shit Get Hit**

 

 **Oracle:** just an update

 **Oracle:** as far as i know akira is alive

 **Oracle:** he got sae to listen to him

 **Oracle:** sae has his phone now

 **Oracle:** i dont know how hes doing and wont be able to check on him though

 **Oracle:** sae ran into akechi so as long as she shows him the phone i can do my part

 **Oracle:** im listening in right now

 **Oracle:** im even recording it just in case

 **Queen:** Oh thank goodness.

 **Panther:** way to go futaba

 **Skull:** dudes still alive?

 **Oracle:** last i heard he is

 **Oracle:** were just depending on sae now

 **Oracle:** ill keep all of you updated i promise

 **Noir:** Is akira-kun okay?

 **Oracle:** mostly

 **Fox:** What do you mean “mostly” okay?

 **Oracle:** hes alive

 **Oracle:** i didnt get to hear anything pre interrogation but he sounded like he was in pain

 **Oracle:** pretty groggy too

 **Oracle:** but hes alive and functioning and right now thats all that matters

 **Oracle:** i really have to go i need to pay attention to this part

 **Noir:** Oh dear…

 **Queen:** We’ll just have to rely on Futaba for this next part. She knows what she’s doing.

 **Skull:** queens right. all we can do is wait for more info from futaba or the news

 **Panther:** if anyone can pull this off it’s them. akira and futaba are dangerous sometimes.

 **Noir:** They have put a lot of thought into this plan. We’ve done all we can, the rest is up to them.

 **Skull:** the wait is always the worst part

 **Panther:** it really is, but it’s the only thing we can do. just hang in there guys, we got this.

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_8:54 pm_

 

**Ann Takamaki → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AT:** hey

 **YK:** Hey.

 **AT:** listen i know you’re probably really stressed out right now, but just know we’re here for you, okay

 **AT:** it’s okay to feel things you know, even if you don’t understand what you’re feeling

 **YK:** Thank you, Ann. All we can really do right now is wait and hope for the best.

 **AT:** you doing alright?

 **YK:** I don’t know. I think I’ll be okay.

 **AT:** do you want to talk about it?

 **YK:** No.

 **AT:** that’s fine. we’re here if you need us, okay?

 **YK:** Thanks.

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_8:52  pm_

 

Of course Sae Niijima had squeezed an interrogation out of Akira Kurusu.

 _Foolish woman,_ Akechi thought to himself. After all her efforts, in the end they would be entirely useless.

Sae stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw him, her eyes widening in surprise. “Akechi-kun? Why are you here?”

He forced another sickly sweet smile on his face. That smile had the entire country fooled, it seemed. “Why do you seem so surprised?”

She clutched the strap of her purse. “I needed my director to step in to get access, and I’m directly responsible for this case. How did you get approval?”

“I’m merely here to assist with the public security interrogation,” He lied. Some people, it seemed, were too gullible. “I am surprised it’s this far underground though. There aren’t any others incarcerated here, correct?”

Sae nodded. “As far as I know, that’s correct.”

Interesting. That just made things much easier.

“Nobody would ever know if things got a little violent.” Akechi hinted. Not like she would understand what he was referring to, anyway.

Sae brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. “If I remember correctly, didn’t you say there was another culprit besides the Phantom Thieves?”

Yeah. The other culprit was him. Not that she needed to know that. Instead, he chuckled softly. “That was but a lie I spread to set them up. I’m sorry, I forgot I deceived you too, Sae-san. To trick your enemies, you must first trick your allies.”

‘Allies.’ Such a strange term. It seemed like Akechi had the entire police department tricked. No one knew his true nature. It was all a carefully crafted disguise. Tokyo was apparently composed of nothing but idiots who didn’t know how to see past the curtain. Once again, that just made his job easier.

Sae’s face fell. “...So it was you. You were the one who sold out the Phantom Thieves.”

He raised an eyebrow. Why did she care? Whatever. “Is there a problem?”

She made a face, and fished something out of her pocket. “Akechi-kun, does this phone look familiar to you?”

Sae held out a smartphone. Basic, blank screen, silver case with a texture resembling that of a metal floor. It was… just a smartphone. What was she getting at?

“Hm? Excuse me?” He asked, quizzically. What did that phone have to do with anything? His head throbbed. He just wanted to get this over with… The sooner Kurusu was dead, the better. Then he could move on with the next stage of his plan. “What is this phone?”

“It belonged to the leader of the Phantom Thieves. I believe you’ll need it for your investigation.” Sae answered.

Akechi resisted the urge to roll his eyes. What childish game was she playing? He didn’t have time for it. She needed to get out of his way. What good would Kurusu’s phone do, anyhow? It was entirely useless to him.

He forced another fake, but friendly smile onto his face. “Not personally. I was acting alongside the Phantom Thieves myself, remember?”

She set her hand down. “True. This is undoubtedly a great accomplishment. Good luck in there.”

Nothing less of the Detective Prince, Akechi thought. With that, Sae began walking off down the opposite side of the corridor.

Akechi resisted the urge to laugh. The bitch really had no idea, did she. What a fool. He had seen what she truly thought of him. If only she knew…

He continued on his way. The door was at the very end of the hall. A guard stood directly in front of it.

_Perfect._

All according to plan.

Akechi approached the guard. “May I ask that you accompany me? Going in unarmed to interrogate a murderer makes me uncomfortable.” Another lie. At this point, it was hard to distinguish his lies from the truth. He had been at it so long. He wasn’t sure he even knew what the truth looked like anymore.

The guard nodded. He opened the door for Akechi, and they stepped inside. The guard shut the door behind himself.

As expected, Kurusu sat at one side of the table. He craned his head up, almost like a marionette being controlled by a puppet master. His once lively gray eyes were broken, lifeless. It was hard to believe that the boy in front of him was once leader of the Phantom Thieves.

The guard walked in front of Akechi and positioned himself opposite of Kurusu. Akechi seized his opportunity, and forcefully stole the gun from the guard’s hand.

He jumped. “Huh?! What are you--”

Before he could finish the sentence, Akechi aimed the gun and fired. The guard’s body crumpled to the ground. One down, one more to go.

Kurusu gasped.

“I owe you for this. Thanks.” Akechi said. Any kindness he had once held in his voice was gone. He spoke coldly, almost robotic. It really reflected Akechi’s current mental state. He couldn’t wait until it was finally Shido’s turn. He wondered if Shido would go down as easy, or if he would put up a fight. Either way, one way or another, he would wind up dead, just as all of those who had opposed him had. Akechi was sick and tired of acting as Shido’s guard dog. “That’s right, you and your little friends were vital to our plan. Now, it will be completed. Your popularity truly was quite stunning.”

Kurusu didn’t move. Akechi turned his aim from the broken guard, to Kurusu himself. “That just made using you all the more worthwhile.” Smoke from the first bullet poured out the barrel of the gun. At least two more bullets sat in the revolver, just waiting to be fired.

Akechi tugged lightly at one of his leather gloves. “Have you finally pieced it all together?” His mouth curled into a cruel sneer. Goodbye, Kurusu. “This is how your justice ends.”

He pulled the trigger.

The bullet embedded itself in Kurusu’s forehead, right between his eyes. Blood poured from the wound. Like a ragdoll, Kurusu flopped against the tabletop.

Blood splattered everywhere. No matter how hard Akechi tried to forget, something told him he would be seeing that face in his nightmares for the rest of his life. Dead, broken, betrayal. The final look of porcelain fear, before the life drained from his glossy eyes.

This was how it ended. In an underground interrogation room, the Phantom Thief Leader dead, while the Detective Prince Goro Akechi got all the credit for the case. As far as the public knew, it was all a suicide.

Akechi placed the gun in Kurusu’s hand.

Case closed.

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_8:56 pm_

 

How did her life come to this.

Sae mentally asked herself that question as she walked down the hallway of the underground prison. At the request of Akira Kurusu, or the leader of the Phantom Thieves, she had shown Akechi his phone. She wasn’t entirely sure she showed the correct person his phone, nor did she know what it would do. She had come so far, and yet the Phantom Thieves story still made almost no sense. Akechi had been acting alongside the Phantom Thieves, as a double agent. He was the one who sold them out. He was “not a teammate.”

Kurusu had said to show the phone to the true culprit. He had said the true culprit was not a teammate.

Sae’s head hurt just thinking about it. She was so close, and yet so far away… She had all the pieces, but how was she to make them fit?

The phone in her back pocket chirped. Was that Kurusu’s phone?

Hurriedly, she removed it and peered at the screen. “What was all that about showing him this phone?” She wondered out loud.

A few different messages appeared on screen:

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_8:56 pm_

 

**Anonymous → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **Anon:** hey

 **Anon:** sae niijima

 **Anon:** this is the phantom thief alibaba

 **Anon:** i know you are seeing this right now

 **Anon:** listen to these audio recordings to receive instructions

 **Anon:** we are counting on you

 **Anon:** sae-niijima.mp4 

**Anon:** goro-akechi.mp4 

**Anon:** listen.mp4 

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_8:57 pm_

 

Sae pressed on the audio recording and allowed it to play. Did she do something right?

Instantly, a distorted voice began talking through the speakers.

_“I am Alibaba, a member of the Phantom Thieves. I inquire as to your justice, Sae Niijima. Goro Akechi is evil. He didn’t come to interrogate the captured Phantom Thief, he came to kill him. Listen to the audio file titled ‘Goro Akechi’ and you will understand.”_

The recording ended. “How do they know I have this?” Sae muttered. If this ‘Alibaba’ was listening, maybe they would provide the answer she was looking for. Kurusu had mentioned nothing of a Phantom Thief named Alibaba.

She pressed on the second link, and another audio recording began to play. This one was of Akechi’s voice.

_“We could say he stole the guard’s gun and committed suicide during imprisonment. How about that? … Yes, the guard will be one of ours. We’ll have to eliminate him afterwards to destroy the evidence, though.”_

Sae let out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. Was that… really what Akechi had been planning all along?

The phone went off again. This time, an audio clip titled “listen.mp4” appeared. Sae allowed it to play. Alibaba’s distorted voice spoke once again.

_“Don’t trust the guard, either. He’s an accomplice as well. Now then, I’ll tell you the detailed steps to take. You must save Akira Kurusu.”_

“You want me to save him?” Sae asked. Alibaba was without a doubt listening in.

She began walking back towards the interrogation room. What was happening? How did she managed to get wrapped up in this?

A wave of exhaustion brushed over her. She pressed one hand to her forehead, but kept walking.

The guard was, as to be expected, right in front of the door. The same guard she had seen moments prior.

He jumped.

“What is it?” Sae asked.

The guard stuttered. “Um, n-nothing. What brings you here? I thought you were done your business.”

That was suspicious…

“Did anyone else stop by?” The guard didn’t answer. “Nobody?”

He shook his head. “T-there’d be no reason for anyone else to come down here.”

Alibaba was right. This guy was clearly suspicious.

“Is something the matter?” He asked.

Sae sighed. “It’s Akechi-kun. He had to take a sudden call so he won’t be able to make it today. I’ve been asked to handle things instead.” She adjusted the strap on her purse before adding “If you stay here, they’ll likely eliminate you, too, to get rid of any evidence. I suggest you go into hiding at once if you value your own life. Don’t say a word of what transpired here. Trust nobody. Forget this ever happened.”

The guard nodded and took off.

 _That was easy._ Sae thought. She jerked open the door, prepared to do whatever it took to save Akira.

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_9:10 pm_

 

All anyone was talking about was the Phantom Thief leader, and how he got caught.

No matter how hard Yusuke tried to forget, it was the only thing he had heard about the entire day thus far. In the hallways at school, the classrooms, the dormitories, Shibuya… Even the teachers were talking about it.

Several times he had noticed students with their phones under their desks, the news playing across the screen. He had had to suppress the urge to do the same, just for vastly different reasons.

All day he had been on edge. None of his sketches looked even remotely decent. He was never one to give up on any of his pieces but he was tempted to give up. Nothing looked right. All he could think about was Akira…

How was Akira doing? Futaba had said he was alive but she had also said he was “mostly” alright. What exactly did “mostly” mean?

“I can’t believe they finally caught that guy.” A first year stood with her friend in the common area. In between the two of them, one held out her phone.

Her friend nodded. “I wonder if they’ll tell us his identity.”

Yusuke’s own phone was out, his attention on screen.

_“...The young man continues to remain silent, refusing to implicate any potential accomplices, however…”_

Yusuke picked at the edges of his phone case. _Shit…_ All this time, and Akira hadn’t said one word about the others. They had left him, allowed him to be arrested, but he still refused to give away any information on them. That was loyalty… Yusuke wondered if he would do the same if he were in the same situation.

Nothing about death. At least, not yet. If Akira were to be found dead, something told him the media would almost immediately pick up on it.

Futaba had yet to send anymore updates. She was doing the best she could but… The anticipation was killing him. Yusuke was sure his heart would burst through his chest at any given moment. How long until they finally received word of what happened…

“...I wonder if something happened?”

Yusuke looked up and somehow made eye contact with one of the first years. She offered him a friendly, weary smile.

Was the pain he was experiencing that obvious…?

_“...He’s just a highschool student. How do you think he was contacting the others?”_

_“The police here can search any online communications. His accomplices may slip up eventually.”_

Eventually, huh? Maybe one day. It was almost as if the news broadcasters didn’t realize that the Phantom Thief members may actually have been listening in. If they had covered up their tracks thus far, they could keep them hidden. So long as Akira kept his word.

The screen cut back to the newscaster. _“We have breaking news.”_

Yusuke held his breath.

_“The young man being held in custody has committed suicide. The police have confirmed his death.”_

_No._

_No no no no no._

It couldn’t end there, could it?

Yusuke harshly bit down on his lip. That wasn’t the end, right? Futaba had said everything had been going according to plan. There was more to it. Akira wasn’t dead.

He had to think rationally about it. Of course they thought Akira was dead, the plan involved faking his death. Still, that didn’t make it any less anxiety inducing.

Whether Akira was actually dead or not was unknown. Futaba had reported in and said that the plan was working, but that was before Akechi. She had done her part, and promised she would instruct Sae Niijima, as they had anticipated. Dammit…

Yusuke fled the room. He had to be by himself for a moment. His breaths grew more shallow with each passing moment, his throat constricting. His phone shook in his hand, along with the rest of his body. Yusuke leaned against the hallway wall. The group chat was going insane… Without responding, he watched the steady stream of messages flow in.

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_9:19 pm_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 _~_ **_Queen_ ** _has removed_ **_Crow_ ** _from the chat~_

 **Panther:** did you guys hear?

 **Skull:** i heard

 **Queen:** Yes…

 **Noir:** Yes.

 **Panther:** do you think he’s…

 **Queen:** We can’t be sure of that just yet. Futaba hasn’t said anything to us about it yet.

 **Skull:** ur shitting me…

 **Panther:** futaba how’s it looking right now?

 **Oracle:** cant talk

 **Oracle:** busy

 **Oracle:** hang on

 **Panther:** how are all of you holding up?

 **Skull:** its so unreal

 **Noir:** Akira-kun will be okay, right? Futaba-chan said that the plan was working.

 **Queen:** That’s what we’re waiting for. It’s so nerve wracking…

 **Panther:** we just have to hang in there a bit longer. we’ll find out everything we need in a moment.

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_9:21 pm_

 

At that moment, another notification went off. The other group…? The one they had used to discuss the plan? Why were they using that chat?

Yusuke opened the chat log and nearly dropped his phone.

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_9:22 pm_

 

**Talk Shit Get Hit**

 

 **Joker:** fuck-you.img 

**Joker:** I lived bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is late this week, took a lot of time to write it. It is the longest chapter yet at 22 pages, and is by far the most wordy chapter. Hopefully this is as wordy as it gets, mainly for my own sake. Editing was a bitch (I still have to edit let's be real here but it looks good enough to post) and the struggle to stay motivated was real, but you guys were waiting and I didn't want to keep you waiting for too long.  
> OH OKAY IMPORTANT SO THE "I LIVED BITCH" THING AT THE END. Firstly, I remember seeing an edit with Akira/Joker photoshopped onto the original meme so there's that, unfortunately the meme has been made, remade and reposted countless of times so I don't know who explicitly to give credit to. SECONDLY I know in mellofricker's fic "2 phantom thieves on the moon" they made that exact same joke, which is why I wasn't sure whether to include it. The dp5gc discord server told me to do it, as it's a popular meme and they aren't the only one to ever make that joke but I still feel bad so yeah credit goes to mellofricker as well, I don't want it to seem like I'm ripping them off because I'm really not.  
> Yeah that's about it. This chapter has taken me the longest to write.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818


	44. akira you ignorant slut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skull: fite him behind dennys or smth  
> Skull: i feel like that shit is just expected from dennys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge shout out to tumblr user nikumiku2003 for making [this](https://66.media.tumblr.com/d44397947c4272aadbcbd6b473a83b60/tumblr_messaging_phw6wf4dJx1ws2vs5_1280.jpg) incredible fan art of Yusuke attempting to punch Akechi in the face. I'm screaming, this is so amazing, thank you so much dude!! <3

_November 20th 2017_

_9:22 pm_

 

**Talk Shit Get Hit**

 

 **Joker:** fuck-you.img 

**Joker:** I lived bitch.

 **Oracle:** AKIRA

 **Oracle:** OH MY GOD YOU IGNORANT SLUT

 **Panther:** akira!!!

 **Skull:** jesus fuck dude u gave me a fucking heart attack

 **Fox:** What happened to you?

 **Joker:** Fuck if I know. I was high off my ass that entire time.

 **Joker:** I love spending the night in an underground interrogation room but at least they gave me my phone.

 **Joker:** Only problem is it’s at 28% so if I go mia I probably died.

 **Queen:** Akira is now really the time to be joking about that?

 **Joker:** It’s always the time to joke at my own expense.

 **Noir:** Akira-kun thank god you’re okay.

 **Joker:** I mean I don’t know about that. Apparently I died.

 **Skull:** dude cool it w that for a minute would u

 **Joker:** Sorry.

 **Joker:** The reception in here is shit. Smh least they could do is give me good internet connection.

 **Fox:** That room is far underground, what exactly did you expect?

 **Joker:** I was about to make a joke but I don’t think you’d appreciate it.

 **Panther:** you’re right we really wouldn’t appreciate it

 **Joker:** Damn

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_9:27 pm_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AK:** Hey I lived. You’re still going to keep your end of the deal, right?

 **YK:** You are such an asshole.

 **AK:** What?

 **AK:** What’d I do?

 **YK:** I really thought for a moment there, you were dead.

 **YK:** When they announced your suicide on the news, I wasn’t sure if we failed or not.

 **AK:** Shit… Didn’t think word would spread that quickly.

 **YK:** You’d be surprised.

 **AK:** Damn… I’m sorry.

 **AK:** But I’m here, aren’t I?

 **YK:** I suppose that’s true. That doesn’t make it any less terrifying.

 **YK:** What did they do to you?

 **AK:** A lot. I don’t remember all of it but… I do remember bits and pieces.

 **AK:** I don’t want to talk about it, though. Fuck, and I’m stuck down here for the night, too. Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.

 **AK:** Not like I really have a concept of time down here. It’s just a giant metal box with no windows. I can’t tell day from night.

 **YK:** I miss you.

 **AK:** About that deal…?

 **YK:** I did make you a promise, didn’t I?

 **AK:** That you did.

 **AK:** I want to get out of here. I want to see you.

 **YK:** Soon… Hopefully.

 **YK:** You are right about one thing. Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.

 **AK:** Fuck, I miss you. Sae kept yelling at me during interrogation because I kept going off about how much I care about you.

 **YK:** Futaba told me. She kept us updated, and made sure to let me know you were alive.

 **AK:** Was she listening in the entire time?

 **YK:** I don’t know. I know she was listening in a bit, but I’m unaware of how much she overheard.

 **AK:** Little gremlin. She’s so awesome sometimes.

 **YK:** She is quite dangerous.

 **AK:** That too. Dangerous gremlin child.

 **YK:** That is one way to put it.

 **AK:** Dangerous gremlin demon sister.

 **YK:** That is another way to put it.

 **AK:** God it’s so lonely in here. I wish you were here with me.

 **YK:** I wish you were here, because a metal box does not sound all that pleasant.

 **AK:** Maybe not but if you were here then it would just be you and me.

 **AK:** Well, and the security cameras. You into voyeurism?

 **YK:** Akira.

 **AK:** You don’t want to fuck in the interrogation room?

 **YK:** No. I really don’t.

 **AK:** Damn.

 **AK:** Is that included in our deal, though? You said anything, does that include that?

 **YK:** Unfortunately, no. That is the one thing I have to say no to.

 **AK:** That’s fair. Besides I don’t think my body would appreciate that. I think they bruised my ribs or something because it kind of hurts to breathe.

 **AK:** And move.

 **AK:** And… fuck I am in a lot of pain right now.

 **AK:** So maybe sex isn’t the best idea when my body feels like it’s on fire.

 **YK:** Definitely not.

 **YK:** Is there any way to ease the pain?

 **AK:** That sounds like a really bad pick up line.

 **YK:** Akira.

 **AK:** Also I am in a metal box, I don’t think so.

 **AK:** You could kiss it better.

 **AK:** I’m kind of just laying on the floor right now and hoping for the best.

 **YK:** I don’t think that will help.

 **AK:** Maybe not but it might take away some of the pressure.

 **AK:** Where’s Morgana with dia when you need him?

 **YK:** Last I heard, he’s with Futaba.

 **AK:** For emotional support?

 **YK:** Most likely.

 **AK:** Shit my phone really is about to die. I gotta go but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?

 **AK:** I love you.

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_9:29 pm_

 

**Ryuji Sakamoto → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **RS:** welcome back to the land of the livin dude

 **AK:** Thanks it’s kinda nice but kinda sucks ass.

 **RS:** for real tho im so glad ur ok

 **AK:** Yeah. Me too.

 **RS:** u looked p banged up in that pic tho

 **RS:** wtf happened?

 **AK:** A lot. I don’t think I want to talk about it right now.

 **RS:** thats fine. take ur time dude i aint gonna make u talk

 **AK:** Thanks for checking on me. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?

 **RS:** hell yea

 **RS:** we were all p scared for u dude

 **AK:** I know… I’m sorry about that.

 **AK:** I heard they announced my suicide already.

 **RS:** yea. it was real scary even tho we knew it was part of the plan

 **RS:** we had no way of knowin if u were actually dead or not

 **RS:** nd sae had ur phone so futaba couldnt check either

 **RS:** hey have u talked to yusuke yet? can only imagine wats goin on w him

 **AK:** I’m talking to him right now, actually. Everyone is texting me so I’m going through all my dms.

 **AK:** I don’t say it enough but I really love you guys. Thanks for being there for me after all this time, dude.

 **RS:** i would do anythin for u dude u kno that

 **RS:** ur my bro. u could tell me ur gonna fight the sun nd i would be ther to cheer u on

 **RS:** hell id prolly even back u up nd help u fight it

 **AK:** I’d do the same for you, too. You’re my best friend. Thanks for the constant support.

 **RS:** anytime

 **RS:** i kno ud do the same for me

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_9:30 pm_

 

**Ann Takamaki → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **AT:** you really are so reckless sometimes, you know that

 **AK:** So I’ve been told.

 **AT:** i’m glad you’re okay

 **AK:** God same. Never thought I would say this, but I miss my attic

 **AK:** At least there we have a heater. And blankets. And a cat.

 **AK:** Morgana is basically a heater for my chest.

 **AT:** he sleeps on your chest?

 **AK:** Usually.

 **AK:** Sometimes he spends the night over at Futaba’s place or Haru’s place.

 **AK:** But most of the time he sleeps on my chest.

 **AT:** that’s honestly adorable

 **AT:** how are you doing, anyways?

 **AK:** Uhh my head hurts and I miss my boyfriend.

 **AK:** So same as usual, this time with the added bonus of the fact that I’m _in a metal box._

 **AK:** Also it’s not just my head. My entire body hurts.

 **AT:** have you talked to yusuke yet?

 **AK:** Yep we’re talking right now. Fuck I really miss him.

 **AT:** you’ll see him tomorrow though

 **AT:** and for once none of us will yell at you about pda.

 **AK:** Are you kidding? Yusuke rejects every form of pda I try to offer, you guys don’t have to yell at us.

 **AK:** But… I’m sure it’ll be fine just this once.

 **AT:** pretty sure he misses you just as much as you miss him if not even more

 **AK:** Impossible. I miss him more.

 **AT:** maybe but you didn’t just hear about your boyfriend’s possible suicide on the news

 **AT:** i think he might be a little more concerned for you and maybe misses you a little more

 **AK:** Impossible.

 **AT:** that’s so gay

 **AK:** You’re gay.

 **AT:** got me there

 **AK:** Where’s Ryuji to yell at us for that when needed smh

 **AT:** probably crying and/or screaming into the void

 **AK:** God that’s a mood.

 **AK:** Thanks so much for the constant support, by the way. I couldn’t ask for a better team.

 **AT:** are you actually showing emotion right now?

 **AK:** I know, right? Guess I’m really not a robot. Damn.

 **AT:** you’ve exposed yourself

 **AK:** Damn.

 **AT:** but, on a more serious note, of course i’m going to support you. you were there for me at my lowest moment, and you supported me when i desperately needed someone to lean on. why wouldn’t i do the same for you?

 **AT:** you’ve done nothing but help all of us, not just me. you saved all of us. whatever you need, i’ll be there for you. understand?

 **AK:** Thank you. I… really appreciate that.

 **AT:** <3

 **AK:** <3

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_9:30 pm_

 

**Makoto Niijima → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **MN:** I must say, that was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. As usual, though, your timing is incredible.

 **AK:** What do you mean lmao

 **MN:** I mean that you texted the group directly after they announced you had committed suicide. I’m not sure if you saw, but all of us were freaking out in the chat. We weren’t sure whether it was real or if our plan had actually worked.

 **AK:** I’m okay. Sorry for scaring you.

 **MN:** Don’t apologize. You saved us, Akira. Thank you.

 **AK:** Anything for you guys. We’re a team, remember? I’d go through it all again if it meant you were all safe.

 **MN:** None of us would ever ask you to go through that again.

 **MN:** You’re amazing, Akira.

 **AK:** No, you guys are.

 **AK:** Your support and strength and just… You guys are the best team I could ask for. Maybe we haven’t always seen eye to eye but I would go to the ends of the Earth for all of you.

 **MN:** And we would do the exact same for you. I believe I speak for the team when I say that we would put our lives on the line if it meant we could protect you.

 **AK:** Well that sucks because I’ll put my life on the line for you guys.

 **AK:** Jokes on you because I already have.

 **MN:** You truly are superior on that front. If it came down to it, we would protect you, though.

 **AK:** You’re awesome, Queen. You know that?

 **MN:** Just Makoto is fine for right now.

 **AK:** Makoto. You’re awesome. I love you guys.

 **MN:** We love you, too.

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_9:31 pm_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **FS:** you ignorant slut

 **AK:** What’d I do?

 **FS:** you nearly died

 **FS:** if you died who would i get to watch anime and play video games with

 **AK:** Ryuji?

 **FS:** are you serious

 **FS:** he would never watch diabolik lovers with me

 **FS:** also he plays fortnite like a normie

 **AK:** Sorry.

 **AK:** But hey, I’m not dead. We can watch as much Diabolik Lovers as you want.

 **FS:** No we’re watching Vampire Knight I want to watch that with you

 **AK:** I’m down. Are we still going to play DMMD?

 **FS:** hell yes

 **FS:** akira i have to play through koujakus route come on

 **AK:** Isn’t that game entirely porn?

 **FS:** porn and really violent murder (and...other stuff) if you get a bad end

 **FS:** ALSO WE NEED TO PLAY NEKOPARA VOL 2

 **FS:** IN ONE SCENE ONE OF THE CAT GIRLS PEES ON THE MC

 **AK:** Why are you excited about that?

 **FS:** Akira. Cat girl pee.

 **AK:** Is that your kink?

 **FS:** no my kink is love and attention and people actually listening to me

 **AK:** Unrealistic. Stick to bondage.

 **FS:** is that what you did

 **AK:** You know it.

 **FS:** fuckin knew it

 **FS:** sae is going to release you tomorrow right

 **AK:** Yep. I’ll get to see you guys tomorrow.

 **FS:** yis

 **FS:** hey so

 **FS:** i heard your speech about family and shit

 **FS:** that was… really nice

 **AK:** It wasn’t nice. It’s how I feel.

 **AK:** You guys are my family. I would do anything for you.

 **AK:** You’re more of a family than my real parents ever were. I mean, as soon as they heard I was arrested they sent me here and hardly ever contact me. Who does that?

 **FS:** what the hell

 **AK:** I know. I’ve come to learn that blood isn’t always family. None of us may be related by blood but this group is my family.

 **FS:** akira

 **FS:** i didnt ask for diabetes today

 **FS:** but that was so sweet i think i have type 2 now

 **AK:** <3

 **AK:** Love you, Gremlin.

 **FS:**...love you too

 **FS:** <3

* * *

 

_November 20th 2017_

_9:31 pm_

 

**Haru Okumura → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **HO:** Hi akira-kun. I just wanted to quickly message you and say thank you for everything that you have done for us. I hope you’re doing okay.

 **AK:** Hey Haru. Yeah I’ll be fine.

 **AK:** Really, I should be thanking you here.

 **HO:** Me? For what?

 **AK:** For being there. Your support means everything to me, you know?

 **HO:** Of course we’re here for you. You were always there for us.

 **HO:** I appreciate everything you have done for our time. We all do. You were willing to sacrifice yourself for our sake.

 **AK:** Well yeah. It was me they were after. I’d even let them put an actual bullet through my real self if it meant you guys were safe.

 **HO:** Please do not do that. We need you alive, akira-kun.

 **AK:** Obviously it’s not preferred but if necessary I would absolutely do it.

 **HO:** Well thank goodness that’s not necessary.

 **AK:** Shit, my phone is at 7%. I gotta go.

 **AK:** Thanks for being there for me.

 **HO:** Thank you for being here for me as well.

 **HO:** I will see you tomorrow.

* * *

 

_November 21st 2017_

_6:05 pm_

 

Yusuke wasn’t sure he had ever been so jittery in his life.

He found it near impossible to stay still for long periods of time. The anticipation was killing him…

After school they had all met up at Leblanc and just… waited, up in the attic. It had already been two hours. Three cups of coffee and several failed sketches later, Makoto had received word from Sae that she was on her way.

Ryuji set a hand on Yusuke’s shoulder. “Dude. Chill. You’re more all over the place then Futaba usually is. Like a goddamn wind up toy or somethin’.”

Futaba looked up upon hearing her name. She aimlessly tapped at her phone. “I’m not all over the place.” She exclaimed. Futaba stuck her tongue out at Ryuji, and he returned the gesture.

Yusuke took a deep breath. Everything within him was churning. “I know. My apologies, I’m…”

“You wanna see him,” Ryuji finished. “I know. We all do. He’ll be here soon, alright?”

Yusuke nodded. He had never quite understood the meaning of the word “anticipation” until he joined the Phantom Thieves. There had been a lot of anticipation. Waiting for target deadlines, waiting for a change of heart, waiting, waiting, waiting. A lot of waiting. Then there was, of course, their plan. That plan had been one of the stupidest things the Phantom Thieves had ever come up with, but somehow it still worked. All of Tokyo thought Akira was dead, and the Phantom Thieves still had more work to do.

He twisted a pencil between his fingers. The entire team was scattered throughout the attic. Morgana and Futaba on the couch, Haru and Makoto on the bed, Ann leaning against the wall by the stairway… It was a lot to take in. Normally the scene would have provided some sort of inspiration but lately…

Yusuke shook his head. How could he think about art when his muse had nearly been killed? What a cruel end that would have been…

At that moment, Sae Niijima peered her head around the corner. “Ah. So these are the ‘Phantom Thieves’ I have heard so much about.”

Makoto paled, and jumped away from Haru, as if she had been physically burned sitting next to her, or they had been caught in the act. “Sorry, Sis…”

Sae chucked. “It’s okay, Makoto. Come on downstairs. There’s someone who would like to see you.”

The group was escorted downstairs. Hanging out in the doorway was Akira, looking as if he was dragged through a meat grinder.

Markings of black and blue coated his face. He had a strange cut above his eyebrow, not unlike the scar Yusuke carried with him, and dark rings surrounded each wrist. Shadows were etched into his skin, right under his eyes, as well as several concerning scrapes and scratches. The corner of his mouth twitched lightly, into a weak smirk. “...Hey, guys.”

Several things happened all at once.

Futaba practically launched herself off the staircase and ran into his arms. He wrapped her in a hug. Ryuji threw an arm around him, the others all gathered around. Yusuke, as much as he hated it, hung back a bit. He’d get his shot soon enough. Might as well let the others greet Akira, as much as it pained him.

“Hey, you big bastard.” Ryuji greeted playfully. “We missed ya.”

Ann tossed a pigtail over her shoulder and grabbed Akira’s other arm. “How’ve you been.”

Akira chuckled. “Careful, that hurts, Futaba, you’re hugging too tight,” Futaba let go, but still pressed herself against his side. “How’ve I been? I mean… I died, so… Pretty ghostly.”

The group let out a collective groan.

“C’mon, bad joke.” Ryuji stated.

Makoto nodded. “It truly is a relief to see your face.” Her voice cracked.

“Man, you look awful.” Ryuji said. “The hell happened in there?”

“Uh… Drugs. I think.” Akira deadpanned. “A lot of shit. It’s all kind of a blur.” He caught Yusuke’s eye from the otherside of the cafe. Akira managed to navigate through the sea of teenagers and approached Yusuke. Without saying a word, he pressed his face against Yusuke’s chest.

Yusuke tensed, but wrapped an arm around Akira. “...I missed you, too.”’

Akira groaned. The others were busy explaining to Sojiro just how they had managed to pull off their plan, because apparently they had forgotten to tell him anything. Sorry, Boss.

Yusuke let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding. What was...this? The dull, numbness and the deep seated pain, the urge to protect and will all of whatever hell Akira was experiencing away. He knew there was no way he could keep Akira out of harm's way all the time, but dammit, he wanted nothing more than to keep him safe. Dark swirls of blue and sangria across canvas. And… magenta? What a strange addition to the pallet.

Akira mumbled something, but it was muffled. He, likely begrudgingly, moved his face away from Yusuke’s chest. “...Fuck.” He uttered.

Yusuke mentally mapped the markings and impurities on Akira’s face. At one point, Yusuke may have turned away from those impurities. He had done the same to himself, after all. Part of the reason his hair was parted the way it was was to cover the scar above his eyebrow. He barely remembered how he got it, but he did remember it bleeding. There was… a lot of blood, and a cloth was pressed to the wound. The skin had never properly healed, and had left a gross discoloration from the rest of his face. Seeing what had happened to Akira, however, didn’t disgust him, but really just made him angry beyond belief. Some asshole had done this to him. Someone out there had thought it was okay to abuse or harm Akira, a _minor,_ and had gotten away with it. What kind of sick person did something like that? It didn’t matter if Akira was a criminal, he was still just a kid.

Akira stood on his toes and pressed a light kiss to Yusuke’s lips. It took every ounce of willpower to turn the light peck into something more. Not with everyone around, though. Yusuke never understood PDA, but at this point, it really didn’t matter. He needed to be as physically close to Akira as possible.

“...I really missed you.” Akira said. He rested his head in the crook Yusuke’s neck, and Yusuke allowed him to remain like that.

* * *

 

_November 21st 2017_

_7:18 pm_

 

Sojiro still didn’t entirely understand what they had attempted to do or how it had succeeded, but that was fine. Akira didn’t expect him to be able to fully understand the concept. Even now, Akira still had a difficult time grasping certain concepts. Cognitive psience was a weird thing.

Somehow, the entire group had gathered around one of the booths. Akira found himself seated between the wall and Yusuke. Lazily, he rested his head on Yusuke’s shoulder, and Yusuke wrapped his arm around Akira’s waist. Everything still throbbed. God, just how badly had those holding him in captivity fucked him up? If Akira thought about it, he could still feel his face being forcibly pressed into rough concrete. He definitely still had the scratches and bruises to prove it. Talk about corrupt…

Akira slipped in and out of consciousness. The after effects of the drugs still weighed heavy in his system. If he weren’t surrounded by as many people as he was, he would have considered sleeping right then and there. Someone pressed a warm cup of coffee in his hands and he weakly raised it to his lips. The acidic, bitter flavor danced across his taste buds. Focusing on the aroma managed to ground him, just a little bit. He sighed in content.

Ryuji said something, and Ann laughed. Makoto made a comment of amusement, her hand firmly gripping Haru’s. When did that happen? Did they finally get together? You miss one day, and apparently your friends who have been not dating for a few weeks finally make it official. Akira made a noise.

“Makoto, when did you and Haru…?” He eyed their entwined fingers. “When did that happen?”

Makoto blushed. “O-oh, um.” She attempted to tug her hand away. Haru just giggled.

“Sometime last night,” Haru purred. “We were both a little anxious out, and I offered to take her out for coffee in attempt to ease the stress.” She smiled sweetly.

“Okay… So are you guys dating now?” Akira’s words were sloppy and blended together. Definitely a side effect from the drug. Lovely.

Makoto’s face turned completely red. “Y-yes, we are.”

“About fucking time. At least one good thing came of all of this.” He rolled his eyes and nuzzled his face into Yusuke’s neck.

It was Ann’s turn to roll her eyes. “Akira, you say that, yet you’ve basically been attached to your boyfriend all night. Who, by the way, you’ve been in love with since the beginning of the summer, and attracted to since the very beginning.”

Even without looking, Akira could practically feel Yusuke raise an eyebrow. “Oh? It’s really been that long?” He traced a soft pattern into the fabric of Akira’s tattered uniform jacket. Yikes, he’d need to clean that at some point.

Akira pressed a finger to his lips and shushed her. “Don’t expose me like that. Or should we talk about you and Shiho?”

Ann made a face. “Please. It didn’t take me nearly as long to ask her out after I realized my feelings for her.”

“Oh yeah? How long did it take you to realize it, though.” Ryuji chimed in. He leaned back in his seat and crossed his leg over his knee. “If I’m correct, you thought it was normal to want to kiss your best friend for a while. Totally platonic.”

“Shut up.”

“Wasn’t Akira the one to point out that you had a crush on her?”

_“Shut up.”_

The two of them, much to the amusement (and annoyance, in Makoto’s case) to the rest of to the rest of the group, continued to bicker back and forth.

Akira craned his head up, forcing himself to look at Yusuke. Yusuke tightened his grip on Akira. Not enough to hurt, but enough to be comforting and remind Akira of his presence. Akira wouldn’t have been able to forget Yusuke’s presence if he tried.

Yusuke, as if sensing Akira’s gaze, turned to look at Akira, and offered a wry smile.

“...Missed you.” Akira whispered. “Hated it in there. It was too cold and isolated. I just wanted to be with you.” His heart ached just thinking about it. Or maybe that was just the internal bruising.

Yusuke sighed. “You’re here now, though. I’m sorry we had to put you through that.”

“Shut the hell up, don’t apologize for that. I put myself in that position so that the rest of you would be safe.”

Instead of responding, Yusuke pressed Akira’s lips against his own. Akira’s nerves tingled with giddiness. Everything within him demanded more.

“Oh my God, get a room.”

Begrudgingly, Akira broke away. Futaba tossed a straw wrapper at him from the other side of the table. “Seriously, I think I’m going to suffocate from all the love and shit in here.”

“Fuck off, I nearly died for that kiss. I think I deserve it.” Akira demanded. His words held no malice over her.

“Then perish.”

Ann leaned forward, resting her chest against the table. “You could always find a boyfriend or girlfriend of your own, Futaba.”

Futaba made a face of disgust. “Nah. I’m aro, Ann. People suck.”

“That’s fair.”

Ryuji let out a low whistle from the end of the table. “Gotta say, though. Yusuke’s got some real game.”

Yusuke shot him a look. “What are you talking about?”

Ryuji made a motion like a karate chop in Akira’s general vicinity. “Dude. Are you for real? I mean look at ‘im.”

Akira raised just one finger and pressed his head against Yusuke’s chest.

“Damn Inari. Way to really level up your seduction stat.” Futaba muttered. She kicked her legs back and forth under the table.

It was Yusuke’s turn to roll his eyes. “I have no idea what either of you two are referring to right now.”

Futaba and Ryuji shared a look that Akira could not decipher for the life of him. That was probably another side effect if the drugs.

“Fuckin’ normies.” Futaba said. Ryuji nodded in agreement.

* * *

 

_November 21st 2017_

_9:43 pm_

 

The rest of the evening passed in a blur. As to be expected, eventually everyone had to leave, until only Akira, Yusuke, Futaba, Morgana and Sojiro remained. Sojiro was too busy cleaning up shop to really pay any attention to them. Futaba, on the other hand, seemed more interested in her laptop.

Akira laced his hand in Yusuke’s. “We’re going to go upstairs.” He grunted.

Futaba smirked. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She snickered.

Akira rolled his eyes. “Please. Like I’d do that with any of you still here.”

Morgana looked up from where he stood on one of the tables, scandalized. “Akira, you better not.”

Sojiro raised an eyebrow. “I’m still here, you know. I can hear every word you two are saying.”

Futaba grinned smugly.

Akira just pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “That just proves my point further.”

“...Kid, you know this is a restaurant, right?”

“I’m aware.”

Futaba fumbled for something in her pocket and tossed it at Akira. “You might need that.”

Akira caught it, and only then did he realize just what was in the small foil packet. “Futaba, I already have enough condoms from you. More than enough. And I have the bong you gave me. Where did you even get that stuff?”

“Don’t worry about that part.” She beamed.

Akira shrugged and started upstairs with Yusuke in tow, ignoring Futaba’s calls of “use protection!” or Morgana’s offended meows of protest.

The attic was just as Akira had last left it. That was, to say, it was still as dusty and worn out as usual, just with his stuff scattered in various places. His space heater still sat directly in the center of the room. One of these days he was going to trip over it.

All the dizziness and drowsiness he had been feeling earlier had mostly faded. His head ached slightly, but it was mostly a dull ache somewhere in the back of his skull. He’d survive. Probably.

“Leblanc is always chaotic like that,” Akira admitted. “It’s nice, though. Kind of like a family. A severely dysfunctional family, but some sort of family. You know?”

He realized what he had said as soon as he said it.

“Not particularly. In case you were not aware, I’ve never really experienced ‘family’ like that.” Yusuke deadpanned.

“Right. Sorry, I…”

Yusuke held up a hand. “It’s quite alright, however my experiences as ‘family’ are vastly different from yours.” He made a face, likely dwelling on past memories. “Well. I suppose none of it matters now.”

Akira took a seat on his futon and signalled for Yusuke to sit next to him. “If it means anything, my situation is, well, was, similar.” He flopped on his back. “Mom and Dad don’t contact me much. They were always busy with work and such, and they had a tendency to fight a lot. Whatever I have here is much better than what was there.” He repressed a shutter. Memories upon memories of yelling and broken glass crossed his mind. All those late nights curled up by the crack in his bedroom door, listening to the never ending streams of screaming and curses. Maybe getting arrested was the best thing to happen to him. “Besides, Tokyo has a lot more to offer. There was nothing to do in Inaba. Except, maybe, hang out at Junes.”

Yusuke rested his hand on Akira’s thigh and considered this. “That’s… unfortunate. I’m sorry to hear your homelife was like that.”

“It doesn’t matter now, right?” Akira said, paraphrasing the same thing Yusuke had said earlier. He shifted his body, resting his head on Yusuke’s lap. Yusuke removed his hand from Akira’s thigh and instead began running slim fingers through locks of ink black hair.

Akira sighed in content. His body screamed in protest at his current position. It seemed no position was able to work with whatever internal and external damage had been done to him. Assholes…

With his free hand, Yusuke lifted one of Akira’s wrists to his face and placed a light kiss on the dark bruise surrounding his wrist. Akira’s face ignited with heat that he prayed was not visible.

“What was that for?” Akira questioned.

“I don’t know what happened in that interrogation room, but seeing what they did to you makes me sick.” A fire of pure rage flashed behind Yusuke’s icy gaze. “It does not matter if you’re technically considered a criminal, they have no right to treat you as they did.”

Akira’s heart lurched abruptly. “It’s okay, really, I’ll be okay.”

“It’s not okay, it’s police brutality.”

“It’s okay. We’ll get them back, yeah? Someone was pulling the strings and using Akechi as his puppet. We’ll figure out who, and we’ll change his heart.” Akira forced himself to sit up and kissed Yusuke quickly. “We’ll make up for this. Okay?”

“...Okay.” Yusuke finally admitted. “Still, they aren’t allowed to treat you as they did.”

“I know. They can’t do that, but they did. I really… don’t want to think about it.” Akira reached forward, brushing Yusuke’s bangs out of his face. Strands of silky blue hair slipped through Akira’s fingers like water.

A strip of gnarled flesh stretched across Yusuke’s left eyebrow. Akira lightly brushed at the scar with the pad of his finger. “What happened?”

“It’s nothing.” Yusuke blurted. He tensed, but made no move to push Akira’s hand away. “It’s just a scar. I’ve had it for years.”

Akira examined the scar. It was small, but large enough to be visible. Stitches were likely needed to sew the flesh together until the skin could mend itself. If Akira had to guess what caused the injury, he’d say penetration of a sharp object. Maybe the corner of something? He couldn’t be too sure. “Did Madarame do this?”

Yusuke averted Akira’s gaze. “It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

It was likely best to drop the subject. If Yusuke didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t have to. Akira pressed a kiss to the corner of the scar before letting Yusuke’s bangs fall back into place. Akira tilted his head to the side slightly and captured Yusuke’s lips in a kiss.

A warm, thorough kiss. The type of kiss he had been craving all day. The type of kiss that let Yusuke know that Akira was absolutely serious about him and showed him everything he had been keeping inside all day.

It was slow, but kind, responsive. A comforting, sunny fervor settled somewhere within Akira and began coursing throughout the rest of his body. He wrapped his arms around Yusuke’s neck, and Yusuke cradled the sides of Akira’s face in his hands.

Akira shut his eyes. One message was clear, at least to him, about this whole ordeal. One soft, sweet message that he had needed to hear for so long: _Welcome home._

Yusuke broke away first, only to be followed by their lips colliding once more. This kiss was more passionate, feverish. Akira moved his lips eagerly against Yusuke’s. A silent plea to never let go. Whatever dam had been holding him back had broken, and all of Akira’s passions and desires came flooding out.

Akira gripped Yusuke’s shoulder and pulled him as close as he physically could. Everything was a messy war of teeth and saliva and pure fire. It was a little awkward, sure, but that was to be expected. Romance, and everything that came with it, was always awkward. To make it work, one had to establish boundaries. Sometimes it was a matter of finding those boundaries. There were still plenty of boundaries left to be discovered.

Yusuke ran his hand down Akira’s spine and Akira shivered. He kissed Akira with an intensity that made Akira’s head spin with such a fervent radiance he had never known he contained. All of the bullshit, the abuse, blackmail, arrest, interrogation, all of it, it seemed, had been worth it, since it had gotten him to that very moment. Yusuke’s lips were cold against Akira’s. Cold, in a way that sent bolts of lightning through him and left him begging for more.

Apparently, however, some benevolent God (or gremlin sister) really did not want to give Akira what he wanted. At that moment, someone’s phone vibrated roughly. Akira pulled back, annoyed. “Are you serious.”

It was Akira’s phone. Of fucking course. It was like Hawaii, but somehow worse. With an annoyed groan, Akira tugged his phone out of his pocket.

* * *

 

_November 21st 2017_

_10:02 pm_

 

**Futaba Sakura → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **FS:** i can hear you guys making out upstairs

 **FS:** you both better still have pants on or i will murder you both

 **FS:** its cold down here and theres a heater upstairs

 **FS:** is it safe to go upstairs yet

 **FS:** i really dont want to see anyones dick today

 **AK:** You are actually a fucking gremlin you know that.

 **FS:** does that mean i can come upstairs im cold

 **AK:** I was busy.

 **FS:** busy getting your dick sucked?

 **AK:** No.

 **FS:** busy sucking inaris dick?

 **AK:** _No._

 **FS:** i swear to god just answer me

 **FS:** can i come upstairs yet

 **AK:** I mean I guess. Moment is ruined.

 **FS:** hell yea

* * *

 

_November 22nd 2017_

_8:14 am_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Fox:** I am about to punch Akechi square in the throat.

 **Skull:** i mean same but wym

 **Fox:** I passed him in the hallway and my fight or flight reflexes kicked in.

 **Fox:** I have to fight him.

 **Panther:** yusuke no

 **Skull:** wait u go to the same school as assketchy

 **Joker:** Assketchy pfft

 **Fox:** Unfortunately.

 **Joker:** I’ll let you fight him. Have Hifumi or someone film it and send it to me.

 **Panther:** akira no

 **Panther:** both of you need to chill

 **Joker:** :(

 **Skull:** dude that must suck

 **Fox:** Worst part is he had the decency to say hello to me. I am going to annihilate him.

 **Joker:** Kick his ass babe I’ll make sure your art stuff doesn’t get damaged.

 **Fox:** I appreciate that.

 **Panther:** yusuke do not fight akechi right now.

 **Panther:** especially not in the middle of the school hallway.

 **Fox:** If I was able to I would have done so by now.

 **Skull:** fite him behind dennys or smth

 **Skull:** i feel like that shit is just expected from dennys

 **Joker:** I mean probably.

 **Joker:** I just want to watch Yusuke beat the shit out of Akechi.

 **Skull:** would yusuke win that fight i mean?

 **Fox:** Excuse me.

 **Skull:** dude ur a twig i think akechi can snap u in half

 **Joker:** He might be a twig but he is also pissed off and scarily strong.

 **Skull:** thats...tru

 **Panther:** hey speaking of akechi what ever happened to cognitive akechi?

 **Fox:** We locked him in a closet, remember?

 **Panther:** yeah but

 **Panther:** did we ever let him out?

 **Joker:** …

 **Fox:** …

 **Skull:** …

 **Panther:** …

 **Fox:** It’s better this way.

 **Joker:** Guys…

 **Skull:** he was a bitch anyway hell be fine

 **Panther:** we left him in the closet…

 **Joker:** Does anyone else see the irony in this?

 **Skull:** dude i swear if u make a gay joke

 **Joker:** I won’t but…

 **Joker:** He’s still in the closet.

 **Panther:** akira…

 **Skull:** i stg

 **Joker:** You guys forgot about cognitive Akechi… You know you did have the opportunity to let him out, right?

 **Panther:** …

 **Fox:** …

 **Skull:** …

 **Joker:** After Akechi killed me? You could have gone back and let cognitive Akechi out.

 **Panther:** …

 **Fox:** …

 **Skull:** …

 **Fox:** It’s better this way.

 **Skull:** ^

 **Panther:** ^

 **Joker:** I swear to God.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akira is from Inaba you will have to pry this headcanon from my cold, dead hands.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818


	45. get fucked akira

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oracle: i love moments like these  
> Oracle: when the entire group just bands together  
> Oracle: and just collectively drags our leader  
> Oracle: true solidarity right there

_November 22nd 2017_

_9:16 am_

 

**Bible Study**

 

 **Joker:** Day one stuck inside and I’m already bored out of my mind.

 **Skull:** dude i would kill to be u rn

 **Skull:** school is just as lame as usual

 **Joker:** Are people talking about my suicide yet?

 **Skull:** oh yea… its all anyone is talkin abt rn

 **Joker:** Cool.

 **Joker:** @Panther what did Kawakami say happened to me? Did she tell people I killed myself?

 **Panther:** no. she said you went home because something happened but you’ll be back eventually

 **Joker:** Goddamn right I’ll be back eventually. I’m so bored.

 **Panther:** where’s futaba?

 **Joker:** Asleep. She could be asleep for actual days.

 **Joker:** Someone come ditch school and hang out with me.

 **Skull:** i would but makoto would kick our asses

 **Joker:** And?

 **Skull:** dude

 **Skull:** have u seen her

 **Skull:** shes terrifying

 **Joker:** I’ll protect you, come hang out with me.

 **Skull:** ur also severely injured she could easily overpower u

 **Joker:** Use me as a shield. She won’t hit me if I can barely walk.

 **Skull:** _dude_

 **Skull:** _shouldnt u be lying down or smth_

 **Joker:** Meh.

 **Joker:** Dammit I want to ask Sojiro for coffee but I’m not allowed downstairs. I don’t have his cell number so I can’t call him, and _Futaba is asleep._

 **Joker:** My one sister has abandoned me when I need her most.

 **Joker:** If I throw things at the floor will that get his attention?

 **Skull:** prolly

 **Panther:** why don’t you just call the public phone?

 **Joker:** I don’t know the number off the top of my head.

 **Panther:** is there a phone book anywhere?

 **Joker:** … You know what, this attic is old enough to have one of those. Fuck alright let me look around.

 **Joker:** Morgana said he would deliver a note for me bless him.

 **Skull:** messenger cat?

 **Joker:** Morgana said he’s not a cat.

 **Skull:** is that how were gonna b sending messages in the future?

 **Panther:** by cat?

 **Skull:** ye

 **Panther:** I mean…

 **Joker:** Aren’t panthers just big cats?

 **Panther:** i’m not delivering a letter for you fuck off

 **Joker:** Damn. I’ll just have Neko Shogun do it for me. Or Nekomata

 **Skull:** uhh wut

 **Joker:** One of my personas.

 **Skull:** dude

 **Panther:** nekomata?

 **Joker:**...Slave kitty.

 **Skull:** kinky

 **Joker:** _No._

 **Joker:** Morgana is back. He said Sojiro is bringing me coffee.

 **Joker:** #blessed

 **Skull:**  never used #blessed again

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the group to_ **_#Blessed_ ** _~_

 **Skull:** i hate u

 **Joker:** You love me :*

 **Skull:** save that shit for ur boy

 **Joker:** Please. That shit doesn’t work on.

 **Joker:** Now if I asked him to draw me like one of his french girls… Do you think that would work?

 **Skull:** doubt it

 **Panther:** has yusuke even seen that movie?

 **Joker:** No idea, probably not.

 **Joker:** That movie sucked ass anyway.

 **Skull:** i jst watched the trailer for it

 **Skull:** i didnt wanna see the entire movie

 **Panther:** you’re both hopeless

 **Joker:** I forgot that you like chick flicks like that, Ann.

 **Joker:** COFFEE IS HERE HELL YES

 **Joker:** #blessed

 **Skull:** _dude_

 **Joker:** Okay fuck you guys.

 **Skull:** lmao wut

 **Panther:** what??

 **Joker:** Sojiro hesitated before giving it to me. When I asked why he just shook his head and said that Yusuke and I are not to be left alone ever.

 **Skull:** nd how is this our fault?

 **Joker:** _You fuckers wrote “I like my coffee how I like my men: hot and can hurt me” on my goddamn face._

 **Skull:** pfff

 **Panther:** kjsffd

* * *

 

_November 22nd 2017_

_7:30 pm_

 

**#Blessed**

 

 **Joker:** Masayoshi Shido. That’s the fucker we’re working with apparently.

 **Queen:** He was the one controlling Akechi all along…

 **Oracle:** that explains a lot actually

 **Oracle:** in one of his phone conversations he did refer to the person on the other end as shido-san

 **Joker:** You didn’t think to say anything before this?

 **Oracle:** hhh i didnt have the chance

 **Oracle:** you nearly died it sort of just slipped my mind

 **Queen:** She does have a point. We had a lot going on. The last thing we needed was more stress to deal with. Not to mention, at the type we didn’t know who “Shido-san” was, so it would not have helped much.

 **Noir:** But what do we do from here? We weren’t able to find his keywords

 **Joker:** We have a name and “diet building.”

 **Oracle:** now its just a matter of what

 **Joker:** Okay this is going to sound crazy but

 **Joker:** I feel like I’ve run into Shido before. His voice… it’s so familiar. It’s driving me crazy…

 **Skull:** yo akira u remember the wilton buffet after we changed kamoshidas heart?

 **Joker:** Yeah, what about it? Why bring that up now?

 **Skull:** remember that dick by the elevators we met?

 **Joker:** Yeah…?

 **Joker:** Wait. Are you saying…

 **Skull:** that shido is the same asshole from back then?

 **Skull:** yea. im not 100% on that but he seems real familiar

 **Joker:** Holy shit… Ryuji, I think you’re right.

 **Joker:** Back then, too, I felt as if I knew Shido from somewhere. I just didn’t know where…

 **Joker:** I… I think…

 **Joker:** Don’t quote me on this, because right now it’s just a guess, not to mention during traumatic events the brain tends to subconsciously fill in memories that weren’t actually there, but I think… Shido might have been who got me arrested

 **Skull:** WAT

 **Oracle:** are you serious?

 **Queen:** Oh my God…

 **Noir:** Akira-kun…

 **Noir:** We have to change his heart now.

 **Skull:** ^

 **Joker:** I’m not positive just yet. I couldn’t get a good look at his face from back then but the voices are nearly identical. I don’t think I could forget that voice if I tried.

 **Joker:** I’m relatively sure it was him, but I can’t be quick to make that judgement. Still, all of it adds up…

 **Queen:** It’s decided. Masayoshi Shido is our next target. However…

 **Joker:** Oh no

 **Queen:** Shouldn’t we wait until your wounds are healed, Akira?

 **Joker:** I’m fine let’s go

 **Oracle:** i think the fuck not

 **Joker:** Dammit

 **Oracle:** the other night you could barely move you were in so much pain

 **Oracle:** i had to act as support for you

 **Joker:** Okay but I’m doing better, really. We have a mission and we’re running on a time limit here. We have until December 17th. That’s just under a month. Come on, the sooner the better. We don’t need another repeat of Futaba’s palace.

 **Oracle:** what happened in my palace

 **Joker:** We weren’t able to change your heart until about a week before the deadline. By the time you woke up, it was literally just in time for the deadline and it was the most stressful week of our lives.

 **Skull:** dude that doesnt chaneg the fact that ur literally covered in bruises

 **Joker:** Chaneg

 **Skull:** now is not the time to be makin fun of my typos

 **Joker:** It’s always time to make fun of your typos.

 **Skull:** dude can u pls be seriosu about this

 **Joker:** Oh my god.

 **Joker:** Can’t you see I don’t want to be serious about it? Yeah, I know I got really badly injured. It hurts like a bitch and it needs time to heal. I don’t want to deal with all of that, and I don’t want you guys treating me like I’m a doll. I can still do things for myself, even in this state. If I was able to endure all their shit, I can endure whatever Shido has to throw at us.

 **Joker:** Look. I’m really stressed out right now. I don’t want to think about all of it and instead just joke about it to make it easier to deal with.

 **Skull:** dude…

 **Skull:** im sorry

 **Skull:** i was out of line. sorry

 **Joker:** It’s fine. You didn’t know.

 **Joker:** Anyways, yeah. Tomorrow after school we’ll try to figure out Shido’s keywords. Time for more guess and check.

 **Noir:** Ok…

 **Queen:** If you’re sure you’re up for it.

 **Oracle:** whatever you say leader

* * *

 

_November 23rd 2017_

_11:03 am_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AK:** Ditch school to make out with me.

 **AK:** *hang out

 **AK:** Actually I like make out better. Ditch school to make out with me.

 **YK:** I would if I could.

 **AK:** I’m so bored already.

 **YK:** Where’s Futaba?

 **AK:** Right here. We just got done playing several rounds of Super Smash Bros.

 **AK:** And I mean _several._

 **AK:** She’s currently looking through the rest of my games and insulting me for my taste.

 **YK:** I’m sure she can keep you occupied for a few more hours.

 **AK:** Yusuke I’m dying.

 **AK:** It’s so boring up here all the time. Why do you think I’m rarely in here?

 **AK:** Only times I’m here are for homework, training, making tools, playing video games or when everyone decides to gather here for some reason.

 **YK:** I would skip school except we have a test next period and I would rather not have to make it up later.

 **AK:** :(

 **AK:** Lame

 **AK:** Futaba also says you’re lame.

 **YK:** Futaba wants me to skip school as well?

 **AK:** Yeah

 **AK:** Her words exactly: “Inari is basically my future brother in law so where is he to hang out with his family. Everyone else is here where is the furry.”

 **YK:** At school. Where I should be.

 **AK:** :\

 **AK:** Futaba stole my phone and sent that.

 **AK:** :\

 **YK:** Was that one also Futaba?

 **AK:** No that one was me.

 **AK:** :\

 **YK:** :\

 **AK:** YOU USED AN EMOJI

 **AK:** You’re learning.

 **YK:** :\

 **AK:** :\

* * *

 

_November 23rd 2017_

_8:46 pm_

 

**#Blessed**

 

 **Panther:** so shido really is the one who got akira arrested…

 **Joker:** Yup. No doubt about it, that’s the guy.

 **Queen:** Tomorrow we have to find Shido’s keywords.

 **Panther:** but how? we don’t know what he thinks of the diet building

 **Queen:** Akira, did he say anything strange that could possibly hint as his keywords back then?

 **Joker:** I mean… Maybe?

 **Joker:** He said something like… “watch where I steer this country”

 **Panther:** steer? you mean like a car?

 **Joker:** Maybe? Not sure how you’re going to fit an entire country into a car though.

 **Panther:** that would be dumb. impressive, but dumb

 **Joker:** I don’t think it’s a car. We’ll just have to think about it tonight and then guess and check tomorrow.

 **Panther:** got it

 **Queen:** Understood.

* * *

 

_November 24th 2017_

_9:20 pm_

 

**#Blessed**

 

 **Skull:** an efin boat

 **Skull:** god damn

 **Panther:** i can’t believe you and akira really did do the “jack i’m flying” bit from titanic

 **Skull:** im just surprised yusuke didnt freeze me where i stood

 **Panther:** yeah, honestly. he’s real protective of akira, especially after sae’s palace

 **Joker:** I know he is and I love it.

 **Panther:** akira that’s really gay

 **Joker:** You’re really gay.

 **Joker:** But yeah it is really gay and I have never swooned so hard in my life.

 **Skull:** no _thats_ really gay

 **Panther:** goddamn akira

 **Skull:** does that make me a competitor or a threat?

 **Fox:** Don’t flatter yourself, you weren’t even a player in the first place.

 **Panther:** akqjfd

 **Joker:** OOF

 **Joker:** GET FUCKED RYUJI

 **Skull:** wow ok am i not good enough for u akira

 **Joker:** I have a boyfriend.

 **Skull:** _we know_

 **Panther:** _we all know akira_

 **Panther:** how many pirate jokes and titanic references are we going to have to deal with this entire palace

 **Skull:** a lot

 **Joker:** Get used to it Ann.

 **Panther:** you two are impossible

 **Joker:** Hey we could be making mouse puns.

 **Panther:** ugh stop

 **Panther:** yusuke’s puns are awful

 **Fox:** I just spent about five minutes trying to think of a pun, but it’s not working.

 **Panther:** you came up with them no problem in the palace

 **Fox:** Yes, but I was also irritating Futaba in the process.

 **Panther:** that’s..true

 **Skull:** dude jfc

 **Joker:** Irritating Futaba is always fun.

 **Joker:** Yesterday I kept annoying her by throwing condoms at her and she was ready to murder me.

 **Skull:** y

 **Joker:** It was funny and I was bored. Besides, I still have so many condoms.

 **Joker:** And a bong shaped like a dick. Anyone looking for a new bong? Otherwise I’m just going to turn it into a vase.

 **Skull:** uh no

 **Panther:** i’m ok…

 **Fox:** No.

 **Joker:** Well fuck okay. Guess I have a dick vase now.

* * *

 

_November 25th 2017_

_2:39 pm_

 

**#Blessed**

 

 **Skull:** yo we going into the palace today?

 **Joker:** Yeah hold on need to crush Futaba.

 **Oracle:** get fucked akira

 **Joker:** get out of my attic

 **Oracle:** akira just broke his controller

 **Joker:** I no longer know anyone by the name of Futaba Sakura.

 **Oracle:** wow sore loser :\

 **Noir:** Oh no! What happened?

 **Oracle:** akiras mad that i kicked his ass in mario kart

 **Skull:** for real?

 **Skull:** hes so good at that game wtf

 **Oracle:** maybe so

 **Oracle:** but im better

 **Joker:** Futaba is dead to me

 **Skull:** uhh

 **Noir:** Aww. I’m sorry, akira-kun.

 **Oracle:** why are you sorry for him hes being a bitch about it

 **Joker:** _Fuck. You._

 **Oracle:** no thanks thats inaris job

 **Joker:** _I will break your skull._

 **Oracle:** uh huh

 **Skull:** so uh

 **Skull:** we goin into the palace or not

 **Joker:** Yeah sure let me just eat my knife

 **Skull:** _im sorry ur gonna do wat_

 **Noir:** Oh no…

 **Oracle:** PFFF

 **Joker:** What?

 **Joker:** WAIT SHIT

 **Joker:** *GET

 **Joker:** *GET I MEANT

 **Joker:** ***GET MY KNIFE

 **Oracle:** AKIRA VORES KNIVES

 **Skull:** JESUS SKJJFH

 **Noir:** That’s quite a talent akira-kun. Please be careful.

 **Joker:** I’M NOT EATING MY KNIFE IT WAS A TYPO

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_knife vore_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** ABSOLUTELY NOT YOU GREMLIN

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_FUTABA IS BANNED_ ** _~_

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Oracle:** coward

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Akira vores knives_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** NO

 **Skull:** uh

 **Skull:** guys

 **Skull:** hello???

 **Skull:** haru i think they died its been lik 5 mins nd neither one of them has said anythin

 **Noir:** I hope they’re okay.

 **Skull:** my bets r on akira

 **Noir:** I disagree. Akira-kun may be physically strong but he is also injured, not to mention futaba-chan has many strange talents

 **Skull:** u right

 **Skull:** i change my vote to futaba

 **Skull:** u think akira vored his knife yet

 **Noir:** It’s possible. I hope he’s okay.

 **Skull:**  they prolly died

 **Noir:** I hope they're okay..

 **Joker:** Calm down we’re alive.

 **Oracle:** akira lost

 **Joker:** Don’t listen to her she’s a gremlin.

 **Noir:** What happened?

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has demoted_ **_Oracle_ ** _~_

 **Oracle:** wow :\

 **Joker:** You deserve it gremlin.

 **Oracle:** akira tried to spray me with a spray bottle

 **Oracle:** but i took it

 **Joker:** Gremlin played dirty and fucking kicked me in the shin and stole the bottle

 **Skull:** coulda been worse

 **Joker:** Gremlin then proceeded to assault me with the spray bottle until it was empty.

 **Joker:** She then threw it at me, as well as the video game controllers. Including the broken one.

 **Joker:** While this happened, Morgana proceeded to bolt out of the way and hide under my futon.

 **Joker:** I think he’s spooked.

 **Noir:** Is mona-chan okay?

 **Joker:** Nice to know where your priorities lie, Haru.

 **Joker:** All of this came to a dramatic conclusion when Sojiro came upstairs and told us to fucking chill. Apparently there are some customers downstairs and they are very concerned for us.

 **Skull:** get fuked akira

 **Joker:** Thanks Ryuji love you too.

 **Oracle:** get fucked akira

 **Joker:** All of you are dead to me.

 **Skull:** so uh

 **Skull:** we goin into the palace?

 **Joker:** Yeah I guess.

 **Oracle:** dont eat your knife >:3

 **Joker:** SHUT

* * *

 

_November 27th 2017_

_4:02 am_

 

**Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **YK:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B91tozyQs9M ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B91tozyQs9M)

**AK:** Uh what.

 **AK:** Yusuke what is that.

 **YK:** To attract a mate, the puffer fish creates art like that. It works non stop for weeks to create that.

 **AK:** Why are you sending this to me. It’s four in the morning.

 **YK:** I needed to share this with someone else.

 **AK:** Are you trying to attract me as a mate?

 **YK:** No.

 **YK:** When the puffer fish ingests water the skin on its stomach inflates.

 **AK:** What.

 **YK:** Puffer fish do not have scales.

 **AK:** What are you doing.

 **YK:** Apparently doing research on puffer fish, as they are fascinating creatures.

 **YK:** One puffer fish has enough toxin in its system to kill roughly 30 adult men.

 **AK:** Where are you getting all of this information.

 **YK:** [ http://www.softschools.com/facts/animals/puffer_fish_facts/59/ ](http://www.softschools.com/facts/animals/puffer_fish_facts/59/)

**AK:** Yusuke what the hell.

 **YK:** I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole.

 **AK:** So are puffer fish better than lobsters?

 **YK:** Absolutely not. I’m offended you would even suggest such a thing.

 **AK:** Are your lobsters offended?

 **YK:** They are lobsters, Akira. They can’t read.

 **AK:** Wow.

 **AK:** How are your lobsters?

 **YK:** Da Pinchi and Kani Masanobu are doing well.

 **AK:** You

 **AK:** You named them Da Pinchi and Masanobu.

 **YK:** Yes.

 **AK:** In regards to Leonardo da Vinci and Kano Masanobu.

 **YK:** Yes.

 **AK:** I don’t know whether to be proud or disappointed.

 **YK:** Your opinion on their names is irrelevant either way.

 **AK:** Wow okay.

 **YK:** Puffer fish apparently have teeth that never stop growing.

 **AK:** Yusuke. Honey.

 **AK:** I love you but it is four am. Please go to sleep. You have school in a few hours.

 **YK:** Okay.

 **AK:** Goodnight <3

* * *

 

_November 28th 2017_

_7:28 pm_

 

**Akira vores knives**

 

 **Joker:** WHAT’S UP GAMERS IT’S YA BOY AKIRA  “JOKER” KURUSU HERE COMING AT YOU LIVE WITH ANOTHER GODDAMN PALACE EXPLORATION. TODAY WE’RE EXPLORING THE SHIP OF THE CORRUPT MASAYOSHI SHIDO. WE’RE GOING TO SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES UNTIL MY HEART WILL GO ON GETS STUCK IN HIS HEAD, BECAUSE IT SURE AS HELL IS STUCK IN MINE.

 **Queen:** Are you okay, Akira?

 **Joker:** No. My Heart Will Go On is stuck in my head and literally nothing can remove it, we’ve been listening to it for so long.

 **Joker:** Why did we let Futaba loop it and how can we stop her.

 **Oracle:** it annoys inari

 **Oracle:** bitch shouldnt have made all those mouse puns

 **Joker:** He’s going to continue to make mouse puns just to spite you.

 **Oracle:** then i will keep blasting my heart will go on just to spite him

 **Joker:** What’s up gamers it’s ya boy coming at you live with another minecraft let’s play.

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Oracle:** are you ok :\

 **Joker:** No. I’m losing it.

 **Joker:** My Heart Will Go On, combined with what feels like years of being trapped inside my attic prison. I’m losing my mind here.

 **Joker:** My only company has been a cat and Futaba. And Morgana has been going for a lot of walks lately.

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Oracle:** ok ill just leave you alone then

 **Oracle:** have fun with your thoughts

 **Joker:** Wait no come back.

 **Queen:** Akira, shouldn’t you be taking it easy? You’re still injured.

 **Joker:** Nah.

 **Queen:** On this subject, Akira perhaps you should stop doing everything in your power to show off.

 **Joker:** Wdym Makoto I’m not showing off

 **Oracle:** no youre just being unbearably extra

 **Joker:** I’m not Extra.

 **Oracle:** you felt the need to capitalize the e in extra akira

 **Queen:** Akira, I disagree with that statement.

 **Joker:** What have I ever done that’s Extra?

 **Queen:** @Everyone What are some things Akira has done that can be considered “Extra.”

 **Panther:** backflips onto the shoulders of shadows to rip their masks off

 **Skull:** yells show me ur true form when rippin of shadows masks

 **Fox:** Complains that “he’s dying” when he hasn’t seen me in a day or so.

 **Noir:** Poses dramatically with flowers in his mouth when i grow them sometimes.

 **Oracle:** spins his phone on his fingertips without dropping it with no reason

 **Oracle:** i get anxiety whenever he does that

 **Panther:** akira and ryuji attempted to reenact the “king of the world” scene from titanic

 **Oracle:** daddy kink persona

 **Fox:** Legitimately walked around wearing a shirt that said “save a horse ride a cowboy” with red cowboy boots.

 **Noir:** Had a little too much fun fighting shadows in the arena in sae’s palace.

 **Skull:** has a little too much fun with shadows in general

 **Panther:** he and ryuji decided to recreate the soulful nay nay vine

 **Fox:** Learned how to play the piano for the sake of a joke.

 **Oracle:** added whats new pussy cat to the mementos playlist several times

 **Noir:** When last surprise came on he floored it.

 **Skull:** asked shadows to eat their ass

 **Panther:** added hatsune miku to the mementos playlist

 **Fox:** That Mementos playlist in general…

 **Oracle:** was able to recite all the lyrics to slob on my knob from memory

 **Noir:** Wanted to break out the punishment cop outfit for halloween

 **Skull:** said he was going to shove a jack o lantern up his ass and light it for halloween

 **Panther:** summoned the most cursed persona i have ever seen

 **Joker:** You mean Abbadon right?

 **Panther:** i don’t know and i don’t care what its name is, it’s disgusting

 **Fox:** Grabbed my tail as a means of a baton pass.

 **Joker:** I was going to slap your ass but I didn’t think it would be appreciated.

 **Fox:** No, it absolutely would not.

 **Oracle:** aggressively naruto ran at ryuji

 **Skull:** t-posed mishima into a corner

 **Noir:** Stood up in front of the student body and told me that makoto had feelings for me

 **Panther:** made fun of ryuji when ryuji got his hand stuck in a vending machine

 **Fox:** “High class date to Big Bang Burger”

 **Oracle:** threw his video game controller in anger after i kicked his ass in mario kart >:)

 **Noir:** Admitted to being a furry.

 **Joker:** OKAY I GET IT YOU GUYS CAN STOP

 **Skull:** tried to eat his knife

 **Joker:** NO STOP

 **Joker:** OKAY I GET IT STOP DRAGGING ME

 **Panther:** most of that is just from this month alone

 **Oracle:** i love moments like these

 **Oracle:** when the entire group just bands together

 **Oracle:** and just collectively drags our leader

 **Oracle:** true solidarity right there

 **Joker:** I hate all of you so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updates lately. Last week was a bit of a rough week for me and I had to take a break from writing. Sorry this chapter is also kind of lame. I wanted a dumb filler chapter filled with shitposts, and in the dp5gc server there were a lot of suggestions y'all had that had been sitting there for 80 years, so I decided to finally work some of those suggestions into the story. This chapter is mostly just filler with some plot sprinkled in here and there. The Shido arc officially starts now. We getting close to the end ny'all.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818  
> join the dp5gc discord: https://discord.gg/cwBhAF7


	46. laundry sauce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oracle: drink the hidden snacc  
> Queen: Futaba for the love of god, please do not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHOUT OUT TO COCO AND MIKE FOR MAKING THE MEGAMIND EDITS FOR ME. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASSISTING IN MY CURSED CONTENT.

_November 29th 2017_

_6:13 pm_

 

**Akira vores knives**

 

 **Joker:** Y’all ever notice that Shido looks like fuckin Megamind or some shit because damn look at that head.

 **Panther:** skjdfhkjsdf

 **Oracle:** he really does

 **Panther:** he looks like the villain from alvin and the chipmunks

 **Oracle:** concept

 **Oracle:** [illuminaticonfirmed.png](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/481326911310528512/514284174840954880/unknown.png)

 **Joker:** Futaba oh my god

 **Panther:** i like that you named it “illuminati confirmed”

 **Oracle:** it makes sense

 **Joker:** Holy shit

 **Joker:** Shido really is fucking Megamind jesus. Just throw some glasses on Megamind and bam, our future prime minister.

 **Oracle:** >:3

 **Oracle:** [ shidomind.jpg ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357689731938516993/514283696950607889/megamind.jpg)

**Joker:** Thanks! I hate it!

 **Panther:** that is...terrifying

 **Joker:** I regret everything.

 **Oracle:** you brought this on yourself

**Joker:**

**Joker:** Yeah…

 **Panther:** akira this is your fault

 **Joker:** I have many regrets

 **Skull:** y tf did i open my phone to see megamind with glasses

 **Joker:** It’s Shido.

 **Skull:** wh

 **Skull:** i hate it

 **Oracle:** on that note

 **Oracle:** we going to the palace

 **Joker:** Hecc yes

 **Oracle:** sick

 **Joker:** Don’t use that term in my good christian household.

 **Oracle:** _sick_

 **Joker:** We are a family of the lord and you’re over here talking like a stoner fuckboy that is not allowed.

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Sick_ ** _~_

 **Joker:** No.

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has demoted_ **_Oracle_ ** _~_

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Titanic_ ** _~_

 **Skull:** so palace?

 **Joker:** Yep meet at Leblanc in 15

 **Skull:** gotcha

* * *

 

_December 1st 2017_

_12:00 am_

 

**Titanic**

 

 **Oracle:** MERRY CHRISTMAS ASSHOLES

 **Oracle:** HO HO FUCKING HO

 **Oracle:** happy holidays nyall

 **Fox:** It is twelve in the morning. Did you really wait this long just to say that?

 **Oracle:** ye

 **Fox:** It’s hardly December 1st.

 **Oracle:** _did i fucking stutter inari_

 **Oracle:** _merry christmas fucker_

 **Fox:** Christmas is not for another 25 days.

 **Oracle:** :|

 **Oracle:** >:|

 **Oracle:**  (•_•)

 **Oracle:** well fuck you too

 **Fox:** I’m just stating the facts, Futaba.

 **Oracle:** no

 **Oracle:** youre being a downer

 **Oracle:** youre an artist wheres the good christmas art

 **Fox:** Has yet to be drawn, as it is hardly even December.

 **Oracle:** bah humbug

 **Queen:** Have the two of you ever heard of a thing called “sleep”?

 **Oracle:** no

 **Fox:** Yes.

 **Queen:** Maybe you should try it sometime.

 **Queen:** It’s a nice alternative to blowing up the group chat while people are sleeping.

 **Oracle:** no

 **Fox:** No.

 **Queen:** The two of you are impossible.

 **Oracle:** (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

 **Queen:** It is twelve in the morning on a school night. Yusuke, please consider getting some sleep.

 **Fox:** When I finish this painting I’ll sleep.

 **Oracle:** then why are you here

 **Fox:** I had to take a break. Also you were spamming the chat.

 **Oracle:** yall know theres a do not disturb option right

 **Fox:** I’m aware.

 **Queen:** Please try to finish soon so that you can sleep. Goodnight.

 **Oracle:** gn mom

 **Fox:** Goodnight Makoto.

* * *

 

_December 2nd 2017_

_4:11 pm_

 

**Titanic**

 

 **Joker:** I’m crying Morgana is officially my favorite.

 **Skull:** theres still so much catfur in my mouth rn

 **Joker:** You’re fine Ryuji.

 **Noir:** Huh? Why is there cat fur in your mouth, ryuji-kun?

 **Skull:** cuz monas an asshole

 **Joker:** He wasn’t being an asshole, he was learning.

 **Noir:** What happened?

 **Joker:** Morgana yawned and Ryuji stuck his finger in Morgana’s mouth.

 **Joker:** Later Ryuji yawned and Morgana stuck his paw in Ryuji’s mouth.

 **Skull:** theres so much fur

 **Joker:** Stop being dramatic.

 **Noir:** Aww! That’s adorable! Mona-chan learned that from you, ryuji-kun!

 **Skull:** not adorable

 **Joker:** Morgana didn’t bite Ryuji or anything he just sort of looked… confused.

 **Skull:** he stuck his entire fukin paw in my mouth

 **Joker:** Of course he did, he doesn’t have fingers Ryuji.

 **Joker:** That was the sweetest thing I have ever seen honestly.

 **Noir:** I wish i could have seen it. That’s so precious!

 **Skull:** uh no morgana is an effin demon is what that was

 **Joker:** He was bonding with you, Ryuji.

 **Skull:** watever that was wasnt bonding

 **Noir:** You two are so cute!

 **Skull:** no

 **Joker:** She’s right, Ryuji.

 **Skull:** _no_

* * *

 

_December 4th 2017_

_8:52 pm_

 

**Titanic**

 

 **Joker:** You guys know the laundromat right by Leblanc?

 **Queen:** Yes. Why?

 **Fox:** I know of it. Why do you mention it?

 **Joker:** Well…

 **Joker:** fuck.img 

**Joker:** I think I broke the washing machine.

 **Skull:** woah..

 **Fox:** How did you manage that?

 **Oracle:** that thing looks like the void

 **Queen:** Akira. What did you do.

 **Joker:** I just did laundry???

 **Joker:** I’m guessing this machine has draining issues or something but really all I did was throw in some of the dirty clothes we found in Mementos and ran the machine?

 **Joker:** End of the cycle I guess the water just never drained. And now we have… the void.

 **Joker:** Dammit now I have to scrounge around in dirty ass laundry water to find all of the clothes. This is Fine.

 **Skull:** y is the water black?

 **Fox:** The dye from the clothes, most likely. What color are the clothes?

 **Joker:** Uhh there’s two black shirts, a red shirt and a pair of blue jeans.

 **Fox:** Definitely the dye from the clothes then.

 **Oracle:** laundry sauce

 **Queen:** No…

 **Skull:** wouldnt the sauce be the detergent?

 **Oracle:** the water and the detergent individually are their own sauces

 **Oracle:** mixed together they just create one major sauce

 **Oracle:** together they are laundry sauce

 **Oracle:** throw that shit on your clothes cronch cronch

 **Queen:** Please do not…

 **Fox:** Why are you two like this.

 **Oracle:** the forbidden snacc

 **Joker:** I hate this conversation

 **Skull:** u started it

 **Joker:** the-void.img 

**Joker:** I removed the clothes. Nice close up image on the Void.

 **Oracle:** can i drink it

 **Joker:** I mean you’ll probably get sick but go for it.

 **Oracle:** drink the hidden snacc

 **Queen:** Futaba for the love of god, please do not.

 **Oracle:** inari literally drinks paint water

 **Oracle:** why cant i drink laundry sauce

 **Queen:** Yusuke really shouldn’t be drinking his paint water.

 **Fox:** It’s not intentional.

 **Joker:** He just gets really into it and doesn’t realize he’s drinking from the wrong container.

 **Queen:** Still…

 **Oracle:** brb gotta nyoom over to the laundromat and drink from the void

 **Queen:** Futaba don’t you dare.

 **Joker:** I won’t let her drink it.

 **Joker:** But Futaba pls come here I’m so bored and it’s going to take actual years before the clothes dry after soaking in whatever disgusting liquid came from that washing machine

 **Oracle:** omw bb

 **Joker:** Bless,,,

* * *

 

_December 5th 2017_

_3:29 am_

 

**Ryuji Sakamoto → Futaba Sakura**

 

 **RS:** hey uh futaba??

 **RS:** got a question for ya

 **FS:** what up

 **RS:** [ unknown.png ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357689731938516993/499353158460506112/unknown.png)

**RS:** so uh

 **RS:** u wanna explain to me

 **RS:** y u have this in ur steam library

 **FS:** IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

 **FS:** I KNEW YOU WOULD SEE IT EVENTUALLY

 **RS:** wat the eff futaba

 **FS:** it was 1000 yen on this shady ass russian website how could i not

 **RS:** futaba…

 **FS:** i have never even opened them

 **FS:** or installed them

 **FS:** they just sit there in my steam library

 **FS:** figured one day id play them as a joke with someone

 **FS:** probably akira or you

 **RS:** [ unknown.png ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357689731938516993/499353495829348382/unknown.png)

**RS:** wat the fuck

 **FS:** YEP

 **FS:** HAVE THOSE TOO

 **RS:** why

 **FS:** PLAYED THEM AS A JOKE IN VC ONCE

 **FS:** that was a nightmare

 **RS:** im lookin through my own games and uh

 **RS:** when tf did i get dota 2 i dont remember that

 **FS:** everyone has that it just comes with steam

 **FS:** youd probaby hate it

 **RS:** at least i dont got sakura swim club

 **RS:** _wait_

 **FS:** UH BITCH YES YOU DO

 **FS:** I SHARED MY GAMES WITH YOU

 **FS:** YOU TECHNICALLY OWN SAKURA SWIM CLUB YOU FUCK

 **RS:** SHIT

 **FS:** i used to just gift people with some really horrible af games

 **FS:** just so people would see it in their steam libraries

 **RS:** u mean u dont still do that

 **FS:** havent done that recently

 **FS:** although i did give akira deep space waifu

 **RS:** that

 **RS:** thats a thing?

 **FS:** yep

 **FS:** since youre looking through my steam games

 **FS:** im gonna look through yours

 **RS:** go for it

 **FS:** DUDE YOU HAVE OCTODAD

 **RS:** nearly broke my controller playin that game but yea

 **FS:** been there

 **FS:** i went through several controllers trying to play super meat boy

 **FS:** hey ryuji

 **RS:** yea

 **FS:** [ unknown.png ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357689731938516993/499353751732224000/unknown.png)

**FS:** thats just a sin

 **RS:** I DONT APPRECIATE THE JUDGEMENT

 **FS:** if you say you played cod at any age older than 14 im shaming you

 **RS:** liSTEN

 **FS:** RYUJI WHY DO YOU HAVE SONIC ADVENTURE

 **RS:** DO I

 **RS:** I DONT REMEMBER EVER GETTING THAT GAME

 **FS:** ITS RIGHT THERE

 **FS:** more importantly why dont i have sonic adventure

 **FS:** smh i gotta get on this

 **FS:** i cant find any other games to shame you for surprisingly

 **FS:** unless im supposed to shame you for games i have too

 **FS:** ew you have HUNIEPOP

 **FS:** disgusting

 **RS:** believe it or not i actually didnt get that game for the porn

 **FS:** its really fun to play actually

 **FS:** the anime tiddies are a plus

 **RS:** arent u ace wtf

 **FS:** ya

 **FS:** yea no i cant shame you for anything

 **FS:** _except for fucking fortnite and pubg you normie_

 **RS:** _listen those games are fun even if everything else tied to it sucks_

 **FS:** _normie_

* * *

 

_December 8th 2017_

_8:24 pm_

 

**Titanic**

 

 **Fox:** I still cannot believe the seven of you decided to play in the pool.

 **Queen:** _That is not what happened and you know it._

 **Fox:** Are you sure? Towards the end there it really devolved into that.

 **Noir:** It would have been fun had we actually been in swimsuits. Wet leather isn’t too fun to deal with.

 **Joker:** I can’t believe this. My own boyfriend, left me to die in the pool.

 **Fox:** We both know exactly what would have happened had I helped you out.

 **Oracle:** i have most of it recorded >:3

 **Fox:** Of course you do.

 **Panther:** i still don’t entirely know what happened there. up until the moment ryuji dragged me in, anyways

 **Skull:** _U TRIED TO PUSH ME OFC I DRAGGED YOU IN_

 **Joker:** We’re a team, Ann. If one of us get pulled into the pool, the rest of us do as well.

 **Joker:** Except Yusuke and Futaba, apparently. Traitors.

 **Oracle:** :3

 **Joker:** Makoto would you care to explain just what happened.

 **Queen:** I just slipped. Really, it’s not that big of a deal. All of us have slipped within the Metaverse before.

 **Noir:** Maybe we shouldn’t run within the pool area…

 **Noir:** Mako-chan slipped and grabbed onto me for support. The both of us fell into the pool. It was fun, though.

 **Panther:** for real?

 **Panther:** makoto, you are the last person i would expect that to happen to. if anything, ryuji seems most likely to trip like that.

 **Queen:** I don’t want to talk about it.

 **Noir:** Why did you push ryuji-kun into the pool, ann-chan?

 **Panther:** he made a dirty joke

 **Panther:** and he dragged me in with him

 **Oracle:** makoto made haru wet

 **Queen:** _Futaba!_

 **Panther:** that’s the joke that caused me to push ryuji in

 **Joker:** I don’t even know how you guys dragged me in but one of you pulled me in.

 **Joker:** Morgana is still salty, just so you know. He did not appreciate that.

 **Noir:** I’m sorry, mona-chan.

 **Skull:** he was the one who decided to try to help ann

 **Panther:** i appreciate the thought but…

 **Joker:** He’s a cat.

 **Joker:** Morgana just hit me. Sorry Mona, not a cat.

 **Joker:** Hey Ryuji, how’s it going for you?

 **Panther:** oh yeah, he couldn’t use magic for a while afterwards… lightning and water don’t mix.

 **Skull:** just efin great

 **Fox:** How was electrocuting yourself several times.

 **Skull:** i dont need ur sass rn

 **Noir:** Are you okay, ryuji-kun?

 **Skull:** yea im alright just shocked myself a few times

 **Oracle:** lol nice job

 **Skull:** shut up gremlin

 **Oracle** >:(

 **Oracle:** rude

 **Joker:** I still can’t believe Yusuke abandoned me.

 **Fox:** Akira we all know had I tried to help you out you would have pulled me into the pool with you.

 **Skull:** dont fuck w that akira he has ice powers

 **Joker:** :(

 **Joker:** But honey…

 **Fox:** No.

 **Oracle:** akira looked like a drowned rat when coming out of the pool

 **Fox:** He acted just like a dog…

 **Oracle:** i mean he is your bitch

 **Joker:** I am… right here

 **Joker:** It’s true but you shouldn’t say it.

 **Queen:** Akira you shook your head back and forth to remove some of the water. The same exact way a dog or cat would shake out their fur.

 **Oracle:** akira?

 **Oracle:** an actual cat??

 **Oracle:** more @ 11

 **Joker:** No.

 **Oracle:** inari?

 **Oracle:** an actual furry??

 **Oracle:** actually wait we already know that

 **Queen:** _Maybe we should drop this subject now._

 **Noir:** I sense danger in that sentence…

 **Noir:** Sorry mako-chan!

 **Joker:** Yeah… let’s stop this conversation before she kills us

 **Queen:** :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yall sorry this chapter is a day late, my motivation has really been lacking this week. Shout out to the dp5gc discord though, as they assisted me in writing up the last part of this chapter with the pool in Shido's palace. The bit with the laundry sauce though was actually something that happened to me over the summer. My washing machine broke and the server kept calling it "laundry sauce." Three months later and I'm finally including it in this cursed af fic.  
> Thank you for being patient with me guys. I'm sorry I've been lacking in my update schedule. Everything is just really insane right now. Between work and school and just my overall mental health I haven't been able to write much lately. I'm trying though, so please just hang in there. I refuse to give up on this, so rest assure I will eventually update, even if I miss a couple of weeks. Thank you all for being so supportive and understanding.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818  
> dp5gc discord: https://discord.gg/cwBhAF7


	47. akechi's depressing adventure into hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: Wow you guys really have it out for each other. Don’t hurt my boyfriend, Ryuji.  
> Skull: i aint tryin to it just seems to be workin out that way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: implied panic attacks, mental breakdowns and uhhh yeah some shit really goes down this chapter if you couldn't tell by the title

_ December 10th 2017 _

_ 9:18 pm _

 

**Titanic**

 

**Joker:** Yo Makoto how’s your hand?

**Queen:** It’s fine, thank you. I would appreciate if you would not bring up that incident.

**Joker:** We’ve all fucked up with our weapons at some point, it’s no big deal. You grabbed brass knuckles by the wrong end, not the worst thing in the world.

**Joker:** One time Ryuji accidentally threw his pipe and it hit Yusuke in the face.

**Skull:** i didnt mean to

**Joker:** Nearly broke Yusuke’s nose doing that.

**Skull:** remember when ann got all tangled in her whip

**Joker:** Pff yes. Shortly afterwards she tripped going down the stairs. Kamoshida’s palace, am I right?

**Panther:** that palace was a nightmare

**Panther:** akira, how many times have you cut yourself with your knife?

**Joker:** Too many. I’ve caught it by the blade before and I’ve nicked myself with it several times.

**Skull:** the sheath on yusukes katana has come off before and nearly hit me

**Skull:** aint those things designed so that the sheath doesnt fly off like that

**Panther:** yeah well… mistakes happen

**Joker:** Wow you guys really have it out for each other. Don’t hurt my boyfriend, Ryuji.

**Skull:** i aint tryin to it just seems to be workin out that way

**Joker:** Uh huh.

**Joker:** We’ve all seen Futaba fly around in Necronomicon. The little gargoyle on top his  _ everything.  _ It’s kind of funny

**Oracle:** _ i told you it echos on the inside and its scary _

**Joker:** Your reaction is still hilarious.

**Skull:** remember when harus ax came flying out of her hand on backswing

**Skull:** nearly hit me w it

**Noir:** I’m sorry, ryuji-kun

**Skull:** its all good dude

**Queen:** I don’t usually make mistakes like this.

**Queen:** I’m sorry, everyone. There’s been a lot on my mind lately, and apparently it has been affecting me in the Metaverse. 

**Panther:** it’s totally fine makoto. we’ve all been a bit distracted lately

**Joker:** You want to talk about it?

**Queen:** Well…

**Queen:** I suppose it’s just really beginning to sink in that this is our final heist. This is… really it.

**Queen:** After this, there will be no more targets, no more calling cards, no more personas…

**Noir:** ...No more phantom thieves.

**Skull:** shit dude…

**Oracle:** makoto…

**Queen:** I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring the mood down.

**Joker:** No, it’s okay… We needed to have this conversation, eventually. Yeah, I guess this really is our last heist.

**Panther:** well… if this is it, then let’s go out with a bang!

**Oracle:** ^

**Skull:** hell yea ann’s got the right idea

**Queen:** Well, you can’t really argue with that. Besides, we do need to discuss what we’re going to do about the calling card sooner than later.

**Oracle:** :3c

**Skull:** uhh wats with that face futaba

**Oracle:** heheheh >:3

**Skull:** anyone else vaguelyk trheatened rn

**Panther:** did you have a stroke while typing that

**Skull:** shut

**Joker:** We’ll definitely go out with a bang. You really think I’d let this team--  _ my team--  _ go out without a word? Please. We’re definitely going to go out with style.

**Skull:** now thats wat im talkin about

**Joker:** This is our last heist, and it sucks thinking about it. There will always be another shitty adult and another corrupt asshole in the world, but we can’t change them all. We’ve already let the fame get to us once, and if we keep at it for too long then in turn we’ll likely become more corrupt. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t ever want to lose sight of our mission again. Shido is the most corrupt and vile piece of shit I have ever had the unfortunate luck of interacting with him. We’re going to take his heart and let the entire world know we’re the good guys. We’ll clear our name, take down Shido and then quit while we’re ahead.

**Joker:** Sorry, that became really long.

**Queen:** You’re right. My apologies, I should not have allowed the thought to crowd my mind.

**Joker:** It’s all good, Makoto. We’ve all been thinking about it. It was time to finally address the issue. From here on out, we all do our best, okay? Don’t let it get you down too much. We’re all a bit sad but all good things must come to an end.

**Queen:** Understood. I will do my best and I hope the same of all of you.

**Joker:** Of course.

**Skull:** gotcha

**Noir:** I’ll try my hardest!

**Panther:** same here!

**Oracle:** yeet

**Joker:** Either way, the route is now secure. I’ll let you know when it’s finally time to send out the calling card.

* * *

_ December 11th 2017 _

_ 2:13 pm _

 

**Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

**AK:** Hey so.. Last palace, huh?

**YK:** It seems that way, yes.

**AK:** What’s your take on all of this?

**YK:** Well, we knew it had to end eventually. Still, to think it would end right now…

**AK:** I don’t think we could have picked a better target for the job.

**YK:** Agreed.

**AK:** I’ll be going back to school, soon. Means no more time hanging around hopelessly in an attic all day.

**YK:** Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

**AK:** A bit of both. I’ll miss screwing around with Futaba during the day like that, but I was going crazy up there. Still, just in time for midterms…

**AK:** I’m really not used to being in the attic for so long so now it feels like I’m going absolutely crazy up here. I used to work three part time jobs before, so there was never a dull moment in my life, you know?

**AK:** And that’s if you don’t count the work I did at Crossroads Bar a few times. Lala-chan is really nice and offered to show me the ropes if I had time.

**YK:** How on earth did you manage that many jobs?

**AK:** I have no idea. On the bright side, they help pay for our expeditions as Phantom Thieves.

**AK:** Ugh it’s weird to think that this is really it, isn’t it?

**YK:** I suppose so. It’s almost like this strange piece is slowly deteriorating; you know it’s going to come loose, but you don’t know when, or how different it is without it until it’s truly gone.

**AK:** In a way, isn’t everything like that? You don’t realize how good you have it, or how big a part of your life something has become until it’s gone. 

**YK:** Yes, in a way, I suppose so. I didn’t realize how big a part of my life you had become until I thought I had lost you.

**AK:** KJELRFG

**AK:** Sorry I just swooned. Warn a guy before dropping a line like that, fuck.

**YK:** My apologies.

**AK:** Don’t apologize. But… damn. 

**AK:** I had a similar realization the other day. Back in the interrogation room, even though I could barely even recall my name, I realized just how important this team is to me. How much all of you mean to me. You, especially.

**AK:** But as I said before, all good things have to come to an end eventually. Memories made in the Phantom Thieves have simultaneously been the best and worst moments of my life. Without this, we would never have met, and I never would have fallen for you. 

**YK:** You fell for me?

**AK:** Yeah, I think I did. I really think I did. 

**AK:** Point is, it’s time to move on. We can't do this forever, as much as we may want to.

**YK:** I'm still trying to process the fact. This is our final heist, our very last mission, no more palaces or Mementos or Personas after this, this is it. Everything we have become so familiar with. Without any of this, I would never have been introduced to any of you, nor would I have made it out of that...situation. 

**YK:** It's just a lot to process right now.

**AK:** Yeah...

* * *

 

_ December 12th 2017 _

_ 6:59 pm _

 

“Everyone’s here. The calling card is our last task. Let’s put an end to this, Joker.”

Morgana made direct eye contact with Akira from where he sat in between Futaba and Makoto. 

Akira nodded once. “Right.” The infiltration route had been secured a couple of days ago. It had taken a day of preparation before they could finally send it out, giving Akira the time he needed for last minute preparations. New, customized weapons, a full stock of medicine and healing items, and powerful personas of a variety of different abilities had all been obtained. So this was it, huh? Final heist? 

Ryuji leaned back in one of the barstools and crossed a leg over one knee. “It’s finally comin’ down to this, huh?” A wide grin, going from ear to ear spread across his face. “How’re we gonna send out the calling card?”

“It would be pointless to send it to the Diet Building.” Yusuke observed.

“Even if we did hand it over to different media sources, there’d be no telling how it would be treated.” Makoto noted.

“Worst case scenario would be giving it to the police under the table.” Akira remarked.

Futaba snickered to herself and began typing furiously at her laptop. 

Haru folded her hands in her lap and twiddled her thumbs. “What shall we do, then?”

Damn… They really hadn’t thought that far ahead. As Yusuke had said, giving it to the Diet Building was pointless. Someone else was likely to find it before Shido and it would be removed from sight before Shido could see it. Even if they repeated past techniques, such as spreading it across the entire building like with Madarame and Kaneshiro, they were more than likely to get caught. Kids walking around a political building would be seen as suspicious, and a cat would be thrown out without a second thought. They likely also had security cameras, watching their every move. Different media outlets would likely warp the story, change it up, leak information to the public before it even reached Shido’s ears. And the police… The less said about that one, the better.

Akira shook his head. “I don’t know… Hmm…”

Futaba’s chortling grew louder, her typing somehow quicker and more aggressive. 

Haru cocked her head to the side. “Fu- Futaba-chan?”

Futaba grinned in a way that would put even the Cheshire Cat to shame. “My Futaba Cannon is ready. It’s good to go. Look!” She turned around her laptop so that the others could all see, but not to a point where she couldn’t access it. “Now, if I do this…”

...Holy shit.

Makoto sprung up from her seat and examined the screen. “When did you make this?!”

“More importantly, when did you find the time?” Akira duly noted. A project like that couldn’t have been easy, and when it came to tech, Futaba was a perfectionist.

Futaba smirked but said nothing.

Ryuji sputtered. “You-- you shoulda told us you were plannin’ something!”

“To trick your enemies, you must first trick your allies. Just wait until you see this in action!”

Wow… Now that would definitely get the attention of the public without worrying about media manipulation. It completely surpassed all security and potential traces to them, while also spreading the information they so desperately needed the public to hear. Only problem was…

“What if someone intercepts the broadcast in the middle of the calling card?” Akira asked. That was the last thing they needed…

Futaba waved a hand at him. “Oh, they definitely will. Don’t worry though. I got it covered.” She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and offered another devious grin. 

Yusuke hummed in approval. “How stylish.”

“It’s kickass!” Ann chimed in.

“Isn’t it?” Futaba turned her attention back to the screen. She cackled once more. “Joker? Your input?”

It was… beyond impressive. 

It was fool proof.

It was incredible.

It was just what they needed.

Akira smirked his trademark Joker smirk. “Let the show begin.”

_ Checkmate. _

* * *

 

_ December 12th 2017 _

_ 8:18 pm _

 

The moment they stepped foot into Shido’s palace, something was off. Unsettling, almost.

Not the usual levels of unsettlement that typically came with sending a calling card, either. A shiver ran up Akira’s spine. Was someone watching them?

He jogged forward, and the heels of hit boots clicked against the metal flooring. In his hand, he held his dagger firmly. It wasn’t exactly necessary, but somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice told him to keep it on standby. Somehow, he just knew he would need it sooner than later.

Metal pipes went across the ceiling in the lower deck like rafters. They were connected to the water supply and the boiler, Akira presumed. Something having to do with the plumbing.

A long, dark shadow stretched across the floor. Not the enemy shadows, but shadows caused by light. A shadow, taking the vague shape of a human, with something flowing from behind him and… and a pointed mask.

No…

Akira stopped dead in his tracks and whirled around. “No way…”

Standing atop one of the pipes was Akechi. He made direct eye contact with Akira and sneered, then promptly flipped off of the pipe. And people thought Akira was extra…

Akechi landed perfectly on his feet, like a cat. “Long time no see.” His voice was hollow, empty. The calm before the storm… 

Futaba spoke first. “Why is he here?” Wasn’t that just the million dollar question…

Akechi blinked, and completely ignored her. Everything he said was directed specifically at Akira. “I’m impressed that you managed to deceive me. It seems I underestimated your abilities. You truly are interesting. Quiet, yet possessing the courage and determination to take action. Under different circumstances, we could have been great rivals. Perhaps even friends.”

An icy chill crept down Akira’s back, as if someone had casted bufu on him. He barely suppressed a shiver. What exactly was Akechi getting at?

“We’re already rivals. Or did you not know?” Akira remarked. They were rivals the moment Akechi betrayed the team. 

Akechi laughed loudly, but without humor. “You don’t allow yourself to become enslaved by such things such as human relations or past selves, and so your heart is always free. The exact opposite of mine. To be honest, I’m envious.” His pupils were dilated. Something severely sinister hid behind crimson irises. The storm was brewing. “I wonder why we couldn’t have met a few years earlier, Joker. But, I suppose it’s no use talking in hypotheticals.” He shook his head. “That didn’t happen in reality. You know, it’s funny. Perhaps I should have known you were one step ahead of me. After all, you did mention that your ‘friend’ was able to gain access to places she doesn’t belong.” He spat the word “friend” as if it burned him to say. “Did you gather blackmail? Record my phone calls? Go through my emails?”

Futaba shrank back, ducking behind Yusuke. Queen stepped forward. “Akechi. Why are you cooperating with someone like Shido? Don’t you see what this palace looks like? His true nature is--”

Akechi cut her off. “‘Cooperating?’ What are you talking about. I don’t care for Shido or this country.” Venom soaked through his every word.  “All this is to make Masayoshi Shido, my father, acknowledge me, then exact revenge on him.”

Father…?

Akira internally cringed. A lot more suddenly made sense. If Shido was his father, he’d probably turn to murder, too.

Yusuke was the first to voice these concerns. “Shido is your father…?”

“Remember I said before, how my mother had a relationship with a good for nothing man? I’m his bastard child. My very existence is nothing but a scandal.” Akechi’s lip curled into a hard frown. His voice began to shake. “My mother’s life turned for the worst after she had me… and died. I was a cursed child for her, too.”

Ann tugged awkwardly at one of her pigtails. Her soft, blue eyes widened in horror. “That’s awful…”

He continued on, ignoring her comment. “I resented him, but he was already a high ranking official by then. A kid like me could do nothing.” His eyebrows knit together. The most emotion he had expressed all evening, Akira observed. 

Something was very wrong. Why was Akechi-- the usually polite, expressive Akechi-- so blank? Akira had only ever heard this voice once, in the audio clips they had recorded from Akechi’s voice. Even then, there had been a little more life to him. Dammit, the suspense was suffocating.

“But… that’s when it happened.” Akechi let out a low, throaty chuckle.

Oh no.

“That’s when I learned about the cognitive world.” He gestured to their surroundings. “Someone, be a god or demon, gave me a chance. I couldn’t contain my laughter.” He curled his hands into fists, as his voice grew louder. Something ticked behind those otherwise dull words. Slowly but surely, a bomb was counting down. Judging by Akechi’s erratic speech patterns, and the slight bend in his spine, the way he hunched over his fists and giggled, that clock was much closer to zero than Akira was comfortable with.

Ryuji growled. “Oh, you son of a…”

“Who cares. My targets were all doing the same damn thing in this eat or be eaten world. All I did was remove their evil from society. How is that any different from the Phantom Thieves?” Like cracks in dried concrete, an achingly grim smile spread across Akechi’s face. Any sane person would immediately know to stay away from that smile. It was a good thing Akira wasn’t sane.

Ann stamped her foot on the ground, creating a loud “clang” with her heel. “We’re  _ not  _ murderers!”

Akechi slashed his arm through the air, similar to that of a football coach.  _ “So what?!  _ Masayoshi Shido is finally in my grasp. Once he reaches the apex of his power and acknowledges me, I’m going to tell him the truth of who I really am.” He cackled maniacally. “And that’s when I-- an utter disgrace to the world-- will rule over him. I will prevail.”

Ten… Nine… Eight…

“What a warped thought. It’s almost pitiable.” Yusuke stated. He sent Akechi a harsh glare. Something told Joker that maybe putting Fox on the front line was either the best or worst person he could have chosen for the mission.

Akechi brushed his mask out of his face. Shadows traced underneath bloodshot eyes. “In just a few short weeks, my plan would have come to fruition. But no, you just had to interfere. I can still take it back though. I just need to  _ kill you all.”  _

Seven… Six… Five… Four...

Morgana snorted, like the smug bastard he was. “Hmph. We won’t be killed for something like that. You talk big, but you’re really nothing more than a scared little kid throwing a temper tantrum.”

Three… Two… 

“Don’t lecture me you piece of shit. I’m going to personally thrust Masayoshi Shido into a living hell,” Akechi snarled. His eyes were glossy. “So Joker, may you rest easy… And die.”

...One.

Boom.

Just like that, whatever thread of sanity Goro Akechi was clinging to broke. Any trace of humanity seemed to have just disappeared. When using cursed abilities, Akira always got this sick rush of pure dark matter and nihilism. Akechi was the living embodiment of just that.

“If that’s what you want,” Akira twirled the dagger in his hand. “Then let’s finish this.”

“There’s no need to speak any longer.”

Akechi drew his saber from his belt, and the blade blazed blue. He rushed towards Akira.

Akira raised his dagger to block it, prepared for the strike, but…

...But the strike never came.

The sound of metal against metal clashed through the air. Akira looked up, only to find a katana met with the light of Akechi’s saber.

...Yusuke’s katana.

Bitterly crisp frost radiated off of him.

“Don’t touch him.”

He spoke slowly, but boldly. Each synonym muttered was another freshly sharpened knife.

Another clash of metal.

“Don’t you  _ dare  _ touch Akira. After everything you put him through? You’re lucky to even be standing here right now.” 

* * *

_ December 12th 2017 _

_ 8:37 pm _

 

“Damn it…!” 

Akechi crumbled to the ground. He dropped his saber and allowed it to roll a little ways away from him.

Morgana tsked and shook his head. “So he’s able to turn people psychotic. I thought it was something special, like the Nav, but it turns out…”

“...That seems to be his persona’s power.” Akira finished.

How internally fucked up did one person have to be to awaken to the power to turn people psychotic? It didn’t make any sense. Somewhere in the back of Akira’s mind, he wondered if that could have been him had he never met the others.

Makoto wiped a bead of sweat off the back of her forehead. Her face was grim, sullen. She looked as if she had just seen a ghost. “I can’t believe the ability to control and drive others mad came from within his heart.” She shared a glance with Akira. A glance that told him just everything going through her mind. After all, he was thinking it too:

_ Who did this…? _

In another timeline, perhaps Akira could have met Akechi earlier. Had the circumstances been different, just as Akechi had said, maybe they could have been friends instead of enemies. Akira would be lying if he were to say he wasn’t at all drawn to Akechi. Something about him was emotionally captivating, his charisma was truly a sight to be seen, Akechi was just… something unique. He was another outcast, just like Akira. Someone who was just thrown out into the world with nowhere to go. The main difference between he and Akira was that Akira had managed to find some light and seek out the right path. Akechi was unable to do that. In seeing the effects of those around him turn psychotic, shadows or otherwise, it left so many unanswered questions.

Akechi grit his teeth and clutched at a wound on his stomach. “I’ll… I’ll kill you. You’re all… gonna die…” He wheezed out. A shroud of hysteria and psychosis clung to him. It exerted an almost inane presence; something completely ridiculous, but something that could turn anyone into a puddle of their own fear and anxiety. 

“Will you please stop? You’re fighting the wrong people! We both hate the same guy. Why do we have to go against each other?” Ann begged. She was figuratively hanging off the side of a cliff, her suggestions borderline desperate.

“Killing us won’t make you happy.” Queen noted.

Ryuji nodded frantically. “This ain’t about what Shido says. You’re your own person, you gotta know that.” Even he, who had been very quick to make his hatred for Akechi apparent, was audibly on wits end. Like trying to explain something to a brick wall.

Futaba shuffled forwards awkwardly. “You know, sometimes I think about that fake Medjed you guys made up. That was the worst trap, but if not for that, I don’t think I would be here right now.” She spoke softly, quiet as a mouse. Strands of orange hair hung in her face like a curtain. Wistfully, she tapped at the frame of her goggles. She examined her green gloves for a moment, then visibly jolted. “Uhhh, basically what I’m saying is it’s never too late to start over!” The statement was followed up by anxious giggling.

Morgana kicked at the ground with his little cat leg. “And you don’t really hate Joker, do you. That smile, before we fought… That’s how you really felt, isn’t it? Even if you think people hate you or don’t want you around, it’s--” 

Akechi banged his fist against the metal floor, similar to that of an upset toddler. “Shut up. Shut up, shut up,  _ shut up!”  _ He pulled himself off the floor. “Teammates?  _ Friends?  _ To hell with that! Why am I inferior to you?!” He was but broken glass amongst the midst of ruin. Akechi was only going to hurt others, but would end up hurting himself in the process. He yelled loudly out of frustration, screaming his voice raw. “I was extremely particular about my life, my grades, my public image, so that someone would want me around!  _ I  _ am an ace detective… a celebrity!” He gripped fistfuls of his hair and hung his head down in shame. His body visibly shook. “But  _ you,  _ you’re just some criminal trash living in an attic. So how…?! How does someone like you have things I don’t?!”

Tears pricked at Akechi’s eyes. At the end of the day, was this tantrum really all caused by jealousy?

“How can such a worthless piece of trash be more special than me?!”

Akira pressed a gloved hand to his temple. “Akechi, you need to stop. That’s not the case at all. Aren’t you supposed to be good at making deductions? Can’t you tell you’re wrong?”

“This argument is meaningless.” 

Something flashed around Akechi. A combination of red and black power, similar colors to Akira’s own patterns. Something clouded behind him, nearly a smear of pitch black energy. It happened to quick to properly make it out.

Just like that, it was all gone.

“What was that?!” Queen spoke up first. No one had an answer for her.

Yusuke clutched the grip of his katana in preparation. “A black mask…” Leave it to him to make that connection.

A black mask… was  _ Akechi  _ the one who Madarame and Kaneshiro’s shadow had mentioned? It made too much sense, but it couldn’t be… Could it?

Queen nodded once. She turned to Akechi once more. “You were behind the mental shutdowns and psychotic breakdowns after all.”

Akechi smirked and pressed a hand to his face. “Oh, this is great. I’m really surprised… For once, I might have to try my hardest against you. You know, I just came up with a fun little idea. I wonder how far I can go with this… You wanted to see my powers, didn’t you?” His eye twitched. “Fine. I’ll show them to you.”

He laughed mercilessly, and leaned back. Any further back and he would completely fall, Akira thought.

“You’re right; I don’t give a  _ damn  _ about Shido’s acknowledgement. All I care about now is killing you.” His words were completely laced with dilution. Void, desolate madness soaked him to the bone. Everything about him set Akira’s nerves ablaze, his fight or flight reflex strong. Either way, they both knew how this ended. Akira would die for real… or Akechi would. The Phantom Thieves were not murderers, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he suspected there was no way to get out with both of them alive. “To prove I’m better than you!”

There had to be some loophole, right? Akira had cheated death several time, and Akechi had probably done the same. Maybe they could cheat death just one more time?

“Here… I’ll show you… who I really am… Come, Loki!”

The moment the name left Akechi’s lips, a brilliantly crimson fire shot up around him. Traces of blacks and blues and reds covered him in his own deranged insanity, some sort of safety blanket perhaps. A creature of black and white manifested behind him, as Akechi’s clothes were succumbed in ash. Throughout the whole ordeal, Akechi let out a battle cry of sheer madness. Akira couldn’t bring himself to look away.

It ended, nearly as quick as it came. A uniform of blue and black stripes with a vast variety of belts clung to Akechi, a helmet of pure charcoal secured around his head.

So this… This was the real Akechi. 

Once again, Akira wondered just how fucked up someone had to be to awaken to something as peculiarly terrifying as such. And was there any chance of savior? He already knew the answer. The question was, would he answer it in full truth.

“Now, let’s see you drop dead one at a time, in front of  your precious friends!”

The battle began for real, right then and there.

Akira had been through many difficult fights, but this one may have been the most difficult of all. 

* * *

_ December 12th 2017 _

_ 9:02 pm _

 

“You ready to call it quits?”

Ryuji sighed and leaned down near Akechi, but at a respectable distance.

Akechi laid flat on the floor. Pieces of his mask had broken off, and several large gashes and injuries coated his body. Part of Akira felt awful for having to put Akechi through such damage. The other part of him reminded him that Akechi had literally tried to kill him. Twice, now, had Akechi tried to kill him. Three times if you counted the fight between Robin Hood and the one between Loki as two different fights. Four if you also counted the psychotic shadows.

Akechi struggled to bring himself to a knee. “I know… I’ve had enough.” His voice was but a rasped hiss. He turned to Akira. “...You’re so lucky. Lucky to be surrounded by teammates who acknowledge you. Once Shido confesses to his crimes, you’ll all be heroes. As for me, people will find out my past deductions were just a charade. My fame and trust will vanish.” His voice shook. This time, it was less insanity and more… The mental breakdown he had experienced had passed, and now Akechi was left to pick up the broken pieces of himself. Someone had turned off the switch, and left him to wonder “what have I done.” The shock of it was enough to drive anyone to tears. Akechi choked back a sob.

Morgana tapped his chin thoughtfully. “...I see. So you were turning people psychotic, and then solving the cases yourself. You did that by joining forced with Shido.”

Akechi nodded weakly. “In the end, I couldn’t be special…”

“Dude, you’re more than special.” Ryuji commented. He tapped the toe of his boot against the floor.

Makoto sighed. “It pains me to admit it, but your strength and wit far exceed ours. We only defeated you by teaming up. I was honestly… envious of your natural ability.” She shook her head. “It was frustrating to see how much my sister trusted you.”

Haru rested the head of her ax against the floor and leaned on it slightly. She spoke for what seemed to be the first time since confronting Akechi. She spoke with authority, like an Empress. The Empress to Makoto’s Queen, really. “I have no intention of forgiving you for what you did to my father, but. In a way, I sympathize with you.” She handed her ax to Makoto and took a few steps forward, crouched down, so that she was at eye level with him. Her silk, lavender glove pushed lovingly at his chin, like a mother helping an injured child. “I wholeheartedly understand wanting to get back at the adults who took from you. All of us understand that feeling.”

Akechi visibly tensed, nearly knocking her hand away.

Yusuke crossed his arms, and refused to make eye contact with Akechi. Something told Akira that Yusuke was still internally fuming.

“But when you gained the power to fill that desire, to get back at the adults who have wronged you, you used it only for your self benefit.”

Futaba made a vague symbol towards Yusuke, signalizing her agreement with his statement. “If you have the power to use multiple personas, you probably have the same talents as Joker. BUt because you went through life all alone, the power you awakened was fueled by lies and hate. Still, you thought that was enough, right? I totally get that part.”

“You excelled at everything over us, and yet that was the one thing you lacked.” 

Ryuji sighed, exasperated. He turned to Akira. “Alright, let’s go back and get everything ready.”

Ann held a gloved hand out to Akechi. “It would be a problem if you kept getting in our way. Wanna come along and help us settle things?” She met Akira’s gaze out of the corner of her eye. Akira nodded once to show his approval. At that point, his approval wasn’t really necessary.

Akechi widened his eyes. “Are… are you all idiots? You should get rid of me if you don’t want me getting in your way.”

Yusuke began to unsheath his katana. Queen pushed it back and lightly hit the back of his head.

“You are all truly beyond my comprehension.” Akechi chuckled weakly.

At that point, another figure approached. Tall, slim, shaggy hair, cold dead eyes…

Are you fucking kidding.

Another goddamn Cognitive Akechi.

Akira had to resist the urge to bang his head against the wall until his brain stopped working.

The cognitive version of Akechi  withdrew his gun from his belt and aimed it at the real Akechi. Briefly, he acknowledged the existence of the rest of the team. “I’ll deal with the rest of you later.” Everything about him was stiff and robotic. A lifeless husk… In the end, Shido really was just pulling the strings. Akechi was nothing but a marionette. The cognition turned his attention back to Akechi. “Captain Shido’s orders. He has no need for losers. This just moves the plan up a little. He was going to get rid of you after winning the election, anyway. Did you truly think you would be spared after all the murders you undertook?” There was a beat of silence. “Don’t tell me… You were actually feeling good about having someone rely on you for once? The captain says it’s time to receive your retribution for causing the mental shutdowns.”

Ryuji withdrew his pipe. “What the hell, man?! That bastard’s the one who put ‘im up to it!” Ann and Akira had to hold Ryuji back. There was something oddly satisfying about Ryuji attempting to stick up for Akechi, especially after hating him for so long.

Akechi-- the real Akechi-- forced himself to stand. “I see… I was wondering how he’d protect himself if I used my power to tear through his palace. Turns out, you’re how. He’s making a puppet kill me. Sounds just like something he’d do.” A hint of amusement tinged at his voice. 

Cognitive Akechi nodded. “That’s right. I’ll do anything.” He snorted, which was strange considering he couldn’t even seem to speak in any other way except for a singular flat, automated tone. “But look at yourself. You’re the true puppet here. You wanted to be acknowledged, didn’t you? To be loved? You’ve been nothing but a puppet from the very beginning.”

“So this is how Shido thinks of Goro Akechi… It’s horrible… ” Makoto let out a weak breath of air and hid her face in Haru’s shoulder. Haru held her girlfriend with one arm, her other arm clutching her ax. Sweet, but deadly. Truly what everyone should strive for in a relationship, so Akira thought. In any other situation, he may have even found that interaction endearing.

“It’s still not too late. We can change his heart together. Even if he’s your father. No,  _ because  _ he’s your father.” Haru directed. She’d make an incredible leader herself, someday.

An army of shadows spawned all around the group, surrounding both Akechis, real and fake.

“No… he’s not alone. He-- he has shadows too.” Ann clung to her wip like a child clinging to a teddy bear, or a woman holding her purse.

“Here, I’ll give you one last chance.” Cognitive Akechi was sickly sweet, yet completely electronic.  _ “Shoot them.” _

“I was such a fool…” The real Akechi withdrew his gun from his belt. He pointed it at Joker, square between his eyes, just like in the interrogation room. For a moment there, Akira could almost feel the cops beating him senseless. And then…

“Don’t misunderstand.  _ You’re  _ the one who’s going to disappear!” Akechi turned the gun onto his cognition. Before anyone had a chance to react, he fired it, shooting the other Akechi square in the chest. He fired his gun once more, between the group. The bullet cut through the air like a knife through butter, and somewhere in the distance something shattered-- glass, maybe?-- and then--

And then… A barrier. Loud sirens, the voice of some shadow blaring through the speakers, and a metal wall separating Akechi and his other self from the rest of the Phantom Thieves.

Ryuji slammed his fists on the wall, as if that would help break it down. “Akechi!”

“Hurry up and go.” Akechi’s voice was muffled through the metal.

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?” Ann squawked. 

“You should have abandoned me a long time ago. You would have all perished if you had tried to face these with me weighing you down.” Something heavy hung low from those words.

Akira nudged Ryuji out of this way. “Not this again. We’re going to help you, okay? Just hang tight!” The panic was slowly but surely rising. An oncoming tidal wave, a gentle breeze before the wind picked up, the noise of a bomb descending before the inevitable impact, the--

“Joker, let’s… Let’s make a deal, okay? You won’t say no to this, will you?” Everything Akechi said was strained.

Those magic words… they got Akira every single time. A deal with Goro Akechi, huh? Now that was an interesting thought. “Yes, okay, anything. What are your conditions, Akechi?”

Yusuke grabbed Akira’s shoulder. “Why at a time like this?”

Akira shook it off. “Just hear him out. What is it? What are your terms?”

“Change Shido’s heart in my stead. End his crimes. Please!” Akechi begged. 

Akira nodded fervently before realizing Akechi couldn’t see him. “Yes, okay! I will, I promise. We’ll change his heart and make him repent for everything he’s ever done. For what he’s done to you. For what he did to your mother. We’ll change his heart.”

With that, there was nothing more. 

Two gunshots, clear as day, fired. There was no mistaking that they were gunshots. 

Someone’s hand was on Akira’s wrist, and someone was pulling him along. Someone was yelling something, towards him, towards the group, but none of it was registering. Everything was happening too fast, too soon, and, and, and…

Goro Akechi was dead. He had died by his own hand, so that the rest of them could change Shido’s heart.

* * *

_ December 13th 2017 _

_ 12:34 am _

 

**Titanic**

 

**Panther:** so…

**Skull:** soo…

**Noir:** So…

**Oracle:** soooo

**Fox:** ...

**Panther:** so… that… happened.

**Panther:** i’m really not too sure of what to say…

**Skull:** wats there to say? akechi died to save us

**Oracle:** yeah… that… happened

**Noir:** Are you ok, futaba-chan?

**Oracle:** ill be alright

**Oracle:** it just hurts a bit right now

**Noir:** It always hurts at first. Eventually, the pain fades away a bit, but your memories of them still remain.

**Skull:** it just

**Skull:** it sucks ass

**Skull:** i mean we spent all this time hatin him nd in the end he saved all of our asses

**Skull:** how are we supposed to even feel abpuot that

**Oracle:** im going to be honest here

**Oracle:** even after all of that i still dont know if i can bring myself to completely like akechi

**Oracle:** hhhh i know that sounds bad but just hear me out

**Oracle:** i understand his reasonings and yea he saved us in the end but 

**Oracle:** that was only after he lost his mind and tried to kill us

**Oracle:** not to mention what he did to my mom

**Oracle:** all of that time of my life spent locked away hating myself for what happened to her

**Oracle:** only to find out hes the one responsible for it all

**Oracle:** i understand him but

**Oracle:** hhh nevermind sorry

**Oracle:** should i feel bad for thinking like that

**Joker:** Absolutely not. Futaba, you should never apologize for your emotions. 

**Joker:** You have every reason to feel that way. What Akechi did was something truly horrible that you can’t just be forgiven for. Things like that can never be undone.

**Noir:** Futaba-chan i completely understand. I feel the same way about it.

**Noir:** Akechi killed my father, and after that i can never forgive him, but in a way i do pity him. After seeing him after we had to fight him, part of me wants to forgive him, but deep down i know that i can’t. It’s not because i don’t want to, because i do, it’s just another part of me physically cannot forgive him. He’s caused so many problems and stress in my life, and i don’t think i will ever be able to look past that. I may not ever have grown to like him as a person, i did appreciate him as a teammate, and i pity him for all the struggles he went through, to lead him to becoming the person we saw back there. He, and his life, are a tragedy, and i wish he could have found help before it got so bad.

**Queen:** That is perfectly okay, Haru. You have every right in the world to feel that way. In fact, one could argue that you may be the stronger person.

**Noir:** Thank you. I will admit, there is another part of me that wants to hate him, but i could never find it in myself to be so cruel. I hated him for what he did, but i know why he did it. 

**Queen:** We understand.

**Noir:** What do you think about all of this, mako-chan?

**Queen:** Me?

**Queen:** Well.. Honestly, I’m still just as conflicted about it as the rest of us. If Akechi lived, he would never have been able to take back any of the horrible things he did. Crimes like that can never go unpunished, and had he survived he would have had to atone for everything he did. In a way, he is absolutely a terrible person. But, seeing just what made him that way, I think there’s a side of him that none of us would ever be able to fully comprehend. In the end, the reason we’re alive is because of him. I am thankful for everything he’s done for us, and I owe him my life.

**Skull:** uhh no pun intended?

**Panther:** GHJKL;

**Queen:** No… No pun intended.

**Skull:** honestly after all that

**Skull:** i cant bring myself to hate the guy

**Skull:** it wont take one tramautic event for all the history of the past to be erased but had things been different maybe we coulda become some kind of friends

**Skull:** _ maybe _

**Panther:** i have to agree with ryuji on this one… you can’t change or alter the past but you can learn from your mistakes and try to use them to become a better person. i think, in the end there, he really did want to become better.

**Fox:** Everything about this situation is a rather “gray” area. Akechi has committed many terrible acts that he would never have been able to properly atone for, but in the end, his passing was so the rest of us could finish the mission and continue on his story. Whether he died a hero or not… It’s hard to say.

**Joker:** That’s… right. I don’t think there’s any other way to talk about it. I’m not just agreeing because I’m biased, either.

**Oracle:** what about you akira

**Joker:** Huh? What about me?

**Oracle:** what are you thinking right now

**Joker:** This a share circle?

**Oracle:** enlighten us

**Joker:** Alright, I guess I can do that.

**Joker:** Well, I think Akechi was completely fucked up in ways that none of us could ever begin to understand. I thought our group was mentally fucked, but the main difference is that we were able to reach out and find people who could help us. Akechi never had that option. He never had anyone to rely on, and wasn’t able to grasp for help when he so desperately needed it. I think he went through shit that no living person should ever have to go through in their lives. All of that shit screwed with him psychologically, probably tortured him day and night. I think that because of that, his morals and sense of right vs wrong was all screwed up.

**Joker:** I also think that what Akechi did was absolutely unforgivable. No amount of praying would ever be able to make up for the sick and twisted shit he did, the shit he put others through. I think that somewhere, deep down, Akechi just wanted to be accepted by someone. He wanted approval and someone to show him the love and affection he never received. I think he wanted to be, well, wanted.

**Joker:** I think Akechi was fucked up in every which way to Sunday. He made so many horrible mistakes that he could never properly make up for, but in the end, I think he made the right decision. He sacrificed himself so that we could continue, and for that, I am entirely grateful. If things had been different, well… Maybe in another life we could have met earlier. 

**Skull:** holy shit…

**Oracle:** oh

**Panther:** wow…

**Noir:** I think… akira is right.

**Queen:** I think Akira is absolutely right.

**Joker:** Akechi was never truly one of us, but if he had lived, I believe that maybe he could have become officially one of us. Akechi would have made a great Phantom Thief, don’t you think?

**Fox:** Yes. Had he lived, he would have been an excellent addition to the team.

**Skull:** ^

**Panther:** ^

**Oracle:** ^

**Noir:** ^

**Queen:** …^ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH WOW THIS TOOK A LONG TIME TO FINISH I'M SORRY GUYS.  
> Seriously, I'm sorry. These past few weeks have been incredibly busy and honestly really rough weeks for me. My motivation for writing has been lacking lately and just everything is insane right now. I'm trying to make as much time for writing as possible but please understand I have other commitments as well. I've been working on college stuff lately, as this is my last year of high school and by this time next year I will (hopefully) be a university student. On top of that, I have homework, work, my grades and a huge ass project that I have to complete or I don't pass.   
> Sorry if this chapter is... lacking, as I mention before I hit a bit of a writer's patch. I did try to pull through and piece together something good.   
> OH YEAH I TOOK THE TIME TO EDIT THE FORMATTING A BIT WHAT DO Y'ALL THINK IT TOOK ME AN HOUR TO EDIT ALL 46 FUCKING CHAPTERS :))  
> Fun fact: I've had that text conversation at the bottom planned since literally the very beginning of the fic (maybe around chater 4-8??). That is, almost word for word, what the first and only other draft said.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818  
> yall i might start adding other links to places you can come and say hi if you want because tumblr is currently fucking itself over


	48. group lobster therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: Ann :(  
> Panther: no i don’t know you

_December 14th 2017_

_9:46pm_

 

**Titanic**

 

 **Joker:** The group has been dead for almost 12 hours now

 **Joker:** This is the most silent the chat has ever been.

 **Joker:** Which would be fine except I'm still stuck in an attic and I'm bored out of my mind

 **Joker:** Morgana has been the only one keeping me company. I'm so bored. Futaba just didn't show up today.

 **Joker:**  Listen, I get that we’re all still… mentally stunted right now but you don’t have to just stay silent or anything. We’re all really conflicted right now, and this situation is frustrating. In a few days is the election, and hopefully Shido should confess sometime before then. This is the last time we’re ever going to just sit back and worry like this. After this, we… I… will finally get the sweet vengeance we’ve been after. Anyone who has ever fallen victim to Shido will finally get to rest peacefully knowing the asshole dictator who put them in that position is behind bars.

 **Queen:** That is true. There’s many people who have fallen victim to that man. Only few have been openly talked about or acknowledged but we all know there are more. I only hope we can give these people the courage they need to step forward.

 **Joker:** Hell yeah, that’s what I like to hear Makoto.

 **Joker:** This wasn’t just for me. This was for Akechi and his mother, the woman he was harassing, Futaba’s mother, all those mental shutdown victims… Anyone and everyone who he ever used as a step stool to better himself.

 **Fox:** Isn’t that the whole reason the Phantom Thieves were initially formed? To finally bring justice to these rotten adults who have made others suffer so that they themselves may thrive?

 **Queen:** That’s exactly it, Yusuke. That is why I joined, and I think that’s why most of us joined.

 **Joker:** Yeah. That’s exactly what we were trying to do. Everyone we have ever targeted has been as a result of their corrupt actions and their treatment of others.

 **Panther:** yeah exactly

 **Panther:** what kamoshida did to shiho… i’ll never forgive him for that. he is the lowest of the low, and deserved every bit of punishment he got.

 **Panther:** not only shiho, but the volleyball team and track team… to ryuji and… to me

 **Joker:** He was drowning others so that he could make it across unscathed. Madarame, Kaneshiro and Okumura all did the same things.

 **Joker:** They were scumbags, and as Phantom Thieves, our job was to take them down. Even once our job is officially complete, we still need to remember just who we are. There will always be another corrupt adult and another person suffering as a result. It’s awful to think about it, but it’s just the cold hard truth. As long as we can live knowing we made some difference in the world, I think that has to stand for something.

 **Fox:** No matter what, there will always be toxic behavior in this world. We cannot help everyone in that regard. I wish we could, but unfortunately it’s just not possible. We have done our best, and even after we are no longer Phantom Thieves we are still able to do some things over here in reality that can hopefully make life easier for the victims. Not everyone can always be saved.

 **Queen:** It’s a hard truth to accept, but you’re absolutely right. We’ve done all we can and we will continue to help in any way possible.

 **Panther:** whatever it is we can do to help

 **Joker:** Exactly. Never again will we lose sight like we did with Okumura. It’s not about fame or recognition, nor has it ever been. We’re here to help in any way we can.

 **Joker:** Anyways, Ann how’s Shiho?

 **Panther:** she’s doing great right now. she’s so strong and supportive of everything.

 **Joker:** How long has it been now?

 **Panther:** about 7 months!

 **Joker:** You doing anything big for your anniversary?

 **Panther:** no, we’re waiting until our year anniversary before celebrating

 **Joker:** That’s sweet. I hope the best for you guys

 **Panther:** thanks!

 **Skull:** uh

 **Skull:** hey guys?

 **Skull:** sorry to break up the mood but uh i guess i got smth u should know

 **Joker:** Yeah?

 **Fox:** What is it?

 **Skull:** dammit… i prolly shoulda said smth sooner but didnt really kno how to bring it up

 **Queen:** Did something happen?

 **Skull:** i mean

 **Skull:** kinda

 **Fox:** Just say it, Ryuji.

 **Skull:** my mom knows were phantom thieves

 **Skull:** well

 **Skull:** she knows akira ann nd i are phantom thieves

 **Panther:** what?!

 **Joker:** How did this happen?

 **Skull:** durin the shido callin card ig she managed to make out my voice through the distortion

 **Skull:** the silhouette matched up nd i didnt come home until real late nd was all covered in bruises nd shit

 **Skull:** she was real worried about us

 **Skull:** she managed to make out akira nd ann through the silhouette nd akiras voice wasnt distorted

 **Skull:** she understands nd is on our side. she said she aint gonna say anythin to the police. i promised her we didnt kill nobody nd well… she aint too happy to find out this way but shes proud of us

 **Queen:** I…

 **Queen:** Sorry. This is a lot to take in right now.

 **Fox:** So how many people is it that know, Akira?

 **Joker:** hEY WHY ARE YOU SINGLING ME OUT?

 **Fox:** Are you really asking this question?

 **Joker:** Damn.

 **Joker:** Okay well. Shiho, Mishima, Hifumi, Sojiro, Ms Sakamoto (apparently), uhh pretty sure our drug dealer and weapon dealer suspect I’m a phantom thief, my teacher, Sae Niijima,  uhhhhhh

 **Joker:** I think that’s it? Maybe?

 **Skull:** _dude_

 **Queen:** Akira…

 **Joker:** Okay liSTEN

 **Fox:** Akira it’s getting to be a problem.

 **Joker:** THEY ALL FOUND OUT THEMSELVES OKAY

 **Joker:** THE ONLY ONE I TOLD WAS SOJIRO. AND SAE TECHNICALLY BUT SHE FIGURED IT OUT THE MINUTE SHE STEPPED IN THE INTERROGATION TOOM

 **Joker:** SHIHO AND RYUJI’S MOM WEREN’T MY FAULT

 **Panther:** SHIHO WASN’T MY FAULT EITHER SHE FIGURED IT OUT FOR HERSELF

 **Joker:** Also yeah I guess it’s fine as long as she doesn’t rat us out to the police. At this point it doesn’t matter too much though.

 **Skull:** alright if ur sure

 **Skull:** i figured i should,,,probably tell u guys

 **Joker:** Yeah. We appreciate that.

 **Skull:** wait howd kawakami find out

 **Joker:** Don’t worry about it.

 **Fox:** How, exactly, did Hifumi find out? And in turn, find out I am also a Phantom Thief?

 **Joker:** _Don’t worry about it honey haha I love you._

 **Fox:** That’s not going to help you in the slightest.

 **Queen:** More importantly, just how did so many people find out Akira?

 **Joker:** _Haha don’t worry about it really it’s all good._

 **Queen:** Akira.

 **Joker:** whOOPS GOTTA GO UHH WALK MY CACTUS BYE

 **Skull:** he dont even have a cactus

 **Fox:** Is that really what concerns you about that statement?

 **Skull:** i mean

 **Skull:** if ur gonna lie at least make it believable

 **Skull:** maybe if he said he was gonna walk his bamboo plant itd make more sense

 **Queen:** What world do you live in where people walk their plants?

 **Skull:** im not sayin people walk their plants im just sayin akira dont have a cactus plant so even if ppl did walk plants it wouldnt make any sense

 **Fox:** Ryuji…

 **Skull:** im just sayin

 **Queen:** I…

 **Queen:** I’m going to go. I think that statement gave me a headache.

 **Skull:** seeya makoto

 **Fox:** Goodbye.

* * *

  


_December 15th 2017_

_5:10 pm_

 

**Titanic**

 

 **Oracle:** can someone tell ryuji and akira to sTOP CHEATING AT ARENA ULTIMAX

 **Skull:** uh button mashing isnt cheating futaba smh

 **Joker:** We’re playing fair and square Futaba, you just don’t like how we play.

 **Oracle:** BUTTON MASHING ISNT HOW YOU PLAY YOU PRICKS

 **Queen:** I don’t understand. What’s happening?

 **Fox:** How, exactly, are they cheating?

 **Oracle:** THEYRE BUTTON MASHING THATS NOT HOW YOU DO IT

 **Joker:** There’s no rule against it.

 **Fox:** Aren’t you supposed to play the game by pressing the buttons?

 **Oracle:** i mean

 **Oracle:** technically yes but

 **Oracle:** the game tells you what buttons and what combinations to use

 **Oracle:** bUTTON MASHING IS NOT HOW YOU ROPERLY PLAY

 **Skull:** nothin says u cant button mash

 **Oracle:** UGH

 **Joker:** She’s just mad because Ryuji and I are absolutely kicking her ass right now.

 **Oracle:** FUCK YOU

 **Oracle:** STOP GANGING UP ON ME FUCKERS

 **Joker:** We’re just playing the game :))

 **Skull:** yea :))

 **Oracle:** i hate you both so much

 **Queen:** I still don’t entirely understand. Explain to me how button mashing is cheating.

 **Oracle:** UGH

 **Oracle:** ok so

 **Oracle:** to play the game you memorize the different buttons and combos

 **Oracle:** certain combinations and certain move sets can only be achieved with certain characters

 **Oracle:** for example ai is the only one who can summon athena

 **Oracle:** and yuki is the only one who has a fan for a weapon

 **Oracle:** depending on the character the same combo might yield different results

 **Oracle:** part of the fun is learning the different combinations

 **Oracle:** it’s about quick thinking and reaction time

 **Oracle:** BUTTON MASHING TAKES AWAY FROM THAT PART

 **Joker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Skull:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Queen:** Aren’t you still just pressing buttons, though?

 **Oracle:** makoto

 **Oracle:** do you even understand

 **Oracle:** just how offensive that statement was

 **Oracle:** do you know just how many hours i have poured into this game

 **Oracle:** experimenting

 **Oracle:** with each and every character

 **Oracle:** figuring out just what works best for me

 **Oracle:** how much money i have spent

 **Oracle:** for random dlcs that add almost nothing

 **Oracle:** i have the murderer from the og game as my announcer

 **Oracle:** and you can use him in battle

 **Oracle:** and theSE ASSHOLES HAVE COMPLETELY DISREGARDED THOSE EFFORTS

 **Joker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Skull:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Joker:** She’s mad that we’re winning.

 **Oracle:** YEAH I AM

 **Oracle:** SO MUCH TIME SPENT JUST TO BE UPSTAGED BY TWO ASSHOLES MASHING RANDOM BUTTONS

 **Oracle:** AKIRA YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE GAME IVE WATCHED YOU DO IT BEFORE

 **Joker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Oracle:** UGH

* * *

 

_December 16th 2017_

_8:12 am_

 

**Ryuji Sakamoto → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **RS:** dude do u still have those lobsters u got at the beach

 **YK:** I do.

 **YK:** Why do you ask?

 **RS:** u actually kept those things

 **YK:** Of course. Why wouldn’t I?

 **RS:** u can hardly afford to care for urself how have you managed to keep them alive for about 4 months now

 **YK:** Da Pinchi and Masanobu are my pride and joy, of course they’re alive.

 **RS:** wait u named them da pinchi and masanobu

 **YK:** Leonardo Da Pinchi and Kani Masanobu, yes.

 **RS:** uhh

 **RS:** those r some weird ass names dude

 **YK:** They’re art puns, Ryuji.

 **YK:** After the artists Leonardo Da Vinci and Kano Masanobu.

 **RS:** i got da vinci but

 **RS:** gdi

 **RS:** anyways not the point

 **RS:** do u ever just have therapy sessions w ur lobsters dude

 **YK:** Excuse me?

 **RS:** u kno, just rant to them about how shitty everything is

 **RS:** growin up i used to have a dog, this small pug, that i would just vent to sometimes

 **RS:** i dont think she knew wat i was sayin but it helped relieve stress nd made me feel less alone

 **YK:** Not usually, no. Maybe sometimes.

 **RS:** alright but considering all the shit thats been happenin lately

 **RS:** group lobster therapy

 **YK:** Group lobster therapy…?

 **RS:** group lobster therapy

 **YK:** You are aware they are lobsters, right? They are not trained therapists and have no way to properly communicate with humans.

 **RS:** ik dude but ranting to lobsters is much cheaper then real therapy

 **RS:** that shits like 20000 yen a session

 **RS:** nd after this i think we could all use a little therapy

 **YK:** You may be right about that last part…

 **RS:** group lobster therapy

 **YK:** Fair enough. Group lobster therapy.

* * *

 

_December 16th 2017_

_4:43 pm_

 

**Titanic**

 

 **Panther:** akira and i can no longer be friends

 **Joker:** Now that’s just petty.

 **Noir:** Oh no! What happened?

 **Panther:** he likes pineapple on pizza

 **Joker:** _Pineapple on pizza isn’t that bad._

 **Panther:** _we are not friends anymore_

 **Joker:** Ann :(

 **Panther:** no i don’t know you

 **Noir:** What’s so bad about pineapple on pizza?

 **Panther:** haru have you ever had pineapple on pizza? it’s awful

 **Joker:** It’s good you’re just wrong

 **Panther:** _no one asked you traitor_

 **Joker:** :(

 **Noir:** I’ve never thought to try it. It’s very rare I ever have pizza.

 **Joker:** You poor, deprived child who hurt you

 **Panther:** don’t try pineapple on pizza it is absolutely nauseating

 **Joker:** It really isn’t…

 **Joker:** @Everyone Thoughts on pineapple on pizza?

 **Skull:** uhh it ain’t bad but not my favorite thing in the world

 **Panther:** and suddenly i do not know anyone by the name of ryuji sakamoto

 **Skull:** wow

 **Queen:** Pineapple on pizza? I’ve never tried it.

 **Noir:** Mako-chan, maybe sometime we can go together and try it? If we don’t like something we can get something else but it seems like it could be fun.

 **Queen:** Oh, that sounds fun. I would love to.

 **Joker:** Ha gay

 **Queen:** That’s funny coming from you, Akira.

 **Joker:** Got me there.

 **Oracle:** pineapple on pizza is absolutely awful and i will fight anyone who says otherwise

 **Panther:** THANK YOU FUTABA

 **Panther:** SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS

 **Oracle:** OH MY GOD I HATE PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA

 **Panther:** I KNOW RIGHT?!

 **Oracle:** akira i no longer know you

 **Oracle:** ryuji youre going to have to find someone else to play overwatch with you i would never play overwatch with a normie who eats pineapple on pizza

 **Skull:** WOW

 **Fox:** I don’t care for the taste but if it’s cheap and high in calories I’m fine with anything.

 **Joker:** OH MY GOD

 **Joker:** WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU ATE SOMETHING

 **Fox:** …

 **Joker:** FUCKING COME TO LEBLANC RIGHT NOW

 **Joker:** YOU NEED TO FUCKING EAT I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO STARVE

 **Fox:** I’m fine, Akira.

 **Joker:** NO COME HERE RIGHT NOW I WILL MAKE YOU SOME FUCKING CURRY

 **Fox:** I wouldn’t want to impose.

 **Joker:** NO THIS IS NOT UP FOR DEBATE

 **Joker:** FUCKING COME TO LEBLANC

 **Oracle:** hey akira can you make me some curry

 **Joker:** You know what sure.

 **Joker:** YUSUKE FUCKING COME TO LEBLANC

 **Fox:** Fine. I’m on my way.

 **Joker:** :) <3

 **Panther:** that’s gay

 **Joker:** you’re gay

 **Panther:** got me there

 **Skull:** and there it is

* * *

 

_December 16th 2017_

_1:58 pm_

 

**Hifumi Togo → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **HT:** for-akira.img 

**HT:** I managed to take this picture of Kitagawa-kun. I figured you might like to see it.

 **AK:** Thank you I appreciate it.

 **AK:** Look at him,,, so focused on his art. He’s so adorable I swear.

 **AK:** That’s my new phone background. Thanks I love him.

 **HT:** You’re welcome. I thought you might enjoy it.

 **AK:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 **HT:** What?

 **AK:** Normally you’d respond with ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

 **HT:** I see…

 **HT:** By the way, are you available for another match later today? I have a few strategies that I would like to test out before my next tournament.

 **AK:** Sure thing. I’ll stop by the church tonight. In return, I would appreciate more pictures of my boy.

 **HT:** Understood. I’ll see what I can do for you.

 **AK:** Bless.

* * *

 

_December 16th 2017_

_7:24 pm_

 

**Titanic**

 

 **Noir:** The election is in two days…

 **Queen:** We have still heard nothing of Shido.

 **Panther:** i guess come the election we’ll find out if it worked or not

 **Panther:** just thinking about it makes me nervous

 **Queen:** We did everything correctly this time. I’m almost positive we managed to change his heart.

 **Noir:** We’ll just have to wait and see

 **Panther:** hey, maybe if it’s ok with akira we can meet up at leblanc and watch the election results that day. find out together what happened

 **Queen:** As long as Akira and Boss are okay with that, then that sounds like a good idea to me.

 **Noir:** Agreed!

 **Panther:** @joker what do you think? december 18th, we all meet up at leblanc and watch the results play out together?

 **Panther:** akira??

 **Panther:** guess he’s not answering

 **Queen:** He’s probably busy.

 **Panther:** i guess so. whatever, he’ll see the notification later

 **Noir:** I’ll be honest, i’m actually pretty nervous for this one. This was a major target for us.

 **Queen:** We’re all pretty nervous here. Shido… he’s one target we cannot afford to mess up. And in the end there, things definitely took a turn for the worst.

 **Panther:** that’s putting it lightly…

 **Panther:** i thought ryuji… was dead for a little while. i feel kind of bad for slapping him after

 **Queen:** That was a scary moment for all of us. He’s an important part of this team. Not only that, but he’s our friend. He means a lot to all of us. We’re lucky we didn’t lose him, given the reckless act he performed so that the rest of us could make it out. Had he died…

 **Panther:** i’m just so relieved he’s not dead.

 **Noir:** Me too…

 **Panther:** on a lighter note, i’m still laughing about the fact that the entire time we were fighting shido we just had “my heart will go on” playing in the background

 **Queen:** I still can’t believe Futaba did that. The entire time we were in Shido’s palace, it was just a mix of “My Heart Will Go On” and “Take Me Home Country Roads.”

 **Panther:** both of those songs were stuck in my head for actual weeks

 **Queen:** Mine, too.

 **Noir:** It was really fun though! Helped to keep things a little more light hearted, wouldn’t you say?

 **Panther:** yeah i can definitely agree with that one.

 **Panther:** akira summoning his weird penis persona while “aaand you know that my heart will go on” just blares in the back. i think we nearly killed ryuji and futaba with that one

 **Queen:** I have never seen Ryuji’s face so red before. It took him a moment before he could even properly laugh.

 **Noir:** Well, thinking back on it, it was really funny. Had i not been as busy in battle as i was, i might have been laughing as well.

 **Panther:** the timing was just too perfect

 **Queen:** I really hate that persona…

 **Panther:** which one? the dick chariot?

 **Queen:** Must you be so vulgar?

 **Queen:** Yes, that one.

 **Oracle:** thats cause youre gay makoto

 **Noir:** Oh, hello futaba-chan!

 **Oracle:** hey

 **Queen:** That’s…

 **Queen:** Okay but I’m not the only one who hates that persona.

 **Oracle:** his daddy kink persona? yea that one is kinda gross

 **Panther:** akira has a lot of strange personas…

 **Oracle:** ya there was the weird devil on a toilet

 **Panther:** the angel in bondage gear, the slave cat girl, the nearly naked devil lady…

 **Oracle:** the goblin with a stinger for a dick

 **Panther:** i forgot about that one… and for good reason

 **Oracle:** some of those personas are really kinky

 **Oracle:** wonder if hes trying to tell us something :3

 **Queen:** Futaba!

 **Noir:** Oh…

 **Panther:** at this point i wouldn’t be surprised…

 **Oracle:** based on his personas what do you think hes into >:3

 **Queen:** You are all aware he will see these messages later, right?

 **Oracle:** good were kinkshaming him

 **Noir:** Well, based on the one in the chariot, he may have a thing for size…

 **Oracle:** size queen?

 **Oracle:** makes sense

 **Queen:** Haru! Not you too…

 **Panther:** i mean…

 **Noir:** Hmm… His personas are a part of him. Or does he take some traits after obtaining certain personas?

 **Panther:** i don’t know. his abilities are weird

 **Oracle:** its probably a mixture of both. the shadows dont form to take after him specifically but personas are someones true self

 **Oracle:** on that note he probably takes some traits from his personas and his personas take some traits from him

 **Oracle:** weird to think about

 **Queen:** You do raise a good point, Futaba. If I had to guess, you’re probably right. It would be a mixture of both to keep everything at equilibrium.

 **Oracle:** exactly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? A chapter on time for once? I know, crazy right? I wanted to get this out before Saturday because I need to work all day Saturday, and my dumbass decided to procrastinate until I managed to throw most of this shit onto a page in one sitting. It's not proofread because I'm exhausted and lazy, we die like men here. Let me know if you see any awful typos and I'll fix it eventually.  
> Y'all we are really approaching the end of the timeline here. We still got a good chunk of time left, but pretty soon this is going to come to a close. Hey, maybe if y'all want it, I'll write something that takes place after this that's just them fucking around.  
> ~JN
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @jnoah818  
> since tumblr is uhhh gonna fucking annihilate itself dec 17th y'all can hmu on twitter too: @jnoah818 
> 
> also yes i headcanon that ryuji used to have a dog fucking come at me and try to pry this shit from my cold dead gremlin fingers


	49. in this house we love and appreciate ryuji sakamoto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fox: Why would you ever feel the need to share that with us.  
> Oracle: this knowledge had to be known

****

_ December 17th 2017 _

_ 8:19 am _

 

**Titanic**

 

**Skull:** the election is tomorrow

**Skull:** wat r the chances hell be elected

**Joker:** Pretty high. It’s an almost guarantee win for him. Public opinion seems to have… hardly changed, even after all of that.

**Noir:** What are the chances his change of heart will have taken affect by then?

**Joker:** Also pretty high. Tomorrow we’re meeting up at Leblanc to watch it together, right?

**Joker:** It’s likely he will confess to everything during the announcement tomorrow. If that’s the case, then they’ll have to hold him in custody until everything is cleared up. Given all the people he has wronged and all the crimes he has commit, he’ll be found guilty and be arrested for it.

**Skull:** so wat happens then

**Joker:** The Phantom Thieves officially disband and we live normal lives, I guess. Just because we can’t change hearts anymore doesn’t mean we disappear, or the bonds we made will disappear.

**Noir:** You’re right, akira-kun. Just because our job is over doesn’t mean that we have to cut off contact. This group means the world to me, and i never want to lose any of you.

**Skull:** ^

**Joker:** Well said.

**Joker:** As for right now, all we can really do is wait until tomorrow. After that, we’ll figure out where to go from there. 

**Skull:** jus like we always do?

**Joker:** Just like we always do.

* * *

 

_ December 18th 2017 _

_ 7:39 pm _

 

As to be expected, Shido won by a landslide. Akira was barely able to suppress an enraged groan at that.

How could a man so vile also be so well liked? It made no sense. Then again, in a way, Akira was biased. Shido had permanently fucked up his life. Who was to say how many others had been fucked over by Shido. Not that that made Shido any less awful, but it certainly gave Akira more reasons than he already had as to why he hated Masayoshi Shido.

Shido stood upon a stage with a microphone in his hand. The scene played out on the tv set in Cafe Leblanc. 

_ “That is why… I cannot forgive myself.” _

Akira straightened his spine. He had found himself in one of the booths, right next to Yusuke. Makoto and Haru sat across from them. Once the words had been uttered, a loud cheer rang through the cafe.

So the change of heart had worked. Their final target had been effectively taken down. All in a day’s work, Akira supposed.

_ “The reason President Okumura passed away is because… I am the one that killed him.”  _ Shido spoke with a heavy shame weighing down on his words. Akira spared a glance at Haru, who nodded once in approval. Never once did she remove her gaze from the screen.  _ “I also manipulated the information. That it was the Phantom Thieves responsible for the series of mental shutdown incidents. That they were responsible for President Okumura’s passing. The one who controlled the hearts of others and gave rise to the countless victims was me. It was all for my own promotion, for my own selfish gain.” _

Akira swallowed. There it was, the truth of the incidents. Justice had never tasted sweeter.

Shido continued on with his speech.  _ “I’ve even used people’s lives as stepping stones in order to claim this country as my own ship.”  _

A collective stifled giggle ran out throughout the group. Akira resisted the urge to hum a few bars of “My heart will go on.”

Shido hung his head in shame.  _ “I am a true criminal that can be tried for any crime, and it still would not be enough. I will confess everything. Please, I beg everyone to pass judgement on me.” _

“Okay. You’re guilty and a scumbag.” Akira muttered. Yusuke laced his hand with Akira’s and offered a reassuring squeeze. 

The speech continued on. Something about Shido atoning for his sins through death, some chaos among the crowd of those watching live, followed up by a commercial break.

A few looks were shared through the group. Pure narcissistic confidence from Futaba, ecstatic relief from Ann, childish honor from Ryuji, satisfying victory from Haru…

Akira allowed himself to be swept up in the sudden rush of pride. They had done that, huh? Somehow, the eight of them had managed to defeat truly the most evil man to have ever deceived the population of Tokyo.

Ryuji laughed loudly.  _ “Hell yeah!” _

Futaba laughed along. She sniffled and rubbed underneath her eye. “I got to avenge my mom. And it’s all thanks to… everyone.” Her voice shook a bit. Tears pricked at her eyes a bit. “Thank… thank you.” She leaned over the backrest of the booth she sat at, directly behind Akira, and hugged him from behind. A soft sob was allowed to escape from her. 

“Hey, you helped, too.” Akira commented. With his free hand he reached up and pat her arm gently. “We would never have gotten this far if you hadn’t been there to help.”

“That is true. Had we never met you, Futaba, we would still be dealing with the consequences of Medjed. Er, the ‘other’ Medjed.” Yusuke added.

Ann shuddered. “Or… we’d have been arrested.”

“That too.”

Futaba wiped the tears away from her face and a weak smile traced at her lips. “Y-yeah! We did this together.”

Haru lifted her coffee cup to her lips and took a sip, then set it back down. “I was able to settle a debt in regards to my father as well.” There was no denying the absolute look of pure satisfaction that settled over her.

Makoto traced circle’s on the back of Haru’s hand with her thumb. “We all worked so hard for this.” She turned her attention to Sae, who stood at the bar with a cup of coffee in her hands. “Shido is guilty, right, Sis?”

Sae considered this. “It will be… difficult to prosecute him immediately, but I’ll do this thoroughly until the causality between his other crimes can be proven. I believe Wakaba Isshiki’s research results could potentially save Japan.” 

Ryuji leaned forward in his bar stool. So far forward he nearly slipped off his seat. “We could testify too, you know.”

Sae allowed for a wry smile. “Thank you, but I’ll be fine. I wouldn’t want to add any more unwanted suspicion onto any of you. It’s about time you let us adults prove that we can get our act together.”

Sojiro leaned across the bar and signalled to Akira. “What about this guy’s education?”

“I believe it will be fine for him to return to school.”

Akira sank lower in his seat. Ditching school was nice, but hanging out in the attic all day got pretty boring sometimes. “Oh thank God, I thought I was losing my mind locked in here all day.”

Futaba groaned. “Who’s gonna play video games with me while you’re at school all day? That’s so lame.” 

Akira chuckled. “You’ll survive. Besides, pretty soon you’re going to be at school, too. You’re enrolling in your first year this spring, yeah?”

She made a face. “Yeah, I’ll do it.” She made a noise, somewhat resembling a keyboard smash. Somehow. 

Sae’s phone rang loudly. She set down her glass and examined the screen. “I need to go. It seems Shido’s been transferred to a hospital.” She stood up and shouldered her purse. “Oh, and one more thing. It’s fine to celebrate, but keep it in moderation, okay? All of you need to start taking your education seriously again, especially now that Kurusu is being allowed back to school.” Without another word she left the cafe.

“That’s right. Exams are coming up soon.” Makoto noted. 

_ Fuck.  _

Akira pushed Futaba’s arms away from where they were wrapped around his throat and dropped his head to the table with a loud “thud.” “Do I  _ have  _ to take my exams?”

Makoto shot him a razor sharp look of warning. “If you plan on remaining as under the radar as possible, yes. What did we just say about taking our education more seriously?”

“But  _ Makoto  _ I’ve been  _ dead.”  _ He stretched out her name, like a child begging his mom to buy him a candy bar. “How can I study when I’m only now coming back to life?”

“You look perfectly fine for a dead guy.” The glare she gave was enough to send most men running in fear.

He barely suppressed a shiver. “Fine, fine, I’ll study.”

“Oh, I took some notes for you! Remind me and I’ll give them to you tomorrow.” Ann offered. She flicked one of her pigtails over her shoulder. “They might not be very good, but at least I try to pay attention.”

Ryuji sputtered, nearly spilling his soda in the process.  _ “Hey!  _ I never said I don’t pay attention! I try… sometimes.”

Akira snorted and leaned his head on Yusuke’s shoulder. “Ann’s handwriting is actually legible. I think I’ll stick with her notes.”

Ryuji sputtered once more. Yusuke pushed Akira’s head off his shoulder, followed by Akira whining. 

Yusuke let go of Akira’s hand and instead began doodling on a blank page in his sketchbook-- did he bring that everywhere he went? Wouldn’t be surprising in the slightest. Various other conversations began to pick up throughout the cafe. Sojiro had disappeared into the back, while Ann and Ryuji continued to bicker frivolously. Makoto and Haru were lost within their own conversation, pleasantly engaging in small talk and exchanging soft cheek kisses.  _ The most pleasant married couple in the world… _ Akira thought. If only they were actually married.

Akira rested his head on Yusuke’s shoulder once more and peeked over at the small doodle. It wasn't anything too extravagant, really, just dark pen lines on fine paper. 

Yusuke said nothing, allowing Akira to watch. Staccatic movements across the page, stray undefined marks in their place. Akira listened to the sounds of Yusuke breathing, his steady heartbeat, felt the rise and fall of his chest. A substantial calm washed over him. 

So this was his life, huh? Somehow, through all the dumb and reckless decisions he had ever made, it had all lead him to that moment. All the palaces, waiting, deaths and betrayal, rumors, blackmail… everything else that had happened during the chaotic eight months Akira had been in Tokyo, all of it had lead to that moment. Sitting in one of the booths at Cafe Leblanc, watching Yusuke Kitagawa-- his boyfriend, he reminded himself-- sketch, while the rest of his team went about in their own domestic ways. Even Morgana and Futaba were bonding for once. Morgana sat on top of one of the benches while Futaba tapped away at her handheld game console. Morgana asked her a few questions about the game she was playing, which she happily replied to. 

Haru leaned forward and kissed Makoto lightly. Makoto turned several shades of pink. 

“Ha. Gay.” Akira teased.

Haru beamed. “Just as it should be.”

He made finger guns in her general direction. “You got that right.”

Domestic, huh? That was one word Akira had never thought would describe his team. Turns out, behind all the chaos and constant threat of arrest, they could be pretty damn domestic sometimes. Life was funny like that.

* * *

_ December 19th 2017 _

_ 8:16 am _

 

**Ann Takamaki → Ryuji Sakamoto**

 

**AT:** hey

**RS:** hey

**AT:** i never took the time to properly apologize to you

**RS:** uh wut

**AT:** after shido’s palace.

**AT:** what you did was really brave. reckless, but brave. thank you for helping us out like that

**AT:** we thought for a moment there that you had died. we didn’t see you leave the metaverse, and there was that insane explosion where you were hanging. after all the smoke cleared out you were gone so…

**RS:** oh uh

**RS:** well i didnt die

**RS:** im still here

**RS:** i just wanted to help you guys out. the team has done so much for me u kno? i wanted to return the favor

**RS:** u guys have saved my ass more times then i can count 

**AT:** you’ve done a lot for the team too

**AT:** do you remember back before we could get into kaneshiro’s palace, how makoto was taken by some of the gang members to meet with kaneshiro? you jumped in front of a moving taxi so that we could get to her as fast as possible. we never properly thanked you for that either.

**RS:** we had a job to do nd we had to do it fast. was just tryin to help out

**AT:** thank you. you really helped us out there

**RS:** y r u thanking me for all this now? its realy not that big of a deal 

**AT:** i was just thinking about it. we were all really worried. you’re part of the team. you’re my friend, of course i’m going to worry about you.

**RS:** thanks

**RS:** sorry im just tryin to process this

**RS:** that… really means a lot to me ann

**AT:** it’s the truth.

**AT:** even if i don’t say it often enough, you mean a lot to me.

**RS:** u mean a lot to me to

**AT:** on a side note, akira just flopped down in his seat put morgana inside his desk and then slammed his head as hard as he could.

**RS:** HGJKL;

**RS:** UH WHY

**AT:** he says he’s not used to getting up this early anymore.

**RS:** rip

**AT:** i told him we have exams starting tomorrow and he slammed his head twice as hard. i heard morgana yelp in surprise.

**AT:** the kid behind him looks terrified

**RS:** that kid is the real mvp tbfh

**AT:** i know, right? i’ve watched akira do some really shady things that the kid behind him can absolutely see, and yet he says nothing about it

**RS:** wats that kids name anyway

**AT:** i… have no idea. i just call him kid with green pencil case. 

**AT:** he definitely knows about the cat in akira’s desk and has definitely witnessed akira making lockpicks under his desk

**RS:** wonder if hes seen any of our pt texts

**AT:** i hope not but at this point i wouldn’t be surprised.

**RS:** hes witnessed too much

**AT:** and somehow we’ve yet to be arrested.

**RS:** at this point the entire school prolly knows akiras a phantom thief

**AT:** given the time period he was out and how “convenient” it matched up with the phantom thief leader’s fake death and the changing of shido’s heart… a lot of people probably assume he’s one but don’t have any definite proof of it. still, the timing is… real convenient.

**RS:** too convenient to ever be considered a coincidence

**AT:** looks like it’ll just have to be ruled off as one, though. no one has any definite proof, anyways.

**RS:** yea

* * *

 

_ December 20th 2017 _

_ 3:32 pm _

 

**Titanic**

 

**Joker:** Do nyall ever think about the fact that at one point we had to get Futaba out of the closet?

**Joker:** Well… except Haru. Sorry Haru, you weren’t there yet.

**Oracle:** im sorry wut

**Fox:** Akira, what are you going on about?

**Joker:** Remember how her treasure was hidden behind a door that we could only access if we were let in her bedroom? 

**Oracle:** oooh really?

**Oracle:** that makes a lot of sense actually. my room was my palace so in order to get into the treasure one would have had to alter my cognition. at the time i didnt like anyone ever going into my room but thats where my treasure was. and i was the treasure.

**Joker:** Exactly. That’s why we needed access to your room. To you. So we could gain access to the treasure room.

**Oracle:** interesting 

**Oracle:** i wish i could have seen more of my palace 

**Joker:** We’re still not sure how long someone can stay in their own palace before it gets fucky. Sae was in her own palace for a while and it was fine though, so it seems like it’s okay?

**Oracle:** hmm maybe

**Joker:** Anyways, not the point. Futaba you were hiding in the closet when we got there.

**Oracle:** dont remember didnt happen

**Joker:** Don’t quote Voltron at me you gremlin.

**Oracle:** no >:3

**Fox:** Well, she was hiding in the closet… What does that have to do with anything, exactly?

**Joker:** Futaba is there something you want to share with the group?

**Oracle:** um

**Oracle:** yes actually

**Joker:** Wait what.

**Oracle:** squidward has a maid kink

**Fox:** I’m sorry?

**Fox:** I would like it to be known that Akira just spit coffee everywhere.

**Joker:** Don’t out me like this.

**Oracle:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYyq-_u2w9A ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYyq-_u2w9A)

**Oracle:** spongebob walked in the room and squidward asked why he wasnt in uniform

**Oracle:** spongebob then showed up in a maid dress

**Oracle:** squidward has a maid kink

**Fox:** Why would you ever feel the need to share that with us.

**Oracle:** this knowledge had to be known

**Joker:** I…

**Joker:** I think I need to lie down. 

**Fox:** You just broke him.

**Oracle:** he was already broken

**Panther:** [ disgust.gif ](https://media.giphy.com/media/UiuOMYkRxG836/giphy.gif)

**Joker:** pFFT HI ANN

**Panther:** futaba why would you tell us that

**Oracle:** its important

**Panther:** ugh i didnt want to think about that…

**Oracle:** it had to be known

**Joker:** I was… just trying to make a gay joke what the fuck Futaba.

**Oracle:** >:3

**Oracle:** get fucked akira >:3

**Joker:** Wow. Okay.

**Joker:** I was… not expecting this to go in the direction of Spongebob porn. What in the fresh hell, Futaba. 

**Fox:** That’s…

**Joker:** Really fucking weird.

**Oracle:** you asked if i had anything to share and i did

**Oracle:** squidward has a maid kink you are all welcome for this information

**Panther:** ugh…

* * *

_ December 21st 2017 _

_ 5:19 pm _

 

**Futaba Sakura → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

**FS:** yo 

**FS:** did you have exams today :\

**YK:** No. Exams were last week for us.

**FS:** thank fuck im so fucking bored right now

**FS:** youre an artist

**YK:** That I am. 

**YK:** Why do you mention it?

**FS:** tell me whats wrong with this picture

**FS:** tentacleshjejk.img

**YK:** Why would you ever feel the need to send that to me.

**FS:** just tell me whats wrong with it

**YK:** You mean aside from the fact that she is being penetrated with a tentacle?

**FS:** ignore that

**FS:** ignore the porn

**FS:** whats wrong with the art

**YK:** For one, the shading is completely off. If the lighting is coming from the top left then the shadows should not be coming from that angle. It’s completely unrealistic and such an idiotic mistake. Light does not reflect like that, and shadows are not casted like that.

**FS:** ok what else is wrong

**YK:** Perhaps this is just a nitpick, but the line art is wrong. Personally I would have colored in the lines instead of leaving it black, but if that’s just part of the artist’s style then I understand. However, the lines are much thinner where they intersect with other lines. They almost branch off, and in some cases are nearly completely disconnected. You cannot have that with artwork. Where lines intersect is where they should actually be thicker. Not too thick as to where it looks like it was drawn in crayon, but it should be thicker in that area.

**FS:** jesus christ

**FS:** anything else wrong with it?

**YK:** For the most part, no. Their art style is unique, but there is definitely room for improvement. There’s always more room for improvement, I suppose.

**FS:** ok what about this one

**FS:** furrrry.img

**YK:** I have several questions.

**FS:** just tell me whats wrong with this

**YK:** Futaba, that is actual pornography. That’s not even a drawing.

**FS:** so?

**FS:** whats wrong with it inari :\

**YK:** The lighting is also an issue in this one. The way the light is positioned, his shadow is in the way. It’s to be assumed the viewer would wish to see her face, and what is… being done… to her. His shadow blocks that. Not to mention, her hair is in her face. Given the situation that’s not a surprise, however it still blocks the view of her face. 

**YK:** Akira just looked over and saw that on my screen. 

**FS:** FGHJKL

**FS:** hi akira

* * *

_ December 21st 2017 _

_ 5:25 pm _

 

**Akira Kurusu → Futaba Sakura**

 

**AK:** You want to stop sending my artist weird porn? You’re corrupting him.

**FS:** bitch your artist probably draws weirder porn on a daily

**AK:** No he’s a good boy he would never.

**FS:** he drew mpreg for me

**AK:** ...You asked him to.

**FS:** he also drew buff sonic

**FS:** did you see that drawing

**AK:** …

**FS:** buffsonicwtfinari.img

**FS:** see

**AK:** ...I fucking hate that.

**FS:** >:3

**AK:** I married a stranger.

**FS:** when tf did you get married

**AK:** Uhhh

**AK:** Shido’s palace. Probably.

**FS:** makes sense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to say I'm not sorry in the slightest.  
> This shit ain't proofread we die like men here.  
> ~JN
> 
> tumblr: jnoah818.tumblr.com  
> twitter: @jnoah818


	50. how the phantom thieves saved christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fox: “Lobster telephone” does not represent feederism, stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not sure if this is really necessary but i'm putting it anyways just in case  
> tw: implied/referenced anxiety

_December 22nd 2017_

_12:38 pm_

 

**Titanic**

 

 **Joker:** So has… anyone else noticed the lack of talk of the Phantom Thieves as of late?

 **Queen:** I’ve noticed… Today I overheard someone mention that Shido just has some psychiatric problems and that’s why he had a sudden change of heart.

 **Skull:** thats bullshit! we were the ones who changed his heart

 **Fox:** At school today someone looked over and noticed me drawing the Phantom Thief logo, and made a comment about how he “hadn’t heard of them in a long time.” He then proceeded to talk as if it was all made up, and we were all insane to think otherwise.

 **Panther:** i overheard some girls talking after exams today and she said that shido was still the best candidate for prime minister we have

 **Noir:** Last night a few okumura foods employees were talking about shido before the meeting started. They were saying all sorts of things about shido’s mental state, even going so far as to make excuses for his actions…

 **Oracle:** its sickening

 **Oracle:** ive been doing some research online. the phansite has been completely dead minus the occasional comment about how the public was foolish to think we ever really existed

 **Oracle:** people are really still campaigning for shido even after he admitted to being behind the mental shutdowns

 **Panther:** akira, what’s morgana’s take on all of this?

 **Joker:** Morgana said it isn’t good. The entire country still thinks Shido’s completely innocent, even going so far as to erase memories of us. If this keeps up, who’s to say what will happen…

 **Queen:** Hey, do you think it might have something to do with Mementos?

 **Skull:** mementos? wat r u talking abt queen

 **Queen:** Think about it. The entirety of Tokyo, perhaps even Japan as a whole, is completely brainwashed right now. They think that Shido is still in the right and are completely ignorant of our existence. And Mementos…

 **Joker:** Mementos is the public cognition. Makoto, you’re a genius.

 **Joker:** Morgana said you might very well be exactly right there.

 **Noir:** Should we look into this, akira-kun?

 **Joker:** Not yet… There’s still some things I wanna check out first. Futaba?

 **Oracle:** im on it

 **Joker:** Thanks gremlin.

 **Oracle:** (~_^)b

* * *

 

_December 23rd 2017_

_8:14 pm_

 

**Titanic**

 

 **Fox:** h34n940sagNhGp836.img 

**Fox:** Ryuji and Akira decided to buy a random dinosaur themed rug from the shop around the corner, and I no longer wish to associate with these two.

 **Queen:** Oh…

 **Panther:** where’s futaba in all of this?

 **Fox:** She enabled it.

 **Fox:** They’ve decided to put the rug in a random corner upstairs. This is truly the most vile thing I have witnessed from these two.

 **Oracle:** you agreed to the rug

 **Fox:** I agreed only because they would do it anyways. I did not intend for them to _put it in the corner of the room._

 **Oracle:** inari u left out the snowmen they bought random snowmen too

 **Fox:** I don’t want to think about the snowmen.

 **Panther:** what snowmen?

 **Queen:** What is happening over there?

 **Oracle:** ryuji and akira also bought two random snowmen and have them both pointed at akiras bed

 **Oracle:** snowmen.img 

**Queen:** That is… terrifying.

 **Panther:** imagine waking up to have two creepy plastic snowmen staring at you. that’s horrible…

 **Oracle:** inari refuses to talk to any of us right now :\

 **Joker:** What’s wrong with the snowmen, Yusuke?

 **Panther:** oh no…

 **Oracle:** art rant pt3

 **Queen:** Part 3?

 **Oracle:** yep

 **Oracle:** actually wait

 **Oracle:** i think this is pt5

 **Oracle:** pt3 was the feederism lobster phone

 **Panther:** the what

 **Fox:** Everything is wrong with the snowmen you purchased. For one thing, the material it was made from is flimsy and cheap. It is a terrible material that is difficult to work with and one wrong move could cause it to absolutely break. Secondly the colors are completely off. None of the colors work together at all. They completely clash in a way that physically hurts to look like. It looks like a toddler picked out the color pallet. Thirdly the way it was made. The craftsmanship is poor and was hastily thrown together. The artist took no time with it and just threw the colors down without a second glance. There’s clearly no more than one paint of coat on it, and all the paint cracks very easily. That’s not even mentioning the fact that there is no place in Leblanc’s attic where you could put them and they wouldn’t stand out. Those snowmen are awful.

 **Fox:** “Lobster telephone” does not represent feederism, stop.

 **Joker:** Holy fuck I love you.

 **Fox:** I don’t know who you are.

 **Joker:** :(

 **Skull:** damn dude

 **Fox:** Futaba just put the dinosaur rug on the stairs. I no longer know any of these people.

 **Oracle:** wow rude :\

 _~_ **_Joker_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Dinosaur Rug Kin_ ** _~_

 **Fox:** That name is awful.

 **Joker:** Ily <3

 **Fox:** You’re dead to me.

 **Joker:** _:(_

* * *

 

_December 23rd 2017_

_10:49 pm_

 

**Dinosaur Rug Kin**

 

 **Joker:** So tomorrow we’re going to explore the depths of Mementos. It appears that seems to be where we can find the source of this public distortion.

 **Queen:** Right. Directly after school tomorrow we will all report to the hideout. We have one final job we must take care of.

 **Panther:** it sucks to think that after this… there will be no more metaverse.

 **Oracle:** no more personas either

 **Noir:** No more palaces…

 **Skull:** no more calling cards

 **Queen:** No more Phantom Thieves.

 **Joker:** We planned to end it at Shido, and we are going to end it at Shido. Before we can completely take out our target, we have just one last mission.

 **Fox:** The entirety of Japan, apparently.

 **Joker:** I mean

 **Joker:** Yeah

 **Joker:** I was going to say the depths of Mementos but

 **Joker:** Yeah pretty much.

 **Queen:** We only have tomorrow to go through this entire palace.

 **Skull:** will that b enough time for us

 **Skull:** usually we get at least a week befor we have to change their heart

 **Queen:** It will have to be enough time. It doesn’t matter if we need more or not, we only have until Christmas Day. It will have to be tomorrow.

 **Oracle:** oh yeah tomorrow is christmas eve

 **Oracle:** merry crysler

 **Skull:** murry crisis

 **Panther:** guys focus

 **Noir:** We can do this. We’ve been through a lot together as a team. As phantom thieves, it’s our job to take down those who are corrupt.

 **Fox:** Still, to think the entire country is corrupt due to the rising of just one vile man. Shido truly has left his mark…

 **Skull:** we gotta do this ig

 **Joker:** One last time.

 **Panther:** i wonder what will face us once we make it to the depths…

 **Joker:** Who’s to say. We’ll just have to find out.

 **Queen:** It’s unsettling to think about…

 **Joker:** We can do this, Makoto. All of us will be there for it.

 **Joker:** One more heist?

 **Queen:** Yes. One more heist.

* * *

 

_December 24th 2017_

_9:57 pm_

 

To say the depths of Mementos had been unsettling was an understatement. After fighting off hordes of penis chariots, maneuvering through red glowing tentacle branches, solving puzzles that were just straight up frustrating, and discovering Morgana’s birth place, somehow they had made it into the Velvet Room. Of all places, Akira had not expected the Velvet Room to exist down there.

Well. Then again. “A place that existed between mind and matter.” Mementos seemed to fit that description pretty well.

They had all gotten their asses handed to them by the Big Ass Cup of Tentacles that existed within the depths, and after all that, Hell had broken loose and Akira had woken up on his bench in the Velvet Room. Igor had turned out to be the chaotic god “Yaldabaoth,” who’s name was quite frankly too complicated to properly pronounce, Caroline and Justine had fused into a little girl named “Lavenza” like something straight out of Steven Universe and Akira had been allowed a one on one conference with each of the Phantom Thieves, who had all been scattered across the Velvet Room in individual cells. Deep down, even after everything they had all been through, it seemed they were all still broken. Trying to pick up the pieces and put them back together, yes, but still broken.

The cherry to really top it off was Mementos fusing with reality. That had been a complete and utter mindfuck. As a result, the Phantom Thieves had simply disappeared. According to public cognition, they didn’t exist anymore, anyways. Maybe that had been the straw to break the camel’s back. That had been what completely shattered the Phantom Thieves rebellious spirit. Wasn’t that the spirit that had initially manifested into a persona? Something about seeing all of them just completely destroyed, internally and externally… Akira shuddered just thinking about it.

Of course, they didn’t remain that way. All of them had found the strength required to stand up to authority the first time. Second time around had been less physically painful. That didn’t mean it had to hurt any less.

After all was said and done, Akira was left to absolutely annihilate a God. A God that used sin as a means of attack. Seriously, “lust”? Who knew that someone could be made so unbearably horny for a time that they couldn’t attack or defend themselves. That was one experience Akira had not wished to ever undergo or witness. The hell kind of attack was “lust”? Still, hearing some of the comments made would have been funny in literally any other situation.

Either way, the Phantom Thieves still won the fight. They won after Akira awakened to the most badass persona he had ever seen and managed to shoot God in the fucking face. Maybe adding “Begone, thot” before putting a monstrous sized bullet through whatever Yaldabaoth’s equivalent of a skull had been a bit of an overkill. Akira never said he wasn’t a little Extra. It wasn’t every day you got to beat the fuck out of a god. They punched God in the face and then Morgana faded into dust like something straight out of Infinity War. That one… hurt a lot actually. Mr. Stark, Morgana’s not feeling so good.

_And that’s the real story of how a bunch of criminals saved Christmas._

The team stood just on the outskirts of central street in a circle, a bit cult-like in Akira’s opinion. No one dared say anything, and instead just… mourned. Morgana had sacrificed himself. All jokes aside, he had really just up and vanished into thin air. Just as soon as he learned who he really was, he disappeared. Life was cruel like that.

Ann was the first to speak. She toed the cracked sidewalk with a boot and shoved her hands into her pocket. “Morgana…”

Morgana’s sacrifice had been a noble one. All this time, this entire year had been spent with Morgana at his side. Had Morgana never showed them the Metaverse or how it all worked, the Phantom Thieves never would have come to be. They never would have awakened their personas, never would have changed the heart of some of the most corrupt people Akira had ever come to see, never would have saved those who needed it… It had all been incredibly worth it in the long run, but none of it would have happened in the first place had Morgana never taken the role of their mentor.

Haru pulled her phone out of her coat pocket and clicked it on. “The Meta-nav… It’s gone.” Her voice was but a low whisper. “Mementos must have disappeared, too.”

Futaba bit her lip harshly and tugged at the sleeve of Akira’s jacket. “We… we can’t see Mona anymore, can we.” Her voice shook.

Akira sighed. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into an awkward hug. There really was no way to answer her question. Morgana was gone, and that was all their was to it. Who knew if they would ever see him again. Outlook, not so good.

She buried her face in his chest. “It’s fine. I already know.” Her voice was muffled against the fabric.

Ryuji rubbed the back of his neck and cussed under his breath. “What are you all so gloomy for? Mona would laugh at us for this.” He commented. Well, it was true… Morgana would have scoffed and made some sort of snarky comment. Morgana was nothing if not snarky.

“What about the public? Were we able to change their hearts?” Yusuke commented.

The public was just going about its business, as per usual. People were running in all sorts of directions. Comments of “I’m going to be late for my date” and “All alone on Christmas, huh?” could be heard from some of the people passing by. Had Akira not witnessed Mementos turn into what could only be described as a living hell, he would have thought everything really was just normal.

Ann shrugged. “It’s kind of hard to tell, don’t you think?”

Haru hummed in response and reached over to link her hand with Makoto’s. “I wonder how things will go from here on out. I hope they turn out well.” Haru said.

Makoto gave her girlfriend’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Let’s believe in the adults, let them prove their worth. Sis promised us, after all.”

“From here on out, it’s the prosecutor’s job, huh?” Ryuji said.

Yusuke made a face. “If we can’t enter the Metaverse, that means we’re officially relieved as Phantom Thieves.” A million different emotions seemed to cross over him, before finally he threw back up his usual stone wall of stoic. “I suppose we all saw that one coming.”

Akira pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and smirked. “I told you we would all go out with a bang, didn’t I?”

Futaba chuckled and pulled her face away from his chest. “Well, that certainly was a bang. What, with Big Boy shooting God in the fucking face.” She snickered some more. “‘Begone, thot.’ That was really Extra, Akira. What a show off.”

“Please don’t refer to Satanael as ‘Big Boy’ ever again.”

She stuck her tongue out at him. He returned the gesture.

“I will say, though, the experience certainly provided a whole wealth of inspiration.” Yusuke flashed Akira the slightest of smiles. “I can only hope one day to capture the likes.”

Akira grinned. “I’m all yours, baby. I’ll even model for you if you like. Need me to strip?”

Futaba made a gagging noise. “Gross. It’s like catching your parents making out. At least wait until the rest of us leave before you jump his bones, Akira.”

Yusuke rolled his eyes. Akira laughed and pat the top of Futaba’s head. “I never said anything about that, but now that you mention it…”

“Stop right there.” Yusuke stated. Akira laughed again.

Ann shook her head and pulled her bomber jacket tighter around herself. “Brr, it’s chilly…”

Snowflakes fell from the sky in a way that Akira could only compare to cherry blossoms, like in one of those dumb romance animes that Futaba was so into.

“It’s still Christmas Eve. I believe this is what they call a white Christmas.” Makoto said. “Anyhow, we’ll just have to see what happens from here on out. We should probably break for the day.” She turned to Akira. “Let’s meet at Leblanc tomorrow, and have a final meeting.”

Akira nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

“Hey, it’ll be Christmas tomorrow, so why don’t we have a final celebration party?” Ann commented. She rubbed at her eye slightly.

Ryuji nodded enthusiastically and clapped her on the back. “I like the sound of that! There better not be anyone who has plans already.”

“I’ll try to convince Boss to let us reserve Leblanc for the party. I’m sure Futaba will help me, right?” Akira commented. Lightly he nudged at her.

She groaned. “Fiiine, I _guess_ I can do that.” She adjusted her headphones and turned to address the group. “I’m worried about Sojiro, so I’m going to go home. See you guys tomorrow.”

The group broke apart for the night.

A celebration party… It seemed like they hadn’t had a real celebration party since the beach and Medjed’s defeat. Destinyland had ended… badly, the school festival had resulted in blackmail from Akechi, and Shido had resulted in a chaotic God and a big ass cup. Literally. Maybe a Christmas party was exactly what they needed.

Akira stood in the station square. All that work…

Many sacrifices had been made. A lot was said, a lot was done, several fights were won… In the end, they still couldn’t be completely sure it worked. So far, it seemed to have gone well. Maybe. After that Yaldabaoth fight, Morgana had just… disappeared. A small hole had been drilled into Akira’s heart.

“I didn’t expect to find the world’s savior all alone on Christmas Eve.”

Akira looked up. Sae Niijima approached him with an amused look. Sae Niijima… in the past month or so, they had gone through a lot together. Interrogation had been fun.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Akira shrugged. “I don’t see why not. What’s on your mind, Niijima-san?”

“First off, I must thank you. With your actions, I can only hope that the public opinion will change. It will change, won’t it?” She raised an eyebrow.

“We did all we can. At this point, all we can do is wait.” Akira shrugged once more. He shoved his hands into his jean pockets.

Sae nodded. “On that note, Shido confessed to a variety of crimes. We can arrest him on those charges. The problem, however, lies with proving him guilty…”

_Uh oh._

“It’d be difficult unless the correlation between the Metaverse and mental shutdowns is made. Akechi, who perpetrated those crimes, has gone missing. You’re the only one left who can testify.”

Akira shook his head. “Akechi hasn’t gone missing. During Shido’s palace we ran into him and…” Thinking about it was another knife in Akira’s chest. “But that’s besides the point. What are you getting at here?”

Sae took a moment to process that. It was her turn to shake her head. “Well, I’ll be blunt. I want you to turn yourself in to the police.”

It took every ounce of willpower to avoid jumping in shock. Akira’s eyebrows shot up. He scanned her for any trace of humor, any sign that she could possibly be joking. No such sign existed.

“Turn myself in? Why?” Akira asked in a hushed tone.

Sae tugged at the end of a strand of silver hair. “Your testimony will be necessary in order to prove Shido guilty. However, that will mean placing you on center stage. You’ll be treated as a hero who saved this country, but there’s no way the police or public prosecutors will let that slide. They’ll lose face to you and the rest of the Phantom Thieves. If that happens, there’s no telling what they’ll do to you or your teammates. There’s even the possibility they’ll fabricate a crime and move to arrest you all.”

Akira sneered. The mere thought of it left a sour taste in his mouth. “Talk about corrupt…”

“They’re bitter and ignorant. There’s no telling what a man who is bitter will do to extract vengeance.” Sae sighed. “If you turn yourself into the police, they’ll definitely arrest you. There’s also your past record. The police and prosecution will strike there. They’ll treat your arrest as ‘grave misconduct’ and revoke your probation. You’ll most likely be sent to juvenile hall and place in solitary confinement. They’ll be content as long as they get testimony without the Phantom Thieves being seen as heroes.”

She must have noticed the hesitance on Akira’s face, as she was quick to tack on “That should guarantee the safety of your teammates. Or, rather, I’ll make sure it’s guaranteed. I’ll close all the cases surrounding Shido. I tend to expose them all. It’s to prevent society from becoming distorted again. Isn’t that what you want?”

Well… she was right about one thing. His job as a Phantom Thief was to change those who were distorted. If there was someone with a twisted, heart, he was left to steal it. No matter what, in the eyes of the criminal justice system he was still seen as the villain. The entire team was considered villains. If doing this one thing meant they were completely safe and away from the reach of the police, well, then perhaps… Perhaps it was worth it. Besides, if turning himself in meant that scumbags like Shido were permanently behind bars for all the damage they’ve done, it was definitely worth the time in solitary confinement. As unsettling as it was, it had to be done. Really, it was a no brainer. To save others, sometimes sacrifices had to be made. That’s what Morgana had done.

Sae’s mouth quirked into a dry smile. “It’s almost like a final deal between us.”

Akira returned the dry smile. “In that case, I suppose I can’t refuse. You know me too well.”

“Will you do it?” Sae asked. Her eyes were glossy.

Akira’s mouth was dry. “If it means I’ll save my teammates… then lock me up for as long as needed. I don’t care what happens to me so long as you promise me they are completely safe.”

“I had a feeling you would say something like that. Thank you. I promise, your teammates will be safe.”

She signalled for him to follow her. “All right, let’s go.”

At that moment, Akira’s phone buzzed from in his back pocket.

* * *

 

_December 24th 2017_

_10:10 pm_

 

**Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **YK:** I can’t get what happened today out of my mind. All of this distortion was caused by the work of a God. I wouldn’t believe it had I not been there.

 **YK:** If you haven’t gone home yet, I was wondering if perhaps you might like to spend a little more time together?

 

* * *

 

_December 24th 2017_

_10:11 pm_

 

Akira stopped dead in his tracks. “I… I need a little more time.”

Sae raised an eyebrow. “Is something the matter?”

“Yusuke, I…” He swallowed. “I need more time.”

Sae deadpanned. “...Very well. I’m assuming it must be important. You can turn yourself in tomorrow morning.”

Akira agreed.

“Make it count, Kurusu.” She said. “Now go, see your boyfriend.”

 

* * *

 

_December 24th 2017_

_10:12 pm_

 

**Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AK:** It’s really hard to believe. I haven’t gone home yet if you want to hang out at Leblanc with me for a little bit. I’d be willing to sacrifice everything for you.

 **YK:** Sacrifice? That’s a little much, isn’t it?

 **YK:** Very well. If it’s not a problem then I’ll be sure to stop by.

 **AK:** Please do. I’m dying to see you one last time.

 **YK:** Akira, you’re acting strange. Is something wrong?

 **AK:** No, it’s nothing.

 **AK:** Just come by, okay?

 **YK:** I’ll see you soon, then.

 

* * *

 

 

_December 24th 2017_

_10:29 pm_

 

Akira rested his head against Yusuke shoulder, his heart sinking lower and lower with each moment. He’d have to tell Yusuke about what happened, wouldn’t he? That he had to turn himself into the police?

Dammit… Sometimes being the leader sucked ass. Then again, it was for the greater good of his team. Morgana had a tendency to act like the leader a lot of the time, but he was only doing what was best for the team as well. In a way, he was Akira’s second in command.

Akira nuzzled his head against Yusuke’s neck, similar to that of a cat. Yusuke ran slim fingers through locks of unruly dark hair. Akira would have been tempted to give in had the guilt of the situation not been eating him up inside.

Yusuke’s sketchbook sat closed in his lap. With deft fingers, Akira slowly reached towards it. “This okay?”

“My sketchbook?” Yusuke raised an eyebrow. “I suppose it would be okay for you to look through it. I’ve used up nearly all the space in this one. Pretty soon I’m going to have to start looking into getting a new one.”

Akira lifted the sketchbook and began flipping through the pages. Rough outlines of the human body, testing out its movements and limits, a few doodles of various features, several sketches of potential logos for the Phantom Thieves, and…

And a sketch of Akira. Akira, behind the counter at Leblanc, serving coffee to one of their regular customers. Akira in the Metaverse, his mask held in his hand, sly Joker smirk across his face. Akira nearly falling asleep against Ann’s shoulder during one of their Phantom Thief meetings. A sketch of Akira and Ryuji screwing around on the swings that time they had gone to the playground, Akira and Futaba playing video games, Akira and Haru drinking coffee in one of the booths downstairs, Akira…

“Woah… you sure draw me a lot.” Akira noted. His heart skipped a beat. “Do I really mean this much to you?”

Yusuke audibly swallowed. “My… apologies. You weren’t supposed to see that. Do you find that weird?”

 _No. Never._ Akira thought. Yusuke, will all his eccentricities, was completely emotionally stunted. He had mentioned before that his artwork was a way to help cope with that and show what he was really thinking. Akira had seen bits and pieces of his artwork during Madarame’s palace, and at the time a lot of it had just radiated anger, frustration, ice cold abandonment and bitter hatred. Akira supposed everyone needed an emotional outlet, and part of Yusuke’s happened to be his art.

Instead of answering, Akira leaned forward and captured Yusuke’s lips in his. Who knew when the next time Akira would get the chance to kiss him like that. Solitary confinement… thinking about it sent a violent shiver up Akira’s spine.

Yusuke tensed, clearly taken aback. If Akira didn’t know any better, he’d guess that there was a light blush across Yusuke’s face. _Adorable…_

Akira drew back and brushed a lock of Yusuke’s hair to the side. “‘Weird’? Well, yeah, it’s a little strange, but strange doesn’t automatically mean it’s bad.” Akira’s chest was light, his head swimming with thoughts of Yusuke. It was almost like a drug. “I’m actually beyond flattered. It just shows me what you really think of me.”

He leaned forward to kiss him again. This time, he was met halfway.

Kissing Yusuke was always so intoxicating. The way they perfectly meshed, like two gears, it was almost perfect. Inhaling his scent, acrylic paint and cheap cologne, it was superb. _He_ was superb. From the beginning, Akira should have known he was in over his head. Somehow the choices he had made in his life had lead him to the moment he first met Yusuke Kitagawa. The moment he had joined the team. The moment Akira had first realized he was in love. In another timeline, maybe things could have been different. Akira wasn’t sure he ever wanted to live in such a world, nor was he sure how he lived without Yusuke beforehand. Perhaps that was the best part of being arrested in the first place: he had had the chance to meet Yusuke Kitagawa.

Yusuke’s arms wrapped around Akira’s waist and pulled him closer. Akira never knew he could want anything more. He wasn’t sure he could remember anything, except for one word. Over and over in his mind, _Yusuke. Yusuke. Yusuke._ It was almost like a prayer.

Eventually, they broke apart, and Akira was once again reminded of the clock slowly ticking away. Hours, minutes, seconds counting down until he would be forced into a lone cell, all on his own for who knew how long. He had to make the little, waning time he had left, count.

 _I love you._ The words were sickeningly sweet. Akira had said them over text before, but never in person. The temptation had always been there, but so was the fear of chasing Yusuke away. _I love you, I love you, I--_

Yusuke shifted slightly away and reached into your bad. “I, um… I got you something.”

Was that a stutter? Yusuke, tripping over his words like that? It was almost out of character.

Akira raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know I didn’t have to, but,” Yusuke held out a delicately wrapped package. Slim, skinny, but long. If Akira had to guess, it was a canvas. What was on the canvas. “A few weeks ago I made this, and for some reason some part of me wanted you to see it. Here.”

Akira accepted the wrapped present and peeled back the wrapping paper. As expected, it was a painting. Akira’s breath hitched.

Pure black backgrounds of dark shadows and deviantly predatory eyes. Corrupt, evil, vile. In the corner, a figure of pure light. Two bodies, one just a tad taller than the other, embracing each other. Very few features defined the two bodies, but it didn’t take a genius to know who they were.

The wicked evils of the world, followed by those who made it all okay. Those who made the sick and twisted game known as life just a little more bearable.

Akira bit back the sudden rush of emotion. “Holy shit… this is incredible.”

There was no denying the fairest of pinks that brushed over Yusuke’s face. “It took several tries to get it right, and even then it feels like it’s missing something. I’m not quite sure just how to capture exactly what I’m looking for.”

Akira’s mouth twisted into the sharpest of smiles. It had been so long since he was able to smile like that. “I think you captured it perfectly.” He breathed.

The words slipped out before he could stop them.

“I love you.”

A blanket of deafening silence fell between the two of them. Akira tightened his grip on the canvas, his heart racing about a mile a minute. Did he really just say that? Dammit, was that too soon? Was it too much? Was it--

Yusuke took his bottom lip between his teeth before releasing. “What did you say?”

Too late to take it back.

“I said,” Akira swallowed audibly. “I said I love you.” He set the painting in his lap and took one of Yusuke’s hands in his. “I… I love you. I fucking love you, Yusuke. I know I don’t always show it, but goddammit I love you to a point where it physically hurts. I love you, and I want to make you as happy as I possibly can. You just mean so much to me, and the thought of ever losing you or having to live another day without you…” He shook his head. “I love you.”

Yusuke brought Akira’s hand to his lips and kissed it. Akira’s throat was dry, like eating a handful of sand.

“I love you, too.” Yusuke whispered.

Akira wasn’t sure what was more overpowering, the flood of relief or the chains of guilt tight around his neck.

Instead of responding, Akira allowed himself to kiss Yusuke once more.

The clock was ticking. Better use that limited time wisely.

 

* * *

 

_December 25th 2017_

_12:00 am_

 

**Dinosaur Rug Kin**

 

 _~_ **_Oracle_ ** _has changed the name of the chat to_ **_Ho Ho Homos_ ** _~_

 

 **Oracle:** merry christmas sinners

 **Skull:** merry xmas

 **Panther:** the new name is very fitting

 **Oracle:** @fox its you

 **Fox:** I can’t even try to deny it.

 **Joker:** I would sure hope not ;))

 **Fox:** Akira please.

 **Skull:** ho ho ho nd all that shit

 **Oracle:** hes talking about you akira

 **Oracle:** "ho ho ho"

 **Oracle:** its you

 **Joker:** Wow okay :\ I did not come here to be slutshamed.

 **Noir:** Merry christmas everyone!

 **Noir:** And happy holidays!

 **Oracle:** haru youre so pure and happy wtf

 **Noir:** Well, i don’t know about pure ;)

 **Skull:** uhhh wat u mean haru

 **Queen:** Haru please…

 **Oracle:** HOLY SHIT

 **Oracle:** HARU ARE YOU SAYING WHAT I THINK YOU ARE HSDGKJL

 **Noir:** I’ll let you decide on that one ;)

 **Queen:** _Haru please._

 **Skull:** jfc

 **Panther:** oh wow

 **Joker:** I’m glad the handful of condoms I gave out went to good use.

 **Oracle:** im actually wheezing

 **Noir:** :)

 **Panther:** how red is makoto’s face right now

 **Noir:** Very.

 **Noir:** Mako-chan is so adorable when she blushes, don’t you think?

 **Queen:** _Haru please_

 **Skull:** damn no punctuation

 **Queen:** On that note, it is twelve in the morning. All of you should try to get to bed soon. I’m going to head to bed soon, as well. Goodnight everyone.

 **Oracle:** ooh

 **Oracle:** haru shes ready for round 2

 **Noir:** ;)

 **Queen:** _GOODNIGHT EVERYONE._

 **Noir:** I think i’ll take my leave as well. Sweet dreams everyone, see you all tomorrow <3

 **Oracle:** gn haru

 **Skull:** night guys

 **Panther:** goodnight!

 **Joker:** She’s right, though. You guys should sleep soon.

 **Skull:** uh shouldnt u be asleep too

 **Joker:** False. Morgana isn’t here to yell at me to sleep so now I’m going to fuck up my entire sleep schedule.

 **Skull:** valid

 **Joker:** Hey, in case I don’t see you guys soon, I just wanna say it’s been an honor being your leader. I’m so proud of this team. Hopefully we’ve made this world just a little better, even if it’s still corrupt.

 **Skull:** uhh wats with the sudden sentiment dude

 **Panther:** are you feeling ok akira?

 **Oracle:** :\

 **Joker:** Yeah, I’m doing all right. Just wanted to let everyone know that I really care about you guys. You mean everything to me.

 **Oracle:** akira youre scaring me a bit

 **Oracle:** whats going on over there

 **Joker:** It’s nothing.

 **Joker:** I’ll see you guys tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

 

_December 25th 2017_

_12:08 am_

 

**Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu**

 

 **YK:** Akira, what’s going on. You’ve been acting strange all evening.

 **YK:** If there’s something happening please tell us. You’re our friend, we all care about you.

 **AK:** Nothing is going on. It’s just been a whirlwind of emotions all night, you know?

 **AK:** Hey. I love you.

 **YK:** Are you sure everything is okay?

 **AK:** I’m sure.

 **YK:** I’ll see you tomorrow.

 **AK:** Yeah, tomorrow.

 **AK:** Goodnight, sweetheart. I love you <3

 **YK:** I love you too.

 **AK:** <3

 **YK:** Are we doing this again?

 **AK:** <3

 **YK:** …

 **AK:** <3

 **YK:** <3

 

* * *

 

 

_December 25th 2017_

_11:02 am_

 

_“Merry Christmas everyone!”_

Ann kicked open the door to Leblanc with her foot, a giant stack of presents in her hands. She really had gone all out for this party, hadn’t she?

When it came to Christmas, Yusuke had never seen the whole appeal to it. Then again, before the Phantom Thieves, he had never seen the appeal to much, really. Outside of his work, art and school related, he had never had the option to explore such things.

It seemed… everyone had gone out, really. Ann, especially. Red and green christmas leggings, pigtails done up in one red and one green scrunchie, topped off with a sweater reading “Merry Christmas I am bisexual.” Clearly a lot of effort had been put into it. At some point Yusuke would have to look into getting a sweater like that for Akira. He would love it. Then again… that costed more money than Yusuke had. Maybe a painting would suffice?

The cafe was completely empty, aside from Sojiro and Futaba. Futaba sat on one of the barstools with her knees pulled to her chest, her face buried in her arms. Boss stood behind the counter with a look on his face that could only mean trouble. Oh no…

Makoto looked around. A red scarf was tossed around her neck, her hand linked with her girlfriend’s. “Hm? Where’s Akira?”

Futaba shook her head, not once lifting her face. No…

Yusuke approached her. “Futaba, what’s wrong?”

She made a strangled noise. Her body shook with a fierce intensity. An anxiety attack? What happened?

The group turned to Boss, who sighed. “Sit down. This might take a little bit of explaining.”

A wave of nausea washed over Yusuke. What happened now? And why?

Coffee cups were passed around. Futaba reached out one hand and tugged at Yusuke’s shirt, signalling him to sit next to him. For someone that could be a real nightmare when she wanted to be, somehow she had taken to him as a safety blanket. Obviously not quite as she had with Akira, but whatever relationship they had could never quite be compared to. She had referred to him as her “key item” several times before. Yusuke had never questioned it. If he had to guess why she spent as much time with him as she did was likely due to the fact that he was always around Akira. He was associated with her “key item,” so eventually she may have taken to associating him with whatever it was that made Akira her lucky item in the first place. Or maybe he was just looking too much into it.

Futaba finally pulled her face away from her knees. Her glasses were crooked, and the area around her eyes was scrubbed red. Had she been crying?

She sniffled. “Akira, he…” Her voice cracked.

“He turned himself in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here it is lads. Somehow I managed to crank out this shit, over 6000 words in two long ass writing sessions. Not to toot my own horn here but damn I think that kiss scene may very well be the best kiss scene I've ever written.  
> Shout out to the server for helping me out with that scene btw. I'm so bad at romancy shit y'all have no idea. It's still weird to think that me, someone who is very emotionally constipated and super bad with romance shit, is writing a 50+ chapter slowburn fic.  
> ~JN
> 
> Come yell at me here:  
> tumblr: jnoah818.tumblr.com  
> twitter: @jnoah818
> 
> edit 1/1/19: HOW THE HELL DID I FORGET TO ADD THE "HO HO HO" THING I'VE HAD THAT PLANNED SINCE THE BEGINNING WHAT THE FUCK. I'm severely disappointed.


	51. happy new year welcome to hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YK: Pancakes, still haunting him from the grave.  
> AT: if you listen closely you can hear him screaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: implied/referenced anxiety?? kinda? putting this here just in case.

_December 25th 2017_

_7:03 pm_

 

**Ann Takamaki → Yusuke Kitagawa**

 

 **AT:** [ hohohomo.img ](https://image.spreadshirtmedia.com/image-server/v1/mp/products/T175A203MPA296PT17X2Y89D1005830151S85/views/1,width=378,height=378,appearanceId=203,backgroundColor=F2F2F2,modelId=1472,crop=list,version=1542187578/ho-ho-homo-christmas-lgbt-ugly-sweater-men-s-jersey-t-shirt.jpg)

**YK:**?

 **AT:** i found a christmas sweater for you

 **YK:** What?

 **AT:** it’s even in your color

 **YK:** Ann that’s a t-shirt.

 **AT:** it was the only one i could find in that shade of blue

 **AT:** and knowing you, the color definitely matters

 **YK:** Well, you’re not wrong.

 **AT:** other options include this one

 **AT:** [ gay.jpg ](https://rockatee.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/image-2381.jpeg)

**AT:** the shade of blue seems off

 **YK:** While I appreciate the design on that one a little more, and that is a nice shade of blue, it’s not exactly my style.

 **YK:** Besides, do I really seem like the “type” to wear an ugly Christmas sweater?

 **AT:** given that the word “ugly” is in the name, not really

 **AT:** that won’t stop me from looking though

 **YK:** Fair enough.

 **AT:** [ stillgay.img ](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0023/7142/0218/products/DynamicImageHandler_e6991a9f-e2c8-4c12-a77d-0184955a5e6f_1024x1024.jpg?v=1537672234)

**AT:** thoughts?

 **YK:** Okay one: No.

 **AT:** valid

 **YK:** Two, the term “sister” would imply that I’m female.

 **YK:** Personally I don’t care regardless, but saying so would also imply an attraction to females.

 **AT:** ok yeah you got me there

 **AT:** you might somehow be the gayest person on the team. and we’re all pretty gay.

 **AT:** hold on i’m still looking

 **AT:** most of these sweaters are red or green

 **YK:** I wonder why.

 **AT:** sarcasm?

 **YK:** Yes, that was sarcasm.

 **AT:** thought so

 **AT:** how about this one?

 **AT:** [ alien.img ](https://i.etsystatic.com/12294262/c/2250/1786/0/501/il/d29668/1364787200/il_340x270.1364787200_ferc.jpg)

**YK:** That seems something Futaba would be more interested in.

 **YK:** I do appreciate the color scheme in that one, though.

 **AT:** yeah that one definitely seems more futaba’s thing but it was worth a shot.

 **AT:** i need to find the perfect gay christmas sweater though

 **YK:** It has to be gay?

 **AT:** yes

 **YK:** Why are you doing this?

 **AT:** tis the season.

 **YK:** That’s all?

 **AT:** well, no.

 **AT:** i’m just really stressed out right now, and this sort of thing helps to calm me down sometimes. i thought we might both need a distraction right now.

 **YK:** I can’t argue with that one.

 **AT:** how are you holding up?

 **YK:** I’ll manage. We always do, after all.

 **AT:** that doesn’t answer the question, fox.

 **AT:** i mean yeah we’ll manage. we’ve been in tougher situations and we’ve always pulled through. that doesn’t mean we’re not emotionally damaged from it, though.

 **YK:** I don’t know how to answer your question.

 **AT:** you don’t have to if you don’t want to. i’m just looking out for you.

 **YK:** Quite frankly… I have no idea.

 **YK:** I don’t know what exactly I’m feeling right now or how to cope with it or… I don’t know what’s happening to me. But that’s really not what’s important right now.

 **AT:** what do you mean “not what’s important?” of course it’s important

 **AT:** your emotions are always important. you can’t let them control you but… they demand to be felt, regardless of what you want.

 **AT:** you don’t understand, and that’s ok. you can’t be expected to understand everything you feel. emotions are really complicated, and don’t always make sense.

 **AT:** wait i think i found a christmas sweater. you’re really going to love this one.

 **AT:** [ aloha.img ](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2016-12/2/14/asset/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane02/sub-buzz-27305-1480705234-1.jpg?downsize=700:*&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto)

**YK:** Ann, get that disgrace as far away from me as possible. Never in my life have I been so offended by a design.

 **AT:** DFGHJK

 **AT:** not that one?

 **YK:** Absolutely not. That deserves to be burned.

 **AT:** alright let me keep looking

 **AT:** [ unicorn.img ](https://i.etsystatic.com/12998802/d/il/dbed79/1073818370/il_340x270.1073818370_pq0g.jpg?version=0)

**AT:** yes?

 **YK:** _No._

 **AT:** [ still-gay.img ](https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/c6fe097c-979a-4f33-a738-25519f46d2d2_1.42fa9992657570836f6a2da202092b77.jpeg?odnHeight=450&odnWidth=450&odnBg=FFFFFF)

**YK:** That one isn’t even a Christmas sweater.

 **AT:** it’s not but i feel like you need something like this

 **YK:** …

 **YK:** I hate that I’m actually considering this.

 **YK:** That isn’t quite my style but I understand the appeal.

 **AT:** ok i know you’re not pan but you still have to see this

 **AT:** [ pan.img ](https://images.lookhuman.com/render/standard/6656647046504026/blanket50fl-whi-z1-t-pan-cake-pride.png)

**YK:** …

 **YK:** My first thought was Akechi.

 **AT:** DFGHJKL

 **AT:** OH MY GOD

 **YK:** Pancakes, still haunting him from the grave.

 **AT:** if you listen closely you can hear him screaming

 **AT:** how pissed do you think he would have been if he knew it was pancakes that lead us onto his plan?

 **YK:** Very.

 **AT:** [ chemistry.img ](https://i.etsystatic.com/12266962/d/il/745eb0/1514936502/il_340x270.1514936502_d6bg.jpg?version=0)

**AT:** thoughts?

 **YK:** Ann… you realize I’m not a math person, correct?

 **AT:** yeah?? neither am i, what’s your point?

 **YK:** Chemistry is mainly math.

 **YK:** You chose to send me the one chemistry lgbt sweater.

 **AT:** …

 **AT:** ok i see your point

 **AT:** not a math gay

 **YK:** Not in the slightest.

 **AT:** i’ll keep looking

 **YK:** You don’t have to.

 **AT:** i’m doing this

 **AT:** i need to find a gay ugly christmas sweater that works for the team artist

 **AT:** you know aesthetics so i am _going_ to find one with aesthetics

 **YK:** They’re called “ugly” for a reason.

 **AT:** _i’m doing it_

 **YK:** I can’t stop you.

 **AT:** this one isn’t for you but i thought it was funny, if not a little gross

 **AT:** [ what.img ](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRTr9oH_ld6aAtPjRx573LORierQBdKg7qU7NMcpowAvk2W7gUl)

**YK:** The implications on that one disturb me.

 **AT:**?

 **YK:** That carrot… was a nose at one point.

 **AT:** ok stop right there

 **AT:** i don’t want to think about that

 **YK:** You were the one to send that.

 **AT:** you would pick up on something like that

 **AT:** ok the search continues

 **AT:** I FOUND THE PERFECT SWEATER FOR YOU

 **AT:** it’s not christmas but it is absolutely perfect

 **AT:** [ ace.img ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/1d/04/b2/1d04b24e6fdb6cbea8d9d0c0cb88406e.png)

**YK:** I mean…

 **YK:** It’s accurate.

 **AT:** i could only find sweatshirts and t-shirts which sucks since i have never seen you wear either, but i think it still gets the point across

 **YK:** I suppose that one is acceptable.

 **AT:** my job is done.

 

* * *

 

_December 26th 2017_

_4:19 pm_

 

**Ho Ho Homos**

 

 **Queen:** Seeing as how no one has said anything in the chat within over twelve hours, I suppose I’ll be the one to take the lead on this one.

 **Queen:** How is everyone currently holding up?

 **Queen:** It has been several minutes and I saw plenty of you typing, yet no one sent a response. Not well, I take it.

 **Skull:** how r we supposed to be holdin up rn makoto

 **Queen:** I don’t have an answer for you on that one. I wish I did, but I don’t.

 **Oracle:** in the past couple of days we managed to lose two of our friends and teammates

 **Oracle:** if any of you are doing good right now i cant help but envy you

 **Noir:** Maybe we should look at the bright side of all of this?

 **Oracle:** what bright side

 **Skull:** ^

 **Noir:** Well… we did stop a god from ending the world. I would say that’s very impressive, especially for a group of high school outcasts.

 **Queen:** That’s very true. We did manage to stop a corrupt god, and Shido has officially been put under police custody.

 **Oracle:** i finally brought justice for my mom

 **Noir:** Exactly! I also managed to bring justice for my father. Everything isn’t so bad.

 **Skull:** nd ig as far as we know akiras alive

 **Oracle:** still

 **Oracle:** it really hurts

 **Oracle:** mona and joker

 **Oracle:** all within a span of 12 hours

 **Oracle:** akiras behavior suddenly makes a lot more sense now

 **Oracle:** i wish i had seen it before

 **Oracle:** saying things like “in case i dont see you guys”

 **Oracle:** in retrospect it was really obvious this was coming

 **Queen:** It was obvious to all of us that something was going on, but when asked about it he refused to answer. He’s… like that.

 **Fox:** If something is troubling him, he doesn’t like to talk about it, as he does not want to worry the rest of us. We have our own problems and he doesn’t want to burden us with them. Which is extremely untrue, as he could never be a burden to any of us.

 **Skull:** thats comeplte bullshit we wanna be there to help him

 **Skull:** askin for help aint a sign of weakness nd we wanna be there to help him. he managed to help all of us

 **Oracle:** i get where hes coming from with that but its completely untrue

 **Noir:** You’re not less strong because you asked for help. Sometimes  it’s better to ask for help. You can only deal with everything for so long, after all.

 **Queen:** All of us are here because we needed help, and he was the one to aid us. I hope he knows that he doesn’t have to do everything alone. Part of being a team is that we all work together. Akira has sacrificed so much for us, and I can only hope that one day we are able to return the favor.

 **Skull:** ^

 **Oracle:** ^

 **Noir:** ^

 

* * *

 

_December 30th 2017_

_1:49 pm_

 

**Ho Ho Homos**

 

 **Panther:** tomorrow is new year’s eve…

 **Skull:** yea

 **Panther:** i haven’t seen any of you since christmas

 **Panther:** is there anything we can do to help akira?

 **Queen:** That’s rather optimistic of you, Ann.

 **Skull:** wat can we do in this case. were just kids

 **Panther:** i don’t know, but even though we’re just kids, that’s never stopped us before. we might be kids but we’re also the phantom thieves! we took down a sexual predator, an abuser, a mob boss, medjed… we took down masayoshi shido and a corrupt god!

 **Queen:** You do have a point. Even for just kids, we’ve accomplished so much. We’ve faced greater damages and have come out unscathed. Perhaps there may be something we could do.

 **Panther:** i know it’s not the same but maybe we could meet up for it? i miss you guys

 **Panther:** we’re all dealing with our own issues right now, and without akira here things have been pretty rough, but we don’t all have to suffer alone. every single one of us is hurting right now. we all know what we’re dealing with, and we don’t have to go through it alone. we’re a team, remember?

 **Queen:** It has been a while… Maybe tomorrow evening we could all meet up in that walkway in Shibuya?

 **Skull:** u mean at our old hideout?

 **Panther:** yeah! we can watch the fireworks together and just kind of figure it out from there.

 **Skull:** k

 **Panther:** @everyone tomorrow night, shibuya walkway.

 **Panther:** oh and happy new year guys

 

* * *

 

_December 31st 2017_

_11:56 pm_

 

Meeting up in Shibuya sure brought back memories…

Last time the group had all gathered there had been around the time Makoto had joined the team. Shortly after, they had changed their hideout. It had only been a few months ago, but in retrospect it felt like years.

The rest of the walkway was completely empty, everyone else gathered all along central street and the station square. It left the entire place open for them to discuss whatever they needed.

“Just look at ‘em all partying down there,” Ryuji commented. He sighed and kicked at the ground. “They don’t even know. Heh, guess that’s fine.”

Yusuke expected nothing less of the general public. They all lived their own lives, and that was fine. He couldn’t expect them all to feel the same pain. Then again, Yusuke wasn’t even sure they knew that the Phantom Thief leader was, once again, in police custody. Had the information ever been leaked to the media? It was unlikely. No one was really talking about the Phantom Thieves much, anyway. Maybe that was for the best.

Ann pressed a hand against the glass window, a far away look hidden behind gentle eyes. “I wish Akira… I wish he could be here with us.”

_Akira._

Yusuke sighed. At this point, he wasn’t even sure he wanted to be around anyone, friend, former teammate or otherwise. Not at the given moment, at least. The crowds were making that factor much more difficult. “That said, we have our cell phones. Was there truly a need to meet?” There was no disguising the ice that crept into his words. Wasn’t it just instinct, to hide behind a wall of ice? It was almost second nature, even after everything the Phantom Thieves had taught him.

Ryuji made a face. “Our next move’s important.”

“Besides, don’t you think it’s nice talking in person?” Haru asked politely. She was always so calm, even in the heat of battle. Yusuke wasn’t very close to her, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy her company.

He shrugged, but remained silent. His silence was enough of an answer, anyways.

Those outside began screaming and chanting with excitement. Large, bubble numbers appeared on the big screen right outside, counting backwards until the new year.

“Ten…” Futaba muttered. It had been the first thing she said all evening. “Nine, eight…”

“Seven…” Makoto chimed in.

“Six.” Ann.

“Five, four…” Ryuji.

“Three. Two.” Haru.

“...One.” Yusuke whispered.

Zero.

Haru placed a soft, chaste kiss on Makoto’s lips. “Happy New Year, Mako-chan.”

There was no hiding the way Makoto’s face turned bright red. “Happy New Year.”’

Yusuke turned his head away. Inside, a surge of electric green curled up his spine. Jealousy, he had come to recognize. Envy.

Only this time, he wasn’t threatened by another human being. If he were being honest, he wished it were him instead.

Dammit… why hadn’t Akira said anything to him? He had made strange comments, as if he were going away, but when asked about it he refused to say anything. A little warning would have been nice. The wave of disgusting, heavy weighing emotions would have been a bit easier to deal with.

“Happy twenty eighteen.” Futaba buzzed. She pressed her face against the window. “Wow… it’s getting rowdy out there.”

A group of people had climbed up onto the roof of one of the shops. People screamed in excitement, couples were seemingly permanently liplocked, streamers and confetti and miscellaneous other items were tossed around and…

Makoto stepped away from the window. “It almost seems rowdier this year, doesn’t it?”

Ann made a noise of confirmation. “We’ll have to brace ourselves.”

“I’ll try contacting my father’s associates.” Haru reassured. “Whatever it is I can do to help.”

Ryuji shoved his hands in his sweatshirt pockets and nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

Makoto spoke once more. “Sounds like we’re set. We must succeed, no matter the cost.” She had taken the spot of temporarily leader, while their actual leader was… busy. No one had officially elected her or anything, but the agreement seemed unspoken. Besides, they didn’t have to. She was clearly the best candidate. The only other candidate would have been Morgana, and Morgana was...

“Let’s do this.”

...Not around anymore.

They broke away for the time being, all of them walking in separate directions. Finally alone, it seemed.

Yusuke let out a breath he hadn’t even been aware he was holding. What was he supposed to think? Akira had turned himself in without saying a word to the rest of them. How was someone supposed to react to that?

It… it hurt. It was like a white hot blade had been driven through the back of his neck and left there, untouched and forgotten, driven directly between his shoulders.

“Hey, wait for me.”

Yusuke stopped dead in his tracks.

Haru, seemingly out of nowhere, manifested behind him and offered a warm, cinnamon smile. “I have to go this way and thought we could walk together.”

He nodded in response, not trusting himself to allow for a verbal answer. They hadn’t been alone together since Akechi.

She shoved her hands inside her coat pockets and shivered. “It’s chilly.”

“I suppose so.” Truth be told, he didn’t even feel the cold. He wasn’t bothered by it nearly as much as a normal person would be.

There was a moment of deafening silence between the two of them, only interrupted by their footsteps echoing against the abandoned walkway. Without lights or people, the train station sure could be creepy. In a way, it reminded Yusuke a bit of Mementos, but perhaps slightly more humane. The perfect shot for a horror movie, or maybe the perfect scene for a painting. What type of theme could it correspond with? Abandonment? Isolation? Loneliness?

Haru exhaled, her breath visible in the crisp winter air. “You’re thinking about… him, aren’t you?”

Yusuke said nothing. He didn’t have to, really. No point denying something that was obviously true.

She picked up on this, and continued speaking. “You know, you can say what’s on your mind. You don’t have to stay silent on this. We’re all worried about him, and even if we may never understand exactly the way you feel, we all understand.”

Wasn’t that the truth of it all.

 _You don’t have to stay silent._ If only someone had told him that sooner in life.

Haru kept going. “I won’t press you to talk about it, but just know we’re all here in support.” She placed a gentle hand on his arm. “You’re not alone here. Just remember that, okay?”

He nodded to show he was listening. Not alone… The concept was foreign, but over the past few months, somehow he had become steadily reliant on it. He supposed the rest of his teammates were in similar positions.

She offered him a kind smile. “Akira-kun is strong. He’ll be okay, I promise.”

That wasn’t what he was worried about, but hearing the statement come from her…

She was warm, while Yusuke was entirely ice cold. She knew reassurance and forgiveness; Yusuke had known nothing but force and acceptance for the longest time. She was positive and optimistic and strong; Yusuke was frozen to the touch.

Maybe she was right.

Maybe it would be okay.

Then again, maybe not.

 

* * *

 

_January 1st 2018_

_8:35pm_

 

**Haru Okumura → Makoto Niijima**

 

 **HO:** Things have officially been broken off with sugimura. My father’s company is now officially mine, and the old contract had with him has been terminated. There’s nothing to worry about.

 **MN:** That’s amazing news! I’m so happy for you, Haru.

 **HO:** There’s nothing more that can get in the way of us. It took longer than i would have liked it to, and i’m sorry about that, but everything is finally solved.

 **HO:** Not a bad start to the new year, huh?

 **MN:** Not bad at all. Hopefully we can finally clear Akira’s name.

 **HO:** Now that would make for a terrific start to the new year. Our leader is freed and there’s nothing stopping me from being with the most wonderful girl i have ever met.

 **HO:** Mako-chan? Are you still here?

 **MN:** _Yes I’m here._

 **HO:** Are you ok mako-chan?

 **MN:** _I’m fine just flustered_

 **HO:** Aww! You’re so cute when you’re flustered! I only wish i could see it in person.

 **MN:** _Hhfskjewlreytruty_

 **HO:** Aww! Your first keyboard smash! You really are flustered right now!

 **MN:** How could I not be? A beautiful girl just said some really kind things to me.

 **HO:** Now you’re making me blush.

 **HO:** Hey, can we talk about something real quick? I just can’t stop thinking about it.

 **MN:** Yes?

 **HO:** It’s hard to believe we’ve almost officially graduated, isn’t it? The second term and the school year is over. Finals are over. High school is over. Come spring, the two of us will be in some sort of university.

 **MN:** It’s very hard to believe. Strange, just how time flies. Soon enough, our lives will really begin. It’s a bit scary to think about, isn’t it?

 **HO:** It’s scary, yes, but i’m glad.

 **HO:** I’m glad i can share this experience with you.

 **HO:** When i’m with you, it feels like i can take on almost anything. No matter how difficult the situation gets, i still have you. You understand me.

 **HO:** Sorry, was that too much?

 **MN:** No! Not at all!

 **MN:** I, um… I’m glad I can share this experience with you, too. If I was on my own, I’m not quite sure what I would do. I’d be a lost cause for sure. You make life… easier? Like we can depend on each other. Does that make sense?

 **HO:** That makes perfect sense.

 **HO:** Thank you for being there for me. I’ve never quite felt like this about anyone. I’m glad it could be you.

 **MN:** I’m glad it could be you, too.

 **MN:** Haru, I…

 **MN:** I really care about you.

 **HO:** I care about you, too.

 **HO:** I have some business I must attend to, so i’m going to have to take my leave. Have a good night mako-chan.

 **MN:** Thank you. Goodnight, Haru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't have an explanation for this one. Sorry this chapter is shorter than usual.  
> I spent like an hour just looking through gay christmas sweaters because I wanted some Ann and Yusuke bonding. Also we got some more gay shit, so for those of you who have been craving some sweet MakoHaru/Okujiima, I gotchu.  
> ~JN
> 
> come yell at me here:  
> tumblr: jnoah818.tumblr.com  
> twitter: @jnoah818

**Author's Note:**

> And thus, the groupchat was born..  
> hmu on tumblr @jnoah818
> 
> Okay so this starts off following Madarame's palace and will follow the timeline of the game.  
> Also the chapters do get longer I promise. This was just the prologue


End file.
